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Helga:
ARNOLD!
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00:00:02,830 --> 00:00:04,373
( barking )
3
00:00:05,374 --> 00:00:06,709
HEY, ARNOLD!
4
00:00:11,547 --> 00:00:13,090
( glass shatters )
5
00:00:16,677 --> 00:00:17,594
( girl shrieks )
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00:00:17,678 --> 00:00:20,472
Helga:
HEY, ARNOLD!
7
00:00:21,348 --> 00:00:23,600
ARNOLD!
8
00:00:24,351 --> 00:00:26,437
ARNOLD!
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00:00:26,729 --> 00:00:29,606
ARNOLD!
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00:00:29,690 --> 00:00:32,401
[Captioning sponsored by THE
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
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00:00:32,484 --> 00:00:35,904
and NICKELODEON]
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00:00:37,364 --> 00:00:39,074
AR-NOLD!
13
00:00:39,700 --> 00:00:42,453
MOVE IT,
FOOTBALL-HEAD!
14
00:00:42,536 --> 00:00:43,829
Kids:
HEY, ARNOLD!
15
00:00:55,799 --> 00:00:58,719
Arnold:
LOOK, LILA, EVIL TWIN II.
16
00:00:58,802 --> 00:01:00,012
WE COULD GO SATURDAY.
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00:01:00,095 --> 00:01:01,930
GOSH, I DON'T THINK SO, ARNOLD.
18
00:01:02,014 --> 00:01:02,848
I REALLY DON'T
LIKE SCARY MOVIES.
19
00:01:02,931 --> 00:01:05,058
OKAY THEN, HOW ABOUT THIS ONE--
20
00:01:05,142 --> 00:01:08,604
THE ENCHANTED BUNNIES
OF HAPPY FOREST?
21
00:01:08,687 --> 00:01:10,272
IT DOESN'T LOOK SCARY.
22
00:01:10,355 --> 00:01:11,648
YOU'RE RIGHT, ARNOLD,
IT LOOKS SWEET
23
00:01:11,732 --> 00:01:13,650
JUST EVER SO SWEET.
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00:01:13,734 --> 00:01:16,069
I'D RATHER
WE DIDN'T SEE IT.
25
00:01:16,153 --> 00:01:17,821
HOW COME, LILA?
26
00:01:17,905 --> 00:01:19,531
YOU LOVE
THAT KIND OF MOVIE.
27
00:01:19,615 --> 00:01:21,158
WELL, YES,
JUST EVER SO MUCH.
28
00:01:21,241 --> 00:01:21,825
THEN WHY WON'T YOU SEE IT?
29
00:01:21,909 --> 00:01:24,077
OH, IT'S NOT THE MOVIE, ARNOLD
30
00:01:24,161 --> 00:01:29,124
IT'S... WELL, TO BE JUST
PERFECTLY HONEST, IT'S YOU.
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00:01:30,542 --> 00:01:32,044
OH, DON'T
GET ME WRONG, ARNOLD
32
00:01:32,127 --> 00:01:33,837
YOU AND I ARE REALLY
GOOD FRIENDS
33
00:01:33,921 --> 00:01:36,215
BUT, AS I'VE TOLD YOU,
OH, SO MANY TIMES
34
00:01:36,298 --> 00:01:38,967
I JUST DON'T
LIKE-YOU LIKE YOU.
35
00:01:39,051 --> 00:01:39,718
AND GOING
TO A MOVIE TOGETHER
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00:01:39,802 --> 00:01:42,679
SOUNDS KIND OF LIKE A DATE.
37
00:01:42,763 --> 00:01:44,765
YOU UNDERSTAND, DON'T YOU?
38
00:01:44,848 --> 00:01:45,724
ACTUALLY, LILA,
I'M NOT SURE I DO.
39
00:01:45,808 --> 00:01:48,143
YOU AND I
GET ALONG SO GREAT
40
00:01:48,227 --> 00:01:50,229
AND WE HAVE
SO MUCH IN COMMON.
41
00:01:50,312 --> 00:01:53,732
I REALLY DON'T GET
WHY YOU DON'T LIKE-ME LIKE ME.
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00:01:53,816 --> 00:01:56,735
GOSH, ARNOLD, I SUPPOSE
IT'S BECAUSE YOU'RE JUST NOT
43
00:01:56,819 --> 00:01:59,446
THAT OH-SO-SPECIAL SOMEONE
I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR.
44
00:01:59,530 --> 00:02:00,322
THAT'S ALL.
45
00:02:00,405 --> 00:02:00,739
OH...
46
00:02:00,823 --> 00:02:02,699
I'M EVER SO SORRY.
47
00:02:02,783 --> 00:02:03,951
ANYWAY, I'M CERTAIN
48
00:02:04,034 --> 00:02:05,994
I OUGHT TO BE
GETTING HOME NOW.
49
00:02:06,078 --> 00:02:07,704
I'LL SEE YOU
LATER, ARNOLD.
50
00:02:07,788 --> 00:02:09,164
SEE YOU, LILA.
51
00:02:09,248 --> 00:02:12,459
HUH, ARNOLD
SPURNED ONCE AGAIN BY LILA--
52
00:02:12,543 --> 00:02:14,795
THE UNDESERVING OBJECT
53
00:02:14,878 --> 00:02:16,213
OF HIS MOST STUPID
BOYHOOD AFFECTIONS.
54
00:02:18,924 --> 00:02:20,551
AND YET, HERE I STAND
55
00:02:20,634 --> 00:02:22,928
PATHETICALLY LURKING
IN THE SHADOWS
56
00:02:23,011 --> 00:02:25,430
BUSTING WITH DESIRE
FOR MY BELOVED
57
00:02:25,514 --> 00:02:28,809
ONLY TOO TIMID AND SHY
TO TELL HIM HOW I FEEL.
58
00:02:28,892 --> 00:02:29,935
OH, ARNOLD...
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00:02:30,018 --> 00:02:32,604
WHAT IS THIS THING
CALLED "LOVE?"
60
00:02:32,688 --> 00:02:34,523
WHAT IS THIS CRAZY,
LITTLE EMOTION
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00:02:34,606 --> 00:02:37,234
THAT MAKES OUR STOMACHS CHURN
ALL TOPSY-TURVY
62
00:02:37,317 --> 00:02:38,318
OUR KNEES BUCKLE
63
00:02:38,402 --> 00:02:39,236
WHAT IS THIS WACKY FEELING
64
00:02:39,319 --> 00:02:42,990
THAT MAKES US FEEL
ATTRACTION FOR ONE PERSON
65
00:02:43,073 --> 00:02:44,575
AND TOTAL REPULSION FOR ANOTHER?
66
00:02:44,658 --> 00:02:45,534
Arnold:
HELGA?
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00:02:45,617 --> 00:02:47,286
ARNOLD!
68
00:02:47,369 --> 00:02:48,662
WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO?
69
00:02:48,745 --> 00:02:49,621
UH... NO ONE,
FOOTBALL-HEAD
70
00:02:49,705 --> 00:02:52,416
I WASN'T TALKING
TO ANYONE.
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00:02:52,499 --> 00:02:54,751
I-I WAS SINGING,
SINGING A SONG.
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00:02:54,835 --> 00:02:56,378
NOT THAT IT'S ANY
OF YOUR BUSINESS.
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00:02:59,131 --> 00:03:00,090
WOMEN.
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00:03:00,173 --> 00:03:03,886
OH, ARNOLD, WHERE
IN THE HECK HAVE YOU BEEN?
75
00:03:03,969 --> 00:03:06,263
I'VE BEEN WAITING
FOR YOU ALL DAY.
76
00:03:06,346 --> 00:03:07,514
I WAS IN SCHOOL, GRANDPA.
77
00:03:07,598 --> 00:03:08,181
SCHOOL?
78
00:03:08,265 --> 00:03:09,766
WHAT WERE YOU DOING AT SCHOOL
79
00:03:09,850 --> 00:03:11,852
WHEN YOU KNEW
DARN WELL
80
00:03:11,935 --> 00:03:13,729
YOUR COUSIN ARNIE
WAS COMING TODAY
81
00:03:13,812 --> 00:03:15,105
FOR HIS FOUR-WEEK VISIT?
82
00:03:15,188 --> 00:03:16,940
SORRY, GRANDPA,
I TOTALLY FORGOT.
83
00:03:17,024 --> 00:03:18,191
THANKS TO YOU
84
00:03:18,275 --> 00:03:19,776
I HAD TO SPEND
THE WHOLE DAY
WITH THE WEIRDO.
85
00:03:19,860 --> 00:03:22,988
ARNIE, ARE YOU IN THERE?
86
00:03:23,071 --> 00:03:23,572
IT'S ME, ARNOLD.
87
00:03:23,655 --> 00:03:26,033
( flushing )
88
00:03:28,368 --> 00:03:28,452
HEY, ARNIE.
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00:03:28,535 --> 00:03:30,245
HEY.
90
00:03:30,329 --> 00:03:30,954
WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN UP TO?
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00:03:31,038 --> 00:03:33,707
I'VE BEEN READING
THE INGREDIENTS
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00:03:33,790 --> 00:03:35,125
ON THE SHAMPOO BOTTLE.
93
00:03:35,208 --> 00:03:36,960
THAT'S REALLY...
INTERESTING.
94
00:03:37,044 --> 00:03:37,920
YEAH.
95
00:03:38,003 --> 00:03:38,837
WAS IT GOOD FLIGHT?
96
00:03:38,921 --> 00:03:40,714
YEAH, I READ
THE INGREDIENTS
97
00:03:40,797 --> 00:03:43,926
ON THE BACK OF THIS
LITTLE BAG OF PEANUTS.
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00:03:44,009 --> 00:03:50,223
( slurping )
99
00:03:50,307 --> 00:03:51,975
Ernie:
SO, ARNIE...
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00:03:52,059 --> 00:03:53,310
WHAT'S YOUR DEAL?
101
00:03:53,393 --> 00:03:54,895
YOU KNOW,
WHAT ARE YOU INTO?
102
00:03:54,978 --> 00:03:56,271
WHAT ARE YOUR HOBBIES?
103
00:03:56,355 --> 00:03:57,522
I LIKE TO COUNT THINGS.
104
00:03:57,606 --> 00:03:59,983
COUNT THINGS.
105
00:04:00,067 --> 00:04:02,653
SUZIE, WHAT KIND
OF STUPID ANSWER
IS THAT?
106
00:04:02,736 --> 00:04:03,654
WHAT? HE'S AN IDIOT.
107
00:04:03,737 --> 00:04:06,448
HE IS NOT AN IDIOT,
HE'S JUST A LITTLE SHY.
108
00:04:06,531 --> 00:04:08,700
WHAT ELSE ARE YOU
INTERESTED IN, ARNIE?
109
00:04:08,784 --> 00:04:11,286
GUM... ( snorts )
PLAIN-FLAVORED GUM.
110
00:04:12,496 --> 00:04:15,248
OKAY, SO MAYBE HE IS
A LITTLE SLOW.
111
00:04:15,332 --> 00:04:15,666
WHAT A LOSER.
112
00:04:15,749 --> 00:04:18,126
OH, HE'S SO UGLY.
113
00:04:18,210 --> 00:04:19,461
I CANNOT LOOK AT HIM!
114
00:04:21,964 --> 00:04:23,340
IT'S AMAZIN', ARNOLD.
115
00:04:23,423 --> 00:04:26,343
HE LOOKS JUST LIKE YOU
ONLY HE'S A LOT UGLIER
116
00:04:26,426 --> 00:04:29,721
AND HE TALKS
KIND OF LIKE YOU,
ONLY HE'S A LOT DUMBER.
117
00:04:29,805 --> 00:04:31,056
I HATE TO SAY IT
118
00:04:31,139 --> 00:04:32,766
BUT, TO TELL
THE PLAIN TRUTH
119
00:04:32,849 --> 00:04:34,184
YOU'RE COUSIN'S
DULL AS DIRT.
120
00:04:34,268 --> 00:04:35,978
I KNOW, STINKY,
BUT HE'S FAMILY.
121
00:04:36,061 --> 00:04:37,187
SO, I'D APPRECIATE IT
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00:04:37,270 --> 00:04:37,854
IF YOU COULD BE
NICE TO HIM
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00:04:37,938 --> 00:04:40,649
AND JUST TRY
TO LIKE HIM.
124
00:04:40,732 --> 00:04:42,317
I COLLECT LINT.
125
00:04:42,401 --> 00:04:45,070
I SAVED THIS FROM MY BROWN
CORDUROYS LAST SUMMER.
126
00:04:45,153 --> 00:04:46,530
DO YOU WANT
TO TOUCH IT?
127
00:04:46,613 --> 00:04:48,949
OH, NADINE, WOULD
YOU LOOK AT THE TIME.
128
00:04:49,032 --> 00:04:50,367
WE'RE GOING TO BE LATE
129
00:04:50,450 --> 00:04:51,868
FOR THAT... THAT
THING WE HAVE TO DO.
130
00:04:51,952 --> 00:04:53,412
HURRY, NADINE, HURRY!
131
00:04:54,830 --> 00:04:59,042
OH, MAN, WHAT A DWEEB.
132
00:04:59,126 --> 00:05:00,877
WELL, OKAY, ARNOLD
I'LL BE NICE TO HIM
133
00:05:00,961 --> 00:05:03,797
AND I'LL EVEN TRY
TO LIKE HIM.
134
00:05:03,880 --> 00:05:05,298
BUT IT'S HARD TO BELIEVE
135
00:05:05,382 --> 00:05:07,718
ANYBODY COULD DEEP DOWN
AND TRULY LIKE
136
00:05:07,801 --> 00:05:11,179
SOMEONE LIKE YOUR POOR,
SORRY, COUSIN ARNIE.
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00:05:11,263 --> 00:05:12,305
SEE YOU TOMORROW.
138
00:05:17,686 --> 00:05:19,187
HI...
139
00:05:19,271 --> 00:05:20,981
( snorts )
HEY.
140
00:05:24,067 --> 00:05:26,820
Grandpa:
HOW ABOUT THAT, SHORT MAN
141
00:05:26,903 --> 00:05:28,697
THE LITTLE DWEEB'S
GOT SOME PLANS.
142
00:05:28,780 --> 00:05:31,408
Arnold:
YEAH, LOOKS LIKE
I'M ON MY OWN TONIGHT.
143
00:05:31,491 --> 00:05:32,576
I'LL GO SEE A MOVIE.
144
00:05:34,494 --> 00:05:36,496
"POLYSORBATE-80,
MONOSODIUM GLUTAMATE
145
00:05:36,580 --> 00:05:38,665
YELLOW DYE NUMBER FIVE,
CAROTENE..."
146
00:05:38,749 --> 00:05:40,208
GOSH, ARNIE, IT'S
JUST EVER SO IMPRESSIVE
147
00:05:40,292 --> 00:05:43,086
THE WAY YOU READ
ALL THOSE BIG WORDS.
148
00:05:43,170 --> 00:05:45,505
I'M GOING TO GO
GET SOME POPCORN.
149
00:05:53,096 --> 00:05:53,930
LILA?
150
00:05:54,014 --> 00:05:55,557
HELLO, ARNOLD.
151
00:05:55,640 --> 00:05:56,349
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
152
00:05:56,433 --> 00:05:59,102
YOU SAID YOU DIDN'T
LIKE SCARY MOVIES.
153
00:05:59,186 --> 00:05:59,770
WELL, I'M CERTAIN I DON'T.
154
00:05:59,853 --> 00:06:02,272
THIS IS EVIL TWIN II.
155
00:06:02,355 --> 00:06:04,107
OH...
156
00:06:04,191 --> 00:06:05,275
WELL, GOSH...
157
00:06:05,358 --> 00:06:06,401
HEY.
158
00:06:08,278 --> 00:06:11,615
UM, LILA, CAN I TALK
TO YOU IN PRIVATE?
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00:06:12,949 --> 00:06:14,451
LILA, I APPRECIATE
YOU BEING NICE
160
00:06:14,534 --> 00:06:16,995
BUT YOU DON'T HAVE
TO HANG AROUND
WITH MY COUSIN
161
00:06:17,079 --> 00:06:18,288
JUST BECAUSE
YOU BAD FOR HIM.
162
00:06:18,371 --> 00:06:21,208
YOU DON'T HAVE
TO SPEND TIME WITH ARNIE
163
00:06:21,291 --> 00:06:22,542
JUST BECAUSE HE'S WEIRD.
164
00:06:22,626 --> 00:06:26,004
ARNOLD, I'M AFRAID
YOU'VE GOT IT,
OH, SO WRONG.
165
00:06:26,088 --> 00:06:27,255
I DON'T FEEL BAD
FOR ARNIE
166
00:06:27,339 --> 00:06:30,383
AND I'M CERTAIN
I DON'T THINK HE'S WEIRD.
167
00:06:30,467 --> 00:06:31,468
AS A MATTER OF FACT
168
00:06:31,551 --> 00:06:33,470
I'VE FALLEN MADLY
IN LOVE WITH HIM.
169
00:06:33,553 --> 00:06:34,221
WHAT?!
170
00:06:34,304 --> 00:06:35,472
I'M IN LOVE WITH HIM.
171
00:06:35,555 --> 00:06:36,890
HE'S THE BOY OF MY DREAMS.
172
00:06:36,973 --> 00:06:38,725
LET ME
GET THIS STRAIGHT:
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00:06:38,809 --> 00:06:41,353
YOU DON'T LIKE ME
BUT YOU LIKE ARNIE.
174
00:06:41,436 --> 00:06:43,021
WELL, YES.
175
00:06:43,105 --> 00:06:45,315
HOW CAN YOU POSSIBLE
PREFER HIM TO ME?
176
00:06:45,398 --> 00:06:48,318
GOSH, ARNOLD, I SUPPOSE
IT'S JUST BECAUSE ARNIE HAS
177
00:06:48,401 --> 00:06:51,780
THAT, OH, SO
SPECIAL SOMETHING.
178
00:06:51,863 --> 00:06:53,448
( screams )
179
00:06:53,532 --> 00:06:55,784
THIS IS BETTER THAN ANY MOVIE.
180
00:06:57,744 --> 00:07:00,205
( Lila giggling )
181
00:07:04,417 --> 00:07:05,961
( sighs )
182
00:07:10,257 --> 00:07:11,633
OH...
183
00:07:17,222 --> 00:07:19,599
( giggling )
184
00:07:19,683 --> 00:07:21,226
I STILL
CAN'T UNDERSTAND
185
00:07:21,309 --> 00:07:23,353
HOW LILA COULD PREFER
186
00:07:23,436 --> 00:07:25,772
YOUR PLAIN, HOMELY,
DULL-AS-DIRT
COUSIN ARNIE
187
00:07:25,856 --> 00:07:27,023
OVER YOU, ARNOLD.
188
00:07:27,107 --> 00:07:30,360
I MEAN, YOU'RE
NO DAPPER DAN
189
00:07:30,443 --> 00:07:32,529
BUT YOU SURE ARE
BETTER LOOKING
190
00:07:32,612 --> 00:07:35,073
AND YOU'RE SURE
A LOT MORE FUN
TO TALK TO.
191
00:07:35,157 --> 00:07:37,033
BUT SHE JUST
LIKES HIM BETTER.
192
00:07:37,117 --> 00:07:38,243
LOOK AT HER GLOW.
193
00:07:38,326 --> 00:07:39,995
STINKY... SHUT UP.
194
00:07:40,078 --> 00:07:40,579
WHAT DID I SAY?
195
00:07:42,289 --> 00:07:45,375
HEY, FOOTBALL-HEAD,
HOW'S IT GOING?
196
00:07:45,458 --> 00:07:46,668
Helga:
STILL UPSET?
197
00:07:46,751 --> 00:07:48,211
HOW CAN SHE
PREFER HIM TO ME?
198
00:07:48,295 --> 00:07:49,212
MAYBE HE'S JUST GOT
199
00:07:49,296 --> 00:07:50,881
THAT CERTAIN
SPECIAL SOMETHING
200
00:07:50,964 --> 00:07:52,382
SHE'S LOOKING FOR.
201
00:07:52,465 --> 00:07:54,509
COME ON, HELGA,
THE GUY COLLECTS LINT.
202
00:07:54,593 --> 00:07:56,720
I CAN'T STAND
LOOKING AT THEM ANYMORE.
203
00:07:56,803 --> 00:07:58,180
IT'S DRIVING
ME CRAZY!
204
00:07:58,263 --> 00:08:00,432
IF YOU WANT TO GET LILA
TO STOP LIKING ARNIE
205
00:08:00,515 --> 00:08:02,142
JUST PRETEND
YOU'RE IN LOVE
WITH ANOTHER GIRL.
206
00:08:02,225 --> 00:08:04,728
THAT WAY, LILA
WILL BE JEALOUS
207
00:08:04,811 --> 00:08:06,313
AND COME CRAWLING
BACK TO YOU.
208
00:08:06,396 --> 00:08:08,565
OH, COME ON, THAT WON'T WORK.
209
00:08:08,648 --> 00:08:09,733
THIS JUST IN, ARNOLD:
210
00:08:09,816 --> 00:08:10,775
GIRLS DON'T LIKE YOU
211
00:08:10,859 --> 00:08:12,110
IF THEY KNOW
YOU LIKE THEM.
212
00:08:12,194 --> 00:08:12,569
THEY DON'T?
213
00:08:12,652 --> 00:08:14,029
NO, GIRLS LIKE YOU
214
00:08:14,112 --> 00:08:15,947
IF THEY THINK
YOU DON'T LIKE THEM.
215
00:08:16,031 --> 00:08:17,824
SO IF LILA THOUGHT
YOU WERE ALL GOOFY
216
00:08:17,908 --> 00:08:19,451
OVER SOME OTHER GIRL
217
00:08:19,534 --> 00:08:22,621
SHE'D DUMP ARNIE
AND FALL RIGHT BACK
IN YOUR LAP.
218
00:08:22,704 --> 00:08:23,622
WOULD IT WORK?
219
00:08:23,705 --> 00:08:24,331
TRUST ME.
220
00:08:24,414 --> 00:08:26,082
OKAY, WHO CAN I GET?
221
00:08:26,166 --> 00:08:28,585
I DON'T KNOW,
THERE MUST BE SOMEONE AROUND.
222
00:08:28,668 --> 00:08:29,419
PHOEBE?
223
00:08:29,502 --> 00:08:31,087
OH, ARNOLD, PLEASE.
224
00:08:31,171 --> 00:08:33,381
NO ONE'S EVER GOING TO BE
JEALOUS OF PHOEBE.
225
00:08:33,465 --> 00:08:33,924
SHEENA?
226
00:08:34,007 --> 00:08:34,257
TOO GEEKY.
227
00:08:34,341 --> 00:08:35,342
RHONDA?
228
00:08:35,425 --> 00:08:36,593
LIKE RHONDA LLOYD
229
00:08:36,676 --> 00:08:37,928
WOULD EVER PRETEND
TO BE YOUR GIRLFRIEND.
230
00:08:38,011 --> 00:08:40,597
WELL, WHAT ABOUT YOU?
231
00:08:40,680 --> 00:08:41,514
ME?
232
00:08:41,598 --> 00:08:42,849
TALK ABOUT A CRAZY IDEA.
233
00:08:42,933 --> 00:08:44,976
BUT WHAT, THE HEY,
I'M IN A GOOD MOOD.
234
00:08:45,060 --> 00:08:46,394
I GUESS I COULD
HELP YOU OUT.
235
00:08:46,478 --> 00:08:49,022
DON'T SAY I NEVER DID
YOU ANY FAVORS, ARNOLDO.
236
00:08:53,026 --> 00:08:55,904
( quavers )
237
00:08:55,987 --> 00:08:56,696
Helga:
ALL RIGHT, ROMEO
238
00:08:56,780 --> 00:08:58,240
YOU SIT BEHIND ME
AND START BRUSHING.
239
00:08:58,323 --> 00:08:59,616
WHEN THEY
ROUND THE CORNER
240
00:08:59,699 --> 00:09:02,953
SHE'LL SEE US
AND INSTANTLY GO
GREEN WITH ENVY.
241
00:09:03,036 --> 00:09:05,872
YOU WANT ME TO BRUSH YOUR HAIR
TO MAKE LILA JEALOUS?
242
00:09:05,956 --> 00:09:06,456
DID I STUTTER,
LOVERBOY?
243
00:09:06,539 --> 00:09:08,542
HAVE A SEAT
AND GET TO IT
244
00:09:08,625 --> 00:09:09,918
BEFORE I CHANGE MY MIND
ABOUT HELPING YOU.
245
00:09:10,001 --> 00:09:12,379
HERE THEY COME.
246
00:09:22,347 --> 00:09:24,057
( class bell rings )
247
00:09:26,059 --> 00:09:28,687
SHOW TIME!
248
00:09:30,063 --> 00:09:33,191
I CAN'T BELIEVE
I'M GOING TO ACTUALLY DO THIS.
249
00:09:33,275 --> 00:09:34,150
( Helga laughs )
250
00:09:34,234 --> 00:09:37,570
OH, ARNOLD,
THAT TICKLES.
251
00:09:37,654 --> 00:09:38,697
OOPS, EXCUSE US.
252
00:09:45,870 --> 00:09:46,830
Arnold:
NO WAY.
253
00:09:46,913 --> 00:09:48,331
I DRAW THE LINE.
254
00:09:48,415 --> 00:09:50,834
OH, COME ON, FOOTBALL-HEAD,
IT'S A GREAT IDEA.
255
00:09:50,917 --> 00:09:52,585
BESIDES, THEY'RE LOOKING
OVER HERE RIGHT NOW.
256
00:10:01,219 --> 00:10:02,846
GOSH, ARNOLD SURE
IS SPENDING
257
00:10:02,929 --> 00:10:03,805
A LOT OF TIME
WITH HELGA LATELY.
258
00:10:06,474 --> 00:10:06,683
YEAH.
259
00:10:11,604 --> 00:10:13,565
LOOK, I GOT
YOU A PRESENT.
260
00:10:15,609 --> 00:10:17,027
HERE, I'LL
OPEN IT FOR YOU.
261
00:10:17,110 --> 00:10:18,194
IT'S FRENCH.
262
00:10:18,278 --> 00:10:20,572
I THOUGHT YOU'D
LIKE READING
263
00:10:20,655 --> 00:10:22,657
THE INGREDIENTS IN
A FOREIGN LANGUAGE.
264
00:10:22,741 --> 00:10:24,701
THERE'S SOMETHING
I HAVE TO TELL YOU.
265
00:10:24,784 --> 00:10:27,537
GOSH, ARNIE,
WHATEVER COULD IT BE?
266
00:10:27,620 --> 00:10:27,912
HEY.
267
00:10:27,996 --> 00:10:29,873
HEY, ARNIE
268
00:10:29,956 --> 00:10:30,999
COULD I TALK
TO HELGA ALONE?
269
00:10:31,082 --> 00:10:32,834
SURE.
270
00:10:36,338 --> 00:10:37,172
I BROKE UP WITH LILA.
271
00:10:37,255 --> 00:10:39,966
YOU BROKE UP
WITH LILA!
272
00:10:40,050 --> 00:10:40,342
WHY?
273
00:10:40,425 --> 00:10:42,010
THE THING IS
274
00:10:42,093 --> 00:10:43,887
I REALIZED
I HAVE OTHER FEELINGS.
275
00:10:43,970 --> 00:10:45,555
WHAT KIND OF FEELINGS?
276
00:10:45,638 --> 00:10:46,806
HE DUMPED YOU?!
277
00:10:46,890 --> 00:10:48,558
ARNIE... DUMPED YOU?
278
00:10:48,641 --> 00:10:49,184
UH-HUH.
279
00:10:49,267 --> 00:10:50,977
YOU'RE KIDDING.
280
00:10:51,061 --> 00:10:52,979
NO, ARNOLD, I'M
EVER SO SERIOUS.
281
00:10:53,063 --> 00:10:54,022
ARNIE, YOU'RE
TALKING IN CIRCLES.
282
00:10:54,105 --> 00:10:55,190
SPIT IT OUT!
283
00:10:55,273 --> 00:10:57,692
WHAT ARE YOU
TRYING TO SAY?
284
00:10:57,776 --> 00:10:58,860
I LOVE YOU.
285
00:10:59,152 --> 00:11:01,571
EXCUSE ME?
286
00:11:01,654 --> 00:11:02,405
I'M REALLY SORRY, LILA.
287
00:11:02,489 --> 00:11:05,909
I'M SURE I JUST
DON'T UNDERSTAND IT.
288
00:11:05,992 --> 00:11:08,203
AFTER ALL, WE GOT
ALONG SO GREAT.
289
00:11:08,286 --> 00:11:10,246
WE HAD SO MUCH
FUN TOGETHER
290
00:11:10,330 --> 00:11:12,290
AND EVER SO MUCH IN COMMON.
291
00:11:12,374 --> 00:11:15,293
WELL, MAYBE HE JUST WASN'T
THAT OH, SO SPECIAL SOMEONE
292
00:11:15,377 --> 00:11:16,836
YOU'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR.
293
00:11:16,920 --> 00:11:18,254
YEAH, MAYBE.
294
00:11:18,338 --> 00:11:20,340
ANYWAY, ARNOLD,
THANK YOU EVER SO MUCH
295
00:11:20,423 --> 00:11:21,424
FOR COMFORTING ME.
296
00:11:21,508 --> 00:11:22,801
ANYTIME, LILA.
297
00:11:22,884 --> 00:11:24,844
NOW, COULD I ASK YOU A FAVOR?
298
00:11:24,928 --> 00:11:25,929
SURE, LILA.
299
00:11:26,012 --> 00:11:28,390
COULD YOU TAKE YOUR HAND
OFF MY SHOULDER?
300
00:11:28,473 --> 00:11:30,225
AS I'VE TOLD YOU
OVER AND OVER
301
00:11:30,308 --> 00:11:32,936
I DON'T
LIKE-YOU LIKE YOU
302
00:11:33,019 --> 00:11:35,063
I JUST LIKE YOU.
303
00:11:35,146 --> 00:11:37,190
I WANT US TO SHARE
EVERY WAKING MOMENT.
304
00:11:37,273 --> 00:11:38,942
LET ME TELL YOU
ABOUT MYSELF:
305
00:11:39,025 --> 00:11:41,194
I LIKE GUM AND I LIKE
COUNTING THINGS
306
00:11:41,277 --> 00:11:43,113
BUT MOST OF ALL,
I LIKE GUM.
307
00:11:43,196 --> 00:11:45,198
I ALSO LIKE READING
THE INGREDIENTS
ON FOOD PACKAGES.
308
00:11:45,281 --> 00:11:47,492
IT'S KIND OF MY HOBBY.
309
00:11:58,837 --> 00:12:01,297
Oskar:
SUZIE, MAKE ME A SANDWICH.
310
00:12:01,381 --> 00:12:02,632
IN A MINUTE, OSKAR.
311
00:12:02,715 --> 00:12:04,300
I'M IRONING
YOUR PANTS.
312
00:12:04,384 --> 00:12:06,386
WHY CAN'T YOU DO BOTH
AT THE SAME TIME?
313
00:12:06,469 --> 00:12:07,137
OH, OSKAR.
314
00:12:07,220 --> 00:12:07,429
WHAT?
315
00:12:07,512 --> 00:12:08,847
YOU KNOW
316
00:12:08,930 --> 00:12:09,347
HOW MUCH I HAVE TO DO.
317
00:12:09,431 --> 00:12:11,307
CAN'T YOU HELP OUT?
318
00:12:11,391 --> 00:12:12,809
MY COUSIN NANCY'S
COMING
319
00:12:12,892 --> 00:12:13,393
ANY MINUTE
WITH HER BABY.
320
00:12:13,476 --> 00:12:15,979
I JUST WANT A SANDWICH.
321
00:12:16,062 --> 00:12:17,230
WHEN NANCY GETS HERE
322
00:12:17,313 --> 00:12:18,648
I WANT TO KNOW
THAT I CAN COUNT
ON YOUR HELP.
323
00:12:18,731 --> 00:12:22,026
THE BABY WILL BE
A LOT OF WORK, YOU KNOW.
324
00:12:22,110 --> 00:12:23,945
COME ON, SUZIE,
MAKE ME A SANDWICH.
325
00:12:24,028 --> 00:12:24,279
( knock at door )
326
00:12:24,362 --> 00:12:26,614
HERE WE ARE.
327
00:12:26,698 --> 00:12:28,658
OOH, LOOK AT YOU, "PRECIOUMS."
328
00:12:28,741 --> 00:12:30,034
YOU'RE SUCH A BIG
BOY, AREN'T YOU?
329
00:12:30,118 --> 00:12:32,579
( gurgles )
330
00:12:32,662 --> 00:12:34,414
I'VE GOT EVERYTHING
YOU'LL NEED:
331
00:12:34,497 --> 00:12:35,957
TWO-DAY SUPPLY
OF DIAPERS
332
00:12:36,040 --> 00:12:37,876
PACIFIERS,
BABY WIPES
333
00:12:37,959 --> 00:12:39,878
BABY POWDER, BOTTLES
334
00:12:39,961 --> 00:12:42,630
AND OSKAR'S
FAVORITE RATTLE.
335
00:12:42,714 --> 00:12:43,381
SUZIE, WHERE'S MY SANDWICH?
336
00:12:43,465 --> 00:12:46,968
YOU KNOW, WE NAMED
BABY OSKAR
337
00:12:47,051 --> 00:12:50,263
BEFORE WE REALLY
KNEW YOUR OSKAR.
338
00:12:50,346 --> 00:12:52,348
WELL, I'LL SEE YOU
IN TWO DAYS.
339
00:12:52,432 --> 00:12:53,099
THANKS SO MUCH, SUZE.
340
00:12:53,183 --> 00:12:55,435
YOU'RE A LIFESAVER.
341
00:12:55,518 --> 00:12:56,519
IT'LL BE FUN
342
00:12:56,603 --> 00:12:59,272
HAVING A BABY AROUND
THE BOARDING HOUSE.
343
00:12:59,355 --> 00:13:02,150
YEAH, SURE, AS
LONG AS HE STAYS
OUT OF MY WAY.
344
00:13:02,233 --> 00:13:02,734
( giggling )
345
00:13:02,817 --> 00:13:04,694
( sweetly ):
OSKAR!
346
00:13:04,777 --> 00:13:06,863
OSKAR!
347
00:13:06,946 --> 00:13:07,697
WHAT?!
348
00:13:07,780 --> 00:13:09,032
I WAS TALKING TO THE BABY.
349
00:13:09,115 --> 00:13:09,532
( groans )
350
00:13:09,616 --> 00:13:11,367
SUZIE, I'M HUNGRY.
351
00:13:11,451 --> 00:13:12,785
MAKE ME A SANDWICH.
352
00:13:12,869 --> 00:13:14,621
I CAN'T-- I HAVE TO
BATHE THE BABY.
353
00:13:14,704 --> 00:13:16,873
WHAT FOR? IT'S NOT
GOING ANYPLACE.
354
00:13:16,956 --> 00:13:17,540
OH, OSKAR.
355
00:13:17,624 --> 00:13:18,458
WHAT?!
356
00:13:18,541 --> 00:13:19,876
ALL I WANT IS A SANDWICH.
357
00:13:19,959 --> 00:13:20,585
AS LONG AS
THE BABY IS HERE
358
00:13:20,668 --> 00:13:23,129
HE'S GOING TO HAVE
TO COME FIRST.
359
00:13:23,213 --> 00:13:24,631
BUT WHAT ABOUT ME?
360
00:13:25,381 --> 00:13:27,175
( groans )
361
00:13:27,258 --> 00:13:30,803
( playing saxophone )
362
00:13:30,887 --> 00:13:37,435
( baby crying )
363
00:13:39,354 --> 00:13:41,022
( toots loudly )
364
00:13:42,899 --> 00:13:43,942
( cries harder )
365
00:13:44,025 --> 00:13:44,192
OSKAR! PLEASE!
366
00:13:44,275 --> 00:13:45,902
WHAT?
367
00:13:45,985 --> 00:13:47,320
I HAVE TO PRACTICE.
368
00:13:47,403 --> 00:13:49,072
YOU'RE NOT ALONE IN THIS HOUSE.
369
00:13:49,155 --> 00:13:50,823
YOU ONLY THINK ABOUT YOURSELF.
370
00:13:50,907 --> 00:13:53,868
WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT?
371
00:13:53,952 --> 00:13:58,706
( baby crying )
372
00:13:59,624 --> 00:14:01,918
SUZIE, IT'S CRYING AGAIN.
373
00:14:02,001 --> 00:14:04,295
THEN PICK HIM UP
AND HOLD HIM FOR A MINUTE.
374
00:14:04,379 --> 00:14:06,422
I'M NOT GOING TO PICK IT UP,
IT SMELLS.
375
00:14:06,506 --> 00:14:07,215
HE PROBABLY NEEDS
376
00:14:07,298 --> 00:14:08,216
A NEW DIAPER.
377
00:14:08,299 --> 00:14:09,008
CAN YOU JUST...
378
00:14:09,092 --> 00:14:11,135
COME ON, SUZIE,
THAT'S DISGUSTING.
379
00:14:11,219 --> 00:14:13,221
THERE IS NOTHING
DISGUSTING ABOUT IT.
380
00:14:13,304 --> 00:14:13,763
IT'S PERFECTLY NATURAL.
381
00:14:13,846 --> 00:14:15,640
AND STOP CALLING HIM "IT."
382
00:14:15,723 --> 00:14:16,349
HE'S NOT AN "IT,"
HE'S A "HE"
383
00:14:16,432 --> 00:14:18,476
AND HIS NAME IS OSKAR.
384
00:14:18,560 --> 00:14:19,519
THAT'S ANOTHER THING--
HE TOOK MY NAME
385
00:14:19,602 --> 00:14:22,313
AND NOW EVERY TIME
YOU SAY, "OSKAR"
386
00:14:22,397 --> 00:14:23,606
I THINK YOU'RE
TALKING TO ME
387
00:14:23,690 --> 00:14:25,108
BUT IT'S ALWAYS
THAT LITTLE BRAT.
388
00:14:25,191 --> 00:14:29,237
( cooing )
389
00:14:29,320 --> 00:14:29,862
GET YOUR OWN!
390
00:14:32,240 --> 00:14:35,410
( Oskar snoring )
391
00:14:35,493 --> 00:14:37,495
( snoring )
392
00:14:39,038 --> 00:14:40,331
( shivering )
393
00:14:40,415 --> 00:14:43,960
( baby crying )
394
00:14:46,296 --> 00:14:53,011
( crying )
395
00:14:53,094 --> 00:14:54,846
OSKAR!
396
00:14:54,929 --> 00:14:57,473
( baby crying )
397
00:14:58,600 --> 00:15:00,143
SUZIE, WHERE'S
MY BREAKFAST?
398
00:15:00,226 --> 00:15:02,478
I'M SORRY, OSKAR, I'LL
GET IT IN A MINUTE.
399
00:15:02,562 --> 00:15:03,646
BUT I'M HUNGRY NOW.
400
00:15:03,730 --> 00:15:04,647
I'M FEEDING THE BABY
RIGHT NOW.
401
00:15:04,731 --> 00:15:07,025
WHY CAN'T YOU
FEED HIM LATER?
402
00:15:07,108 --> 00:15:08,067
I'M YOUR HUSBAND.
403
00:15:08,151 --> 00:15:09,861
YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO
TAKE CARE OF ME.
404
00:15:09,944 --> 00:15:11,779
OSKAR, PLEASE,
YOU'RE A GROWN MAN
405
00:15:11,863 --> 00:15:13,156
AND HE'S JUST A BABY.
406
00:15:13,239 --> 00:15:14,240
THAT'S HIS PROBLEM.
407
00:15:14,324 --> 00:15:15,950
JUST STOP BEING
SO RIDICULOUS.
408
00:15:16,034 --> 00:15:17,910
WHEN ARE YOU
GOING TO GROW UP?
409
00:15:17,994 --> 00:15:19,287
I'LL DO IT TOMORROW.
410
00:15:19,370 --> 00:15:21,956
TOMORROW! THAT'S ALL
I EVER HEAR FROM YOU.
411
00:15:22,040 --> 00:15:22,498
TOMORROW'S A GOOD DAY.
412
00:15:22,582 --> 00:15:24,626
SURE IT'S
A GOOD DAY
413
00:15:24,709 --> 00:15:25,501
FOR YOU.
414
00:15:25,585 --> 00:15:27,128
TOMORROW'S A GRAND
DAY FOR YOU
415
00:15:27,211 --> 00:15:28,338
BECAUSE TOMORROW'S
THE DAY
416
00:15:28,421 --> 00:15:29,631
YOU'LL GET A GOOD JOB
417
00:15:29,714 --> 00:15:30,506
YOU'LL PAY THE BILLS.
418
00:15:30,590 --> 00:15:31,674
AND YOU'LL
GROW UP
419
00:15:31,758 --> 00:15:34,344
AND START ACTING
RESPONSIBLE.
420
00:15:34,427 --> 00:15:36,929
BUT TOMORROW
NEVER COMES FOR YOU,
DOES IT, OSKAR
421
00:15:37,013 --> 00:15:39,807
BECAUSE IT'S ALWAYS
SO CONVENIENTLY
A DAY AWAY.
422
00:15:39,891 --> 00:15:41,517
RIGHT, IT'S ALWAYS A DAY AWAY
423
00:15:41,601 --> 00:15:43,478
JUST LIKE THAT SONG
THE LITTLE ORPHAN GIRL SINGS.
424
00:15:43,561 --> 00:15:46,189
WHAT ABOUT TODAY, OSKAR?
425
00:15:46,272 --> 00:15:48,149
AND WHAT ABOUT YESTERDAY?
426
00:15:48,232 --> 00:15:49,317
WHEN I NEEDED
YOUR HELP
427
00:15:49,400 --> 00:15:50,902
YOU JUST LOAFED
AROUND THE HOUSE.
428
00:15:50,985 --> 00:15:52,528
WHEN I WAS TRYING
TO TAKE CARE OF
THE CLEANING
429
00:15:52,612 --> 00:15:54,697
AND THE BILLS
AND THE BABY
430
00:15:54,781 --> 00:15:56,866
YOU ASKED ME TO MAKE
YOU A SANDWICH.
431
00:15:56,949 --> 00:15:57,992
AND YOU NEVER DID.
432
00:15:58,076 --> 00:15:59,202
BECAUSE I WAS BUSY!
433
00:15:59,285 --> 00:16:01,663
YOU EXPECT EVERYONE
ELSE TO TAKE CARE OF YOU.
434
00:16:01,746 --> 00:16:03,289
OH, COME ON,
I DON'T EXPECT
435
00:16:03,373 --> 00:16:05,124
EVERYONE ELSE TO
TAKE CARE OF ME--
436
00:16:05,208 --> 00:16:06,334
JUST YOU.
437
00:16:06,417 --> 00:16:06,834
OH, OSKAR!
438
00:16:06,918 --> 00:16:08,044
( phone rings )
439
00:16:08,961 --> 00:16:09,837
HELLO?
440
00:16:09,921 --> 00:16:12,924
OH, MR. BUDNICK,
HELLO!
441
00:16:13,007 --> 00:16:14,384
RIGHT NOW?
442
00:16:14,467 --> 00:16:14,884
WELL, INVENTORY?
443
00:16:14,967 --> 00:16:16,678
YES, BUT I HAVE TO...
444
00:16:16,761 --> 00:16:18,054
TIME AND A HALF?
445
00:16:18,137 --> 00:16:20,390
WELL... I'LL BE THERE
IN 20 MINUTES.
446
00:16:20,473 --> 00:16:21,307
OSKAR?
447
00:16:21,391 --> 00:16:23,768
OH, ARE YOU
TALKING TO ME
OR THAT RUGRAT?
448
00:16:23,851 --> 00:16:25,311
NOW, LISTEN TO ME CAREFULLY.
449
00:16:25,395 --> 00:16:27,146
I HAVE TO GO TO WORK
FOR A FEW HOURS.
450
00:16:27,230 --> 00:16:28,940
I WOULD HAVE SAID NO,
BUT WE REALLY NEED THE MONEY
451
00:16:29,023 --> 00:16:32,610
SO YOU'RE GOING
TO HAVE TO TAKE
CARE OF THE BABY.
452
00:16:32,694 --> 00:16:33,569
COME ON, SUZIE.
453
00:16:33,653 --> 00:16:35,446
CAN'T YOU TAKE IT
TO WORK?
454
00:16:35,530 --> 00:16:36,155
I CAN'T TAKE A BABY
455
00:16:36,239 --> 00:16:37,573
TO THE DEPARTMENT
STORE WITH ME.
456
00:16:37,657 --> 00:16:39,867
IT'S ONLY
FOR A FEW HOURS.
457
00:16:39,951 --> 00:16:41,911
HE'LL PROBABLY
SLEEP MOST
OF THE TIME.
458
00:16:41,994 --> 00:16:43,913
NANCY'S INSTRUCTIONS
ARE ON THE TABLE
459
00:16:43,996 --> 00:16:45,123
AND YOU CAN CALL ME.
460
00:16:45,206 --> 00:16:45,748
BUT, SUZIE...
461
00:16:45,832 --> 00:16:48,000
JUST DO THIS
FOR ME, PLEASE.
462
00:16:48,084 --> 00:16:49,794
( baby vomits )
463
00:16:49,877 --> 00:16:51,713
SUZIE!
464
00:16:51,796 --> 00:16:52,755
HEY, MR. KOKOSHKA.
465
00:16:52,839 --> 00:16:53,464
OH, ARNOLD.
466
00:16:53,548 --> 00:16:54,924
HOW'S MY LITTLE BUDDY?
467
00:16:55,007 --> 00:16:56,759
( chuckles )
468
00:16:56,843 --> 00:16:57,969
Arnold:
THE THING IS
469
00:16:58,052 --> 00:17:00,555
I HAVE TO GO TO THE
SCIENCE FAIR TONIGHT.
470
00:17:00,638 --> 00:17:03,474
BUT, ARNOLD, I DON'T
KNOW ANYTHING
ABOUT BABIES.
471
00:17:03,558 --> 00:17:05,560
AND SUZIE LEFT ME
ALL ALONE WITH IT.
472
00:17:05,643 --> 00:17:07,270
PLEASE HELP ME.
473
00:17:07,353 --> 00:17:08,438
( gurgling )
474
00:17:17,864 --> 00:17:20,742
Man:
HELLO, OSKAR, YOU OLD GOAT.
475
00:17:20,825 --> 00:17:22,577
Man 2:
READY TO PLAY CARDS?
476
00:17:22,660 --> 00:17:23,786
( laughs )
477
00:17:23,870 --> 00:17:24,579
MR. KOKOSHKA,
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
478
00:17:24,662 --> 00:17:26,622
IT'S MY DAILY
CARD GAME.
479
00:17:26,706 --> 00:17:28,791
BUT WHAT ABOUT THE BABY?
480
00:17:28,875 --> 00:17:31,169
OH, DON'T WORRY,
IT WON'T BOTHER US.
481
00:17:31,252 --> 00:17:33,755
Oskar:
OKAY, WHO'S READY
TO LOSE SOME MONEY?
482
00:17:33,838 --> 00:17:35,506
THAT'S 20
TO YOU, OSKAR.
483
00:17:35,590 --> 00:17:38,718
OKAY, I SEE YOUR 20...
484
00:17:38,801 --> 00:17:40,094
AND I RAISE YOU 30 MORE.
485
00:17:40,178 --> 00:17:42,472
BUT, OSKAR,
YOU DON'T HAVE
ENOUGH CHIPS HERE.
486
00:17:42,555 --> 00:17:44,307
Oskar:
NO PROBLEM.
487
00:17:44,390 --> 00:17:45,308
I BET THE BABY.
488
00:17:45,391 --> 00:17:45,850
MR. KOKOSHKA!
489
00:17:45,933 --> 00:17:48,227
YOU CAN'T BET THE BABY.
490
00:17:48,311 --> 00:17:49,437
CAN HE?
491
00:17:49,520 --> 00:17:50,605
WHY CAN'T I?
492
00:17:50,688 --> 00:17:52,523
IT'S GOT TO BE WORTH SOMETHING.
493
00:17:52,607 --> 00:17:53,608
YOU CAN SELL IT TO AN ORPHANAGE.
494
00:17:53,691 --> 00:17:55,151
THAT'S IT, I'VE HAD IT.
495
00:17:55,234 --> 00:17:59,864
I CAN'T PLAY POKER WITH A BABY
CRYING AND FUSSING ALL THE TIME.
496
00:17:59,947 --> 00:18:00,531
YEAH, AND IT
SMELLS-- P.U.!
497
00:18:00,615 --> 00:18:01,616
WE'LL SEE YOU.
498
00:18:01,699 --> 00:18:03,659
OH, COME ON, GUYS
499
00:18:03,743 --> 00:18:05,870
I CAN PUT THE BABY
IN THE HALLWAY.
500
00:18:05,953 --> 00:18:06,621
JUST A FEW MORE HANDS.
501
00:18:06,704 --> 00:18:10,583
( baby crying )
502
00:18:10,666 --> 00:18:12,293
A ROYAL FLUSH!
503
00:18:12,376 --> 00:18:13,336
ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?
504
00:18:13,419 --> 00:18:15,755
( screams )
505
00:18:19,675 --> 00:18:21,385
WE HAVE TO DO IT,
MR. KOKOSHKA.
506
00:18:21,469 --> 00:18:24,138
IF WE DON'T,
HE'S JUST GOING
TO KEEP CRYING.
507
00:18:26,265 --> 00:18:28,976
( diaper tape opens )
508
00:18:29,060 --> 00:18:29,685
( Oskar crashes to floor )
509
00:18:29,769 --> 00:18:31,395
( baby pooping )
510
00:18:31,479 --> 00:18:33,397
( swoons )
511
00:18:33,481 --> 00:18:34,023
( baby crying )
512
00:18:34,106 --> 00:18:36,734
Oskar:
I WOULD HAVE HELPED
513
00:18:36,818 --> 00:18:38,152
BUT I WAS STILL DIZZY.
514
00:18:38,236 --> 00:18:39,737
IT WAS HORRIBLE,
WASN'T IT?
515
00:18:39,821 --> 00:18:41,072
LOOK, IT'S
ALMOST 7:00.
516
00:18:41,155 --> 00:18:42,365
I REALLY HAVE TO GO.
517
00:18:42,448 --> 00:18:43,574
BUT, ARNOLD, PLEASE.
518
00:18:43,658 --> 00:18:46,035
HOW CAN YOU JUST
ABANDON THE BABY
LIKE THIS?
519
00:18:46,119 --> 00:18:46,786
I HAVE TO GO,
MR. KOKOSHKA.
520
00:18:46,869 --> 00:18:49,455
I CAN'T MISS
THE SCIENCE FAIR.
521
00:18:49,539 --> 00:18:51,249
AND BESIDES
522
00:18:51,332 --> 00:18:52,959
HE'S YOUR
RESPONSIBILITY.
523
00:18:53,042 --> 00:18:55,044
BUT, ARNOLD, I CAN'T BE
ALONE WITH IT.
524
00:18:55,128 --> 00:18:57,588
I DON'T EVEN KNOW
HOW TO TAKE CARE OF A BABY.
525
00:18:57,672 --> 00:18:59,340
SUZIE SHOULD BE HOME SOON.
526
00:19:09,809 --> 00:19:11,561
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?
527
00:19:11,644 --> 00:19:14,856
WHY DON'T YOU
SAY SOMETHING?
528
00:19:14,939 --> 00:19:16,065
YOU CAN'T
DO ANYTHING.
529
00:19:16,148 --> 00:19:17,984
EVERYONE TAKES
CARE OF YOU.
530
00:19:18,067 --> 00:19:19,735
WHAT ARE YOU GOOD
FOR? NOTHING.
531
00:19:19,819 --> 00:19:21,237
WHAT CAN YOU DO?
NOTHING.
532
00:19:21,320 --> 00:19:22,905
JUST CRY AND WHINE
AND MOAN
533
00:19:22,989 --> 00:19:25,491
AND MAKE A MESS FOR
OTHER PEOPLE TO CLEAN UP.
534
00:19:25,575 --> 00:19:26,367
YOU THINK THAT'S FUNNY?
535
00:19:26,450 --> 00:19:29,245
MAYBE IT'S FUNNY FOR YOU,
BUT NOT FOR ME
536
00:19:29,328 --> 00:19:30,246
BECAUSE I HAVE TO
TAKE CARE OF YOU.
537
00:19:35,209 --> 00:19:36,460
( giggles )
538
00:19:36,544 --> 00:19:37,753
OKAY, YOU BLEW A BUBBLE.
539
00:19:37,837 --> 00:19:39,463
YOU THINK THAT'S FUNNY?
540
00:19:39,547 --> 00:19:41,215
( laughs )
541
00:19:41,299 --> 00:19:43,259
OKAY, SO MAYBE IT'S
A LITTLE FUNNY.
542
00:19:43,342 --> 00:19:44,969
BUT I STILL DON'T LIKE YOU.
543
00:19:45,678 --> 00:19:47,597
HEY, LET GO.
544
00:19:47,680 --> 00:19:48,598
YOU GOT A PRETTY STRONG GRIP.
545
00:19:48,681 --> 00:19:50,808
( giggling )
546
00:19:50,892 --> 00:19:52,768
OH, YOU THINK
THAT'S FUNNY, TOO, HUH?
547
00:19:52,852 --> 00:19:53,811
( laughs )
548
00:19:53,895 --> 00:19:55,396
( giggles )
549
00:19:55,479 --> 00:19:56,647
SO, WHAT DO YOU THINK?
550
00:19:56,731 --> 00:19:58,733
YOU LIKE CAT CHOW
IN THE FIFTH RACE?
551
00:20:00,359 --> 00:20:04,071
OKAY, WE PUT TEN DOLLARS
TO WIN ON CAT CHOW.
552
00:20:04,155 --> 00:20:05,281
HEY, WHAT'S WRONG?
553
00:20:05,364 --> 00:20:06,741
ARE YOU HUNGRY AGAIN?
554
00:20:09,952 --> 00:20:12,205
YOU DON'T
LOOK SO GOOD.
555
00:20:12,288 --> 00:20:13,915
( hiccuping )
556
00:20:13,998 --> 00:20:14,624
STOP... STOP MAKING THAT NOISE.
557
00:20:14,707 --> 00:20:15,750
YOU'RE SCARING ME.
558
00:20:15,833 --> 00:20:17,627
( hiccups )
559
00:20:22,465 --> 00:20:24,717
WHERE IS EVERYBODY?!
560
00:20:30,514 --> 00:20:31,307
Oskar:
TAXI!
561
00:20:31,390 --> 00:20:32,350
THE BINGO TENT...
562
00:20:32,433 --> 00:20:32,892
OUT OF MY WAY!
563
00:20:32,975 --> 00:20:35,353
TO THE HOSPITAL-- HURRY!
564
00:20:35,436 --> 00:20:37,021
( groans )
565
00:20:37,104 --> 00:20:39,482
( car horns honking )
566
00:20:39,565 --> 00:20:40,608
Oskar:
OH, GREAT.
567
00:20:40,691 --> 00:20:43,402
WHY DOES THE POPE HAVE
TO BE IN TOWN TODAY?
568
00:20:43,486 --> 00:20:44,695
WE'LL BE HERE
FOREVER.
569
00:20:44,779 --> 00:20:47,156
( baby hiccuping )
570
00:20:47,239 --> 00:20:48,616
HEY, COME BACK HERE!
571
00:20:55,164 --> 00:20:56,207
WAIT!
572
00:20:57,291 --> 00:20:58,167
( hiccups )
573
00:21:04,757 --> 00:21:06,342
( panting )
574
00:21:11,013 --> 00:21:12,807
THIS HORRIBLE
CZECHOSLOVAKIAN MAN...
575
00:21:12,890 --> 00:21:13,808
( smack )
576
00:21:13,891 --> 00:21:14,266
MY BABY'S SICK.
577
00:21:16,936 --> 00:21:18,938
( Oskar groans )
578
00:21:19,021 --> 00:21:22,024
IF ONLY I TOOK
BETTER CARE OF HIM.
579
00:21:22,108 --> 00:21:24,151
IF ONLY I WAS MORE CAREFUL.
580
00:21:24,235 --> 00:21:25,945
BUT I MADE HIM SICK.
581
00:21:26,028 --> 00:21:27,446
IT'S ALL MY FAULT.
582
00:21:27,530 --> 00:21:28,072
I WAS RESPONSIBLE.
583
00:21:28,155 --> 00:21:31,033
PLEASE LET HIM BE ALL RIGHT.
584
00:21:31,117 --> 00:21:34,453
IF YOU MAKE HIM ALL RIGHT,
I PROMISE FROM THIS DAY
585
00:21:34,537 --> 00:21:38,040
I'LL ONLY GO TO THE RACE TRACK
TWO DAYS A WEEK.
586
00:21:38,124 --> 00:21:41,377
OH, AND I'M SORRY
WHAT I SAID ABOUT THE POPE.
587
00:21:41,460 --> 00:21:42,128
YOU...
588
00:21:42,211 --> 00:21:44,463
( crash )
589
00:21:44,547 --> 00:21:45,881
Man:
MR. KOKOSHKA?
590
00:21:45,965 --> 00:21:47,299
MR. KOKOSHKA?
591
00:21:49,260 --> 00:21:50,761
BABY OSKAR IS OKAY?
592
00:21:50,845 --> 00:21:52,555
A-OKAY.
593
00:21:52,638 --> 00:21:55,391
HE HAD A MINOR CASE
OF THE HICCUPS.
594
00:21:55,474 --> 00:21:56,559
THE HICCUPS?
595
00:21:56,642 --> 00:21:57,560
BABY OSKAR.
596
00:21:57,643 --> 00:21:59,603
( laughs )
597
00:21:59,687 --> 00:22:01,063
Nancy:
THANKS SO MUCH, SUZIE.
598
00:22:01,147 --> 00:22:02,648
I HOPE HE WASN'T
TOO MUCH TROUBLE.
599
00:22:02,732 --> 00:22:03,899
NOT AT ALL.
600
00:22:03,983 --> 00:22:06,068
OSKAR AND I JUST
LOVED HAVING HIM.
601
00:22:06,152 --> 00:22:07,069
DIDN'T WE?
602
00:22:07,153 --> 00:22:07,987
EH!
603
00:22:08,070 --> 00:22:10,031
CAN YOU SAY
GOOD-BYE?
604
00:22:10,114 --> 00:22:11,032
SAY BYE-BYE.
605
00:22:11,115 --> 00:22:13,034
SAY BYE-BYE.
606
00:22:13,117 --> 00:22:13,617
GO ON.
607
00:22:13,701 --> 00:22:15,661
WHAT IS IT, BABY?
608
00:22:15,745 --> 00:22:16,912
WHAT DO
YOU WANT?
609
00:22:16,996 --> 00:22:18,873
OH... OH, MY!
610
00:22:18,956 --> 00:22:21,167
I THINK HE LIKES YOU.
611
00:22:23,127 --> 00:22:26,255
I THINK OSKAR LIKES
THE BABY, TOO, DON'T YOU?
612
00:22:26,338 --> 00:22:27,882
EH, HE'S OKAY.
613
00:22:27,965 --> 00:22:30,342
THANKS AGAIN FOR EVERYTHING.
614
00:22:32,887 --> 00:22:34,597
OH, OSKAR.
615
00:22:34,680 --> 00:22:35,681
WHAT?
616
00:22:35,765 --> 00:22:36,515
I LOVE YOU.
617
00:22:36,599 --> 00:22:39,810
IF YOU LOVE ME,
THEN MAKE ME A SANDWICH.
618
00:22:39,894 --> 00:22:41,979
OH, OSKAR!
619
00:22:49,695 --> 00:22:53,449
[Captioning sponsored by THE
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
620
00:22:53,532 --> 00:22:55,910
and NICKELODEON
40838
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