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1
00:00:02,627 --> 00:00:05,713
Hey, how hard would it be
to throw a press conference?
2
00:00:06,005 --> 00:00:08,007
About what?
Yeah, you're right.
3
00:00:10,468 --> 00:00:12,803
I got an e-mail from Shershow.
He's getting married.
4
00:00:13,095 --> 00:00:15,097
- Who would marry Shershow?
- Oh, this is crazy.
5
00:00:15,389 --> 00:00:18,017
"Though Melinda and I met
but two short months ago,
6
00:00:18,309 --> 00:00:19,018
"our bond is as inseparable
7
00:00:20,061 --> 00:00:22,396
as the Na'vi people's hair
penetration."
8
00:00:22,688 --> 00:00:24,607
That guy's such an idiot.
9
00:00:24,899 --> 00:00:25,858
Shershow's getting married.
10
00:00:26,150 --> 00:00:27,652
This Saturday.
On our anniversary.
11
00:00:27,944 --> 00:00:30,279
No, our anniversary
is... this Saturday.
12
00:00:30,571 --> 00:00:32,740
This is classic Shershow
to get married on our day.
13
00:00:33,032 --> 00:00:34,659
You're gonna have to change
all the plans you made.
14
00:00:34,951 --> 00:00:37,161
Damn it!
They were such good plans too.
15
00:00:37,453 --> 00:00:39,580
It's... All the...
16
00:00:39,872 --> 00:00:41,832
The chocolate and...
17
00:00:42,124 --> 00:00:43,793
Trips and... Chocolate trips?
18
00:00:45,169 --> 00:00:46,337
Candles,
19
00:00:46,629 --> 00:00:48,130
silk sheets,
20
00:00:48,422 --> 00:00:50,383
and oil.
Hmm?
21
00:00:50,675 --> 00:00:52,802
Gotta have oil.
Okay.
22
00:00:53,094 --> 00:00:54,845
Seriously, guys,
23
00:00:55,137 --> 00:00:57,473
I can't believe Shershow
is getting married before me.
24
00:00:57,765 --> 00:00:59,517
He was my safety.
I mean, we made a pact.
25
00:00:59,809 --> 00:01:02,019
If we didn't marry anyone by 40,
then we'd marry each other.
26
00:01:02,311 --> 00:01:03,521
You'd actually marry Shershow?
27
00:01:03,813 --> 00:01:05,314
It's like the gun
in my grandma's purse.
28
00:01:05,606 --> 00:01:06,857
She hopes she doesn't have
to use it,
29
00:01:07,149 --> 00:01:08,609
but likes knowing it's there.
Hmm.
30
00:01:08,901 --> 00:01:11,279
I mean, I thought Shershow
was the safest safety possible.
31
00:01:11,571 --> 00:01:13,739
The guy's a maniac. How many
times have we bailed him out?
32
00:01:14,031 --> 00:01:16,450
Once out of jail
and once out of an actual boat.
33
00:01:16,742 --> 00:01:17,994
Remember that summer
he stayed with us?
34
00:01:18,286 --> 00:01:19,870
Whoa! Where's my Bulls game?
35
00:01:20,162 --> 00:01:22,832
And why do we have 15 hours
of Maury Povich?
36
00:01:23,124 --> 00:01:24,875
Because I'm in a fantasy
Povich league.
37
00:01:25,167 --> 00:01:27,503
Excuse me.
Let me just nestle through here.
38
00:01:30,047 --> 00:01:31,465
Oh. Golly.
39
00:01:31,757 --> 00:01:33,092
Ugh. Such a deep belly button.
Ugh.
40
00:01:34,135 --> 00:01:36,721
It wasn't as bad as the time he
made smoothies at my apartment.
41
00:01:39,223 --> 00:01:40,182
Ooh.
42
00:01:40,474 --> 00:01:41,601
Shershow has issues.
43
00:01:41,892 --> 00:01:43,936
Says the guy who wears
the pajama top to the bar.
44
00:01:45,605 --> 00:01:46,105
Ha-ha!
- That's true.
45
00:01:47,148 --> 00:01:49,734
Actually, now that Shershow's
getting his life together,
46
00:01:50,026 --> 00:01:51,736
that kind of makes you
the new Shershow, man.
47
00:01:52,028 --> 00:01:53,321
Yes!
Yes, you are.
48
00:01:53,613 --> 00:01:55,072
Can I get a beer, please?
49
00:01:56,616 --> 00:01:58,075
Your life is in shambles.
50
00:01:58,367 --> 00:02:00,161
Well, the joke is on all of you,
51
00:02:00,453 --> 00:02:02,079
because I am wearing
my bathing suit bottoms.
52
00:02:02,371 --> 00:02:04,332
Brad, pay for my beer.
53
00:02:04,624 --> 00:02:06,959
Oh, he has his bathing suit on!
54
00:02:07,251 --> 00:02:09,879
He's gonna die soon.
I can't. I can't.
55
00:02:10,171 --> 00:02:12,131
Shershow!
Shershow!
56
00:02:22,308 --> 00:02:24,435
So Al, did you have fun
on your date last night?
57
00:02:24,727 --> 00:02:26,103
Uh, I wouldn't go that far.
58
00:02:26,395 --> 00:02:28,022
I had a great time.
Me too.
59
00:02:31,233 --> 00:02:33,069
So should I get a condom?
60
00:02:33,361 --> 00:02:34,445
What? No.
61
00:02:34,737 --> 00:02:36,280
Sweet! I hate condoms too.
62
00:02:36,572 --> 00:02:37,990
Who does that?
They all do that.
63
00:02:38,282 --> 00:02:41,160
I forgot how much dating sucks
and I wish I find a normal guy.
64
00:02:41,452 --> 00:02:42,912
Because to be honest,
65
00:02:43,204 --> 00:02:45,331
it's been a while since I did
the old lay down, move around.
66
00:02:45,623 --> 00:02:47,917
I'm sorry. What was that?
The old downtown parade.
67
00:02:48,209 --> 00:02:49,418
I don't follow.
Still not getting it.
68
00:02:49,710 --> 00:02:51,087
- Sex! I'm talking about sex!
- Oh!
69
00:02:51,379 --> 00:02:52,880
The lay down.
Okay, and then you...
70
00:02:53,172 --> 00:02:54,131
Hey, guys.
71
00:02:54,423 --> 00:02:56,342
Oh, hi.
Hi.
72
00:02:56,634 --> 00:02:58,386
Thought I'd bring you
some sandwiches.
73
00:03:00,137 --> 00:03:01,931
What is going on here?
Just some girl talk.
74
00:03:03,808 --> 00:03:07,103
Wait. You guys are talking about
Alex and a dude, right?
75
00:03:07,395 --> 00:03:09,355
No.
Guys, I'm cool.
76
00:03:09,647 --> 00:03:12,525
I mean, we are friends.
We gotta be open about this.
77
00:03:12,817 --> 00:03:14,694
You're right.
All right, so basically,
78
00:03:14,985 --> 00:03:16,987
I go out on a date with Connor.
79
00:03:17,279 --> 00:03:20,199
One kiss and he's pulling out...
Okay, that's a good start.
80
00:03:20,491 --> 00:03:22,159
Should we exchange
anniversary gifts today
81
00:03:22,451 --> 00:03:23,661
since we won't be here
on Saturday?
82
00:03:23,953 --> 00:03:26,414
No, let's wait five to eight
more business days.
83
00:03:26,706 --> 00:03:27,790
Couldn't have overnighted it?
84
00:03:28,082 --> 00:03:29,125
Hmm?
Oh, hey, guys.
85
00:03:29,417 --> 00:03:30,543
What are you guys doing here?
86
00:03:30,835 --> 00:03:32,670
Shershow got in a fight
with our cable guy.
87
00:03:32,962 --> 00:03:34,213
It was raining shin kicks.
88
00:03:34,505 --> 00:03:36,757
Needless to say,
no mas ESPN Deportee.
89
00:03:37,049 --> 00:03:39,468
Well, riddle me this.
If I'm so Shershow,
90
00:03:39,760 --> 00:03:40,928
how come the real Shershow
asked me
91
00:03:41,220 --> 00:03:42,304
to officiate his wedding?
92
00:03:42,596 --> 00:03:45,057
Boom. Stink it.
93
00:03:45,349 --> 00:03:46,642
Now if you'll excuse me,
I have to apply
94
00:03:46,934 --> 00:03:47,893
for my minister's license.
95
00:03:48,185 --> 00:03:49,145
You mean renew your license,
96
00:03:49,437 --> 00:03:51,397
because you officiated
our wedding.
97
00:03:51,689 --> 00:03:54,191
You did have your license
when you married us, right?
98
00:03:54,483 --> 00:03:55,443
Funny story. No?
99
00:03:59,113 --> 00:04:02,241
What's happening with her face?
100
00:04:02,533 --> 00:04:03,826
She's Beautiful Mind-ing it.
101
00:04:04,118 --> 00:04:06,662
Just gotta let it
play itself out.
102
00:04:06,954 --> 00:04:08,748
Brad!
You know what this means, right?
103
00:04:09,039 --> 00:04:10,291
We get to have
honeymoon sex again,
104
00:04:10,583 --> 00:04:13,669
and I get to put my car keys
in your attic?
105
00:04:13,961 --> 00:04:15,087
We get to get married again.
106
00:04:15,379 --> 00:04:16,797
Technically,
you guys are still married.
107
00:04:17,089 --> 00:04:19,383
Yeah, but now we get to have
the perfect wedding I wanted.
108
00:04:19,675 --> 00:04:21,427
Babe, our wedding was perfect.
To everyone but us.
109
00:04:21,719 --> 00:04:22,845
We didn't get the prime rib
we wanted
110
00:04:23,137 --> 00:04:24,597
because your lesbian vegan aunt
adopts cows.
111
00:04:24,889 --> 00:04:26,015
And what about
your 2-year-old niece
112
00:04:26,307 --> 00:04:27,725
that your sister begged
to be our flower girl
113
00:04:28,017 --> 00:04:29,977
and swore was potty-trained?
Rose petals were not
114
00:04:30,269 --> 00:04:31,520
the only thing
she dropped in that aisle.
115
00:04:31,812 --> 00:04:33,272
It wasn't that bad.
Poops, Brad.
116
00:04:34,315 --> 00:04:37,526
Madison pooped on our wedding.
But now we get to do it right.
117
00:04:37,818 --> 00:04:39,695
This is gonna be so great!
118
00:04:39,987 --> 00:04:40,988
Ow!
119
00:04:41,280 --> 00:04:42,239
Thanks, a lot, Max.
120
00:04:42,531 --> 00:04:43,532
Classic Shershow.
121
00:04:43,824 --> 00:04:45,993
Hello, Wisconsin.
122
00:04:46,285 --> 00:04:47,745
Oh, my God. Would
you stop saying that?
123
00:04:48,037 --> 00:04:49,121
Wow. This is so nice.
124
00:04:49,413 --> 00:04:50,623
I thought if Shershow
ever got married
125
00:04:50,915 --> 00:04:51,999
it'd be in a women's prison.
126
00:04:52,291 --> 00:04:53,542
Jane, that was the lawyer.
Oh.
127
00:04:53,834 --> 00:04:55,920
We sign some papers and we're
128
00:04:56,212 --> 00:04:57,546
No re-wedding necessary.
Too late.
129
00:04:57,838 --> 00:04:59,381
Brain wheels
are already turning.
130
00:04:59,673 --> 00:05:01,634
You know what that gesture
actually means, right?
131
00:05:01,926 --> 00:05:03,344
What's up, nerds?
132
00:05:03,636 --> 00:05:05,846
Going with the grocery bag
luggage thing now, Shershow?
133
00:05:06,138 --> 00:05:07,807
It's called
living a green lifestyle.
134
00:05:08,098 --> 00:05:09,725
You might wanna look into it,
big oil.
135
00:05:10,017 --> 00:05:11,435
And I'll show you
how un-Shershow I am
136
00:05:11,727 --> 00:05:14,772
when I officiate the crap out of
his wedding ceremony tomorrow.
137
00:05:15,064 --> 00:05:16,315
I bet you all 20 bucks
I make you cry.
138
00:05:16,607 --> 00:05:18,359
You don't have 20 bucks.
I will find 20 bucks
139
00:05:18,651 --> 00:05:21,070
and use it as dental floss,
because I won't need it so bad.
140
00:05:21,362 --> 00:05:23,113
And besides, Penny is the one
that is Shershow.
141
00:05:23,405 --> 00:05:25,699
Her safety's getting married.
How depressing is that?
142
00:05:25,991 --> 00:05:27,034
Okay, come on, Max.
143
00:05:27,326 --> 00:05:28,661
I was never gonna marry
that guy.
144
00:05:28,953 --> 00:05:32,289
And anybody who would
must be busted in la faccia.
145
00:05:32,581 --> 00:05:34,416
- Yeah.
- Hey, guys.
146
00:05:34,708 --> 00:05:35,668
Hey.
147
00:05:38,087 --> 00:05:40,589
More like awesome in la faccia.
Damn.
148
00:05:40,881 --> 00:05:42,716
I'm so glad you guys made it.
149
00:05:43,008 --> 00:05:44,677
Hi.
Hi. You look great.
150
00:05:44,969 --> 00:05:46,345
And you...
My God, you smell good.
151
00:05:46,637 --> 00:05:48,639
Yeah, I realized that aluminum
is a really important
152
00:05:48,931 --> 00:05:49,932
component of deodorant.
153
00:05:50,224 --> 00:05:52,393
- Everybody, how are you?
- Hi.
154
00:05:52,685 --> 00:05:54,770
Hey.
Let me introduce you to my love.
155
00:05:55,062 --> 00:05:56,564
This is Melinda.
156
00:05:56,856 --> 00:05:59,650
I am so happy that you all able
to make it on such short notice.
157
00:05:59,942 --> 00:06:03,070
I'm leaving next week
to deliver ovens to Honduras.
158
00:06:03,362 --> 00:06:04,613
Wow.
You hit it out of the park.
159
00:06:04,905 --> 00:06:06,574
She's beautiful and says
"Honduras" the fancy way.
160
00:06:06,866 --> 00:06:08,075
She's really pretty.
Pretty?
161
00:06:08,367 --> 00:06:09,410
I mean, she's a living doll.
162
00:06:09,702 --> 00:06:10,911
I am attracted to you.
Calm down.
163
00:06:11,203 --> 00:06:12,663
Very much so and I am a gay man.
Okay.
164
00:06:12,955 --> 00:06:14,623
Yeah. Can you believe
I got a girl like this?
165
00:06:14,915 --> 00:06:17,042
I was kind of counting
on our safety pact.
166
00:06:17,334 --> 00:06:20,129
I was afraid I was gonna end up
like those sad lonelies.
167
00:06:20,421 --> 00:06:21,755
The kind that cry
at intersections.
168
00:06:22,047 --> 00:06:23,716
Good thing I dodged that bullet.
169
00:06:24,008 --> 00:06:25,384
What's been going on with you?
How are you?
170
00:06:27,386 --> 00:06:28,470
I'm engaged!
171
00:06:28,762 --> 00:06:30,055
What?
172
00:06:30,347 --> 00:06:32,266
Hmm. Yeah.
173
00:06:35,644 --> 00:06:37,855
So, Penny, that's great.
You got engaged.
174
00:06:38,147 --> 00:06:41,317
To who?
Uh... my fiancé.
175
00:06:43,736 --> 00:06:46,447
So where's your fiancé?
Why isn't he here with you now?
176
00:06:46,739 --> 00:06:49,116
There is a storm.
Storm's a-coming.
177
00:06:49,408 --> 00:06:51,702
Up the coast and the channels.
Big storm.
178
00:06:51,994 --> 00:06:53,454
He really couldn't make it,
but you know what?
179
00:06:53,746 --> 00:06:55,205
Why are you calling me?
He's obsessed with me.
180
00:06:55,497 --> 00:06:57,958
He calls me constantly.
Excuse me.
181
00:06:58,250 --> 00:07:00,461
Anyways, you guys,
Jason told me so much about you.
182
00:07:00,753 --> 00:07:03,005
Who's Jason?
That's Shershow's first name.
183
00:07:03,297 --> 00:07:04,673
It's so Shershow
that you don't know that.
184
00:07:04,965 --> 00:07:08,844
Max, Brad, Jane, Dave, Alex.
185
00:07:10,304 --> 00:07:12,139
Hi.
I'm sorry, you guys.
186
00:07:12,431 --> 00:07:14,767
I have to tell my Aunt Cathy
that this isn't her wedding.
187
00:07:15,059 --> 00:07:16,685
Yeah, totally.
I hate pushy relatives.
188
00:07:16,977 --> 00:07:18,479
It's like, "This is my day!"
Right?
189
00:07:18,771 --> 00:07:20,898
No, not right.
She has advanced Alzheimer's
190
00:07:21,190 --> 00:07:22,733
and it's been a really
trying time for my family.
191
00:07:23,025 --> 00:07:24,485
She thinks it's 1952.
192
00:07:24,777 --> 00:07:27,529
Ooh. She's gonna freak out
when she sees Brad in the hotel.
193
00:07:27,821 --> 00:07:29,156
Yeah.
Sorry.
194
00:07:29,448 --> 00:07:31,283
It's okay.
195
00:07:31,575 --> 00:07:34,787
Wow. Did it seem like
she was cold to me, or...
196
00:07:35,079 --> 00:07:36,789
Yeah, she thinks
that you're a wedding jinx,
197
00:07:37,081 --> 00:07:39,959
so she's really worried that
you're gonna ruin the weekend.
198
00:07:40,250 --> 00:07:42,753
What? A wedding jinx?
I've only ruined one wedding.
199
00:07:43,045 --> 00:07:45,798
Yeah, and Yoko only ruined
one Beatles.
200
00:07:46,090 --> 00:07:47,466
I'm gonna check in.
201
00:07:47,758 --> 00:07:49,176
Hello, room.
202
00:07:49,468 --> 00:07:51,470
Hope you're ready
for some sex to be had in you.
203
00:07:51,762 --> 00:07:53,889
Okay, you don't have to say that
to every hotel room we stay in.
204
00:07:54,181 --> 00:07:55,140
It's just a courtesy.
205
00:07:58,394 --> 00:07:59,395
Ooh.
206
00:08:02,356 --> 00:08:05,818
Aw. "Shershow-Rogers wedding,
October 19th."
207
00:08:06,110 --> 00:08:07,903
I love our anniversary date.
208
00:08:09,780 --> 00:08:11,490
Oh, my God.
If we got married tomorrow,
209
00:08:11,782 --> 00:08:13,117
we could still have
the same anniversary.
210
00:08:13,409 --> 00:08:14,576
But tomorrow's
Shershow's wedding.
211
00:08:14,868 --> 00:08:16,286
So we'll just do it right after,
212
00:08:16,578 --> 00:08:17,579
up here with all our friends.
213
00:08:17,871 --> 00:08:19,832
Perfect.
I am gonna order the cake and...
214
00:08:20,124 --> 00:08:21,125
Whoa, whoa.
215
00:08:21,417 --> 00:08:23,002
Look, can you please
not get too crazy
216
00:08:23,293 --> 00:08:24,378
with this whole fake wedding?
217
00:08:24,670 --> 00:08:27,548
I made a big mistake.
Ooh. You think?
218
00:08:27,840 --> 00:08:29,675
I panicked. I'm an independent
woman and everything
219
00:08:29,967 --> 00:08:32,052
but no matter how hard
you sing along to Liz Phair
220
00:08:32,344 --> 00:08:34,138
or how many
women's surf camps you go to,
221
00:08:34,430 --> 00:08:37,099
when the chips are down,
you're going fake fiancé.
222
00:08:37,391 --> 00:08:40,269
No big deal. Just tell Shershow
your fiancé couldn't make it.
223
00:08:40,561 --> 00:08:41,770
Might be too late for that.
224
00:08:42,062 --> 00:08:44,314
What's up, skank?
Whee!
225
00:08:44,606 --> 00:08:46,233
Oh, I'm fat. Ha-ha. Hi!
226
00:08:46,525 --> 00:08:48,110
Hey. You guys
remember Derek.
227
00:08:48,402 --> 00:08:50,279
You remember me, and I don't
remember you. Just kidding.
228
00:08:50,571 --> 00:08:51,989
It's Max, Brad
and some blonde lady.
229
00:08:52,281 --> 00:08:54,491
Penny Pasta, I need to go
to the little girl's room.
230
00:08:54,783 --> 00:08:57,703
I've had so many half-caf skim
lattes on the drive up, okay?
231
00:08:57,995 --> 00:08:59,830
This right here,
it's happening, okay?
232
00:09:00,122 --> 00:09:01,540
Get into it. Drama.
233
00:09:03,876 --> 00:09:05,878
He's all I could get
last minute.
234
00:09:06,170 --> 00:09:07,755
Guys, he can totally
pull oft straight.
235
00:09:08,047 --> 00:09:09,131
In college,
he minored in theater.
236
00:09:09,423 --> 00:09:11,091
Yeah, but he majored in dudes.
237
00:09:14,636 --> 00:09:17,264
Whoa, girl. Damn.
238
00:09:19,224 --> 00:09:22,102
Hey, so you agree.
Melinda's being crazy.
239
00:09:22,394 --> 00:09:24,104
There's no such thing
as a wedding jinx, right?
240
00:09:24,396 --> 00:09:26,732
No, no, our wedding went oft
without a hitch.
241
00:09:27,024 --> 00:09:28,442
Literally nobody got hitched.
242
00:09:28,734 --> 00:09:31,904
Kidding!
We are here, we're friends,
243
00:09:32,196 --> 00:09:34,907
and we are gonna do it up
at this rehearsal dinner.
244
00:09:35,199 --> 00:09:37,618
Hey, maybe you'll meet a guy.
Maybe I'll meet a girl.
245
00:09:37,910 --> 00:09:40,329
I haven't had much luck
in the guy department lately.
246
00:09:40,621 --> 00:09:42,956
Wait. You know, um,
247
00:09:43,248 --> 00:09:44,750
maybe we could be
each other's wingmen.
248
00:09:45,042 --> 00:09:46,919
I mean, we could do that, right?
249
00:09:47,211 --> 00:09:49,338
We're buds.
Totally. Yeah.
250
00:09:49,630 --> 00:09:52,633
So you wanna be my wingman?
251
00:09:52,925 --> 00:09:54,176
I do.
252
00:09:54,468 --> 00:09:57,179
Where was that six months ago?
253
00:09:57,471 --> 00:09:59,264
Kidding! I'm kidding.
254
00:09:59,556 --> 00:10:01,600
Here we go.
255
00:10:04,394 --> 00:10:06,230
Hey, Penny, you look stunning.
256
00:10:06,522 --> 00:10:07,981
So introduce me
to the lucky guy.
257
00:10:08,273 --> 00:10:10,776
Shershow, this is Derek.
258
00:10:11,068 --> 00:10:13,821
That's
my name, so don't wear it out.
259
00:10:14,113 --> 00:10:15,447
What's happening?
260
00:10:15,739 --> 00:10:19,284
This hors d'oeuvre is like,
really weird, right?
261
00:10:19,576 --> 00:10:21,620
Yeah, I guess it is weird,
baby quiche.
262
00:10:21,912 --> 00:10:24,456
It's like a tiny egg pie.
263
00:10:26,708 --> 00:10:29,044
Great.
Well, uh, I'm gonna go mingle.
264
00:10:29,336 --> 00:10:30,921
Have some hot tea with lemon.
265
00:10:31,213 --> 00:10:33,298
- Bye.
- My God, Penny,
266
00:10:33,590 --> 00:10:35,008
Ty Pennington,
we are so doing it.
267
00:10:35,300 --> 00:10:36,844
I'm gonna win a Tony this weekend.
Really?
268
00:10:37,136 --> 00:10:39,721
Your idea of playing straight
is Danny Zuko from Grease?
269
00:10:40,013 --> 00:10:42,683
It's not a problem.
I've got plenty in the kitty.
270
00:10:42,975 --> 00:10:45,102
Niles from Frasier. "Oh,
Frasier, don't you think..."
271
00:10:45,394 --> 00:10:46,937
That is not gonna work.
That's all I've got.
272
00:10:47,229 --> 00:10:48,564
Oh, my God.
273
00:10:50,482 --> 00:10:52,818
I'm not seeing a very deep
talent pool here.
274
00:10:53,110 --> 00:10:56,238
Oh, wait, wait, wait.
Now this guy's got some...
275
00:10:56,530 --> 00:10:58,031
Braces. Ugh.
276
00:10:58,323 --> 00:11:01,577
Ooh. Hello.
Target acquired.
277
00:11:01,869 --> 00:11:03,537
All right, I'm on it.
278
00:11:06,790 --> 00:11:08,250
Ooh! Jeez.
279
00:11:09,877 --> 00:11:11,253
Oh, God.
280
00:11:13,630 --> 00:11:16,425
Can you please just leave it?
Yeah.
281
00:11:16,717 --> 00:11:18,969
She's the wedding jinx.
282
00:11:19,261 --> 00:11:21,513
Mm, these are good.
Not as good as shrimp.
283
00:11:21,805 --> 00:11:23,265
I love shrimp.
There's shrimp here?
284
00:11:23,557 --> 00:11:25,350
Nope. Just like there wasn't
any shrimp at our wedding.
285
00:11:25,642 --> 00:11:27,477
Because your cousin Erin
was so allergic.
286
00:11:27,769 --> 00:11:30,439
But things could be different
this time.
287
00:11:30,731 --> 00:11:34,234
Two words for you:
shrimp fountain.
288
00:11:34,526 --> 00:11:37,696
Mmm. Four words:
I like shrimp fountain.
289
00:11:38,739 --> 00:11:40,699
Then you shall have one.
290
00:11:42,743 --> 00:11:44,369
And I can get my cake
because there's a local bakery
291
00:11:44,661 --> 00:11:46,663
that makes a ganache
that'll make you cry.
292
00:11:49,791 --> 00:11:51,335
Woman totally played me.
293
00:11:53,045 --> 00:11:54,713
Go on, scoop it up.
294
00:11:55,005 --> 00:11:56,465
It's true.
295
00:11:56,757 --> 00:11:59,218
I forgot to tell you that
Dave owns his own food truck.
296
00:11:59,509 --> 00:12:02,888
OMG. You have a truck
made out of food?
297
00:12:03,180 --> 00:12:05,057
Give us a sec?
Okay.
298
00:12:05,349 --> 00:12:07,517
We need to keep looking.
I've never felt so smart.
299
00:12:07,809 --> 00:12:09,311
Have you guys seen Derek?
300
00:12:09,603 --> 00:12:11,730
Oh, yeah, he mentioned
about meeting up with Kenickie
301
00:12:12,022 --> 00:12:13,607
to race the Scorpions.
That was good.
302
00:12:13,899 --> 00:12:14,942
Thanks.
303
00:12:17,069 --> 00:12:19,112
Ooh. That didn't look good.
Ooh. Yikes.
304
00:12:19,404 --> 00:12:21,990
Mel and I have been best friends
since we were 10.
305
00:12:22,282 --> 00:12:25,160
I would do that again and again.
306
00:12:25,452 --> 00:12:27,204
And now I have two best friends.
307
00:12:27,496 --> 00:12:30,123
Love you, Melinda and Jason.
308
00:12:30,415 --> 00:12:32,834
Would anyone from the groom's
side like to say anything?
309
00:12:33,126 --> 00:12:35,379
Mm.
Oh, don't go.
310
00:12:35,671 --> 00:12:36,797
- No. No, no, no.
- Don't, Pen.
311
00:12:37,089 --> 00:12:38,215
Pen.
Boop. Boop.
312
00:12:38,507 --> 00:12:39,716
I want to say something. I do.
313
00:12:40,008 --> 00:12:42,135
You're cute, but I'm cuter.
314
00:12:42,427 --> 00:12:44,888
Hey, everybody.
Hmm.
315
00:12:45,180 --> 00:12:48,100
My name is Penny Hartz. Ding.
Yup.
316
00:12:48,392 --> 00:12:51,019
And I'm one of Shershow's
oldest friends.
317
00:12:51,311 --> 00:12:53,438
And how amazing is it
318
00:12:53,730 --> 00:12:55,816
that we both fell in love
at the same time?
319
00:12:56,108 --> 00:12:59,236
You found Melinda and l...
320
00:12:59,528 --> 00:13:01,196
I found Derek.
321
00:13:01,488 --> 00:13:03,490
Sing it, bitch!
Whoo!
322
00:13:03,782 --> 00:13:06,618
Magical night.
323
00:13:06,910 --> 00:13:10,080
So congratulations,
Melinda and Shershow.
324
00:13:10,372 --> 00:13:11,915
You have found each other,
325
00:13:12,207 --> 00:13:14,001
and now you will never
have to pretend
326
00:13:14,293 --> 00:13:15,502
to be something that you're not.
327
00:13:17,337 --> 00:13:19,256
So let's raise our glasses...
Going down.
328
00:13:21,842 --> 00:13:23,635
Classic Shershow.
That's a nipple.
329
00:13:26,471 --> 00:13:28,473
Oh.
Oh, rough night for Pen.
330
00:13:28,765 --> 00:13:31,018
Oh, poor girl. She rode
that thing like a bobsled.
331
00:13:31,310 --> 00:13:32,519
Ooh.
Yeah.
332
00:13:32,811 --> 00:13:34,980
I'd invite you in,
but Brad made a promise
333
00:13:35,272 --> 00:13:36,940
to our hotel room
that I gotta help him keep.
334
00:13:37,232 --> 00:13:39,735
That's all right. Go on.
I'm fine on my own.
335
00:13:41,987 --> 00:13:44,406
Oh, boy.
336
00:14:02,591 --> 00:14:05,260
Hello?
Housekeeping?
337
00:14:05,552 --> 00:14:07,846
Can you come back later?
338
00:14:08,889 --> 00:14:11,475
I'm about to have sex.
339
00:14:13,018 --> 00:14:14,936
Yeah.
Gracias.
340
00:14:25,113 --> 00:14:26,531
Hey, how'd the rest
of your night go?
341
00:14:26,823 --> 00:14:28,200
Oh, didn't do much.
342
00:14:28,492 --> 00:14:30,660
Just went to bed.
343
00:14:30,952 --> 00:14:32,788
Oh, yeah?
Yep.
344
00:14:33,080 --> 00:14:35,499
And Tiftani was in that bed,
and we had sex.
345
00:14:35,791 --> 00:14:38,168
Busted.
Well, you know
346
00:14:38,460 --> 00:14:40,545
how I love
great public speakers.
347
00:14:40,837 --> 00:14:43,090
And you, you were
a fantastic wingman.
348
00:14:43,382 --> 00:14:45,425
Thank you.
This me-and-you-friends thing
349
00:14:45,717 --> 00:14:46,843
is kind of nice.
350
00:14:47,135 --> 00:14:48,595
Yeah, it is nice.
351
00:14:48,887 --> 00:14:50,847
You know what else was nice?
Tiffani was doing this thing...
352
00:14:51,139 --> 00:14:52,474
All right.
353
00:14:52,766 --> 00:14:53,725
Tell Max and Brad.
354
00:14:54,017 --> 00:14:56,269
Ugh.
Then you grabbed the mic
355
00:14:56,561 --> 00:14:56,895
and did 15 minutes of stand-up
356
00:14:57,938 --> 00:14:59,773
about the difterence
between men and women.
357
00:15:00,065 --> 00:15:02,609
At least I didn't bust out
my Korean Grandma.
358
00:15:04,361 --> 00:15:06,613
Grandma Geisha?
She came out.
359
00:15:06,905 --> 00:15:08,907
Hey, guys, did you get
our paperless post invitation?
360
00:15:09,199 --> 00:15:10,409
Oh, you mean
to your weird re-wedding
361
00:15:10,700 --> 00:15:12,452
after Shershow's real wedding?
Yeah.
362
00:15:12,744 --> 00:15:13,954
Yeah. Just make sure you RSVP.
363
00:15:14,246 --> 00:15:15,247
So I can get an exact
head count.
364
00:15:15,539 --> 00:15:17,332
There's only six of us.
Yep.
365
00:15:17,624 --> 00:15:20,919
Just RSVP. Don't see
what the big problem is. Okay?
366
00:15:21,211 --> 00:15:23,338
At least you only act crazy
when you're drunk.
367
00:15:23,630 --> 00:15:26,675
Oh, my God.
Shershow is runaway grooming it.
368
00:15:26,967 --> 00:15:28,969
I wouldn't call that
running away.
369
00:15:29,261 --> 00:15:31,263
He's kind of more sauntering.
370
00:15:31,555 --> 00:15:32,848
He's the sauntering-away groom.
371
00:15:33,140 --> 00:15:35,308
Shershow, where are you going?
372
00:15:35,600 --> 00:15:38,812
I was just trying to see if
all the luggage fit in the car.
373
00:15:39,104 --> 00:15:40,814
Oh, nice try.
But what you said last night
374
00:15:41,106 --> 00:15:42,482
really freaked me out.
375
00:15:42,774 --> 00:15:44,651
I mean, I'm pretending
to be someone I'm not.
376
00:15:44,943 --> 00:15:47,404
I'm not this guy.
I'm Shershow.
377
00:15:47,696 --> 00:15:49,698
But you're not.
378
00:15:49,990 --> 00:15:53,660
You've got a job now
and a car with a hatchback.
379
00:15:53,952 --> 00:15:54,995
Yeah, it's pretty sweet, huh?
380
00:15:55,287 --> 00:15:56,872
It makes loading and unloading
a breeze.
381
00:15:57,164 --> 00:15:59,875
But we both know that I'm just
gonna end up screwing all this.
382
00:16:00,167 --> 00:16:02,752
I'm gonna oversleep some morning
where we have a big meeting,
383
00:16:03,044 --> 00:16:04,504
or they're gonna send me out
to get a party sub,
384
00:16:04,796 --> 00:16:06,590
and I'm just gonna come back
with a python.
385
00:16:06,882 --> 00:16:09,259
Why would you do that?
Because I'm Shershow.
386
00:16:09,551 --> 00:16:11,636
I'm the type of guy
Who gets mustard on his shirt
387
00:16:11,928 --> 00:16:12,971
when I'm not even eating
mustard.
388
00:16:13,263 --> 00:16:15,056
I'm Shershow.
That's who I am.
389
00:16:15,348 --> 00:16:17,100
Not anymore you're not.
390
00:16:17,392 --> 00:16:18,768
You are Jason now.
391
00:16:19,060 --> 00:16:22,105
And you deserve an amazing girl
like Melinda.
392
00:16:22,397 --> 00:16:23,940
Really?
Yeah.
393
00:16:24,232 --> 00:16:25,901
Now let's go get you married.
394
00:16:26,193 --> 00:16:27,194
Okay.
Okay.
395
00:16:28,570 --> 00:16:29,654
Ooh, that's a heavy one.
Okay.
396
00:16:29,946 --> 00:16:31,072
Yeah.
397
00:16:46,379 --> 00:16:48,340
I can't believe
they made me sit back here.
398
00:16:50,008 --> 00:16:51,927
There's no such thing
as a wedding jinx.
399
00:16:58,892 --> 00:16:59,976
Ooh.
400
00:17:02,979 --> 00:17:03,939
That can't be good.
401
00:17:04,231 --> 00:17:05,357
Oh, come on.
402
00:17:05,649 --> 00:17:08,109
Don't go, don't go.
403
00:17:08,401 --> 00:17:09,361
This feels familiar.
404
00:17:09,653 --> 00:17:10,695
Oh.
405
00:17:10,987 --> 00:17:12,030
I gotta go talk to Melinda.
406
00:17:12,322 --> 00:17:13,990
No, you don't wanna do that.
407
00:17:14,282 --> 00:17:15,283
And she's doing it.
408
00:17:15,575 --> 00:17:18,161
In my experience,
409
00:17:18,453 --> 00:17:19,788
this is not gonna turn out well.
410
00:17:20,080 --> 00:17:21,331
Really?
Yeah.
411
00:17:21,623 --> 00:17:23,166
Should I go after her?
412
00:17:23,458 --> 00:17:26,753
It doesn't matter.
I'll stay.
413
00:17:27,045 --> 00:17:29,047
Melinda,
414
00:17:29,339 --> 00:17:30,799
look, don't do this.
415
00:17:31,091 --> 00:17:32,551
Okay, I know you're scared.
416
00:17:32,842 --> 00:17:34,219
You probably looked down
that aisle
417
00:17:34,511 --> 00:17:36,179
and saw your whole future
and it wasn't perfect,
418
00:17:36,471 --> 00:17:38,598
but that doesn't mean
it can't be great.
419
00:17:38,890 --> 00:17:40,225
Okay, don't do what I did.
420
00:17:40,517 --> 00:17:42,394
Or you'll wind up pretending
to be best friends
421
00:17:42,686 --> 00:17:45,689
with the guy who could've been
the love of your life.
422
00:17:45,981 --> 00:17:47,482
No, I wasn't running away.
423
00:17:47,774 --> 00:17:50,777
My bustier broke and my boobies
were just all over the place.
424
00:17:51,069 --> 00:17:53,488
Oh. Well, they look hot now.
425
00:17:53,780 --> 00:17:55,824
So I'm going to go.
426
00:17:56,116 --> 00:17:58,201
Hey. I just...
427
00:17:58,493 --> 00:18:00,245
wanted to make sure
everything was okay.
428
00:18:00,537 --> 00:18:02,205
Yeah, fine.
429
00:18:03,707 --> 00:18:05,542
I'll go now.
430
00:18:08,878 --> 00:18:10,422
I'm gonna need that.
431
00:18:10,714 --> 00:18:11,840
Yeah.
Thank you.
432
00:18:17,721 --> 00:18:21,224
"In your embrace,
my heart retreats.
433
00:18:21,516 --> 00:18:24,185
"Love, a force of beating time.
434
00:18:24,477 --> 00:18:26,813
Love, a war I cannot fight."
435
00:18:27,105 --> 00:18:28,815
Damn, man.
436
00:18:29,107 --> 00:18:32,193
That son of a bitch.
437
00:18:32,485 --> 00:18:34,696
Lost 20 bucks but it's worth it.
438
00:18:34,988 --> 00:18:36,281
"Because to sleep
is not to dream.
439
00:18:36,573 --> 00:18:37,115
"To sleep is just
to leave your touch.
440
00:18:38,158 --> 00:18:42,412
For a few hours and days,
I would rather stay awake."
441
00:18:42,704 --> 00:18:44,748
Jason, Melinda,
442
00:18:45,040 --> 00:18:47,626
I now pronounce you
husband and wife.
443
00:19:04,142 --> 00:19:08,063
So pretty intense convo
between you and Melinda.
444
00:19:08,355 --> 00:19:10,774
What? No. That?
I was just...
445
00:19:11,066 --> 00:19:12,275
I was saying anything
I could to get her
446
00:19:12,567 --> 00:19:13,818
to come back out to the wedding.
447
00:19:14,110 --> 00:19:15,612
I was this close
to knocking her over the head
448
00:19:15,904 --> 00:19:17,614
and walking her out
like Weekend At Bernie's style.
449
00:19:20,408 --> 00:19:21,785
Right, totally.
That's what I thought.
450
00:19:22,077 --> 00:19:23,161
Yeah.
Well, congrats on not being
451
00:19:24,204 --> 00:19:25,455
the wedding jinx anymore.
452
00:19:25,747 --> 00:19:27,123
Thanks.
453
00:19:28,708 --> 00:19:31,044
Wanna dance?
Yeah.
454
00:19:36,341 --> 00:19:39,511
Mm. You okay?
455
00:19:39,803 --> 00:19:42,430
Yeah. I'm not emotional
about Shershow.
456
00:19:42,722 --> 00:19:44,683
I'm emotional
because of your ceremony.
457
00:19:44,974 --> 00:19:46,351
It was genius
458
00:19:46,643 --> 00:19:47,185
to go Neruda after Sade
459
00:19:48,228 --> 00:19:49,729
after quotes
from dead grandparents.
460
00:19:50,021 --> 00:19:51,022
You nailed it.
461
00:19:51,314 --> 00:19:53,692
Penny, my job as a man
of the cloth
462
00:19:53,983 --> 00:19:55,443
is to create a bridge
463
00:19:55,735 --> 00:19:57,153
between the congregation
and the couple
464
00:19:57,445 --> 00:20:00,490
built on honesty
and mutual respect.
465
00:20:00,782 --> 00:20:03,076
Now give me that money, bitch!
466
00:20:07,247 --> 00:20:09,165
What's wrong?
467
00:20:09,457 --> 00:20:11,668
You gonna make me talk
about feelings?
468
00:20:11,960 --> 00:20:13,294
Fine.
469
00:20:15,004 --> 00:20:16,840
Blah, blah, blah,
you're a great girl.
470
00:20:17,132 --> 00:20:19,509
Blah, blah, blah,
you're gonna meet a great guy.
471
00:20:19,801 --> 00:20:23,555
Blah, blah, blah.
Until then, you got me.
472
00:20:23,847 --> 00:20:25,765
Let's dance.
Aw.
473
00:20:26,057 --> 00:20:27,434
You're my gay-fty.
474
00:20:27,726 --> 00:20:28,727
My gay safety.
475
00:20:29,018 --> 00:20:30,395
I got it.
Okay. I wasn't sure.
476
00:20:30,687 --> 00:20:32,397
Yeah.
All right.
477
00:20:34,190 --> 00:20:35,400
Babe, I thought about it,
478
00:20:35,692 --> 00:20:37,110
and I canceled the cake
and shrimp fountain.
479
00:20:37,402 --> 00:20:38,862
You were so close to having
a perfect wedding.
480
00:20:39,154 --> 00:20:40,572
Why'd you give it up?
481
00:20:40,864 --> 00:20:42,657
The fact that you were willing
to go along with me on this
482
00:20:42,949 --> 00:20:45,827
made me realize I don't need
the perfect wedding.
483
00:20:46,119 --> 00:20:47,495
I have the perfect husband.
Aw.
35632
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