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Helga:
ARNOLD!
3
00:00:02,830 --> 00:00:04,331
( barking )
4
00:00:05,332 --> 00:00:06,667
HEY, ARNOLD!
5
00:00:11,505 --> 00:00:13,048
( glass shatters )
6
00:00:16,593 --> 00:00:17,553
( girl shrieks )
7
00:00:17,636 --> 00:00:20,431
Helga:
HEY, ARNOLD!
8
00:00:21,306 --> 00:00:23,559
ARNOLD!
9
00:00:24,351 --> 00:00:26,395
ARNOLD!
10
00:00:26,687 --> 00:00:29,565
ARNOLD!
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00:00:29,648 --> 00:00:32,317
[Captioning sponsored by THE
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
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00:00:32,401 --> 00:00:35,863
and NICKELODEON]
13
00:00:37,364 --> 00:00:39,032
AR-NOLD!
14
00:00:39,658 --> 00:00:41,660
MOVE IT,
FOOTBALL HEAD!
15
00:00:41,744 --> 00:00:43,787
Kids:
HEY, ARNOLD!
16
00:00:49,710 --> 00:00:51,628
Harold: "THIS COULD BE YOU.
17
00:00:51,712 --> 00:00:55,549
ENTER THE YAHOO
SODA SPOKESKID CONTEST."
18
00:00:55,632 --> 00:00:57,968
WOW, THAT MEANS
IT COULD BE ME, RIGHT?
19
00:00:58,051 --> 00:00:58,969
OR ME.
20
00:00:59,052 --> 00:01:00,763
OR ME, NOT THAT I'M BRAGGING
21
00:01:00,846 --> 00:01:02,598
BUT WITH MY SENSE OF FASHION
AND STYLE
22
00:01:02,681 --> 00:01:05,142
I'M OBVIOUSLY A NATURAL.
23
00:01:05,225 --> 00:01:06,477
IT COULD BE ANYONE.
24
00:01:06,560 --> 00:01:08,479
IF THEY PICK ME
25
00:01:08,562 --> 00:01:09,897
I COULD BE
A MILLIONAIRE.
26
00:01:09,980 --> 00:01:12,858
AND THEN I COULD BUY
A MILLION MR. FUDGIES.
27
00:01:12,941 --> 00:01:16,153
FAT CHANCE-- LIKE THEY'RE
GOING TO PICK A LARD BOY.
28
00:01:16,236 --> 00:01:17,196
IT COULD HAPPEN.
29
00:01:17,279 --> 00:01:18,947
AND DON'T CALL ME LARD BOY.
30
00:01:19,031 --> 00:01:21,241
THERE'S ONLY ONE WAY
TO FIND OUT.
31
00:01:21,325 --> 00:01:21,825
All:
COME ON! YEAH!
32
00:01:21,909 --> 00:01:24,244
( excited chattering )
33
00:01:26,330 --> 00:01:28,999
HEY, STINKY, YOU COMING TO
THE YAHOO SODA CASTING CALL?
34
00:01:29,082 --> 00:01:32,878
NAH, I AIN'T CUT OUT
FOR THAT HOLLYWOOD STUFF.
35
00:01:32,961 --> 00:01:34,838
HEY, YOU NEVER KNOW.
36
00:01:34,922 --> 00:01:36,840
AW, SHUCKS, ARNOLD,
YOU GOT TO BE SPECIAL
37
00:01:36,924 --> 00:01:40,302
TO GET PICKED FOR
SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
38
00:01:40,385 --> 00:01:42,346
AND IF THERE'S ONE THING I KNOW
39
00:01:42,429 --> 00:01:44,848
IT'S THAT I JUST
AIN'T NOTHING SPECIAL.
40
00:01:44,932 --> 00:01:47,017
COME ON, STINKY,
THAT'S NOT TRUE.
41
00:01:47,100 --> 00:01:48,268
YES, IT IS, ARNOLD.
42
00:01:48,352 --> 00:01:51,188
I'VE NEVER BEEN TOO GOOD
AT SPORTS OR GAMES.
43
00:01:51,271 --> 00:01:54,024
I NEVER GET
THE BEST GRADES
ON SCHOOLWORK.
44
00:01:54,107 --> 00:01:57,402
AND I AIN'T THE FUNNIEST
OR THE MOST POPULAR KID.
45
00:01:57,486 --> 00:02:00,531
I SURE DO WISH I WAS
SPECIAL AT SOMETHING.
46
00:02:00,614 --> 00:02:04,409
BUT I RECKON THE TRUTH IS,
I'LL ALWAYS JUST BE A REGULAR.
47
00:02:04,493 --> 00:02:05,702
COME ALONG AND WATCH.
48
00:02:05,786 --> 00:02:06,787
IT MIGHT BE FUN.
49
00:02:06,870 --> 00:02:08,539
WELL, I WAS PLANNING
TO MOSEY ON INSIDE
50
00:02:08,622 --> 00:02:10,958
AND PONDER MY WORKBOOKS
51
00:02:11,041 --> 00:02:13,752
BUT IF IT'LL MAKE YOU
FEEL BETTER, ARNOLD.
52
00:02:13,836 --> 00:02:15,337
SURE WISH
I COULD HIT
53
00:02:15,420 --> 00:02:17,840
THIS DANG BALL
IN THIS HERE CUP.
54
00:02:21,301 --> 00:02:24,596
OKAY, THERE MUST BE 2,000
OR 3,000 KIDS HERE.
55
00:02:24,680 --> 00:02:28,225
ONE OF THEM HAS TO HAVE
THAT SPECIAL SOMETHING WE NEED
56
00:02:28,308 --> 00:02:29,393
TO MAKE YAHOO SODA
57
00:02:29,476 --> 00:02:31,895
THE MOST POPULAR
DRINK OF THE CENTURY.
58
00:02:31,979 --> 00:02:34,857
THERE SURE ARE A WHOLE
LOT OF KIDS HERE, ARNOLD.
59
00:02:34,940 --> 00:02:36,275
BUT I FIGURE YOU
COULD STILL WIN.
60
00:02:39,152 --> 00:02:40,153
Man:
ACTION.
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00:02:40,237 --> 00:02:41,071
( Scottish accent ):
YAHOO SODA.
62
00:02:41,155 --> 00:02:42,906
JUST DR-R-R-R-RINK IT.
63
00:02:42,990 --> 00:02:44,575
NEXT!
64
00:02:44,658 --> 00:02:46,702
( seductively ):
YAHOO SODA.
65
00:02:46,785 --> 00:02:47,369
JUST... DRINK IT.
66
00:02:47,452 --> 00:02:49,538
NEXT!
67
00:02:49,621 --> 00:02:51,248
( bossily ):
YAHOO SODA. JUST DRINK IT.
68
00:02:51,331 --> 00:02:53,917
NEXT!
69
00:02:54,001 --> 00:02:55,419
YAHOO SODA... JUST DRINK IT?
70
00:02:55,502 --> 00:02:57,421
NEXT!
71
00:02:57,504 --> 00:02:57,963
UH... YAHOO SODA.
72
00:02:58,046 --> 00:02:59,965
( feedback shrieks )
73
00:03:00,048 --> 00:03:01,341
WHAT IS IT AGAIN?
74
00:03:01,425 --> 00:03:03,844
NUMBER 248.
75
00:03:03,927 --> 00:03:07,139
DRINK YAHOO SODA,
IT'S REALLY GREAT.
76
00:03:07,222 --> 00:03:08,181
I'M TELLING YOU
77
00:03:08,265 --> 00:03:10,601
IT'S THE BEST SODA, OKAY?
78
00:03:10,684 --> 00:03:11,643
HOW OLD ARE YOU?
79
00:03:11,727 --> 00:03:13,103
I AM SEVEN YEARS OLD.
80
00:03:13,186 --> 00:03:14,605
I AM A LITTLE KID, SEE?
81
00:03:14,688 --> 00:03:15,606
NEXT!
82
00:03:15,689 --> 00:03:16,899
( groans )
83
00:03:16,982 --> 00:03:18,275
( sighs )
84
00:03:18,358 --> 00:03:18,692
ANYBODY ELSE?
85
00:03:18,775 --> 00:03:20,694
WHAT ABOUT YOU?
86
00:03:20,777 --> 00:03:22,905
YOU HAVEN'T AUDITIONED.
87
00:03:22,988 --> 00:03:24,907
NAH, I AIN'T NO
KIND OF ACTOR.
88
00:03:24,990 --> 00:03:26,575
COME ON,
TRY IT, STINKY.
89
00:03:26,658 --> 00:03:28,285
WHAT HAVE YOU
GOT TO LOSE?
90
00:03:28,368 --> 00:03:29,286
OKAY, ARNOLD.
91
00:03:29,369 --> 00:03:31,246
BUT I DON'T SEE THE POINT.
92
00:03:33,665 --> 00:03:34,833
Helga:
LIKE THEY'RE GOING
TO PICK STINKY.
93
00:03:34,917 --> 00:03:37,419
Sid:
NOT A SNOWBALL'S
CHANCE.
94
00:03:37,502 --> 00:03:38,503
ANY TIME...
95
00:03:38,587 --> 00:03:40,047
( drawls ):
YAHOO SODA.
96
00:03:40,130 --> 00:03:40,213
JUST DRINK IT.
97
00:03:42,966 --> 00:03:43,967
SAY THAT AGAIN?
98
00:03:44,051 --> 00:03:46,261
( drawls ):
YAHOO SODA.
99
00:03:46,345 --> 00:03:46,637
JUST DRINK IT.
100
00:03:46,720 --> 00:03:48,805
THAT'S IT.
101
00:03:48,889 --> 00:03:52,601
PEOPLE, WE FOUND
OUR NEW YAHOO SODA SPOKESKID.
102
00:03:52,684 --> 00:03:53,852
( applause )
103
00:03:53,936 --> 00:03:56,229
I SEE BIG THINGS FOR YOU, KID.
104
00:03:56,313 --> 00:03:58,523
COMMERCIALS,
MAGAZINE LAYOUTS.
105
00:03:58,607 --> 00:03:59,983
YOU ARE GOING TO BE BIG.
106
00:04:00,067 --> 00:04:02,110
OH, ARE YOU GOING TO BE BIG.
107
00:04:02,861 --> 00:04:03,820
I CAN'T BELIEVE IT, ARNOLD.
108
00:04:03,904 --> 00:04:05,989
I CAN'T BELIEVE
I'M THE ONE
109
00:04:06,073 --> 00:04:10,202
WHO THEM BIG HOLLYWOOD
MUCKY-MUCKS PICKED
110
00:04:10,285 --> 00:04:12,829
TO BE THEIR YAHOO SODA
SPOKESKID.
111
00:04:12,913 --> 00:04:14,122
THEY MUST HAVE SEEN
112
00:04:14,206 --> 00:04:16,375
SOMETHING SPECIAL
IN YOU, STINKY.
113
00:04:16,458 --> 00:04:17,334
YEAH, MAYBE.
114
00:04:17,417 --> 00:04:18,961
I SURE DON'T KNOW WHAT.
115
00:04:19,044 --> 00:04:19,836
THANKS FOR COMING, ARNOLD.
116
00:04:19,920 --> 00:04:22,631
I SURE HOPE
I CAN REMEMBER
117
00:04:22,714 --> 00:04:25,008
ALL THE WORDS
THEY WANT ME TO SAY.
118
00:04:25,092 --> 00:04:26,176
YOU'LL DO FINE.
119
00:04:26,259 --> 00:04:27,761
LET'S PUT ONE DOWN.
120
00:04:27,844 --> 00:04:29,930
THAT MEANS THEY'RE
READY TO START.
121
00:04:30,013 --> 00:04:30,931
BREAK A LEG.
122
00:04:31,014 --> 00:04:33,100
WHY WOULD I WANT
TO DO THAT?
123
00:04:33,183 --> 00:04:37,312
Director:
ALL RIGHT, EVERYBODY, THIS
IS PICTURE, AND... ACTION!
124
00:04:37,396 --> 00:04:40,107
YOU WANT ME TO SAY
THE WORDS NOW?
125
00:04:40,190 --> 00:04:41,692
YES, SAY THE WORDS.
126
00:04:41,775 --> 00:04:43,318
( sloshing )
127
00:04:43,402 --> 00:04:44,528
YAHOO SODA.
128
00:04:44,611 --> 00:04:45,862
JUST DRINK IT.
129
00:04:45,946 --> 00:04:47,322
CUT... PERFECT!
130
00:04:47,406 --> 00:04:47,990
THIS KID IS A NATURAL.
131
00:04:48,073 --> 00:04:50,701
LET'S GET ONE
FOR PROTECTION.
132
00:04:50,784 --> 00:04:53,829
I RECKON I'M GETTING
THE HANG OF THIS, ARNOLD.
133
00:04:53,912 --> 00:04:55,038
( rooster crows )
134
00:04:55,122 --> 00:04:56,039
Director:
ACTION.
135
00:04:56,123 --> 00:04:57,624
IT AIN'T NO CITY SODA.
136
00:04:57,708 --> 00:04:58,875
IT'S YAHOO.
137
00:04:58,959 --> 00:05:00,043
ACTION.
138
00:05:02,295 --> 00:05:03,505
Alls I know is..
139
00:05:03,588 --> 00:05:05,841
you better not touch my Yahoo.
140
00:05:06,299 --> 00:05:09,136
Yahoo, it's good.
141
00:05:14,975 --> 00:05:18,520
AH, NOW THAT'S A YAHOO.
142
00:05:18,603 --> 00:05:20,313
Sid:
LOOK AT HIM. HE'S HUGE.
143
00:05:20,397 --> 00:05:22,566
ONE MINUTE HE'S JUST
A REGULAR KID
144
00:05:22,649 --> 00:05:25,444
AND THE NEXT,
HE'S SOME BIG SODA CELEBRITY.
145
00:05:25,527 --> 00:05:27,195
I HEARD HE'S GOING
TO BE A MILLIONAIRE.
146
00:05:27,279 --> 00:05:30,741
I'D DO ANYTHING
FOR A MILLION DOLLARS.
147
00:05:30,824 --> 00:05:31,908
I'M GLAD THEY PICKED STINKY.
148
00:05:31,992 --> 00:05:34,161
I KNEW HE
COULD DO IT.
149
00:05:34,244 --> 00:05:37,122
YOU SAID HE DIDN'T HAVE
A SNOWBALL'S CHANCE.
150
00:05:37,205 --> 00:05:40,792
WELL, THAT WAS BEFORE I REALIZED
HE HAD SO MUCH TALENT.
151
00:05:40,876 --> 00:05:42,961
Woman:
CORY AND KENNEDY LOOKED UP
152
00:05:43,045 --> 00:05:45,005
WITH THOSE BIG EYES
AND CORY SAID
153
00:05:45,088 --> 00:05:46,590
"MOMMY, FROM NOW ON
154
00:05:46,673 --> 00:05:49,009
I WANT TO GO POTTY
ALL BY MYSELF."
155
00:05:49,092 --> 00:05:50,427
ENOUGH WITH THE KIDS.
156
00:05:50,510 --> 00:05:52,345
EVERY DAY IT'S
THE SAME THING.
157
00:05:52,429 --> 00:05:53,847
YOU'RE OUT OF CONTROL!
158
00:05:53,930 --> 00:05:56,850
OH, REEVE, I JUST LOVE THEM
SO MUCH.
159
00:05:56,933 --> 00:05:57,684
YEAH, I KNOW.
160
00:05:57,768 --> 00:06:00,979
CAN WE PLEASE BRING OUT
OUR FIRST GUEST?
161
00:06:01,063 --> 00:06:03,648
THE LOCAL KID WHOSE STAR
IS SKYROCKETING
162
00:06:03,732 --> 00:06:06,026
INTO THE HEAVENS
EVEN AS WE SPEAK--
163
00:06:06,109 --> 00:06:06,943
OUR OWN STINKY PETERSEN.
164
00:06:07,027 --> 00:06:09,905
( applause and music )
165
00:06:13,784 --> 00:06:14,576
GOSH.
166
00:06:14,659 --> 00:06:17,871
STINKY, DO YOU MIND
IF I CALL YOU STINKY?
167
00:06:17,954 --> 00:06:20,457
NOPE, I DON'T MIND,
ON ACCOUNT OF THAT'S MY NAME.
168
00:06:20,540 --> 00:06:24,920
STINKY, HOW DID YOU GET PICKED
OUT OF THOUSANDS OF KIDS
169
00:06:25,003 --> 00:06:26,004
TO DO THE YAHOO
COMMERCIALS?
170
00:06:26,088 --> 00:06:27,798
REVIS, JACKIE,
I RECKON...
171
00:06:27,881 --> 00:06:29,299
UH, THAT'S JACKIE LEE.
172
00:06:29,382 --> 00:06:33,386
OH, YEAH, THEY TOLD ME
ABOUT THAT BACKSTAGE.
173
00:06:33,470 --> 00:06:37,390
ANYWAYS, I RECKON I WAS
THE BEST ACTOR WHO TRIED OUT.
174
00:06:37,474 --> 00:06:40,852
AND NOW YOU'RE THE YAHOO
SODA SPOKESKID, A BIG SHOT
175
00:06:40,936 --> 00:06:43,772
A STAR, A PHENOMENON,
YOU'RE OUT OF CONTROL!
176
00:06:43,855 --> 00:06:46,733
Stinky:
Revis sure gets riled up.
177
00:06:46,817 --> 00:06:49,611
WE JUST LOVE
YOU SO MUCH.
178
00:06:53,490 --> 00:06:54,699
YEAH, DOY.
179
00:06:54,783 --> 00:06:55,951
THERE HE IS!
180
00:06:56,034 --> 00:06:58,495
Rhonda:
I HEARD THEY WANT YOU
181
00:06:58,578 --> 00:07:00,497
TO SIGN A MILLION-DOLLAR
CONTRACT.
182
00:07:00,580 --> 00:07:00,580
I ALWAYS BELIEVED IN YOU.
183
00:07:00,580 --> 00:07:02,999
ME, TOO!
184
00:07:03,083 --> 00:07:05,085
CAN I HAVE YOUR AUTOGRAPH?
185
00:07:05,168 --> 00:07:06,044
IT'S A MIRACLE
186
00:07:06,128 --> 00:07:08,171
THEY DIDN'T DISCOVER
YOU SOONER.
187
00:07:08,255 --> 00:07:08,255
OOH.
188
00:07:08,255 --> 00:07:09,256
( gasps )
189
00:07:09,339 --> 00:07:11,716
STINKMEISTER, WAIT UP!
190
00:07:16,346 --> 00:07:19,057
HEY, STINKY, WANT TO GO
TO THE ARCADE?
191
00:07:19,141 --> 00:07:21,935
LOVE TO, ARNOLD, BUT
I AIN'T GOT THE TIME.
192
00:07:22,018 --> 00:07:24,020
I GOT A PHOTO SESSION,
CONTRACTS TO LOOK OVER
193
00:07:24,104 --> 00:07:26,398
AND I'M BOOKED TO SHOOT
194
00:07:26,481 --> 00:07:28,692
ANOTHER COMMERCIAL
THIS AFTERNOON.
195
00:07:30,610 --> 00:07:33,697
YOUR LIMO IS READY,
MR. STINKY.
196
00:07:33,780 --> 00:07:34,698
THANKS, V.J.
197
00:07:34,781 --> 00:07:36,158
I GOT TO GO.
198
00:07:36,241 --> 00:07:38,660
WHY DON'T YOU STOP BY
THE STUDIO AROUND 5:00?
199
00:07:38,743 --> 00:07:39,035
OKAY.
200
00:07:39,119 --> 00:07:41,621
CIAO, ARNOLD.
201
00:07:42,956 --> 00:07:43,623
CIAO, MR. ARNOLD.
202
00:07:51,131 --> 00:07:52,799
STINKY?
203
00:07:52,883 --> 00:07:53,341
COME ON IN, ARNOLD.
204
00:07:53,425 --> 00:07:55,427
MAKE YOURSELF AT HOME.
205
00:07:55,510 --> 00:07:58,638
I'M JUST GETTING MADE UP
FOR MY COMMERCIAL
206
00:07:58,722 --> 00:08:00,348
AND LOOKING OVER
THESE HERE CONTRACTS.
207
00:08:00,432 --> 00:08:03,852
LITTLE MORE PANCAKE
UNDER THE EYES.
208
00:08:03,935 --> 00:08:04,728
THANKS, BABE.
209
00:08:04,811 --> 00:08:05,228
YOU'RE WELCOME
210
00:08:05,312 --> 00:08:07,564
AND DON'T CALL ME BABE.
211
00:08:07,647 --> 00:08:08,732
OKEY-DOKEY.
212
00:08:08,815 --> 00:08:10,901
LOOK LIKE YOU'RE GETTING
PRETTY GOOD AT THIS.
213
00:08:10,984 --> 00:08:13,111
WELL, I
SUPPOSE I AM.
214
00:08:13,195 --> 00:08:14,946
I WASN'T REAL
SURE AT FIRST
215
00:08:15,030 --> 00:08:18,658
BUT NOW I RECKON I'VE TURNED
INTO A PRETTY GOOD ACTOR.
216
00:08:18,742 --> 00:08:20,160
THEY LIKE ME, ARNOLD.
217
00:08:20,243 --> 00:08:21,494
THEY REALLY LIKE ME.
218
00:08:21,578 --> 00:08:24,998
I FINALLY FOUND THE ONE
THING I'M REALLY GOOD AT.
219
00:08:25,081 --> 00:08:27,334
THE ONE THING THAT
MAKES ME SPECIAL.
220
00:08:27,417 --> 00:08:29,127
IT AIN'T EVERY KID
WHO'S A GOOD ACTOR.
221
00:08:29,211 --> 00:08:31,713
SO I GUESS THAT MAKES ME
222
00:08:31,796 --> 00:08:33,715
SPECIAL AT SOMETHING, DON'T IT?
223
00:08:33,798 --> 00:08:34,758
I GUESS IT DOES.
224
00:08:34,841 --> 00:08:36,092
THAT'S WHAT THEY
CALL "THE BEST BOY."
225
00:08:36,176 --> 00:08:38,803
DON'T MEAN HE
HAS TO BE A BOY
226
00:08:38,887 --> 00:08:41,014
IT'S JUST WHAT
THEY CALL THE FELLER
227
00:08:41,097 --> 00:08:42,974
WHO HELPS FIX UP
ALL THE LIGHTS.
228
00:08:43,058 --> 00:08:44,935
IT'S ONE OF THEM
TECHNICAL WORDS.
229
00:08:45,018 --> 00:08:45,769
BEST BOY.
230
00:08:45,852 --> 00:08:47,270
Director:
HE'S THE WORLD'S
WORST ACTOR
231
00:08:47,354 --> 00:08:50,690
BUT HE'S SO BAD
AT READING HIS LINES
232
00:08:50,774 --> 00:08:51,233
THAT IT'S FUNNY.
233
00:08:51,316 --> 00:08:53,193
THE POINT
WAS TO FIND
234
00:08:53,276 --> 00:08:54,945
THE DOPIEST-
SOUNDING KID
235
00:08:55,028 --> 00:08:57,072
THE WORST ACTOR
IN THE WORLD
236
00:08:57,155 --> 00:08:58,532
AND WE FOUND HIM.
237
00:08:58,615 --> 00:09:01,701
I MEAN, EVEN
HIS NAME IS DOPEY.
238
00:09:01,785 --> 00:09:04,079
STINKY? STINKY PETERSEN?
239
00:09:04,162 --> 00:09:05,830
STINKY.
240
00:09:05,914 --> 00:09:07,582
SO I'M A BIG
JOKE, HUH?
241
00:09:07,666 --> 00:09:09,960
MAYBE IT'S JUST
A MISUNDERSTANDING.
242
00:09:10,043 --> 00:09:12,504
THE ONLY ONE WITH
A MISUNDERSTANDING
243
00:09:12,587 --> 00:09:13,546
IS ME, ARNOLD.
244
00:09:13,630 --> 00:09:16,591
I GUESS I'M NOT SPECIAL
AFTER ALL.
245
00:09:16,675 --> 00:09:18,385
STINKY, WAIT.
246
00:09:18,468 --> 00:09:20,011
Director:
IT'S HILARIOUS.
247
00:09:20,095 --> 00:09:21,846
A "YAHOO"
SELLING YAHOO.
248
00:09:21,930 --> 00:09:23,723
WE'RE GOING TO MAKE
A FORTUNE OFF HIM.
249
00:09:33,942 --> 00:09:38,613
( kids cheering )
250
00:09:54,921 --> 00:09:56,840
NO, SIR.
251
00:09:56,923 --> 00:09:57,966
I AIN'T
DOING IT.
252
00:09:58,049 --> 00:09:59,259
NOT NO WAY,
NOT NO HOW.
253
00:09:59,342 --> 00:10:01,803
SON, PLEASE,
SIGN THE CONTRACT.
254
00:10:01,886 --> 00:10:03,847
PLEASE,
WE'RE BEGGING YOU.
255
00:10:03,930 --> 00:10:06,891
Y'ALL CAN FIND
YOURSELVES ANOTHER FOOL.
256
00:10:06,975 --> 00:10:08,893
YOU HAVE TO SIGN THE CONTRACT.
257
00:10:08,977 --> 00:10:10,520
YOU'RE THE YAHOO SODA KID.
258
00:10:10,603 --> 00:10:12,939
THIS DEAL IS WORTH
A MILLION DOLLARS
259
00:10:13,023 --> 00:10:15,400
IN COMMERCIALS
AND PUBLIC APPEARANCES.
260
00:10:15,483 --> 00:10:16,359
NOTHING DOING.
261
00:10:16,443 --> 00:10:19,279
PLEASE, STINKY,
SIGN THE PAPERS.
262
00:10:19,362 --> 00:10:21,656
IT'S A MILLION DOLLARS.
263
00:10:21,740 --> 00:10:22,324
NO DEAL.
264
00:10:22,407 --> 00:10:24,451
( whimpers )
265
00:10:24,534 --> 00:10:25,994
IT'S HOPELESS.
266
00:10:26,077 --> 00:10:27,746
I CAN'T TALK TO THIS KID.
267
00:10:27,829 --> 00:10:29,456
THIS IS IT...
268
00:10:29,539 --> 00:10:31,541
( door closes )
269
00:10:31,624 --> 00:10:34,544
( wailing ):
WHY? WHY?!
270
00:10:34,627 --> 00:10:36,421
I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.
271
00:10:36,504 --> 00:10:37,422
WHAT AN IDIOT.
272
00:10:37,505 --> 00:10:39,716
( sobbing inconsolably )
273
00:10:39,799 --> 00:10:43,803
I ALWAYS KNEW HE'D NEVER
MAKE IT TO THE BIG TIME.
274
00:10:43,887 --> 00:10:47,849
( sobbing continues... )
275
00:10:49,976 --> 00:10:52,103
( car horns honking )
276
00:10:55,315 --> 00:10:56,232
HEY, STINKY.
277
00:10:56,316 --> 00:10:57,192
HOWDY, ARNOLD.
278
00:10:57,275 --> 00:10:58,735
Arnold:
I'M SORRY THINGS
279
00:10:58,818 --> 00:11:00,070
DIDN'T WORK OUT
THE WAY YOU WANTED.
280
00:11:00,153 --> 00:11:01,029
THANKS, ARNOLD.
281
00:11:01,112 --> 00:11:03,198
I APPRECIATE THAT.
282
00:11:03,281 --> 00:11:03,281
YOU WANTED
TO BE SPECIAL.
283
00:11:03,281 --> 00:11:06,042
YEP.
284
00:11:06,042 --> 00:11:06,042
YOU WANTED
TO BE SPECIAL.
285
00:11:06,042 --> 00:11:06,159
YEP.
286
00:11:07,827 --> 00:11:09,746
JUST BECAUSE THIS
DIDN'T WORK OUT
287
00:11:09,829 --> 00:11:11,164
DOESN'T MEAN YOU
SHOULD GIVE UP HOPE.
288
00:11:11,247 --> 00:11:13,833
YOU'LL FIND
SOMETHING
289
00:11:13,917 --> 00:11:15,460
THAT MAKES YOU
FEEL SPECIAL.
290
00:11:15,543 --> 00:11:16,586
OH, I AM SPECIAL.
291
00:11:16,669 --> 00:11:18,171
I TURNED DOWN A MILLION-
DOLLAR CONTRACT
292
00:11:18,254 --> 00:11:19,255
SO I COULD
HANG ON
293
00:11:19,339 --> 00:11:21,049
TO SOMETHING
MORE IMPORTANT.
294
00:11:21,132 --> 00:11:22,967
WHAT'S THAT?
295
00:11:23,051 --> 00:11:24,469
MY PRIDE, ARNOLD.
296
00:11:24,552 --> 00:11:26,429
LOTS OF PEOPLE GOT PRIDE
297
00:11:26,513 --> 00:11:29,265
BUT I GOT
A MILLION DOLLARS' WORTH.
298
00:11:29,349 --> 00:11:32,185
AND THE WAY I FIGURE IT,
THAT MAKES ME SPECIAL.
299
00:11:32,268 --> 00:11:33,895
YEAH, I GUESS IT DOES.
300
00:11:33,978 --> 00:11:36,064
BESIDES...
301
00:11:36,147 --> 00:11:37,607
I GOT THE REST
OF MY LIFE
302
00:11:37,691 --> 00:11:39,234
TO FIGURE OUT
OTHER STUFF
303
00:11:39,317 --> 00:11:40,652
I CAN BE GOOD AT.
304
00:11:41,486 --> 00:11:44,239
MAYBE I'LL BE
AN ASTRONAUT
305
00:11:44,322 --> 00:11:46,616
OR A SCIENTIST
OR SOMETHING.
306
00:11:46,699 --> 00:11:46,783
MAYBE.
307
00:11:54,582 --> 00:11:55,208
( school bell ringing )
308
00:11:55,291 --> 00:11:57,168
Rhonda:
HEY, HELGA.
309
00:11:57,252 --> 00:11:58,294
I HEARD YOUR SISTER,
OLGA
310
00:11:58,378 --> 00:11:59,963
IS COMING HOME
FROM COLLEGE.
311
00:12:00,046 --> 00:12:01,631
SHE'S SO GREAT.
312
00:12:01,715 --> 00:12:02,340
SHE'S PRETTY
AND POPULAR
313
00:12:02,424 --> 00:12:05,093
AND A FABULOUS
DRESSER.
314
00:12:05,176 --> 00:12:07,595
NOT TO MENTION
AN AWARD-WINNING
SCHOLAR.
315
00:12:07,679 --> 00:12:09,556
AND SHE'S SO NICE
AND FRIENDLY.
316
00:12:09,639 --> 00:12:12,058
YOU MUST LOVE
HAVING HER
AS A SISTER.
317
00:12:12,142 --> 00:12:13,768
OH, YEAH.
I JUST LOVE OLGA.
318
00:12:15,687 --> 00:12:18,148
Olga:
THEN, WHEN I FINISH MY CONCERTO
319
00:12:18,231 --> 00:12:19,149
ROSES AT MY FEET
320
00:12:19,232 --> 00:12:21,067
THE ENTIRE ORCHESTRA
321
00:12:21,151 --> 00:12:23,319
GAVE ME A
STANDING OVATION.
322
00:12:23,403 --> 00:12:24,404
THAT'S MY GIRL.
323
00:12:24,487 --> 00:12:25,447
( growls )
324
00:12:25,530 --> 00:12:26,990
HERE I AM ON THE COVER
325
00:12:27,073 --> 00:12:28,283
OF LEADERS OF TOMORROW.
326
00:12:28,366 --> 00:12:29,284
WITH THE RAJA OF MALGUWAY.
327
00:12:29,367 --> 00:12:31,578
HE'S OODLES OF FUN.
328
00:12:31,661 --> 00:12:34,330
I'M JUST SO PROUD
OF YOU, DEAR.
329
00:12:34,414 --> 00:12:36,374
I'M GOING TO BARF.
330
00:12:36,458 --> 00:12:38,084
THE BEST NEWS
FOR LAST:
331
00:12:38,168 --> 00:12:39,294
I'VE MET A BOY
332
00:12:39,377 --> 00:12:40,920
I'M QUITTING SCHOOL,
TO MARRY HIM
333
00:12:41,004 --> 00:12:42,964
AND MOVE TO THE BIG CITY.
334
00:12:43,047 --> 00:12:43,965
IS THIS A JOKE?
335
00:12:44,048 --> 00:12:46,009
NO, DADDY, IT'S THE BEST THING
336
00:12:46,092 --> 00:12:47,469
THAT EVER HAPPENED TO ME.
337
00:12:47,552 --> 00:12:50,138
HE'S HANDSOME, DREAMY
AND A FABULOUS ACTOR.
338
00:12:50,221 --> 00:12:52,098
HE'S NOT
FAMOUS YET.
339
00:12:52,182 --> 00:12:54,726
I'LL GET A JOB
AND SUPPORT US.
340
00:12:54,809 --> 00:12:57,312
YOU'RE THROWING
YOUR LIFE AWAY.
341
00:12:57,395 --> 00:12:59,314
OLGA, DON'T MAKE THE
SAME MISTAKE I MADE.
342
00:12:59,397 --> 00:13:03,276
GEE, OLGA,
THIS IS GREAT NEWS.
343
00:13:03,359 --> 00:13:05,695
WHEN CAN WE MEET HIM?
344
00:13:05,778 --> 00:13:07,989
Man:
I CAN'T REMEMBER LIFE
BEFORE MY DARLING OLGA.
345
00:13:08,072 --> 00:13:11,284
SHE KNOWS MY DEEPEST TORMENTS
AND MY DARKEST FEARS.
346
00:13:11,367 --> 00:13:14,579
SHE'S MY ANGEL, MY SOULMATE.
347
00:13:14,662 --> 00:13:16,039
MY SHINING LIGHT.
348
00:13:16,122 --> 00:13:18,208
THIS GUY'S ALL HAT
AND NO CATTLE.
349
00:13:18,291 --> 00:13:20,877
HOW LONG HAVE YOU
TWO KNOWN EACH OTHER?
350
00:13:20,960 --> 00:13:23,379
THREE WEEKS
AND TWO DAYS.
351
00:13:23,463 --> 00:13:25,673
SO WHAT'S THE
STINKING RUSH ALL ABOUT?
352
00:13:25,757 --> 00:13:28,593
GET MARRIED IN A YEAR,
IF YOU STILL WANT TO.
353
00:13:28,676 --> 00:13:29,761
YOU WON'T WANT TO.
354
00:13:29,844 --> 00:13:32,096
MOMMY, DADDY,
PLEASE DON'T BE HORRID.
355
00:13:32,180 --> 00:13:33,306
IT'S OKAY, DARLING.
356
00:13:33,389 --> 00:13:35,391
YOUR PARENTS
NEED TIME TO ADJUST.
357
00:13:35,475 --> 00:13:36,768
YOU LITTLE TWIST TOP.
358
00:13:36,851 --> 00:13:38,728
BIG BOB PATAKI
DOESN'T ADJUST, GOT IT?
359
00:13:38,811 --> 00:13:39,854
DADDY?
360
00:13:39,938 --> 00:13:41,105
IT'S NOT FAIR
361
00:13:41,189 --> 00:13:44,651
TO MAKE OLGA CHOOSE
BETWEEN US AND HER TRUE LOVE.
362
00:13:44,734 --> 00:13:46,277
HELGA'S RIGHT,
DADDY.
363
00:13:46,361 --> 00:13:47,737
YOU'RE BEING AN AWFUL BRUTE.
364
00:13:47,820 --> 00:13:52,742
AND, MOMMY, YOU'RE NOT EVEN
TRYING TO LIKE DOUG.
365
00:13:52,825 --> 00:13:54,244
I AM SO MISERABLE.
366
00:13:54,327 --> 00:13:57,205
( sobbing )
367
00:14:04,170 --> 00:14:10,468
IF I PLAY MY CARDS RIGHT, I CAN
GET RID OF OLGA FOR GOOD.
368
00:14:10,552 --> 00:14:14,264
( Olga sobbing )
369
00:14:14,347 --> 00:14:15,306
SNAP OUT OF IT.
370
00:14:15,390 --> 00:14:17,517
I CAN'T, HELGA.
371
00:14:17,600 --> 00:14:18,434
I'M JUST SO UPSET.
372
00:14:18,518 --> 00:14:19,602
THEN DO SOMETHING.
373
00:14:19,686 --> 00:14:22,355
LIKE RUN AWAY AND GET MARRIED.
374
00:14:22,438 --> 00:14:23,898
HELGA, WE CAN'T ELOPE.
375
00:14:23,982 --> 00:14:25,149
MOMMY AND DADDY WOULD BE
FURIOUS.
376
00:14:25,233 --> 00:14:27,068
I KNOW.
377
00:14:27,151 --> 00:14:29,487
I MEAN, THAT
WOULD BE TERRIBLE
378
00:14:29,571 --> 00:14:31,281
BUT ISN'T IT
WORSE THINKING
379
00:14:31,364 --> 00:14:34,784
ABOUT LIFE
WITHOUT DOUG?
380
00:14:34,867 --> 00:14:37,245
( sobbing... )
381
00:14:37,328 --> 00:14:39,789
I THOUGHT SO.
382
00:14:39,872 --> 00:14:40,873
HERE'S THE DEAL:
383
00:14:40,957 --> 00:14:42,959
START PACKING,
I'LL GO OUTSIDE
384
00:14:43,042 --> 00:14:45,128
SNEAK THE LADDER
UNDER YOUR WINDOW.
385
00:14:45,211 --> 00:14:46,254
YOU'LL BE MARRIED
IN NO TIME.
386
00:14:46,337 --> 00:14:51,342
HELGA, I FEEL LIKE, LIKE WE'RE
TRULY BONDING AT LAST.
387
00:14:51,426 --> 00:14:53,303
I JUST DON'T KNOW
HOW TO THANK YOU.
388
00:14:53,386 --> 00:14:55,138
DON'T MENTION IT.
389
00:14:55,221 --> 00:14:58,099
OH, BOY.
390
00:15:01,060 --> 00:15:04,105
SO YOU PLAYED LEFT TACKLE
FOR GREEN BAY, HUH?
391
00:15:04,188 --> 00:15:06,983
Doug:
YEAH, THEY'RE THE TOUGHEST
GUYS AROUND--
392
00:15:07,066 --> 00:15:08,776
NEXT TO RETAIL SALESMEN.
393
00:15:08,860 --> 00:15:09,902
SALESMEN? COME ON.
394
00:15:09,986 --> 00:15:11,863
YOU'RE JUST GREASING MY CHASSIS.
395
00:15:11,946 --> 00:15:13,615
NO, SIR, THE PROUDEST MOMENT
OF MY LIFE
396
00:15:13,698 --> 00:15:15,783
WON'T BE FROM MY FOOTBALL DAYS
397
00:15:15,867 --> 00:15:18,828
BUT WHEN I'M NAMED SALESMAN
OF THE YEAR.
398
00:15:18,911 --> 00:15:20,496
WHAT'S THIS GUY UP TO?
399
00:15:20,580 --> 00:15:23,166
ONE DAY, I'LL MAKE ENOUGH MONEY
AS AN ACTOR
400
00:15:23,249 --> 00:15:24,751
TO START MY OWN MAJOR APPLIANCE
CHAIN.
401
00:15:24,834 --> 00:15:28,421
APPLIANCE CHAIN,
THAT WAS MY DREAM.
402
00:15:28,504 --> 00:15:31,507
OH, GEE, YOU'LL BE
THE SON I NEVER HAD.
403
00:15:31,591 --> 00:15:35,762
AND ONE DAY,
BIG BOB'S BEEPER EMPORIUM
WILL BE ALL YOURS.
404
00:15:35,845 --> 00:15:36,846
CRIMINY!
405
00:15:36,929 --> 00:15:39,098
DADDY HATED THIS GUY
TEN MINUTES AGO.
406
00:15:46,356 --> 00:15:49,275
OLGA, DARLING, OH,
IT'S YOU, MRS. PATAKI.
407
00:15:49,359 --> 00:15:51,235
GOODNESS, YOU
LOOK SO YOUNG
408
00:15:51,319 --> 00:15:52,987
I MUST CONFESS,
FOR A MOMENT
409
00:15:53,071 --> 00:15:55,907
I COULD'VE SWORN YOU
WERE MY BELOVED OLGA.
410
00:15:55,990 --> 00:15:57,700
THAT'S VERY
SWEET, DOUGLAS
411
00:15:57,784 --> 00:15:59,160
BUT IT IS NOT TRUE.
412
00:15:59,243 --> 00:16:00,119
OH, YES IT IS.
413
00:16:00,203 --> 00:16:02,205
THE ONLY DIFFERENCE
BETWEEN YOU
414
00:16:02,288 --> 00:16:02,288
UGH!
415
00:16:02,288 --> 00:16:02,704
IS YOUR POWERFUL,
ATHLETIC SHOULDERS.
416
00:16:02,704 --> 00:16:02,704
UGH!
417
00:16:02,704 --> 00:16:05,291
IS YOUR POWERFUL,
ATHLETIC SHOULDERS.
418
00:16:05,375 --> 00:16:06,626
WELL, I DON'T LIKE
TO BRAG, BUT...
419
00:16:06,709 --> 00:16:09,337
I USED TO BE AN
OLYMPIC-CLASS SWIMMER.
420
00:16:09,420 --> 00:16:11,255
REALLY?
421
00:16:11,339 --> 00:16:12,840
WHAT A COINCIDENCE.
422
00:16:12,924 --> 00:16:15,134
I WAS AN OLYMPIC-
CLASS DIVER.
423
00:16:15,218 --> 00:16:16,511
OLYMPIC-CLASS LIAR, YOU MEAN.
424
00:16:16,594 --> 00:16:17,720
HEY, DOUGMEISTER?
425
00:16:17,804 --> 00:16:19,639
IT'S FOURTH DOWN
AND INCHES.
426
00:16:19,722 --> 00:16:22,725
OH, THAT "B"
AND HIS FOOTBALL.
427
00:16:22,809 --> 00:16:25,603
I NEVER REALLY UNDERSTOOD
FOOTBALL, MIRIAM.
428
00:16:25,687 --> 00:16:27,063
SUCH A COARSE GAME.
429
00:16:27,146 --> 00:16:29,315
OH, MAN,
THIS GUY'S A TOTAL LIAR.
430
00:16:29,399 --> 00:16:32,402
IF OLGA MARRIES HIM,
HER LIFE WILL BE RUINED.
431
00:16:32,485 --> 00:16:34,112
PERFECT.
432
00:16:34,195 --> 00:16:35,738
NEW PLAN:
FORGET WHAT I SAID
433
00:16:35,822 --> 00:16:37,490
ABOUT RUNNING AWAY
WITH DOUG.
434
00:16:37,573 --> 00:16:38,825
EVERYTHING'S CHANGED.
435
00:16:38,908 --> 00:16:39,784
WHAT HAPPENED?
436
00:16:39,867 --> 00:16:41,619
DOUG WORKED MOM
AND DAD OVER...
437
00:16:41,703 --> 00:16:43,496
I, I MEAN
HE WON THEM OVER.
438
00:16:43,579 --> 00:16:45,373
SO NOW THEY'RE
CRAZY ABOUT HIM.
439
00:16:45,456 --> 00:16:46,999
I KNEW IT,
I JUST KNEW THEY'D LOVE HIM.
440
00:16:47,083 --> 00:16:51,504
YEAH, I COULDN'T HAVE PICKED
ANYONE BETTER MYSELF.
441
00:16:51,587 --> 00:16:53,923
( kids ooh, ah... )
442
00:16:54,006 --> 00:16:55,508
WOW, HELGA,
I HAD NO IDEA
443
00:16:55,591 --> 00:16:58,428
DOUG USED TO BE
A PROFESSIONAL
RACE CAR DRIVER.
444
00:16:58,511 --> 00:16:59,053
WISE UP, ARNOLD.
445
00:16:59,137 --> 00:16:59,137
THE GUY'S A FAKE.
446
00:16:59,137 --> 00:17:01,097
A FAKE?
447
00:17:01,180 --> 00:17:02,432
HE'S LIED ABOUT
ALL THE STUFF HE'S DONE
448
00:17:02,515 --> 00:17:04,600
SINCE HE GOT HERE.
449
00:17:04,684 --> 00:17:07,103
HE'S PLANNING ON LIVING OFF
OLGA AND MY DAD.
450
00:17:07,186 --> 00:17:08,730
YOUR SISTER STILL
WANTS TO MARRY HIM?
451
00:17:08,813 --> 00:17:12,024
SHE DOESN'T KNOW ANYTHING
ABOUT IT.
452
00:17:12,108 --> 00:17:12,734
IT'S MY LITTLE SECRET.
453
00:17:12,817 --> 00:17:14,694
IF HE'S AS BAD AS YOU SAY HE IS
454
00:17:14,777 --> 00:17:16,279
YOU'VE GOT TO
DO SOMETHING, HELGA.
455
00:17:16,362 --> 00:17:18,531
NO, I DON'T.
456
00:17:18,614 --> 00:17:19,949
IT SERVES HER RIGHT.
457
00:17:20,032 --> 00:17:22,452
OLGA'S ALWAYS GOT TO BE
SO PERFECT.
458
00:17:22,535 --> 00:17:24,954
IT'S JUST THAT
IF YOUR SISTER IS IN TROUBLE
459
00:17:25,037 --> 00:17:26,956
YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO DO SOMETHING.
460
00:17:27,039 --> 00:17:28,750
HEY, WHO ASKED YOU, ANYWAY?
461
00:17:28,833 --> 00:17:32,336
OKAY, FORGET I
MENTIONED IT, HELGA.
462
00:17:34,630 --> 00:17:35,339
Doug:
HARK....
463
00:17:35,423 --> 00:17:38,468
WHAT LIGHT FROM
YONDER WINDOW BREAKS?
464
00:17:38,551 --> 00:17:41,262
IT IS THE EAST
AND JULIET IS THE SUN.
465
00:17:41,345 --> 00:17:41,721
THAT'S REAL GOOD.
466
00:17:41,804 --> 00:17:43,806
SHAKESPEARE, MIRIAM.
467
00:17:43,890 --> 00:17:44,807
UH-HUH.
468
00:17:44,891 --> 00:17:46,517
ROMEO, OH, ROMEO.
469
00:17:46,601 --> 00:17:46,601
( slurping )
470
00:17:46,601 --> 00:17:50,271
WHEREFORE ART THOU, ROMEO?
471
00:17:50,354 --> 00:17:53,900
( kids shouting and shrieking )
472
00:17:53,983 --> 00:17:54,442
( knocking on door )
473
00:17:54,525 --> 00:17:57,153
WHAT A SURPRISE!
474
00:17:57,236 --> 00:17:58,654
ALL MY FAVORITE PEOPLE.
475
00:17:58,738 --> 00:17:59,989
SORRY I CAN'T STAY.
476
00:18:00,072 --> 00:18:02,158
DID OLGA TELL YOU THE GOOD NEWS?
477
00:18:02,241 --> 00:18:04,619
( wearily ):
DOUG'S IN THE ASTRONAUT PROGRAM.
478
00:18:04,702 --> 00:18:07,580
I'M GOING TO MARS.
479
00:18:07,663 --> 00:18:09,290
SO, LET ME GIVE YOU
THE WHOLE TOUR.
480
00:18:09,373 --> 00:18:12,251
THIS IS IT.
481
00:18:15,004 --> 00:18:17,298
I'M SO UNHAPPY.
482
00:18:17,381 --> 00:18:21,135
Bob:
OH, FOR CRYING
OUT LOUD.
483
00:18:21,219 --> 00:18:22,094
SUCK IT UP.
484
00:18:22,178 --> 00:18:23,471
YOU RUINED YOUR LIFE;
485
00:18:23,554 --> 00:18:24,764
NOW LIVE WITH IT.
486
00:18:24,847 --> 00:18:27,016
WHY AREN'T YOU SMART LIKE HELGA?
487
00:18:27,099 --> 00:18:27,099
SHE'S BRILLIANT.
488
00:18:27,099 --> 00:18:29,769
Bob:
SHE IS SMART.
489
00:18:29,852 --> 00:18:30,728
AND YOU ARE...
490
00:18:30,812 --> 00:18:31,562
( chuckling )
491
00:18:31,646 --> 00:18:34,148
WHAT'S SO FUNNY,
HELGA?
492
00:18:34,232 --> 00:18:35,858
NOTHING.
493
00:18:36,818 --> 00:18:37,693
Olga:
OH, DARLING HELGA.
494
00:18:37,777 --> 00:18:39,570
ISN'T IT JUST WONDERFUL?
495
00:18:39,654 --> 00:18:42,532
LESS THAN AN HOUR
FROM NOW
496
00:18:42,615 --> 00:18:44,408
I'LL BE
MRS. DOUG LECHAT.
497
00:18:44,492 --> 00:18:46,869
OH, IT'S ALL JUST TOO PERFECT.
498
00:18:46,953 --> 00:18:48,246
ISN'T IT?
499
00:18:48,329 --> 00:18:49,872
I'M SORRY I'M CRYING, HELGA.
500
00:18:49,956 --> 00:18:52,375
IT'S JUST THAT
I KNOW MY LIFE WITH DOUG
501
00:18:52,458 --> 00:18:54,710
IS GOING TO BE SO WONDERFUL
AND HAPPY.
502
00:18:54,794 --> 00:18:57,547
AND I WANT TO THANK YOU FOR
HELPING ME MAKE IT ALL POSSIBLE.
503
00:18:57,630 --> 00:18:59,966
DON'T MENTION IT.
504
00:19:00,049 --> 00:19:02,844
IT'S IMPORTANT TO ME THAT
MOM AND DAD LIKE DOUG
505
00:19:02,927 --> 00:19:05,221
BUT IT MEANT THE MOST
THAT YOU LIKED HIM.
506
00:19:05,304 --> 00:19:06,931
I'VE NEVER TOLD YOU,
BUT I ALWAYS THOUGHT
507
00:19:07,014 --> 00:19:10,393
YOU WERE REALLY WISE
ABOUT JUDGING PEOPLE.
508
00:19:10,476 --> 00:19:10,726
REALLY?
509
00:19:10,810 --> 00:19:12,311
REALLY.
510
00:19:12,395 --> 00:19:14,313
WE HAVEN'T ALWAYS
BEEN VERY CLOSE.
511
00:19:14,397 --> 00:19:17,775
BUT I'M REALLY, REALLY GLAD
YOU'RE MY SISTER, HELGA.
512
00:19:17,859 --> 00:19:20,194
I COULDN'T IMAGINE
HAVING A BETTER ONE.
513
00:19:23,197 --> 00:19:26,701
I WAS SO CLOSE. GEEZ!
514
00:19:26,784 --> 00:19:29,662
NO, SWEETHEART,
I CAN'T MAKE IT THIS WEEKEND.
515
00:19:29,745 --> 00:19:32,707
I'M, UH, HOSTING A CONFERENCE
WITH THE MAYOR
516
00:19:32,790 --> 00:19:34,792
ON THE, UH, THE HOMELESS
PROBLEM.
517
00:19:34,876 --> 00:19:35,585
BUT HOW ABOUT NEXT WEEK?
518
00:19:35,668 --> 00:19:36,752
WE'LL GO SKIING.
519
00:19:36,836 --> 00:19:38,337
I MISS YOU, TOO, LINDA.
520
00:19:38,421 --> 00:19:40,298
BYE.
521
00:19:40,381 --> 00:19:41,674
HELLO, DOUG.
522
00:19:41,757 --> 00:19:42,967
OH, OH, HI, HELGA.
523
00:19:43,050 --> 00:19:44,927
I WAS JUST TALKING
TO MY COUSIN.
524
00:19:45,011 --> 00:19:47,346
I RECENTLY SAVED
HER LIFE IN A FLOOD.
525
00:19:47,430 --> 00:19:49,682
ALL RIGHT, BUDDY,
THE JIG'S UP.
526
00:19:49,765 --> 00:19:50,474
JIG? I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
527
00:19:50,558 --> 00:19:51,601
IS THIS A GAME?
528
00:19:51,684 --> 00:19:54,145
IT MAY BE A GAME TO YOU;
529
00:19:54,228 --> 00:19:55,438
IT WAS TO ME.
530
00:19:55,521 --> 00:19:56,939
BUT NOW THE GAME'S OVER.
531
00:19:57,023 --> 00:19:58,691
PICK UP YOUR MARBLES
AND HIT THE ROAD.
532
00:19:58,774 --> 00:20:01,444
WHAT'S THE JOKE?
533
00:20:01,527 --> 00:20:02,445
YOU ARE, BUCKO.
534
00:20:02,528 --> 00:20:04,280
"APPLIANCE SALESMEN
OF THE YEAR."
535
00:20:04,363 --> 00:20:05,114
"I WAS AN
OLYMPIC SWIMMER."
536
00:20:05,197 --> 00:20:08,284
COME ON, YOU'RE A LIAR
AND A CON ARTIST.
537
00:20:08,367 --> 00:20:11,621
YOU PLAYED MY SISTER FOR A SAP;
I WENT ALONG WITH IT
538
00:20:11,704 --> 00:20:14,206
BECAUSE I WANTED
TO SEE HER SUFFER.
539
00:20:14,290 --> 00:20:15,750
BUT ENOUGH IS ENOUGH.
540
00:20:15,833 --> 00:20:17,126
YOU THINK
YOU'VE GOT ME
541
00:20:17,209 --> 00:20:18,878
ALL FIGURED OUT,
IS THAT IT?
542
00:20:18,961 --> 00:20:19,962
YEAH, THAT'S IT.
543
00:20:20,046 --> 00:20:20,963
HERE'S THE DEAL:
544
00:20:21,047 --> 00:20:22,298
EITHER YOU LEAVE NOW
545
00:20:22,381 --> 00:20:23,716
OR I SPILL THE BEANS
546
00:20:23,799 --> 00:20:26,969
AND TEAR YOUR ACT DOWN
IN FRONT OF MOM, DAD AND...
547
00:20:27,053 --> 00:20:28,012
YOU'RE BLUFFING.
548
00:20:28,095 --> 00:20:29,472
OLGA'S CRAZY ABOUT ME
549
00:20:29,555 --> 00:20:31,140
AND SO ARE YOUR MOM AND DAD.
550
00:20:31,224 --> 00:20:33,935
WHATEVER YOU SAY, BUCKO,
I'LL JUST DENY IT.
551
00:20:34,018 --> 00:20:34,560
THEY WON'T
BELIEVE YOU.
552
00:20:34,644 --> 00:20:36,562
HOW DO YOU KNOW?
553
00:20:36,646 --> 00:20:37,605
BECAUSE YOU'RE JEALOUS OF OLGA.
554
00:20:37,688 --> 00:20:39,857
EVERYBODY KNOWS IT.
555
00:20:39,941 --> 00:20:42,318
SHE'S PRETTIER, SUCCESSFUL
AND POPULAR.
556
00:20:42,401 --> 00:20:43,527
WHAT'S YOUR POINT?
557
00:20:43,611 --> 00:20:45,696
WELL, WHATEVER OLGA WANTS,
OLGA GETS.
558
00:20:45,780 --> 00:20:49,283
AND IN ABOUT TEN MINUTES,
SHE GETS ME FOR A HUSBAND
559
00:20:49,367 --> 00:20:52,078
AND I GET A CUSHY RIDE
ON THE PATAKI BEEPER TRAIN.
560
00:20:52,161 --> 00:20:55,665
YOU'RE NOT SMART
ENOUGH TO MESS WITH ME
561
00:20:55,748 --> 00:20:57,166
SO DON'T EVEN TRY.
562
00:20:57,249 --> 00:20:58,417
LET'S SEE.
563
00:20:58,501 --> 00:21:00,795
IF I PUSH THIS REDIAL BUTTON...
564
00:21:00,878 --> 00:21:01,837
HELLO, LINDA?
565
00:21:01,921 --> 00:21:04,006
IT'S HELGA, OLGA'S SISTER.
566
00:21:04,090 --> 00:21:04,840
YOU DON'T KNOW OLGA?
567
00:21:04,924 --> 00:21:07,093
SHE'S DOUG'S FIANCEE.
568
00:21:07,176 --> 00:21:10,012
THERE'S A LOT YOU DON'T KNOW
ABOUT DOUG.
569
00:21:10,096 --> 00:21:10,263
WHERE DO I START?
570
00:21:14,892 --> 00:21:16,519
WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?
571
00:21:16,602 --> 00:21:18,229
YOU DON'T EVEN LIKE OLGA.
572
00:21:18,312 --> 00:21:20,356
WHEN YOUR SISTER'S IN TROUBLE
573
00:21:20,439 --> 00:21:21,607
YOU DO SOMETHING.
574
00:21:21,691 --> 00:21:23,192
IT DOESN'T MATTER
IF YOU LIKE HER
575
00:21:23,275 --> 00:21:25,569
YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO DO SOMETHING
ABOUT IT.
576
00:21:25,653 --> 00:21:30,908
IT MIGHT LOOK BAD IF I JUST
LEAVE WITHOUT SAYING GOOD-BYE.
577
00:21:30,992 --> 00:21:31,659
I'LL TAKE CARE OF IT.
578
00:21:31,742 --> 00:21:33,869
I DID LIKE HER
579
00:21:33,953 --> 00:21:36,080
EVEN IF I DIDN'T ACTUALLY
LOVE HER.
580
00:21:36,163 --> 00:21:39,375
BUT, HEY, WHAT'S
LOVE ANYWAY?
581
00:21:42,003 --> 00:21:43,004
MY DEAREST OLGA
582
00:21:43,087 --> 00:21:45,131
WORDS CAN NEVER TRULY EXPRESS
583
00:21:45,214 --> 00:21:48,092
MY REGRET AND SORROW
FOR WHAT I MUST TELL YOU.
584
00:21:48,175 --> 00:21:49,051
I MUST LEAVE YOU, DARLING.
585
00:21:49,135 --> 00:21:51,762
I'VE BEEN CALLED AWAY TO...
586
00:21:51,846 --> 00:21:54,849
Olga:
I'VE BEEN CALLED AWAY TO HELP
SOLVE THE CRISIS
587
00:21:54,932 --> 00:21:57,268
IN NAMIBIA.
588
00:21:57,351 --> 00:21:58,811
OH, MOMMY, DADDY.
589
00:21:58,894 --> 00:21:59,979
HE'S LEAVING.
590
00:22:00,062 --> 00:22:02,398
"IT WOULD BE SELFISH
AND UNFAIR OF ME
591
00:22:02,481 --> 00:22:05,234
"TO ASK YOU TO MARRY ME
UNDER THESE TRAGIC CONDITIONS.
592
00:22:05,317 --> 00:22:10,823
"I HOPE YOU KNOW THAT MY LOVE
FOR YOU IS ETERNAL.
593
00:22:10,906 --> 00:22:14,160
YOURS ALWAYS, DOUG."
594
00:22:15,161 --> 00:22:17,872
I CAN'T BEAR TO LOSE HIM, HELGA.
595
00:22:17,955 --> 00:22:20,207
YET, HE'S SO RIGHT.
596
00:22:20,291 --> 00:22:22,418
IT WOULD HAVE BEEN UNFAIR FOR ME
597
00:22:22,501 --> 00:22:25,296
TO EXPECT TO KEEP HIM
ALL TO MYSELF.
598
00:22:25,379 --> 00:22:28,090
EVEN HIS FAREWELL LETTER WAS
BEAUTIFUL.
599
00:22:28,174 --> 00:22:30,342
YEAH, YEAH, SURE.
600
00:22:30,426 --> 00:22:34,972
I HAVE TO STAY STRONG.
601
00:22:35,056 --> 00:22:38,017
( sobbing ):
HE WOULD, HE WOULD BE STRONG.
602
00:22:40,269 --> 00:22:43,189
I DON'T EVEN KNOW
WHERE TO TURN NOW.
603
00:22:43,272 --> 00:22:45,524
Helga:
ALL RIGHT, THAT'S ENOUGH!
604
00:22:45,608 --> 00:22:47,568
SUCK IT UP, YOU BIG CRYBABY!
605
00:22:54,158 --> 00:22:58,120
and NICKELODEON
40807
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