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1
00:00:01,542 --> 00:00:01,834
Boop. Bop.
2
00:00:03,211 --> 00:00:05,546
Okay, I don't want
to overstate this,
3
00:00:05,838 --> 00:00:08,508
but these have to be the
best wedding gift bags ever.
4
00:00:08,799 --> 00:00:10,176
It's gonna be hard to beat
Gwyneth Paltrow's wedding.
5
00:00:10,468 --> 00:00:11,969
I heard they gave away
beautiful charcoal drawings
6
00:00:12,261 --> 00:00:13,721
of Gwyneth Paltrow.
Ooh.
7
00:00:14,013 --> 00:00:15,348
I can't believe
Brooke's getting married.
8
00:00:15,640 --> 00:00:17,058
We've never even met
this Elliot guy.
9
00:00:17,350 --> 00:00:18,726
I can't believe Jane and
Alex have an older sister.
10
00:00:19,018 --> 00:00:20,937
I mean, we never see her,
never talk about her,
11
00:00:21,229 --> 00:00:23,189
she never shows up
in any of your flashbacks.
12
00:00:23,481 --> 00:00:26,192
Flashbacks? That's what Jane and
Alex call their photo albums.
13
00:00:26,484 --> 00:00:27,944
God, Penny. Know what
things are called for once.
14
00:00:28,236 --> 00:00:29,946
Trust me, Brook is very real.
15
00:00:30,238 --> 00:00:32,532
She has a perfect job
in Hong Kong.
16
00:00:32,823 --> 00:00:33,950
Her hair smells like a perfect
beach made of cinnamon.
17
00:00:34,242 --> 00:00:35,660
She is perfect.
18
00:00:35,952 --> 00:00:37,537
And as maid of honor,
I need this wedding to be...
19
00:00:37,828 --> 00:00:38,955
Say it with me...
20
00:00:39,247 --> 00:00:41,332
Perfect.
Pearl Harbor.
21
00:00:41,624 --> 00:00:44,168
Pearl Harbor! 'Cause we want this
wedding to be da bomb! Nope.
22
00:00:44,460 --> 00:00:45,044
Just like that Michael
Bay movie "Armageddon."
23
00:00:45,336 --> 00:00:46,837
What?
24
00:00:47,129 --> 00:00:49,382
Jane, you're acting extra nuts,
and I'm not talking about
25
00:00:49,674 --> 00:00:51,801
"mistaking the teaspoon with
the tablespoon" kinda nuts.
26
00:00:52,093 --> 00:00:54,011
I'm talking about "Mel Gibson
downing a 5-hour energy
27
00:00:54,303 --> 00:00:56,556
"and by accident showing up
at a bar mitzvah" kinda nuts.
28
00:00:56,847 --> 00:00:58,266
Brooke makes Jane crazy.
She out-Janes Jane.
29
00:00:58,558 --> 00:00:59,642
She shows up, becomes the Jane,
30
00:00:59,934 --> 00:01:00,935
Jane gets bumped down
to Alex's level.
31
00:01:01,227 --> 00:01:02,687
And I just stay the baby.
32
00:01:02,979 --> 00:01:04,105
Look what Brooke got me so I
wouldn't be jealous of her ring.
33
00:01:05,147 --> 00:01:06,107
Oh, a little suck candy.
34
00:01:06,399 --> 00:01:07,733
I'm just glad I got invited.
35
00:01:08,025 --> 00:01:09,610
Like, I've known Brooke my whole
life and looked up to her,
36
00:01:09,902 --> 00:01:11,237
but I didn't know that
she would remember me.
37
00:01:11,529 --> 00:01:13,489
She doesn't. You and
Max are my plus-twos
38
00:01:13,781 --> 00:01:14,407
and you're gonna have to
park some cars.
39
00:01:14,699 --> 00:01:16,033
Jane!
40
00:01:16,325 --> 00:01:17,243
Babe, everything's gonna
be fine, all right?
41
00:01:17,535 --> 00:01:18,619
I'll be right by your side.
42
00:01:18,911 --> 00:01:19,662
I'll even let
your racist cousins ask me
43
00:01:19,954 --> 00:01:20,663
if I know Blair Underwood.
44
00:01:22,915 --> 00:01:24,625
Like... Like all black people
are friends are somethin'.
45
00:01:24,917 --> 00:01:25,459
I mean, come on.
46
00:01:27,253 --> 00:01:28,921
God, I wish I was friends
with Blair Underwood.
47
00:01:29,213 --> 00:01:31,257
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
48
00:01:31,549 --> 00:01:33,050
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
49
00:01:33,342 --> 00:01:35,219
My clay beads are ready!
50
00:01:35,511 --> 00:01:36,929
How many of you cool cats
wanna help me crank out
51
00:01:37,221 --> 00:01:38,681
a few necklaces?
52
00:01:38,973 --> 00:01:40,850
Oh! Oh, my goodness.
53
00:01:41,142 --> 00:01:42,560
Yes, oh, my goodness.
54
00:01:42,852 --> 00:01:43,811
I'm working with
some polymers right...
55
00:01:46,147 --> 00:01:46,897
Hey. What the...
56
00:01:48,941 --> 00:01:49,900
Alex, I can see you hiding.
57
00:01:51,986 --> 00:01:53,029
Can you still see me?
58
00:01:53,321 --> 00:01:53,988
Yes. Even more now.
59
00:01:54,947 --> 00:01:55,781
Fine!
60
00:01:56,699 --> 00:01:57,408
Nice try, though.
61
00:01:59,160 --> 00:02:00,453
So...
62
00:02:03,164 --> 00:02:04,790
When are we gonna tell
everybody about the thing?
63
00:02:05,082 --> 00:02:06,584
What thing?
64
00:02:06,876 --> 00:02:07,877
The thing about how we broke up.
65
00:02:08,169 --> 00:02:09,211
Oh, right.
66
00:02:09,503 --> 00:02:10,379
That thing.
67
00:02:22,558 --> 00:02:23,976
Wow.
68
00:02:24,268 --> 00:02:25,186
So this is really happening.
69
00:02:26,145 --> 00:02:27,855
We're breaking up.
70
00:02:28,147 --> 00:02:28,814
Yeah, when you say it out
loud like that,
71
00:02:29,106 --> 00:02:30,232
it just really sinks in.
72
00:02:32,068 --> 00:02:33,861
Like when I found out
Gossip Girl was a guy.
73
00:02:34,153 --> 00:02:34,820
Totally.
74
00:02:37,031 --> 00:02:38,366
So we both agree,
we don't tell everyone
75
00:02:38,658 --> 00:02:40,284
until after your
sister's wedding, right?
76
00:02:40,576 --> 00:02:42,912
Yeah, it would be too much
of a distraction.
77
00:02:43,204 --> 00:02:44,997
Plus, my family is so gossipy
78
00:02:45,289 --> 00:02:46,499
and they always
get the story wrong.
79
00:02:46,791 --> 00:02:48,709
Remember that one time you
said you like Sinead O'Connor,
80
00:02:49,001 --> 00:02:49,960
and by the time
it got back to us,
81
00:02:50,252 --> 00:02:51,879
you were teaching Wicca
at a women's college?
82
00:02:52,171 --> 00:02:53,464
You were the only one
that I told.
83
00:02:53,756 --> 00:02:54,340
Exactly.
84
00:02:56,592 --> 00:02:58,177
Strength, courage,
composure, no carbs.
85
00:02:58,469 --> 00:02:59,804
Strength, courage,
composure, no carbs.
86
00:03:00,096 --> 00:03:01,055
Uh-huh.
87
00:03:01,347 --> 00:03:01,931
Here we go.
88
00:03:03,349 --> 00:03:04,517
Hi, Brooke.
89
00:03:04,809 --> 00:03:05,810
Jane.
Oh!
90
00:03:06,102 --> 00:03:07,728
Welcome to my home!
91
00:03:08,020 --> 00:03:09,480
Thank you.
92
00:03:09,772 --> 00:03:13,317
And you must be black...
Elliot. Black Elliot?
93
00:03:13,609 --> 00:03:15,903
Yes. That's just a nickname that
we'll stop using immediately.
94
00:03:16,195 --> 00:03:18,406
Thank you for
having us to your home, Jane.
95
00:03:18,698 --> 00:03:20,116
Have you been renovating?
Hmm?
96
00:03:20,408 --> 00:03:22,451
Because it looks like everything's
covered with a thin layer of dust.
97
00:03:22,743 --> 00:03:24,245
Oh!
Ah.
98
00:03:24,537 --> 00:03:26,330
Good catch. Yeah, I must've
just cleaned thoroughly
99
00:03:26,622 --> 00:03:27,665
instead of compulsively.
100
00:03:27,957 --> 00:03:29,875
Brooke!
Hello.
101
00:03:30,167 --> 00:03:31,711
Gimme some love, girl.
Nice to see you.
102
00:03:32,002 --> 00:03:34,130
So good to see you.
103
00:03:34,422 --> 00:03:35,965
And look what you brought home.
104
00:03:36,257 --> 00:03:37,049
Mmm!
Ah.
105
00:03:37,341 --> 00:03:37,967
An Elliot.
106
00:03:39,135 --> 00:03:40,344
- Hello, everyone.
- Hi!
107
00:03:40,636 --> 00:03:41,721
Ah. Finally, another Elliot.
108
00:03:42,012 --> 00:03:43,431
Yeah.
109
00:03:43,723 --> 00:03:45,266
I haven't hung out with another
Elliot in, like, two years, man.
110
00:03:45,558 --> 00:03:46,809
Mmm.
111
00:03:48,561 --> 00:03:49,729
Uh-oh.
112
00:03:50,020 --> 00:03:51,063
You know, he even
smells like an Elliot.
113
00:03:51,355 --> 00:03:53,441
Ah. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
114
00:03:53,733 --> 00:03:54,859
Yeah, this is good.
Hey, yo, E. Mmm?
115
00:03:55,151 --> 00:03:56,026
Can I ask you a question, man?
116
00:03:56,318 --> 00:03:57,528
What's up?
117
00:03:57,820 --> 00:04:00,239
A little somethin' somethin'?
118
00:04:00,531 --> 00:04:01,407
Please do.
119
00:04:02,742 --> 00:04:04,410
What we be sayin'
when they ain't around?
120
00:04:06,954 --> 00:04:08,414
I said, I said...
121
00:04:08,706 --> 00:04:10,916
What we be
sayin' when they ain't around?
122
00:04:12,501 --> 00:04:13,711
White people be crazy?
123
00:04:14,003 --> 00:04:15,713
Yeah, they do!
124
00:04:18,299 --> 00:04:20,634
Aah! I knew you gon' know!
125
00:04:20,926 --> 00:04:22,136
They do be crazy, though!
126
00:04:22,428 --> 00:04:23,637
Some do.
Y'all do.
127
00:04:26,015 --> 00:04:26,766
Yeah, let's get you
a drink, my Elliot.
128
00:04:27,057 --> 00:04:28,100
All right, I'm with that.
Brooke!
129
00:04:28,392 --> 00:04:29,435
Little sis!
Hey!
130
00:04:29,727 --> 00:04:32,146
Oh, it's so good to see you.
131
00:04:32,438 --> 00:04:33,981
What'd you bring me?
What'd you bring me? Oh!
132
00:04:34,273 --> 00:04:36,150
Chinese rice candy.
You can eat the wrapper!
133
00:04:36,442 --> 00:04:38,527
Shut up!
Mmm-hmm.
134
00:04:38,819 --> 00:04:40,404
That'll save me so much time.
135
00:04:41,906 --> 00:04:43,324
I love you, sis.
I love you, too.
136
00:04:43,616 --> 00:04:44,909
- Yay!
- Hey, girl.
137
00:04:45,201 --> 00:04:46,744
Uh, hi, I'm Brooke Kerkovich.
138
00:04:47,036 --> 00:04:48,746
It's an...
139
00:04:49,038 --> 00:04:50,581
Hi. Okay.
Oh!
140
00:04:50,873 --> 00:04:52,583
Brooke, Penny Hartz!
141
00:04:52,875 --> 00:04:53,834
I slept over
at your house a lot.
142
00:04:55,711 --> 00:04:56,670
Oh, I wrote that paper
on you in seventh grade.
143
00:04:57,755 --> 00:04:58,923
Oh! You hit me
with your car,
144
00:04:59,215 --> 00:05:00,800
and I had to wear
a leg brace all summer.
145
00:05:01,091 --> 00:05:02,676
Oh, yes. That's right.
What leg was that again?
146
00:05:02,968 --> 00:05:04,512
The left.
147
00:05:04,804 --> 00:05:06,096
No. Sorry, I'm thinking
of someone else.
148
00:05:07,139 --> 00:05:08,891
Yeah, totally.
149
00:05:09,183 --> 00:05:09,975
Yeah, I was thinking
of someone else, too.
150
00:05:12,394 --> 00:05:14,104
So much blonde.
151
00:05:14,396 --> 00:05:15,189
Hold on.
Sit down.
152
00:05:17,358 --> 00:05:18,234
She's an odd one.
Yes.
153
00:05:18,526 --> 00:05:19,610
So have you talked to Dad?
154
00:05:19,902 --> 00:05:21,612
I can't believe
he threw his back out.
155
00:05:21,904 --> 00:05:23,197
He's immobilized. He's not
coming to the wedding.
156
00:05:23,489 --> 00:05:24,657
Should we postpone?
157
00:05:24,949 --> 00:05:26,784
Postpone? At this stage?
158
00:05:27,076 --> 00:05:27,993
Jane, is that a joke?
159
00:05:28,786 --> 00:05:30,955
Yep.
160
00:05:31,247 --> 00:05:33,374
So... How are
the rehearsal dinner plans?
161
00:05:33,666 --> 00:05:35,668
Perfect. Everything is done
to your specifications.
162
00:05:35,960 --> 00:05:37,002
Where's Mom sitting?
Away from the band,
163
00:05:37,294 --> 00:05:38,379
so she doesn't try to
join them for a song.
164
00:05:38,671 --> 00:05:39,839
Flowers?
Hypoallergenic.
165
00:05:40,130 --> 00:05:41,715
All tears should be caused
by the bride's glory.
166
00:05:42,007 --> 00:05:43,509
Kids' table?
There isn't one.
167
00:05:43,801 --> 00:05:46,011
Children should be seen and
not heard and also not seen.
168
00:05:47,137 --> 00:05:47,930
Good.
169
00:05:52,476 --> 00:05:53,185
Ah.
170
00:05:54,562 --> 00:05:55,729
Hi, Mom!
171
00:05:56,021 --> 00:05:57,898
Well. Hi, sweetie.
172
00:05:58,190 --> 00:06:00,192
Hey, Janie!
173
00:06:00,484 --> 00:06:02,319
Hey, Dad.
How you feeling?
174
00:06:02,611 --> 00:06:04,321
Amazing.
175
00:06:04,613 --> 00:06:07,491
Have you guys seen "Night at the
Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian"?
176
00:06:07,783 --> 00:06:10,661
Because it is a masterstroke.
177
00:06:10,953 --> 00:06:13,455
Your dad's on a lot
of fancy pills right now.
178
00:06:13,747 --> 00:06:15,499
He's really not himself.
179
00:06:15,791 --> 00:06:17,293
Hey, Barb, take me for a spin.
180
00:06:17,585 --> 00:06:19,712
Show me what the hell else
I'm paying for in this joint.
181
00:06:20,004 --> 00:06:21,380
Yep, he's still
pretty much himself.
182
00:06:21,672 --> 00:06:22,965
Yeah.
183
00:06:23,257 --> 00:06:24,675
Are there possibly
any other rooms available
184
00:06:24,967 --> 00:06:26,010
- for this weekend?
- Let me check.
185
00:06:26,302 --> 00:06:26,844
Why do you need another room?
186
00:06:27,136 --> 00:06:28,929
Oh. Uh...
187
00:06:29,221 --> 00:06:30,806
You know,
'cause Dave and I just...
188
00:06:31,098 --> 00:06:34,560
Have so much sex that we
need a cooldown room.
189
00:06:34,852 --> 00:06:36,645
Okay, nobody has that much sex.
190
00:06:36,937 --> 00:06:37,813
Who do you think you are,
the Fonz?
191
00:06:40,733 --> 00:06:42,943
Okay, fine. Dave and I
broke up last week.
192
00:06:43,235 --> 00:06:45,613
Oh, my God! I can't believe it!
Are you okay?
193
00:06:45,905 --> 00:06:47,948
Yeah. I think.
I don't know.
194
00:06:48,240 --> 00:06:51,118
Oh! Sweetie, I'm so sorry.
What happened?
195
00:06:51,410 --> 00:06:52,328
Well, we were talking about
Brooke's wedding
196
00:06:52,620 --> 00:06:53,412
and then we got locked
in our bedroom.
197
00:06:53,704 --> 00:06:55,497
Again?
It's a old building.
198
00:06:55,789 --> 00:06:58,417
The doors expand, the wood
separates, and we're idiots!
199
00:07:01,837 --> 00:07:03,339
I can't believe Brooke's
marrying this Elliot guy
200
00:07:03,631 --> 00:07:04,715
after only, like, a year.
201
00:07:05,007 --> 00:07:06,508
It's kind of fast, right?
202
00:07:06,800 --> 00:07:08,969
Well, they both dated a lot
of people before they met.
203
00:07:09,261 --> 00:07:10,346
So when they met each other,
they just knew.
204
00:07:10,638 --> 00:07:12,431
Like when I met the bloomin
onion, I just knew.
205
00:07:14,183 --> 00:07:15,559
Well, we never really dated
anybody else.
206
00:07:19,188 --> 00:07:20,814
I'll check the bathroom window.
207
00:07:21,106 --> 00:07:23,859
What...
What do you mean?
208
00:07:24,151 --> 00:07:26,987
I mean, we dated other people
during our break.
209
00:07:27,279 --> 00:07:29,406
Well, I didn't really date.
210
00:07:29,698 --> 00:07:32,326
I would call it a series of
mind-blowing sexual experiences
211
00:07:32,618 --> 00:07:35,162
with a lot of beautiful women.
What about you?
212
00:07:35,454 --> 00:07:36,622
Yeah, I had one guy, like,
feel me up.
213
00:07:36,914 --> 00:07:38,290
What? It's fine.
214
00:07:38,582 --> 00:07:40,709
Over or under the bra?
Whatever!
215
00:07:41,001 --> 00:07:44,171
Was he quick with the clasp?
Doesn't matter, David.
216
00:07:44,463 --> 00:07:46,090
I guess we didn't really
have a true break.
217
00:07:46,382 --> 00:07:47,633
We're basically each other's
rebound relationship.
218
00:07:50,344 --> 00:07:51,345
What are you saying?
219
00:07:51,637 --> 00:07:53,180
I don't know.
220
00:07:53,472 --> 00:07:55,224
I mean, Brooke and Elliot knew that
they were right for each other
221
00:07:55,516 --> 00:07:56,809
'cause they both had
other real relationships.
222
00:08:01,188 --> 00:08:02,314
This window's still jammed.
223
00:08:02,606 --> 00:08:03,440
Let's... Let's try
the bedroom door again.
224
00:08:03,732 --> 00:08:06,694
Oh, come on!
225
00:08:06,986 --> 00:08:07,945
See, Dave? This is why I
don't shut the bathroom door
226
00:08:08,237 --> 00:08:09,279
when I'm in here.
227
00:08:09,571 --> 00:08:11,323
Wow. I am floored.
228
00:08:11,615 --> 00:08:13,117
So...
Shh!
229
00:08:13,409 --> 00:08:14,118
Okay, Dave and I swore that
we wouldn't tell anyone
230
00:08:14,410 --> 00:08:14,994
until after the wedding.
231
00:08:15,285 --> 00:08:16,370
Hey!
232
00:08:16,662 --> 00:08:17,788
Hey!
233
00:08:19,206 --> 00:08:21,000
Hey... Back up a sec.
234
00:08:21,291 --> 00:08:22,710
This is huge.
235
00:08:23,002 --> 00:08:25,295
Alex just lets it rage
with the bathroom door open?
236
00:08:25,587 --> 00:08:27,172
Baller move!
237
00:08:27,464 --> 00:08:28,799
Max.
238
00:08:29,091 --> 00:08:30,551
Sorry. I guess
I just got used to
239
00:08:30,843 --> 00:08:31,885
you two dummies being
back together.
240
00:08:32,177 --> 00:08:34,680
You okay?
Yeah. I guess.
241
00:08:34,972 --> 00:08:36,932
In a way, it was kinda good.
242
00:08:37,224 --> 00:08:39,059
You know, being locked in
that room for a couple hours
243
00:08:39,351 --> 00:08:40,728
really forced us to finally
deal with our stuff.
244
00:08:43,439 --> 00:08:44,565
So are we really doing this?
245
00:08:44,857 --> 00:08:45,691
Yeah, I guess so.
246
00:08:46,942 --> 00:08:49,194
It sucks but it feels right.
247
00:08:49,486 --> 00:08:50,487
You don't regret getting
back together, do you?
248
00:08:50,779 --> 00:08:52,239
No. Of course not.
249
00:08:52,531 --> 00:08:53,907
Okay.
250
00:08:54,199 --> 00:08:55,701
I would've regretted
if we stayed together
251
00:08:55,993 --> 00:08:57,995
just because of momentum.
252
00:08:58,287 --> 00:08:59,371
Oh, then we'd be right back
where we started.
253
00:08:59,663 --> 00:09:01,457
I don't want to
go through that again.
254
00:09:01,749 --> 00:09:02,416
I don't even know
where I'd find a guy
255
00:09:02,708 --> 00:09:03,500
who wears rollerblades anymore.
256
00:09:04,460 --> 00:09:05,377
Too soon.
257
00:09:07,296 --> 00:09:07,921
Let's get out of here.
258
00:09:08,756 --> 00:09:09,757
Yep.
I mean really!
259
00:09:10,883 --> 00:09:12,468
Oh! What?
260
00:09:12,760 --> 00:09:15,179
Seriously? Come on!
261
00:09:15,471 --> 00:09:15,971
Why'd we close this door anyway?
262
00:09:16,263 --> 00:09:17,765
It felt right!
263
00:09:18,057 --> 00:09:19,058
You're right. It did.
264
00:09:23,812 --> 00:09:27,900
As promised, your perfect
rehearsal dinner.
265
00:09:28,192 --> 00:09:29,318
Is this seating chart laminated?
266
00:09:29,610 --> 00:09:32,321
Yep. I got my own machine.
No big.
267
00:09:32,613 --> 00:09:34,406
I did splurge
for the newest model.
268
00:09:34,698 --> 00:09:36,033
I'll stop bragging.
269
00:09:36,325 --> 00:09:38,702
Oh, yeah, I'm a card-carrying
member of the lami-nation.
270
00:09:38,994 --> 00:09:39,870
We even have
our own constitution,
271
00:09:40,162 --> 00:09:41,538
which can't we amend...
272
00:09:41,830 --> 00:09:43,082
'Cause it's laminated.
273
00:09:44,792 --> 00:09:46,293
Isn't laminating
just a bit... Tacky?
274
00:09:48,212 --> 00:09:50,506
W... w... what about
for spills and stuff?
275
00:09:50,798 --> 00:09:52,382
How about instead of
protecting it from spills,
276
00:09:52,674 --> 00:09:54,093
we just don't spill, right?
277
00:09:54,384 --> 00:09:55,469
Yeah. Yes.
278
00:09:57,387 --> 00:09:58,806
That's a good idea. You...
Good note, Brooke!
279
00:10:00,849 --> 00:10:02,601
Lamination, Jane?
280
00:10:02,893 --> 00:10:04,144
Why don't you just
cover it in glitter, you...
281
00:10:04,436 --> 00:10:05,104
Cheap whore?
282
00:10:07,189 --> 00:10:08,774
Hello, gay sir.
283
00:10:09,066 --> 00:10:11,318
Hello, Countess Vonboobs.
284
00:10:11,610 --> 00:10:13,612
I have a secret, but I
shan't be telling you.
285
00:10:13,904 --> 00:10:16,031
I have a secret as well,
286
00:10:16,323 --> 00:10:18,117
and it's a real doozie kurtz.
287
00:10:18,408 --> 00:10:19,952
My secret's so big, just
the tip will be enough.
288
00:10:20,244 --> 00:10:21,120
Yes, well, is your secret
bigger than the fact
289
00:10:21,411 --> 00:10:22,204
that Alex and Dave broke up?
290
00:10:22,496 --> 00:10:23,580
Damn it, Max!
Come on.
291
00:10:23,872 --> 00:10:25,082
That was my secret, too!
Damn it, Penny!
292
00:10:25,374 --> 00:10:26,542
Why do people tell us stuff?
293
00:10:26,834 --> 00:10:29,711
Did I hear you say that Alex
and Dave are breaking up?
294
00:10:30,003 --> 00:10:32,256
I'm sorry. I'm Alex's
second cousin Sherry.
295
00:10:32,548 --> 00:10:35,342
No, actually,
we did not say that.
296
00:10:35,634 --> 00:10:36,635
I think you might've
heard wrong.
297
00:10:36,927 --> 00:10:38,345
You see, Sherry...
298
00:10:38,637 --> 00:10:39,930
Alex and Dave are not
so much breaking up
299
00:10:40,222 --> 00:10:42,641
- as they are...
- Breaking Ground.
300
00:10:42,933 --> 00:10:44,309
Ground on an addition
on their home.
301
00:10:44,601 --> 00:10:46,603
Are they starting a family?
302
00:10:46,895 --> 00:10:48,188
Because I knew
that I heard someone
303
00:10:48,480 --> 00:10:50,149
talking about a pregnancy
in the bathroom.
304
00:10:50,440 --> 00:10:51,900
Sherry, I gotta tell ya...
305
00:10:52,192 --> 00:10:53,402
No. You're on the nose here.
306
00:10:53,694 --> 00:10:54,570
Detective work is great.
307
00:10:54,862 --> 00:10:55,988
Sherlock Sherry.
308
00:10:56,280 --> 00:10:58,157
They're pregnant.
Super preggers.
309
00:10:58,448 --> 00:10:59,950
Sperm has fertilized the egg.
310
00:11:00,242 --> 00:11:03,912
Right now, her uterus is
creating a nutrient-rich lining
311
00:11:04,204 --> 00:11:05,831
to house and protect
the young fetus.
312
00:11:07,249 --> 00:11:09,251
But do me a favor, Sher Bear?
313
00:11:09,543 --> 00:11:10,794
Why don't we just
keep this a secret
314
00:11:11,086 --> 00:11:11,712
between the three of us, huh?
315
00:11:14,089 --> 00:11:15,340
Great.
316
00:11:15,632 --> 00:11:17,384
Turn it and throw it away. Mmm.
317
00:11:17,676 --> 00:11:18,844
How could you
start a rumor like that?
318
00:11:19,136 --> 00:11:20,345
And how do you know
so much about uteruses?
319
00:11:20,637 --> 00:11:22,389
Uteri.
You're a woman.
320
00:11:22,681 --> 00:11:25,017
You should know which part of
the butt the baby comes from.
321
00:11:25,309 --> 00:11:27,686
And look, this secret
cannot get out.
322
00:11:27,978 --> 00:11:29,688
And right now, I'm feeling a
lot of heat in our direction.
323
00:11:29,980 --> 00:11:31,607
We need to deflect it.
Change the news cycle.
324
00:11:31,899 --> 00:11:32,900
I was sniff in'
what you were whiff in'.
325
00:11:33,192 --> 00:11:33,775
Penny, don't.
326
00:11:38,488 --> 00:11:41,200
Look at him.
Elliot's got it so easy...
327
00:11:41,491 --> 00:11:42,743
Because of all the work I did.
328
00:11:43,035 --> 00:11:44,411
I put up with
all their weird questions
329
00:11:44,703 --> 00:11:46,496
and made them feel comfortable
around a black guy.
330
00:11:46,788 --> 00:11:48,665
Oh, my God.
331
00:11:48,957 --> 00:11:51,001
I'm the Jackie Robinson
of the Kerkovich family.
332
00:11:51,293 --> 00:11:52,127
Sure. That's not
a leap at all.
333
00:11:52,419 --> 00:11:54,713
I broke down barriers, okay?
334
00:11:55,005 --> 00:11:57,299
And Elliot should have
to go through what I did.
335
00:11:57,591 --> 00:12:00,177
Actually, the true legacy
of Jackie Robinson
336
00:12:00,469 --> 00:12:02,721
is that Elliot shouldn't have
to go through what you did.
337
00:12:03,013 --> 00:12:04,723
I believe it was Medgar
Evers who once said...
338
00:12:05,015 --> 00:12:06,475
Dude, we get it. You
minored in black history.
339
00:12:06,767 --> 00:12:08,769
Afro-American Studies.
340
00:12:09,061 --> 00:12:11,021
And I am offended by your
use of the term "minor."
341
00:12:11,313 --> 00:12:12,856
Now is not the time, man!
342
00:12:20,364 --> 00:12:21,406
All right,
Dr. Berg,
343
00:12:21,698 --> 00:12:24,409
I know you delivered
every child in this family,
344
00:12:24,701 --> 00:12:25,827
but you're in the wrong seat.
345
00:12:26,119 --> 00:12:27,579
So I'm gonna need you
to make like George Clinton
346
00:12:27,871 --> 00:12:28,747
and get the funk outta here.
347
00:12:29,039 --> 00:12:29,873
Jane.
348
00:12:30,165 --> 00:12:31,291
Yeah?
349
00:12:31,583 --> 00:12:33,543
Why are you freaking out on Dr.
B.?
350
00:12:33,835 --> 00:12:35,087
Because I put everyone
in the wrong place
351
00:12:35,379 --> 00:12:36,922
because the seating chart
is ruined.
352
00:12:37,214 --> 00:12:38,298
What?
I had to unlaminate it,
353
00:12:38,590 --> 00:12:39,508
and then I got
those weird sweats
354
00:12:39,800 --> 00:12:41,510
that I only get
when Brooke's around.
355
00:12:41,802 --> 00:12:44,012
Well, that explains why
Mom ended up by the band.
356
00:12:44,304 --> 00:12:46,181
♪ Oh, when the saints
Keep me out of this.
357
00:12:46,473 --> 00:12:48,433
♪ Go marching in
Not happening.
358
00:12:48,725 --> 00:12:51,395
♪ Oh, when the saints
go marching... No.
359
00:12:53,563 --> 00:12:56,400
♪ I wanna be there
in that number
360
00:12:56,692 --> 00:12:59,569
♪ When the saints
go marching in ♪
361
00:12:59,861 --> 00:13:00,821
Hallelujah!
362
00:13:01,113 --> 00:13:02,531
So...
363
00:13:02,823 --> 00:13:04,950
The seating is a complete mess,
364
00:13:05,242 --> 00:13:07,077
and I'm pretty sure that woman
doesn't even belong here.
365
00:13:07,369 --> 00:13:08,620
You bought me my first maxi pad.
366
00:13:08,912 --> 00:13:10,539
Aw!
367
00:13:10,831 --> 00:13:11,832
Jane, it's very clear to me
368
00:13:12,124 --> 00:13:13,292
that the pressure
is getting to you,
369
00:13:13,583 --> 00:13:15,294
and I think we need
to give you a simpler task.
370
00:13:16,628 --> 00:13:18,797
Let go.
Let go.
371
00:13:19,089 --> 00:13:20,841
Instead of
helping me get ready tomorrow,
372
00:13:21,133 --> 00:13:22,175
I think it would be better
if you handed out programs.
373
00:13:23,802 --> 00:13:24,970
And you...
Yeah?
374
00:13:25,262 --> 00:13:26,596
...are doing a wonderful job.
Oh!
375
00:13:26,888 --> 00:13:27,639
Thank you. Mmm-hmm.
376
00:13:29,516 --> 00:13:30,600
Yeah, that's a good plan.
377
00:13:32,728 --> 00:13:33,895
Aw, I'm sorry.
Are you okay?
378
00:13:34,187 --> 00:13:35,355
I'm good.
Okay.
379
00:13:35,647 --> 00:13:36,690
I'm really good.
Yeah. I gotta...
380
00:13:36,982 --> 00:13:37,733
Actually, I gotta check on...
Okay.
381
00:13:38,025 --> 00:13:38,942
The thing in the...
382
00:13:41,611 --> 00:13:42,362
Okay, big boy, let's go.
383
00:13:42,654 --> 00:13:43,488
Let's go.
384
00:13:43,780 --> 00:13:45,407
Are you serious?
385
00:13:45,699 --> 00:13:46,658
Elliot knows Blair Underwood?
386
00:13:46,950 --> 00:13:48,368
Oh, yeah.
Wow.
387
00:13:48,660 --> 00:13:50,078
And he loves it when people
ask him about it. Oh!
388
00:13:50,370 --> 00:13:51,580
Here he comes.
389
00:13:51,872 --> 00:13:53,540
Hey, Elliot. You know
Blair Underwood?
390
00:13:53,832 --> 00:13:54,374
What? What?
391
00:13:54,666 --> 00:13:55,751
Oh!
392
00:13:56,043 --> 00:13:58,086
What? What? He... Ah!
393
00:13:58,378 --> 00:13:59,671
Oh, my gosh.
394
00:13:59,963 --> 00:14:01,006
Like all black
people are just supposed to know
395
00:14:01,298 --> 00:14:02,299
Blair Underwood, huh?
396
00:14:02,591 --> 00:14:04,676
Uh... Actually,
I do know Blair.
397
00:14:04,968 --> 00:14:07,721
He's a great guy. He's a spokesman
for a charity I work with.
398
00:14:08,013 --> 00:14:10,724
Wow! That is very
impressive, Elliot.
399
00:14:11,016 --> 00:14:12,059
The stories you must have, huh?
400
00:14:12,351 --> 00:14:13,143
What? No!
401
00:14:14,936 --> 00:14:15,812
The stories are stupid!
402
00:14:16,104 --> 00:14:16,605
I'm impressive!
403
00:14:17,814 --> 00:14:19,107
I'm Jackie Robinson!
404
00:14:21,443 --> 00:14:22,903
Mmm...
405
00:14:23,195 --> 00:14:25,572
So, Alex...
Drinking, huh?
406
00:14:25,864 --> 00:14:27,115
In your condition?
Isn't that...
407
00:14:27,407 --> 00:14:29,034
Uh, acceptable
in Europe? Yes.
408
00:14:29,326 --> 00:14:30,786
How very French of you, Alex.
409
00:14:31,078 --> 00:14:32,412
I guess it is.
410
00:14:32,704 --> 00:14:35,332
Ooh, la la! Pepe Le Pew!
French Stewart!
411
00:14:35,624 --> 00:14:37,125
And, Alex,
how are your cravings?
412
00:14:37,417 --> 00:14:38,710
Insane.
Totally insane.
413
00:14:39,920 --> 00:14:40,462
Thank you for asking.
414
00:14:42,798 --> 00:14:45,342
Um, this rarely happens.
415
00:14:45,634 --> 00:14:47,594
I feel like
I'm missing something.
416
00:14:47,886 --> 00:14:49,971
Like that time that everybody
turned on linen pants
417
00:14:50,263 --> 00:14:51,056
all of a sudden. No. No. No.
418
00:14:51,932 --> 00:14:54,184
No, I don't, uh...
419
00:14:54,476 --> 00:14:55,310
Okay, what are we gonna do?
420
00:14:55,602 --> 00:14:56,353
We need to change
the news cycle again.
421
00:14:58,605 --> 00:14:59,523
I have an idea.
422
00:15:00,649 --> 00:15:01,691
Hey! Hey!
Hmm?
423
00:15:01,983 --> 00:15:03,443
Scuttle your butt
on over here, Sher.
424
00:15:03,735 --> 00:15:05,362
I got some grade-A goss,
425
00:15:05,654 --> 00:15:07,864
but you have it keep it a secret.
Okay?
426
00:15:08,156 --> 00:15:10,283
Jane and Brad are on the rocks.
427
00:15:10,575 --> 00:15:11,576
You tastin' what I'm wastin'?
428
00:15:11,868 --> 00:15:12,619
Pen, come on.
Just...
429
00:15:12,911 --> 00:15:13,954
Just don't tell anybody.
430
00:15:14,246 --> 00:15:15,372
Oh! Your secret's
safe with me.
431
00:15:18,458 --> 00:15:19,584
This better work, Max.
432
00:15:19,876 --> 00:15:21,211
Give it time.
Give it time.
433
00:15:36,184 --> 00:15:37,727
So this is hush-hush,
434
00:15:38,019 --> 00:15:39,354
but Brad and Jane are divorcing
435
00:15:39,646 --> 00:15:40,647
because Brad has a love child.
436
00:15:42,441 --> 00:15:43,984
Wow.
That was fast.
437
00:15:44,276 --> 00:15:45,110
They really took it and ran.
438
00:15:45,402 --> 00:15:46,111
Yeah, but you know what I liked?
439
00:15:46,403 --> 00:15:47,320
They really made it their own.
440
00:15:51,616 --> 00:15:52,534
Hello.
441
00:15:54,744 --> 00:15:57,038
Do not fold that!
It's not garbage.
442
00:15:57,330 --> 00:15:58,915
It's a guide
to your magical afternoon.
443
00:15:59,207 --> 00:16:01,042
Hey, um, so Brooke heard
444
00:16:01,334 --> 00:16:02,836
that you were making
people feel uncomfortable.
445
00:16:03,128 --> 00:16:04,129
So she thought it'd be better
446
00:16:04,421 --> 00:16:05,589
if you just let the
podium do your job.
447
00:16:07,382 --> 00:16:08,884
Sorry, Jane. I just...
448
00:16:09,176 --> 00:16:10,302
I lucked out that, you know,
449
00:16:10,594 --> 00:16:11,761
I was born for this
whole flower girl gig.
450
00:16:15,891 --> 00:16:19,144
It's not at all how or when
you're supposed to do that.
451
00:16:19,436 --> 00:16:20,979
Brooke, Elliot,
we've reached the big moment.
452
00:16:23,773 --> 00:16:25,609
Elliot, do you take Brooke to
be your lawfully wedded wife?
453
00:16:28,570 --> 00:16:29,905
I do.
454
00:16:30,197 --> 00:16:31,615
No, no, no, no.
455
00:16:31,907 --> 00:16:33,742
And you, Brooke, take Elliot
to be your lawfully wedded husband?
456
00:16:34,034 --> 00:16:35,243
No!
457
00:16:35,535 --> 00:16:36,995
What?
No, no, not them.
458
00:16:37,287 --> 00:16:37,913
There is a fire, and...
459
00:16:39,247 --> 00:16:41,208
Programs are on fire.
460
00:16:41,500 --> 00:16:44,002
Everyone stay here. I'm a
volunteer firefighter.
461
00:16:44,294 --> 00:16:45,670
I'm a volunteer firefighter.
462
00:16:45,962 --> 00:16:47,047
Keep reading
us your resume, dude.
463
00:16:49,007 --> 00:16:50,509
Dave, get Alex out of here.
464
00:16:50,800 --> 00:16:52,427
The fumes are bad for the baby.
465
00:16:52,719 --> 00:16:54,888
Hey! I know I'm the
baby of the family,
466
00:16:55,180 --> 00:16:56,681
but I'm a big girl! If I can
get through a corn maze,
467
00:16:56,973 --> 00:16:57,974
I can get out of here.
468
00:16:58,266 --> 00:16:59,684
No, the baby you're having.
469
00:16:59,976 --> 00:17:01,645
What?
470
00:17:01,937 --> 00:17:03,897
No, it's Brad and Jane
that are having the baby.
471
00:17:04,189 --> 00:17:05,440
What?
472
00:17:05,732 --> 00:17:07,234
No! It's a love child that
Brad has with some floozy.
473
00:17:07,526 --> 00:17:08,235
That's why they're
getting divorced.
474
00:17:08,527 --> 00:17:09,903
What?
475
00:17:10,195 --> 00:17:11,696
I'm not having a love child!
476
00:17:11,988 --> 00:17:12,531
Well, then who's breaking up?
477
00:17:13,406 --> 00:17:14,366
Dave and I are.
478
00:17:14,658 --> 00:17:15,325
What?
479
00:17:15,617 --> 00:17:16,785
I know. I...
480
00:17:17,077 --> 00:17:18,870
We should've told
all of you sooner, but...
481
00:17:19,162 --> 00:17:20,622
I have no idea where these
other stories came from.
482
00:17:20,914 --> 00:17:21,957
Max and Penny told us.
483
00:17:22,249 --> 00:17:23,208
Ah.
484
00:17:23,500 --> 00:17:24,751
Okay, well...
Right.
485
00:17:25,043 --> 00:17:26,836
Look, I'm sorry. I had to
change the news cycle,
486
00:17:27,128 --> 00:17:28,505
like how I told
everyone Penny was 53.
487
00:17:31,007 --> 00:17:33,510
Oh, come on!
No gasps on that?
488
00:17:33,802 --> 00:17:34,803
Well, then who did I overhear
489
00:17:35,095 --> 00:17:36,513
talking about a baby
in the bathroom?
490
00:17:36,805 --> 00:17:38,181
I know it's a Kerkovich girl.
491
00:17:38,473 --> 00:17:39,933
It wasn't me.
It was not me.
492
00:17:40,225 --> 00:17:41,476
It's me. All right?
493
00:17:41,768 --> 00:17:42,394
I'm pregnant.
494
00:17:48,316 --> 00:17:49,067
Ah!
495
00:17:51,319 --> 00:17:53,280
Brooke, the ceremony was lovely!
496
00:17:54,281 --> 00:17:55,407
Who are you?
497
00:18:08,253 --> 00:18:09,629
How you holding up?
498
00:18:09,921 --> 00:18:10,922
Well, my shotgun
wedding got soaked.
499
00:18:11,756 --> 00:18:12,882
Yeah.
500
00:18:14,551 --> 00:18:16,177
Look, I know you think
I'm perfect,
501
00:18:16,469 --> 00:18:17,429
but I'm actually not.
502
00:18:18,305 --> 00:18:19,389
You happy?
No.
503
00:18:20,557 --> 00:18:21,766
Yes. Very much.
504
00:18:23,935 --> 00:18:24,769
I know I've always been
a little bit hard on you,
505
00:18:26,688 --> 00:18:28,231
but it's because I knew
how much potential you had.
506
00:18:29,274 --> 00:18:31,067
I knew you could be great.
507
00:18:31,359 --> 00:18:32,652
Maybe even better than me.
508
00:18:34,446 --> 00:18:35,405
That's why I had to destroy you.
509
00:18:37,657 --> 00:18:39,242
That is the nicest thing
510
00:18:39,534 --> 00:18:41,786
you have ever said to me.
511
00:18:42,078 --> 00:18:43,747
Well, you deserve it. Hmm.
512
00:18:44,039 --> 00:18:46,249
Plus, you only sort
of ruined my wedding.
513
00:18:46,541 --> 00:18:47,959
Max and Penny really ruined it.
514
00:18:48,251 --> 00:18:50,337
She remembered me!
515
00:18:50,629 --> 00:18:51,546
Oh!
516
00:18:56,593 --> 00:18:58,136
Again, I'm so happy for you.
517
00:18:59,262 --> 00:19:00,347
Hey, yo, E.
518
00:19:00,639 --> 00:19:01,765
Hey, man. Um...
519
00:19:02,057 --> 00:19:03,391
Listen...
520
00:19:03,683 --> 00:19:05,101
I just wanna let you know that
521
00:19:05,393 --> 00:19:06,728
I'm really happy
to have you in the family.
522
00:19:07,020 --> 00:19:08,355
Oh, thanks.
523
00:19:08,647 --> 00:19:09,856
And look, I know
you being here first
524
00:19:10,148 --> 00:19:11,358
did make it easier for me.
525
00:19:11,650 --> 00:19:14,110
Well... Although, now
that you've knocked up
526
00:19:14,402 --> 00:19:15,904
a Kerkovich daughter
out of wedlock...
527
00:19:16,196 --> 00:19:17,030
You're
gonna have it plenty rough.
528
00:19:17,322 --> 00:19:17,781
Yeah. So I'm here for you, man.
529
00:19:19,491 --> 00:19:20,700
Brother-in-law.
Brother-in-law.
530
00:19:20,992 --> 00:19:21,534
Elliot, we need to talk.
531
00:19:21,826 --> 00:19:22,535
Oh!
532
00:19:23,870 --> 00:19:25,121
You're in trouble!
533
00:19:27,290 --> 00:19:28,249
Do it, girl.
534
00:19:28,541 --> 00:19:29,668
Congratulations, Elliot.
535
00:19:29,959 --> 00:19:31,169
Our first grandchild.
536
00:19:31,461 --> 00:19:33,254
Barb and I are thrilled!
537
00:19:33,546 --> 00:19:35,757
It sure is taking
Brad long enough.
538
00:19:36,049 --> 00:19:38,593
It makes you wonder what's
wrong with his stuff.
539
00:19:38,885 --> 00:19:40,178
My stuff is fine!
540
00:19:40,470 --> 00:19:41,471
Don't worry about my stuff!
541
00:19:41,763 --> 00:19:42,555
I'm sure his stuff if okay.
542
00:19:42,847 --> 00:19:43,431
It's excellent!
543
00:19:44,974 --> 00:19:46,643
Aw, yeah!
544
00:19:46,935 --> 00:19:48,728
This one goes out
to the baby mamas,
545
00:19:49,020 --> 00:19:50,939
the not baby mamas, the
couples, the fake couples,
546
00:19:51,231 --> 00:19:53,191
the brothers, the sisters,
547
00:19:53,483 --> 00:19:55,777
and one handsome genius that
took a single loving peen pic
548
00:19:56,069 --> 00:19:58,488
with every disposable
camera in this room.
549
00:19:58,780 --> 00:20:00,031
Congratulations,
Brooke and Elliot!
550
00:20:01,908 --> 00:20:03,702
So apparently
551
00:20:03,993 --> 00:20:06,955
you're having a love
child with some tramp.
552
00:20:07,247 --> 00:20:09,207
Boo, the only tramp I'm ever
gonna put a love child in
553
00:20:09,499 --> 00:20:10,417
is you.
Aw!
554
00:20:12,377 --> 00:20:14,713
That is gonna be so fun.
555
00:20:16,798 --> 00:20:17,966
As long as it's better
than Brooke and Elliot's.
556
00:20:18,258 --> 00:20:19,134
Yes.
Yeah.
557
00:20:19,426 --> 00:20:21,052
Mmm-hmm!
558
00:20:21,344 --> 00:20:23,221
♪ I can go
where life takes me...
559
00:20:23,513 --> 00:20:24,180
How ya doin'?
560
00:20:25,140 --> 00:20:25,807
I'm good.
561
00:20:27,142 --> 00:20:29,060
♪ For once I can say...
562
00:20:29,352 --> 00:20:31,813
Hey, you know, we're
officially on the market now.
563
00:20:32,105 --> 00:20:32,897
How about I find you
a dance partner?
564
00:20:34,691 --> 00:20:36,151
Her?
Ooh.
565
00:20:36,443 --> 00:20:37,402
No?
566
00:20:39,279 --> 00:20:41,072
Or her. She has
clearly got grind...
567
00:20:41,364 --> 00:20:42,198
...on the mind.
568
00:20:43,825 --> 00:20:45,076
You know what?
569
00:20:45,368 --> 00:20:47,412
I think tonight,
570
00:20:47,704 --> 00:20:48,288
I just wanna dance
with my friend.
571
00:20:50,373 --> 00:20:51,791
Yeah, I'd like that.
572
00:20:52,083 --> 00:20:54,002
♪ Not like it's hurt before
573
00:20:54,294 --> 00:20:57,881
♪ For once I have something
I know won't desert me
574
00:20:58,965 --> 00:21:00,633
♪ I'm not alone anymore
575
00:21:02,886 --> 00:21:07,599
♪ For once I can say, "This
is mine, you can't take it"
576
00:21:07,891 --> 00:21:11,436
♪ As long I know I have love,
I can make it ♪
577
00:21:11,728 --> 00:21:13,563
♪ For once in my life
578
00:21:13,855 --> 00:21:16,191
♪ I have someone
who needs me
579
00:21:16,483 --> 00:21:18,651
♪ Someone who needs me
580
00:21:18,943 --> 00:21:20,987
♪ Ah, ha ha, hey, yeah
581
00:21:21,279 --> 00:21:23,072
♪ Someone who needs me
582
00:21:23,364 --> 00:21:24,699
♪ Oh, love, baby ♪
40930
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