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Helga:
ARNOLD!
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00:00:02,871 --> 00:00:04,415
( barking )
3
00:00:05,416 --> 00:00:06,750
HEY, ARNOLD!
4
00:00:11,588 --> 00:00:13,132
( glass shatters )
5
00:00:16,677 --> 00:00:17,636
( girl shrieks )
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00:00:17,720 --> 00:00:20,514
Helga:
HEY, ARNOLD!
7
00:00:21,348 --> 00:00:23,642
ARNOLD!
8
00:00:24,393 --> 00:00:26,478
ARNOLD!
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00:00:26,770 --> 00:00:29,606
ARNOLD!
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00:00:29,690 --> 00:00:33,444
[Captioning sponsored by THE
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
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00:00:33,527 --> 00:00:35,863
and NICKELODEON]
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00:00:37,364 --> 00:00:39,032
AR-NOLD!
13
00:00:39,658 --> 00:00:41,660
MOVE IT,
FOOTBALL HEAD!
14
00:00:41,744 --> 00:00:43,787
Kids:
HEY, ARNOLD!
15
00:00:53,672 --> 00:00:55,507
Helga:
WHY'D YOU BUNT, ARNOLD?
16
00:00:55,591 --> 00:00:57,801
WOLFGANG THREW YOU A CREAM PUFF.
17
00:00:57,885 --> 00:01:00,637
YOU COULD HAVE KNOCKED IT
OUT OF THE PARK.
18
00:01:00,721 --> 00:01:02,639
IT WAS THE RIGHT
PLAY, HELGA.
19
00:01:02,723 --> 00:01:04,183
IGGY WAS ON THIRD.
20
00:01:04,266 --> 00:01:06,059
HE WAS THE GO AHEAD RUN.
21
00:01:06,143 --> 00:01:08,437
SOMETIMES YOU SACRIFICE TO WIN.
22
00:01:08,520 --> 00:01:11,315
WELL, THAT'S A GREAT THEORY,
FOOTBALL HEAD
23
00:01:11,398 --> 00:01:12,691
EXCEPT FOR ONE THING.
24
00:01:12,775 --> 00:01:13,650
WE LOST!
25
00:01:13,734 --> 00:01:15,319
WINNING ISN'T EVERYTHING.
26
00:01:15,402 --> 00:01:17,237
MORE IMPORTANTLY,
WE'RE A TEAM.
27
00:01:17,321 --> 00:01:19,364
IT'S IMPORTANT
TO STICK TOGETHER
28
00:01:19,448 --> 00:01:20,491
WHETHER YOU WIN
OR LOSE, RIGHT?
29
00:01:20,574 --> 00:01:22,701
YEAH, RIGHT, ARNOLD.
30
00:01:22,785 --> 00:01:24,453
SEE YOU IN THE FUNNY PAPERS,
LOSER.
31
00:01:24,536 --> 00:01:28,332
SEE YOU, ARNOLD.
32
00:01:28,415 --> 00:01:29,541
SEE YOU, STINKY.
33
00:01:29,625 --> 00:01:31,126
ARNIE, WHERE HAVE
YOU BEEN?
34
00:01:31,210 --> 00:01:31,877
COACH WITTENBERG?
35
00:01:31,960 --> 00:01:33,754
I LOOKED ALL OVER FOR YOU.
36
00:01:33,837 --> 00:01:34,713
REPETITIVELY.
37
00:01:34,797 --> 00:01:36,340
I WAS PLAYING BASEBALL.
38
00:01:36,423 --> 00:01:39,176
I WENT FOR THE SACRIFICE BUNT,
BUT WE LOST.
39
00:01:39,259 --> 00:01:41,929
HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I SAID,
REPETITIVELY:
40
00:01:42,012 --> 00:01:44,181
SACRIFICE PLAYS ARE FOR LOSERS?
41
00:01:44,264 --> 00:01:46,099
THE IMPORTANT THING
IS TO WIN!
42
00:01:46,183 --> 00:01:47,851
WINNING IS EVERYTHING!
43
00:01:47,935 --> 00:01:49,019
UH, RIGHT, COACH.
44
00:01:49,102 --> 00:01:51,188
I NEED TO TALK TO YOU
ABOUT SOMETHING
45
00:01:51,271 --> 00:01:52,731
CONVERSATIONALLY
SPEAKING.
46
00:01:52,815 --> 00:01:54,691
TISH AND I ARE GETTING
REMARRIED AGAIN
47
00:01:54,775 --> 00:01:55,567
FOR A SECOND TIME,
THIS SATURDAY.
48
00:01:55,651 --> 00:01:57,611
THAT'S GREAT, COACH.
49
00:01:57,694 --> 00:01:59,279
AND I WANT YOU
TO BE MY BEST MAN.
50
00:01:59,363 --> 00:02:00,989
ME?
51
00:02:01,073 --> 00:02:01,740
RIGHT, ARNIE.
52
00:02:01,824 --> 00:02:02,699
BUT, WHY ME?
53
00:02:02,783 --> 00:02:03,575
A GUY'S BEST MAN
SHOULD BE
54
00:02:03,659 --> 00:02:05,953
HIS BEST FRIEND, RIGHT?
55
00:02:06,036 --> 00:02:07,871
FROM MY LIST
OF ALL MY FRIENDS
56
00:02:07,955 --> 00:02:09,456
I CAME TO ONE CONCLUSION.
57
00:02:09,540 --> 00:02:09,873
WHAT'S THAT?
58
00:02:09,957 --> 00:02:11,250
I DON'T HAVE ANY.
59
00:02:11,333 --> 00:02:12,251
EXCEPT YOU, ARNIE.
60
00:02:12,334 --> 00:02:13,877
YOU CAPTAINED
MY BOWLING TEAM.
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00:02:13,961 --> 00:02:15,629
YOU TAUGHT ME THAT
PSYCHO, COLLEGE-Y JAZZ.
62
00:02:15,712 --> 00:02:18,674
YOU ALWAYS BELIEVED
IN ME.
63
00:02:18,757 --> 00:02:21,343
YOU'RE MY ONLY REAL TRUE FRIEND,
ARNIE.
64
00:02:21,426 --> 00:02:23,554
AND I WANT YOU
TO BE MY BEST MAN.
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00:02:23,637 --> 00:02:24,763
WHAT DO YOU SAY?
66
00:02:24,847 --> 00:02:25,806
OKAY, COACH.
67
00:02:25,889 --> 00:02:26,765
GREAT!
68
00:02:26,849 --> 00:02:27,724
WHAT DO I DO?
69
00:02:27,808 --> 00:02:29,184
A FEW SIMPLE THINGS:
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00:02:29,268 --> 00:02:30,602
INVITE YOUR FRIENDS.
71
00:02:30,686 --> 00:02:32,813
WE NEED SOME USHERS,
A RING BEARER.
72
00:02:32,896 --> 00:02:34,648
AND HELP ME PICK OUT
MONKEY SUITS.
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00:02:34,731 --> 00:02:35,566
I'LL WRITE THIS DOWN.
74
00:02:35,649 --> 00:02:38,902
GOOD THINKING, ARNIE.
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00:02:38,986 --> 00:02:40,028
SO ANYWAY, HELGA.
76
00:02:40,112 --> 00:02:42,364
SINCE YOU CAPTAINED
MY BOWLING TEAM
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00:02:42,447 --> 00:02:43,574
AND MY COUSIN CONNIE'S
OUT OF TOWN
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00:02:43,657 --> 00:02:45,576
I WANT YOU TO BE
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00:02:45,659 --> 00:02:48,036
MY MAID OF HONOR
ON SATURDAY.
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00:02:48,120 --> 00:02:49,538
GEE, TISH,
WOULD I WEAR
81
00:02:49,621 --> 00:02:52,082
A FANCY-LOOKING DRESS
WITH BOWS AND LACE
82
00:02:52,165 --> 00:02:53,792
AND FRILLY LITTLE
DOODADS?
83
00:02:53,876 --> 00:02:54,585
OH, YEAH.
84
00:02:54,668 --> 00:02:55,752
YOU KNOW, I THINK
85
00:02:55,836 --> 00:02:56,962
I'M BUSY SATURDAY.
86
00:02:57,045 --> 00:02:59,631
OH, WELL, THAT'S TOO BAD, 'CAUSE
87
00:02:59,715 --> 00:03:02,467
ARNOLD'S GOING TO BE
THE COACH'S BEST MAN.
88
00:03:02,551 --> 00:03:03,677
ARNOLD?
89
00:03:03,760 --> 00:03:05,804
I THOUGHT IT
WOULD HAVE BEEN CUTE
90
00:03:05,888 --> 00:03:08,640
TO WATCH YOU TWO
WALK DOWN THE AISLE TOGETHER.
91
00:03:08,724 --> 00:03:11,476
( joyful organ music )
92
00:03:11,560 --> 00:03:14,104
Minister:
DO YOU, HELGA, TAKE ARNOLD
93
00:03:14,187 --> 00:03:16,440
AS YOUR LAWFULLY WEDDED HUSBAND?
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00:03:16,523 --> 00:03:18,066
I DO.
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00:03:18,150 --> 00:03:19,067
I DO.
96
00:03:19,151 --> 00:03:20,027
I DO.
97
00:03:20,110 --> 00:03:21,361
OH, I DO.
98
00:03:21,445 --> 00:03:22,905
YOU DO WHAT?
99
00:03:22,988 --> 00:03:25,616
WHY ARE YOU SCREAMING,
"I DO, I DO"?
100
00:03:25,699 --> 00:03:27,993
UM, BECAUSE I DO
101
00:03:28,076 --> 00:03:30,495
AGREE TO BE YOUR
MAID OF HONOR.
102
00:03:30,579 --> 00:03:32,122
( giggles nervously )
103
00:03:34,166 --> 00:03:35,709
WE LOOK LIKE
UNDERTAKERS.
104
00:03:35,792 --> 00:03:36,919
SHUCKS, I LIKE IT.
105
00:03:37,002 --> 00:03:39,838
I RECKON I'LL
KEEP IT OVER
106
00:03:39,922 --> 00:03:43,258
A COUPLE EXTRA DAYS AND
WEAR IT TO SCHOOL ON MONDAY.
107
00:03:43,342 --> 00:03:44,927
STINKY, YOU'RE
A WEIRD KID.
108
00:03:45,010 --> 00:03:48,221
I KNOW, BUT
I LOOK SNAZZY.
109
00:03:48,305 --> 00:03:50,057
I LOOK LIKE A MORON.
110
00:03:50,140 --> 00:03:52,476
WE'LL MAKE
SOME ALTERCATIONS
111
00:03:52,559 --> 00:03:54,353
AND YOU'LL LOOK
LIKE AN ANGEL.
112
00:03:54,436 --> 00:03:55,812
"ALTERCATIONS," HUH?
113
00:03:55,896 --> 00:03:56,772
IT'S FUNNY,
YOU REMIND ME OF ME
114
00:03:56,855 --> 00:03:58,065
WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE.
115
00:03:58,148 --> 00:04:00,567
CLUMSY, AWKWARD, BIG FEET,
ALWAYS SCOWLING--
116
00:04:00,651 --> 00:04:02,027
WHAT'S YOUR POINT?
117
00:04:02,110 --> 00:04:04,988
I WAS ABOUT YOUR AGE
WHEN I MET JACK
118
00:04:05,072 --> 00:04:06,823
AND I ALWAYS HAD
A THING FOR HIM.
119
00:04:06,907 --> 00:04:09,284
BUT I WAS TOO SHY
TO SAY.
120
00:04:09,368 --> 00:04:11,328
SO I MADE FUN
OF HIM
121
00:04:11,411 --> 00:04:12,621
CALLED HIM NAMES
122
00:04:12,704 --> 00:04:14,498
SO NOBODY WOULD KNOW
I LIKED HIM.
123
00:04:14,581 --> 00:04:15,874
I ALWAYS
CHALLENGED HIM
124
00:04:15,958 --> 00:04:17,376
AT GAMES AND SPORTS.
125
00:04:17,459 --> 00:04:18,835
JACK HATES TO LOSE.
126
00:04:18,919 --> 00:04:20,879
BUT ONCE, WE PLAYED
WHACK-A-MOLE
127
00:04:20,963 --> 00:04:23,465
DOWN AT THE BOARDWALK
AND HE LET ME WIN.
128
00:04:23,548 --> 00:04:24,257
NOW HE DIDN'T KNOW I KNEW
129
00:04:24,341 --> 00:04:27,260
THAT HE LET ME WIN
AND I SAID NOTHING.
130
00:04:27,344 --> 00:04:30,222
THAT'S WHEN I KNEW HE
LIKED ME LIKE I LIKED HIM.
131
00:04:30,305 --> 00:04:33,934
AND EVER SINCE THEN,
WE'VE BEEN LIKE THIS.
132
00:04:34,017 --> 00:04:34,935
AND NOW WE'LL
REMARRY AGAIN
133
00:04:35,018 --> 00:04:37,521
REPETITIVELY,
A SECOND TIME.
134
00:04:37,604 --> 00:04:39,022
WHEN I THINK ABOUT HIM
135
00:04:39,106 --> 00:04:41,775
I START FEELING
ALL GOOFY INSIDE.
136
00:04:41,858 --> 00:04:43,026
SOMEDAY WHEN YOU
GET MARRIED, HELGA
137
00:04:43,110 --> 00:04:46,071
YOU'LL FEEL ALL GOOFY
ABOUT SOME GUY.
138
00:04:46,154 --> 00:04:48,699
WHAT, ARE YOU KIDDING?
NOT ME, SISTER!
139
00:04:48,782 --> 00:04:50,993
I'LL NEVER FEEL GOOFY
ABOUT ANY GUY.
140
00:04:51,076 --> 00:04:52,577
I HATE THAT MUSHY STUFF.
141
00:04:52,661 --> 00:04:54,496
AND I'M NEVER
GETTING MARRIED.
142
00:04:59,918 --> 00:05:01,294
I DO.
143
00:05:01,378 --> 00:05:03,588
I DO, I DO
144
00:05:03,672 --> 00:05:05,007
I DO, I DO!
145
00:05:05,090 --> 00:05:08,760
WHY ARE YOU SCREAMING,
"I DO, I DO"?
146
00:05:08,844 --> 00:05:12,305
BECAUSE I... DO REALLY
LOVE THIS DRESS.
147
00:05:12,389 --> 00:05:14,182
( giggles nervously )
148
00:05:15,017 --> 00:05:16,393
Coach:
THAT'S THE ONE.
149
00:05:16,476 --> 00:05:19,187
IN THE MIDDLE
WITH THE REAL BIG DIAMOND.
150
00:05:19,271 --> 00:05:19,771
IT'S $6,000.
151
00:05:19,855 --> 00:05:21,940
I MEANT THE ONE NEXT TO IT
152
00:05:22,024 --> 00:05:24,401
WITH THE REAL SMALL
CUBIC ZIRCONIUM.
153
00:05:24,484 --> 00:05:25,402
THAT'S $450.
154
00:05:25,485 --> 00:05:27,571
( groans )
155
00:05:27,654 --> 00:05:28,071
THIS IS THE ONE.
156
00:05:28,155 --> 00:05:29,448
THAT'S 25 CENTS,
COACH.
157
00:05:29,531 --> 00:05:31,408
PERFECT!
158
00:05:31,491 --> 00:05:32,576
TISH'LL LOVE IT.
159
00:05:32,659 --> 00:05:34,244
YOU KNOW, ARNIE,
TISH MEANS A LOT TO ME.
160
00:05:34,328 --> 00:05:38,749
THERE ARE TWO THINGS OF
UTMOST IMPOTENCE TO ME:
161
00:05:38,832 --> 00:05:39,708
TISH AND WINNING.
162
00:05:39,791 --> 00:05:42,711
Arnold:
BUT TISH IS THE
MOST IMPORTANT, RIGHT?
163
00:05:42,794 --> 00:05:43,295
Coach:
NO, ARNIE
164
00:05:43,378 --> 00:05:45,172
WINNING IS
MOST IMPORTANT.
165
00:05:45,255 --> 00:05:46,590
YOU KNOW THAT.
166
00:05:46,673 --> 00:05:48,550
BUT TISH IS A CLOSE SECOND.
167
00:05:48,633 --> 00:05:49,342
AND THEN AIR HOCKEY.
168
00:05:49,426 --> 00:05:51,887
AIR HOCKEY'S THIRD,
MAYBE SECOND.
169
00:05:51,970 --> 00:05:54,222
NO, TISH IS SECOND...
WELL, IT'S CLOSE.
170
00:05:54,306 --> 00:05:56,099
WINNING, AIR HOCKEY,
AND TISH.
171
00:05:56,183 --> 00:05:58,226
THEY'RE ALL IN
THE TOP THREE.
172
00:05:58,310 --> 00:06:01,104
WELL, ARNIE, TONIGHT'S
THE REHEARSAL DINNER
173
00:06:01,188 --> 00:06:03,190
THEN TOMORROW'S
THE BIG DAY.
174
00:06:04,066 --> 00:06:06,318
GREAT REHEARSAL, ARNIE.
175
00:06:06,401 --> 00:06:07,069
OUR DEFENSE
WAS DEFENSIVE
176
00:06:07,152 --> 00:06:09,529
OUR OFFENSE
WAS OFFENSIVE
177
00:06:09,613 --> 00:06:10,739
AND OUR MAN-TO-MAN
USHER COVERAGE
178
00:06:10,822 --> 00:06:11,782
WAS IN THE ZONE.
179
00:06:11,865 --> 00:06:14,117
EVERYTHING WENT GREAT.
180
00:06:14,201 --> 00:06:15,077
NOTHING COULD GO WRONG NOW.
181
00:06:15,160 --> 00:06:18,330
ARE YOU GOING TO EAT
ALL THAT, JACK?
182
00:06:18,413 --> 00:06:19,539
YEAH, I'LL EAT IT.
183
00:06:19,623 --> 00:06:20,791
THAT'S WHY I PUT IT ON MY PLATE.
184
00:06:20,874 --> 00:06:22,626
YOU CAN'T EAT ALL THAT.
185
00:06:22,709 --> 00:06:23,794
OF COURSE I CAN.
186
00:06:23,877 --> 00:06:25,712
AND WHAT'S MORE
187
00:06:25,796 --> 00:06:26,922
I BET YOU I CAN
CLEAN MY PLATE
188
00:06:27,005 --> 00:06:29,341
FASTER THAN YOU CAN.
189
00:06:29,424 --> 00:06:29,966
YOU'RE ON.
190
00:06:30,050 --> 00:06:31,134
YOU'RE ON!
191
00:06:36,723 --> 00:06:38,475
SCORE! I BEAT YOU, JACK.
192
00:06:38,558 --> 00:06:39,976
THAT'S JUST THE FIRST ROUND.
193
00:06:40,060 --> 00:06:42,604
FIRST ONE THROUGH A PLATE
OF CHICKEN WINGS WINS.
194
00:06:42,687 --> 00:06:42,687
YOU'RE ON!
195
00:06:42,687 --> 00:06:44,356
YOU'RE ON.
196
00:06:44,439 --> 00:06:46,149
I DON'T THINK
IT'S A GOOD IDEA
197
00:06:46,233 --> 00:06:47,984
TO COMPETE
WITH YOUR WIFE NOW.
198
00:06:48,068 --> 00:06:48,693
I CAN TAKE HER.
199
00:06:48,777 --> 00:06:48,777
BUT, COACH...
200
00:06:48,777 --> 00:06:50,946
SHE'S GOING DOWN!
201
00:06:51,029 --> 00:06:53,406
TWO FULL ORDERS
OF CHICKEN WINGS!
202
00:07:05,919 --> 00:07:08,088
( grunting )
203
00:07:26,523 --> 00:07:27,315
I WANT DO-OVERS.
204
00:07:27,399 --> 00:07:29,401
I BEAT YOU FAIR AND SQUARE, JACK
205
00:07:29,484 --> 00:07:31,111
IN FIVE OUT OF NINE EVENTS.
206
00:07:31,194 --> 00:07:32,904
WHY CAN'T YOU JUST ADMIT IT?
207
00:07:32,988 --> 00:07:33,989
I'M NUMBER ONE.
208
00:07:34,072 --> 00:07:34,698
NEVER!
209
00:07:34,781 --> 00:07:37,868
I'LL NEVER ADMIT
THAT, TISH.
210
00:07:37,951 --> 00:07:39,411
I CHALLENGE YOU
TO ONE GAME
211
00:07:39,494 --> 00:07:41,037
OF AIR HOCKEY
FOR THE WHOLE ENCHILADA.
212
00:07:41,121 --> 00:07:44,207
TOMORROW MORNING,
AT THE ARCADE.
213
00:07:44,291 --> 00:07:47,127
WHOSOEVER WINS
IS THE ALL-TIME CHAMPION
214
00:07:47,210 --> 00:07:48,295
AND NUMBER ONE.
215
00:07:48,378 --> 00:07:49,671
ALL RIGHT, JACK.
216
00:07:49,754 --> 00:07:52,799
WHOSOEVER WINS TOMORROW
IS THE BEST
217
00:07:52,883 --> 00:07:54,509
AND NO DO-OVERS.
218
00:07:54,593 --> 00:07:55,385
DEAL!
219
00:07:55,468 --> 00:07:56,052
BUT WHAT ABOUT
THE WEDDING?
220
00:07:56,136 --> 00:07:58,221
IT'S TOMORROW,
REMEMBER?
221
00:07:58,305 --> 00:07:59,681
IT WAS TOMORROW,
ARNIE.
222
00:07:59,764 --> 00:08:00,765
THAT'S RIGHT.
223
00:08:00,849 --> 00:08:02,559
AS OF THIS PRESENT
TIME AND MOMENT
224
00:08:02,642 --> 00:08:05,270
THE WEDDING IS OFF
TEMPORARILY AND FOREVER.
225
00:08:05,353 --> 00:08:08,231
YOU TOOK THE WORDS
RIGHT OUT OF MY MOUTH.
226
00:08:08,315 --> 00:08:10,734
I'LL MAKE YOU EAT THOSE
SAID WORDS TOMORROW, TISH.
227
00:08:10,817 --> 00:08:12,777
IN YOUR DREAMS.
228
00:08:15,405 --> 00:08:18,658
Arnold:
I JUST DON'T GET IT, COACH.
229
00:08:18,742 --> 00:08:20,660
WHAT'S SO IMPORTANT
ABOUT WINNING?
230
00:08:20,744 --> 00:08:21,620
I TOLD YOU:
231
00:08:21,703 --> 00:08:22,204
WINNING IS EVERYTHING.
232
00:08:22,287 --> 00:08:23,997
NOTHING'S MORE
IMPORTANT.
233
00:08:24,080 --> 00:08:24,956
AND TISH?
234
00:08:25,040 --> 00:08:25,749
TISH IS IMPORTANT.
235
00:08:25,832 --> 00:08:28,501
WINNING AND TISH,
TISH AND WINNING.
236
00:08:28,585 --> 00:08:30,045
THEY'RE ONE-TWO, ARNIE.
237
00:08:30,128 --> 00:08:30,420
BUT WHICH ONE?
238
00:08:30,503 --> 00:08:32,255
IT'S REAL CLOSE.
239
00:08:32,339 --> 00:08:33,423
BACK OFF!
240
00:08:33,506 --> 00:08:34,382
PICK ONE.
241
00:08:34,466 --> 00:08:35,592
I'D PICK TISH, OKAY?
242
00:08:35,675 --> 00:08:37,761
TISH, TISH, TISH, OKAY?
243
00:08:37,844 --> 00:08:39,596
BUT THAT'S ALL OVER,
ARNIE.
244
00:08:39,679 --> 00:08:39,888
THE WEDDING'S OFF.
245
00:08:39,971 --> 00:08:41,640
MAYBE NOT.
246
00:08:41,723 --> 00:08:43,099
IF YOU WANT TO WIN TISH BACK
247
00:08:43,183 --> 00:08:44,184
I KNOW A WAY.
248
00:08:44,267 --> 00:08:44,893
HOW?
249
00:08:44,976 --> 00:08:46,394
LOSE THE MATCH.
250
00:08:46,478 --> 00:08:47,687
WHAT?
251
00:08:48,772 --> 00:08:49,606
COME ON, ARNIE.
252
00:08:49,689 --> 00:08:50,482
AIR HOCKEY'S THE ONE GAME
253
00:08:50,565 --> 00:08:54,194
I AM COMPREHENSIBLY CONFIDENT
I'LL WIN.
254
00:08:54,277 --> 00:08:56,112
THROW THE GAME, LET TISH WIN.
255
00:08:56,196 --> 00:08:57,864
SHOW HER YOU CARE
MORE ABOUT HER
256
00:08:57,948 --> 00:08:59,824
THAN WINNING.
257
00:08:59,908 --> 00:09:00,867
BUT I LOVE WINNING.
258
00:09:00,951 --> 00:09:01,868
WHAT DO YOU LOVE MORE, WINNING
259
00:09:01,952 --> 00:09:02,953
OR YOUR WIFE?
260
00:09:03,036 --> 00:09:05,664
( teeth chattering )
261
00:09:09,167 --> 00:09:10,752
( Coach grunting )
262
00:09:15,715 --> 00:09:17,133
( bell rings )
263
00:09:17,217 --> 00:09:19,302
ONE-ZIP, JACK.
264
00:09:19,386 --> 00:09:20,345
( bell rings )
265
00:09:20,428 --> 00:09:21,930
ONE ALL, TISH.
266
00:09:26,142 --> 00:09:27,519
( bell rings )
267
00:09:27,602 --> 00:09:27,727
( bell rings )
268
00:09:30,272 --> 00:09:31,022
( bell rings )
269
00:09:31,106 --> 00:09:33,942
Coach:
TEN-TEN, TISH.
270
00:09:34,025 --> 00:09:36,319
NEXT GOAL WINS THE WHOLE THING.
271
00:09:36,403 --> 00:09:38,196
AND PROVES ONCE AND FOR ALL
272
00:09:38,280 --> 00:09:40,156
FOR THE LAST AND FINAL TIME
273
00:09:40,240 --> 00:09:40,573
WHO'S NUMBER ONE.
274
00:09:47,205 --> 00:09:49,666
Arnold:
WHAT DO YOU LOVE MORE,
WINNING OR YOUR WIFE?
275
00:09:52,585 --> 00:09:53,336
( bell rings )
276
00:09:53,420 --> 00:09:54,296
YES! HAH!
277
00:09:54,379 --> 00:09:55,380
I WON, JACK.
278
00:09:55,463 --> 00:09:58,133
WHY CAN'T YOU JUST ADMIT IT?
279
00:09:58,216 --> 00:09:59,676
I'M NUMBER ONE.
280
00:09:59,759 --> 00:10:00,677
YOU'RE RIGHT, TISH.
281
00:10:00,760 --> 00:10:01,678
YOU'RE NUMBER ONE.
282
00:10:01,761 --> 00:10:02,762
WHAT'D YOU SAY, JACK?
283
00:10:02,846 --> 00:10:03,388
YOU'RE RIGHT, TISH.
284
00:10:03,471 --> 00:10:05,056
YOU BEAT ME,
YOU'RE THE BEST.
285
00:10:05,140 --> 00:10:06,057
YOU'RE NUMBER ONE.
286
00:10:06,141 --> 00:10:08,476
JACK, THAT'S
THE FIRST TIME
287
00:10:08,560 --> 00:10:08,977
YOU EVER SAID
THAT TO ME.
288
00:10:09,060 --> 00:10:12,272
YEAH, WELL, YOU KNOW.
289
00:10:12,355 --> 00:10:13,481
OH, JACK.
290
00:10:15,358 --> 00:10:17,652
Minister:
DO YOU TAKE COACH WITTENBERG
291
00:10:17,736 --> 00:10:19,487
TO BE YOUR LAWFULLY WEDDED
HUSBAND?
292
00:10:19,571 --> 00:10:20,447
I DO.
293
00:10:20,530 --> 00:10:21,531
REPETITIVELY.
294
00:10:21,614 --> 00:10:23,158
AND YOU, COACH WITTENBERG
295
00:10:23,241 --> 00:10:26,703
TAKE TISH TO BE YOUR
LAWFULLY WEDDED WIFE?
296
00:10:26,786 --> 00:10:28,705
I DO, ALSO,
REPETITIVELY.
297
00:10:28,788 --> 00:10:32,876
I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU
STILL HUSBAND AND WIFE.
298
00:10:32,959 --> 00:10:34,002
( cheering )
299
00:10:36,296 --> 00:10:38,089
RACE YOU TO THE CAR.
300
00:10:46,556 --> 00:10:47,807
( swoons )
301
00:10:47,891 --> 00:10:48,224
HELGA!
302
00:10:48,308 --> 00:10:50,393
ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
303
00:10:50,477 --> 00:10:53,229
( dreamily ):
I DO, I DO.
304
00:10:53,313 --> 00:10:56,566
I DO, OH, I DO...
NOT WANT YOU
305
00:10:56,649 --> 00:11:00,070
TO TOUCH ME
EVER AGAIN,
FOOTBALL HEAD!
306
00:11:00,153 --> 00:11:01,112
UH, OKAY.
307
00:11:01,196 --> 00:11:03,239
( grunts )
308
00:11:05,075 --> 00:11:06,409
( sighs )
309
00:11:06,493 --> 00:11:07,369
THANKS, ARNIE.
310
00:11:07,452 --> 00:11:08,078
YOU WERE A GREAT BEST MAN
311
00:11:08,161 --> 00:11:09,954
CATECHISM-ICALLY.
312
00:11:10,038 --> 00:11:11,081
THANKS, COACH.
313
00:11:11,164 --> 00:11:12,916
JACK, I GOT TO
ASK SOMETHING.
314
00:11:12,999 --> 00:11:15,210
ASK AWAY, MY FAIR TISH.
315
00:11:15,293 --> 00:11:17,587
DID YOU LET ME WIN
THE MATCH?
316
00:11:17,670 --> 00:11:18,588
WHAT?
317
00:11:18,671 --> 00:11:19,714
I DON'T KNOW, JACK.
318
00:11:19,798 --> 00:11:22,092
YOU DIDN'T GIVE ME
YOUR BEST GAME.
319
00:11:22,175 --> 00:11:23,134
COME ON, YOU WON, TISH.
320
00:11:23,218 --> 00:11:25,387
YOU WERE THE BEST.
321
00:11:25,470 --> 00:11:26,346
NUMBER ONE.
322
00:11:26,429 --> 00:11:28,056
I WANT A REMATCH, NOW.
323
00:11:28,139 --> 00:11:29,682
NOW? BUT THE HONEYMOON?
324
00:11:29,766 --> 00:11:30,600
NO, THAT'S IT.
325
00:11:30,683 --> 00:11:31,226
I'M DRIVING
TO THE ARCADE
326
00:11:31,309 --> 00:11:33,269
I WANT YOUR
BEST GAME.
327
00:11:33,353 --> 00:11:34,854
YOU ASKED FOR IT,
TISH!
328
00:11:34,938 --> 00:11:35,438
YOU'RE ON!
329
00:11:35,522 --> 00:11:37,607
( tires squealing )
330
00:11:37,691 --> 00:11:39,609
( kids cheering )
331
00:11:49,202 --> 00:11:51,037
( school bell rings )
332
00:11:52,288 --> 00:11:53,456
YEP, HE'S TOUGH.
333
00:11:53,540 --> 00:11:55,083
I'M ALMOST SURE
I'VE...
334
00:11:55,166 --> 00:11:56,292
Helga:
WELL, WHATEVER.
335
00:11:56,376 --> 00:11:58,461
Rhonda:
PSST, PSST, HEY, ARNOLD.
336
00:11:58,545 --> 00:12:00,672
THIS IS FOR
YOUR EYES ONLY.
337
00:12:00,755 --> 00:12:03,633
OKAY...
"A HIGH TEA PARTY THIS EVENING
338
00:12:03,716 --> 00:12:07,470
AT THE HOME OF MISS RHONDA
WELLINGTON LLOYD."
339
00:12:07,554 --> 00:12:09,222
RESTRICTED INVITATIONS?
340
00:12:09,305 --> 00:12:11,224
IT MEANS NOT EVERYONE'S INVITED.
341
00:12:11,307 --> 00:12:12,600
ONLY THE COOL KIDS.
342
00:12:12,684 --> 00:12:14,185
LAST TIME,
I INVITED EVERYONE.
343
00:12:14,269 --> 00:12:16,771
THIS TIME,
I'M DOWNSIZING.
344
00:12:16,855 --> 00:12:18,565
I'M ELIMINATING THE GEEKS.
345
00:12:18,648 --> 00:12:19,774
( snaps fingers )
346
00:12:19,858 --> 00:12:20,859
UH-HUH.
347
00:12:20,942 --> 00:12:23,319
YOU, ARNOLD,
HAVE MADE THE COOL LIST.
348
00:12:23,403 --> 00:12:24,612
HOW'D I DO THAT?
349
00:12:24,696 --> 00:12:25,572
I GUESS IT'S
YOUR MOODINESS
350
00:12:25,655 --> 00:12:29,033
THAT BROODING AIR OF MYSTERY
YOU HAVE.
351
00:12:29,117 --> 00:12:30,326
YOUR UNIQUE
SENSE OF STYLE.
352
00:12:30,410 --> 00:12:32,871
MY UNIQUE SENSE OF STYLE?
353
00:12:32,954 --> 00:12:35,123
LIKE THAT LITTLE SKIRT THING
YOU ALWAYS WEAR.
354
00:12:35,206 --> 00:12:37,167
IT'S MY SHIRT.
355
00:12:37,250 --> 00:12:38,543
THAT'S WHAT I MEAN.
356
00:12:38,626 --> 00:12:40,336
THE WAY YOU CALL IT "A SHIRT"
IS SO COOL.
357
00:12:40,420 --> 00:12:42,297
IT'S BOLD. YOU'RE A BOLD KID.
358
00:12:42,380 --> 00:12:44,466
SO, ARE YOU COMING?
359
00:12:44,549 --> 00:12:44,924
UH, I GUESS.
360
00:12:48,386 --> 00:12:52,182
I CANNOT BELIEVE RHONDA ACTUALLY
PUT ME ON HER COOL LIST.
361
00:12:52,265 --> 00:12:53,975
I WAS SURE SHE THOUGHT
I WAS A GEEK.
362
00:12:54,058 --> 00:12:55,351
YOU? A GEEK?
363
00:12:55,435 --> 00:12:56,269
PLEASE.
364
00:12:56,352 --> 00:12:58,563
LOOK AROUND YOU, ARNOLD.
365
00:13:00,273 --> 00:13:02,901
Both:
A FIVE, SIX, SEVEN, EIGHT
AND JUMP.
366
00:13:02,984 --> 00:13:04,694
YOU GOING TO THE PARTY?
367
00:13:04,777 --> 00:13:06,863
SHE DIDN'T INVITE ME.
368
00:13:06,946 --> 00:13:08,990
NOT YET, BUT I'M
SURE SHE WILL.
369
00:13:09,073 --> 00:13:12,744
YOU'RE RIGHT, AFTER ALL
I AM THE DEFINITION OF COOL.
370
00:13:12,827 --> 00:13:12,827
WHAT ABOUT GERALD?
371
00:13:12,827 --> 00:13:13,369
GEEK.
372
00:13:13,453 --> 00:13:15,872
GERALD? GEEK? HOW COME?
373
00:13:15,955 --> 00:13:18,958
HE'S NICE, HE'S FUNNY,
EVERYONE LIKES HIM.
374
00:13:19,042 --> 00:13:20,752
HE SEEMS PRETTY COOL TO ME.
375
00:13:20,835 --> 00:13:22,378
I'VE BEEN FURIOUS AT HIM
376
00:13:22,462 --> 00:13:24,756
EVER SINCE HE BECAME
CLASS PRESIDENT.
377
00:13:24,839 --> 00:13:26,883
SO? CLASS PRESIDENT IS COOL.
378
00:13:26,966 --> 00:13:28,718
YES, BUT HE RAN AGAINST ME
379
00:13:28,801 --> 00:13:31,304
AND THAT WAS DEFINITELY
NOT COOL.
380
00:13:31,387 --> 00:13:33,515
YOU GET INVITED
TO RHONDA'S PARTY?
381
00:13:33,598 --> 00:13:34,557
YEAH, YOU GOING?
382
00:13:34,641 --> 00:13:38,436
NOPE, NONE OF US GOT INVITED.
383
00:13:38,520 --> 00:13:39,354
NONE OF YOU?
384
00:13:39,437 --> 00:13:42,273
I SURVEYED ALL P.S. 118
FOURTH GRADERS.
385
00:13:42,357 --> 00:13:44,234
SO FAR, ONLY NADINE, KATRINKA
386
00:13:44,317 --> 00:13:46,569
PARK, IGGY AND LORENZO
ARE INVITED.
387
00:13:46,653 --> 00:13:47,737
AND YOU, ARNOLD.
388
00:13:47,820 --> 00:13:49,030
WHAT ABOUT ME?
389
00:13:49,113 --> 00:13:50,949
I'M SHOCKED TO REPORT, GERALD
390
00:13:51,032 --> 00:13:53,493
YOU WERE ALSO
ON RHONDA'S GEEK LIST.
391
00:13:53,576 --> 00:13:53,576
WHAT?
392
00:13:53,576 --> 00:13:56,704
SO, EXCEPT FOR
FOOTBALL HEAD HERE
393
00:13:56,704 --> 00:13:56,704
WHAT?
394
00:13:56,704 --> 00:13:57,580
SO, EXCEPT FOR
FOOTBALL HEAD HERE
395
00:13:57,664 --> 00:14:00,208
WE ALL MADE RHONDA'S
GEEK LIST-- CRIMINY!
396
00:14:00,291 --> 00:14:04,087
YEAH, JUST HOW
DOES SHE DEFINE GEEK, ANYWAY?
397
00:14:04,170 --> 00:14:06,589
THE DICTIONARY DEFINES GEEK
AS A CIRCUS PERFORMER
398
00:14:06,673 --> 00:14:10,802
WHO BITES THE HEAD
OFF A LIVE CHICKEN.
399
00:14:10,885 --> 00:14:11,553
BITE THE HEAD
OFF A CHICKEN?
400
00:14:11,636 --> 00:14:15,807
NONE OF US BITE
OFF CHICKEN HEADS
401
00:14:15,890 --> 00:14:16,849
EXCEPT CURLY.
402
00:14:16,933 --> 00:14:19,269
YEAH! AND THAT WAS JUST
THE ONE TIME.
403
00:14:19,352 --> 00:14:20,687
( all agree )
404
00:14:20,770 --> 00:14:22,647
I'M KIND OF MAD
ABOUT THIS GEEK LIST.
405
00:14:22,730 --> 00:14:26,192
IT HURTS WHEN THIS
KIND OF THING HAPPENS.
406
00:14:26,276 --> 00:14:28,194
WE GOT FEELINGS.
407
00:14:28,278 --> 00:14:30,154
I BET RHONDA THINKS I'M A GEEK
408
00:14:30,238 --> 00:14:32,574
BECAUSE I'M FAT,
LOUD AND OBNOXIOUS.
409
00:14:32,657 --> 00:14:35,994
BET I'M A GEEK 'CAUSE MY DAD
CUTS MY HAIR WITH A BOWL.
410
00:14:36,077 --> 00:14:39,122
SHE THINKS I'M A GEEK
BECAUSE OF MY HUGE NOSE.
411
00:14:39,205 --> 00:14:41,332
IT'S NOT THAT HUGE, SID.
412
00:14:41,416 --> 00:14:43,418
YOU'RE SAYING THAT
'CAUSE YOU GOT
413
00:14:43,501 --> 00:14:46,087
THE BIGGEST HONKER
IN THE CITY-- NO OFFENSE.
414
00:14:46,170 --> 00:14:47,338
NONE TAKEN.
415
00:14:47,422 --> 00:14:49,299
FORGET HER,
YOU BUNCH OF LOSERS.
416
00:14:49,382 --> 00:14:51,426
SINCE WHEN DOES PRINCESS
RHONDA LLOYD DECIDE
417
00:14:51,509 --> 00:14:54,262
WHO'S COOL AND WHO'S A GEEK?
418
00:14:54,345 --> 00:14:58,099
DOY, WHO DIED AND MADE HER
PRESIDENT OF THE UNIVERSE?
419
00:14:58,182 --> 00:15:00,143
FORGET RHONDA'S
STUPID PARTY!
420
00:15:00,226 --> 00:15:01,227
Others:
YEAH!
421
00:15:01,311 --> 00:15:03,980
YOU KNOW, GERALD,
MAYBE I SHOULDN'T GO.
422
00:15:04,063 --> 00:15:06,065
ARE YOU KIDDING?
IT'LL BE GREAT.
423
00:15:06,149 --> 00:15:08,484
THERE'S GOING TO BE
LOTS OF FREE FOOD.
424
00:15:08,568 --> 00:15:09,777
AND COOL KIDS.
425
00:15:09,861 --> 00:15:12,488
THEY'RE THE BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE.
426
00:15:12,572 --> 00:15:15,992
IT'S LIKE YOU WERE BORN LUCKY
OR SOMETHING, ARNOLD.
427
00:15:16,075 --> 00:15:17,243
WITH A SILVER
FORK IN YOUR MOUTH.
428
00:15:17,327 --> 00:15:19,203
YEAH, JUST GO.
429
00:15:19,287 --> 00:15:20,413
I GOT PLANS
TONIGHT ANYWAY.
430
00:15:20,496 --> 00:15:22,540
YEAH, GO. GO.
431
00:15:22,624 --> 00:15:24,375
TELL US WHAT IT WAS
LIKE, FOOTBALL HEAD.
432
00:15:24,459 --> 00:15:25,585
COME ON, YOU GUYS.
433
00:15:25,668 --> 00:15:28,504
LET'S GO THROW ROCKS
AT A DUMPSTER.
434
00:15:28,588 --> 00:15:29,922
( all grumbling )
435
00:15:33,176 --> 00:15:34,469
( rings doorbell )
436
00:15:35,762 --> 00:15:36,638
ARNOLD, DOLL.
437
00:15:36,721 --> 00:15:37,347
CIAO,
WON'T YOU COME IN?
438
00:15:37,430 --> 00:15:38,723
ARNOLD, THE DOLL?
439
00:15:38,806 --> 00:15:43,269
ARNOLD, YOU OF COURSE KNOW
NADINE AND KATRINKA.
440
00:15:43,353 --> 00:15:46,481
BUT PLEASE MEET
REX SMYTHE-HIGGINS III.
441
00:15:46,564 --> 00:15:50,360
THERE'S CUCUMBER SANDWICHES
AND LADYFINGERS ON THE BUFFET.
442
00:15:50,443 --> 00:15:50,443
HELP YOURSELF.
443
00:15:50,443 --> 00:15:50,704
THANKS.
444
00:15:50,704 --> 00:15:50,704
HELP YOURSELF.
445
00:15:50,704 --> 00:15:51,611
THANKS.
446
00:15:51,694 --> 00:15:53,363
I'VE BEEN TO ENGLAND.
447
00:15:53,446 --> 00:15:53,780
MY SECOND COUSIN
LIVES THERE.
448
00:15:53,863 --> 00:15:55,239
SHE'S A DUCHESS.
449
00:15:55,323 --> 00:15:57,283
HEY, ARNOLD.
450
00:15:57,367 --> 00:15:59,035
HEY, PARK,
HEY, PEAPOD.
451
00:15:59,118 --> 00:15:59,410
HAVING ANY FUN?
452
00:15:59,494 --> 00:16:01,371
NOT REALLY.
453
00:16:01,454 --> 00:16:02,664
WE'RE PRETENDING TO EAT
454
00:16:02,747 --> 00:16:04,874
TILL WE HAVE TO GO LISTEN
TO RHONDA
455
00:16:04,957 --> 00:16:07,126
TALK ABOUT HER VACATION
IN EUROPE.
456
00:16:07,210 --> 00:16:08,044
A TOAST POINT?
457
00:16:08,127 --> 00:16:09,921
WHAT DOES SHE DO
WITH THE REST OF THE TOAST?
458
00:16:10,004 --> 00:16:13,466
DONATES IT TO THE AWKWARD
AND UNFASHIONABLE?
459
00:16:13,549 --> 00:16:14,509
SOME COOL PARTY.
460
00:16:14,592 --> 00:16:16,386
YEAH, IT'S A REAL BLAST.
461
00:16:16,469 --> 00:16:18,346
I'M SO GLAD
I INVITED
462
00:16:18,429 --> 00:16:20,348
ONLY THE COOL KIDS.
463
00:16:20,431 --> 00:16:22,308
WHAT'S THE POINT
OF HAVING A PARTY
464
00:16:22,392 --> 00:16:23,685
IF YOU INVITE GEEKS?
465
00:16:23,768 --> 00:16:25,812
THEY'RE AN EMBARRASSMENT,
REALLY.
466
00:16:25,895 --> 00:16:27,855
LIKE, EUGENE-- HE'S SUCH A GEEK
467
00:16:27,939 --> 00:16:31,234
HE TUCKS HIS SHIRT
INTO HIS UNDERPANTS.
468
00:16:31,317 --> 00:16:33,695
AND HAROLD? OH, OH, PLEASE.
469
00:16:33,778 --> 00:16:34,779
THE WAY HE EATS.
470
00:16:34,862 --> 00:16:36,698
I CAN'T BEAR TO BE
IN THE SAME LUNCHROOM.
471
00:16:36,781 --> 00:16:39,283
AND STINKY-- WHERE DID HE
LEARN ENGLISH?
472
00:16:39,367 --> 00:16:41,244
GREEN ACRES?
473
00:16:41,327 --> 00:16:43,204
( laughter )
474
00:16:45,331 --> 00:16:46,999
ARNOLD, WHERE
ARE YOU GOING?
475
00:16:47,083 --> 00:16:48,751
UM, SUDDENLY
I'M NOT FEELING
476
00:16:48,835 --> 00:16:50,586
COOL ENOUGH
FOR THIS PARTY.
477
00:16:50,670 --> 00:16:52,547
BUT THANKS FOR INVITING ME.
478
00:16:52,630 --> 00:16:55,049
I THINK I'M GOING TO GO.
479
00:16:56,175 --> 00:16:58,261
FINE, BE THAT WAY.
480
00:16:58,344 --> 00:17:00,763
THEN YOU'RE OFF MY COOL LIST.
481
00:17:00,847 --> 00:17:01,806
NADINE?
482
00:17:05,351 --> 00:17:07,437
GEEK.
483
00:17:08,938 --> 00:17:10,064
HEY, ARNOLD.
484
00:17:10,148 --> 00:17:11,691
BACK FROM THE COOL PARTY?
485
00:17:11,774 --> 00:17:12,608
YEAH.
486
00:17:12,692 --> 00:17:14,819
BASICALLY IT STUNK,
SO I LEFT.
487
00:17:14,902 --> 00:17:16,112
WANT TO DO SOMETHING?
488
00:17:16,195 --> 00:17:16,946
YOU HAD PLANS TONIGHT.
489
00:17:17,029 --> 00:17:20,283
I MADE THAT UP
SO YOU WOULDN'T FEEL BAD
490
00:17:20,366 --> 00:17:22,243
ABOUT GOING TO RHONDA'S PARTY.
491
00:17:23,327 --> 00:17:25,204
WANT TO GO THROW
ROCKS AT HELGA
492
00:17:25,288 --> 00:17:26,122
THROWING ROCKS
AT A DUMPSTER?
493
00:17:26,205 --> 00:17:27,373
SURE.
494
00:17:27,457 --> 00:17:30,418
YES! I GOT IT.
495
00:17:31,377 --> 00:17:32,378
HEY, YOU GUYS.
496
00:17:32,462 --> 00:17:33,337
LOOK, IT'S ARNOLD.
497
00:17:33,421 --> 00:17:37,008
BACK FROM HIS VISIT
WITH THEM BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE.
498
00:17:37,091 --> 00:17:39,594
SO, HOW WAS THE COOL PARTY,
FOOTBALL HEAD?
499
00:17:39,677 --> 00:17:41,929
YOU DIDN'T MISS ANYTHING.
500
00:17:42,013 --> 00:17:44,515
BUT WE'RE STILL MAD AT RHONDA
FOR NOT INVITING US.
501
00:17:44,599 --> 00:17:46,642
( rock bangs )
502
00:17:46,726 --> 00:17:49,479
AND WE'RE REALLY,
REALLY MAD AT HER
503
00:17:49,562 --> 00:17:52,023
FOR PUTTING US ON HER GEEK LIST.
504
00:17:52,106 --> 00:17:54,817
IT'S LIKE WE HAVE ALL THIS
UNFOCUSED RAGE.
505
00:17:54,901 --> 00:17:56,486
I WISH WE COULD
DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.
506
00:17:56,569 --> 00:17:58,821
I SAY WE ALL GO OVER
507
00:17:58,905 --> 00:18:01,491
CRASH RHONDA'S PARTY
AND EAT ALL HER FOOD.
508
00:18:01,574 --> 00:18:03,409
( cheering )
509
00:18:03,493 --> 00:18:05,870
I SAY WE GET
A CARLOAD OF HORSE MANURE
510
00:18:05,953 --> 00:18:07,789
AND LEAVE IT ON HER PORCH!
511
00:18:07,872 --> 00:18:09,081
( cheering )
512
00:18:09,165 --> 00:18:10,500
I SAY WE PAINT OURSELVES
513
00:18:10,583 --> 00:18:11,334
WITH TIGER STRIPES
514
00:18:11,417 --> 00:18:13,252
AND FREE ALL THE ANIMALS
AT THE ZOO!
515
00:18:16,923 --> 00:18:19,509
FINE, WE'LL MEET YOU THERE
IN AN HOUR.
516
00:18:19,592 --> 00:18:21,511
HOORAY!
517
00:18:21,594 --> 00:18:23,679
( laughing like a maniac )
518
00:18:23,763 --> 00:18:24,597
POOR, TWISTED
LITTLE FREAK.
519
00:18:24,680 --> 00:18:27,016
HEY, I'VE GOT AN IDEA.
520
00:18:27,099 --> 00:18:28,226
OH, BROTHER.
521
00:18:28,309 --> 00:18:30,686
WHAT'S YOUR NOBEL PRIZE-WINNING
IDEA, GOOF WAD?
522
00:18:30,770 --> 00:18:33,689
HOW ABOUT WE ALL GO TO MY PLACE
523
00:18:33,773 --> 00:18:36,234
GO UP ON THE ROOF
AND HAVE A GEEK PARTY?
524
00:18:36,317 --> 00:18:37,610
EVERYBODY'S INVITED.
525
00:18:37,693 --> 00:18:40,780
GEEK PARTY AT ARNOLD'S HOUSE!
526
00:18:40,863 --> 00:18:45,118
( playing rocking music )
527
00:18:49,372 --> 00:18:54,293
AND THEN MY MOTHER INGESTED
SOME BAD PATE DE FOIE GRAS
528
00:18:54,377 --> 00:18:56,754
AND WE HAD TO MOTOR ON
TO CANNES.
529
00:18:56,838 --> 00:18:58,047
OH, CANNES--
IT WAS INSANE.
530
00:18:58,130 --> 00:19:00,758
EXCUSE ME, DO YOU HAVE
ANY ACETAMINOPHEN?
531
00:19:00,842 --> 00:19:03,594
WHAT IS THAT NOISE OUTSIDE?
532
00:19:03,678 --> 00:19:04,971
CLOSE THE WINDOW.
533
00:19:05,054 --> 00:19:06,848
WHERE ARE YOU TWO GOING?
534
00:19:06,931 --> 00:19:07,890
WE'LL BE BACK.
535
00:19:07,974 --> 00:19:10,560
WE WANT TO SEE
WHAT'S GOING ON OUTSIDE.
536
00:19:10,643 --> 00:19:12,228
( music and chatter )
537
00:19:12,311 --> 00:19:15,022
I DON'T THINK
THEY'RE COMING BACK.
538
00:19:15,106 --> 00:19:17,275
THEY'RE GOING
TO ARNOLD'S HOUSE.
539
00:19:17,358 --> 00:19:19,068
THEY'RE OFF THE LIST.
540
00:19:19,151 --> 00:19:21,571
SOMETHING'S GOING ON
AT ARNOLD'S.
541
00:19:21,654 --> 00:19:23,573
SOME KIND OF
BIZARRE HAPPENING.
542
00:19:23,656 --> 00:19:25,116
IT LOOKS
A LOT MORE FUN THAN THIS.
543
00:19:25,199 --> 00:19:28,327
HERE, HERE,
LET'S BID A HASTY RETREAT.
544
00:19:28,411 --> 00:19:32,081
UM, RHONDA, I'M TERRIBLY,
TERRIBLY, TERRIBLY SORRY.
545
00:19:32,164 --> 00:19:34,542
MY HEADACHE HAS ACTUALLY
GROWN WORSE
546
00:19:34,625 --> 00:19:35,751
AND I FEAR I MUST
TAKE MY LEAVE.
547
00:19:35,835 --> 00:19:38,212
I'D BETTER
GO WITH HIM.
548
00:19:38,296 --> 00:19:38,796
MAKE SURE
HE'S OKAY.
549
00:19:38,880 --> 00:19:42,174
THANKS FOR THE TOAST POINTS.
550
00:19:42,258 --> 00:19:44,093
COME ON, LET'S
GO TO ARNOLD'S.
551
00:19:44,176 --> 00:19:45,761
I HEAR YOU ON THAT ONE.
552
00:19:45,845 --> 00:19:48,264
PARK AND PEAPOD, KID.
553
00:19:48,347 --> 00:19:48,598
NO LONGER COOL.
554
00:19:48,681 --> 00:19:50,600
OFF THE LIST.
555
00:19:50,683 --> 00:19:53,728
HEY, FOURTH GRADER,
WHAT'S GOING ON?
556
00:19:53,811 --> 00:19:56,063
PARTY AT ARNOLD'S HOUSE!
557
00:19:56,147 --> 00:19:57,273
COME ON, LET'S GO.
558
00:19:57,356 --> 00:19:58,774
THEY'RE
FOURTH GRADERS.
559
00:19:58,858 --> 00:19:58,858
IF WE WENT,
WOULDN'T WE
BE UNCOOL?
560
00:19:58,858 --> 00:20:01,944
NO.
561
00:20:02,028 --> 00:20:02,820
WHY NOT?
562
00:20:02,904 --> 00:20:04,113
BECAUSE, UH, WE ARE SO COOL
563
00:20:04,196 --> 00:20:07,742
THAT EVEN IF WE GO
TO AN UNCOOL PARTY
564
00:20:07,825 --> 00:20:09,410
WE'LL STILL BE COOL.
565
00:20:09,493 --> 00:20:12,121
WOW, WOLFGANG,
YOU'RE REALLY SMART.
566
00:20:12,205 --> 00:20:13,831
DUH... COME ON.
567
00:20:13,915 --> 00:20:16,250
LET'S GO.
568
00:20:16,334 --> 00:20:19,545
( music and chatter... )
569
00:20:19,629 --> 00:20:25,384
( scratching,
zydeco jazz fusion music... )
570
00:20:27,345 --> 00:20:28,471
( applause )
571
00:20:30,681 --> 00:20:31,891
( grunts, splashes )
572
00:20:31,974 --> 00:20:32,767
I'M OKAY.
573
00:20:32,850 --> 00:20:34,769
( music continues... )
574
00:20:37,939 --> 00:20:40,900
I CAN'T BELIEVE
THIS IS HAPPENING TO ME.
575
00:20:40,983 --> 00:20:44,236
EVERYONE'S LEFT THE PARTY
BUT YOU, ME AND KATRINKA.
576
00:20:44,320 --> 00:20:46,238
ACTUALLY,
KATRINKA JUST LEFT.
577
00:20:46,322 --> 00:20:47,448
WHAT?
578
00:20:47,531 --> 00:20:48,658
FINE.
579
00:20:48,741 --> 00:20:50,326
KATRINKA IS
OFF THE LIST.
580
00:20:50,409 --> 00:20:51,077
MAYBE I'LL GO
CHECK OUT
581
00:20:51,160 --> 00:20:54,038
WHAT'S GOING ON
AT ARNOLD'S HOUSE.
582
00:20:54,121 --> 00:20:56,040
NADINE, YOU CAN'T
BE SERIOUS.
583
00:20:56,123 --> 00:20:56,624
YOU'RE MY BEST FRIEND.
584
00:20:56,707 --> 00:20:59,418
THIS IS VERY UNCOOL.
585
00:20:59,502 --> 00:21:01,003
I'M SORRY, I HAVE NO CHOICE.
586
00:21:01,087 --> 00:21:04,799
I'M PUTTING YOU
ON THE GEEK LIST.
587
00:21:04,882 --> 00:21:07,468
WELL, YOU WANTED
TO HAVE A PARTY FOR
ONLY THE COOL KIDS
588
00:21:07,551 --> 00:21:11,514
NOW THAT YOU'VE CROSSED
EVERYBODY OFF THE COOL LIST
589
00:21:11,597 --> 00:21:13,849
EXCEPT YOURSELF--
YOU'RE THE ONLY
COOL KID LEFT.
590
00:21:13,933 --> 00:21:16,686
I'M GOING TO ARNOLD'S.
591
00:21:16,769 --> 00:21:18,604
ENJOY THE REST OF YOUR PARTY.
592
00:21:20,731 --> 00:21:22,566
I'M TAKING MY BOWL, OKAY?
593
00:21:24,318 --> 00:21:26,529
HI, STOOP KID,
HOW YOU DOING?
594
00:21:26,612 --> 00:21:28,197
THERE'S FOOD
AND PUNCH.
595
00:21:28,280 --> 00:21:30,700
MAN, EVERYBODY
CAME, ARNOLD.
596
00:21:30,783 --> 00:21:33,035
A FIVE, SIX, SEVEN, EIGHT
597
00:21:33,119 --> 00:21:33,995
AND JUMP!
598
00:21:34,078 --> 00:21:36,664
PRETTY GEEKY PARTY,
FOOTBALL HEAD.
599
00:21:36,747 --> 00:21:38,541
YUP, IT'S
NEARLY PERFECT.
600
00:21:38,624 --> 00:21:40,042
NEARLY PERFECT?
601
00:21:40,126 --> 00:21:41,502
( door opening )
602
00:21:42,920 --> 00:21:44,255
NOW IT'S PERFECT.
603
00:21:44,338 --> 00:21:45,381
UH, HI, GERALD.
604
00:21:45,464 --> 00:21:46,382
HI, ARNOLD.
605
00:21:46,465 --> 00:21:48,175
I BROUGHT SOME SANDWICHES.
606
00:21:48,259 --> 00:21:50,177
CAN I COME TO YOUR PARTY?
607
00:21:50,886 --> 00:21:52,930
WELL, I DON'T KNOW.
608
00:21:53,014 --> 00:21:53,889
LET ME SEE.
609
00:21:53,973 --> 00:21:55,307
SORRY, THIS PARTY...
610
00:21:55,391 --> 00:21:56,475
IS FOR GEEKS ONLY.
611
00:21:56,559 --> 00:21:59,979
AND YOU DON'T SEEM TO BE
ON THE GEEK LIST.
612
00:22:00,062 --> 00:22:01,731
PERHAPS YOU'RE ON
THE OTHER LIST?
613
00:22:01,814 --> 00:22:04,650
THE "COOL" LIST.
614
00:22:06,569 --> 00:22:07,570
( softly ):
I... WANT TO BE A GEEK.
615
00:22:07,653 --> 00:22:10,072
WHAT WAS THAT?
616
00:22:10,156 --> 00:22:11,907
I WANT TO BE A GEEK.
617
00:22:11,991 --> 00:22:13,951
I CAN'T HEAR YOU.
618
00:22:14,618 --> 00:22:16,829
( scratches, music stops )
619
00:22:23,377 --> 00:22:25,504
I WANT TO BE A GEEK!
620
00:22:25,588 --> 00:22:27,214
( all cheering )
621
00:22:27,298 --> 00:22:27,757
( music resumes )
622
00:22:27,840 --> 00:22:28,632
OKAY, RHONDA.
623
00:22:28,716 --> 00:22:30,926
COME ON IN.
624
00:22:31,010 --> 00:22:33,637
I MEAN, I WANT TO BE A GEEK
TONIGHT ONLY.
625
00:22:33,721 --> 00:22:36,223
TOMORROW, I'M GOING
TO BE COOL AGAIN.
626
00:22:39,060 --> 00:22:39,769
( hysterical laughter )
627
00:22:39,852 --> 00:22:41,395
FREE THE ANIMALS!
628
00:22:50,654 --> 00:22:53,949
[Captioning sponsored by THE
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
629
00:22:54,033 --> 00:22:57,953
and NICKELODEON
41409
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