All language subtitles for Happy.Endings.S01E12.1080p.BluRay.x264-YELLOWBiRD

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,710 --> 00:00:05,713 Yes, sir. Correct, sir. Absolutely, sir. 2 00:00:06,005 --> 00:00:07,965 Your bed's already made, sir. 3 00:00:08,257 --> 00:00:09,926 You turning this place into a bed and breakfast? 4 00:00:10,218 --> 00:00:11,469 My pops is coming into town. 5 00:00:11,761 --> 00:00:13,387 Oh. 6 00:00:13,679 --> 00:00:15,348 Is he still the most terrifying dad 7 00:00:15,640 --> 00:00:16,682 on the face of the planet? Mm-hm. 8 00:00:16,974 --> 00:00:18,768 Guys, he's not that scary. 9 00:00:19,060 --> 00:00:20,937 He pulled a sword on me at your wedding. 10 00:00:21,229 --> 00:00:23,272 First of all, he was in full military dress. 11 00:00:23,564 --> 00:00:25,775 Second, you drove my grandma's Rascal into a pool. 12 00:00:26,067 --> 00:00:28,986 Okay, your grandma and I were going shot for shot, and I was... 13 00:00:29,278 --> 00:00:31,614 Ugh! You know that guy Jeremy that I thought was amazing? 14 00:00:31,906 --> 00:00:32,865 He just pexted me. 15 00:00:33,157 --> 00:00:34,992 Hmm? Penis text. 16 00:00:35,284 --> 00:00:38,037 Oh, oh, oh. Whoa, that is small. 17 00:00:38,329 --> 00:00:40,831 Alex and I are in such a boy slump. 18 00:00:41,123 --> 00:00:43,000 Whoa, whoa, back up. I am not in a slump. 19 00:00:43,292 --> 00:00:44,502 I'm not even trying to date anyone. 20 00:00:44,794 --> 00:00:46,754 Girl slumps do not exist. 21 00:00:47,046 --> 00:00:48,714 Wanna know foolproof way for a girl to break a slump? 22 00:00:49,006 --> 00:00:50,299 Step one, decide to have sex. 23 00:00:50,591 --> 00:00:52,718 Step two, have some sex. 24 00:00:53,010 --> 00:00:55,179 Oh, women be shopping, women be shopping. 25 00:00:55,471 --> 00:00:57,515 They do. It's not about intercourse. 26 00:00:57,807 --> 00:00:59,934 It's about meeting someone who is cool and nice, 27 00:01:00,226 --> 00:01:02,478 and if intercourse happens to take place, no complaints. 28 00:01:02,770 --> 00:01:05,439 Maybe you're in a slump because you use the word "intercourse." 29 00:01:05,731 --> 00:01:07,275 Wanna know what Jane calls intercourse? 30 00:01:07,567 --> 00:01:09,151 No. Doing the straight up... 31 00:01:09,443 --> 00:01:11,445 Beep! 32 00:01:14,615 --> 00:01:16,993 ...In sexy time valley. Ugh! 33 00:01:17,285 --> 00:01:19,328 Really? Do you want me to pext him back? 34 00:01:19,620 --> 00:01:20,079 If you're gonna do that, give it to Brad. 35 00:01:31,132 --> 00:01:32,675 Max, just calling to make sure 36 00:01:32,967 --> 00:01:34,468 you remember the toilet paper, the bread, 37 00:01:34,760 --> 00:01:36,137 and we're almost out of ketchup. 38 00:01:36,429 --> 00:01:37,388 I got none of that crap. 39 00:01:37,680 --> 00:01:40,016 But guess what I did get. 40 00:01:40,308 --> 00:01:44,061 Oh, no, he didn't. Oh, yes, he did. 41 00:01:44,353 --> 00:01:45,521 Dude, aren't we a little old for toys? 42 00:01:45,813 --> 00:01:47,023 On the box, it says "ages 8 and up." 43 00:01:47,315 --> 00:01:48,566 That's us. I work all day. 44 00:01:48,858 --> 00:01:50,776 I buy all the groceries. I do all the cooking. 45 00:01:51,068 --> 00:01:52,069 And I appreciate that. 46 00:01:52,361 --> 00:01:53,321 You're like my mom, but hotter. 47 00:01:53,613 --> 00:01:54,655 Come on, man, I was really counting 48 00:01:54,947 --> 00:01:55,906 on that toilet paper. 49 00:01:56,198 --> 00:01:57,408 Well, then, why don't you clean 50 00:01:57,700 --> 00:02:00,244 your Charlie Sheen with this? 51 00:02:05,499 --> 00:02:07,001 My turn. 52 00:02:10,755 --> 00:02:13,382 What? What? I'm out of bullets! 53 00:02:13,674 --> 00:02:15,551 I'm out of bullets too! What do we do? 54 00:02:15,843 --> 00:02:17,303 We call that homeless Swede down the block 55 00:02:17,595 --> 00:02:18,721 and tell him to be our ammo jockey! 56 00:02:20,181 --> 00:02:21,474 We could just pick them up off the TV. 57 00:02:21,766 --> 00:02:23,267 Yeah, I don't want Gunther in my house. 58 00:02:23,559 --> 00:02:24,143 So, what do you wanna do with your dad tonight? 59 00:02:25,186 --> 00:02:26,395 He's got to go bed early. 60 00:02:26,687 --> 00:02:27,146 He has to go to the hospital for some tests. 61 00:02:28,189 --> 00:02:30,941 What kind of tests? MRI, CAT scan, EKG. 62 00:02:31,233 --> 00:02:32,485 Routine stuff. Routine? 63 00:02:32,777 --> 00:02:33,861 Yeah, sure, no. 64 00:02:34,153 --> 00:02:35,404 My morning routine is a cup of coffee, 65 00:02:35,696 --> 00:02:38,282 a mammogram and a camera up my vagina. 66 00:02:38,574 --> 00:02:39,992 Are you sure everything is okay? Totally. 67 00:02:40,284 --> 00:02:41,786 I'm sure he would have talked to me. 68 00:02:42,078 --> 00:02:45,373 Really? I kind of feel like you don't talk that much. 69 00:02:45,665 --> 00:02:48,918 Seven-thirty. No, Scottie Pippen. 70 00:02:49,210 --> 00:02:50,878 I mean, more than just "What time is the Bulls game? 71 00:02:51,170 --> 00:02:53,172 Are you going? if you had to sleep with one Bull, who?" 72 00:02:53,464 --> 00:02:55,257 Okay, first of all, that's not what he asked me. 73 00:02:55,549 --> 00:02:57,760 But if he did, the answer is B.J. Armstrong. 74 00:02:58,052 --> 00:02:59,470 You don't get that name for nothing. 75 00:02:59,762 --> 00:03:01,430 Clean it up. What? His arms are strong. 76 00:03:01,722 --> 00:03:03,474 I'm just saying, he might be scared about these tests. 77 00:03:03,766 --> 00:03:05,017 I think, you should talk to him about it. 78 00:03:05,309 --> 00:03:06,852 Fine. if it'll make you feel better, 79 00:03:07,144 --> 00:03:08,187 I'll talk to him, 80 00:03:08,479 --> 00:03:09,939 if there's an opening. Great. 81 00:03:10,231 --> 00:03:11,732 And stop cleaning. The place looks great. 82 00:03:12,024 --> 00:03:13,442 Why you getting all Jane on me? 83 00:03:13,734 --> 00:03:15,236 Why do you putting your name in every sentence? 84 00:03:15,528 --> 00:03:16,570 Because that's how I Jane. 85 00:03:16,862 --> 00:03:18,155 No. 86 00:03:18,447 --> 00:03:22,576 Okay, my dad is always on time, so he should be here 87 00:03:22,868 --> 00:03:27,873 in approximately three, two, one. 88 00:03:32,670 --> 00:03:33,754 Sorry, I'm late. 89 00:03:34,046 --> 00:03:35,005 Hi, Francis. 90 00:03:36,173 --> 00:03:37,466 Uh. Hmm. 91 00:03:37,758 --> 00:03:38,926 Oh, bags. 92 00:03:39,218 --> 00:03:41,762 Okay, we are breaking the slump. 93 00:03:42,054 --> 00:03:43,180 I feel good about tonight. 94 00:03:43,472 --> 00:03:44,849 Excuse me, ladies. 95 00:03:45,141 --> 00:03:46,684 These ribs are from the gentleman 96 00:03:46,976 --> 00:03:48,728 across the bar. And I feel less good. 97 00:03:49,019 --> 00:03:50,563 Who sends over ribs? 98 00:03:50,855 --> 00:03:51,897 Turn this into a drinking game. 99 00:03:52,189 --> 00:03:53,315 We talk to as many guys as we can. 100 00:03:53,607 --> 00:03:55,401 First sign of creepiness, we take a shot. 101 00:03:55,693 --> 00:03:58,154 I love it. Yeah. Yeah. 102 00:03:58,446 --> 00:04:00,281 How about we retire to my apartment, 103 00:04:00,573 --> 00:04:02,616 where we can enjoy what French call sauvignon blanc? 104 00:04:04,201 --> 00:04:05,369 It's not sexist if it's racist. 105 00:04:05,661 --> 00:04:07,371 Then we can do what the French call 106 00:04:07,663 --> 00:04:08,247 the three-way sex. 107 00:04:09,290 --> 00:04:11,000 I'm always thinking about what's next for me... 108 00:04:11,292 --> 00:04:12,251 Sure. ...In the afterlife. 109 00:04:13,294 --> 00:04:16,172 Boom, boom, bing, bam. 110 00:04:17,548 --> 00:04:18,966 Sarah Palin, if she were black. 111 00:04:19,258 --> 00:04:20,551 You don't know what you're... Forget it. 112 00:04:20,843 --> 00:04:23,387 I'm getting a no from this side. A maybe? 113 00:04:25,931 --> 00:04:28,642 Wow, there are zero cool guys. 114 00:04:28,934 --> 00:04:31,270 Slump continues. I don't know. 115 00:04:31,562 --> 00:04:32,897 I'm kind of rethinking the rib guy. 116 00:04:33,189 --> 00:04:35,274 Do you need a wet nap? This is the way I eat them. 117 00:04:35,566 --> 00:04:38,778 I can't watch this. Take it down like a champ. 118 00:04:39,069 --> 00:04:42,490 So, Brad, here we all are. 119 00:04:42,782 --> 00:04:45,117 Great time to ask people how people are feeling 120 00:04:45,409 --> 00:04:48,245 about things that are happening. 121 00:04:48,537 --> 00:04:49,872 Mmm, uh, yeah, Dad. 122 00:04:50,164 --> 00:04:53,584 I wanted to ask you how you felt about 123 00:04:53,876 --> 00:04:55,461 that new '91 Bulls documentary. 124 00:04:55,753 --> 00:04:57,296 I very much enjoyed it. 125 00:04:57,588 --> 00:04:59,715 It's nice to go back to the days when basketball meant more 126 00:05:00,007 --> 00:05:01,217 than getting neck tattoos 127 00:05:01,509 --> 00:05:02,843 and shooting your pistol off in the club. 128 00:05:03,135 --> 00:05:04,887 Or passing around a Kardashian. What's that? 129 00:05:05,179 --> 00:05:08,182 - These girls on a sex tape... - So, Francis. 130 00:05:08,474 --> 00:05:10,684 Doctors are looking under the old hood tomorrow. 131 00:05:10,976 --> 00:05:13,145 How you feeling about that? You always worry a little bit. 132 00:05:13,437 --> 00:05:15,064 It's only natural. I'll be all right. 133 00:05:15,356 --> 00:05:16,607 Totally. 134 00:05:20,820 --> 00:05:21,987 Well, I'm gonna turn in. 135 00:05:22,279 --> 00:05:25,407 Got a busy day tomorrow. Jane. 136 00:05:25,699 --> 00:05:27,743 Good night. Bradley. 137 00:05:32,039 --> 00:05:33,499 What the hell was that? What? 138 00:05:33,791 --> 00:05:35,334 Didn't you see me making the opening gesture? 139 00:05:35,626 --> 00:05:36,919 Oh, that's what that was? 140 00:05:37,211 --> 00:05:38,921 I thought you were separating two boxing mice. 141 00:05:39,213 --> 00:05:41,674 That's what you thought this was? 142 00:05:41,966 --> 00:05:43,884 Oh, yeah, now, I see it. Yeah, the little white one? 143 00:05:44,176 --> 00:05:45,344 Yeah, and the brown guy over here with little boxing gloves. 144 00:05:47,888 --> 00:05:49,431 What's that one's name? Mice Tyson. 145 00:05:49,723 --> 00:05:50,766 Mice Tyson? 146 00:05:51,058 --> 00:05:53,185 So cute. I love them. 147 00:05:53,477 --> 00:05:55,062 Anyway, he gave you an opening. 148 00:05:55,354 --> 00:05:57,273 I mean, it was a clear shot. Why didn't you take it? 149 00:05:57,565 --> 00:05:59,358 My dad and I are fine. Have you ever said 150 00:05:59,650 --> 00:06:00,860 "I love you" to each other? 151 00:06:01,151 --> 00:06:02,319 We don't have to say it, 152 00:06:02,611 --> 00:06:04,196 because we show it by not saying it. 153 00:06:04,488 --> 00:06:07,700 Like how mountain ever say it to the sea, yet the sea knows? 154 00:06:07,992 --> 00:06:10,077 Do you ever think about these things before you say them or... 155 00:06:10,369 --> 00:06:12,288 Yeah, I do. I think, wow, that's brilliant. 156 00:06:12,580 --> 00:06:13,956 I should say that out loud. 157 00:06:14,248 --> 00:06:16,375 And then I say it out loud and it's spectacular. 158 00:06:16,667 --> 00:06:18,294 It exceeds my expectations. 159 00:06:19,628 --> 00:06:20,713 Right. 160 00:06:21,005 --> 00:06:22,548 I'm drunk. 161 00:06:22,840 --> 00:06:23,841 Oh, tonight was a bust. Let's go. 162 00:06:24,133 --> 00:06:25,175 I DVR'd that new weight loss show 163 00:06:25,467 --> 00:06:26,969 for clairvoyants, Large Mediums. 164 00:06:27,261 --> 00:06:30,598 Whoa, pump the brakes, sister. Two gorgeous guys, incoming. 165 00:06:30,890 --> 00:06:34,226 Hello, kind sirs. 166 00:06:40,107 --> 00:06:41,734 Of course. They only speak gibberish. 167 00:06:42,026 --> 00:06:44,987 We finally meet super cute guys and they only speak Italian. 168 00:06:54,830 --> 00:06:57,207 Oh, my God, I speak a lot of Italian! 169 00:06:57,499 --> 00:06:58,792 Still gibberish. 170 00:07:02,379 --> 00:07:03,923 You guys don't say "I love you" to your dads? 171 00:07:04,214 --> 00:07:06,175 All the time. When I need money. 172 00:07:06,467 --> 00:07:07,718 Because Jane says I need to open up to my dad 173 00:07:08,010 --> 00:07:09,261 about feelings and stuff. 174 00:07:09,553 --> 00:07:11,013 If we're gonna have this emo conversation, 175 00:07:11,305 --> 00:07:12,348 I'm gonna need you to put on the hat. 176 00:07:12,640 --> 00:07:15,059 Oh, fine. 177 00:07:15,351 --> 00:07:18,103 There you go. 178 00:07:18,395 --> 00:07:19,647 Oh, buddy, look. 179 00:07:19,939 --> 00:07:21,106 If it's really a concern for you, 180 00:07:21,398 --> 00:07:22,399 just tell him that you love him. 181 00:07:22,691 --> 00:07:23,817 I mean, life is uncertain. 182 00:07:24,109 --> 00:07:25,361 One minute you're talking about your dad 183 00:07:25,653 --> 00:07:27,571 going into the hospital for some tests and stuff 184 00:07:27,863 --> 00:07:31,283 and the next minute, this happens. 185 00:07:31,575 --> 00:07:34,203 Oh! Come on, guys. 186 00:07:34,495 --> 00:07:35,955 Not my sex nose. 187 00:07:40,417 --> 00:07:42,044 Tests came back fine. 188 00:07:42,336 --> 00:07:43,712 You're lucky to have such a healthy father. 189 00:07:47,299 --> 00:07:49,677 That's great news. Thank you. 190 00:07:49,969 --> 00:07:51,720 Jane, I've been thinking about what you said, 191 00:07:52,012 --> 00:07:53,639 and I feel like this is the perfect opening 192 00:07:53,931 --> 00:07:54,890 for me to tell him I love him. 193 00:07:58,394 --> 00:08:00,145 You got to do it. 194 00:08:09,571 --> 00:08:11,198 I love you, Dad. 195 00:08:11,490 --> 00:08:12,866 Why are you saying that to me? 196 00:08:13,158 --> 00:08:14,535 You never said that to me before. 197 00:08:14,827 --> 00:08:16,286 Why you doing this with your chest, man? 198 00:08:16,578 --> 00:08:19,415 Are they gonna cut me open? I'm gonna... Am I gonna die? 199 00:08:19,707 --> 00:08:21,208 Am I gonna die? 200 00:08:21,500 --> 00:08:22,543 I can't die! 201 00:08:22,835 --> 00:08:24,044 I got stuff I got to do! Sir, lay down. 202 00:08:24,336 --> 00:08:25,879 Am I gonna die, doc? 203 00:08:30,801 --> 00:08:34,555 So I said "I love you" to my dad and it almost killed him. 204 00:08:34,847 --> 00:08:36,056 Never doing that again. 205 00:08:36,348 --> 00:08:38,183 He just had a panic attack. He's fine. 206 00:08:38,475 --> 00:08:40,728 It's good that you guys said I love you to each other. 207 00:08:41,020 --> 00:08:42,187 Yeah. 208 00:08:42,479 --> 00:08:44,189 Funny story, though. He never said it back to me. 209 00:08:44,481 --> 00:08:47,026 But it's okay. He's my dad. He's a really reserved guy. 210 00:08:47,317 --> 00:08:49,319 Good morning, party people! 211 00:08:49,611 --> 00:08:50,696 Huh? 212 00:08:51,905 --> 00:08:53,824 I feel amazing. 213 00:08:54,116 --> 00:08:56,285 I feel like I'm alive for the first time. 214 00:08:56,577 --> 00:08:57,828 And I got something to say. 215 00:08:58,120 --> 00:09:00,080 Brad? Yeah? 216 00:09:00,372 --> 00:09:03,459 I love this track suit. 217 00:09:03,751 --> 00:09:07,087 Man, it is so comfortable, so much dangle room. 218 00:09:07,379 --> 00:09:09,757 Look at that. Hey, look. Can I buy this from you? 219 00:09:10,049 --> 00:09:12,051 Dad, you can have it. You'd do that for me? 220 00:09:12,342 --> 00:09:13,302 Of course. 221 00:09:13,594 --> 00:09:19,391 Brad, I love this track suit so much. 222 00:09:19,683 --> 00:09:21,560 It just feels so good. You know what I want to do? 223 00:09:22,603 --> 00:09:25,314 Some racketeering? I want to live. 224 00:09:25,606 --> 00:09:26,899 Okay. Come on. 225 00:09:27,191 --> 00:09:28,650 Let's go get jiggy with stuft. 226 00:09:28,942 --> 00:09:31,779 Now I'm gonna go upstairs, throw away my non-track suits 227 00:09:32,071 --> 00:09:33,197 because this is my new look. 228 00:09:33,489 --> 00:09:34,448 We gonna go get crunk. 229 00:09:34,740 --> 00:09:36,325 I'm getting crunk. 230 00:09:36,617 --> 00:09:38,827 Those are weird moves. 231 00:09:39,119 --> 00:09:42,372 See? He's opening up. 232 00:09:42,664 --> 00:09:44,541 Yeah, to track suits and '90s slang. 233 00:09:46,502 --> 00:09:49,463 Ugh, I am so hungover. 234 00:09:49,755 --> 00:09:51,757 Me too. And I'm like weirdly full. 235 00:09:52,049 --> 00:09:53,258 You ate a half slab of ribs last night 236 00:09:53,550 --> 00:09:54,718 and chased it with a full slab. 237 00:09:55,010 --> 00:09:58,263 You busted out fluent Italian. I did, didn't I? 238 00:10:08,732 --> 00:10:10,818 I mean, you did spend that semester in Florence. 239 00:10:11,110 --> 00:10:12,903 Maybe some of that Italian actually sunk in. 240 00:10:13,195 --> 00:10:16,490 Ah, those sweet Chianti-soaked nights 241 00:10:16,782 --> 00:10:18,033 strolling the banks of the Arno, 242 00:10:18,325 --> 00:10:20,744 meeting amazing people from all over the Big Ten. 243 00:10:21,036 --> 00:10:22,955 All right. Stop bragging. If I could speak it last night, 244 00:10:23,247 --> 00:10:25,082 why don't I understand any of this? 245 00:10:27,876 --> 00:10:29,044 I mean, it's like a mystery. 246 00:10:29,336 --> 00:10:32,047 Chinese, but it's Italian. Yeah. 247 00:10:32,339 --> 00:10:33,841 I mean, what's different from last night? 248 00:10:34,133 --> 00:10:35,259 I don't know, but I got to figure it out 249 00:10:35,551 --> 00:10:36,885 because I really like this guy. 250 00:10:37,177 --> 00:10:39,221 I feel like you say that a lot. I mean, what changed? 251 00:10:39,513 --> 00:10:41,557 I'm still the same old me. I'm just not hammered. 252 00:10:41,849 --> 00:10:43,350 Yep, that's it. 253 00:10:43,642 --> 00:10:44,810 Can we get a round of mimosas, please? 254 00:10:45,102 --> 00:10:46,687 Oh, come on. Okay, that sounds cool. 255 00:10:56,864 --> 00:10:59,074 Mmm. Okay, ciao is hello. 256 00:10:59,366 --> 00:11:00,784 Pennisima is Little Penny. 257 00:11:01,076 --> 00:11:02,286 That's all I got. Drink! 258 00:11:03,996 --> 00:11:05,122 Fast service. Yes. 259 00:11:05,414 --> 00:11:06,373 I love her. They're quick. 260 00:11:06,665 --> 00:11:08,625 So sweet. So cute. So pretty. 261 00:11:13,046 --> 00:11:15,215 Ma'am! 262 00:11:26,226 --> 00:11:28,520 "Hello, Penny. 263 00:11:28,812 --> 00:11:31,732 "Please meet us at the same time and place tonight. 264 00:11:32,024 --> 00:11:34,443 Bring your friend." 265 00:11:34,735 --> 00:11:37,404 Oh, my God. When I get drunk, I speak Italian. 266 00:11:37,696 --> 00:11:41,408 Oh, my God. When I get drunk, I eat ribs! 267 00:11:41,700 --> 00:11:43,994 So did you have fun last night? Yeah, sort of. 268 00:11:44,286 --> 00:11:45,913 Hey, now let's talk to some women. 269 00:11:46,205 --> 00:11:47,623 You know, trying to have sex with them. 270 00:11:47,915 --> 00:11:49,082 Okay. Not my thing, but okay. 271 00:11:49,374 --> 00:11:50,709 Dad, please stop. Ever since your mom left, 272 00:11:51,752 --> 00:11:53,212 man, I'm super horny. 273 00:11:53,503 --> 00:11:55,214 It make it hard to drive. 274 00:11:55,505 --> 00:11:56,632 Oh, God. 275 00:11:56,924 --> 00:11:58,634 It was fine when he never said he loved anything. 276 00:11:58,926 --> 00:12:01,136 But last night, he was dropping I bombs all over the place. 277 00:12:01,428 --> 00:12:02,387 Not one of them hit me. 278 00:12:02,679 --> 00:12:07,059 Brad, I really love your friends. 279 00:12:08,602 --> 00:12:09,937 My new dad. It stings a bit. 280 00:12:10,229 --> 00:12:11,480 I know, but I bet if you say it to him again, 281 00:12:11,772 --> 00:12:12,856 he'll say it right back. 282 00:12:13,148 --> 00:12:14,691 You just need to create the right moment. 283 00:12:14,983 --> 00:12:16,443 You know what? You should take the day off work 284 00:12:16,735 --> 00:12:18,445 and you should take him on a dad date. 285 00:12:18,737 --> 00:12:21,114 Okay, but I'm not calling it that. 286 00:12:21,406 --> 00:12:23,283 "Dad date" sounds like a terrible Michael Keaton movie. 287 00:12:23,575 --> 00:12:25,202 Or an amazing Ted Danson movie. 288 00:12:45,264 --> 00:12:46,598 Hey, what are you doing? 289 00:12:48,850 --> 00:12:50,894 Hey, come here. Come back here. 290 00:12:59,361 --> 00:13:00,612 Damn. 291 00:13:03,657 --> 00:13:04,616 Come back! 292 00:13:09,329 --> 00:13:12,332 Dad, that was the best day ever. I loved everything about it. 293 00:13:12,624 --> 00:13:14,960 Anything or anyone in particular that you loved today? 294 00:13:15,252 --> 00:13:17,546 Nope. Tip to tail, I loved the day. 295 00:13:17,838 --> 00:13:19,715 Here you go, gentlemen. Oh, no, look at this. 296 00:13:20,007 --> 00:13:21,550 He brought us the lobster mash 297 00:13:21,842 --> 00:13:23,093 and the creamed spinach. 298 00:13:23,385 --> 00:13:25,887 This guy, come here, bring it in, bring it in. 299 00:13:27,389 --> 00:13:29,099 Really? What? 300 00:13:29,391 --> 00:13:30,767 You hugging waiters now? Brad. 301 00:13:31,059 --> 00:13:33,061 Look, Dad. I love the new Fran, 302 00:13:33,353 --> 00:13:34,396 but it kind of bothers me 303 00:13:34,688 --> 00:13:35,814 that the new Fran loves everything 304 00:13:36,106 --> 00:13:37,149 and everyone except me. 305 00:13:37,441 --> 00:13:38,859 It was super tough to say "I love you," 306 00:13:39,151 --> 00:13:40,485 and you didn't say it back. 307 00:13:40,777 --> 00:13:42,612 In my defense, I thought I was having a heart attack. 308 00:13:42,904 --> 00:13:45,115 Besides, you know how I feel about you. 309 00:13:45,407 --> 00:13:46,783 I mean, what says "I love you" 310 00:13:47,075 --> 00:13:47,826 more than setting off firecrackers? 311 00:13:48,869 --> 00:13:50,996 Saying "I love you"? Okay, fine. 312 00:13:51,288 --> 00:13:53,582 Let's try it again. Fine. 313 00:13:55,167 --> 00:13:57,586 Dad, I love you. 314 00:13:59,212 --> 00:14:01,173 Dad? Daddy? 315 00:14:01,465 --> 00:14:03,342 Dad, it's okay. I'm emotional too. 316 00:14:03,633 --> 00:14:04,843 Wow. 317 00:14:05,135 --> 00:14:06,511 I don't think I've ever seen you cry before. 318 00:14:06,803 --> 00:14:08,305 This is a huge breakthrough. 319 00:14:08,597 --> 00:14:10,390 I know you like the steak. That's why I brought you here. 320 00:14:10,682 --> 00:14:12,476 Oh, my God. Sir? It's good stea... 321 00:14:15,562 --> 00:14:16,813 Thank God. 322 00:14:17,105 --> 00:14:18,482 You saved my life. 323 00:14:18,774 --> 00:14:19,858 No, no. Don't move those big strong arms. 324 00:14:20,901 --> 00:14:22,861 Bring it in, bring it in. 325 00:14:23,153 --> 00:14:25,364 Hey! Get your own damned daddy. 326 00:14:32,954 --> 00:14:34,623 Penny's out with the Italians again. 327 00:14:34,915 --> 00:14:37,209 They didn't want you to go? I don't think they like me. 328 00:14:40,629 --> 00:14:42,923 Hey, I'm Mario! I'm gonna win. 329 00:14:45,467 --> 00:14:47,969 Why would I wanna be there if I can't understand anything? 330 00:14:48,261 --> 00:14:50,305 You said the same thing when you tried to drop out of Grade 8. 331 00:14:50,597 --> 00:14:51,890 Guys, can we focus on what's important, 332 00:14:52,933 --> 00:14:54,726 which is that I've run out of cool things to shoot? 333 00:14:55,018 --> 00:14:57,938 Sixteen, 17, 18, 19... 334 00:14:58,230 --> 00:15:00,565 No! No, teen. 335 00:15:00,857 --> 00:15:04,319 Hmm. Thanks. Twenty. 336 00:15:04,611 --> 00:15:06,154 I can't get myself up. Dave. 337 00:15:06,446 --> 00:15:07,406 I can't do it! You can do it. 338 00:15:08,824 --> 00:15:10,283 Going down! 339 00:15:10,575 --> 00:15:11,743 Okay, aren't you guys a little old 340 00:15:12,035 --> 00:15:14,538 to be playing with toys? Honestly? 341 00:15:16,665 --> 00:15:18,291 Oh, you got to be kidding me. 342 00:15:18,583 --> 00:15:20,085 There's a total chotch across the street, 343 00:15:20,377 --> 00:15:21,920 sniffing a hot girl's shoe. 344 00:15:22,212 --> 00:15:24,047 That's Avi from the vitamin store. 345 00:15:24,339 --> 00:15:27,050 Notice the candles and the mini kimono? 346 00:15:27,342 --> 00:15:28,760 Yeah, he thinks of everything. 347 00:15:29,052 --> 00:15:31,596 Gentlemen, we have our next target. 348 00:15:36,351 --> 00:15:37,436 Hi. 349 00:15:40,605 --> 00:15:42,357 Hmm. 350 00:15:50,991 --> 00:15:52,159 Hmm-mm. Hmm-mm. 351 00:15:52,451 --> 00:15:53,410 Penny. 352 00:16:00,083 --> 00:16:09,634 Mmm. 353 00:16:29,112 --> 00:16:30,405 Mm. Mmm-hm. 354 00:16:30,697 --> 00:16:32,282 Penny... 355 00:16:47,088 --> 00:16:48,882 I can't believe we've been shooting at mini-kimono guy 356 00:16:49,174 --> 00:16:50,759 for an hour and a half and we still haven't hit him. 357 00:16:51,051 --> 00:16:53,303 I can't believe he's been having sex an hour and a half. 358 00:16:53,595 --> 00:16:55,680 The window is closing. He's closing his window! 359 00:16:55,972 --> 00:16:57,349 We're missing our shot. 360 00:16:57,641 --> 00:16:59,559 Guess that's it. There's one thing left to do. 361 00:16:59,851 --> 00:17:01,436 Clean the house? Watch Large Mediums? 362 00:17:01,728 --> 00:17:03,188 No. 363 00:17:03,480 --> 00:17:04,439 Another thing. 364 00:17:08,610 --> 00:17:11,196 God, I love that guy. 365 00:17:11,488 --> 00:17:13,532 - He's gonna get caught. - No way. 366 00:17:13,823 --> 00:17:15,825 My boy Max is super stealthy. 367 00:17:17,827 --> 00:17:20,247 Pull down the window. 368 00:17:21,998 --> 00:17:23,959 - Pull it down. - Now it's go time. 369 00:17:24,251 --> 00:17:26,127 Yes. All right, Dave. This is it. 370 00:17:26,419 --> 00:17:27,879 Take the shot. 371 00:17:56,241 --> 00:17:58,118 And we're going to prison. 372 00:18:51,212 --> 00:18:52,964 Oh, my... 373 00:18:53,256 --> 00:18:54,758 This was an incredible trip. 374 00:18:55,050 --> 00:18:57,344 Saw Millennium Park, did a little shopping, 375 00:18:57,636 --> 00:19:00,305 almost died twice. Yup. 376 00:19:00,597 --> 00:19:02,515 You know, this experience made me realize 377 00:19:02,807 --> 00:19:05,477 that I need to live a little. Sure do. 378 00:19:05,769 --> 00:19:08,313 Maybe not quite this much. Absolutely. 379 00:19:08,605 --> 00:19:11,941 It also made me realize I need to say "I love you" 380 00:19:12,233 --> 00:19:14,361 to my son. 381 00:19:14,653 --> 00:19:16,196 Aw. Yes. 382 00:19:16,488 --> 00:19:19,157 Shucks. Oh, I'm gonna leave you two. 383 00:19:22,661 --> 00:19:23,787 That should hold her for a while. 384 00:19:24,079 --> 00:19:25,246 Good. Yeah. 385 00:19:25,538 --> 00:19:26,581 You know, I really do love you. 386 00:19:26,873 --> 00:19:28,708 Just saying, it isn't my thing. 387 00:19:29,000 --> 00:19:31,836 That's cool. My thing is gonna be track suits 388 00:19:32,128 --> 00:19:35,131 and light to moderate strip clubbing. 389 00:19:35,423 --> 00:19:36,758 Less cool. 390 00:19:37,050 --> 00:19:39,010 Bring it in, bring it in. 391 00:19:41,763 --> 00:19:43,264 - Oh, my God, oh, my God. - This is bad. 392 00:19:45,100 --> 00:19:47,185 - Okay. - No. There's Mrs. Klein. 393 00:19:47,477 --> 00:19:48,186 Oh, my God. Did Mrs. Klein get hurt? 394 00:19:49,229 --> 00:19:50,522 No one was hurt in the fire. 395 00:19:50,814 --> 00:19:52,315 She fell and shattered her pelvis six days ago. 396 00:19:52,607 --> 00:19:53,817 In fact, if it wasn't for the fire, 397 00:19:54,109 --> 00:19:56,069 the poor thing would have starved to death. 398 00:19:58,571 --> 00:19:59,572 Wow. 399 00:19:59,864 --> 00:20:00,907 Gotta be a lesson here. 400 00:20:01,199 --> 00:20:02,701 Yeah. You were right. 401 00:20:02,992 --> 00:20:04,202 We're too old to be playing with toys. 402 00:20:04,494 --> 00:20:06,287 No, man. We're kind of heroes here. 403 00:20:06,579 --> 00:20:07,872 AVl: My mini kimono! 404 00:20:08,164 --> 00:20:10,291 It's ruined! It's ruined! 405 00:20:10,583 --> 00:20:11,918 Check that. We're superheroes. 406 00:20:12,210 --> 00:20:13,169 Tri-five. 407 00:20:16,172 --> 00:20:18,925 How's it going? I'm Max. Hey, all right. 408 00:20:19,217 --> 00:20:22,387 You guys are doing good work, doing the Lord's work. 409 00:20:22,679 --> 00:20:24,264 Anybody want to get a drink after? 410 00:20:24,556 --> 00:20:25,682 Rosalita's? 411 00:20:25,974 --> 00:20:27,684 Hey, that hose looks heavy. 412 00:20:30,437 --> 00:20:32,272 Ooh, the doctor is in. 413 00:20:34,274 --> 00:20:37,485 I just brewed up a batch of some pomegranate kombucha. 414 00:20:37,777 --> 00:20:39,571 Oh, don't mind if I do. 415 00:20:39,863 --> 00:20:42,198 You know, so glad that we met at the vitamin store. 416 00:20:42,490 --> 00:20:44,909 Tell me, what's your favorite supplement? 417 00:20:45,201 --> 00:20:47,495 Mm, well, if I had to pick just one... 418 00:20:47,787 --> 00:20:50,498 Oh, yeah? ...I'd say vitamin D. 419 00:20:50,790 --> 00:20:51,916 Mm, good choice. 420 00:20:52,208 --> 00:20:53,668 But if I had to pick another one on the list, 421 00:20:53,960 --> 00:20:57,547 I'd definitely say Vitamin Sex. 422 00:20:57,839 --> 00:20:59,966 Ooh, I take that one daily. Ooh, yes. 423 00:21:00,258 --> 00:21:01,217 Let's crank up some Enya. 424 00:21:01,509 --> 00:21:02,677 Hurry back. 425 00:21:05,555 --> 00:21:07,348 See you in hell, Avi. 426 00:21:14,522 --> 00:21:16,399 Oh, yeah. Right in the sex nose. 31034

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.