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1
00:00:02,335 --> 00:00:03,878
Guess what came
in the mail today.
2
00:00:04,170 --> 00:00:06,756
"Penalty of Death 2:
Excuse Me While You Die."
3
00:00:07,048 --> 00:00:08,341
Ha, ha. Pre-order.
No, no, no.
4
00:00:08,633 --> 00:00:10,092
No.
Will not say that.
5
00:00:10,384 --> 00:00:13,471
There's this new guy, Franklin,
who started working with me.
6
00:00:13,763 --> 00:00:15,932
Think you guys would be perfect
for each other.
7
00:00:16,224 --> 00:00:19,101
Look at Brad, being my pimp.
Yeah.
8
00:00:19,393 --> 00:00:22,813
Yeah, give him my number.
Brew crew, right here.
9
00:00:24,690 --> 00:00:27,693
Uh, dude, you're dripping stuff
on my stuff.
10
00:00:27,985 --> 00:00:30,446
House rule: if you don't unpack,
it becomes furniture.
11
00:00:30,738 --> 00:00:34,158
You're gonna just spill
pico de gallo all over Jordan?
12
00:00:34,450 --> 00:00:36,827
That's disrespect.
Respect would be hanging that.
13
00:00:37,119 --> 00:00:38,204
It's time to unpack, bro.
14
00:00:38,496 --> 00:00:40,581
You've been here
for like three months.
15
00:00:40,873 --> 00:00:43,292
Dude, that's my T-shirt
that you're using as a napkin.
16
00:00:43,584 --> 00:00:44,835
Are you sure?
Yeah.
17
00:00:45,127 --> 00:00:47,255
Not a napkin? I thought
our napkins had V-necks.
18
00:00:47,547 --> 00:00:49,215
No.
19
00:00:49,507 --> 00:00:51,342
Why do I live here?
You don't understand.
20
00:00:51,634 --> 00:00:53,302
I am terrified.
21
00:00:53,594 --> 00:00:55,346
Penny, you don't need
to do this.
22
00:00:55,638 --> 00:00:58,724
Guys, I have an announcement.
I've come to say goodbye.
23
00:00:59,016 --> 00:01:00,851
I've been making
some major life choices
24
00:01:01,143 --> 00:01:02,812
and I've decided
to leave Chicago.
25
00:01:03,104 --> 00:01:04,105
Bye.
What's going on?
26
00:01:04,397 --> 00:01:06,440
A break-in in her neighborhood.
27
00:01:06,732 --> 00:01:08,276
She's moving back
with her parents.
28
00:01:08,568 --> 00:01:10,570
Just until there's
no more crime in America.
29
00:01:10,861 --> 00:01:12,154
Or do what I did in college.
30
00:01:12,446 --> 00:01:15,032
Hook up with girls and
call it a phase? What?
31
00:01:15,324 --> 00:01:17,868
It was a phase.
Long phase.
32
00:01:18,160 --> 00:01:21,622
What I'm talking about
is taking a self-defense class.
33
00:01:21,914 --> 00:01:23,749
It's incredibly empowering.
34
00:01:24,041 --> 00:01:26,627
You could benefit from learning
to stand up for yourself.
35
00:01:26,919 --> 00:01:28,296
She's right, Pen.
No offense.
36
00:01:28,588 --> 00:01:31,257
But you tend to shy away
from confrontation.
37
00:01:32,967 --> 00:01:36,012
Oh, Penny,
what did they do to your car?
38
00:01:39,640 --> 00:01:41,225
Could I get 2 back?
Sure.
39
00:01:41,517 --> 00:01:45,313
In my defense, I do tend
to shy away from confrontation.
40
00:01:45,605 --> 00:01:47,273
Oh. Hmm.
41
00:01:57,450 --> 00:01:59,702
Brad thinks it's fun
to play a video game
42
00:01:59,994 --> 00:02:01,579
where he rips a wizard limb
from limb,
43
00:02:01,871 --> 00:02:03,831
but I'm the freak
for watching SVU.
44
00:02:04,123 --> 00:02:05,499
Totally. I hate that...
45
00:02:05,791 --> 00:02:06,751
Hee-yah!
46
00:02:07,043 --> 00:02:08,461
And you have been disarmed.
47
00:02:08,753 --> 00:02:10,212
What was that?
I took your advice.
48
00:02:10,504 --> 00:02:11,714
I've been taking krav maga.
49
00:02:12,006 --> 00:02:13,924
It's this hardcore
Israeli martial art.
50
00:02:14,216 --> 00:02:15,426
It is the best.
51
00:02:15,718 --> 00:02:17,678
I have never felt
more confident, more safe,
52
00:02:17,970 --> 00:02:21,265
and I've really developed
a killer instinct.
53
00:02:21,557 --> 00:02:23,351
That's great, sweetie.
54
00:02:23,643 --> 00:02:25,811
Maybe I'll tag along sometime.
You should!
55
00:02:26,103 --> 00:02:27,730
But be warned,
in just four sessions,
56
00:02:28,022 --> 00:02:29,732
mild-mannered Chicagoan
Penny Hartz
57
00:02:30,024 --> 00:02:34,445
has turned into Israeli angel
of vengeance Shira Abramowitz.
58
00:02:34,737 --> 00:02:37,657
Bam! Take that
to the West Bank, sucka!
59
00:02:39,784 --> 00:02:42,995
So is Shira paying? Is that...?
No, no, no.
60
00:02:43,287 --> 00:02:45,206
Capture that baby
and rip its fingers off.
61
00:02:45,498 --> 00:02:48,334
Ho-ho, it's spewing rubies.
I know, right? Ha, ha, ha.
62
00:02:48,626 --> 00:02:50,294
Max, the shower burned me again.
63
00:02:50,586 --> 00:02:52,838
Dave, it's a shower, bud.
It's not that hard.
64
00:02:53,130 --> 00:02:55,216
Let the water run
for six seconds, jump in.
65
00:02:55,508 --> 00:02:57,885
You got at least 30 sec
of decent, temperate water.
66
00:02:58,177 --> 00:03:00,304
Quarter-turn yourself
to avoid the rust blast.
67
00:03:00,596 --> 00:03:02,765
Go back in
for another 30 seconds.
68
00:03:03,057 --> 00:03:04,725
It's like he's never showered
before.
69
00:03:05,017 --> 00:03:07,019
I hate you.
70
00:03:07,311 --> 00:03:08,938
Hello?
Hi, Dave, how's it going?
71
00:03:09,230 --> 00:03:10,648
Hello, high voice.
72
00:03:10,940 --> 00:03:13,442
Either you're wearing
tight jeans or you have a mouse.
73
00:03:13,734 --> 00:03:16,320
Both. It was not easy getting
on this chair. Come over?
74
00:03:16,612 --> 00:03:18,572
I assumed I wasn't
on mouse patrol
75
00:03:18,864 --> 00:03:20,574
since we broke up
and I moved out.
76
00:03:20,866 --> 00:03:22,743
Please. He's settling in
for the long haul.
77
00:03:23,035 --> 00:03:24,787
I saw him drag a meatball
under the couch.
78
00:03:25,079 --> 00:03:26,664
Can you get us our headsets?
79
00:03:26,956 --> 00:03:29,667
That kid Biju's online again
and he's talking a lot of trash.
80
00:03:29,959 --> 00:03:31,210
Okay, I'll be right over.
81
00:03:31,502 --> 00:03:33,212
Oh, so how'd your date go
with Franklin?
82
00:03:33,504 --> 00:03:34,964
Eh.
83
00:03:35,256 --> 00:03:38,509
I get in the supply closet,
then finally find the pens,
84
00:03:38,801 --> 00:03:41,178
and so it's like everyone
has one now, and...
85
00:03:41,470 --> 00:03:43,514
Good, good.
Did you drive here?
86
00:03:43,806 --> 00:03:45,516
Yeah. Do you wanna go
for a drive or...
87
00:03:45,808 --> 00:03:47,935
No, I was gonna tell you
to order more drinks,
88
00:03:48,227 --> 00:03:49,687
then ride your car off a cliff.
89
00:03:49,979 --> 00:03:51,647
Thought you would have had
a good time.
90
00:03:51,939 --> 00:03:53,357
You're both...
We're both what?
91
00:03:53,649 --> 00:03:56,485
Super cool dudes.
Pause.
92
00:03:56,777 --> 00:03:58,738
You were gonna say gay.
Uh-uh.
93
00:03:59,029 --> 00:04:00,406
It all makes sense now.
94
00:04:00,698 --> 00:04:02,825
You, my friend, are a "gaycist."
What?
95
00:04:03,117 --> 00:04:04,577
You think all gays are the same.
96
00:04:04,869 --> 00:04:07,246
You think because Franklin
and I are friends of Elton
97
00:04:07,538 --> 00:04:09,665
we'll move to Vermont,
start selling antiques?
98
00:04:09,957 --> 00:04:12,668
No, I did not say that.
Un-pause.
99
00:04:12,960 --> 00:04:15,504
Relax, it's fine,
I'm just messing with you.
100
00:04:15,796 --> 00:04:17,506
Some parts of the stereotype
are true.
101
00:04:17,798 --> 00:04:20,843
I mean, we did have raging sex
in a bus terminal.
102
00:04:21,135 --> 00:04:22,762
Ha, ha. Really?
Pause. No!
103
00:04:23,053 --> 00:04:25,765
Play date suspended
on account of your "gaycism."
104
00:04:26,056 --> 00:04:29,226
We're not even gonna make prank calls.
Aw, man.
105
00:04:29,518 --> 00:04:30,936
Okay, one.
Ha, ha.
106
00:04:31,228 --> 00:04:32,938
Just follow my lead, Jane.
107
00:04:33,230 --> 00:04:35,483
The key, I'll tell you now,
this one's for free,
108
00:04:35,775 --> 00:04:37,109
is stretching out your lats.
109
00:04:37,401 --> 00:04:39,779
It gives you a little
extra torque on your kill kicks.
110
00:04:40,070 --> 00:04:41,989
What I heard gives you
extra torque as well
111
00:04:42,281 --> 00:04:43,699
is knowing where your lats are.
112
00:04:43,991 --> 00:04:45,534
Okay, I know where my lats are.
113
00:04:45,826 --> 00:04:47,787
Uh-huh.
They're right...
114
00:04:48,078 --> 00:04:50,331
- here.
- Everyone, pay attention.
115
00:04:50,623 --> 00:04:53,209
My name is Yoni,
116
00:04:53,501 --> 00:04:57,338
which in Hebrew
is short for "God's gift."
117
00:04:57,630 --> 00:05:01,300
Unfortunately, in Sanskrit
it means "female genitals."
118
00:05:01,592 --> 00:05:05,262
Let's pair off and start with
some light disarming.
119
00:05:05,554 --> 00:05:07,598
Everyone, grab a rubber knife.
120
00:05:07,890 --> 00:05:08,974
Okay, baby girl,
121
00:05:09,266 --> 00:05:10,851
we're gonna take it
nice and easy.
122
00:05:11,143 --> 00:05:13,103
I'm just come at you
kind of half-speed.
123
00:05:13,395 --> 00:05:15,898
Here I go. Ow. Oh.
124
00:05:16,190 --> 00:05:18,067
Ow, ow, ow.
125
00:05:18,359 --> 00:05:20,778
Jane... Ow.
What the...? Ow!
126
00:05:21,070 --> 00:05:23,989
Ow, ow, ow! Jane, ow!
Nice work, girlies. Nice work.
127
00:05:24,281 --> 00:05:25,616
Okay, let's do it again.
128
00:05:25,908 --> 00:05:27,243
Up, up for Yoni, eh?
129
00:05:27,535 --> 00:05:30,162
Let's get moving.
I have a Lamaze class to teach.
130
00:05:31,956 --> 00:05:34,041
Are you sure that's a humane
mousetrap?
131
00:05:34,333 --> 00:05:37,670
Yup. Once we catch the fella,
we'll release him in the park
132
00:05:37,962 --> 00:05:40,297
where a homeless man
will barbecue him on a skewer.
133
00:05:40,589 --> 00:05:42,424
What?
You should get that fixed.
134
00:05:42,716 --> 00:05:45,636
It's a pain, but don't worry.
It's not a ghost. I had it checked.
135
00:05:45,928 --> 00:05:48,389
Good, I was just about to ask
if it was a ghost.
136
00:05:48,681 --> 00:05:49,849
I gotta get to my shop.
137
00:05:50,140 --> 00:05:52,393
You mind finishing up,
then letting yourself out,
138
00:05:52,685 --> 00:05:54,520
or is that weird?
Why would that be weird?
139
00:05:54,812 --> 00:05:56,856
Every foot of this apartment
has seen me naked.
140
00:05:57,147 --> 00:05:58,941
Now it's weird.
Go on, get out of here.
141
00:05:59,233 --> 00:06:00,609
Okay. See you.
142
00:06:13,163 --> 00:06:16,125
The old apartment.
143
00:06:16,417 --> 00:06:17,585
Uh...
144
00:06:19,420 --> 00:06:20,963
Hello.
145
00:06:32,558 --> 00:06:34,852
I'm telling you, I'm not gaycist.
Yeah, okay.
146
00:06:35,144 --> 00:06:36,812
You're my closest friend.
You're gay.
147
00:06:37,104 --> 00:06:38,814
Typical gaycist rhetoric.
148
00:06:39,106 --> 00:06:40,900
You people, you're all the same.
149
00:06:41,191 --> 00:06:43,152
"You people?"
Now, that's racist.
150
00:06:43,444 --> 00:06:45,362
I taught you how to eat
a guy's spine, dawg,
151
00:06:45,654 --> 00:06:47,823
and this is how you do me?
That's cold, player.
152
00:06:48,115 --> 00:06:50,492
You're talking like
a stereotypical black person,
153
00:06:50,784 --> 00:06:52,286
and I'm a gaycist?
Hmph!
154
00:06:52,578 --> 00:06:54,121
This is ridiculous.
155
00:06:54,413 --> 00:06:57,166
Right, Penny? Penny?
156
00:06:59,126 --> 00:07:00,669
Oh, my God, sorry.
157
00:07:00,961 --> 00:07:04,340
I'm jumpy because your wife
fake-stabbed me 38 times today.
158
00:07:04,632 --> 00:07:06,300
Oh, you forgot
her half-birthday too?
159
00:07:06,592 --> 00:07:08,510
That woman is an animal.
I know.
160
00:07:10,179 --> 00:07:11,221
Hello.
Hey. It's me.
161
00:07:11,513 --> 00:07:12,556
Did you catch the mouse?
162
00:07:12,848 --> 00:07:15,017
Still working on it.
163
00:07:15,309 --> 00:07:16,852
Oh, he's a sneaky little guy.
164
00:07:18,771 --> 00:07:20,064
Oh, wait.
Did you get him?
165
00:07:20,356 --> 00:07:23,442
Hold on.
Let me check real quick.
166
00:07:23,734 --> 00:07:25,194
Hmm.
167
00:07:25,486 --> 00:07:27,988
Nope, false alarm.
168
00:07:28,280 --> 00:07:30,908
Might have to come back
tomorrow.
169
00:07:33,494 --> 00:07:35,746
It's been four days.
You haven't caught him yet.
170
00:07:36,038 --> 00:07:39,249
I know. He's my Bin Laden.
Jessica Bin Laden,
171
00:07:39,541 --> 00:07:41,669
super-hot Arab girl
I went to college with.
172
00:07:41,961 --> 00:07:44,380
She was the one that got away.
Anyway...
173
00:07:44,672 --> 00:07:46,215
Thanks for fixing that cabinet.
174
00:07:46,507 --> 00:07:48,759
Yeah, totally.
Thanks for fixing the AC too.
175
00:07:49,051 --> 00:07:52,846
I fixed your surround sound,
and brought this special cable
176
00:07:53,138 --> 00:07:55,975
so you can watch TV in hi-def.
That is so nice.
177
00:07:56,266 --> 00:07:58,894
You know, I just wanna make
the place more comfy.
178
00:07:59,186 --> 00:08:01,563
For you.
Thanks for fixing so much stuff.
179
00:08:08,320 --> 00:08:12,449
Okay. Go. Go, go, go.
180
00:08:12,741 --> 00:08:13,784
Doesn't this suck?
181
00:08:14,076 --> 00:08:15,744
How this mouse
has inconvenienced us?
182
00:08:16,036 --> 00:08:17,204
Torture.
Yeah.
183
00:08:17,496 --> 00:08:19,623
You ever thought about
getting the NFL package?
184
00:08:19,915 --> 00:08:21,709
I can call for you.
185
00:08:24,211 --> 00:08:26,755
What's wrong?
Max keeps calling me a gaycist.
186
00:08:27,047 --> 00:08:28,507
That's awful.
I have no idea what that means.
187
00:08:29,550 --> 00:08:31,927
I think all gay people
are attracted to each other.
188
00:08:32,219 --> 00:08:34,221
But you don't.
I know. I love gays.
189
00:08:34,513 --> 00:08:38,350
Hilary Swank, Tom Hanks,
Jake Gyllenhaal, Will Smith.
190
00:08:38,642 --> 00:08:40,811
You're naming actors
who played gay characters.
191
00:08:41,103 --> 00:08:43,522
But acting is pretty gay.
How did this come up?
192
00:08:43,814 --> 00:08:45,315
I tried to fix him up
with Franklin.
193
00:08:45,607 --> 00:08:46,817
That guy?
Yeah.
194
00:08:47,109 --> 00:08:49,445
So boring, when I'm tired,
I count Franklins.
195
00:08:49,737 --> 00:08:52,906
Heh. Like, uh, sheep.
196
00:08:53,198 --> 00:08:54,950
Ahem,
so why did you set them up,
197
00:08:55,242 --> 00:08:56,785
because they're both gay?
No.
198
00:08:57,077 --> 00:08:58,328
Wait, you're gay?
Yeah.
199
00:08:58,620 --> 00:09:00,080
You should meet my buddy.
He's gay.
200
00:09:00,372 --> 00:09:01,999
Wow.
201
00:09:02,291 --> 00:09:05,711
Married to a gaycist.
That's not... You don't...
202
00:09:06,003 --> 00:09:08,005
I'm not a gaycist,
and I'll prove it.
203
00:09:08,297 --> 00:09:11,258
I'll show Max he and Franklin
have more in common than just being gay.
204
00:09:11,550 --> 00:09:15,304
Mm-hm. Good luck with that.
I am gonna go get my krav on.
205
00:09:15,596 --> 00:09:17,931
Ha, ha. Penny and I are
having so much fun with this.
206
00:09:18,223 --> 00:09:20,559
Really? Sure about that?
She loves it.
207
00:09:21,602 --> 00:09:23,270
- Aah!
- Beautiful.
208
00:09:23,562 --> 00:09:25,814
Now use her own gun against her.
209
00:09:26,106 --> 00:09:27,274
Pop, pop, pop!
210
00:09:27,566 --> 00:09:31,612
Wonderful. You're like a cobra:
swift, lethal.
211
00:09:31,904 --> 00:09:35,282
Penny, you will have a sparsely
attended memorial service.
212
00:09:35,574 --> 00:09:37,493
She's still moving.
Pop, pop, pop!
213
00:09:37,785 --> 00:09:39,453
Ugh!
Click, click, click. What?
214
00:09:43,832 --> 00:09:45,375
Boom!
215
00:09:45,667 --> 00:09:48,045
Boom!
All right, we get it, we get it.
216
00:09:48,337 --> 00:09:49,588
Hey. That cheese
is for the customers.
217
00:09:50,631 --> 00:09:52,257
I could be a customer.
218
00:09:52,549 --> 00:09:54,384
Do you have this
in a men's extra husky?
219
00:09:54,676 --> 00:09:56,220
Why are you here again?
Free Wi-Fi.
220
00:09:56,512 --> 00:09:58,972
Right.
Hey, have you seen Dave?
221
00:09:59,264 --> 00:10:02,267
He only comes home to sleep.
Like living with a stripper.
222
00:10:02,559 --> 00:10:04,269
He's trying to catch a mouse
at my place.
223
00:10:04,561 --> 00:10:06,980
Still?
Yeah. Pretty wily mouse.
224
00:10:07,272 --> 00:10:08,357
But it's working out.
225
00:10:08,649 --> 00:10:10,234
Dave's fixing things
while he waits.
226
00:10:10,526 --> 00:10:11,902
And you're not concerned
227
00:10:12,194 --> 00:10:13,445
that Dave is day-squatting
228
00:10:13,737 --> 00:10:15,739
playing Mr. Fix-It
in the love nest you share?
229
00:10:16,031 --> 00:10:17,032
What are you getting at?
230
00:10:17,324 --> 00:10:19,076
Alex, I'm no doctor.
You know that.
231
00:10:19,368 --> 00:10:22,579
It's just that I feel Dave's
having a tough time moving on.
232
00:10:22,871 --> 00:10:24,414
Hasn't unpacked
his Jordan poster.
233
00:10:24,706 --> 00:10:26,750
Really?
I mean, he hung that in his car
234
00:10:27,042 --> 00:10:29,336
on a road trip to Wisconsin.
235
00:10:29,628 --> 00:10:31,338
Think he's trying
to use this situation
236
00:10:31,630 --> 00:10:33,006
as a way to ease us back
together?
237
00:10:33,298 --> 00:10:35,050
Oh, absolutely, yeah.
Really?
238
00:10:35,342 --> 00:10:37,636
Or not, I don't know.
239
00:10:37,928 --> 00:10:40,931
Look at me. I'm a fancy lady.
240
00:10:41,223 --> 00:10:42,724
Those are bracelets.
Are they?
241
00:10:43,016 --> 00:10:43,976
Yeah. Okay.
242
00:10:44,268 --> 00:10:45,644
Where are you going?
I gotta go.
243
00:10:45,936 --> 00:10:47,354
I'll put boogers
in your candles.
244
00:10:50,149 --> 00:10:52,568
Dave.
Alex.
245
00:10:52,860 --> 00:10:55,154
Hey.
246
00:10:55,445 --> 00:10:56,864
The mouse remains at large.
247
00:10:57,156 --> 00:10:59,366
I had to be completely still,
248
00:10:59,658 --> 00:11:01,660
which is why I was
lying on the couch,
249
00:11:01,952 --> 00:11:03,453
and I had to take off my pants
250
00:11:03,745 --> 00:11:05,956
because the mouse
could hear my jeans.
251
00:11:06,248 --> 00:11:08,417
What's that smell?
Have you been cooking?
252
00:11:08,709 --> 00:11:10,460
Had some time,
I thought I'd make dinner.
253
00:11:10,752 --> 00:11:13,046
Dinner?
Listen, I know this is not
254
00:11:13,338 --> 00:11:15,007
about the mouse, okay?
You do?
255
00:11:15,299 --> 00:11:17,301
Yes and you can't keep
coming here.
256
00:11:17,593 --> 00:11:19,803
You don't know what it's like
without...
257
00:11:20,095 --> 00:11:21,513
Stop. Max and I
talked about this.
258
00:11:21,805 --> 00:11:23,807
It's getting weird.
It's miserable.
259
00:11:24,099 --> 00:11:24,683
Most mornings
I can't get out of bed
260
00:11:25,726 --> 00:11:27,269
because all that's waiting
for me
261
00:11:27,561 --> 00:11:29,354
is a searing scalding
shower of pain.
262
00:11:29,646 --> 00:11:32,149
I feel for you, okay? I do.
But I just...
263
00:11:32,441 --> 00:11:34,234
I can't do this now.
We can make it work.
264
00:11:34,526 --> 00:11:36,778
I think you should go. Go.
265
00:11:41,867 --> 00:11:44,786
It was chili.
266
00:11:49,082 --> 00:11:51,668
Five, six, seven, and...
267
00:11:51,960 --> 00:11:56,131
Push, push, push, and kick.
Push, push, push, and kick.
268
00:11:56,423 --> 00:11:57,883
Penny.
269
00:11:59,218 --> 00:12:00,636
Penny.
270
00:12:03,639 --> 00:12:05,807
What's going on?
What does it look like?
271
00:12:06,099 --> 00:12:09,144
Like Cocoon.
Are you not going to krav?
272
00:12:09,436 --> 00:12:13,649
Not anymore.
Jazz Kwon Do is really fun,
273
00:12:13,941 --> 00:12:17,152
and you make krav too intense.
It's supposed to be intense.
274
00:12:17,444 --> 00:12:18,695
If someone breaks your house,
275
00:12:18,987 --> 00:12:20,530
they are not going
to "jazz" rob you,
276
00:12:20,822 --> 00:12:22,866
they'll "rob" rob you,
or "murder" murder you.
277
00:12:23,158 --> 00:12:24,243
I'm doing this for you.
278
00:12:24,534 --> 00:12:25,744
But you, like,
destroyed my confidence.
279
00:12:26,787 --> 00:12:28,288
You beat the Shira out of me.
280
00:12:28,580 --> 00:12:30,832
Fine.
Have fun in your dance class
281
00:12:31,124 --> 00:12:33,001
and when you get
your killer instinct back,
282
00:12:33,293 --> 00:12:34,461
you know where I'll be.
283
00:12:34,753 --> 00:12:38,382
I can find my killer instinct
right here.
284
00:12:38,674 --> 00:12:39,800
Okay, and Fosse Fists.
285
00:12:40,092 --> 00:12:43,762
And go, go, go. Shake it.
286
00:12:44,054 --> 00:12:45,889
Eight-Mississippi,
nine-Mississippi,
287
00:12:46,181 --> 00:12:48,141
ten-Mississippi, turn,
avoid the rust.
288
00:12:48,433 --> 00:12:49,601
Yeah!
289
00:12:49,893 --> 00:12:52,437
Oh, yeah. I got you beat, rust.
290
00:12:52,729 --> 00:12:53,772
I got you beat.
291
00:12:54,064 --> 00:12:55,983
And back in.
292
00:12:57,192 --> 00:12:59,319
Turn the nozzle 90 degrees,
293
00:12:59,611 --> 00:13:02,406
and we're in business.
This is not so bad.
294
00:13:05,284 --> 00:13:07,494
Oh, God! Ugh! Oh, God.
295
00:13:07,786 --> 00:13:09,746
Max, help! Max!
296
00:13:10,038 --> 00:13:12,416
In "Penalty of Death"
you create your own character.
297
00:13:12,708 --> 00:13:13,875
So I made myself Glenn Beck,
298
00:13:14,167 --> 00:13:15,502
so if I die I don't feel bad.
299
00:13:15,794 --> 00:13:17,462
Why keep staring at the door?
I'm not.
300
00:13:17,754 --> 00:13:20,173
Hey, look, it's Franklin.
301
00:13:20,465 --> 00:13:24,970
Oh, Brad, Max, what's up
home...? Homeboys. Heh.
302
00:13:25,262 --> 00:13:26,888
Hip-hop. I like it.
Do you like it?
303
00:13:27,180 --> 00:13:28,640
What you been up to?
304
00:13:28,932 --> 00:13:30,517
Anything Max
would be interested in?
305
00:13:30,809 --> 00:13:34,062
Well, uh, I just bought
the new people-killing game
306
00:13:34,354 --> 00:13:35,605
for the X-Station Box.
307
00:13:35,897 --> 00:13:37,441
Did I mention
I was a video gamester?
308
00:13:37,733 --> 00:13:39,484
I probably didn't get
a chance to
309
00:13:39,776 --> 00:13:43,447
during our time together,
divulge that important detail.
310
00:13:43,739 --> 00:13:44,781
Now I can sleep tonight.
311
00:13:45,073 --> 00:13:47,492
Look at this guy.
312
00:13:47,784 --> 00:13:50,495
Yeah, I'd like to see that.
313
00:13:50,787 --> 00:13:53,081
Oh, other facts that may have
escaped me that night,
314
00:13:53,373 --> 00:13:56,293
that I love, eating
late at night. That's one.
315
00:13:56,585 --> 00:14:00,088
I love having Chicago accent
and judging people cruelly.
316
00:14:00,380 --> 00:14:03,050
Wow, those are all things
that I enjoy as well.
317
00:14:03,342 --> 00:14:05,344
Right. Heh.
318
00:14:05,635 --> 00:14:06,845
Anyways, well,
I kind of gotta go.
319
00:14:07,888 --> 00:14:09,723
You know what?
I actually, uh, gotta go.
320
00:14:10,015 --> 00:14:12,517
I'm gonna make a prank call
to an ethnic restaurant
321
00:14:12,809 --> 00:14:14,353
and exploit
the language barrier.
322
00:14:14,644 --> 00:14:15,812
Yeah, so funny.
323
00:14:16,104 --> 00:14:18,106
It's funny when people
are different.
324
00:14:18,398 --> 00:14:21,443
All right, so I'm out, whatever.
No biggie, who cares.
325
00:14:21,735 --> 00:14:23,487
Bye.
326
00:14:23,779 --> 00:14:26,615
Good old awesome, dependable,
compatible Franklin.
327
00:14:26,907 --> 00:14:29,284
I know what you're trying to do.
Max, I just think...
328
00:14:29,576 --> 00:14:31,703
Trying to get me to give
Franklin a second chance.
329
00:14:31,995 --> 00:14:33,455
And I should.
Really?
330
00:14:33,747 --> 00:14:35,457
What do you say
the three of us hang out?
331
00:14:35,749 --> 00:14:38,835
Cool, man, yeah.
I'll set it up. That's awesome.
332
00:14:39,127 --> 00:14:40,545
Me, you and Franklin.
333
00:14:40,837 --> 00:14:42,798
I don't mind being the meat
in that sandwich.
334
00:14:43,090 --> 00:14:44,508
Thanks for letting me
crash here.
335
00:14:44,800 --> 00:14:45,801
Yeah.
336
00:14:46,093 --> 00:14:47,177
Jane has just got in my head.
337
00:14:47,469 --> 00:14:48,929
I don't feel safe
in my apartment.
338
00:14:49,221 --> 00:14:50,764
Let yourself in.
I'll be home later.
339
00:14:51,056 --> 00:14:53,767
Oh, okay, thank you so much.
You're welcome.
340
00:14:54,059 --> 00:14:55,435
All right, I love you.
You too.
341
00:14:55,727 --> 00:14:57,020
Okay, bye.
Bye.
342
00:14:57,312 --> 00:14:58,397
Hey.
343
00:15:03,527 --> 00:15:04,486
Dave?
344
00:15:04,778 --> 00:15:06,738
Yeah, Dave. Yes.
345
00:15:09,241 --> 00:15:11,243
I am sorry.
What are you doing here?
346
00:15:11,535 --> 00:15:12,494
What are you doing here?
347
00:15:12,786 --> 00:15:14,121
I wanna take a shower.
348
00:15:14,413 --> 00:15:15,914
Yeah, okay, that makes total...
349
00:15:16,206 --> 00:15:18,792
What are you doing here?
You have your own shower.
350
00:15:19,084 --> 00:15:22,003
I know. But every time
I shower at Max's place,
351
00:15:22,295 --> 00:15:24,423
I look like Fisher Stevens
from Short Circuit.
352
00:15:24,714 --> 00:15:26,967
Sweetie, you can't keep
calling it "Max's place,"
353
00:15:27,259 --> 00:15:28,718
It's your place too.
354
00:15:29,010 --> 00:15:31,847
And you cannot break into your
ex-fiancée's house to shower
355
00:15:32,139 --> 00:15:35,642
because this is just
straight-up creep-town.
356
00:15:35,934 --> 00:15:38,437
I know, I gotta deal.
357
00:15:38,728 --> 00:15:41,064
Oh. Oh. Ow.
Are you okay? Ooh.
358
00:15:41,356 --> 00:15:42,732
Yeah, I'm fine. I'm fine.
359
00:15:43,024 --> 00:15:44,901
Although, I do think
you kicked my P into a V.
360
00:15:45,193 --> 00:15:48,405
Nice. I did that.
I did that.
361
00:15:48,697 --> 00:15:50,949
Or should I say Shira did that.
Thank you, Shira.
362
00:15:51,241 --> 00:15:53,452
You're welcome.
363
00:15:53,743 --> 00:15:56,788
Would you care
for some hummus? Hee-yah!
364
00:15:57,080 --> 00:15:58,331
No, Peyton Manning's funny.
365
00:15:58,623 --> 00:16:00,584
Eli is the one
that can't close his mouth.
366
00:16:00,876 --> 00:16:02,169
- Okay, sorry.
- Hey, guys
367
00:16:02,461 --> 00:16:04,838
Hey.
Keep it to yourself, Franklin.
368
00:16:05,130 --> 00:16:07,424
So I brought along a friend,
that, Brad,
369
00:16:07,716 --> 00:16:09,551
I think you will
just hit it off with.
370
00:16:09,843 --> 00:16:12,137
Brad, I'd like you to meet
Miss Mary.
371
00:16:12,429 --> 00:16:14,014
I met her on my fioor,
selling Bibles.
372
00:16:14,306 --> 00:16:15,891
I thought you guys
got a lot in common.
373
00:16:16,183 --> 00:16:18,810
So nice to meet you, Brad.
Ma'am.
374
00:16:19,102 --> 00:16:20,729
Why don't you have a seat.
375
00:16:21,021 --> 00:16:22,439
Tell Brad
about how your religion
376
00:16:22,731 --> 00:16:24,483
doesn't believe
in blood transfusions.
377
00:16:24,774 --> 00:16:26,276
Oh, sure.
Ha, ha, ha.
378
00:16:26,568 --> 00:16:29,196
Um, no of tense, Miss Mary, but,
Max,
379
00:16:29,488 --> 00:16:32,199
what on Earth do you think I
have in common with this woman?
380
00:16:32,491 --> 00:16:34,034
Why do you have
something in common?
381
00:16:34,326 --> 00:16:36,995
Yeah.
I don't know, because...
382
00:16:37,287 --> 00:16:40,081
you're both...
383
00:16:41,625 --> 00:16:43,168
Okay, I'm a gaycist.
384
00:16:43,460 --> 00:16:45,253
There it is,
put it on the board. Ha, ha.
385
00:16:45,545 --> 00:16:47,964
You have nothing in common
except sexual preference.
386
00:16:48,256 --> 00:16:51,510
It's all right. Franklin and I
still had sex in the bathroom.
387
00:16:51,801 --> 00:16:53,595
You guys had sex
in the bathroom?
388
00:16:53,887 --> 00:16:55,222
No. Ugh.
389
00:16:55,514 --> 00:16:58,266
You boys are going straight
to hell in a hand basket.
390
00:17:01,102 --> 00:17:04,564
And with one swift yank
of the testicles...
391
00:17:04,856 --> 00:17:06,900
Hey!
392
00:17:07,192 --> 00:17:08,985
I got my killer instinct back.
393
00:17:09,277 --> 00:17:12,906
I stood up for myself.
Last night I beat Dave's ass,
394
00:17:13,198 --> 00:17:14,491
and now I've come for you.
395
00:17:14,783 --> 00:17:16,952
And this time
I know where my lats are.
396
00:17:17,244 --> 00:17:18,370
Boom.
397
00:17:18,662 --> 00:17:21,706
Still no. And you beat Dave,
our friend, up?
398
00:17:21,998 --> 00:17:24,876
Shut your mouth, Scarecrow.
It is game, set, go time.
399
00:17:25,168 --> 00:17:26,753
Match, you and me.
400
00:17:27,045 --> 00:17:30,006
Dave, we need to talk.
I was thinking about it,
401
00:17:30,298 --> 00:17:32,467
and the way I kicked you out
the other day was rude.
402
00:17:32,759 --> 00:17:35,387
It's okay. I understand.
No, I was being selfish.
403
00:17:35,679 --> 00:17:38,473
I really liked the way
that you were fixing stuff.
404
00:17:38,765 --> 00:17:40,600
I didn't stop to think
about how that might
405
00:17:40,892 --> 00:17:41,893
reawaken your feelings.
406
00:17:42,185 --> 00:17:43,478
Feelings?
407
00:17:43,770 --> 00:17:45,063
Trust me, I have
complicated feelings about you.
408
00:17:46,106 --> 00:17:47,649
I don't think now
is the right time
409
00:17:47,941 --> 00:17:49,401
to try to get back together.
410
00:17:49,693 --> 00:17:52,487
Oh, ha, ha. Oh, no, no,
I don't wanna get back together.
411
00:17:52,779 --> 00:17:54,489
The only thing
I wanted to get back with
412
00:17:54,781 --> 00:17:56,324
was my old shower.
Really?
413
00:17:56,616 --> 00:17:57,993
Wait, you expect me to believe
414
00:17:58,285 --> 00:17:59,869
that you moved back
into my apartment
415
00:18:00,161 --> 00:18:01,204
because you love my shower?
416
00:18:01,496 --> 00:18:02,581
Yeah, because it's clean,
417
00:18:02,872 --> 00:18:04,583
you have soap
that shaped butterflies.
418
00:18:04,874 --> 00:18:06,751
Here, the soap is shaped
like 15 mini-soaps
419
00:18:07,043 --> 00:18:08,587
smashed together,
wrapped in hair.
420
00:18:08,878 --> 00:18:10,297
You can just buy soap.
421
00:18:10,589 --> 00:18:13,800
Alex, I swear I don't have
any reawakened feelings.
422
00:18:14,092 --> 00:18:15,760
I know.
Unlike you,
423
00:18:16,052 --> 00:18:17,470
who apparently is fully awake.
424
00:18:17,762 --> 00:18:19,764
What? What? No.
425
00:18:20,056 --> 00:18:22,517
I'm not awake at all. Nope.
Uh-uh.
426
00:18:22,809 --> 00:18:24,269
What are you doing
in my apartment?
427
00:18:24,561 --> 00:18:26,521
I try to figure out
how to delete 12 hours
428
00:18:26,813 --> 00:18:27,772
of NFL off my DVR.
429
00:18:28,064 --> 00:18:29,149
Oh.
Yeah.
430
00:18:29,441 --> 00:18:31,651
Since when are
you calling this your place?
431
00:18:31,943 --> 00:18:34,237
Well, it is gnarly,
but it's home.
432
00:18:34,529 --> 00:18:36,573
Well, not quite.
433
00:18:36,865 --> 00:18:38,241
I could help you hang this.
434
00:18:38,533 --> 00:18:41,328
I taught myself
how to hammer a nail.
435
00:18:41,620 --> 00:18:44,581
Um, you know,
you can't hammer nails
436
00:18:44,873 --> 00:18:46,416
into brick?
You know that, right?
437
00:18:46,708 --> 00:18:48,627
Yep. Mm-hm.
Looks better here.
438
00:18:48,918 --> 00:18:50,879
You're able to decorate
with those feelings
439
00:18:51,171 --> 00:18:52,964
dancing in your head?
Shut up.
440
00:18:53,256 --> 00:18:55,675
How about this?
441
00:18:55,967 --> 00:18:58,595
Does this,
uh, complicate things?
442
00:18:58,887 --> 00:19:00,013
Excuse me?
This?
443
00:19:00,305 --> 00:19:02,182
I don't understand that.
What about this?
444
00:19:02,474 --> 00:19:04,934
Mmm!
Whoo, boy.
445
00:19:05,226 --> 00:19:07,312
What about this?
It is complicated.
446
00:19:07,604 --> 00:19:09,064
Don't pull something.
447
00:19:09,356 --> 00:19:10,649
You wanna do this?
Uh-huh.
448
00:19:10,940 --> 00:19:12,609
I'm not gonna hold back, Penny.
449
00:19:12,901 --> 00:19:17,364
Who's Penny?
My name is Shira Abramowitz.
450
00:19:17,656 --> 00:19:19,282
Aah!
I'm proud of you, Pen.
451
00:19:19,574 --> 00:19:20,158
You got
your killer instinct back.
452
00:19:21,201 --> 00:19:22,786
Doesn't mean
I don't still own you.
453
00:19:24,579 --> 00:19:26,456
Get her, get her.
454
00:19:26,748 --> 00:19:27,707
More ruthless,
455
00:19:27,999 --> 00:19:30,960
like you're a gang member.
456
00:19:31,252 --> 00:19:33,213
Good, good trip, I like it.
457
00:19:33,505 --> 00:19:34,506
I stab you!
458
00:19:34,798 --> 00:19:36,383
I have a force field!
459
00:19:36,675 --> 00:19:38,259
Okay, Jane, get the wooden gun.
460
00:19:38,551 --> 00:19:40,261
Pop, pop, pop!
461
00:19:52,857 --> 00:19:54,192
Fosse Fists.
462
00:19:54,484 --> 00:19:57,529
What the hell is a Fosse Fist?
463
00:19:57,821 --> 00:20:00,782
Sucka.
464
00:20:01,074 --> 00:20:03,410
It was the krav maga
that might have beaten you,
465
00:20:03,702 --> 00:20:06,454
but it was the Jazz Kwon Do
that made it look so fine.
466
00:20:06,746 --> 00:20:07,872
Jazz Kwon Do?
467
00:20:08,164 --> 00:20:10,667
- Where do I sign up?
- Nice fight.
468
00:20:10,959 --> 00:20:11,918
Yeah.
469
00:20:13,670 --> 00:20:15,547
Great moves. You were great.
I'm so proud.
470
00:20:15,839 --> 00:20:17,132
I was... Thanks.
471
00:20:20,176 --> 00:20:22,637
Guys, I promise you,
this is not a drill.
472
00:20:24,222 --> 00:20:25,890
Let's get into formation.
473
00:20:26,182 --> 00:20:29,227
We're five, six, seven, eight.
Grab your tiny hat.
474
00:20:37,402 --> 00:20:40,739
Fosse Fists, Fosse Fists,
Fosse Fists, Fosse Fists.
475
00:20:44,909 --> 00:20:46,327
Hat.
Hat, hat.
476
00:20:46,619 --> 00:20:47,746
- Krav!
- Hee-yah!
477
00:20:48,037 --> 00:20:49,622
Bring it back to center.
478
00:20:49,914 --> 00:20:51,624
Have a little fun
and take a quick break.
479
00:20:51,916 --> 00:20:53,376
And now back.
480
00:20:56,337 --> 00:20:58,173
Back it, back it up.
We're here! Punch!
481
00:21:01,050 --> 00:21:03,553
Shimmy, shimmy, cocoa.
482
00:21:03,845 --> 00:21:05,805
No! No! No!
483
00:21:06,097 --> 00:21:08,057
Yes.
484
00:21:08,349 --> 00:21:09,893
Shh.
485
00:21:10,185 --> 00:21:11,853
We're going again.
We are going again.
486
00:21:12,145 --> 00:21:14,689
I like your energy.
Now you know it, now forget it.
36018
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