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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,829 --> 00:00:02,788 Helga: ARNOLD! 2 00:00:02,871 --> 00:00:04,415 ( barking ) 3 00:00:05,416 --> 00:00:06,750 HEY, ARNOLD! 4 00:00:11,588 --> 00:00:13,132 ( glass shatters ) 5 00:00:16,677 --> 00:00:17,636 ( girl shrieks ) 6 00:00:17,720 --> 00:00:20,514 Helga: HEY, ARNOLD! 7 00:00:21,348 --> 00:00:23,642 ARNOLD! 8 00:00:24,393 --> 00:00:26,478 ARNOLD! 9 00:00:26,770 --> 00:00:29,606 ARNOLD! 10 00:00:29,690 --> 00:00:33,444 [Captioning sponsored by THE U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION 11 00:00:33,527 --> 00:00:35,863 and NICKELODEON] 12 00:00:37,364 --> 00:00:39,032 AR-NOLD! 13 00:00:39,658 --> 00:00:41,660 MOVE IT, FOOTBALL HEAD! 14 00:00:41,744 --> 00:00:43,787 Kids: HEY, ARNOLD! 15 00:00:53,672 --> 00:00:55,507 Helga: WHY'D YOU BUNT, ARNOLD? 16 00:00:55,591 --> 00:00:57,801 WOLFGANG THREW YOU A CREAM PUFF. 17 00:00:57,885 --> 00:01:00,637 YOU COULD HAVE KNOCKED IT OUT OF THE PARK. 18 00:01:00,721 --> 00:01:02,639 IT WAS THE RIGHT PLAY, HELGA. 19 00:01:02,723 --> 00:01:04,183 IGGY WAS ON THIRD. 20 00:01:04,266 --> 00:01:06,059 HE WAS THE GO AHEAD RUN. 21 00:01:06,143 --> 00:01:08,437 SOMETIMES YOU SACRIFICE TO WIN. 22 00:01:08,520 --> 00:01:11,315 WELL, THAT'S A GREAT THEORY, FOOTBALL HEAD 23 00:01:11,398 --> 00:01:12,691 EXCEPT FOR ONE THING. 24 00:01:12,775 --> 00:01:13,650 WE LOST! 25 00:01:13,734 --> 00:01:15,319 WINNING ISN'T EVERYTHING. 26 00:01:15,402 --> 00:01:17,237 MORE IMPORTANTLY, WE'RE A TEAM. 27 00:01:17,321 --> 00:01:19,364 IT'S IMPORTANT TO STICK TOGETHER 28 00:01:19,448 --> 00:01:20,491 WHETHER YOU WIN OR LOSE, RIGHT? 29 00:01:20,574 --> 00:01:22,701 YEAH, RIGHT, ARNOLD. 30 00:01:22,785 --> 00:01:24,453 SEE YOU IN THE FUNNY PAPERS, LOSER. 31 00:01:24,536 --> 00:01:28,332 SEE YOU, ARNOLD. 32 00:01:28,415 --> 00:01:29,541 SEE YOU, STINKY. 33 00:01:29,625 --> 00:01:31,126 ARNIE, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? 34 00:01:31,210 --> 00:01:31,877 COACH WITTENBERG? 35 00:01:31,960 --> 00:01:33,754 I LOOKED ALL OVER FOR YOU. 36 00:01:33,837 --> 00:01:34,713 REPETITIVELY. 37 00:01:34,797 --> 00:01:36,340 I WAS PLAYING BASEBALL. 38 00:01:36,423 --> 00:01:39,176 I WENT FOR THE SACRIFICE BUNT, BUT WE LOST. 39 00:01:39,259 --> 00:01:41,929 HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I SAID, REPETITIVELY: 40 00:01:42,012 --> 00:01:44,181 SACRIFICE PLAYS ARE FOR LOSERS? 41 00:01:44,264 --> 00:01:46,099 THE IMPORTANT THING IS TO WIN! 42 00:01:46,183 --> 00:01:47,851 WINNING IS EVERYTHING! 43 00:01:47,935 --> 00:01:49,019 UH, RIGHT, COACH. 44 00:01:49,102 --> 00:01:51,188 I NEED TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT SOMETHING 45 00:01:51,271 --> 00:01:52,731 CONVERSATIONALLY SPEAKING. 46 00:01:52,815 --> 00:01:54,691 TISH AND I ARE GETTING REMARRIED AGAIN 47 00:01:54,775 --> 00:01:55,567 FOR A SECOND TIME, THIS SATURDAY. 48 00:01:55,651 --> 00:01:57,611 THAT'S GREAT, COACH. 49 00:01:57,694 --> 00:01:59,279 AND I WANT YOU TO BE MY BEST MAN. 50 00:01:59,363 --> 00:02:00,989 ME? 51 00:02:01,073 --> 00:02:01,740 RIGHT, ARNIE. 52 00:02:01,824 --> 00:02:02,699 BUT, WHY ME? 53 00:02:02,783 --> 00:02:03,575 A GUY'S BEST MAN SHOULD BE 54 00:02:03,659 --> 00:02:05,953 HIS BEST FRIEND, RIGHT? 55 00:02:06,036 --> 00:02:07,871 FROM MY LIST OF ALL MY FRIENDS 56 00:02:07,955 --> 00:02:09,456 I CAME TO ONE CONCLUSION. 57 00:02:09,540 --> 00:02:09,873 WHAT'S THAT? 58 00:02:09,957 --> 00:02:11,250 I DON'T HAVE ANY. 59 00:02:11,333 --> 00:02:12,251 EXCEPT YOU, ARNIE. 60 00:02:12,334 --> 00:02:13,877 YOU CAPTAINED MY BOWLING TEAM. 61 00:02:13,961 --> 00:02:15,629 YOU TAUGHT ME THAT PSYCHO, COLLEGE-Y JAZZ. 62 00:02:15,712 --> 00:02:18,674 YOU ALWAYS BELIEVED IN ME. 63 00:02:18,757 --> 00:02:21,343 YOU'RE MY ONLY REAL TRUE FRIEND, ARNIE. 64 00:02:21,426 --> 00:02:23,554 AND I WANT YOU TO BE MY BEST MAN. 65 00:02:23,637 --> 00:02:24,763 WHAT DO YOU SAY? 66 00:02:24,847 --> 00:02:25,806 OKAY, COACH. 67 00:02:25,889 --> 00:02:26,765 GREAT! 68 00:02:26,849 --> 00:02:27,724 WHAT DO I DO? 69 00:02:27,808 --> 00:02:29,184 A FEW SIMPLE THINGS: 70 00:02:29,268 --> 00:02:30,602 INVITE YOUR FRIENDS. 71 00:02:30,686 --> 00:02:32,813 WE NEED SOME USHERS, A RING BEARER. 72 00:02:32,896 --> 00:02:34,648 AND HELP ME PICK OUT MONKEY SUITS. 73 00:02:34,731 --> 00:02:35,566 I'LL WRITE THIS DOWN. 74 00:02:35,649 --> 00:02:38,902 GOOD THINKING, ARNIE. 75 00:02:38,986 --> 00:02:40,028 SO ANYWAY, HELGA. 76 00:02:40,112 --> 00:02:42,364 SINCE YOU CAPTAINED MY BOWLING TEAM 77 00:02:42,447 --> 00:02:43,574 AND MY COUSIN CONNIE'S OUT OF TOWN 78 00:02:43,657 --> 00:02:45,576 I WANT YOU TO BE 79 00:02:45,659 --> 00:02:48,036 MY MAID OF HONOR ON SATURDAY. 80 00:02:48,120 --> 00:02:49,538 GEE, TISH, WOULD I WEAR 81 00:02:49,621 --> 00:02:52,082 A FANCY-LOOKING DRESS WITH BOWS AND LACE 82 00:02:52,165 --> 00:02:53,792 AND FRILLY LITTLE DOODADS? 83 00:02:53,876 --> 00:02:54,585 OH, YEAH. 84 00:02:54,668 --> 00:02:55,752 YOU KNOW, I THINK 85 00:02:55,836 --> 00:02:56,962 I'M BUSY SATURDAY. 86 00:02:57,045 --> 00:02:59,631 OH, WELL, THAT'S TOO BAD, 'CAUSE 87 00:02:59,715 --> 00:03:02,467 ARNOLD'S GOING TO BE THE COACH'S BEST MAN. 88 00:03:02,551 --> 00:03:03,677 ARNOLD? 89 00:03:03,760 --> 00:03:05,804 I THOUGHT IT WOULD HAVE BEEN CUTE 90 00:03:05,888 --> 00:03:08,640 TO WATCH YOU TWO WALK DOWN THE AISLE TOGETHER. 91 00:03:08,724 --> 00:03:11,476 ( joyful organ music ) 92 00:03:11,560 --> 00:03:14,104 Minister: DO YOU, HELGA, TAKE ARNOLD 93 00:03:14,187 --> 00:03:16,440 AS YOUR LAWFULLY WEDDED HUSBAND? 94 00:03:16,523 --> 00:03:18,066 I DO. 95 00:03:18,150 --> 00:03:19,067 I DO. 96 00:03:19,151 --> 00:03:20,027 I DO. 97 00:03:20,110 --> 00:03:21,361 OH, I DO. 98 00:03:21,445 --> 00:03:22,905 YOU DO WHAT? 99 00:03:22,988 --> 00:03:25,616 WHY ARE YOU SCREAMING, "I DO, I DO"? 100 00:03:25,699 --> 00:03:27,993 UM, BECAUSE I DO 101 00:03:28,076 --> 00:03:30,495 AGREE TO BE YOUR MAID OF HONOR. 102 00:03:30,579 --> 00:03:32,122 ( giggles nervously ) 103 00:03:34,166 --> 00:03:35,709 WE LOOK LIKE UNDERTAKERS. 104 00:03:35,792 --> 00:03:36,919 SHUCKS, I LIKE IT. 105 00:03:37,002 --> 00:03:39,838 I RECKON I'LL KEEP IT OVER 106 00:03:39,922 --> 00:03:43,258 A COUPLE EXTRA DAYS AND WEAR IT TO SCHOOL ON MONDAY. 107 00:03:43,342 --> 00:03:44,927 STINKY, YOU'RE A WEIRD KID. 108 00:03:45,010 --> 00:03:48,221 I KNOW, BUT I LOOK SNAZZY. 109 00:03:48,305 --> 00:03:50,057 I LOOK LIKE A MORON. 110 00:03:50,140 --> 00:03:52,476 WE'LL MAKE SOME ALTERCATIONS 111 00:03:52,559 --> 00:03:54,353 AND YOU'LL LOOK LIKE AN ANGEL. 112 00:03:54,436 --> 00:03:55,812 "ALTERCATIONS," HUH? 113 00:03:55,896 --> 00:03:56,772 IT'S FUNNY, YOU REMIND ME OF ME 114 00:03:56,855 --> 00:03:58,065 WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE. 115 00:03:58,148 --> 00:04:00,567 CLUMSY, AWKWARD, BIG FEET, ALWAYS SCOWLING-- 116 00:04:00,651 --> 00:04:02,027 WHAT'S YOUR POINT? 117 00:04:02,110 --> 00:04:04,988 I WAS ABOUT YOUR AGE WHEN I MET JACK 118 00:04:05,072 --> 00:04:06,823 AND I ALWAYS HAD A THING FOR HIM. 119 00:04:06,907 --> 00:04:09,284 BUT I WAS TOO SHY TO SAY. 120 00:04:09,368 --> 00:04:11,328 SO I MADE FUN OF HIM 121 00:04:11,411 --> 00:04:12,621 CALLED HIM NAMES 122 00:04:12,704 --> 00:04:14,498 SO NOBODY WOULD KNOW I LIKED HIM. 123 00:04:14,581 --> 00:04:15,874 I ALWAYS CHALLENGED HIM 124 00:04:15,958 --> 00:04:17,376 AT GAMES AND SPORTS. 125 00:04:17,459 --> 00:04:18,835 JACK HATES TO LOSE. 126 00:04:18,919 --> 00:04:20,879 BUT ONCE, WE PLAYED WHACK-A-MOLE 127 00:04:20,963 --> 00:04:23,465 DOWN AT THE BOARDWALK AND HE LET ME WIN. 128 00:04:23,548 --> 00:04:24,257 NOW HE DIDN'T KNOW I KNEW 129 00:04:24,341 --> 00:04:27,260 THAT HE LET ME WIN AND I SAID NOTHING. 130 00:04:27,344 --> 00:04:30,222 THAT'S WHEN I KNEW HE LIKED ME LIKE I LIKED HIM. 131 00:04:30,305 --> 00:04:33,934 AND EVER SINCE THEN, WE'VE BEEN LIKE THIS. 132 00:04:34,017 --> 00:04:34,935 AND NOW WE'LL REMARRY AGAIN 133 00:04:35,018 --> 00:04:37,521 REPETITIVELY, A SECOND TIME. 134 00:04:37,604 --> 00:04:39,022 WHEN I THINK ABOUT HIM 135 00:04:39,106 --> 00:04:41,775 I START FEELING ALL GOOFY INSIDE. 136 00:04:41,858 --> 00:04:43,026 SOMEDAY WHEN YOU GET MARRIED, HELGA 137 00:04:43,110 --> 00:04:46,071 YOU'LL FEEL ALL GOOFY ABOUT SOME GUY. 138 00:04:46,154 --> 00:04:48,699 WHAT, ARE YOU KIDDING? NOT ME, SISTER! 139 00:04:48,782 --> 00:04:50,993 I'LL NEVER FEEL GOOFY ABOUT ANY GUY. 140 00:04:51,076 --> 00:04:52,577 I HATE THAT MUSHY STUFF. 141 00:04:52,661 --> 00:04:54,496 AND I'M NEVER GETTING MARRIED. 142 00:04:59,918 --> 00:05:01,294 I DO. 143 00:05:01,378 --> 00:05:03,588 I DO, I DO 144 00:05:03,672 --> 00:05:05,007 I DO, I DO! 145 00:05:05,090 --> 00:05:08,760 WHY ARE YOU SCREAMING, "I DO, I DO"? 146 00:05:08,844 --> 00:05:12,305 BECAUSE I... DO REALLY LOVE THIS DRESS. 147 00:05:12,389 --> 00:05:14,182 ( giggles nervously ) 148 00:05:15,017 --> 00:05:16,393 Coach: THAT'S THE ONE. 149 00:05:16,476 --> 00:05:19,187 IN THE MIDDLE WITH THE REAL BIG DIAMOND. 150 00:05:19,271 --> 00:05:19,771 IT'S $6,000. 151 00:05:19,855 --> 00:05:21,940 I MEANT THE ONE NEXT TO IT 152 00:05:22,024 --> 00:05:24,401 WITH THE REAL SMALL CUBIC ZIRCONIUM. 153 00:05:24,484 --> 00:05:25,402 THAT'S $450. 154 00:05:25,485 --> 00:05:27,571 ( groans ) 155 00:05:27,654 --> 00:05:28,071 THIS IS THE ONE. 156 00:05:28,155 --> 00:05:29,448 THAT'S 25 CENTS, COACH. 157 00:05:29,531 --> 00:05:31,408 PERFECT! 158 00:05:31,491 --> 00:05:32,576 TISH'LL LOVE IT. 159 00:05:32,659 --> 00:05:34,244 YOU KNOW, ARNIE, TISH MEANS A LOT TO ME. 160 00:05:34,328 --> 00:05:38,749 THERE ARE TWO THINGS OF UTMOST IMPOTENCE TO ME: 161 00:05:38,832 --> 00:05:39,708 TISH AND WINNING. 162 00:05:39,791 --> 00:05:42,711 Arnold: BUT TISH IS THE MOST IMPORTANT, RIGHT? 163 00:05:42,794 --> 00:05:43,295 Coach: NO, ARNIE 164 00:05:43,378 --> 00:05:45,172 WINNING IS MOST IMPORTANT. 165 00:05:45,255 --> 00:05:46,590 YOU KNOW THAT. 166 00:05:46,673 --> 00:05:48,550 BUT TISH IS A CLOSE SECOND. 167 00:05:48,633 --> 00:05:49,342 AND THEN AIR HOCKEY. 168 00:05:49,426 --> 00:05:51,887 AIR HOCKEY'S THIRD, MAYBE SECOND. 169 00:05:51,970 --> 00:05:54,222 NO, TISH IS SECOND... WELL, IT'S CLOSE. 170 00:05:54,306 --> 00:05:56,099 WINNING, AIR HOCKEY, AND TISH. 171 00:05:56,183 --> 00:05:58,226 THEY'RE ALL IN THE TOP THREE. 172 00:05:58,310 --> 00:06:01,104 WELL, ARNIE, TONIGHT'S THE REHEARSAL DINNER 173 00:06:01,188 --> 00:06:03,190 THEN TOMORROW'S THE BIG DAY. 174 00:06:04,066 --> 00:06:06,318 GREAT REHEARSAL, ARNIE. 175 00:06:06,401 --> 00:06:07,069 OUR DEFENSE WAS DEFENSIVE 176 00:06:07,152 --> 00:06:09,529 OUR OFFENSE WAS OFFENSIVE 177 00:06:09,613 --> 00:06:10,739 AND OUR MAN-TO-MAN USHER COVERAGE 178 00:06:10,822 --> 00:06:11,782 WAS IN THE ZONE. 179 00:06:11,865 --> 00:06:14,117 EVERYTHING WENT GREAT. 180 00:06:14,201 --> 00:06:15,077 NOTHING COULD GO WRONG NOW. 181 00:06:15,160 --> 00:06:18,330 ARE YOU GOING TO EAT ALL THAT, JACK? 182 00:06:18,413 --> 00:06:19,539 YEAH, I'LL EAT IT. 183 00:06:19,623 --> 00:06:20,791 THAT'S WHY I PUT IT ON MY PLATE. 184 00:06:20,874 --> 00:06:22,626 YOU CAN'T EAT ALL THAT. 185 00:06:22,709 --> 00:06:23,794 OF COURSE I CAN. 186 00:06:23,877 --> 00:06:25,712 AND WHAT'S MORE 187 00:06:25,796 --> 00:06:26,922 I BET YOU I CAN CLEAN MY PLATE 188 00:06:27,005 --> 00:06:29,341 FASTER THAN YOU CAN. 189 00:06:29,424 --> 00:06:29,966 YOU'RE ON. 190 00:06:30,050 --> 00:06:31,134 YOU'RE ON! 191 00:06:36,723 --> 00:06:38,475 SCORE! I BEAT YOU, JACK. 192 00:06:38,558 --> 00:06:39,976 THAT'S JUST THE FIRST ROUND. 193 00:06:40,060 --> 00:06:42,604 FIRST ONE THROUGH A PLATE OF CHICKEN WINGS WINS. 194 00:06:42,687 --> 00:06:42,687 YOU'RE ON! 195 00:06:42,687 --> 00:06:44,356 YOU'RE ON. 196 00:06:44,439 --> 00:06:46,149 I DON'T THINK IT'S A GOOD IDEA 197 00:06:46,233 --> 00:06:47,984 TO COMPETE WITH YOUR WIFE NOW. 198 00:06:48,068 --> 00:06:48,693 I CAN TAKE HER. 199 00:06:48,777 --> 00:06:48,777 BUT, COACH... 200 00:06:48,777 --> 00:06:50,946 SHE'S GOING DOWN! 201 00:06:51,029 --> 00:06:53,406 TWO FULL ORDERS OF CHICKEN WINGS! 202 00:07:05,919 --> 00:07:08,088 ( grunting ) 203 00:07:26,523 --> 00:07:27,315 I WANT DO-OVERS. 204 00:07:27,399 --> 00:07:29,401 I BEAT YOU FAIR AND SQUARE, JACK 205 00:07:29,484 --> 00:07:31,111 IN FIVE OUT OF NINE EVENTS. 206 00:07:31,194 --> 00:07:32,904 WHY CAN'T YOU JUST ADMIT IT? 207 00:07:32,988 --> 00:07:33,989 I'M NUMBER ONE. 208 00:07:34,072 --> 00:07:34,698 NEVER! 209 00:07:34,781 --> 00:07:37,868 I'LL NEVER ADMIT THAT, TISH. 210 00:07:37,951 --> 00:07:39,411 I CHALLENGE YOU TO ONE GAME 211 00:07:39,494 --> 00:07:41,037 OF AIR HOCKEY FOR THE WHOLE ENCHILADA. 212 00:07:41,121 --> 00:07:44,207 TOMORROW MORNING, AT THE ARCADE. 213 00:07:44,291 --> 00:07:47,127 WHOSOEVER WINS IS THE ALL-TIME CHAMPION 214 00:07:47,210 --> 00:07:48,295 AND NUMBER ONE. 215 00:07:48,378 --> 00:07:49,671 ALL RIGHT, JACK. 216 00:07:49,754 --> 00:07:52,799 WHOSOEVER WINS TOMORROW IS THE BEST 217 00:07:52,883 --> 00:07:54,509 AND NO DO-OVERS. 218 00:07:54,593 --> 00:07:55,385 DEAL! 219 00:07:55,468 --> 00:07:56,052 BUT WHAT ABOUT THE WEDDING? 220 00:07:56,136 --> 00:07:58,221 IT'S TOMORROW, REMEMBER? 221 00:07:58,305 --> 00:07:59,681 IT WAS TOMORROW, ARNIE. 222 00:07:59,764 --> 00:08:00,765 THAT'S RIGHT. 223 00:08:00,849 --> 00:08:02,559 AS OF THIS PRESENT TIME AND MOMENT 224 00:08:02,642 --> 00:08:05,270 THE WEDDING IS OFF TEMPORARILY AND FOREVER. 225 00:08:05,353 --> 00:08:08,231 YOU TOOK THE WORDS RIGHT OUT OF MY MOUTH. 226 00:08:08,315 --> 00:08:10,734 I'LL MAKE YOU EAT THOSE SAID WORDS TOMORROW, TISH. 227 00:08:10,817 --> 00:08:12,777 IN YOUR DREAMS. 228 00:08:15,405 --> 00:08:18,658 Arnold: I JUST DON'T GET IT, COACH. 229 00:08:18,742 --> 00:08:20,660 WHAT'S SO IMPORTANT ABOUT WINNING? 230 00:08:20,744 --> 00:08:21,620 I TOLD YOU: 231 00:08:21,703 --> 00:08:22,204 WINNING IS EVERYTHING. 232 00:08:22,287 --> 00:08:23,997 NOTHING'S MORE IMPORTANT. 233 00:08:24,080 --> 00:08:24,956 AND TISH? 234 00:08:25,040 --> 00:08:25,749 TISH IS IMPORTANT. 235 00:08:25,832 --> 00:08:28,501 WINNING AND TISH, TISH AND WINNING. 236 00:08:28,585 --> 00:08:30,045 THEY'RE ONE-TWO, ARNIE. 237 00:08:30,128 --> 00:08:30,420 BUT WHICH ONE? 238 00:08:30,503 --> 00:08:32,255 IT'S REAL CLOSE. 239 00:08:32,339 --> 00:08:33,423 BACK OFF! 240 00:08:33,506 --> 00:08:34,382 PICK ONE. 241 00:08:34,466 --> 00:08:35,592 I'D PICK TISH, OKAY? 242 00:08:35,675 --> 00:08:37,761 TISH, TISH, TISH, OKAY? 243 00:08:37,844 --> 00:08:39,596 BUT THAT'S ALL OVER, ARNIE. 244 00:08:39,679 --> 00:08:39,888 THE WEDDING'S OFF. 245 00:08:39,971 --> 00:08:41,640 MAYBE NOT. 246 00:08:41,723 --> 00:08:43,099 IF YOU WANT TO WIN TISH BACK 247 00:08:43,183 --> 00:08:44,184 I KNOW A WAY. 248 00:08:44,267 --> 00:08:44,893 HOW? 249 00:08:44,976 --> 00:08:46,394 LOSE THE MATCH. 250 00:08:46,478 --> 00:08:47,687 WHAT? 251 00:08:48,772 --> 00:08:49,606 COME ON, ARNIE. 252 00:08:49,689 --> 00:08:50,482 AIR HOCKEY'S THE ONE GAME 253 00:08:50,565 --> 00:08:54,194 I AM COMPREHENSIBLY CONFIDENT I'LL WIN. 254 00:08:54,277 --> 00:08:56,112 THROW THE GAME, LET TISH WIN. 255 00:08:56,196 --> 00:08:57,864 SHOW HER YOU CARE MORE ABOUT HER 256 00:08:57,948 --> 00:08:59,824 THAN WINNING. 257 00:08:59,908 --> 00:09:00,867 BUT I LOVE WINNING. 258 00:09:00,951 --> 00:09:01,868 WHAT DO YOU LOVE MORE, WINNING 259 00:09:01,952 --> 00:09:02,953 OR YOUR WIFE? 260 00:09:03,036 --> 00:09:05,664 ( teeth chattering ) 261 00:09:09,167 --> 00:09:10,752 ( Coach grunting ) 262 00:09:15,715 --> 00:09:17,133 ( bell rings ) 263 00:09:17,217 --> 00:09:19,302 ONE-ZIP, JACK. 264 00:09:19,386 --> 00:09:20,345 ( bell rings ) 265 00:09:20,428 --> 00:09:21,930 ONE ALL, TISH. 266 00:09:26,142 --> 00:09:27,519 ( bell rings ) 267 00:09:27,602 --> 00:09:27,727 ( bell rings ) 268 00:09:30,272 --> 00:09:31,022 ( bell rings ) 269 00:09:31,106 --> 00:09:33,942 Coach: TEN-TEN, TISH. 270 00:09:34,025 --> 00:09:36,319 NEXT GOAL WINS THE WHOLE THING. 271 00:09:36,403 --> 00:09:38,196 AND PROVES ONCE AND FOR ALL 272 00:09:38,280 --> 00:09:40,156 FOR THE LAST AND FINAL TIME 273 00:09:40,240 --> 00:09:40,573 WHO'S NUMBER ONE. 274 00:09:47,205 --> 00:09:49,666 Arnold: WHAT DO YOU LOVE MORE, WINNING OR YOUR WIFE? 275 00:09:52,585 --> 00:09:53,336 ( bell rings ) 276 00:09:53,420 --> 00:09:54,296 YES! HAH! 277 00:09:54,379 --> 00:09:55,380 I WON, JACK. 278 00:09:55,463 --> 00:09:58,133 WHY CAN'T YOU JUST ADMIT IT? 279 00:09:58,216 --> 00:09:59,676 I'M NUMBER ONE. 280 00:09:59,759 --> 00:10:00,677 YOU'RE RIGHT, TISH. 281 00:10:00,760 --> 00:10:01,678 YOU'RE NUMBER ONE. 282 00:10:01,761 --> 00:10:02,762 WHAT'D YOU SAY, JACK? 283 00:10:02,846 --> 00:10:03,388 YOU'RE RIGHT, TISH. 284 00:10:03,471 --> 00:10:05,056 YOU BEAT ME, YOU'RE THE BEST. 285 00:10:05,140 --> 00:10:06,057 YOU'RE NUMBER ONE. 286 00:10:06,141 --> 00:10:08,476 JACK, THAT'S THE FIRST TIME 287 00:10:08,560 --> 00:10:08,977 YOU EVER SAID THAT TO ME. 288 00:10:09,060 --> 00:10:12,272 YEAH, WELL, YOU KNOW. 289 00:10:12,355 --> 00:10:13,481 OH, JACK. 290 00:10:15,358 --> 00:10:17,652 Minister: DO YOU TAKE COACH WITTENBERG 291 00:10:17,736 --> 00:10:19,487 TO BE YOUR LAWFULLY WEDDED HUSBAND? 292 00:10:19,571 --> 00:10:20,447 I DO. 293 00:10:20,530 --> 00:10:21,531 REPETITIVELY. 294 00:10:21,614 --> 00:10:23,158 AND YOU, COACH WITTENBERG 295 00:10:23,241 --> 00:10:26,703 TAKE TISH TO BE YOUR LAWFULLY WEDDED WIFE? 296 00:10:26,786 --> 00:10:28,705 I DO, ALSO, REPETITIVELY. 297 00:10:28,788 --> 00:10:32,876 I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU STILL HUSBAND AND WIFE. 298 00:10:32,959 --> 00:10:34,002 ( cheering ) 299 00:10:36,296 --> 00:10:38,089 RACE YOU TO THE CAR. 300 00:10:46,556 --> 00:10:47,807 ( swoons ) 301 00:10:47,891 --> 00:10:48,224 HELGA! 302 00:10:48,308 --> 00:10:50,393 ARE YOU ALL RIGHT? 303 00:10:50,477 --> 00:10:53,229 ( dreamily ): I DO, I DO. 304 00:10:53,313 --> 00:10:56,566 I DO, OH, I DO... NOT WANT YOU 305 00:10:56,649 --> 00:11:00,070 TO TOUCH ME EVER AGAIN, FOOTBALL HEAD! 306 00:11:00,153 --> 00:11:01,112 UH, OKAY. 307 00:11:01,196 --> 00:11:03,239 ( grunts ) 308 00:11:05,075 --> 00:11:06,409 ( sighs ) 309 00:11:06,493 --> 00:11:07,369 THANKS, ARNIE. 310 00:11:07,452 --> 00:11:08,078 YOU WERE A GREAT BEST MAN 311 00:11:08,161 --> 00:11:09,954 CATECHISM-ICALLY. 312 00:11:10,038 --> 00:11:11,081 THANKS, COACH. 313 00:11:11,164 --> 00:11:12,916 JACK, I GOT TO ASK SOMETHING. 314 00:11:12,999 --> 00:11:15,210 ASK AWAY, MY FAIR TISH. 315 00:11:15,293 --> 00:11:17,587 DID YOU LET ME WIN THE MATCH? 316 00:11:17,670 --> 00:11:18,588 WHAT? 317 00:11:18,671 --> 00:11:19,714 I DON'T KNOW, JACK. 318 00:11:19,798 --> 00:11:22,092 YOU DIDN'T GIVE ME YOUR BEST GAME. 319 00:11:22,175 --> 00:11:23,134 COME ON, YOU WON, TISH. 320 00:11:23,218 --> 00:11:25,387 YOU WERE THE BEST. 321 00:11:25,470 --> 00:11:26,346 NUMBER ONE. 322 00:11:26,429 --> 00:11:28,056 I WANT A REMATCH, NOW. 323 00:11:28,139 --> 00:11:29,682 NOW? BUT THE HONEYMOON? 324 00:11:29,766 --> 00:11:30,600 NO, THAT'S IT. 325 00:11:30,683 --> 00:11:31,226 I'M DRIVING TO THE ARCADE 326 00:11:31,309 --> 00:11:33,269 I WANT YOUR BEST GAME. 327 00:11:33,353 --> 00:11:34,854 YOU ASKED FOR IT, TISH! 328 00:11:34,938 --> 00:11:35,438 YOU'RE ON! 329 00:11:35,522 --> 00:11:37,607 ( tires squealing ) 330 00:11:37,691 --> 00:11:39,609 ( kids cheering ) 331 00:11:49,202 --> 00:11:51,037 ( school bell rings ) 332 00:11:52,288 --> 00:11:53,456 YEP, HE'S TOUGH. 333 00:11:53,540 --> 00:11:55,083 I'M ALMOST SURE I'VE... 334 00:11:55,166 --> 00:11:56,292 Helga: WELL, WHATEVER. 335 00:11:56,376 --> 00:11:58,461 Rhonda: PSST, PSST, HEY, ARNOLD. 336 00:11:58,545 --> 00:12:00,672 THIS IS FOR YOUR EYES ONLY. 337 00:12:00,755 --> 00:12:03,633 OKAY... "A HIGH TEA PARTY THIS EVENING 338 00:12:03,716 --> 00:12:07,470 AT THE HOME OF MISS RHONDA WELLINGTON LLOYD." 339 00:12:07,554 --> 00:12:09,222 RESTRICTED INVITATIONS? 340 00:12:09,305 --> 00:12:11,224 IT MEANS NOT EVERYONE'S INVITED. 341 00:12:11,307 --> 00:12:12,600 ONLY THE COOL KIDS. 342 00:12:12,684 --> 00:12:14,185 LAST TIME, I INVITED EVERYONE. 343 00:12:14,269 --> 00:12:16,771 THIS TIME, I'M DOWNSIZING. 344 00:12:16,855 --> 00:12:18,565 I'M ELIMINATING THE GEEKS. 345 00:12:18,648 --> 00:12:19,774 ( snaps fingers ) 346 00:12:19,858 --> 00:12:20,859 UH-HUH. 347 00:12:20,942 --> 00:12:23,319 YOU, ARNOLD, HAVE MADE THE COOL LIST. 348 00:12:23,403 --> 00:12:24,612 HOW'D I DO THAT? 349 00:12:24,696 --> 00:12:25,572 I GUESS IT'S YOUR MOODINESS 350 00:12:25,655 --> 00:12:29,033 THAT BROODING AIR OF MYSTERY YOU HAVE. 351 00:12:29,117 --> 00:12:30,326 YOUR UNIQUE SENSE OF STYLE. 352 00:12:30,410 --> 00:12:32,871 MY UNIQUE SENSE OF STYLE? 353 00:12:32,954 --> 00:12:35,123 LIKE THAT LITTLE SKIRT THING YOU ALWAYS WEAR. 354 00:12:35,206 --> 00:12:37,167 IT'S MY SHIRT. 355 00:12:37,250 --> 00:12:38,543 THAT'S WHAT I MEAN. 356 00:12:38,626 --> 00:12:40,336 THE WAY YOU CALL IT "A SHIRT" IS SO COOL. 357 00:12:40,420 --> 00:12:42,297 IT'S BOLD. YOU'RE A BOLD KID. 358 00:12:42,380 --> 00:12:44,466 SO, ARE YOU COMING? 359 00:12:44,549 --> 00:12:44,924 UH, I GUESS. 360 00:12:48,386 --> 00:12:52,182 I CANNOT BELIEVE RHONDA ACTUALLY PUT ME ON HER COOL LIST. 361 00:12:52,265 --> 00:12:53,975 I WAS SURE SHE THOUGHT I WAS A GEEK. 362 00:12:54,058 --> 00:12:55,351 YOU? A GEEK? 363 00:12:55,435 --> 00:12:56,269 PLEASE. 364 00:12:56,352 --> 00:12:58,563 LOOK AROUND YOU, ARNOLD. 365 00:13:00,273 --> 00:13:02,901 Both: A FIVE, SIX, SEVEN, EIGHT AND JUMP. 366 00:13:02,984 --> 00:13:04,694 YOU GOING TO THE PARTY? 367 00:13:04,777 --> 00:13:06,863 SHE DIDN'T INVITE ME. 368 00:13:06,946 --> 00:13:08,990 NOT YET, BUT I'M SURE SHE WILL. 369 00:13:09,073 --> 00:13:12,744 YOU'RE RIGHT, AFTER ALL I AM THE DEFINITION OF COOL. 370 00:13:12,827 --> 00:13:12,827 WHAT ABOUT GERALD? 371 00:13:12,827 --> 00:13:13,369 GEEK. 372 00:13:13,453 --> 00:13:15,872 GERALD? GEEK? HOW COME? 373 00:13:15,955 --> 00:13:18,958 HE'S NICE, HE'S FUNNY, EVERYONE LIKES HIM. 374 00:13:19,042 --> 00:13:20,752 HE SEEMS PRETTY COOL TO ME. 375 00:13:20,835 --> 00:13:22,378 I'VE BEEN FURIOUS AT HIM 376 00:13:22,462 --> 00:13:24,756 EVER SINCE HE BECAME CLASS PRESIDENT. 377 00:13:24,839 --> 00:13:26,883 SO? CLASS PRESIDENT IS COOL. 378 00:13:26,966 --> 00:13:28,718 YES, BUT HE RAN AGAINST ME 379 00:13:28,801 --> 00:13:31,304 AND THAT WAS DEFINITELY NOT COOL. 380 00:13:31,387 --> 00:13:33,515 YOU GET INVITED TO RHONDA'S PARTY? 381 00:13:33,598 --> 00:13:34,557 YEAH, YOU GOING? 382 00:13:34,641 --> 00:13:38,436 NOPE, NONE OF US GOT INVITED. 383 00:13:38,520 --> 00:13:39,354 NONE OF YOU? 384 00:13:39,437 --> 00:13:42,273 I SURVEYED ALL P.S. 118 FOURTH GRADERS. 385 00:13:42,357 --> 00:13:44,234 SO FAR, ONLY NADINE, KATRINKA 386 00:13:44,317 --> 00:13:46,569 PARK, IGGY AND LORENZO ARE INVITED. 387 00:13:46,653 --> 00:13:47,737 AND YOU, ARNOLD. 388 00:13:47,820 --> 00:13:49,030 WHAT ABOUT ME? 389 00:13:49,113 --> 00:13:50,949 I'M SHOCKED TO REPORT, GERALD 390 00:13:51,032 --> 00:13:53,493 YOU WERE ALSO ON RHONDA'S GEEK LIST. 391 00:13:53,576 --> 00:13:53,576 WHAT? 392 00:13:53,576 --> 00:13:56,704 SO, EXCEPT FOR FOOTBALL HEAD HERE 393 00:13:56,704 --> 00:13:56,704 WHAT? 394 00:13:56,704 --> 00:13:57,580 SO, EXCEPT FOR FOOTBALL HEAD HERE 395 00:13:57,664 --> 00:14:00,208 WE ALL MADE RHONDA'S GEEK LIST-- CRIMINY! 396 00:14:00,291 --> 00:14:04,087 YEAH, JUST HOW DOES SHE DEFINE GEEK, ANYWAY? 397 00:14:04,170 --> 00:14:06,589 THE DICTIONARY DEFINES GEEK AS A CIRCUS PERFORMER 398 00:14:06,673 --> 00:14:10,802 WHO BITES THE HEAD OFF A LIVE CHICKEN. 399 00:14:10,885 --> 00:14:11,553 BITE THE HEAD OFF A CHICKEN? 400 00:14:11,636 --> 00:14:15,807 NONE OF US BITE OFF CHICKEN HEADS 401 00:14:15,890 --> 00:14:16,849 EXCEPT CURLY. 402 00:14:16,933 --> 00:14:19,269 YEAH! AND THAT WAS JUST THE ONE TIME. 403 00:14:19,352 --> 00:14:20,687 ( all agree ) 404 00:14:20,770 --> 00:14:22,647 I'M KIND OF MAD ABOUT THIS GEEK LIST. 405 00:14:22,730 --> 00:14:26,192 IT HURTS WHEN THIS KIND OF THING HAPPENS. 406 00:14:26,276 --> 00:14:28,194 WE GOT FEELINGS. 407 00:14:28,278 --> 00:14:30,154 I BET RHONDA THINKS I'M A GEEK 408 00:14:30,238 --> 00:14:32,574 BECAUSE I'M FAT, LOUD AND OBNOXIOUS. 409 00:14:32,657 --> 00:14:35,994 BET I'M A GEEK 'CAUSE MY DAD CUTS MY HAIR WITH A BOWL. 410 00:14:36,077 --> 00:14:39,122 SHE THINKS I'M A GEEK BECAUSE OF MY HUGE NOSE. 411 00:14:39,205 --> 00:14:41,332 IT'S NOT THAT HUGE, SID. 412 00:14:41,416 --> 00:14:43,418 YOU'RE SAYING THAT 'CAUSE YOU GOT 413 00:14:43,501 --> 00:14:46,087 THE BIGGEST HONKER IN THE CITY-- NO OFFENSE. 414 00:14:46,170 --> 00:14:47,338 NONE TAKEN. 415 00:14:47,422 --> 00:14:49,299 FORGET HER, YOU BUNCH OF LOSERS. 416 00:14:49,382 --> 00:14:51,426 SINCE WHEN DOES PRINCESS RHONDA LLOYD DECIDE 417 00:14:51,509 --> 00:14:54,262 WHO'S COOL AND WHO'S A GEEK? 418 00:14:54,345 --> 00:14:58,099 DOY, WHO DIED AND MADE HER PRESIDENT OF THE UNIVERSE? 419 00:14:58,182 --> 00:15:00,143 FORGET RHONDA'S STUPID PARTY! 420 00:15:00,226 --> 00:15:01,227 Others: YEAH! 421 00:15:01,311 --> 00:15:03,980 YOU KNOW, GERALD, MAYBE I SHOULDN'T GO. 422 00:15:04,063 --> 00:15:06,065 ARE YOU KIDDING? IT'LL BE GREAT. 423 00:15:06,149 --> 00:15:08,484 THERE'S GOING TO BE LOTS OF FREE FOOD. 424 00:15:08,568 --> 00:15:09,777 AND COOL KIDS. 425 00:15:09,861 --> 00:15:12,488 THEY'RE THE BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE. 426 00:15:12,572 --> 00:15:15,992 IT'S LIKE YOU WERE BORN LUCKY OR SOMETHING, ARNOLD. 427 00:15:16,075 --> 00:15:17,243 WITH A SILVER FORK IN YOUR MOUTH. 428 00:15:17,327 --> 00:15:19,203 YEAH, JUST GO. 429 00:15:19,287 --> 00:15:20,413 I GOT PLANS TONIGHT ANYWAY. 430 00:15:20,496 --> 00:15:22,540 YEAH, GO. GO. 431 00:15:22,624 --> 00:15:24,375 TELL US WHAT IT WAS LIKE, FOOTBALL HEAD. 432 00:15:24,459 --> 00:15:25,585 COME ON, YOU GUYS. 433 00:15:25,668 --> 00:15:28,504 LET'S GO THROW ROCKS AT A DUMPSTER. 434 00:15:28,588 --> 00:15:29,922 ( all grumbling ) 435 00:15:33,176 --> 00:15:34,469 ( rings doorbell ) 436 00:15:35,762 --> 00:15:36,638 ARNOLD, DOLL. 437 00:15:36,721 --> 00:15:37,347 CIAO, WON'T YOU COME IN? 438 00:15:37,430 --> 00:15:38,723 ARNOLD, THE DOLL? 439 00:15:38,806 --> 00:15:43,269 ARNOLD, YOU OF COURSE KNOW NADINE AND KATRINKA. 440 00:15:43,353 --> 00:15:46,481 BUT PLEASE MEET REX SMYTHE-HIGGINS III. 441 00:15:46,564 --> 00:15:50,360 THERE'S CUCUMBER SANDWICHES AND LADYFINGERS ON THE BUFFET. 442 00:15:50,443 --> 00:15:50,443 HELP YOURSELF. 443 00:15:50,443 --> 00:15:50,704 THANKS. 444 00:15:50,704 --> 00:15:50,704 HELP YOURSELF. 445 00:15:50,704 --> 00:15:51,611 THANKS. 446 00:15:51,694 --> 00:15:53,363 I'VE BEEN TO ENGLAND. 447 00:15:53,446 --> 00:15:53,780 MY SECOND COUSIN LIVES THERE. 448 00:15:53,863 --> 00:15:55,239 SHE'S A DUCHESS. 449 00:15:55,323 --> 00:15:57,283 HEY, ARNOLD. 450 00:15:57,367 --> 00:15:59,035 HEY, PARK, HEY, PEAPOD. 451 00:15:59,118 --> 00:15:59,410 HAVING ANY FUN? 452 00:15:59,494 --> 00:16:01,371 NOT REALLY. 453 00:16:01,454 --> 00:16:02,664 WE'RE PRETENDING TO EAT 454 00:16:02,747 --> 00:16:04,874 TILL WE HAVE TO GO LISTEN TO RHONDA 455 00:16:04,957 --> 00:16:07,126 TALK ABOUT HER VACATION IN EUROPE. 456 00:16:07,210 --> 00:16:08,044 A TOAST POINT? 457 00:16:08,127 --> 00:16:09,921 WHAT DOES SHE DO WITH THE REST OF THE TOAST? 458 00:16:10,004 --> 00:16:13,466 DONATES IT TO THE AWKWARD AND UNFASHIONABLE? 459 00:16:13,549 --> 00:16:14,509 SOME COOL PARTY. 460 00:16:14,592 --> 00:16:16,386 YEAH, IT'S A REAL BLAST. 461 00:16:16,469 --> 00:16:18,346 I'M SO GLAD I INVITED 462 00:16:18,429 --> 00:16:20,348 ONLY THE COOL KIDS. 463 00:16:20,431 --> 00:16:22,308 WHAT'S THE POINT OF HAVING A PARTY 464 00:16:22,392 --> 00:16:23,685 IF YOU INVITE GEEKS? 465 00:16:23,768 --> 00:16:25,812 THEY'RE AN EMBARRASSMENT, REALLY. 466 00:16:25,895 --> 00:16:27,855 LIKE, EUGENE-- HE'S SUCH A GEEK 467 00:16:27,939 --> 00:16:31,234 HE TUCKS HIS SHIRT INTO HIS UNDERPANTS. 468 00:16:31,317 --> 00:16:33,695 AND HAROLD? OH, OH, PLEASE. 469 00:16:33,778 --> 00:16:34,779 THE WAY HE EATS. 470 00:16:34,862 --> 00:16:36,698 I CAN'T BEAR TO BE IN THE SAME LUNCHROOM. 471 00:16:36,781 --> 00:16:39,283 AND STINKY-- WHERE DID HE LEARN ENGLISH? 472 00:16:39,367 --> 00:16:41,244 GREEN ACRES? 473 00:16:41,327 --> 00:16:43,204 ( laughter ) 474 00:16:45,331 --> 00:16:46,999 ARNOLD, WHERE ARE YOU GOING? 475 00:16:47,083 --> 00:16:48,751 UM, SUDDENLY I'M NOT FEELING 476 00:16:48,835 --> 00:16:50,586 COOL ENOUGH FOR THIS PARTY. 477 00:16:50,670 --> 00:16:52,547 BUT THANKS FOR INVITING ME. 478 00:16:52,630 --> 00:16:55,049 I THINK I'M GOING TO GO. 479 00:16:56,175 --> 00:16:58,261 FINE, BE THAT WAY. 480 00:16:58,344 --> 00:17:00,763 THEN YOU'RE OFF MY COOL LIST. 481 00:17:00,847 --> 00:17:01,806 NADINE? 482 00:17:05,351 --> 00:17:07,437 GEEK. 483 00:17:08,938 --> 00:17:10,064 HEY, ARNOLD. 484 00:17:10,148 --> 00:17:11,691 BACK FROM THE COOL PARTY? 485 00:17:11,774 --> 00:17:12,608 YEAH. 486 00:17:12,692 --> 00:17:14,819 BASICALLY IT STUNK, SO I LEFT. 487 00:17:14,902 --> 00:17:16,112 WANT TO DO SOMETHING? 488 00:17:16,195 --> 00:17:16,946 YOU HAD PLANS TONIGHT. 489 00:17:17,029 --> 00:17:20,283 I MADE THAT UP SO YOU WOULDN'T FEEL BAD 490 00:17:20,366 --> 00:17:22,243 ABOUT GOING TO RHONDA'S PARTY. 491 00:17:23,327 --> 00:17:25,204 WANT TO GO THROW ROCKS AT HELGA 492 00:17:25,288 --> 00:17:26,122 THROWING ROCKS AT A DUMPSTER? 493 00:17:26,205 --> 00:17:27,373 SURE. 494 00:17:27,457 --> 00:17:30,418 YES! I GOT IT. 495 00:17:31,377 --> 00:17:32,378 HEY, YOU GUYS. 496 00:17:32,462 --> 00:17:33,337 LOOK, IT'S ARNOLD. 497 00:17:33,421 --> 00:17:37,008 BACK FROM HIS VISIT WITH THEM BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE. 498 00:17:37,091 --> 00:17:39,594 SO, HOW WAS THE COOL PARTY, FOOTBALL HEAD? 499 00:17:39,677 --> 00:17:41,929 YOU DIDN'T MISS ANYTHING. 500 00:17:42,013 --> 00:17:44,515 BUT WE'RE STILL MAD AT RHONDA FOR NOT INVITING US. 501 00:17:44,599 --> 00:17:46,642 ( rock bangs ) 502 00:17:46,726 --> 00:17:49,479 AND WE'RE REALLY, REALLY MAD AT HER 503 00:17:49,562 --> 00:17:52,023 FOR PUTTING US ON HER GEEK LIST. 504 00:17:52,106 --> 00:17:54,817 IT'S LIKE WE HAVE ALL THIS UNFOCUSED RAGE. 505 00:17:54,901 --> 00:17:56,486 I WISH WE COULD DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. 506 00:17:56,569 --> 00:17:58,821 I SAY WE ALL GO OVER 507 00:17:58,905 --> 00:18:01,491 CRASH RHONDA'S PARTY AND EAT ALL HER FOOD. 508 00:18:01,574 --> 00:18:03,409 ( cheering ) 509 00:18:03,493 --> 00:18:05,870 I SAY WE GET A CARLOAD OF HORSE MANURE 510 00:18:05,953 --> 00:18:07,789 AND LEAVE IT ON HER PORCH! 511 00:18:07,872 --> 00:18:09,081 ( cheering ) 512 00:18:09,165 --> 00:18:10,500 I SAY WE PAINT OURSELVES 513 00:18:10,583 --> 00:18:11,334 WITH TIGER STRIPES 514 00:18:11,417 --> 00:18:13,252 AND FREE ALL THE ANIMALS AT THE ZOO! 515 00:18:16,923 --> 00:18:19,509 FINE, WE'LL MEET YOU THERE IN AN HOUR. 516 00:18:19,592 --> 00:18:21,511 HOORAY! 517 00:18:21,594 --> 00:18:23,679 ( laughing like a maniac ) 518 00:18:23,763 --> 00:18:24,597 POOR, TWISTED LITTLE FREAK. 519 00:18:24,680 --> 00:18:27,016 HEY, I'VE GOT AN IDEA. 520 00:18:27,099 --> 00:18:28,226 OH, BROTHER. 521 00:18:28,309 --> 00:18:30,686 WHAT'S YOUR NOBEL PRIZE-WINNING IDEA, GOOF WAD? 522 00:18:30,770 --> 00:18:33,689 HOW ABOUT WE ALL GO TO MY PLACE 523 00:18:33,773 --> 00:18:36,234 GO UP ON THE ROOF AND HAVE A GEEK PARTY? 524 00:18:36,317 --> 00:18:37,610 EVERYBODY'S INVITED. 525 00:18:37,693 --> 00:18:40,780 GEEK PARTY AT ARNOLD'S HOUSE! 526 00:18:40,863 --> 00:18:45,118 ( playing rocking music ) 527 00:18:49,372 --> 00:18:54,293 AND THEN MY MOTHER INGESTED SOME BAD PATE DE FOIE GRAS 528 00:18:54,377 --> 00:18:56,754 AND WE HAD TO MOTOR ON TO CANNES. 529 00:18:56,838 --> 00:18:58,047 OH, CANNES-- IT WAS INSANE. 530 00:18:58,130 --> 00:19:00,758 EXCUSE ME, DO YOU HAVE ANY ACETAMINOPHEN? 531 00:19:00,842 --> 00:19:03,594 WHAT IS THAT NOISE OUTSIDE? 532 00:19:03,678 --> 00:19:04,971 CLOSE THE WINDOW. 533 00:19:05,054 --> 00:19:06,848 WHERE ARE YOU TWO GOING? 534 00:19:06,931 --> 00:19:07,890 WE'LL BE BACK. 535 00:19:07,974 --> 00:19:10,560 WE WANT TO SEE WHAT'S GOING ON OUTSIDE. 536 00:19:10,643 --> 00:19:12,228 ( music and chatter ) 537 00:19:12,311 --> 00:19:15,022 I DON'T THINK THEY'RE COMING BACK. 538 00:19:15,106 --> 00:19:17,275 THEY'RE GOING TO ARNOLD'S HOUSE. 539 00:19:17,358 --> 00:19:19,068 THEY'RE OFF THE LIST. 540 00:19:19,151 --> 00:19:21,571 SOMETHING'S GOING ON AT ARNOLD'S. 541 00:19:21,654 --> 00:19:23,573 SOME KIND OF BIZARRE HAPPENING. 542 00:19:23,656 --> 00:19:25,116 IT LOOKS A LOT MORE FUN THAN THIS. 543 00:19:25,199 --> 00:19:28,327 HERE, HERE, LET'S BID A HASTY RETREAT. 544 00:19:28,411 --> 00:19:32,081 UM, RHONDA, I'M TERRIBLY, TERRIBLY, TERRIBLY SORRY. 545 00:19:32,164 --> 00:19:34,542 MY HEADACHE HAS ACTUALLY GROWN WORSE 546 00:19:34,625 --> 00:19:35,751 AND I FEAR I MUST TAKE MY LEAVE. 547 00:19:35,835 --> 00:19:38,212 I'D BETTER GO WITH HIM. 548 00:19:38,296 --> 00:19:38,796 MAKE SURE HE'S OKAY. 549 00:19:38,880 --> 00:19:42,174 THANKS FOR THE TOAST POINTS. 550 00:19:42,258 --> 00:19:44,093 COME ON, LET'S GO TO ARNOLD'S. 551 00:19:44,176 --> 00:19:45,761 I HEAR YOU ON THAT ONE. 552 00:19:45,845 --> 00:19:48,264 PARK AND PEAPOD, KID. 553 00:19:48,347 --> 00:19:48,598 NO LONGER COOL. 554 00:19:48,681 --> 00:19:50,600 OFF THE LIST. 555 00:19:50,683 --> 00:19:53,728 HEY, FOURTH GRADER, WHAT'S GOING ON? 556 00:19:53,811 --> 00:19:56,063 PARTY AT ARNOLD'S HOUSE! 557 00:19:56,147 --> 00:19:57,273 COME ON, LET'S GO. 558 00:19:57,356 --> 00:19:58,774 THEY'RE FOURTH GRADERS. 559 00:19:58,858 --> 00:19:58,858 IF WE WENT, WOULDN'T WE BE UNCOOL? 560 00:19:58,858 --> 00:20:01,944 NO. 561 00:20:02,028 --> 00:20:02,820 WHY NOT? 562 00:20:02,904 --> 00:20:04,113 BECAUSE, UH, WE ARE SO COOL 563 00:20:04,196 --> 00:20:07,742 THAT EVEN IF WE GO TO AN UNCOOL PARTY 564 00:20:07,825 --> 00:20:09,410 WE'LL STILL BE COOL. 565 00:20:09,493 --> 00:20:12,121 WOW, WOLFGANG, YOU'RE REALLY SMART. 566 00:20:12,205 --> 00:20:13,831 DUH... COME ON. 567 00:20:13,915 --> 00:20:16,250 LET'S GO. 568 00:20:16,334 --> 00:20:19,545 ( music and chatter... ) 569 00:20:19,629 --> 00:20:25,384 ( scratching, zydeco jazz fusion music... ) 570 00:20:27,345 --> 00:20:28,471 ( applause ) 571 00:20:30,681 --> 00:20:31,891 ( grunts, splashes ) 572 00:20:31,974 --> 00:20:32,767 I'M OKAY. 573 00:20:32,850 --> 00:20:34,769 ( music continues... ) 574 00:20:37,939 --> 00:20:40,900 I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS IS HAPPENING TO ME. 575 00:20:40,983 --> 00:20:44,236 EVERYONE'S LEFT THE PARTY BUT YOU, ME AND KATRINKA. 576 00:20:44,320 --> 00:20:46,238 ACTUALLY, KATRINKA JUST LEFT. 577 00:20:46,322 --> 00:20:47,448 WHAT? 578 00:20:47,531 --> 00:20:48,658 FINE. 579 00:20:48,741 --> 00:20:50,326 KATRINKA IS OFF THE LIST. 580 00:20:50,409 --> 00:20:51,077 MAYBE I'LL GO CHECK OUT 581 00:20:51,160 --> 00:20:54,038 WHAT'S GOING ON AT ARNOLD'S HOUSE. 582 00:20:54,121 --> 00:20:56,040 NADINE, YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS. 583 00:20:56,123 --> 00:20:56,624 YOU'RE MY BEST FRIEND. 584 00:20:56,707 --> 00:20:59,418 THIS IS VERY UNCOOL. 585 00:20:59,502 --> 00:21:01,003 I'M SORRY, I HAVE NO CHOICE. 586 00:21:01,087 --> 00:21:04,799 I'M PUTTING YOU ON THE GEEK LIST. 587 00:21:04,882 --> 00:21:07,468 WELL, YOU WANTED TO HAVE A PARTY FOR ONLY THE COOL KIDS 588 00:21:07,551 --> 00:21:11,514 NOW THAT YOU'VE CROSSED EVERYBODY OFF THE COOL LIST 589 00:21:11,597 --> 00:21:13,849 EXCEPT YOURSELF-- YOU'RE THE ONLY COOL KID LEFT. 590 00:21:13,933 --> 00:21:16,686 I'M GOING TO ARNOLD'S. 591 00:21:16,769 --> 00:21:18,604 ENJOY THE REST OF YOUR PARTY. 592 00:21:20,731 --> 00:21:22,566 I'M TAKING MY BOWL, OKAY? 593 00:21:24,318 --> 00:21:26,529 HI, STOOP KID, HOW YOU DOING? 594 00:21:26,612 --> 00:21:28,197 THERE'S FOOD AND PUNCH. 595 00:21:28,280 --> 00:21:30,700 MAN, EVERYBODY CAME, ARNOLD. 596 00:21:30,783 --> 00:21:33,035 A FIVE, SIX, SEVEN, EIGHT 597 00:21:33,119 --> 00:21:33,995 AND JUMP! 598 00:21:34,078 --> 00:21:36,664 PRETTY GEEKY PARTY, FOOTBALL HEAD. 599 00:21:36,747 --> 00:21:38,541 YUP, IT'S NEARLY PERFECT. 600 00:21:38,624 --> 00:21:40,042 NEARLY PERFECT? 601 00:21:40,126 --> 00:21:41,502 ( door opening ) 602 00:21:42,920 --> 00:21:44,255 NOW IT'S PERFECT. 603 00:21:44,338 --> 00:21:45,381 UH, HI, GERALD. 604 00:21:45,464 --> 00:21:46,382 HI, ARNOLD. 605 00:21:46,465 --> 00:21:48,175 I BROUGHT SOME SANDWICHES. 606 00:21:48,259 --> 00:21:50,177 CAN I COME TO YOUR PARTY? 607 00:21:50,886 --> 00:21:52,930 WELL, I DON'T KNOW. 608 00:21:53,014 --> 00:21:53,889 LET ME SEE. 609 00:21:53,973 --> 00:21:55,307 SORRY, THIS PARTY... 610 00:21:55,391 --> 00:21:56,475 IS FOR GEEKS ONLY. 611 00:21:56,559 --> 00:21:59,979 AND YOU DON'T SEEM TO BE ON THE GEEK LIST. 612 00:22:00,062 --> 00:22:01,731 PERHAPS YOU'RE ON THE OTHER LIST? 613 00:22:01,814 --> 00:22:04,650 THE "COOL" LIST. 614 00:22:06,569 --> 00:22:07,570 ( softly ): I... WANT TO BE A GEEK. 615 00:22:07,653 --> 00:22:10,072 WHAT WAS THAT? 616 00:22:10,156 --> 00:22:11,907 I WANT TO BE A GEEK. 617 00:22:11,991 --> 00:22:13,951 I CAN'T HEAR YOU. 618 00:22:14,618 --> 00:22:16,829 ( scratches, music stops ) 619 00:22:23,377 --> 00:22:25,504 I WANT TO BE A GEEK! 620 00:22:25,588 --> 00:22:27,214 ( all cheering ) 621 00:22:27,298 --> 00:22:27,757 ( music resumes ) 622 00:22:27,840 --> 00:22:28,632 OKAY, RHONDA. 623 00:22:28,716 --> 00:22:30,926 COME ON IN. 624 00:22:31,010 --> 00:22:33,637 I MEAN, I WANT TO BE A GEEK TONIGHT ONLY. 625 00:22:33,721 --> 00:22:36,223 TOMORROW, I'M GOING TO BE COOL AGAIN. 626 00:22:39,060 --> 00:22:39,769 ( hysterical laughter ) 627 00:22:39,852 --> 00:22:41,395 FREE THE ANIMALS! 628 00:22:50,654 --> 00:22:53,949 [Captioning sponsored by THE U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION 629 00:22:54,033 --> 00:22:57,953 and NICKELODEON 41409

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