All language subtitles for Hey Arnold S04E05 - Beeper Queen - Oscar Cant Read (1080p)

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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,829 --> 00:00:02,746 Helga: ARNOLD! 2 00:00:02,830 --> 00:00:04,331 ( barking ) 3 00:00:05,332 --> 00:00:05,916 HEY, ARNOLD! 4 00:00:11,505 --> 00:00:13,048 ( glass shatters ) 5 00:00:16,593 --> 00:00:17,553 ( girl shrieks ) 6 00:00:17,636 --> 00:00:20,431 Helga: HEY, ARNOLD! 7 00:00:21,306 --> 00:00:23,559 ARNOLD! 8 00:00:24,351 --> 00:00:26,395 ARNOLD! 9 00:00:26,687 --> 00:00:29,606 ARNOLD! 10 00:00:29,690 --> 00:00:32,359 [Captioning sponsored by THE U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION 11 00:00:32,443 --> 00:00:35,863 and NICKELODEON] 12 00:00:37,364 --> 00:00:39,032 AR-NOLD! 13 00:00:39,658 --> 00:00:41,660 MOVE IT, FOOTBALL HEAD! 14 00:00:41,744 --> 00:00:42,035 Kids: HEY, ARNOLD! 15 00:00:49,001 --> 00:00:51,503 ( police siren wails in distance ) 16 00:00:51,587 --> 00:00:52,379 ( woman grunts ) 17 00:00:52,463 --> 00:00:55,924 ALMOST GOT IT. 18 00:00:56,008 --> 00:00:56,467 ANOTHER LITTLE INCH. 19 00:00:56,550 --> 00:00:59,136 OH, SUGAR! 20 00:00:59,219 --> 00:01:01,680 NOW IT ROLLED ALL THE WAY IN THE BACK. 21 00:01:01,764 --> 00:01:03,557 HONEY, COULD YOU GIVE ME A HAND UP HERE? 22 00:01:03,640 --> 00:01:06,643 NO, MIRIAM, I CAN'T. 23 00:01:06,727 --> 00:01:07,394 I'M BUSY MAKING MY LUNCH. 24 00:01:07,478 --> 00:01:09,813 WHY, HELGA? IT'S NOT LUNCHTIME. 25 00:01:09,897 --> 00:01:13,734 IT'S TOMORROW'S LUNCH, AND IF I DON'T MAKE IT 26 00:01:13,817 --> 00:01:15,486 NO ONE ELSE IS GOING TO MAKE IT FOR ME. 27 00:01:15,569 --> 00:01:17,279 OH, OH, OH! 28 00:01:18,822 --> 00:01:19,656 CRIMINY! WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH YOU? 29 00:01:19,740 --> 00:01:23,452 CAN'T YOU DO ANYTHING RIGHT? 30 00:01:23,535 --> 00:01:25,162 HEY, WHAT'S ALL THE RACKET? 31 00:01:25,245 --> 00:01:26,747 MIRIAM WAS TRYING TO GET HER TABASCO 32 00:01:26,830 --> 00:01:30,000 AND SHE KNOCKED A SHELF DOWN. AGAIN. 33 00:01:30,083 --> 00:01:32,002 CRIPES, MIRIAM, HOW MANY TIMES 34 00:01:32,085 --> 00:01:35,172 HAVE I TOLD YOU NOT TO PUT IT UP SO DARN HIGH? 35 00:01:35,255 --> 00:01:38,675 NOW MOVE ASIDE AND LET A MAN SHOW YOU HOW IT'S DONE. 36 00:01:38,759 --> 00:01:41,136 ( bones crunch ) AW! MY BACK! 37 00:01:42,638 --> 00:01:43,680 B., ARE YOU OKAY? 38 00:01:43,764 --> 00:01:45,182 WANT A DOCTOR, DAD? 39 00:01:45,265 --> 00:01:47,184 NO WAY, PATAKIS ARE FAST HEALERS. 40 00:01:47,267 --> 00:01:49,520 I'LL BE GOOD AS NEW IN A WEEK OR TWO. 41 00:01:49,603 --> 00:01:50,687 ARE YOU KIDDING? 42 00:01:50,771 --> 00:01:52,773 YOU CAN'T STAY HOME THAT LONG. 43 00:01:52,856 --> 00:01:54,983 YOU'VE GOT A BEEPER EMPIRE TO RUN. 44 00:01:55,067 --> 00:01:58,111 RELAX, I CAN RUN THE BEEPER EMPIRE FROM THE COUCH. 45 00:01:58,195 --> 00:02:02,407 IT'S NOT LIKE I'VE GOT ANY BIG MEETINGS COMING UP. 46 00:02:02,491 --> 00:02:04,201 CRIMINY, I TOTALLY FORGOT! 47 00:02:04,284 --> 00:02:07,704 BUBNIAK AND KRAPOWSKI ARE FLYING IN FROM BUFFALO 48 00:02:07,788 --> 00:02:08,831 TO CLOSE A MAJOR DEAL! 49 00:02:08,914 --> 00:02:11,041 I HAVE TO GET SOMEONE TO TAKE MY PLACE. 50 00:02:11,125 --> 00:02:11,125 HELGA, WHAT ARE YOU DOING TOMORROW? 51 00:02:11,125 --> 00:02:14,670 SCHOOL. 52 00:02:14,753 --> 00:02:16,713 RIGHT. COME ON, BOB, THINK. 53 00:02:16,797 --> 00:02:18,048 WHO COULD YOU SEND? 54 00:02:18,131 --> 00:02:20,509 WELL, I'M, I'M FREE TOMORROW, B. 55 00:02:21,802 --> 00:02:22,719 YOU? 56 00:02:22,803 --> 00:02:24,137 GO TO THE MEETING? 57 00:02:24,221 --> 00:02:27,558 THAT HAS TO BE THE STUPIDEST IDEA I'VE EVER HEARD. 58 00:02:27,641 --> 00:02:29,768 RIGHT, THESE GUYS ARE HEAVY HITTERS, SHARKS-- 59 00:02:29,852 --> 00:02:32,062 THEY'D EAT YOU ALIVE. 60 00:02:32,145 --> 00:02:34,398 LISTEN, YOU TWO, I THINK YOU OUGHT TO GIVE ME 61 00:02:34,481 --> 00:02:36,567 A LITTLE MORE CREDIT 62 00:02:36,650 --> 00:02:37,985 BECAUSE, BECAUSE I CAN DO THIS. 63 00:02:38,068 --> 00:02:42,072 I CAN TAKE A MEETING AS GOOD AS THE NEXT GUY. 64 00:02:42,155 --> 00:02:44,408 FORGET IT, IT AIN'T GOING TO HAPPEN. 65 00:02:44,491 --> 00:02:47,244 BESIDES, MY BACK'S STARTING TO FEEL BETTER. 66 00:02:47,327 --> 00:02:48,912 ( bones pop, he screams ) 67 00:02:48,996 --> 00:02:50,080 MOTHER SCRATCHER! 68 00:02:50,163 --> 00:02:50,706 ALL RIGHT, YOU WIN. 69 00:02:50,789 --> 00:02:52,666 YOU CAN GO TO THE MEETING. 70 00:02:52,749 --> 00:02:55,252 YOU BETTER NOT SCREW THIS UP. 71 00:02:55,335 --> 00:02:57,629 YOU JUST GET THEM TO SIGN THE PAPERS 72 00:02:57,713 --> 00:02:59,631 THEN IT'S STRAIGHT HOME, GOT IT? 73 00:02:59,715 --> 00:03:00,674 OF COURSE, B. 74 00:03:00,757 --> 00:03:01,967 STRAIGHT HOME. 75 00:03:02,050 --> 00:03:05,220 Bob: WHERE THE HECK COULD SHE BE? 76 00:03:05,304 --> 00:03:08,307 THAT MEETING SHOULD HAVE ENDED HOURS AGO. 77 00:03:08,390 --> 00:03:09,141 DON'T LOOK AT ME. 78 00:03:09,224 --> 00:03:11,685 I TOLD YOU IT WAS DUMB TO LET HER GO. 79 00:03:11,768 --> 00:03:12,811 B., HELGA, I'M HOME! 80 00:03:12,895 --> 00:03:15,856 FINALLY! GET YOUR PATOOT IN HERE 81 00:03:15,939 --> 00:03:17,649 AND TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED BEFORE I EXPLODE! 82 00:03:17,733 --> 00:03:20,277 WELL, LET'S SEE... 83 00:03:20,360 --> 00:03:22,112 FIRST WE SHARED A NICE LUNCH 84 00:03:22,195 --> 00:03:22,863 OF PIZZA AND WINGS. 85 00:03:22,946 --> 00:03:26,450 THEN WE WENT TO THE PASTRY PALACE 86 00:03:26,533 --> 00:03:29,244 FOR COFFEE AND, OH, THOSE YUMMY LITTLE 87 00:03:29,328 --> 00:03:32,331 DONUT HOLE THINGIES THAT I LOVE. 88 00:03:32,414 --> 00:03:32,956 FASTER, MIRIAM! 89 00:03:33,040 --> 00:03:33,874 RIGHT, OKAY, THEN I GUESS 90 00:03:33,957 --> 00:03:36,084 JIM AND HANK SIGNED THE PAPERS 91 00:03:36,168 --> 00:03:38,503 AND TRIPLED THEIR ORDER OF BEEPERS. 92 00:03:38,587 --> 00:03:40,380 WASN'T THAT SWEET OF THEM? 93 00:03:40,464 --> 00:03:41,798 TRIPLED THEIR ORDER? 94 00:03:41,882 --> 00:03:44,384 YOU DIDN'T LOWER THE PRICE? 95 00:03:44,468 --> 00:03:46,720 OF COURSE NOT, B., I JUST EXPLAINED 96 00:03:46,803 --> 00:03:47,846 THE BENEFIT OF BUYING IN BULK. 97 00:03:47,930 --> 00:03:51,099 WOW, MOM, THAT'S, THAT'S INCREDIBLE! 98 00:03:51,183 --> 00:03:53,226 I KNOW, AND IT'S NOT EVEN THE BEST PART. 99 00:03:53,310 --> 00:03:54,978 IT'S NOT? 100 00:03:55,062 --> 00:03:56,605 UH-UH, THE GUYS DECIDED 101 00:03:56,688 --> 00:03:58,857 TO STAY IN TOWN AN EXTRA DAY 102 00:03:58,941 --> 00:04:01,360 TO LOOK AT OUR SELECTION OF CELL PHONES. 103 00:04:01,443 --> 00:04:03,862 I'M MEETING THEM AT THE STORE TOMORROW. 104 00:04:03,946 --> 00:04:04,237 THAT'S GREAT, MOM! 105 00:04:04,321 --> 00:04:05,405 YEAH, GREAT. 106 00:04:07,699 --> 00:04:10,827 HELGA, GET OVER HERE AND SCRATCH MY FOOT, WOULD YOU? 107 00:04:10,911 --> 00:04:13,205 MORNING, EVERYBODY. 108 00:04:14,957 --> 00:04:18,168 MIRIAM? WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU? 109 00:04:18,251 --> 00:04:21,421 I JUST I WANTED TO LOOK MORE PROFESSIONAL. 110 00:04:21,505 --> 00:04:25,050 YOU KNOW, FOR MY MEETING WITH THE BUFFALO GUYS. 111 00:04:25,133 --> 00:04:28,011 COME ON, HONEY, I'LL GIVE YOU A LIFT TO SCHOOL. 112 00:04:28,095 --> 00:04:30,055 MIRIAM, WAIT A MINUTE. MIRIAM! 113 00:04:30,138 --> 00:04:32,933 HOW BAD COULD SHE MESS THINGS UP ANYWAY? 114 00:04:33,016 --> 00:04:35,727 LOOK AT THIS, TALK SHOWS AND SOAP OPERAS 115 00:04:35,811 --> 00:04:38,522 ON EVERY STINKING CHANNEL. 116 00:04:38,605 --> 00:04:41,441 BE A COLD DAY IN HAVANA BEFORE I WATCH ANY OF THIS JUNK. 117 00:04:41,525 --> 00:04:42,526 Helga: BYE! 118 00:04:42,609 --> 00:04:44,736 THANKS FOR THE RIDE. 119 00:04:44,820 --> 00:04:45,779 HEY, HELGA, WAS THAT YOUR MOM? 120 00:04:45,862 --> 00:04:48,198 ARNOLDO, IT WAS. 121 00:04:48,281 --> 00:04:49,950 WHEN DID SHE GET HER LICENSE BACK? 122 00:04:50,033 --> 00:04:53,203 SHE HASN'T, BUT SHE HAS TO GET TO WORK. 123 00:04:53,287 --> 00:04:55,747 SHE'S FILLING IN FOR DAD AT THE BEEPER EMPORIUM. 124 00:04:55,831 --> 00:04:58,417 PRETTY BOSS, HUH? 125 00:05:00,002 --> 00:05:03,505 ( men chattering in distance... ) 126 00:05:05,924 --> 00:05:07,426 ( phone rings ) 127 00:05:07,509 --> 00:05:07,926 UH... 128 00:05:08,010 --> 00:05:11,722 ( phone ringing ) 129 00:05:11,805 --> 00:05:13,265 BIG BOB'S BEEPERS. 130 00:05:13,348 --> 00:05:17,185 NO, BOB ISN'T HERE, BUT I WOULD BE HAPPY TO HELP YOU. 131 00:05:19,312 --> 00:05:21,231 WOW, THAT'S QUITE A SPREAD. 132 00:05:21,314 --> 00:05:23,275 ALL THE FOOD GROUPS ARE REPRESENTED. 133 00:05:23,358 --> 00:05:24,359 YEAH. CAN YOU BELIEVE MIRIAM MADE IT? 134 00:05:27,904 --> 00:05:28,739 DAD, IS MIRIAM HOME YET? 135 00:05:28,822 --> 00:05:31,241 NO, COLDON, DON'T KISS HER! 136 00:05:31,324 --> 00:05:31,908 SHE'S MEG'S IDENTICAL TWIN SISTER! 137 00:05:31,992 --> 00:05:31,992 NEVER MIND. 138 00:05:31,992 --> 00:05:34,040 ( kissing ) 139 00:05:34,040 --> 00:05:34,040 NEVER MIND. 140 00:05:34,040 --> 00:05:34,578 ( kissing ) 141 00:05:34,661 --> 00:05:36,371 MOM, YOU HOME? 142 00:05:36,455 --> 00:05:36,872 MOM! 143 00:05:36,955 --> 00:05:39,124 OH, YOU KISSED HER! 144 00:05:39,207 --> 00:05:42,252 NOW THE WEDDING WILL BE COMPLETELY RUINED. 145 00:05:42,961 --> 00:05:46,006 HEY THERE, LITTLE LADY. 146 00:05:46,089 --> 00:05:48,425 HEY, MOM, HOW WAS WORK TODAY? 147 00:05:48,508 --> 00:05:49,634 OH, HONEY, IT WAS INCREDIBLE. 148 00:05:49,718 --> 00:05:50,635 YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN ME. 149 00:05:50,719 --> 00:05:55,182 I WAS ANSWERING PHONES, I WAS DOING PAPERWORK. 150 00:05:55,265 --> 00:05:58,268 I EVEN SOLD SOME CELL PHONES TO JIM AND HANK. 151 00:05:58,351 --> 00:06:01,354 I SWEAR, HELGA, BEING AT THE OFFICE 152 00:06:01,438 --> 00:06:03,982 MAKES ME FEEL LIKE A WHOLE NEW PERSON. 153 00:06:04,066 --> 00:06:06,985 IN FACT, I HAVE DECIDED TO GO BACK EVERY DAY. 154 00:06:07,069 --> 00:06:08,111 SOUNDS GREAT. 155 00:06:08,195 --> 00:06:08,987 OH, IT IS, HONEY, IT'S JUST WONDERFUL. 156 00:06:09,071 --> 00:06:11,865 I'M TELLING YOU... ( sighs ) 157 00:06:11,948 --> 00:06:14,034 I HAVEN'T BEEN THIS HAPPY IN YEARS. 158 00:06:14,117 --> 00:06:17,454 GUESS I'D BETTER GO DO MY HOMEWORK 159 00:06:17,537 --> 00:06:19,081 AND LET YOU GET BACK TO IT. 160 00:06:19,164 --> 00:06:21,208 WHY DON'T YOU DO YOUR HOMEWORK 161 00:06:21,291 --> 00:06:22,834 IN HERE WITH ME? 162 00:06:22,918 --> 00:06:23,668 OKAY, I'LL GO GET MY STUFF! 163 00:06:23,752 --> 00:06:25,545 OKAY! 164 00:06:51,571 --> 00:06:52,864 Miriam: UH-UH, UH-UH. 165 00:06:52,948 --> 00:06:54,032 I WAS THINKING SOMETHING FLASHY 166 00:06:54,116 --> 00:06:57,119 WITH LOTS OF SINGING AND DANCING AND... 167 00:06:57,202 --> 00:06:57,202 HOLD ON A SECOND. 168 00:06:57,202 --> 00:06:58,040 ( phone rings ) 169 00:06:58,040 --> 00:06:58,040 HOLD ON A SECOND. 170 00:06:58,040 --> 00:06:58,620 ( phone rings ) 171 00:06:58,703 --> 00:06:59,579 MIRIAM HERE. 172 00:06:59,663 --> 00:06:59,663 WHAT? 173 00:06:59,663 --> 00:07:01,081 MOM. 174 00:07:01,164 --> 00:07:04,584 YOU WANT TO RETURN THEM? 175 00:07:04,668 --> 00:07:08,922 OH, I'M SORRY, YOU SIGNED A NON-REFUNDABLE CONTRACT 176 00:07:09,005 --> 00:07:11,049 SO I'M AFRAID WHAT YOU'RE ASKING 177 00:07:11,133 --> 00:07:13,760 IS REALLY JUST OUT OF THE QUESTION. 178 00:07:13,844 --> 00:07:14,469 ALL RIGHTY, THAT'S UP TO YOU. 179 00:07:14,553 --> 00:07:17,889 I'LL SEE YOU IN COURT. BYE-BYE. 180 00:07:17,973 --> 00:07:19,432 NOW, WHERE WERE WE? 181 00:07:19,516 --> 00:07:21,601 OH, YEAH, THE COMMERCIAL, RIGHT. 182 00:07:22,853 --> 00:07:22,894 MOM, I'M READY TO GO. 183 00:07:28,191 --> 00:07:29,901 ( snoring ) 184 00:07:29,985 --> 00:07:31,027 BOB. 185 00:07:31,111 --> 00:07:33,029 DO YOU KNOW WHERE MIRIAM IS? 186 00:07:33,113 --> 00:07:35,240 SHE'S SUPPOSED TO DRIVE ME TO SCHOOL 187 00:07:35,323 --> 00:07:35,949 AND SHE'S NOT HOME. BOB! 188 00:07:36,032 --> 00:07:39,286 ( mumbling in sleep ) 189 00:07:43,039 --> 00:07:43,999 OOH, MOTHER CUT THE CRUST OFF. 190 00:07:44,082 --> 00:07:46,626 PRECISELY HOW I LIKE IT. 191 00:07:46,960 --> 00:07:48,712 WHAT'S WRONG? 192 00:07:48,795 --> 00:07:50,046 OH, GOSH. 193 00:07:50,130 --> 00:07:51,756 DID YOUR MOM FORGET TO PACK YOUR LUNCH? 194 00:07:51,840 --> 00:07:53,884 YEAH, I GUESS SHE DID. 195 00:07:53,967 --> 00:07:54,926 ( sighs sadly ) 196 00:07:55,010 --> 00:07:56,219 IS MIRIAM THERE? 197 00:07:56,303 --> 00:07:59,681 NO, THAT'S OKAY, I DON'T NEED TO HOLD. 198 00:08:02,309 --> 00:08:03,852 HEY, HELGA. 199 00:08:03,935 --> 00:08:03,935 ARE YOU OKAY? 200 00:08:03,935 --> 00:08:04,040 HUH? 201 00:08:04,040 --> 00:08:04,040 ARE YOU OKAY? 202 00:08:04,040 --> 00:08:04,936 HUH? 203 00:08:05,020 --> 00:08:06,646 YOU SEEM KIND OF DISTRACTED. 204 00:08:06,730 --> 00:08:09,065 PLUS YOUR ICE CREAM IS MELTING ALL OVER YOUR HAND. 205 00:08:09,149 --> 00:08:13,737 YEAH, WELL, UH, I WAS THINKING. 206 00:08:13,820 --> 00:08:15,572 ABOUT WHAT? 207 00:08:15,655 --> 00:08:18,658 ABOUT NOTHING THAT'S ANY OF YOUR BEESWAX! 208 00:08:18,742 --> 00:08:19,534 FINE. 209 00:08:19,618 --> 00:08:21,161 ALL RIGHT, IF YOU HAVE TO KNOW 210 00:08:21,244 --> 00:08:24,664 I'M TRYING TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO TELL MIRIAM 211 00:08:24,748 --> 00:08:26,958 THAT EVEN THOUGH SHE LOVES WORKING 212 00:08:27,042 --> 00:08:28,752 AND SHE'S REALLY GREAT AT IT 213 00:08:28,835 --> 00:08:31,671 AND SHE'S NEVER BEEN HAPPIER IN HER WHOLE LIFE 214 00:08:31,755 --> 00:08:34,132 I NEED HER TO GIVE ALL THAT UP AND COME BACK HOME. 215 00:08:34,216 --> 00:08:36,426 ALL SHE DOES IS WORK! 216 00:08:36,509 --> 00:08:38,261 ALL SHE CARES ABOUT IS WORK! 217 00:08:38,345 --> 00:08:40,096 SHE'S GONE OFF THE DEEP END! 218 00:08:40,180 --> 00:08:42,265 EVERYTHING WAS FINE FOR A WHILE 219 00:08:42,349 --> 00:08:44,309 BUT NOW THINGS ARE WORSE. 220 00:08:44,392 --> 00:08:47,562 WHY DON'T YOU TELL HER EXACTLY WHAT YOU JUST TOLD ME? 221 00:08:49,606 --> 00:08:56,988 ( "Diamonds Are a Girl's Best Friend" playing ) 222 00:08:57,072 --> 00:08:59,866 ♪ BEEPERS ♪ 223 00:08:59,950 --> 00:09:01,159 ♪ BEEPERS ♪ 224 00:09:01,243 --> 00:09:01,576 ♪ BEEPERS ♪ 225 00:09:01,660 --> 00:09:04,037 ♪ BEEPERS ♪ 226 00:09:04,120 --> 00:09:09,125 ♪ BEEPERS ARE A GIRL'S BEST... ♪ 227 00:09:09,209 --> 00:09:10,126 ( beeper rings ) 228 00:09:10,210 --> 00:09:12,128 WHOOPS! SOMEBODY BEEPED ME! 229 00:09:12,212 --> 00:09:16,967 ♪ ...FRIEND! ♪ 230 00:09:17,050 --> 00:09:18,802 AND CUT! 231 00:09:18,885 --> 00:09:20,804 OKAY, LARRY, I NEED AN IKE ON THE DANCERS. 232 00:09:20,887 --> 00:09:20,887 MOM. 233 00:09:20,887 --> 00:09:22,040 HELGA! 234 00:09:22,040 --> 00:09:22,040 MOM. 235 00:09:22,040 --> 00:09:22,222 HELGA! 236 00:09:22,305 --> 00:09:26,518 WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU DOING HERE? 237 00:09:26,601 --> 00:09:29,104 I NEED YOU FOR A MINUTE, MOM. 238 00:09:29,187 --> 00:09:31,147 YOU NEED ME FOR A MINUTE, MOM. 239 00:09:31,231 --> 00:09:31,773 LISTEN, I AM SORRY, HELGA 240 00:09:31,856 --> 00:09:34,651 BUT THIS IS NOT A GOOD TIME. 241 00:09:34,734 --> 00:09:37,320 WE'RE GOING TO BE BACK ON IN FIVE MINUTES 242 00:09:37,404 --> 00:09:37,779 AND THEY NEED ME. 243 00:09:37,862 --> 00:09:40,448 SO, WHATEVER IT IS 244 00:09:40,532 --> 00:09:42,075 IT'S JUST GOING TO HAVE TO WAIT, OKAY? 245 00:09:42,158 --> 00:09:43,285 SO GO ON, BYE-BYE. 246 00:09:43,368 --> 00:09:46,663 GO DO YOUR HOMEWORK OR SOMETHING. 247 00:09:46,746 --> 00:09:50,000 TOM, YOU WANT TO PLAY ME BACK THAT LAST TAKE? 248 00:09:50,083 --> 00:09:52,002 I need you for a minute, Mom. 249 00:09:52,085 --> 00:09:54,921 You need me for a minute, Mom. 250 00:09:55,005 --> 00:09:57,215 Listen, I am sorry, Helga 251 00:09:57,299 --> 00:10:00,635 but this is not a good time. 252 00:10:00,719 --> 00:10:03,346 We're going to be back on in five minutes 253 00:10:03,430 --> 00:10:03,763 and they need me. 254 00:10:03,847 --> 00:10:05,557 So whatever it is 255 00:10:05,640 --> 00:10:07,142 it's just going to have to wait, okay? 256 00:10:07,225 --> 00:10:08,268 So go on, bye-bye 257 00:10:08,351 --> 00:10:11,604 go do your homework or something. 258 00:10:14,899 --> 00:10:16,526 HELGA, SWEETIE. 259 00:10:16,609 --> 00:10:18,653 MOM? WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 260 00:10:18,737 --> 00:10:20,405 I NEED TO TALK TO YOU, DEAR. 261 00:10:20,488 --> 00:10:22,198 WHAT ABOUT YOUR COMMERCIAL? 262 00:10:22,282 --> 00:10:22,657 DON'T THEY NEED YOU? 263 00:10:22,741 --> 00:10:25,368 IT'S NOT IMPORTANT. 264 00:10:25,452 --> 00:10:25,452 IT'S NOT? 265 00:10:25,452 --> 00:10:26,870 NO, HELGA. 266 00:10:26,953 --> 00:10:30,498 THE ONLY THING THAT IS IMPORTANT TO ME, HONEY, IS YOU. 267 00:10:30,582 --> 00:10:30,582 REALLY? 268 00:10:30,582 --> 00:10:32,709 YES, HELGA. 269 00:10:32,792 --> 00:10:35,545 I REALIZE I'VE BEEN SO PREOCCUPIED AT WORK 270 00:10:35,628 --> 00:10:37,380 I HAVEN'T HAD TIME FOR YOU. 271 00:10:37,464 --> 00:10:40,050 SO, I'VE DECIDED TO QUIT AND COME BACK HOME. 272 00:10:40,133 --> 00:10:41,509 MOM, YOU LOVE WORK. 273 00:10:41,593 --> 00:10:44,554 YOU LOVE BEING IN CHARGE AND INDEPENDENT. 274 00:10:44,638 --> 00:10:47,349 YOU CAN'T JUST GIVE ALL THAT UP JUST LIKE THAT. 275 00:10:47,432 --> 00:10:49,142 OH, YES I CAN, LITTLE LADY. 276 00:10:49,225 --> 00:10:50,560 AND DO YOU KNOW WHY? 277 00:10:50,643 --> 00:10:52,896 BECAUSE I'VE GOT THE REST OF MY LIFE 278 00:10:52,979 --> 00:10:55,065 TO GO BACK TO WORK. 279 00:10:55,148 --> 00:10:57,484 I CAN BE IN CHARGE AND INDEPENDENT ANY OLD TIME. 280 00:10:57,567 --> 00:11:02,572 BUT I'VE ONLY GOT RIGHT NOW TO BE A BETTER MOM. 281 00:11:02,655 --> 00:11:04,824 YOU WON'T BE EIGHT FOREVER, YOU KNOW. 282 00:11:04,908 --> 00:11:05,825 I'M NINE, MOM. 283 00:11:05,909 --> 00:11:07,869 YOU'RE NINE! 284 00:11:07,952 --> 00:11:10,497 WELL, SEE, NOW, THAT'S EXACTLY MY POINT. 285 00:11:10,580 --> 00:11:11,623 WHAT DO YOU SAY? 286 00:11:11,706 --> 00:11:13,583 CAN WE GO HOME AND GIVE IT ANOTHER SHOT? 287 00:11:19,422 --> 00:11:22,092 Bob: ALL RIGHT, MIRIAM, YOU WIN. 288 00:11:22,175 --> 00:11:23,134 I'LL GO BACK TO WORK. 289 00:11:23,218 --> 00:11:27,597 BUT I DON'T THINK MY BACK'S COMPLETELY HEALED YET. 290 00:11:27,680 --> 00:11:29,641 TRUST ME, B., A DAY OFF THE COUCH 291 00:11:29,724 --> 00:11:30,600 WILL DO YOU A WORLD OF GOOD. 292 00:11:30,683 --> 00:11:33,144 OH, FINE-- BUT DON'T YOU DARE FORGET 293 00:11:33,228 --> 00:11:35,855 TO TAPE PHYSICIANS' HOSPITAL. 294 00:11:35,939 --> 00:11:38,108 TODAY IS COLDON AND MEG'S WEDDING. 295 00:11:38,191 --> 00:11:41,611 RELAX, B., I'VE ALREADY PROGRAMMED THE V.C.R. 296 00:11:41,694 --> 00:11:45,156 DON'T FORGET ABOUT YOUR 4:00 MEETING, AND BE CAREFUL. 297 00:11:45,240 --> 00:11:46,533 THOSE GUYS ARE SHARKS. 298 00:11:50,161 --> 00:11:53,039 ( munching and humming... ) 299 00:11:59,629 --> 00:12:01,631 OSKAR, FOR THE LOVE OF PETE 300 00:12:01,715 --> 00:12:03,758 WILL YOU STOP THAT HUMMING? 301 00:12:03,842 --> 00:12:04,426 WHAT HUMMING? 302 00:12:04,509 --> 00:12:06,094 HE CANNOT EAT WITHOUT HUMMING! 303 00:12:06,177 --> 00:12:08,346 HE CAN'T HELP IT. 304 00:12:08,430 --> 00:12:10,974 HEY, KOKOSHKA, PASS THE SALT OVER HERE, HUH? 305 00:12:16,271 --> 00:12:18,356 UH, THAT'S THE PEPPER, MR. KOKOSHKA. 306 00:12:18,440 --> 00:12:20,108 SORRY, I'M SO TIRED, I CAN BARELY 307 00:12:20,191 --> 00:12:21,192 SEE STRAIGHT. 308 00:12:21,276 --> 00:12:23,820 OH, MARON, WHAT A DIMWIT. 309 00:12:23,903 --> 00:12:26,281 ( doorbell rings ) 310 00:12:26,364 --> 00:12:27,657 OH, GREAT, IT'S MY NEW X-RAY GLASSES 311 00:12:27,740 --> 00:12:31,119 SO I CAN SEE THROUGH PEOPLE'S CLOTHES! 312 00:12:31,202 --> 00:12:33,413 PLEASE SIGN YOUR NAME ON LINE ONE. 313 00:12:35,123 --> 00:12:37,333 COULD YOU SPELL THAT FOR ME? 314 00:12:37,417 --> 00:12:38,334 NO, I, I'M BUSY. 315 00:12:38,418 --> 00:12:40,003 IT'S WRITTEN RIGHT THERE. 316 00:12:44,591 --> 00:12:47,177 ( groaning, sniffling ) 317 00:12:47,260 --> 00:12:48,428 HEY, OSKAR, READ ME 318 00:12:48,511 --> 00:12:50,054 THE REST OF THE RECIPE, WOULD YOU? 319 00:12:50,138 --> 00:12:52,515 OH, I, I CAN'T HELP RIGHT NOW 320 00:12:52,599 --> 00:12:54,142 BECAUSE MY, MY EYES ARE TOO TEARY 321 00:12:54,225 --> 00:12:55,518 FROM THOSE ONIONS. 322 00:12:55,602 --> 00:12:58,688 YOU'RE NOWHERE NEAR THE ONIONS! 323 00:12:58,771 --> 00:13:00,190 WHAT'S THE MATTER, CAN'T YOU READ? 324 00:13:00,273 --> 00:13:02,859 OH, HE LEFT. 325 00:13:02,942 --> 00:13:03,485 ( grunting ) 326 00:13:03,568 --> 00:13:06,070 COULD YOU HELP ME WITH THIS? 327 00:13:06,154 --> 00:13:07,739 I HAVE A TERRIBLE HEADACHE. 328 00:13:07,822 --> 00:13:10,700 BUT, MR. KOKOSHKA, THAT'S NOT ASPIRIN. 329 00:13:10,783 --> 00:13:11,910 OF COURSE IT IS, IT SAYS HERE. 330 00:13:11,993 --> 00:13:14,078 IT SAYS, "TABLETS FOR 331 00:13:14,162 --> 00:13:15,747 SCUM-FREE FISHBOWL WATER." 332 00:13:15,830 --> 00:13:16,372 SEE? 333 00:13:16,456 --> 00:13:16,789 OH, RIGHT, RIGHT. 334 00:13:16,873 --> 00:13:18,708 I, I KNEW THAT 335 00:13:18,791 --> 00:13:20,752 BUT THEY ALSO CURE MY HEADACHES. 336 00:13:20,835 --> 00:13:23,546 IT'S A HEADACHE FROM EATING TOO MUCH FISH. 337 00:13:23,630 --> 00:13:24,923 ( laughs nervously ) 338 00:13:25,548 --> 00:13:26,966 MR. KOKOSHKA, YOU DON'T KNOW 339 00:13:27,050 --> 00:13:29,093 HOW TO READ, DO YOU? 340 00:13:29,177 --> 00:13:30,678 WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 341 00:13:30,762 --> 00:13:33,014 THAT'S CRAZY-- OF COURSE I KNOW HOW. 342 00:13:33,097 --> 00:13:34,098 I CAN READ LIKE ANYBODY ELSE. 343 00:13:34,182 --> 00:13:36,809 I CAN... OKAY, SO IT'S TRUE. 344 00:13:36,893 --> 00:13:38,978 I NEVER LEARNED HOW TO READ-- BIG DEAL. 345 00:13:39,062 --> 00:13:41,272 YOU CAN STILL LEARN. 346 00:13:41,356 --> 00:13:43,566 AH, WHAT FOR? I DIDN'T NEED TO READ 347 00:13:43,650 --> 00:13:45,151 TO BECOME THE SUCCESS I AM TODAY. 348 00:13:45,235 --> 00:13:46,945 BUT YOU'RE A PAPER BOY. 349 00:13:47,028 --> 00:13:48,905 WHAT'S YOUR POINT? 350 00:13:48,988 --> 00:13:52,450 IF YOU LEARNED TO READ, YOU COULD DO ANYTHING. 351 00:13:52,534 --> 00:13:54,285 YOU WOULDN'T HAVE TO MAKE EXCUSES. 352 00:13:54,369 --> 00:13:56,329 NAH, FORGET IT. 353 00:13:56,412 --> 00:13:57,830 IT'S NOT IMPORTANT TO ME. 354 00:13:57,914 --> 00:14:01,334 OF COURSE WE CAN KEEP THIS SECRET BETWEEN US, OKAY? 355 00:14:01,417 --> 00:14:03,294 THERE'S NO REASON FOR ANYBODY ELSE 356 00:14:03,378 --> 00:14:05,129 TO KNOW OSKAR CAN'T READ. 357 00:14:05,213 --> 00:14:05,880 Ernie: OSKAR CAN'T READ! 358 00:14:05,964 --> 00:14:08,007 IT'S UNBELIEVABLE! 359 00:14:08,091 --> 00:14:08,591 WHO SAYS I CAN'T READ? 360 00:14:08,675 --> 00:14:10,426 YOU DID JUST NOW, KOKOSHKA. 361 00:14:10,510 --> 00:14:13,012 YOU'RE PROBABLY JUST TOO DUMB TO LEARN. 362 00:14:13,096 --> 00:14:14,931 I AM NOT TOO DUMB. 363 00:14:15,014 --> 00:14:17,433 I COULD LEARN TO READ LIKE THAT IF I WANTED. 364 00:14:17,517 --> 00:14:18,434 OH, IS THAT SO? 365 00:14:18,518 --> 00:14:19,769 I'LL BET YOU 20 BUCKS 366 00:14:19,852 --> 00:14:23,106 YOU CAN'T LEARN TO READ BY THE END OF THE MONTH. 367 00:14:23,189 --> 00:14:24,941 AND I WILL BET YOU 50 BUCKS. 368 00:14:25,024 --> 00:14:25,733 OKAY, IT'S A BET. 369 00:14:25,817 --> 00:14:29,320 50 BUCKS, HUH, MR. HIGH ROLLER? WHOA. 370 00:14:29,404 --> 00:14:30,572 HEY, LITTLE BUDDY 371 00:14:30,655 --> 00:14:31,281 I WAS JUST WONDERING... 372 00:14:31,364 --> 00:14:33,533 IF I COULD HELP YOU LEARN TO READ? 373 00:14:35,243 --> 00:14:36,202 I'D BE HAPPY TO. 374 00:14:36,286 --> 00:14:37,912 ♪ A, B, C, D ♪ 375 00:14:37,996 --> 00:14:39,455 ♪ E, F, G... ♪ 376 00:14:39,539 --> 00:14:41,874 ♪ H, I, C, K, N, 2, P. ♪ 377 00:14:41,958 --> 00:14:44,210 I'M READING, HUH? 378 00:14:44,294 --> 00:14:45,837 ( laughs ) 379 00:14:45,920 --> 00:14:46,963 JELLYBEAN. 380 00:14:47,046 --> 00:14:47,213 VIOLIN. 381 00:14:47,297 --> 00:14:49,007 COCONUT? 382 00:14:50,425 --> 00:14:51,217 I GOT THESE FROM SCHOOL. 383 00:14:51,301 --> 00:14:53,344 IF YOU DO THEM NIGHTLY 384 00:14:53,428 --> 00:14:54,304 YOU'LL BE READING IN NO TIME. 385 00:14:54,387 --> 00:14:57,056 BUT YOU HAVE TO WORK REAL HARD. 386 00:14:57,140 --> 00:14:58,182 NO PROBLEM. 387 00:14:58,266 --> 00:14:59,100 ( crunching ) 388 00:14:59,183 --> 00:15:01,144 HI, SWEETIE. 389 00:15:01,227 --> 00:15:03,354 HOW'S THE READING GOING? 390 00:15:03,438 --> 00:15:04,856 SUZIE, YOU WON'T BELIEVE IT. 391 00:15:04,939 --> 00:15:07,692 I WROTE MY WHOLE WORKSHEET, EVERYTHING PERFECT 392 00:15:07,775 --> 00:15:09,444 AND IT BLEW OUT THE WINDOW 393 00:15:09,527 --> 00:15:11,321 BECAUSE YOU LEFT THE FAN ON AGAIN. 394 00:15:11,404 --> 00:15:12,488 I'M SORRY, OSKAR. 395 00:15:12,572 --> 00:15:14,490 I'LL TRY TO BE MORE CAREFUL. 396 00:15:14,574 --> 00:15:16,909 I GUESS YOU'LL JUST HAVE TO DO IT OVER. 397 00:15:16,993 --> 00:15:19,370 YEAH, I COULD, EXCEPT MY HAND IS SO CRAMPED 398 00:15:19,454 --> 00:15:21,497 FROM ALL THE WRITING I DID. 399 00:15:21,581 --> 00:15:23,416 COULD YOU DO IT FOR ME? 400 00:15:23,499 --> 00:15:24,792 WOW, THIS LOOKS GREAT. 401 00:15:24,876 --> 00:15:26,210 YEAH, I AM WORKING REALLY HARD. 402 00:15:26,294 --> 00:15:28,129 I'M ALMOST READY TO SHOW THEM 403 00:15:28,212 --> 00:15:29,756 THAT I LEARNED TO READ. 404 00:15:29,839 --> 00:15:33,092 I'M GOING TO READ THEM THE FIRST PAGE OF THIS BOOK 405 00:15:33,176 --> 00:15:35,511 AND THEN I WIN THE BET. 406 00:15:35,595 --> 00:15:37,722 A TALE OF TWO CITIES? ARE YOU SURE? 407 00:15:37,805 --> 00:15:39,223 OH, YEAH, NO PROBLEM. 408 00:15:39,307 --> 00:15:40,350 I CAN READ IT EASY. 409 00:15:40,433 --> 00:15:41,726 HEY, YOU, LITTLE KID 410 00:15:41,809 --> 00:15:43,519 HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO DO ME A FAVOR? 411 00:15:43,603 --> 00:15:45,855 I NEED SOMEONE TO READ ME 412 00:15:45,938 --> 00:15:48,358 THE FIRST PAGE OF THIS BOOK AGAIN AND AGAIN 413 00:15:48,441 --> 00:15:49,150 UNTIL I MEMORIZE IT. 414 00:15:49,233 --> 00:15:52,028 WHAT'S IN IT FOR ME? 415 00:15:52,111 --> 00:15:55,323 "IT WAS THE BEST OF TIMES, IT WAS THE WORST OF TIMES... 416 00:15:55,406 --> 00:15:56,115 "IT WAS THE BEST OF TIMES 417 00:15:56,199 --> 00:15:58,117 IT WAS THE WORST OF TIMES..." 418 00:15:58,201 --> 00:16:00,286 "IT WAS THE AGE OF WISDOM... 419 00:16:00,370 --> 00:16:02,288 "IT WAS THE AGE OF FOOLISHNESS 420 00:16:02,372 --> 00:16:03,331 "IT WAS THE SEASON OF LIGHT 421 00:16:03,414 --> 00:16:05,166 "IT WAS THE SEASON OF DARKNESS 422 00:16:05,249 --> 00:16:07,543 "IT WAS THE SPRING OF HOPE 423 00:16:07,627 --> 00:16:09,545 "IT WAS THE WINTER OF DESPAIR 424 00:16:09,629 --> 00:16:11,631 "WE HAD EVERYTHING BEFORE US 425 00:16:11,714 --> 00:16:13,341 WE HAD NOTHING BEFORE US..." ( laughs ) 426 00:16:13,424 --> 00:16:15,551 YOU DID IT, MR. KOKOSHKA! 427 00:16:15,635 --> 00:16:16,678 OH, OSKAR, I'M SO PROUD OF YOU. 428 00:16:16,761 --> 00:16:19,305 WELL, NOW I'VE SEEN EVERYTHING. 429 00:16:19,389 --> 00:16:21,808 SO ERNIE AND MR. HIGH ROLLER 430 00:16:21,891 --> 00:16:23,101 I THINK YOU OWE ME SOME MONEY. 431 00:16:23,184 --> 00:16:25,103 I CAN'T BELIEVE IT. 432 00:16:25,186 --> 00:16:26,437 OSKAR LEARNED TO READ! 433 00:16:26,521 --> 00:16:27,480 BEFORE WE'RE EXCHANGING MONEY 434 00:16:27,563 --> 00:16:29,607 IF YOU DON'T MIND, KOKOSHKA, I HOPE 435 00:16:29,691 --> 00:16:32,777 THIS ISN'T AN IMPOSITION OR ANYTHING 436 00:16:32,860 --> 00:16:33,820 NOW THAT YOU'RE A PROFESSIONAL READER 437 00:16:33,903 --> 00:16:36,489 LET ME HEAR YOU READ IT ONE MORE TIME. 438 00:16:36,572 --> 00:16:38,074 OH YEAH, NO PROBLEM. 439 00:16:38,157 --> 00:16:39,575 IT WAS THE BEST OF TIMES 440 00:16:39,659 --> 00:16:41,953 IT WAS THE WORST OF... 441 00:16:42,036 --> 00:16:42,495 I THOUGHT SO! 442 00:16:42,578 --> 00:16:43,287 YOU CAN'T READ AT ALL! 443 00:16:43,371 --> 00:16:44,622 WHAT DO YOU MEAN? 444 00:16:44,706 --> 00:16:46,749 I SWITCHED THE BOOKS, YOU BUM! 445 00:16:46,833 --> 00:16:50,670 YOU MEMORIZED "THE BEST OF TIMES" STUFF, DIDN'T YOU? 446 00:16:50,753 --> 00:16:51,963 DID YOU, OSKAR? 447 00:16:52,046 --> 00:16:52,630 WELL... 448 00:16:52,714 --> 00:16:54,173 WELL, MAYBE I DID, BUT THAT... 449 00:16:54,257 --> 00:16:55,800 OH, OSKAR. 450 00:16:55,883 --> 00:16:58,761 YOU WERE CHEATING THE WHOLE TIME. 451 00:16:58,845 --> 00:17:00,596 YOU JUST DID IT FOR THE MONEY. 452 00:17:00,680 --> 00:17:01,764 HE'LL NEVER LEARN. 453 00:17:01,848 --> 00:17:03,933 THE MAN IS A LOSER. 454 00:17:09,230 --> 00:17:10,606 ( traffic humming past ) 455 00:17:10,690 --> 00:17:11,190 Boy: MISTER. 456 00:17:11,274 --> 00:17:12,233 HEY, MISTER? 457 00:17:12,316 --> 00:17:14,777 I CAN'T READ THESE DIRECTIONS. 458 00:17:14,861 --> 00:17:16,696 CAN YOU READ THEM FOR ME? 459 00:17:16,779 --> 00:17:20,116 NO, I, I CAN'T RIGHT NOW. 460 00:17:20,199 --> 00:17:21,284 I'M SORRY. 461 00:17:21,367 --> 00:17:21,868 YOU CAN'T? 462 00:17:21,951 --> 00:17:24,287 BUT, BUT, MISTER, WHY NOT? 463 00:17:24,370 --> 00:17:25,371 CAN'T YOU READ? 464 00:17:25,455 --> 00:17:26,914 CAN'T YOU READ, MISTER? 465 00:17:28,833 --> 00:17:31,836 ( kids laughing ) 466 00:17:41,387 --> 00:17:45,683 Arnold: YOU WERE CHEATING THE WHOLE TIME, WEREN'T YOU? 467 00:17:45,767 --> 00:17:46,559 Ernie: HE'LL NEVER LEARN. 468 00:17:46,642 --> 00:17:49,520 THE MAN IS A LOSER! 469 00:17:49,604 --> 00:17:50,563 Boy: CAN'T YOU READ, MISTER? 470 00:17:50,646 --> 00:17:53,065 ( echoing ): CAN'T YOU READ, READ...? 471 00:17:53,441 --> 00:17:56,444 I WANT TO READ. 472 00:17:57,653 --> 00:17:58,654 MR. KOKOSHKA, YOU SAID THAT BEFORE 473 00:17:58,738 --> 00:18:01,073 BUT YOU DIDN'T MEAN IT. 474 00:18:01,157 --> 00:18:01,532 THAT WAS BEFORE. 475 00:18:01,616 --> 00:18:03,201 NOW I WANT TO READ. 476 00:18:03,284 --> 00:18:03,826 ( sighs ) 477 00:18:03,910 --> 00:18:05,411 I DON'T KNOW, MR. KOKOSHKA. 478 00:18:05,495 --> 00:18:06,370 I DON'T THINK... 479 00:18:06,454 --> 00:18:08,539 IF I LEARN TO READ 480 00:18:08,623 --> 00:18:10,833 WHEN SOMEBODY ASKS ME TO PASS THE SALT 481 00:18:10,917 --> 00:18:12,668 I WON'T HAVE TO MAKE EXCUSES. 482 00:18:12,752 --> 00:18:13,836 I CAN TELL GRANDPA 483 00:18:13,920 --> 00:18:15,880 WHAT COMES IN THE RECIPE AFTER THE ONIONS 484 00:18:15,963 --> 00:18:19,175 AND I CAN HELP A LOST LITTLE BOY FIND HIS WAY HOME. 485 00:18:19,258 --> 00:18:20,426 I WANT TO READ. 486 00:18:20,510 --> 00:18:22,887 PLEASE HELP ME. 487 00:18:27,225 --> 00:18:35,775 ( no dialogue ) 488 00:18:43,533 --> 00:18:44,283 BUT WHAT ABOUT MY LESSONS? 489 00:18:44,367 --> 00:18:46,452 I WANT TO READ MORE. 490 00:18:46,536 --> 00:18:48,579 I TOLD YOU, I HAVE TO GO TO SCHOOL. 491 00:18:48,663 --> 00:18:50,706 THERE'S THOUSANDS OF BOOKS IN THERE. 492 00:18:50,790 --> 00:18:52,291 JUST GO IN AND READ. 493 00:18:52,375 --> 00:18:53,334 OH, BUT ARNOLD 494 00:18:53,417 --> 00:18:54,418 THOSE BOOKS ARE TOO HARD. 495 00:18:54,502 --> 00:18:56,462 ( moans ) 496 00:18:57,630 --> 00:18:59,131 ( haltingly ): "HY-PO... 497 00:18:59,215 --> 00:19:00,508 HYPO... CHA..." 498 00:19:00,591 --> 00:19:03,344 AH, I CAN'T READ THESE BOOKS. 499 00:19:03,427 --> 00:19:04,595 THEY'RE TOO HARD. 500 00:19:04,679 --> 00:19:06,806 Woman: OUR NEXT BOOK IS CALLED PET THE KITTY. 501 00:19:06,889 --> 00:19:10,059 DOESN'T THAT SOUND LIKE A FUN BOOK? 502 00:19:10,142 --> 00:19:12,270 WHO WANTS TO READ PET THE KITTY? 503 00:19:12,770 --> 00:19:14,355 "KITTY, KITTY, KITTY. 504 00:19:14,438 --> 00:19:17,692 "DO YOU WANT TO PET THE KITTY? 505 00:19:17,775 --> 00:19:20,236 "YES, I WANT TO PET THE KITTY. 506 00:19:20,319 --> 00:19:22,572 PET, PET, PET." 507 00:19:22,655 --> 00:19:23,406 ( laughs ) 508 00:19:23,489 --> 00:19:25,491 LOOK, EVERYBODY, I'M PETTING THE KITTY! 509 00:19:25,575 --> 00:19:28,244 THAT'S VERY GOOD READING, OSKAR. 510 00:19:28,327 --> 00:19:30,705 NOW, JAMIE, WOULD YOU LIKE TO PICK A BOOK TO READ? 511 00:19:30,788 --> 00:19:32,415 BUT I WANT TO READ MORE. 512 00:19:32,498 --> 00:19:33,499 I WANT TO READ THIS. 513 00:19:33,583 --> 00:19:34,500 GIVE IT TO ME. 514 00:19:34,584 --> 00:19:36,419 NO, IT'S MINE! 515 00:19:36,502 --> 00:19:37,378 I WANT TO READ! 516 00:19:37,461 --> 00:19:37,795 I HATE YOU! 517 00:19:37,879 --> 00:19:38,963 ( arguing ) 518 00:19:39,046 --> 00:19:39,422 NO FIGHTING, CHILDREN. 519 00:19:39,505 --> 00:19:41,841 WE HAVE TO SHARE. 520 00:19:44,343 --> 00:19:48,097 Arnold: OKAY, MR. KOKOSHKA, THIS IS YOUR FINAL TEST. 521 00:19:48,180 --> 00:19:52,184 I'M TAKING YOU TO A DISTANT NEIGHBORHOOD YOU DON'T KNOW. 522 00:19:52,268 --> 00:19:53,978 I'LL GIVE YOU A MAP AND WRITTEN DIRECTIONS 523 00:19:54,061 --> 00:19:55,396 SHOWING YOU HOW TO GET BACK HOME. 524 00:19:55,479 --> 00:20:00,026 ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS READ THE DIRECTIONS AND MAP TO GET BACK. 525 00:20:00,109 --> 00:20:03,821 IF YOU CAN DO THAT, THAT MEANS YOU PASS. 526 00:20:03,905 --> 00:20:05,698 IT MEANS YOU CAN READ. 527 00:20:05,781 --> 00:20:06,574 YOU CAN DO IT, MR. KOKOSHKA. 528 00:20:06,657 --> 00:20:09,493 SEE YOU BACK AT THE BOARDING HOUSE. 529 00:20:09,577 --> 00:20:10,453 WAIT, WHAT IF I...? 530 00:20:10,536 --> 00:20:10,995 GOOD LUCK! 531 00:20:12,747 --> 00:20:13,873 ( moans ) 532 00:20:16,459 --> 00:20:18,544 "FIRST TAKE MA... 533 00:20:18,628 --> 00:20:24,508 MAPLE ST... STREET EAST." 534 00:20:24,592 --> 00:20:27,345 OKAY, MA... MAPLE 535 00:20:27,428 --> 00:20:27,637 STREET EAST. 536 00:20:27,720 --> 00:20:29,347 OKAY. 537 00:20:30,848 --> 00:20:33,267 "TURN LEFT ON MAD... 538 00:20:33,351 --> 00:20:35,102 "MADISON... 539 00:20:35,186 --> 00:20:37,355 AVENUE." 540 00:20:37,438 --> 00:20:39,190 "MADISON AVENUE." 541 00:20:39,273 --> 00:20:40,232 OKAY! 542 00:20:40,316 --> 00:20:41,901 THIS IS GREAT. 543 00:20:41,984 --> 00:20:43,653 I'LL BE HOME IN NO TIME. 544 00:20:43,736 --> 00:20:45,196 ( tires squealing ) 545 00:20:45,279 --> 00:20:46,822 ( shouting, horns honking ) 546 00:20:46,906 --> 00:20:48,240 Ernie: HE CAN'T READ! 547 00:20:48,324 --> 00:20:48,824 HE CAN READ 548 00:20:48,908 --> 00:20:50,952 AND HE'LL FIND HIS WAY HOME. 549 00:20:51,035 --> 00:20:54,789 TRUST ME, WE'LL GET A PHONE CALL AT 2:00 A.M.: 550 00:20:54,872 --> 00:20:56,958 ( mimicking Oskar ): "I'M LOST. 551 00:20:57,041 --> 00:20:58,542 "I AM COLD AND SCARED. 552 00:20:58,626 --> 00:20:59,460 COME GET ME." 553 00:20:59,543 --> 00:21:01,837 "TAKE THE SU... 554 00:21:01,921 --> 00:21:04,465 "SUBWAY TO SHE... 555 00:21:04,548 --> 00:21:07,259 "SHE, SHEFFING... 556 00:21:07,343 --> 00:21:09,512 SHEFFINGTOWN." 557 00:21:09,595 --> 00:21:11,472 SHEFFINGTOWN! OKAY. 558 00:21:15,935 --> 00:21:16,978 ( air brake releases ) 559 00:21:21,732 --> 00:21:22,608 ( crashing in distance ) 560 00:21:22,692 --> 00:21:26,028 ( siren wailing in distance ) 561 00:21:26,112 --> 00:21:29,365 "THIS PROPERTY IS CONDEMNED. 562 00:21:29,448 --> 00:21:30,616 NO EXIT." 563 00:21:30,700 --> 00:21:32,368 OKAY, SO THAT'S NOT GOOD. 564 00:21:32,451 --> 00:21:34,370 ( siren wailing ) 565 00:21:34,453 --> 00:21:35,955 ( sighs heavily ) 566 00:21:36,038 --> 00:21:38,708 I MUST HAVE MADE A MISTAKE. 567 00:21:38,791 --> 00:21:40,209 SHEFFINGTOWN. 568 00:21:40,292 --> 00:21:41,961 MAYBE ERNIE AND MR. HYUNH WERE RIGHT. 569 00:21:42,044 --> 00:21:45,548 MAYBE I AM JUST A BIG LOSER WHO CAN'T READ 570 00:21:45,631 --> 00:21:47,341 AND WHO HUMS WHEN HE EATS. 571 00:21:47,425 --> 00:21:48,009 ( purring ) 572 00:21:48,092 --> 00:21:49,802 HELLO, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 573 00:21:49,885 --> 00:21:51,804 ARE YOU LOST LIKE ME? 574 00:21:51,887 --> 00:21:52,972 "KITTY, KITTY, KITTY. 575 00:21:53,055 --> 00:21:55,599 "THE KITTY IS SO SOFT AND PRETTY. 576 00:21:55,683 --> 00:21:57,518 "DO YOU WANT TO PET THE KITTY? 577 00:21:57,601 --> 00:22:00,646 YES, I WANT TO PET THE KITTY." 578 00:22:00,730 --> 00:22:02,940 JUST LIKE THE BOOK I CAN READ. 579 00:22:03,024 --> 00:22:04,942 JUST LIKE THE BOOK I CAN READ! 580 00:22:05,026 --> 00:22:07,111 IF I CAN READ PET THE KITTY 581 00:22:07,194 --> 00:22:09,739 I CAN READ THE STREET SIGNS, RIGHT? 582 00:22:09,822 --> 00:22:09,822 ( meows ) 583 00:22:09,822 --> 00:22:11,323 COME ON, LET'S GO HOME! 584 00:22:13,576 --> 00:22:16,245 ( clock tolls hour ) 585 00:22:16,328 --> 00:22:17,621 THAT'S IT, I'M CALLING THE POLICE. 586 00:22:17,705 --> 00:22:18,998 LOOK! 587 00:22:21,042 --> 00:22:22,668 ( dog barks in distance ) 588 00:22:22,752 --> 00:22:25,087 OSKAR? 589 00:22:25,463 --> 00:22:27,923 I CAN READ! 590 00:22:28,007 --> 00:22:29,133 ( laughs ) 591 00:22:29,216 --> 00:22:31,469 OH, OSKAR, I'M SO PROUD OF YOU! 592 00:22:32,678 --> 00:22:34,346 HEY, HEY! 593 00:22:34,430 --> 00:22:35,514 NICE GOING, OSKAR. 594 00:22:35,598 --> 00:22:37,099 Hyunh: IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL! 595 00:22:37,183 --> 00:22:37,933 OSKAR LEARNED TO READ. 596 00:22:38,017 --> 00:22:41,145 Grandpa: WELL, NOW I'VE SEEN EVERYTHING 597 00:22:41,228 --> 00:22:43,397 EXCEPT FOR A REALLY GOOD LOW-CALORIE SOFT DRINK. 598 00:22:45,232 --> 00:22:49,111 ( lights switching off ) 599 00:22:49,195 --> 00:22:49,862 ( crickets chirping ) 600 00:22:49,945 --> 00:22:52,031 Oskar: "SEE THE PRETTY KITTY. 601 00:22:52,114 --> 00:22:55,618 "PET THE PRETTY KITTY. 602 00:22:55,701 --> 00:22:56,202 SEE... PET THE KITTY." 603 00:22:56,285 --> 00:22:58,120 Ernie: WILL YOU SHUT UP 604 00:22:58,204 --> 00:22:59,330 WITH THE PRETTY PETTING? 605 00:22:59,413 --> 00:23:01,791 I'M GOING TO MAKE YOU EAT THE KITTY. 606 00:23:01,874 --> 00:23:03,125 I'M TRYING TO SLEEP! 607 00:23:03,209 --> 00:23:04,418 "KITTY, KITTY, KITTY." 608 00:23:04,502 --> 00:23:05,711 Grandpa: QUIET, I'M TRYING TO SLEEP! 609 00:23:05,795 --> 00:23:08,172 I'VE ALREADY HEARD THAT STORY! 610 00:23:08,255 --> 00:23:09,673 YES, I WANT TO PET THE KITTY. 611 00:23:09,757 --> 00:23:10,174 GRANDMA, GET MY MUZZLE. 612 00:23:10,257 --> 00:23:11,967 DON'T PUT IT ON ME! 613 00:23:12,051 --> 00:23:14,637 "PET, PET, PET." 614 00:23:14,720 --> 00:23:18,307 ( all yelling ) 615 00:23:18,390 --> 00:23:20,017 Hyunh: QUIET, QUIET, SHUT UP! 616 00:23:20,101 --> 00:23:22,394 Suzie: CLOSE THE BOOK! 617 00:23:33,072 --> 00:23:36,951 and NICKELODEON 41521

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