All language subtitles for Happy.Endings.S03E06.1080p.BluRay.x264-YELLOWBiRD

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,334 --> 00:00:03,628 Okay, does everybody know what they're supposed to do? 2 00:00:05,963 --> 00:00:07,882 Hell, no. Okay, sixth time's the charm. 3 00:00:08,174 --> 00:00:10,384 Alex, I bought Max a lotto ticket 4 00:00:10,676 --> 00:00:12,595 with last week's winning numbers. 5 00:00:12,887 --> 00:00:15,640 Right. I also DVR'd last week's numbers announcement. 6 00:00:15,932 --> 00:00:17,350 Following. So when we play Max the clip, 7 00:00:17,642 --> 00:00:19,143 he'll think he won and flip out. 8 00:00:19,435 --> 00:00:20,561 It's the perfect prank. You got it? 9 00:00:20,853 --> 00:00:22,605 Yeah. Sure, buddy, I got it. 10 00:00:22,897 --> 00:00:24,982 Max is gonna win the lottery last week. Pass it on. 11 00:00:25,274 --> 00:00:27,693 Are you sure Max isn't gonna freak out? This sounds a little mean. 12 00:00:27,985 --> 00:00:29,820 Aw! Isn't he adorable? 13 00:00:30,112 --> 00:00:31,405 You're my little... And this is a working nickname, 14 00:00:31,697 --> 00:00:33,699 sweet hunk-a-Pete-meat. Yay. 15 00:00:33,991 --> 00:00:37,328 Ugh. We get it. Ya like each other. 16 00:00:37,620 --> 00:00:39,497 Pete, you son of a bitch, you're as innocent as you are stunning. 17 00:00:39,789 --> 00:00:41,499 Max deserves this. He pranks us all the time. 18 00:00:41,791 --> 00:00:43,000 He got me just yesterday. 19 00:00:43,292 --> 00:00:44,669 Here you go, bud. 20 00:00:46,462 --> 00:00:48,047 This fiier said you got a "gun 4 subs" campaign, pimp. 21 00:00:50,800 --> 00:00:53,135 Hook a homie up with one of them frozen fudge sticks. 22 00:00:53,427 --> 00:00:55,054 But we don't have ice cream. 23 00:00:55,346 --> 00:00:56,389 If you're looking for a way to unload that heat, 24 00:00:56,681 --> 00:00:59,141 I got a guy. No questions. 25 00:00:59,433 --> 00:01:01,519 'Tis true. Max hath scammed us all. 26 00:01:01,811 --> 00:01:03,104 Remember when he buttered my yoga mat? 27 00:01:03,396 --> 00:01:04,814 And my welcome mat? And my neighbor Matt? 28 00:01:05,106 --> 00:01:06,524 Or when he hacked my ancestry account 29 00:01:06,816 --> 00:01:08,734 and convinced me that I was the third Williams sister. 30 00:01:09,026 --> 00:01:10,820 Mmm-hmm. Or when he decimated our 401. 31 00:01:11,112 --> 00:01:12,071 Oh, that's him! Places, people! Places! 32 00:01:12,363 --> 00:01:13,406 Energy! Energy! 33 00:01:15,866 --> 00:01:18,578 Owning an unlicensed limousine sucks. 34 00:01:18,869 --> 00:01:20,580 I'm losing fares 'cause I got a giant hole in the floor. 35 00:01:20,871 --> 00:01:22,415 It's like The Flintstones. 36 00:01:22,707 --> 00:01:24,417 But do not try to put your feet through and run. 37 00:01:24,709 --> 00:01:26,294 It will rip most of the skin off. 38 00:01:26,586 --> 00:01:28,588 Don't sweat it. I know what'll make your day better. 39 00:01:28,879 --> 00:01:31,424 I bought us all Illinois Millions lotto tickets. 40 00:01:31,716 --> 00:01:33,968 We're about to watch the results on TV. 41 00:01:34,260 --> 00:01:35,928 Why don't we just check the results online, Grandpa? 42 00:01:36,220 --> 00:01:37,722 Good point, Max. Let's do that. 43 00:01:38,014 --> 00:01:39,974 Never mind. This way is more fun. 44 00:01:40,266 --> 00:01:41,434 And now, tonight's winning numbers are... 45 00:01:43,144 --> 00:01:44,979 Twenty-four. Yeah, I'm out. 46 00:01:45,271 --> 00:01:46,731 Ten. Daddy's done. 47 00:01:47,023 --> 00:01:48,399 Mmm-hmm. Thirty-five. 48 00:01:48,691 --> 00:01:51,319 Twenty-seven. Fifty-three. 49 00:01:51,611 --> 00:01:52,653 Oh, my God. And the final Illinois Millions 50 00:01:52,945 --> 00:01:54,030 jackpot number is... 51 00:01:54,655 --> 00:01:55,865 One. 52 00:01:56,157 --> 00:01:57,491 Oh, my God. What? 53 00:01:57,783 --> 00:01:58,701 What's up, Max? Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 54 00:01:58,993 --> 00:01:59,619 Huh? What are you so excited about? 55 00:01:59,910 --> 00:02:00,745 I won. What? 56 00:02:01,037 --> 00:02:03,080 I won! 57 00:02:03,372 --> 00:02:04,457 No way! No! 58 00:02:04,749 --> 00:02:06,500 I'm rich! 59 00:02:07,877 --> 00:02:09,879 Whoo! I'm no longer the poor one! 60 00:02:10,171 --> 00:02:12,381 I'm not sharing this with any of you! 61 00:02:12,673 --> 00:02:15,176 You're all dead to me! 62 00:02:27,021 --> 00:02:28,230 Get your poor hands off me! 63 00:02:28,522 --> 00:02:29,690 I am out of here! 64 00:02:30,608 --> 00:02:31,817 Max, stop! 65 00:02:33,194 --> 00:02:34,278 You didn't win. 66 00:02:35,446 --> 00:02:37,448 What? 67 00:02:37,740 --> 00:02:40,660 We pranked you. Those were last week's numbers. 68 00:02:40,951 --> 00:02:42,495 Funny bit though, right? 69 00:02:44,080 --> 00:02:45,039 Funny bit. 70 00:02:46,624 --> 00:02:48,918 Hi, buddy. Surprise. 71 00:02:49,210 --> 00:02:49,752 You were so passionate. 72 00:02:51,170 --> 00:02:53,798 Read my lips. 73 00:02:55,257 --> 00:02:57,385 I am going to get revenge 74 00:02:57,677 --> 00:02:59,637 on every last one of you. 75 00:03:01,514 --> 00:03:04,392 And no one will be able to escape the wrath 76 00:03:04,684 --> 00:03:06,185 - of Max Broom. - What? 77 00:03:06,477 --> 00:03:08,437 Damn it. Max Blum. 78 00:03:08,729 --> 00:03:10,439 How'd I mess up my own name? 79 00:03:10,731 --> 00:03:12,483 It's your fault, and now I'm embarrassed, 80 00:03:12,775 --> 00:03:14,318 and I will revenge on all of you even harder! 81 00:03:19,365 --> 00:03:20,157 Did we mess up? 82 00:03:31,252 --> 00:03:32,962 And that is why I keep two separate journals, 83 00:03:33,254 --> 00:03:35,131 one for waking Dave and one for dreaming Dave. 84 00:03:35,423 --> 00:03:37,675 You see, REM sleep... 85 00:03:37,967 --> 00:03:40,553 Max, don't hurt me! Ow! Ow! What did I tell you about screaming like that? 86 00:03:40,845 --> 00:03:43,139 I know. Do it underwater. 87 00:03:43,431 --> 00:03:44,849 I'm sorry, Pen, but Pete was right. 88 00:03:45,141 --> 00:03:46,559 Our prank was too mean. 89 00:03:46,851 --> 00:03:48,519 Max is gonna get us, and I'm flipping out. 90 00:03:48,811 --> 00:03:51,313 You should be flippin' out. That's right. 91 00:03:51,605 --> 00:03:53,774 Max put stripper glitter in my two favorite things, 92 00:03:54,066 --> 00:03:55,818 my lotions and my creams. 93 00:03:56,110 --> 00:03:59,029 That's why we're late. We figured, why not take advantage of the situation? 94 00:03:59,321 --> 00:04:01,866 Bring the guns out. Bring the guns out. 95 00:04:05,161 --> 00:04:07,621 Actually, I'm glad my prank's out of the way, 96 00:04:07,913 --> 00:04:09,290 because someone's gonna clean themself up 97 00:04:09,582 --> 00:04:11,250 and go on some job interviews. 98 00:04:11,542 --> 00:04:14,253 Yep. My sabbradical is officially over 99 00:04:14,545 --> 00:04:16,756 and I'm ready to jump back into the world of high finance. 100 00:04:17,047 --> 00:04:19,300 Call me Melanie Griffith, 'cause I'm gonna be working, girl. 101 00:04:19,592 --> 00:04:20,760 Awesome! Yay! 102 00:04:21,051 --> 00:04:22,136 Love that movie. 103 00:04:22,428 --> 00:04:23,763 Brad, I hope you get this job 104 00:04:24,054 --> 00:04:26,766 because we need to have a distraction from Max's revenge spree. 105 00:04:27,057 --> 00:04:28,559 Well, this little piggy, for one, is not worried 106 00:04:28,851 --> 00:04:31,771 because I am gonna stay one step ahead of him. 107 00:04:32,062 --> 00:04:32,730 Are you not eating that? Nope. 108 00:04:33,898 --> 00:04:37,318 Don't mind if I do. 109 00:04:37,610 --> 00:04:38,486 No! 110 00:04:41,030 --> 00:04:43,699 Two down, three to go. 111 00:04:43,991 --> 00:04:45,951 The wrath of Mark Blum conti... 112 00:04:46,243 --> 00:04:47,411 Damn it. Max Blum. 113 00:04:49,121 --> 00:04:50,414 Why can't I get my name right? 114 00:04:52,625 --> 00:04:53,709 And that is why my addiction to working late 115 00:04:54,001 --> 00:04:56,629 is a strength, not a weakness. 116 00:04:56,921 --> 00:04:59,256 So, do I fill out my W-2 now or five minutes ago? 117 00:05:05,471 --> 00:05:07,890 Good-looking family you got there. Handsome son. 118 00:05:08,182 --> 00:05:10,017 That's my daughter, Stephanie. 119 00:05:10,309 --> 00:05:11,435 Well, she sure knows her way around a chainsaw. 120 00:05:13,229 --> 00:05:15,272 Lovely wife, by the way. That's my brother. 121 00:05:15,564 --> 00:05:16,273 Dog? Baby. 122 00:05:18,442 --> 00:05:19,610 Did I mention I'm black? 123 00:05:19,902 --> 00:05:21,195 Several times. 124 00:05:21,487 --> 00:05:23,197 Affirmative... 125 00:05:23,489 --> 00:05:24,365 Action? 126 00:05:27,743 --> 00:05:29,620 Darn it! 127 00:05:29,912 --> 00:05:31,121 Why don't you let me do that? You're shaking like 128 00:05:31,413 --> 00:05:33,541 the gals that used to watch me at swim practice. 129 00:05:33,833 --> 00:05:36,043 That's a lie. Are you all right? No! 130 00:05:36,335 --> 00:05:37,503 I haven't slept a wink! 131 00:05:37,795 --> 00:05:39,630 I've picked up and quit smoking four times, 132 00:05:39,922 --> 00:05:41,215 and I'm drinking way too much Rockstar for someone my height. 133 00:05:44,176 --> 00:05:46,262 Yum alert! What is that? 134 00:05:46,554 --> 00:05:48,472 Oh, it's from the landlord. 135 00:05:48,764 --> 00:05:50,850 "Happy Muffin Month." He remembered. 136 00:05:51,141 --> 00:05:52,309 That is so sweet. You know, my landlord... 137 00:05:52,601 --> 00:05:55,187 Wait! Wait! Do not touch those muffins! 138 00:05:55,479 --> 00:05:57,273 Max, you tricky son of a bitch! 139 00:05:57,565 --> 00:05:58,649 What? No. 140 00:06:05,114 --> 00:06:07,283 Oh, my God! I should've known! 141 00:06:07,575 --> 00:06:08,784 Muffin Month isn't until May. 142 00:06:09,076 --> 00:06:10,119 And it isn't real! 143 00:06:10,411 --> 00:06:11,871 Foiled again, Maximilian. 144 00:06:12,162 --> 00:06:14,373 What a sicko! 145 00:06:14,665 --> 00:06:16,667 You guys realize that we are just prawns in his game? 146 00:06:16,959 --> 00:06:19,086 Little shrimp swimming around, 147 00:06:19,378 --> 00:06:21,964 waiting to be eaten by a big shark named Max! 148 00:06:22,256 --> 00:06:23,507 Wait. Some of the muffins still look good. 149 00:06:23,799 --> 00:06:24,800 Okay! No! No! 150 00:06:25,551 --> 00:06:26,427 No! 151 00:06:28,929 --> 00:06:29,847 Hey. 152 00:06:31,098 --> 00:06:32,224 I'm feelin' low. 153 00:06:32,516 --> 00:06:33,893 Real low. 154 00:06:34,184 --> 00:06:36,937 Aw. What happened, boo? 155 00:06:37,229 --> 00:06:39,231 All my interviews today were ding dong dang disasters. 156 00:06:40,941 --> 00:06:43,319 I've been out of the game too long. I'm rusty. 157 00:06:43,611 --> 00:06:45,195 Oh. It couldn't have been that bad. 158 00:06:45,487 --> 00:06:47,531 Yeah, well, I mistook the first guy's baby for a dog. 159 00:06:47,823 --> 00:06:49,366 Okay. 160 00:06:49,658 --> 00:06:52,494 Other Highlights: I forcibly tried on a guy's shoe, 161 00:06:52,786 --> 00:06:54,997 showed a lady my stomach, and then peed on a guy. 162 00:06:55,289 --> 00:06:56,916 Granted, it was at the urinal after the interview, 163 00:06:57,207 --> 00:07:00,044 but still, It was penis water. 164 00:07:00,336 --> 00:07:02,338 You tinkled on his tennies? Mmm-hmm. 165 00:07:02,630 --> 00:07:04,340 Doesn't sound like you. I know. 166 00:07:04,632 --> 00:07:05,883 And those were the only open finance gigs in town. 167 00:07:06,175 --> 00:07:07,051 I blew it. 168 00:07:07,968 --> 00:07:10,512 Who am I? 169 00:07:10,804 --> 00:07:14,892 You are big, bad I'Brad. 170 00:07:15,184 --> 00:07:17,144 You just need to expand your horizons. 171 00:07:17,436 --> 00:07:19,772 A guy with your financial background could have any job. 172 00:07:20,064 --> 00:07:23,067 Consulting firm, CFO of a start-up. 173 00:07:24,401 --> 00:07:26,070 The sky's the limit. 174 00:07:26,362 --> 00:07:27,947 Yeah, you're right. Yeah, you're gonna get a job. 175 00:07:28,238 --> 00:07:29,740 Mmm. 176 00:07:30,032 --> 00:07:31,909 What, like right now? No. Not that kind of job. 177 00:07:32,201 --> 00:07:33,077 Damn it! 178 00:07:37,539 --> 00:07:39,124 Okay, Max. Here you go. 179 00:07:43,545 --> 00:07:46,715 Great prank! What are you doing, you tiny psycho? 180 00:07:47,007 --> 00:07:49,218 I'm pranking myself so I don't have to wait for you to do it. 181 00:07:49,510 --> 00:07:50,386 I can't handle living in fear. 182 00:07:51,720 --> 00:07:53,222 Are we even now? Huh? 183 00:07:53,514 --> 00:07:55,641 No, we're not even. 184 00:07:55,933 --> 00:07:58,519 And when it comes, my revenge will be served 185 00:07:58,811 --> 00:07:59,687 like the tennis serve of a seventh grade girl, 186 00:08:00,521 --> 00:08:03,148 slow, out-of-bounds, 187 00:08:03,440 --> 00:08:04,525 and I will pull balls out of my skirt. 188 00:08:05,025 --> 00:08:05,859 Wait! 189 00:08:07,403 --> 00:08:09,738 Listen! Listen, you devil! 190 00:08:10,030 --> 00:08:11,657 How about this? 191 00:08:11,949 --> 00:08:13,117 If you promise not to prank me, 192 00:08:13,409 --> 00:08:14,243 I will help you prank everybody else. 193 00:08:15,244 --> 00:08:17,329 Hmm. Come on. 194 00:08:17,621 --> 00:08:20,374 I guess I could use an adorable idiot like you. 195 00:08:20,666 --> 00:08:22,042 I knew you would see my value. 196 00:08:23,919 --> 00:08:25,212 What did I do? 197 00:08:29,550 --> 00:08:31,969 ♪ Who's got a job? Bob's got a job! 198 00:08:32,261 --> 00:08:34,680 ♪ "Bob" rhymes with "job" much better than "Brad" 199 00:08:34,972 --> 00:08:36,807 ♪ So I switched the name but you know what I mean 200 00:08:37,099 --> 00:08:39,727 ♪ I got a job, job A j-o-b ♪ 201 00:08:40,019 --> 00:08:41,478 Yay! Oh, tell me all the details. 202 00:08:42,730 --> 00:08:44,231 Wait, I just got excited. 203 00:08:44,523 --> 00:08:46,025 Let's have sex first. Okay. 204 00:08:46,316 --> 00:08:47,401 No, tell me all the details. Okay. 205 00:08:47,693 --> 00:08:48,652 Sex. Details. 206 00:08:49,570 --> 00:08:51,697 Sex. Start talking. 207 00:08:51,989 --> 00:08:54,700 Okay. Well, I took your advice and I expanded my horizons, 208 00:08:54,992 --> 00:08:57,661 and I got a CFO job! 209 00:08:57,953 --> 00:08:59,830 Introducing Brad Williams, our new CFO, 210 00:09:00,998 --> 00:09:02,958 Chief Fun Officer! 211 00:09:03,250 --> 00:09:05,085 Here we go! 212 00:09:11,675 --> 00:09:13,177 Right, right, right. You're working at a kids' gym. 213 00:09:13,469 --> 00:09:14,762 That is hilarious. 214 00:09:15,054 --> 00:09:16,221 Big news over here. 215 00:09:16,513 --> 00:09:18,098 Quit my job at the car dealership 216 00:09:18,390 --> 00:09:20,601 and I'm now working as a space caterer. 217 00:09:20,893 --> 00:09:22,102 Would you like another star cake, 218 00:09:22,394 --> 00:09:23,353 Ambassador Zorp Zorp? 219 00:09:25,230 --> 00:09:25,939 Take your pants off. 220 00:09:26,231 --> 00:09:27,399 What? No. 221 00:09:27,691 --> 00:09:28,817 Jane, I'm not joking. 222 00:09:29,109 --> 00:09:30,360 I got a job at Chuckles & Huggs. 223 00:09:30,652 --> 00:09:33,906 Oh. Okay. I see what's happening here. 224 00:09:34,198 --> 00:09:36,283 You bombed a few interviews, you freaked, 225 00:09:36,575 --> 00:09:38,285 and you took the first thing that came along. 226 00:09:38,577 --> 00:09:40,788 Classic Brad panic move, just like when 9/11 happened 227 00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:42,456 and you full-on supported the war in Iraq. 228 00:09:42,748 --> 00:09:44,208 We were lied to! Mmm. 229 00:09:44,500 --> 00:09:47,294 And this isn't a panic move, Jane. I like this job. 230 00:09:47,586 --> 00:09:49,630 Brad, you have an MBA. 231 00:09:49,922 --> 00:09:52,591 There's no way you like working at Fartles & James. 232 00:09:52,883 --> 00:09:54,426 That's not the name. So here's what you're gonna do. 233 00:09:54,718 --> 00:09:55,803 You're gonna call 'em up and you're gonna tell them 234 00:09:56,095 --> 00:09:56,929 you made a mistake, and then you're gonna go out 235 00:09:57,221 --> 00:09:58,305 and get a job that you really want. 236 00:09:58,597 --> 00:10:00,390 I did, like I told you. 237 00:10:02,810 --> 00:10:05,395 ♪ Who's got some work? Dirk's got some work! 238 00:10:05,687 --> 00:10:07,564 ♪ Who's got a profession? 239 00:10:07,856 --> 00:10:09,983 ♪ Stetson's got a profession! ♪ 240 00:10:10,275 --> 00:10:11,819 In this scenario, Dirk and Stetson are both me. 241 00:10:12,111 --> 00:10:13,862 Still makes no sense. 242 00:10:14,154 --> 00:10:16,907 So Brad got a job. That's great. 243 00:10:17,199 --> 00:10:20,577 Great? Really? What else is great? Syphilis? Men with bangs? 244 00:10:20,869 --> 00:10:22,830 Waking up with a dead dog in your damn bed? 245 00:10:23,122 --> 00:10:25,082 If I had known that dog was gonna climb in bed with me, 246 00:10:25,374 --> 00:10:27,543 I never would've had so much chocolate in there. 247 00:10:27,835 --> 00:10:30,254 Um, Penny? 248 00:10:30,546 --> 00:10:34,049 Why would my housekeeper drag dying flowers across my floor? 249 00:10:38,387 --> 00:10:41,181 What the hell is that? 250 00:10:43,559 --> 00:10:47,146 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 251 00:10:47,437 --> 00:10:49,022 Oh, my God! Is that an engagement ring? 252 00:10:49,314 --> 00:10:51,441 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Where's Pete? 253 00:10:51,733 --> 00:10:53,360 Oh, my God! That's why he was gonna bring me here after dinner! 254 00:10:53,652 --> 00:10:55,279 Oh, my God! I have to call my mom! 255 00:10:55,571 --> 00:10:57,823 She's is going to die! 256 00:11:00,659 --> 00:11:01,493 Oh, my God. 257 00:11:02,911 --> 00:11:04,329 Max. 258 00:11:08,542 --> 00:11:10,836 Oh! Hi, big boy. 259 00:11:11,128 --> 00:11:13,130 Long day? Mama can tell. 260 00:11:13,422 --> 00:11:15,424 Come sit on this here couch, 261 00:11:15,716 --> 00:11:17,968 and mama'll make your achy calves feel all better, 262 00:11:18,260 --> 00:11:19,720 on the couch. 263 00:11:20,012 --> 00:11:21,680 Wink, wink, mama's me. 264 00:11:23,265 --> 00:11:24,433 You're working with Max, aren't you? 265 00:11:24,725 --> 00:11:26,727 What? No! 266 00:11:27,019 --> 00:11:28,729 Okay, well, if you're not working with Max, 267 00:11:29,021 --> 00:11:31,356 why don't you sit on the couch? 268 00:11:31,648 --> 00:11:33,317 Fine. 269 00:11:33,609 --> 00:11:35,235 Don't know why you're being so weird. 270 00:11:35,527 --> 00:11:36,778 Love couch sitting. 271 00:11:44,745 --> 00:11:46,663 Ow! My tiny leg! Oh, are you okay? 272 00:11:47,998 --> 00:11:50,626 Yeah. I think so. 273 00:11:50,918 --> 00:11:53,545 What was your end game? You knew the couch was rigged. 274 00:11:53,837 --> 00:11:55,756 I don't know. This prank thing is making me crazy! 275 00:11:56,048 --> 00:11:57,966 Al, look at yourself. This is getting ridiculous. 276 00:11:58,258 --> 00:11:59,927 You don't have to join Max. 277 00:12:00,219 --> 00:12:02,387 We can prank him, beat him at his own game. 278 00:12:02,679 --> 00:12:03,931 We'll give him a shot at pre-vengeance, 279 00:12:04,223 --> 00:12:05,390 with a dose of pre-taliation, 280 00:12:05,682 --> 00:12:07,935 and finish him off with a load of pre-comeuppance. 281 00:12:08,227 --> 00:12:09,937 I'm in. It's about time someone got him back 282 00:12:10,229 --> 00:12:11,647 for that airbag in the couch prank! 283 00:12:12,814 --> 00:12:14,650 Oh, pretty bird... 284 00:12:14,942 --> 00:12:16,443 I think we need a new coffee table. 285 00:12:16,735 --> 00:12:18,820 Excellent pranking, Corporal Max. 286 00:12:19,112 --> 00:12:20,197 Thank you, Sergeant. 287 00:12:20,489 --> 00:12:21,907 No, thank you, Max. 288 00:12:22,824 --> 00:12:24,243 No, thank you. 289 00:12:25,118 --> 00:12:27,120 Oh, Max! 290 00:12:27,412 --> 00:12:28,580 Oh, my God. Are you having a breakdown? 291 00:12:28,872 --> 00:12:30,540 Let me get my camera. No, I'm not having a breakdown. 292 00:12:30,832 --> 00:12:32,459 I'm just trying on wedding dresses 293 00:12:32,751 --> 00:12:35,629 'cause I'm totally engaged with a real engagement. 294 00:12:35,921 --> 00:12:37,256 Oh, my God! That's incredible! 295 00:12:37,547 --> 00:12:38,715 Yeah, it is incredible. 296 00:12:39,007 --> 00:12:41,635 I am so happy for you guys. 297 00:12:41,927 --> 00:12:43,387 Please, tell me everything! How did he do it? Let me see the ring. 298 00:12:43,679 --> 00:12:44,638 You go, girl. 299 00:12:46,223 --> 00:12:47,599 Don't tell anyone I said that. 300 00:12:47,891 --> 00:12:50,310 But real talk, you go, girl! 301 00:12:50,602 --> 00:12:52,312 Wait. This is not what I pictured for you, 302 00:12:52,604 --> 00:12:54,773 but it's great. Wait. What is happening? 303 00:12:55,065 --> 00:12:58,068 No, I came over here to make you feel bad about your awful prank. 304 00:12:58,360 --> 00:13:00,445 Oh. You got slimed. Pretty genius. 305 00:13:00,737 --> 00:13:02,823 And the rose petals and the champagne 306 00:13:03,115 --> 00:13:04,866 and the ring? How dare you? 307 00:13:05,158 --> 00:13:07,077 What are you talking about? All I did was the slime. 308 00:13:08,370 --> 00:13:09,037 Oh. 309 00:13:11,915 --> 00:13:13,292 The engagement is real? 310 00:13:13,583 --> 00:13:16,044 You are engaged for real. 311 00:13:16,336 --> 00:13:18,630 Oh, my God! Oh, my God! 312 00:13:18,922 --> 00:13:21,550 Oh, my God! Oh, my God! 313 00:13:21,842 --> 00:13:23,885 I have to call my mom for real now! 314 00:13:24,177 --> 00:13:26,221 Oh, yay! ♪ Penny gettin' married Penny gettin' married ♪ 315 00:13:30,434 --> 00:13:31,685 That was supposed to be for David. 316 00:13:31,977 --> 00:13:32,936 This dress is a rental. 317 00:13:34,688 --> 00:13:35,939 Green looks good on you. 318 00:13:42,988 --> 00:13:45,282 Uh, ma'am, do you have a child here? 319 00:13:45,574 --> 00:13:47,993 We don't normally allow lone adults to leer at the children. 320 00:13:48,285 --> 00:13:50,203 Oh, I have a child in there, a big child, 321 00:13:50,495 --> 00:13:51,705 African-American, 322 00:13:51,997 --> 00:13:53,957 made a rash decision he doesn't realize 323 00:13:54,249 --> 00:13:56,501 he's going to regret. Ah, you mean Andre? 324 00:13:56,793 --> 00:13:59,463 He has a rash, which is why he can't go in the ball pit. 325 00:13:59,755 --> 00:14:02,007 No. I'm talking about my husband Brad. 326 00:14:02,299 --> 00:14:03,717 Ah. 327 00:14:04,009 --> 00:14:05,844 Oh, there he is. Look at him. 328 00:14:06,136 --> 00:14:07,429 Pretending like he's having the time of his life. 329 00:14:20,192 --> 00:14:21,068 Focus! 330 00:14:22,861 --> 00:14:24,946 What kind of rank idiot throws away a diamond ring anyway? 331 00:14:25,238 --> 00:14:27,491 I thought it was garbage from your stupid prank, 332 00:14:27,783 --> 00:14:28,867 but now I know it's from Pete, I love it! 333 00:14:29,159 --> 00:14:31,286 Wait. Where is Pete? 334 00:14:31,578 --> 00:14:35,082 That's a funny, charming story. 335 00:14:35,374 --> 00:14:36,625 I, um, might've pranked Pete. 336 00:14:37,542 --> 00:14:38,210 Help! 337 00:14:39,586 --> 00:14:41,838 I'm glued to the toilet! 338 00:14:42,130 --> 00:14:43,173 But Pete had nothing to do with this! 339 00:14:43,465 --> 00:14:45,050 Pen, I live by mafia rules. 340 00:14:45,342 --> 00:14:46,510 You, your family, anybody in the room, 341 00:14:46,802 --> 00:14:48,220 y'all gotta pay. That's how I roll. 342 00:14:48,512 --> 00:14:49,471 Keep looking. 343 00:14:51,306 --> 00:14:53,141 Bye, Dylan. Bye, Sophia, 344 00:14:53,433 --> 00:14:56,436 girl Dylan, Madison, Madison, Addison... Jane? 345 00:14:58,939 --> 00:15:00,649 What are you doing here? I thought you didn't like Fartles & James. 346 00:15:01,566 --> 00:15:03,026 Listen, I get it. 347 00:15:03,318 --> 00:15:03,985 You really like this job. 348 00:15:04,986 --> 00:15:06,279 I saw you having fun. 349 00:15:07,572 --> 00:15:08,240 It's what you want right now. 350 00:15:08,949 --> 00:15:11,326 Thank you. 351 00:15:11,618 --> 00:15:13,829 And I'm sorry I always act like I know what's best for you. 352 00:15:15,163 --> 00:15:16,415 I'm really just trying to help. 353 00:15:18,708 --> 00:15:20,127 I know. It's okay. 354 00:15:22,295 --> 00:15:23,213 I love you. I love you. 355 00:15:24,923 --> 00:15:25,549 Mmm. Mmm. 356 00:15:27,217 --> 00:15:28,510 Whoa! 357 00:15:28,802 --> 00:15:31,221 It's kind of sexy. 358 00:15:31,513 --> 00:15:33,807 Perks of working here, my dear. Boop! 359 00:15:34,099 --> 00:15:35,934 Hey, Brad, while you're in there, do you mind cleaning up a bit? 360 00:15:36,226 --> 00:15:37,853 Here's the diaper fork. 361 00:15:38,145 --> 00:15:40,856 For now. I work here for now. Oh, God. 362 00:15:41,148 --> 00:15:42,357 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I wanna be out of this so bad. 363 00:15:42,649 --> 00:15:44,484 Oh! Diaper! No! 364 00:15:47,362 --> 00:15:49,364 Oh, you know what? You might not wanna see this 365 00:15:49,656 --> 00:15:51,616 if you ever wanna have sex with Pete in the future. 366 00:15:51,908 --> 00:15:52,659 Copy that. Pete! 367 00:15:54,911 --> 00:15:57,205 You know, I've always been secretly turned on 368 00:15:57,497 --> 00:15:59,291 by a pint-sized girl with a limp. 369 00:15:59,583 --> 00:16:01,710 When Kerri Strug stuck that landing, 370 00:16:02,002 --> 00:16:04,337 I stuck myself in my bedroom for quite some time. 371 00:16:04,629 --> 00:16:07,966 Right on. Yes! I told you Max would be here. Payback time. 372 00:16:08,258 --> 00:16:10,385 Perfect! Pranking Max outside of Pete's 373 00:16:10,677 --> 00:16:11,928 will give us a real element of surprise. 374 00:16:12,220 --> 00:16:13,930 I could not have done this without you. 375 00:16:14,222 --> 00:16:16,266 Thank you. I have my smart moments. 376 00:16:16,558 --> 00:16:18,894 I'm not as dumb as I am. All right. 377 00:16:19,186 --> 00:16:20,896 Keep an eye out while I go rig the limo. 378 00:16:22,939 --> 00:16:24,191 All right, I got it. Go, go. 379 00:16:33,200 --> 00:16:36,786 This'll burn a little, but it'll free your cheeks, bro. 380 00:16:37,078 --> 00:16:38,038 Also, it's gonna burn a lot. 381 00:16:41,458 --> 00:16:43,293 Can I come in? Every second that we waste is a second I can't say, 382 00:16:43,585 --> 00:16:45,212 "You know my fiance." 383 00:16:45,504 --> 00:16:48,006 He gon' need a minute. Roger that. 384 00:16:48,298 --> 00:16:49,424 Come on! Git! 385 00:16:51,384 --> 00:16:53,720 Okay. Now we just lay low and play it cool. 386 00:16:54,012 --> 00:16:55,680 Hey, little weirdoes. Oh, goodie! You guys are here. 387 00:16:55,972 --> 00:16:57,015 Did we miss it? No. 388 00:16:57,307 --> 00:16:58,934 You're about to witness some real genius, 389 00:16:59,226 --> 00:17:02,187 specifically the popcorn prank from Real Genius. 390 00:17:02,479 --> 00:17:05,649 It doesn't take a real genius to know that is a prank I am not familiar with. 391 00:17:05,941 --> 00:17:08,401 Now, I snuck into Max's limo and rigged 12 hot plates 392 00:17:08,693 --> 00:17:11,363 and a ton of popcorn bags to the ignition. 393 00:17:11,655 --> 00:17:14,324 When he starts the engine, the limo will fill with delicious popcorn 394 00:17:14,616 --> 00:17:15,700 and we will laugh and laugh... 395 00:17:20,956 --> 00:17:24,042 Max is in there! 396 00:17:24,334 --> 00:17:25,502 Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! 397 00:17:25,794 --> 00:17:27,963 My sweet, sweet Max! 398 00:17:28,255 --> 00:17:29,172 Oh, my God! What happened? 399 00:17:29,965 --> 00:17:30,715 I killed my friend! 400 00:17:32,634 --> 00:17:34,261 His life was his art, and I killed him! 401 00:17:34,553 --> 00:17:37,389 I Miss him already! I Miss my dead gay friend! 402 00:17:37,681 --> 00:17:38,515 Yeah, you do. Huh? 403 00:17:39,474 --> 00:17:42,477 I got you! 404 00:17:42,769 --> 00:17:47,232 You should've seen your face, crying over my dumb memory! 405 00:17:49,109 --> 00:17:51,069 I'm never letting go of this thick, biscuity torso. 406 00:17:51,361 --> 00:17:52,696 Max, you are the worst. 407 00:17:52,988 --> 00:17:54,531 How'd you even pull this off? 408 00:17:54,823 --> 00:17:58,535 Well, I snuck through the Flintstones hole in my limo, 409 00:17:58,827 --> 00:18:01,371 blew it up, thus faking my own death. 410 00:18:01,663 --> 00:18:04,457 And Dave, you sentimental bitch, 411 00:18:04,749 --> 00:18:05,959 Alex was working with me the whole time. 412 00:18:06,251 --> 00:18:07,335 Hey! I win! 413 00:18:10,213 --> 00:18:12,173 I win! 414 00:18:12,465 --> 00:18:15,385 I pranked all of you. Max Blum! 415 00:18:16,803 --> 00:18:19,014 I said my name right! Max Blum! 416 00:18:19,306 --> 00:18:20,515 I said my name right! 417 00:18:20,807 --> 00:18:23,435 I am the wiener! Damn it! Winner! 418 00:18:23,727 --> 00:18:25,312 Yeah, you are. So you knowingly blew up 419 00:18:25,604 --> 00:18:27,606 your one and only source of income for a prank? 420 00:18:27,897 --> 00:18:29,649 No, Jane. I am gonna collect 421 00:18:29,941 --> 00:18:32,819 such the big daddy sweet insurance check once... 422 00:18:33,111 --> 00:18:33,862 Damn it. I don't have insurance. 423 00:18:34,154 --> 00:18:35,655 Oh, God. You didn't get me! 424 00:18:35,947 --> 00:18:37,574 I didn't get pranked. 425 00:18:37,866 --> 00:18:40,201 Oh, yeah? Ya didn't get pranked? 426 00:18:40,493 --> 00:18:42,621 You gave yourself a sideways Kate Gosselin, 427 00:18:42,912 --> 00:18:44,497 bazooka'd yourself through a coffee table, 428 00:18:44,789 --> 00:18:47,334 and Gillooly'd your leg. I think you got pranked, trick. 429 00:18:47,626 --> 00:18:49,461 It's gettin' better. Yeah, he's right, Al. 430 00:18:49,753 --> 00:18:52,130 He got us all good. Even stunning Pete. 431 00:18:52,422 --> 00:18:55,967 Oh! Pete! Where the hell were ya? You missed my best prank! 432 00:18:56,259 --> 00:18:57,886 You glued me to the toilet, Max. 433 00:18:58,178 --> 00:18:59,262 Right! 434 00:19:01,306 --> 00:19:03,058 Don't you have something nice to ask Penny? 435 00:19:03,350 --> 00:19:05,060 What? 436 00:19:05,352 --> 00:19:07,354 This is not, um, how I envisioned this happening, 437 00:19:09,022 --> 00:19:10,774 but... Oh, wait. Um... 438 00:19:12,442 --> 00:19:14,235 You need this? Thank you. 439 00:19:14,527 --> 00:19:15,695 - I really love it, by the way. - Okay. You're good. 440 00:19:19,032 --> 00:19:22,535 Penny, I love everything about you. 441 00:19:22,827 --> 00:19:25,789 I love your big heart and I love your even bigger head. 442 00:19:26,081 --> 00:19:28,375 Aw. I love how last night, when the waiter asked, 443 00:19:28,667 --> 00:19:31,461 "Do you want a doggie bag?" You didn't just say no. 444 00:19:31,753 --> 00:19:34,339 You lied and told him we were going on a three-week Alaskan cruise. 445 00:19:34,631 --> 00:19:35,215 Well, I didn't want him to think I didn't like the food. 446 00:19:35,965 --> 00:19:38,593 I know. 447 00:19:38,885 --> 00:19:40,637 You always surprise me, and I want you to surprise me for the rest of my life. 448 00:19:42,639 --> 00:19:43,890 I know it's quick, but once you know, you know. 449 00:19:46,309 --> 00:19:48,520 Penny Hartz, will you marry me? Yes! 450 00:19:51,731 --> 00:19:52,982 Yay, girl! 451 00:19:57,862 --> 00:19:59,948 It's so pretty! 452 00:20:00,240 --> 00:20:01,324 I'm crying and I don't care who knows it. 453 00:20:03,243 --> 00:20:04,661 It works! It really works! 454 00:20:10,709 --> 00:20:12,460 Classic couple of days, guys. 455 00:20:12,752 --> 00:20:13,336 Mmm-hmm. One last toast. 456 00:20:14,337 --> 00:20:15,922 To Penny and Pete. 457 00:20:16,214 --> 00:20:17,674 To the most romantic engagement 458 00:20:17,966 --> 00:20:20,218 ever to take place within 20 feet of a car fire. 459 00:20:20,510 --> 00:20:21,678 Well, I have to go lock up the store. 460 00:20:21,970 --> 00:20:24,305 See you guys later. 461 00:20:24,597 --> 00:20:26,599 So, not to divert attention from my hard-core eternal love, 462 00:20:26,891 --> 00:20:28,184 but, Max, I gotta hand it to you, 463 00:20:28,476 --> 00:20:29,811 you outdid yourself on those pranks. 464 00:20:30,103 --> 00:20:31,855 Ah, thank you, but I couldn't have done it 465 00:20:32,147 --> 00:20:33,398 without Dave starting this whole thing. 466 00:20:33,690 --> 00:20:34,733 Well, technically, you started it 467 00:20:35,024 --> 00:20:35,734 with the whole "subs 4 guns" thing. 468 00:20:37,360 --> 00:20:39,154 What "subs 4 guns" thing? 469 00:20:39,446 --> 00:20:40,822 Hold the pickles. 470 00:20:41,114 --> 00:20:42,866 If you didn't do the gun thing, who did? 471 00:20:43,158 --> 00:20:44,534 This fax came for you guys. A fax? 472 00:20:46,786 --> 00:20:48,747 What in the Wyclef Jean is this? 473 00:20:51,166 --> 00:20:52,751 Is this Alex? 474 00:20:53,042 --> 00:20:54,210 Wait. Alex was behind this whole thing? 475 00:20:54,502 --> 00:20:57,672 No way. No way in hell. 476 00:20:57,964 --> 00:21:00,049 She got the worst of it. She cut her hair, she hurt her leg. 477 00:21:00,341 --> 00:21:01,384 Yeah, it couldn't have been her. Of course not. 478 00:21:01,676 --> 00:21:02,427 Alex? Our Alex? 479 00:21:02,719 --> 00:21:03,219 She dumb as hell. 480 00:21:28,161 --> 00:21:29,454 I'm not as dumb as I am. 35384

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.