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Previously on Californication...
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Whoa! You have a surprisingly big dick.
3
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Oh, but that doesn't make me
want to be with you, Levon.
4
00:00:17,472 --> 00:00:19,540
I'm not saying what he did is right.
5
00:00:19,574 --> 00:00:21,608
But I get where he's coming from, you know?
6
00:00:21,643 --> 00:00:23,644
He's a guy. He just wants to get laid.
7
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It's totally normal.
8
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You have another family.
9
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The bottom has just officially
dropped out of our relationship!
10
00:00:32,353 --> 00:00:33,854
Have you ever given any thought
11
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to taking on a manager?
12
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I could totally see us working together.
13
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You help me get the
show out from under Rath,
14
00:00:38,560 --> 00:00:40,160
and I'm all yours.
15
00:00:40,195 --> 00:00:43,964
There is nothing limp
dick about you, Charlie.
16
00:00:43,998 --> 00:00:46,033
I mean, she's so beautiful.
17
00:00:46,067 --> 00:00:48,702
Is it cool if, uh, I pursue her?
18
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- You're not looking to rekindle?
- No.
19
00:00:50,171 --> 00:00:51,471
- No, not at all.
- Why not?
20
00:00:51,506 --> 00:00:52,673
- This is...
- It's a terrible idea.
21
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a terrible idea.
22
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[Guitar playing]
23
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Hey! You rang?
24
00:01:06,788 --> 00:01:08,989
Yeah. How's that outline going?
25
00:01:09,023 --> 00:01:10,490
Not great.
26
00:01:10,525 --> 00:01:12,492
It's kind of like having an impacted bowel
27
00:01:12,527 --> 00:01:14,528
and you're forced to stick
your finger up your ass
28
00:01:14,562 --> 00:01:17,698
and pry the shit out one
dry, flaky chunk at a time,
29
00:01:17,732 --> 00:01:19,566
except with words.
30
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- Thank you for that.
- You're welcome.
31
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Didn't know you played.
32
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Just enough to know how much I suck.
33
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Copy that, motherfucker.
34
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Um, I am going out on a
date with Julia tonight.
35
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Oh. The real reason you summoned me.
36
00:01:38,253 --> 00:01:41,021
Maybe. You okay with that?
37
00:01:41,089 --> 00:01:43,423
If the lady's cool with
it, I'm cool with it.
38
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What about the kid? You
think he'll be cool with it?
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I thought you didn't
care about such things.
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You wanted to see me, Mr. Rath, sir?
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Yeah, hey! Come in, come in.
42
00:01:50,632 --> 00:01:54,167
Have a seat.
43
00:01:54,202 --> 00:01:56,837
- How you doing, buddy?
- Couldn't be better.
44
00:01:56,871 --> 00:01:58,205
- Good.
- Want some chocolate?
45
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No, thank you.
46
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Listen... Uh, I wanted you to know
47
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that, uh, I'm taking your mom out tonight.
48
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- Hank supports it.
- Yeah, I-I know all about it.
49
00:02:08,416 --> 00:02:10,851
- What, she told you?
- Yeah.
50
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We tell each other everything.
51
00:02:12,353 --> 00:02:14,154
Everything?
52
00:02:14,188 --> 00:02:16,056
Pretty much, yeah.
53
00:02:16,090 --> 00:02:19,059
One time, my Aunt Jesse
stayed with us for a few days,
54
00:02:19,093 --> 00:02:20,894
and it was right around the
time I started jerking off.
55
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So she leaves a pair of her panties behind.
56
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I used to sniff 'em while I hit it.
57
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Really enhanced the orgasm, you know?
58
00:02:26,167 --> 00:02:28,568
Then I started to feel, like,
weird and guilty about it,
59
00:02:28,603 --> 00:02:29,803
so I told my mom.
60
00:02:29,837 --> 00:02:31,371
She was so fucking cool about it.
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00:02:31,406 --> 00:02:34,474
She's pretty hot for an aunt, Aunt Jesse.
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Maybe I should rethink this thing.
63
00:02:36,377 --> 00:02:37,711
Oh, no, no. Don't.
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Look, look, my mom's a great lady.
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She... she deserves to have fun with men.
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Gross.
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00:02:44,419 --> 00:02:46,153
J-just be cool, okay?
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00:02:46,187 --> 00:02:47,988
Anyone can be a dick.
Be a gentleman, you know?
69
00:02:48,022 --> 00:02:49,656
Think about it like if I
was gonna date your mom.
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00:02:49,691 --> 00:02:52,259
I don't want to think about it like that.
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My mom is dead.
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Oh, my God, I'm so sorry. I had no idea.
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Was she hot?
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Holy shit.
75
00:03:02,236 --> 00:03:04,171
Hey, you know,
76
00:03:04,205 --> 00:03:06,340
the... the good news here is
I'm totally free to hang tonight.
77
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What do you want to do?
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[Upbeat music]
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♪
80
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Sync and corrections by explosiveskull
www.addic7ed.com
81
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So who recommended you?
82
00:04:04,098 --> 00:04:08,068
Mommy! Why are you hurting
that lady's "Bagina"?
83
00:04:08,102 --> 00:04:09,469
Stuart, I told you to stay your room.
84
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Mommy's working.
85
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It's okay, honey. She's not hurting it.
86
00:04:12,774 --> 00:04:14,908
I mean, it hurts a little bit.
87
00:04:14,942 --> 00:04:17,043
Actually, it hurts a lot.
88
00:04:17,078 --> 00:04:18,812
But she's just taking the hair off.
89
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Okay, yeah, he doesn't need to...
90
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Why are you taking the hair off?
91
00:04:21,582 --> 00:04:22,883
Stuart...
92
00:04:22,917 --> 00:04:25,552
Because boys like the way it looks.
93
00:04:25,586 --> 00:04:27,621
Honey, I need you to go
back to your room now.
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00:04:27,655 --> 00:04:28,889
I don't like it at all.
95
00:04:28,923 --> 00:04:30,223
It looks like a big pink walnut.
96
00:04:30,258 --> 00:04:34,060
All right, then, run along now.
97
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Wow.
98
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He is so cute. [Chuckles]
99
00:04:38,266 --> 00:04:41,234
Yes. He is a little dolly...
100
00:04:41,269 --> 00:04:44,070
just like his dad. It's weird.
101
00:04:44,105 --> 00:04:46,907
Okay, so who recommended you?
102
00:04:46,941 --> 00:04:48,575
Stu Beggs.
103
00:04:48,609 --> 00:04:50,677
Oh, okay, my ex.
104
00:04:50,711 --> 00:04:52,078
Yeah.
105
00:04:52,113 --> 00:04:54,014
He said that you probably needed the work.
106
00:04:54,048 --> 00:04:57,184
He said that your husband
isn't much of an earner, so...
107
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I'm sure he did.
108
00:04:59,320 --> 00:05:00,754
And, no, he is not.
109
00:05:00,788 --> 00:05:03,924
He talks about you a lot, actually.
110
00:05:03,958 --> 00:05:06,259
I think that he's still in love with you.
111
00:05:06,294 --> 00:05:10,096
Well, actually, he has said
that out loud, like, a lot.
112
00:05:10,131 --> 00:05:11,865
[Laughs]
113
00:05:11,899 --> 00:05:14,968
Wait. So how do you guys know each other?
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- He's a client.
- Oh, okay.
115
00:05:18,573 --> 00:05:20,640
So what are you, like,
a publicist or something?
116
00:05:20,675 --> 00:05:23,109
- More like...
- A hooker?
117
00:05:23,144 --> 00:05:24,544
- Yeah.
- Yeah!
118
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- Pretty much.
- That's real neat.
119
00:05:26,547 --> 00:05:28,315
Sorry.
120
00:05:28,349 --> 00:05:30,817
No, it's fine. No judgment.
121
00:05:30,852 --> 00:05:35,121
So, uh, Stu's big into
prostitutes these days.
122
00:05:35,156 --> 00:05:36,823
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
123
00:05:36,858 --> 00:05:39,059
Yeah, he must be nursing
a broken heart or something
124
00:05:39,093 --> 00:05:41,895
because he drops a lot of cash on 'tutes.
125
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I like to think that I'm his favorite,
126
00:05:43,731 --> 00:05:46,800
but he's not really very picky.
127
00:05:46,834 --> 00:05:48,802
- Hmm.
- I'll tell you what, though.
128
00:05:48,836 --> 00:05:51,805
He calls me Marcy when we bone.
129
00:05:51,839 --> 00:05:53,240
- [Laughs]
- Oh!
130
00:05:53,274 --> 00:05:55,475
Good to know. [Slapping]
131
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♪ I wish I could meet Elvis ♪
132
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♪ And talk to him for a while ♪
133
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Cheers.
134
00:06:08,523 --> 00:06:10,924
Shit! Jesus Christ, that tastes awful.
135
00:06:10,958 --> 00:06:13,560
Drink up, Nancy. It'll
put hair on your balls.
136
00:06:13,594 --> 00:06:15,328
I've got too much hair on my balls.
137
00:06:15,363 --> 00:06:17,497
You see this fucking
mop? Now picture my balls.
138
00:06:17,532 --> 00:06:20,500
This is a house where the carpet
definitely matches the drapes.
139
00:06:20,535 --> 00:06:22,702
Yeah, that's not how you use that phrase.
140
00:06:22,737 --> 00:06:24,337
- It's not?
- No.
141
00:06:24,372 --> 00:06:26,006
Oh.
142
00:06:26,040 --> 00:06:28,675
You've really never had
a serious girlfriend.
143
00:06:28,709 --> 00:06:30,544
Well, not really.
144
00:06:30,578 --> 00:06:33,914
I mean, I've had my fair
share of texting relationships,
145
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but they always end with me saying
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something really inappropriate,
147
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and then the girl goes silent,
148
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and then I end up texting
her a hundred more times,
149
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and her parents call my mom,
150
00:06:42,757 --> 00:06:44,524
and I get a serious
talking-to about cyberbullying.
151
00:06:44,559 --> 00:06:46,192
It's... it's a real fucking bummer.
152
00:06:46,227 --> 00:06:47,861
Yeah, you need to start dealing
153
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with some real live
women one-on-one.
154
00:06:51,032 --> 00:06:53,199
Ooh, that is fucking scary.
155
00:06:53,234 --> 00:06:55,035
Yeah, but still... Oh.
156
00:06:55,069 --> 00:06:57,103
- Here's your shot.
- You sure?
157
00:06:57,138 --> 00:06:59,539
- Go forth.
- [Ahem].
158
00:07:02,743 --> 00:07:04,044
- Oh!
- Hi.
159
00:07:04,078 --> 00:07:05,545
Uh, hi, pr... pretty lady.
160
00:07:05,580 --> 00:07:07,647
Um...
161
00:07:07,682 --> 00:07:11,051
Do... do you... do you want to
have a drink with me and my dad?
162
00:07:11,085 --> 00:07:13,453
We just recently started a
relationship with each other.
163
00:07:13,487 --> 00:07:16,156
Hey, I know you.
164
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- Dude, did you bang her?
- Shh. Shut up.
165
00:07:18,392 --> 00:07:20,126
Really? Where from?
166
00:07:20,161 --> 00:07:22,862
- I was your student.
- Oh, yeah.
167
00:07:22,897 --> 00:07:24,631
I took your writing class.
168
00:07:24,665 --> 00:07:26,866
That's right. I taught for a while.
169
00:07:26,901 --> 00:07:29,102
I totally forgot about that. How was I?
170
00:07:29,136 --> 00:07:31,371
Honestly, I've had better.
171
00:07:31,405 --> 00:07:33,974
Honestly, I've been better.
That was a dark time.
172
00:07:34,008 --> 00:07:35,942
But allow me to make it up to you
173
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by introducing you to
a promising young actor
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00:07:37,979 --> 00:07:39,212
on the rise...
175
00:07:39,246 --> 00:07:40,747
- Oh.
- Levon.
176
00:07:40,781 --> 00:07:42,549
Cool. What have you been in?
177
00:07:42,583 --> 00:07:44,884
Not... not much of anything, really.
178
00:07:44,919 --> 00:07:47,954
I mean, sometimes I film myself
doing famous movie monologues,
179
00:07:47,989 --> 00:07:49,222
and I put them on YouTube.
180
00:07:49,256 --> 00:07:50,657
I figure someone will eventually...
181
00:07:50,691 --> 00:07:52,392
Oh, he's being modest.
182
00:07:52,426 --> 00:07:54,661
He's working on a new show
called Santa Monica Cop.
183
00:07:54,695 --> 00:07:57,230
I-I'm just a PA, really.
I-I get lunches and shit.
184
00:07:57,264 --> 00:07:58,732
Cool.
185
00:07:58,766 --> 00:08:01,401
Hey, you were sleeping with that girl
186
00:08:01,435 --> 00:08:02,936
who turned out to be a stripper, right?
187
00:08:02,970 --> 00:08:05,171
What? That is silly.
188
00:08:05,206 --> 00:08:07,407
Teachers sleeping with
students... that's not cool.
189
00:08:07,441 --> 00:08:09,909
No, it was a really big deal.
190
00:08:09,944 --> 00:08:14,648
Didn't you fuck that TA
too and the dean's wife?
191
00:08:14,682 --> 00:08:16,416
[Laughs]
192
00:08:16,450 --> 00:08:19,986
You were famous that
semester. You fucked them all.
193
00:08:20,021 --> 00:08:21,755
- Wow.
- Hey...
194
00:08:21,789 --> 00:08:23,356
could I get a picture with you?
195
00:08:23,391 --> 00:08:25,992
My friend is gonna lose her shit.
196
00:08:26,027 --> 00:08:28,461
Would you mind?
197
00:08:30,364 --> 00:08:32,799
Thanks, Dad.
198
00:08:36,470 --> 00:08:39,906
One, two, three.
199
00:08:53,154 --> 00:08:55,889
Goldie?
200
00:08:55,923 --> 00:08:59,125
You in there?
201
00:08:59,160 --> 00:09:01,995
What fucking took you so long, Runkle?
202
00:09:02,029 --> 00:09:05,065
I came as soon as you called. Are you okay?
203
00:09:05,099 --> 00:09:09,536
- Have you been drinking?
- Obviously.
204
00:09:09,570 --> 00:09:12,405
- Maybe this is a mistake.
- What? What?
205
00:09:12,440 --> 00:09:14,607
Why? What... what are you talking about?
206
00:09:14,642 --> 00:09:16,810
I need a manager who cares about me
207
00:09:16,844 --> 00:09:18,778
as much as about what me can do for him.
208
00:09:18,813 --> 00:09:21,081
I do, Goldie, very much so.
209
00:09:21,115 --> 00:09:22,949
What can I do for you?
210
00:09:22,983 --> 00:09:26,619
- How can I help?
- Get me off this fucking show.
211
00:09:26,654 --> 00:09:28,488
Why?
212
00:09:28,522 --> 00:09:29,989
Rath humiliated me.
213
00:09:30,024 --> 00:09:33,727
Ah. What did he do? Did he hit on you?
214
00:09:33,761 --> 00:09:36,496
No! He would never do that.
215
00:09:36,530 --> 00:09:39,799
I'm sure he thinks I'm
an unfuckable monster.
216
00:09:39,834 --> 00:09:44,137
Oh, I don't think that's true at all.
217
00:09:44,171 --> 00:09:46,139
Thank you, Charlie.
218
00:09:46,173 --> 00:09:47,974
[Crunching]
219
00:09:48,008 --> 00:09:50,210
You make me feel really sexy.
220
00:09:50,244 --> 00:09:53,480
Oh, I-I didn't mean to do that exactly.
221
00:09:53,514 --> 00:09:56,015
But good, I guess.
222
00:09:56,050 --> 00:09:58,885
So what did Rath do?
223
00:09:58,919 --> 00:10:01,654
He fucking rewrote my script.
224
00:10:01,689 --> 00:10:04,090
[Scoffs] Oh, well, isn't that,
225
00:10:04,125 --> 00:10:06,326
you know, par for the course in television?
226
00:10:06,360 --> 00:10:08,194
Every single fucking line?
227
00:10:08,229 --> 00:10:10,930
You mean to tell me I
didn't write one usable word?
228
00:10:10,965 --> 00:10:13,666
Not even a fucking preposition or two.
229
00:10:13,701 --> 00:10:15,068
Okay, okay, okay.
230
00:10:15,102 --> 00:10:16,836
So what would you like me to do, Goldie?
231
00:10:16,871 --> 00:10:18,838
Would you... would you want me to, um...
232
00:10:18,873 --> 00:10:22,442
Have him killed.
233
00:10:22,476 --> 00:10:25,078
Have him killed.
234
00:10:25,112 --> 00:10:27,180
Okay.
235
00:10:27,214 --> 00:10:31,417
Uh, what do you say we put
a pin in that one, hmm...
236
00:10:31,452 --> 00:10:33,720
for now, just for now...
237
00:10:33,754 --> 00:10:37,023
and we look at that as a, um...
238
00:10:37,057 --> 00:10:39,592
you know, last-resort situation?
239
00:10:39,627 --> 00:10:43,196
You know, the very least
you could fucking do
240
00:10:43,230 --> 00:10:45,565
is call him and rip him a new asshole
241
00:10:45,599 --> 00:10:47,534
so that he knows I can't be treated
242
00:10:47,568 --> 00:10:49,135
like some girl from the street, okay?
243
00:10:49,170 --> 00:10:51,805
I'm a world-class writer and producer,
244
00:10:51,839 --> 00:10:53,807
and I'm gonna have my own show one day,
245
00:10:53,841 --> 00:10:55,708
if that means giving up every ounce
246
00:10:55,743 --> 00:10:59,445
of personal happiness to get it.
247
00:10:59,480 --> 00:11:01,080
I will talk to him.
248
00:11:03,083 --> 00:11:05,451
- Promise?
- I promise.
249
00:11:10,524 --> 00:11:11,891
Will you drive me home?
250
00:11:11,926 --> 00:11:14,561
- Sure thing, Goldie.
- Okay.
251
00:11:14,595 --> 00:11:17,096
- Let's go.
- One more drink.
252
00:11:20,034 --> 00:11:22,101
- Aah! Raah!
- He's a little monster!
253
00:11:22,136 --> 00:11:23,970
I'm gonna getcha, I'm gonna getcha,
254
00:11:24,004 --> 00:11:26,906
- I'm gonna getcha!
- I'm gonna get you!
255
00:11:26,941 --> 00:11:28,508
Oh, my God.
256
00:11:28,542 --> 00:11:30,944
This is the best playdate
Stuart's ever had.
257
00:11:30,978 --> 00:11:34,180
They do have chemistry, that's for sure.
258
00:11:34,215 --> 00:11:36,249
- He seems like a good kid.
- He is, he is.
259
00:11:36,283 --> 00:11:38,151
I just wish I could get him laid.
260
00:11:38,185 --> 00:11:39,619
Can you get me laid?
261
00:11:39,653 --> 00:11:41,921
Maybe we can kill two pervs with one stone.
262
00:11:41,956 --> 00:11:44,924
You deflower him. It's a win-win.
263
00:11:44,959 --> 00:11:46,993
Listen, I'm horny as fuck these days,
264
00:11:47,027 --> 00:11:48,595
but seriously, I don't think
265
00:11:48,629 --> 00:11:49,829
that kid's gonna last long enough
266
00:11:49,864 --> 00:11:51,297
for mommy to get hers.
267
00:11:51,332 --> 00:11:53,333
Maybe he needs professional help.
268
00:11:53,367 --> 00:11:55,268
What, like a therapist?
269
00:11:55,302 --> 00:11:57,437
Yeah, or a...
270
00:11:57,471 --> 00:11:58,972
[Clicking tongue]
271
00:11:59,006 --> 00:12:00,807
- Like a hooker?
- Yeah.
272
00:12:00,841 --> 00:12:03,209
Hank, I waxed a hooker today.
273
00:12:03,244 --> 00:12:05,278
She was young and cute
and totally down to fuck.
274
00:12:05,312 --> 00:12:06,446
- Really?
- Yeah.
275
00:12:06,480 --> 00:12:08,214
[Stu grunting]
276
00:12:08,249 --> 00:12:10,950
- Probably spendy.
- It's only money, right?
277
00:12:10,985 --> 00:12:13,186
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
278
00:12:13,220 --> 00:12:16,122
That kid would love you forever
if you bust his hymen like that.
279
00:12:16,156 --> 00:12:18,458
Chick was fucking bananas hot!
280
00:12:18,492 --> 00:12:19,792
This sounds too good to be true.
281
00:12:19,827 --> 00:12:21,294
- Let's just hold on a second.
- Okay.
282
00:12:21,328 --> 00:12:23,162
Just wait, wait. Whoa, whoa, whoa.
283
00:12:23,197 --> 00:12:25,231
Is this wrong?
284
00:12:25,266 --> 00:12:28,635
I can't tell anymore. I
can't fucking tell anymore.
285
00:12:28,669 --> 00:12:30,970
Me neither.
286
00:12:31,005 --> 00:12:33,306
[Laughing]
287
00:12:33,340 --> 00:12:36,109
- Let me see if she's available.
- Good idea.
288
00:12:41,282 --> 00:12:43,383
- Hello, again.
- Hi.
289
00:12:43,417 --> 00:12:45,985
Thanks for the rip this morning.
My pussy looks fantastic.
290
00:12:46,020 --> 00:12:47,720
It really does. I mean, great job!
291
00:12:47,755 --> 00:12:49,355
You could eat off the fucking thing.
292
00:12:49,390 --> 00:12:51,224
Thank you. And you are?
293
00:12:51,258 --> 00:12:52,825
Jim. Nice to meet you, sweetie.
294
00:12:52,860 --> 00:12:54,494
Oh. Nice to meet you too.
295
00:12:54,528 --> 00:12:55,695
Is this him?
296
00:12:55,729 --> 00:12:58,197
No! Ha ha! No, sorry.
297
00:12:58,232 --> 00:12:59,766
Hey, you're not supposed to get excited
298
00:12:59,800 --> 00:13:01,334
about the fucking Johns here.
299
00:13:01,368 --> 00:13:03,336
Sorry. He's a really good-looking guy.
300
00:13:03,370 --> 00:13:05,104
You must be the pimp.
301
00:13:05,139 --> 00:13:07,840
What is this, like a
fucking blaxploitation movie?
302
00:13:07,875 --> 00:13:09,909
I mean, we don't really use
that terminology anymore.
303
00:13:09,944 --> 00:13:11,277
Oh.
304
00:13:11,312 --> 00:13:12,612
Yeah, I'm more like her manager,
305
00:13:12,646 --> 00:13:13,713
the guy that you hand the money to...
306
00:13:13,747 --> 00:13:14,914
- Okay.
- Like, right now.
307
00:13:14,949 --> 00:13:16,382
Oh, oh, yeah. Sure, sure, sure.
308
00:13:16,417 --> 00:13:18,051
So how does it work? What's the split?
309
00:13:18,085 --> 00:13:19,452
My guy gets 15%,
310
00:13:19,486 --> 00:13:21,621
and his pimp hand is not strong at all.
311
00:13:21,655 --> 00:13:23,856
What are you, the Better Business Bureau?
312
00:13:23,891 --> 00:13:25,358
Don't worry about it.
313
00:13:25,392 --> 00:13:26,793
Where's this dude she's gonna fuck?
314
00:13:26,827 --> 00:13:27,794
- Hey, guys.
- Hi!
315
00:13:27,828 --> 00:13:29,228
- Karen, hello.
- Hi!
316
00:13:29,263 --> 00:13:31,230
- Hi!
- Karen! Hey, hey, hey, hey.
317
00:13:31,265 --> 00:13:33,366
Why don't you get your
guests a drink or something?
318
00:13:33,400 --> 00:13:36,235
- Yes, I'm gonna do it.
- What are you doing here?
319
00:13:36,270 --> 00:13:37,904
Um, well, you've been ducking my calls.
320
00:13:37,938 --> 00:13:39,372
I know, I know, I know.
321
00:13:39,406 --> 00:13:42,075
Okay, so I want to talk to you about Becca.
322
00:13:42,109 --> 00:13:43,409
I know. That's why I'm ducking you.
323
00:13:43,444 --> 00:13:45,011
Well, why?
324
00:13:45,045 --> 00:13:46,612
I mean, when are you
gonna tell her about Levon?
325
00:13:46,647 --> 00:13:48,448
- When is she getting back?
- In a few weeks.
326
00:13:48,482 --> 00:13:50,550
- In a few weeks, then.
- Well, Hank,
327
00:13:50,584 --> 00:13:53,386
she wants to know why
you're ducking her calls too.
328
00:13:53,420 --> 00:13:55,154
Karen, I'm not gonna
talk to her on the phone
329
00:13:55,189 --> 00:13:56,422
about this shit, okay?
330
00:13:56,457 --> 00:13:57,924
And in fact, when I do it,
331
00:13:57,958 --> 00:13:59,659
I think we should do
it together, you and I.
332
00:13:59,693 --> 00:14:00,994
- No!
- Yeah.
333
00:14:01,028 --> 00:14:03,029
No, no, no. I knew...
334
00:14:03,063 --> 00:14:04,697
I am not gonna get involved
335
00:14:04,732 --> 00:14:07,100
in your dysfunctional shit, okay?
336
00:14:07,134 --> 00:14:09,002
What is... what are you hi... what is this?
337
00:14:09,036 --> 00:14:10,336
What do you mean? What do you mean?
338
00:14:10,371 --> 00:14:11,704
Who is this?
339
00:14:11,739 --> 00:14:15,174
Marcy invited some waxing clients over.
340
00:14:15,209 --> 00:14:17,043
- Isn't that right, Marcy?
- Yeah, yeah.
341
00:14:17,077 --> 00:14:19,779
I'm having a client over for a drink.
342
00:14:19,813 --> 00:14:22,548
Okay, well, um, how come she's here so late
343
00:14:22,583 --> 00:14:24,350
and dressed so slutty?
344
00:14:24,385 --> 00:14:25,685
Maybe she's gonna get a facial.
345
00:14:25,719 --> 00:14:26,819
Right. Really?
346
00:14:26,854 --> 00:14:28,321
Does she always travel with...
347
00:14:28,355 --> 00:14:29,689
[Whispering] sex toys?
348
00:14:29,723 --> 00:14:31,691
You know, some people are not so averse
349
00:14:31,725 --> 00:14:34,260
- to, uh, rubberized help.
- That's true.
350
00:14:34,294 --> 00:14:36,529
Yay! Mission accomplished.
351
00:14:36,563 --> 00:14:38,831
Little Stuart is officially asleep.
352
00:14:38,866 --> 00:14:40,433
We read books. We played the tickle game.
353
00:14:40,467 --> 00:14:42,668
He loves the tickle game!
354
00:14:42,703 --> 00:14:44,170
I know. I also taught
him how to dutch oven.
355
00:14:44,204 --> 00:14:45,538
He loved it.
356
00:14:45,572 --> 00:14:47,373
Kid loves farts. Ooh, you did good.
357
00:14:47,408 --> 00:14:50,076
- Thanks.
- Is this him?
358
00:14:50,110 --> 00:14:52,979
Who... who's him? Who am I?
359
00:14:53,013 --> 00:14:54,647
- Who are you?
- You know what?
360
00:14:54,681 --> 00:14:56,049
Let's get this fucking
party started, all right?
361
00:14:56,083 --> 00:14:57,650
We got another appointment later.
362
00:14:57,684 --> 00:14:59,652
Okay, kid, you got to wear a rubber, okay?
363
00:14:59,686 --> 00:15:01,587
Anything off the menu
has to be approved by me.
364
00:15:01,622 --> 00:15:05,258
I mean, she's pretty open, as
you can see, but scat play...
365
00:15:05,292 --> 00:15:06,659
definitely out of the question.
366
00:15:06,693 --> 00:15:09,829
Oh, my God. You got him a hooker.
367
00:15:09,863 --> 00:15:11,197
Karen, that is ridiculous.
368
00:15:11,231 --> 00:15:14,267
Marcy was kind enough to set Levon up
369
00:15:14,301 --> 00:15:16,836
- with one of her clients.
- One of your clients?
370
00:15:16,870 --> 00:15:19,272
I'm... I'm... I'm setting him up with her.
371
00:15:19,306 --> 00:15:21,541
Look at what a cute couple
they would make, adorable.
372
00:15:21,575 --> 00:15:22,708
Marcy...
373
00:15:22,743 --> 00:15:24,243
is your client a hooker?
374
00:15:24,278 --> 00:15:26,112
Who knows what she does
for a living, Karen?
375
00:15:26,146 --> 00:15:27,580
- That's personal.
- Shut up.
376
00:15:27,614 --> 00:15:29,415
Is your client a hooker?
377
00:15:29,450 --> 00:15:31,350
- Maybe.
- Marcy!
378
00:15:31,385 --> 00:15:33,853
Hey! I am happy to help you
379
00:15:33,887 --> 00:15:36,122
try to bust your weirdo kid's cherry,
380
00:15:36,156 --> 00:15:38,724
but I will not lie to my best friend.
381
00:15:38,759 --> 00:15:41,894
Oh, my God. This is so fucking depraved.
382
00:15:41,896 --> 00:15:43,196
No, it's not.
383
00:15:43,230 --> 00:15:45,031
I-I'm performing a service here.
384
00:15:45,065 --> 00:15:47,233
This kid's... he needs
to clear this hurdle.
385
00:15:47,267 --> 00:15:49,802
He's all wired and pent-up.
He's got to get the poison out.
386
00:15:49,837 --> 00:15:52,472
- That's what Stu always says.
- It's true.
387
00:15:52,506 --> 00:15:53,873
Once you get that shit out of your system,
388
00:15:53,907 --> 00:15:55,541
then you can think clearly again.
389
00:15:55,576 --> 00:15:58,478
You... you got me a fucking hooker?
390
00:15:59,813 --> 00:16:02,548
- Maybe.
- Oh, my God, thank you so much.
391
00:16:02,583 --> 00:16:04,917
This is exactly what I thought
having a father would be like.
392
00:16:04,952 --> 00:16:07,386
Oh, no. Oh, no, I'm sorry.
393
00:16:07,421 --> 00:16:09,122
No. No, no, no, no.
394
00:16:09,156 --> 00:16:10,556
I know... I know this has,
395
00:16:10,591 --> 00:16:12,892
like, absolutely nothing to do with me,
396
00:16:12,926 --> 00:16:15,761
but... but, um, I feel that someone here
397
00:16:15,796 --> 00:16:18,598
should be representing
your mom's interests.
398
00:16:18,632 --> 00:16:20,666
- Why? That's fucking weird.
- No, no, no.
399
00:16:20,701 --> 00:16:22,335
Because she would not want you
400
00:16:22,369 --> 00:16:24,137
to lose your virginity like this.
401
00:16:24,171 --> 00:16:25,972
Oh, my God, you told her I'm a virgin?
402
00:16:26,006 --> 00:16:27,140
That's fucking embarrassing, dude!
403
00:16:27,174 --> 00:16:28,574
No, of course he didn't.
404
00:16:28,609 --> 00:16:30,109
No offense, but you don't present
405
00:16:30,144 --> 00:16:31,577
as a guy who's knee-deep
in a river of pussy.
406
00:16:31,612 --> 00:16:33,980
Yet it's all I ever think about.
407
00:16:34,014 --> 00:16:36,949
- Okay, so the first time...
it should be special, right? - Yeah.
408
00:16:36,984 --> 00:16:38,951
And it should be someone you care about,
409
00:16:38,986 --> 00:16:41,687
someone you love, you
like, at least... like.
410
00:16:41,722 --> 00:16:43,456
- Right?
- I completely agree.
411
00:16:43,490 --> 00:16:46,325
And I could easily see myself
falling in love with her.
412
00:16:46,360 --> 00:16:48,761
I totally like her right now.
Do you see what she's wearing?
413
00:16:48,795 --> 00:16:50,630
- It's...
- I do, yeah.
414
00:16:50,664 --> 00:16:52,532
But it's not something that
you would want to pay for.
415
00:16:52,566 --> 00:16:54,000
I'm not paying for anything.
416
00:16:54,034 --> 00:16:55,968
I haven't even got a paycheck yet.
417
00:16:56,003 --> 00:16:57,637
There's all these forms I'm
supposed to fill out and shit.
418
00:16:57,671 --> 00:16:59,839
Actually, can you help me out with that?
419
00:16:59,873 --> 00:17:02,475
Money's taken care of. That's no problem.
420
00:17:02,509 --> 00:17:04,110
I fucking love you, dad.
421
00:17:04,144 --> 00:17:05,778
I fucking love you too, buddy.
422
00:17:05,812 --> 00:17:07,780
No. No, no, no. Stop it, stop it.
423
00:17:07,814 --> 00:17:10,616
Look, Levon, Levon, I know
this is very confusing for you.
424
00:17:10,651 --> 00:17:12,285
I get that.
I-I-I...
425
00:17:12,319 --> 00:17:13,819
Okay, take a moment. Just take a moment.
426
00:17:13,854 --> 00:17:15,221
Just... [Exhales deeply]
427
00:17:15,255 --> 00:17:16,289
- [Exhales deeply]
- Just... yeah.
428
00:17:16,323 --> 00:17:17,623
- Breathe.
- [Exhales deeply]
429
00:17:17,658 --> 00:17:19,125
Yeah. Okay.
430
00:17:19,159 --> 00:17:21,794
- Now, think about your mother.
- Oh, gross!
431
00:17:21,828 --> 00:17:23,429
That's the last thing
I want to think about.
432
00:17:23,463 --> 00:17:25,298
No, no, no! About what she would say.
433
00:17:25,332 --> 00:17:27,099
Creepy cosby family, are
we gonna do this or what?
434
00:17:27,134 --> 00:17:29,936
It's up to you, but there's
no fucking refunds here.
435
00:17:29,970 --> 00:17:32,605
If you want a credit,
there's a 25% restocking fee.
436
00:17:32,639 --> 00:17:34,040
That's fucking steep, bro.
437
00:17:34,074 --> 00:17:35,541
Hey, it's a seller's market, dude.
438
00:17:35,576 --> 00:17:37,176
Hold... hold... hold on.
439
00:17:37,211 --> 00:17:38,611
- Karen.
- Yes!
440
00:17:38,645 --> 00:17:40,112
Do you want to fuck me?
441
00:17:40,147 --> 00:17:42,114
- No!
- Oh!
442
00:17:42,149 --> 00:17:43,516
What is wrong with you? Did you...
443
00:17:43,550 --> 00:17:44,951
I didn't raise him.
444
00:17:44,985 --> 00:17:46,986
Right now the only person in this room
445
00:17:47,020 --> 00:17:48,054
willing to fuck me is the one getting paid.
446
00:17:48,088 --> 00:17:49,455
Oh.
447
00:17:49,489 --> 00:17:51,157
And I think I'm okay with that.
448
00:17:51,191 --> 00:17:52,692
You know what? In fact, I'm
more than okay with that.
449
00:17:52,726 --> 00:17:54,794
I'm super fucking psyched. I'm doing this.
450
00:17:54,828 --> 00:17:56,796
Okay.
451
00:17:56,830 --> 00:17:58,564
- Hey, dad?
- Yeah.
452
00:17:58,599 --> 00:18:02,368
- The clit's on top, right?
- Last I checked, yeah.
453
00:18:03,670 --> 00:18:05,871
Okay.
454
00:18:05,906 --> 00:18:07,807
There you go, you lean there.
455
00:18:07,841 --> 00:18:10,576
I'll get the door.
456
00:18:12,779 --> 00:18:15,414
Good job.
457
00:18:15,449 --> 00:18:19,218
[Sighs deeply]
458
00:18:19,253 --> 00:18:21,387
Okay!
459
00:18:21,421 --> 00:18:26,158
[Clears throat] Here we go.
460
00:18:26,193 --> 00:18:29,528
Hey! What are you doing?
461
00:18:29,563 --> 00:18:33,199
I'm... I'm driving you home.
462
00:18:33,233 --> 00:18:37,503
Uh, no. No, not in your car...
463
00:18:37,537 --> 00:18:39,205
In my car.
464
00:18:39,239 --> 00:18:41,240
How am I supposed to get to work tomorrow?
465
00:18:41,275 --> 00:18:44,076
Well, how am I gonna get home tonight?
466
00:18:44,111 --> 00:18:47,446
I don't give a fuck. That's your problem.
467
00:18:47,481 --> 00:18:50,216
You can take a fucking
rickshaw, for all I care.
468
00:18:50,250 --> 00:18:52,551
No, you take me home. You walk me in.
469
00:18:52,586 --> 00:18:54,253
You make sure that I am safe.
470
00:18:54,288 --> 00:18:56,222
And then you need to position me
471
00:18:56,256 --> 00:18:58,157
so that I don't choke on my own vomit.
472
00:18:58,191 --> 00:19:00,026
Okay, okay.
473
00:19:00,060 --> 00:19:01,994
If that's what you need, sure.
474
00:19:02,029 --> 00:19:03,496
Hold on. That's not a good idea,
475
00:19:03,530 --> 00:19:05,898
because then you're gonna get in my house.
476
00:19:05,932 --> 00:19:08,668
You'll want to take advantage
of me in my inebriated state.
477
00:19:08,702 --> 00:19:10,703
I would never do something like that.
478
00:19:10,737 --> 00:19:15,007
Oh, I'm not hot enough
to take advantage of.
479
00:19:15,042 --> 00:19:17,543
No, no! You're plenty hot, Goldie.
480
00:19:17,577 --> 00:19:20,880
You're... you're crazy hot!
481
00:19:20,914 --> 00:19:22,748
Thank you. I appreciate it.
482
00:19:22,783 --> 00:19:25,017
Thank you for taking care of me tonight.
483
00:19:25,052 --> 00:19:26,585
- I really appreciate it.
- You know what?
484
00:19:26,620 --> 00:19:28,254
That's just what I do, okay?
485
00:19:28,288 --> 00:19:31,090
That's full-service management, all right?
486
00:19:31,124 --> 00:19:33,225
Curb to curb.
487
00:19:33,260 --> 00:19:37,530
You know, if someone would've told me
488
00:19:37,564 --> 00:19:41,701
that I was gonna be represented one day...
489
00:19:41,735 --> 00:19:44,236
[Sighs] by the masturbating agent,
490
00:19:44,271 --> 00:19:49,542
I would've just shit my panties.
491
00:19:49,576 --> 00:19:51,711
Wonders never cease.
492
00:19:51,745 --> 00:19:53,312
Can I ask you something?
493
00:19:53,347 --> 00:19:55,481
What made you want to throw it all away
494
00:19:55,515 --> 00:19:58,984
for a couple of random jerk-off sessions?
495
00:19:59,019 --> 00:20:02,788
I guess it's just the very same thing
496
00:20:02,823 --> 00:20:06,492
that makes me such a great representative.
497
00:20:06,526 --> 00:20:09,929
I'm ready to burn it all
down at a moment's notice.
498
00:20:09,963 --> 00:20:14,233
Oh, burn it all down. I like that.
499
00:20:14,267 --> 00:20:16,068
Burn it all down.
500
00:20:16,103 --> 00:20:18,771
I'm gonna get that in a
tattoo on my bikini line.
501
00:20:18,805 --> 00:20:20,439
We should get tattoos. Let's go.
502
00:20:20,474 --> 00:20:22,508
No! No.
503
00:20:22,542 --> 00:20:25,311
You never get a tattoo under the influence.
504
00:20:25,345 --> 00:20:28,981
That's how you wind up with
a butterfly tramp stamp.
505
00:20:29,015 --> 00:20:31,584
[Both laughing]
506
00:20:31,618 --> 00:20:34,120
You're funny. You're funny.
507
00:20:34,154 --> 00:20:35,621
- Okay.
- You're really funny.
508
00:20:35,655 --> 00:20:38,391
Give me a hug.
509
00:20:38,425 --> 00:20:42,061
You know, I could feel
you getting hard last week
510
00:20:42,095 --> 00:20:43,562
when we were hugging.
511
00:20:43,597 --> 00:20:46,265
I'm sorry about that.
512
00:20:46,299 --> 00:20:49,402
You're getting hard right now, aren't you?
513
00:20:49,436 --> 00:20:51,904
Why does this keep happening to me?
514
00:20:51,938 --> 00:20:55,941
[Stomach gurgling]
515
00:20:55,976 --> 00:20:58,544
Oh, shit. I don't feel so good.
516
00:20:58,578 --> 00:21:02,581
- Oh.
- [Gagging]
517
00:21:02,616 --> 00:21:04,350
Okay.
518
00:21:04,384 --> 00:21:06,619
- It's okay.
- Okay.
519
00:21:06,653 --> 00:21:08,187
[Retches]
520
00:21:08,221 --> 00:21:10,256
- [Sighs]
- Oh.
521
00:21:10,290 --> 00:21:11,924
Sorry.
522
00:21:11,958 --> 00:21:14,093
I think I'm allergic to sulfites.
523
00:21:14,127 --> 00:21:15,961
I'm so sorry.
524
00:21:15,996 --> 00:21:19,598
My first time wasn't special at all.
525
00:21:19,633 --> 00:21:22,802
Dude kissed me a couple of times,
526
00:21:22,836 --> 00:21:25,137
paid zero attention to my tits,
527
00:21:25,172 --> 00:21:28,374
licked me twice, stuck it in once,
528
00:21:28,408 --> 00:21:30,376
panicked, pulled out,
529
00:21:30,410 --> 00:21:32,445
and shot a load all over my thigh.
530
00:21:32,479 --> 00:21:34,013
Fun stuff.
531
00:21:34,047 --> 00:21:37,683
Well, at least it got you
prepared for Papa Runks.
532
00:21:37,717 --> 00:21:39,718
What was your first time like, pretty lady?
533
00:21:39,753 --> 00:21:41,954
Shut up.
534
00:21:41,988 --> 00:21:43,489
You looking to make any extra money?
535
00:21:43,523 --> 00:21:46,959
I could turn you out, no problem.
536
00:21:46,993 --> 00:21:49,462
You're a feisty one. I like that.
537
00:21:49,496 --> 00:21:51,730
Nice.
538
00:21:53,600 --> 00:21:55,167
Karen...
539
00:21:55,202 --> 00:21:57,203
Karen. I'm sorry about that.
540
00:21:57,237 --> 00:21:59,205
You know, I don't know what's worse...
541
00:21:59,239 --> 00:22:00,639
what's going on here tonight,
542
00:22:00,674 --> 00:22:02,475
which is absolutely fucking disgusting,
543
00:22:02,509 --> 00:22:04,510
or the fact that I don't
even know who you are anymore.
544
00:22:04,544 --> 00:22:06,045
That's not fair.
545
00:22:06,079 --> 00:22:07,580
If we had a son, we'd most probably
546
00:22:07,614 --> 00:22:09,548
be having the same conversation,
547
00:22:09,583 --> 00:22:11,851
and I would probably
feel exactly the same way.
548
00:22:11,885 --> 00:22:13,819
If we had a son, I would never, ever
549
00:22:13,854 --> 00:22:15,421
let you do something like this.
550
00:22:15,455 --> 00:22:17,723
Karen, it's just sex. What's the big deal?
551
00:22:17,757 --> 00:22:20,392
But it's not just sex.
That's the whole point.
552
00:22:20,427 --> 00:22:24,396
You're teaching him to
degrade and objectify women,
553
00:22:24,431 --> 00:22:26,832
that they exist solely
to satisfy his urges,
554
00:22:26,867 --> 00:22:29,502
when you could, in fact, be teaching him
555
00:22:29,536 --> 00:22:33,772
that the best kind of sex
comes from making a connection.
556
00:22:33,807 --> 00:22:37,042
I agree with you. I do.
557
00:22:37,077 --> 00:22:39,278
It's just, there are all
different types of sex
558
00:22:39,312 --> 00:22:40,713
to be had,
559
00:22:40,747 --> 00:22:42,815
and who says he has to make sweet love
560
00:22:42,849 --> 00:22:44,383
his very first time out the gate?
561
00:22:44,417 --> 00:22:45,985
Hi.
562
00:22:46,019 --> 00:22:48,187
- Hank, is it?
- Yeah.
563
00:22:48,221 --> 00:22:52,992
Um, could you come in here for a second?
564
00:22:53,026 --> 00:22:54,360
[Door closes]
565
00:22:59,633 --> 00:23:02,067
Hey, it's more for a threesome.
566
00:23:02,102 --> 00:23:04,336
Just saying.
567
00:23:04,371 --> 00:23:05,838
What's up?
568
00:23:05,872 --> 00:23:07,239
I think your boy's a little nervous.
569
00:23:07,274 --> 00:23:08,908
That's totally understandable.
570
00:23:08,942 --> 00:23:10,543
I asked him to unwrap my dress,
571
00:23:10,577 --> 00:23:13,012
and then he almost passed out.
572
00:23:13,046 --> 00:23:16,448
I'm dizzy, Hank. I'm
shaking like a leaf, man.
573
00:23:16,483 --> 00:23:18,450
Is... is it possible I'm
having a heart attack?
574
00:23:18,485 --> 00:23:20,419
- Here, feel.
- Mm. Mm-mm.
575
00:23:20,453 --> 00:23:22,221
Maybe there's an
underlying medical condition
576
00:23:22,255 --> 00:23:23,622
or something I don't even know about.
577
00:23:23,657 --> 00:23:25,691
M-m-maybe I should
go see a doctor.
578
00:23:25,725 --> 00:23:27,459
Maybe we made a mistake here.
579
00:23:27,494 --> 00:23:29,094
May... maybe Karen's right.
580
00:23:29,129 --> 00:23:30,596
Maybe this isn't the way
581
00:23:30,630 --> 00:23:32,698
it's supposed to go down for me, you know?
582
00:23:32,732 --> 00:23:34,366
Maybe I'm supposed to meet a nice girl
583
00:23:34,401 --> 00:23:36,869
and somehow sweet-talk her
into letting me foul her.
584
00:23:36,903 --> 00:23:38,704
You don't have to go
through with this, you know,
585
00:23:38,738 --> 00:23:40,272
not at all.
586
00:23:40,307 --> 00:23:42,408
You... you wouldn't be disappointed in me?
587
00:23:42,442 --> 00:23:44,209
No way, never.
588
00:23:44,244 --> 00:23:46,045
God, I'm so fucking lame,
589
00:23:46,079 --> 00:23:47,713
and you're such a fucking baller.
590
00:23:47,747 --> 00:23:49,748
You are not lame in the slightest.
591
00:23:49,783 --> 00:23:51,417
You're a bright, interesting kid,
592
00:23:51,451 --> 00:23:53,118
and you got a shitload
of love in your heart.
593
00:23:53,153 --> 00:23:54,954
I do.
594
00:23:54,988 --> 00:23:57,323
You've made the past few weeks
of my life very interesting.
595
00:23:57,357 --> 00:23:59,825
- I'm happy to know you.
- Oh, thanks, Dad.
596
00:23:59,859 --> 00:24:03,162
- All right.
- Aw, guys...
597
00:24:03,196 --> 00:24:06,098
This is maybe one of the
sweetest fucking things
598
00:24:06,132 --> 00:24:07,566
I've ever seen.
599
00:24:07,601 --> 00:24:09,268
But I have another appointment to get to.
600
00:24:09,302 --> 00:24:10,869
So, if we're not gonna do this,
601
00:24:10,904 --> 00:24:12,271
then I'm just gonna grab
my double-sided dildo,
602
00:24:12,305 --> 00:24:13,606
and I'm just gonna go.
603
00:24:13,640 --> 00:24:15,240
What do you think?
604
00:24:15,275 --> 00:24:16,742
What do you think?
605
00:24:16,776 --> 00:24:18,577
- What do you think?
- I don't know.
606
00:24:18,612 --> 00:24:20,379
Here's what I think.
607
00:24:24,951 --> 00:24:26,919
Oh.
608
00:24:26,953 --> 00:24:30,255
That's what she thinks.
609
00:24:30,290 --> 00:24:32,324
So what's it gonna be?
610
00:24:34,794 --> 00:24:37,096
Get the fuck out of here, okay?
611
00:24:37,130 --> 00:24:40,265
Gone.
612
00:24:40,300 --> 00:24:42,468
Oh, and if you find
yourself getting too excited,
613
00:24:42,502 --> 00:24:43,936
just think about your grandfather
614
00:24:43,971 --> 00:24:45,470
and peeing in his colostomy bag,
615
00:24:45,505 --> 00:24:47,840
works like a charm. Trust!
616
00:24:52,545 --> 00:24:54,279
Hi.
617
00:24:57,751 --> 00:25:00,452
What's going on?
618
00:25:00,487 --> 00:25:03,622
Uh, well, Levon is losing
his virginity to a hooker
619
00:25:03,657 --> 00:25:06,291
in the guest room right now.
620
00:25:06,326 --> 00:25:08,293
Good for him.
621
00:25:08,328 --> 00:25:09,995
Good for him.
622
00:25:10,030 --> 00:25:12,131
- And who are you?
- He's the pimp.
623
00:25:12,165 --> 00:25:14,433
Jesus Christ.
624
00:25:14,467 --> 00:25:16,802
I handle the fucking money,
and I keep her safe from creeps.
625
00:25:16,836 --> 00:25:18,504
Don't be such a condescending prick.
626
00:25:18,538 --> 00:25:20,272
He's the pimp?
627
00:25:20,306 --> 00:25:22,741
Did you piss your pants or something?
628
00:25:22,776 --> 00:25:25,477
Done deal.
629
00:25:25,512 --> 00:25:27,746
Another happy customer.
630
00:25:27,781 --> 00:25:30,215
Kid's got a sick fucking
hog on him, by the way.
631
00:25:30,250 --> 00:25:31,650
Hey, you're not supposed to get excited
632
00:25:31,685 --> 00:25:32,918
about their fucking cocks.
633
00:25:32,952 --> 00:25:34,386
Well, what?
634
00:25:34,421 --> 00:25:35,821
Some of them are better
and nicer than others.
635
00:25:35,855 --> 00:25:37,222
It's a fact.
636
00:25:37,257 --> 00:25:39,625
I had such a fun time, sweetie!
637
00:25:39,659 --> 00:25:42,061
Call me anytime. Tweet me, whatever.
638
00:25:42,095 --> 00:25:43,262
I will. Definitely.
639
00:25:43,296 --> 00:25:44,596
You definitely will not!
640
00:25:44,631 --> 00:25:46,231
That shit's expensive.
641
00:25:46,266 --> 00:25:48,901
Well, we offer a frequent-flyer discount.
642
00:25:48,935 --> 00:25:51,403
Peace out, weirdos.
643
00:25:51,438 --> 00:25:52,771
Bye, you honey!
644
00:25:52,806 --> 00:25:55,441
Bye, Marcy. Thank you.
645
00:25:55,475 --> 00:25:57,609
[Grunts] Take me to bed, Runks.
646
00:25:57,644 --> 00:25:59,244
I haven't been laid in so long,
647
00:25:59,279 --> 00:26:01,280
I'm starting to feel
like a born-again virgin.
648
00:26:01,314 --> 00:26:03,816
I'm not feeling very amorous, Marcy.
649
00:26:03,850 --> 00:26:06,418
My new client puked into my crotch tonight.
650
00:26:06,453 --> 00:26:10,089
- Yeah, I can smell it.
- Have a seat, Harpo.
651
00:26:10,123 --> 00:26:11,990
Ah, man.
652
00:26:12,025 --> 00:26:15,260
- How you feeling?
- Amazing. Amazing.
653
00:26:15,295 --> 00:26:17,596
It's like my head is so
fucking clear right now,
654
00:26:17,630 --> 00:26:18,964
you know?
655
00:26:18,998 --> 00:26:20,499
It feel like I understand the relationship
656
00:26:20,533 --> 00:26:22,101
between shit in the universe a lot better.
657
00:26:22,135 --> 00:26:23,635
I feel like I could honestly solve
658
00:26:23,670 --> 00:26:25,204
some of the world's bigger problems.
659
00:26:25,238 --> 00:26:27,272
- You got the poison out.
- Yes. Exactly.
660
00:26:27,307 --> 00:26:28,707
Yeah.
661
00:26:28,742 --> 00:26:30,008
How long's this feeling gonna last?
662
00:26:30,043 --> 00:26:32,344
- About six or seven minutes.
- Shit.
663
00:26:32,378 --> 00:26:34,379
Better enjoy it, then.
664
00:26:34,414 --> 00:26:37,649
Oh, hey, that thing with my
grandpa and the colostomy bag
665
00:26:37,684 --> 00:26:39,051
totally worked.
666
00:26:39,085 --> 00:26:41,720
How'd you know he had a bag?
667
00:26:41,755 --> 00:26:43,188
- What?
- You know how you
668
00:26:43,223 --> 00:26:44,723
tell your mother everything, you said?
669
00:26:44,758 --> 00:26:46,391
Are you gonna tell her about this?
670
00:26:46,426 --> 00:26:47,960
- No. No fucking way.
- Okay.
671
00:26:47,994 --> 00:26:49,862
Karen was right. She
would be totally pissed
672
00:26:49,896 --> 00:26:51,296
- and think it was all fucking gross
- Yeah.
673
00:26:51,331 --> 00:26:52,698
and misogynistic and shit.
674
00:26:52,732 --> 00:26:53,966
Okay, well, that's good to know.
675
00:26:54,000 --> 00:26:55,968
Yeah. Hey, dad?
676
00:26:56,002 --> 00:26:57,536
- Yeah?
- Thanks again.
677
00:26:57,570 --> 00:27:00,172
This was truly an epic
fucking night in the life,
678
00:27:00,206 --> 00:27:02,374
and I will never, ever
forget it, obviously.
679
00:27:02,408 --> 00:27:04,309
You're welcome. You're welcome.
680
00:27:04,344 --> 00:27:07,246
That's a wet one.
681
00:27:07,280 --> 00:27:09,548
You better get me a
kick-ass father's day gift.
682
00:27:09,582 --> 00:27:11,416
Oh, you know I will.
683
00:27:11,451 --> 00:27:13,519
In fact, I think I'm gonna
book you some time with Nikki.
684
00:27:13,553 --> 00:27:15,487
She did this thing with her vagina.
685
00:27:15,522 --> 00:27:19,858
- It was talking to my dick.
- That's too much.
686
00:27:21,127 --> 00:27:22,861
- Smell my fingers.
- Go to bed.
687
00:27:22,896 --> 00:27:24,563
Okay.
688
00:27:24,597 --> 00:27:28,167
♪ Well, he went out to
dinner in his Sunday best ♪
689
00:27:28,201 --> 00:27:32,065
♪ Excitable boy, they all said ♪
690
00:27:32,100 --> 00:27:37,100
Sync and corrections by explosiveskull
www.addic7ed.com
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