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1
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Hey fellas.
2
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Oh hey Jimmy, hey Timmy.
3
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Timmy!!!
4
00:00:37,954 --> 00:00:41,920
Say fellas, JImmy and I were wondering if maybe
you would come and cheer for us next Sssaturday.
5
00:00:41,959 --> 00:00:44,381
We're both competing in
the Special Olympics down in Denver.
6
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The Special Olympics? What's so special about them?
7
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They're Olympic games for handicapped people.
8
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Dude, what?
9
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Timmy and I are competing in a variety of events.
10
00:00:52,503 --> 00:00:53,872
Yeah sure, we'll come cheer you and Timmy on.
11
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Yeah, that'd be cool.
12
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Thanks a lot, fellas. Well, we gotta get down to
the training center and start working out.
13
00:00:58,475 --> 00:01:00,868
Word is we have a lot of
ssstiff competition this year.
14
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Well all right, we'll see you on Saturday, guys.
15
00:01:02,597 --> 00:01:03,220
Timmy!!!
16
00:01:05,222 --> 00:01:07,722
Dude. I can't believe they exploit
handicapped people like this.
17
00:01:07,722 --> 00:01:11,034
I mean making them compete against
each other just for our amusement.
18
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...You're an asshole, Cartman.
19
00:01:13,453 --> 00:01:13,995
What? What did I do?
20
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...six!...
21
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Timmih.
22
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Usss-usss-seven!
23
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Timmih. Timmih!
24
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Usss-usss-seven!
25
00:01:27,212 --> 00:01:28,307
Timmih! Timmiiih!
26
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Ni-I can'-I can't!
27
00:01:32,004 --> 00:01:32,499
Huff. Oh man.
28
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Gee whiz, Timmy. It looks like we have some
ppppretty stiff competition this year.
29
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All of the special athletes seem to be in tip-top condition,
and I can't even get past seven ru-reps
30
00:01:44,104 --> 00:01:48,527
Huhh oh well, that's it for me, Timmy.
I'm p-p--p-pooped. I'll see you in the locker room.
31
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Otimmih.
32
00:01:50,051 --> 00:01:51,831
Hey Jimmy, g-good luck on Saturday.
33
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You too, Francis.
34
00:01:55,048 --> 00:01:55,975
Hey Jimmy.
35
00:01:56,562 --> 00:01:57,731
Oh hey hey, n-Nathan.
36
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So uh, I see you train pretty hard.
37
00:02:01,469 --> 00:02:02,630
Yeah, it sure is tough.
38
00:02:02,630 --> 00:02:06,714
I'm training really hard, but I'm not improvingfast enough,
and the Special Olympics are a... week away.
39
00:02:06,738 --> 00:02:11,307
Wellll, maybe I can- help you out
You know, there are shortcuts.
40
00:02:13,266 --> 00:02:14,174
What kind of shortcuts?
41
00:02:14,769 --> 00:02:17,325
You know. Steroids.
42
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S-s--ss-s-s-steroids?
43
00:02:27,082 --> 00:02:28,271
...But aren't those illegal?
44
00:02:28,908 --> 00:02:33,084
Yeah, sure, but these are new. They
don't show up in our urine tests.
45
00:02:34,435 --> 00:02:36,354
So uh, ha-how do they... w-wwork?
46
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You just take one of these little blue babies
47
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three times a day
48
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and inject this directly into your bloodstream
49
00:02:44,629 --> 00:02:45,980
twice a day before meals.
50
00:02:47,438 --> 00:02:48,426
How much would this cost me?
51
00:02:49,193 --> 00:02:54,849
Ahhh it isn't cheap. I've gotta keep vice off
my back and secure shipments from overseas.
52
00:02:57,806 --> 00:03:02,430
Well... then maybe I'll just use them a-al-little
bit. You know, as a per-formance en...hancer.
53
00:03:02,897 --> 00:03:05,360
Oh, whatever you say, Jimmy my friend.
54
00:03:06,014 --> 00:03:07,320
Whatever you say.
55
00:03:11,455 --> 00:03:15,712
YOU GUYS! YOU GUYS! I have the best
idea ever! I'm gonna be rich!
56
00:03:16,257 --> 00:03:16,582
What?
57
00:03:16,983 --> 00:03:20,520
Dude, I was just looking at the Special Olympics brochure,
and check this shit out:
58
00:03:20,520 --> 00:03:27,901
"At the end of the Special Olympics, a Grand Champion Special Athlete
is crowned and given a cash prize of $1000"
59
00:03:29,914 --> 00:03:30,413
So?
60
00:03:30,814 --> 00:03:32,863
So?? So dude, think about it.
61
00:03:32,863 --> 00:03:38,166
If somebody just pretended to be mentally handicapped
they could easily win the competition and get the thousand bucks!
62
00:03:38,190 --> 00:03:39,558
Oh no. Cartman, no!
63
00:03:40,272 --> 00:03:44,961
It's flawless! I'll act like I have a disability, and when the time
come to compete I'll kick ass against all the handicappeds!
64
00:03:45,531 --> 00:03:47,250
That's really, really terrible, dude.
65
00:03:47,699 --> 00:03:52,189
Terrible?? Whatever! You guys's brains just can't compute
complex plans like mine can! It'll work, you'll see.
66
00:03:53,302 --> 00:03:56,926
Cartman! I will not stand by and let you cheat
your way to winning the Special Olympics!
67
00:03:57,766 --> 00:03:58,186
Why?
68
00:03:58,637 --> 00:03:59,349
Because.
69
00:03:59,457 --> 00:04:00,984
What are you gonna do, Kyle? Tell on me?
70
00:04:01,227 --> 00:04:03,362
Then you'll be a great big no-good double-faced
poopy-pants tattle-tale!
71
00:04:03,700 --> 00:04:06,457
Is that really how you deal with
your problems?! Grow up, Kyle!
72
00:04:09,580 --> 00:04:13,184
All I have to do is make people think I'm handicapped,
and I get a thousand dollars.
73
00:04:13,184 --> 00:04:15,994
It won't be easy,
but nothing worth having ever is.
74
00:05:30,555 --> 00:05:34,312
Darrrr. Durrrr. I wanna be in the Special Olympics.
75
00:05:36,058 --> 00:05:36,980
Bull's eye!
76
00:05:54,173 --> 00:05:55,931
Oh! Agh! Just, just a second!
77
00:05:59,813 --> 00:06:01,352
Hang on, I'm I'm, coming.
78
00:06:04,795 --> 00:06:05,667
Jim, it's your father!
79
00:06:06,362 --> 00:06:08,443
I said I'm coming!
Give me a Goddamned s-second!
80
00:06:14,479 --> 00:06:16,491
Jimmy, were you masturbating?
81
00:06:17,552 --> 00:06:18,231
Nn-no, Dad.
82
00:06:18,561 --> 00:06:20,293
Okay. Well, you have a visitor.
83
00:06:21,224 --> 00:06:22,072
Hi Jimmy.
84
00:06:22,380 --> 00:06:23,954
Oh. Hi, N-N-Nancy.
85
00:06:24,606 --> 00:06:26,377
I was hoping we would study for
the spelling test tomorrow.
86
00:06:26,830 --> 00:06:27,801
Oh. Sure thing. Come on in.
87
00:06:28,478 --> 00:06:29,832
I didn't know you had a girlfriend, Jim.
88
00:06:30,201 --> 00:06:32,413
Yeah, Dad. We've been going out since
we met in Free Period last week.
89
00:06:33,024 --> 00:06:34,108
I'll leave you two alone.
90
00:06:35,188 --> 00:06:38,524
Y-you sure you weren't masturbating
Jim? It's okay if you were.
91
00:06:38,623 --> 00:06:39,562
Dad, Jesus C-Christ!
92
00:06:40,103 --> 00:06:40,784
Okay then.
93
00:06:46,625 --> 00:06:48,894
Drrrrrrey drrrrrrrey.
94
00:06:49,799 --> 00:06:52,451
Hey guys, what's going on? Drrrrrt.
95
00:06:53,889 --> 00:06:54,853
God damn you!
96
00:06:56,168 --> 00:07:00,185
You see, gentlemen? The Special Olympics Championship
and my one thousand dollars is just four days away.
97
00:07:00,481 --> 00:07:01,681
I'm going to go sign up now.
98
00:07:02,081 --> 00:07:02,688
No you're not!
99
00:07:03,137 --> 00:07:05,562
I read the brochure, Cartman!
If you're under eighteen,
100
00:07:05,592 --> 00:07:08,018
you have to have a parent with
you to sign up for the Special Olympics.
101
00:07:08,387 --> 00:07:08,731
What??
102
00:07:09,686 --> 00:07:12,833
It says right there
"a parent has to be with you to sign up,"
103
00:07:12,891 --> 00:07:16,030
and you'll never get your mom to agree
to something so horrible, so HA!
104
00:07:21,308 --> 00:07:22,488
Moooommmmm?
105
00:07:23,223 --> 00:07:23,808
Yes, hon?
106
00:07:24,185 --> 00:07:26,952
Um, could I get you to do something for me?
107
00:07:27,563 --> 00:07:28,639
What's that, hon?
108
00:07:29,197 --> 00:07:36,338
Um, okay. This is goin' ta sound a little strange.
Um, but, stick with me. Um, moommm?
109
00:07:36,338 --> 00:07:39,770
Would you mind coming with me
to sign up for the Special Olympics
110
00:07:39,770 --> 00:07:42,730
so I can beat all the handicapped kids
and win a thousand dollars?
111
00:07:43,588 --> 00:07:49,032
Oh... Nno, sweetie. I believe those Olympics
are just for ..."special" children.
112
00:07:49,531 --> 00:07:52,087
I'm not special? I thoght you always said I was special.
113
00:07:52,598 --> 00:07:56,001
You are, hon, but... I don't think that's a very good idea.
114
00:07:59,709 --> 00:08:00,132
...I'll split the money with you.
115
00:08:01,214 --> 00:08:03,808
...I'm sorry, Eric. The answer is No.
116
00:08:09,620 --> 00:08:12,447
All right, Mom, look. Here's ...the truth.
117
00:08:13,490 --> 00:08:15,038
God, this is gonna be hard to say.
118
00:08:16,192 --> 00:08:19,940
I think, Mom, that I've been hard on some of
the handicapped kids at school in the past.
119
00:08:20,689 --> 00:08:24,528
I've sometimes looked at people with disabilities as people
God put here on earth for my amusement, but...
120
00:08:25,175 --> 00:08:29,000
now I'm starting to think...
that if I could just spend one day in their shoes,
121
00:08:29,387 --> 00:08:33,944
...if I could just see the challenges they face every day,
...mauye I wouldn't be so cold.
122
00:08:34,981 --> 00:08:36,429
I just want a chance to change.
123
00:08:37,708 --> 00:08:39,201
Help me change?
124
00:08:40,934 --> 00:08:44,111
Oh, a-a-all right, sweetie,
I, I'll take you tomorrow.
125
00:08:44,783 --> 00:08:45,701
Awesome.
126
00:08:47,947 --> 00:08:51,428
You did a great job in the 500, Timmy
You really im-...p-p-proved.
127
00:08:51,780 --> 00:08:52,438
Timmih!!!
128
00:08:52,977 --> 00:08:57,214
I think I really got a shot at the gold in the swimming competition.
Coach says I'm the fastest he's ever seen.
129
00:08:57,246 --> 00:09:01,052
Well, I'll see you nice and early for p-practice,
Tim-tim. Oh, uh, can you hand me my bag?
130
00:09:01,340 --> 00:09:02,175
Timmih!
131
00:09:11,259 --> 00:09:11,893
Tim-Tim?
132
00:09:13,092 --> 00:09:16,540
Oh, uh, so... hey Timmy... uh hu-how about
we go out for a d-d-ddoughnut later?
133
00:09:21,156 --> 00:09:22,524
I'll uh, I-I'll see you later, Tim-Tim.
134
00:09:23,302 --> 00:09:24,021
Timmih...
135
00:09:25,983 --> 00:09:28,990
Look it's really none of your b...b-b...beeswax, Timmy!
136
00:09:29,608 --> 00:09:31,598
Timmih. Timmih!
137
00:09:32,122 --> 00:09:34,937
Because I, maybe I don't have what it
takes to win with uhwithout them!
138
00:09:37,430 --> 00:09:38,098
Timmih.
139
00:09:38,996 --> 00:09:40,740
T... T-Timmih.
140
00:09:41,178 --> 00:09:43,235
You you aren't gonna... tell anybody, are you?
141
00:09:43,808 --> 00:09:45,423
Huh! Timmih! T-Timmih!
142
00:09:45,914 --> 00:09:48,456
Look, it's my body
and it's my choice what I put in it!
143
00:09:48,757 --> 00:09:50,934
Timmih! Timmih, Jimmih.
144
00:09:51,192 --> 00:09:51,634
Arrrh Timmih!
145
00:09:52,019 --> 00:09:52,768
Jimmih!
146
00:09:53,150 --> 00:09:55,327
Don't lecture me on
the complexities of sportsmanship.
147
00:09:55,387 --> 00:09:58,503
You know as well as I do most of the kids
in Special Olympics aren't shooting up to compete.
148
00:09:58,503 --> 00:09:59,902
I'm just trying to k-keep up.
149
00:10:01,040 --> 00:10:02,739
Huh... Timmih...
150
00:10:03,651 --> 00:10:04,466
Timmih.
151
00:10:04,903 --> 00:10:08,521
Sssso what are you gonna do now, huh?! You gonna be a fuckin'
narc and show that bbottle to the ...coaches?!
152
00:10:16,975 --> 00:10:20,401
Don't think you're any better than me, Timmy
I'm just living in the real world!
153
00:10:27,543 --> 00:10:28,307
Timmih!
154
00:10:30,543 --> 00:10:31,751
Aaagyaaaaah Timmih!
155
00:10:33,131 --> 00:10:35,409
All right, thirty yards, Timmy! Keep it up!
156
00:10:36,038 --> 00:10:37,293
Oowrrr! Timmih! Livilaye!
157
00:10:38,703 --> 00:10:39,953
Yyyeess!
158
00:10:41,365 --> 00:10:41,769
Grrrr!
159
00:10:42,164 --> 00:10:47,529
Wohuhow, Jimmy, I can't believe how much you've improved
You're bigger and stronger than I've ever seen you!
160
00:10:47,841 --> 00:10:49,672
Yeah, I've been working out... r-r-really hard.
161
00:10:50,150 --> 00:10:53,243
You keep going like this and you'll break
Special Olympics records on Saturday!
162
00:10:56,054 --> 00:10:58,223
Okay, so this is all the stuff
we need to sign Michael in?
163
00:11:00,237 --> 00:11:01,750
Yup. Just take the sign-up sheet down to the
next table and we'll get it all finalized.
164
00:11:02,092 --> 00:11:03,047
Thank you very much.
165
00:11:03,367 --> 00:11:04,770
Thank you! Good luck, Michael.
166
00:11:05,433 --> 00:11:05,916
Thanks.
167
00:11:05,958 --> 00:11:07,529
Okay, next in line please?
168
00:11:07,768 --> 00:11:09,721
Naaaa! Daaaaa!
169
00:11:09,956 --> 00:11:10,774
Hello there.
170
00:11:11,379 --> 00:11:15,092
Hello. Um, I would like to...
sign my son up, please.
171
00:11:15,786 --> 00:11:16,420
Naaaa!
172
00:11:17,521 --> 00:11:18,639
Oh, great! What's his name?
173
00:11:19,106 --> 00:11:20,593
Eric Cartman.
174
00:11:20,986 --> 00:11:23,499
Caaartmaaan! Daaaaa!
175
00:11:24,677 --> 00:11:25,889
Okay. Age?
176
00:11:26,413 --> 00:11:27,031
He's nine.
177
00:11:27,621 --> 00:11:29,110
O-kay, and what's his disability?
178
00:11:30,231 --> 00:11:32,052
...Um, he's retarded.
179
00:11:34,737 --> 00:11:38,266
...Nno, I'm asking what his specific condition
is. Down's Syndrome? Cerebral palsy?
180
00:11:39,245 --> 00:11:41,313
Ohhh, oh. I'm not sure.
181
00:11:41,875 --> 00:11:44,131
Sweetie, what is yoru condition?
182
00:11:45,581 --> 00:11:47,954
...How should I know?
I'm retarded. Daaaaa!
183
00:11:49,850 --> 00:11:51,531
I'll just leave that blank for now.
184
00:12:09,689 --> 00:12:11,568
Oh, hi Timmy. Come on in.
185
00:12:12,817 --> 00:12:16,134
I understand you have somethin' important
you wanna talk to me about, m'kay?
186
00:12:17,914 --> 00:12:18,552
Timmy.
187
00:12:20,105 --> 00:12:24,582
Well, Timmy, as your counselor, I want you to
know that you can tell me anything hm'kay?
188
00:12:24,620 --> 00:12:27,869
And whatever's troublin' you,
I wanna try and, and help you with it.
189
00:12:30,921 --> 00:12:31,348
N, Timmy.
190
00:12:33,403 --> 00:12:37,870
Mhm'kay, right, you're Timmy.
...You, you have a problem?
191
00:12:38,324 --> 00:12:40,127
No Timmy, Jimmy.
192
00:12:40,994 --> 00:12:42,433
Ji-Jimmy?
193
00:12:42,992 --> 00:12:43,709
Haaa!
194
00:12:44,683 --> 00:12:45,338
Oh, oh!
195
00:12:48,596 --> 00:12:49,058
Jimmy.
196
00:12:49,880 --> 00:12:52,307
Oh, Jimmy Valmer!
Oh, okay, what about him?
197
00:12:52,862 --> 00:12:54,745
Timmih! Timmih, uh, Jimmih.
198
00:12:55,562 --> 00:12:57,615
In Timmy, Timmih Tim-oh! Tim-Timmih!
199
00:12:58,379 --> 00:13:01,545
Timmmih? Jimmih! Jimmih.
200
00:13:01,949 --> 00:13:06,635
Jimmih Timmih Timmih? Timmih, Timmih
Jimmih... Jimmih! Jimmih! Timmih!
201
00:13:06,996 --> 00:13:07,925
Timmih!
202
00:13:10,747 --> 00:13:16,254
Mmmmm'kaaay. I don't quite follow, Timmy.
203
00:13:17,143 --> 00:13:18,968
Argh. Jimmy...
204
00:13:19,733 --> 00:13:20,740
Right, Jimmy Valmer.
205
00:13:21,507 --> 00:13:22,002
Uh.
206
00:13:22,341 --> 00:13:23,692
, Timmih Jimmih Jimmih Jim-
207
00:13:25,249 --> 00:13:27,352
Jimmh Timmih Timmih Jimmih!
208
00:13:28,372 --> 00:13:30,135
Right. He's Jimmy, yeah.
209
00:13:30,612 --> 00:13:31,577
HAAAAAAAH!
210
00:13:34,126 --> 00:13:35,252
How I Will Spend My
211
00:13:35,461 --> 00:13:36,533
One Thousand Dollars
212
00:13:36,810 --> 00:13:37,880
By Eric Cartman
213
00:13:39,852 --> 00:13:40,336
Enter!
214
00:13:51,138 --> 00:13:57,634
Cartman, I really, really have a problem with what you're doing
I object to it morally, and I find it grossly offensive.
215
00:14:03,468 --> 00:14:04,177
Go on, Kyle.
216
00:14:05,199 --> 00:14:08,315
I know that I often have serious moral
objections to the things that you do, but...
217
00:14:08,348 --> 00:14:13,832
this time I think you really need to reconsider,
because if you do this, I believe you will go to hell.
218
00:14:13,854 --> 00:14:19,214
So I feel it is my responsibility, as your friend,
to tell people what you're doing, and to put a stop to it!
219
00:14:21,005 --> 00:14:24,830
Well, Kyle, I understand where you're coming from,
and I appreciate you being so direct.
220
00:14:24,865 --> 00:14:29,236
Um, the thing is, you really have kind
a warped view on morality because you're Jewish.
221
00:14:29,236 --> 00:14:32,724
Now, Kyle, you haven't gone to see
Mel Gibson's film, The Passion but-
222
00:14:32,789 --> 00:14:34,447
I didn't come here to talk about The Passion, Cartman!
223
00:14:34,773 --> 00:14:38,931
Let me finish. If you had seen The Passion you
would know that Hell is reserved for the Jews,
224
00:14:38,931 --> 00:14:40,324
and all those who don't accept Christ.
225
00:14:40,380 --> 00:14:43,594
That being the case, it is actually me who is
worried about your soul.
226
00:14:43,618 --> 00:14:44,826
I came here to talk about you!
227
00:14:45,150 --> 00:14:45,788
Yes.
228
00:14:46,379 --> 00:14:50,888
And instead you had to break through yourself. This is really
the beginning of a whole new chapter of your life, Kyle.
229
00:14:51,252 --> 00:14:52,459
Good luck.
230
00:15:11,031 --> 00:15:12,270
Come on, push it! Push it!
231
00:15:16,000 --> 00:15:19,971
Yeah. Nice p-pecs. Sweet b-biceps.
232
00:15:22,126 --> 00:15:24,620
Jimmy, I thought we were meeting
at the doughnut shop.
233
00:15:24,975 --> 00:15:27,394
The Games are in two days, Nancy
I can't be w-wasting my time.
234
00:15:27,951 --> 00:15:30,677
I guess I didn't realize I was a waste of time.
235
00:15:31,225 --> 00:15:31,789
Oh Jeez!
236
00:15:32,062 --> 00:15:33,621
Are you gonna start running
your mouth off again?
237
00:15:34,143 --> 00:15:35,443
P-push it! Push it!!
238
00:15:36,105 --> 00:15:39,197
Jimmy, everyone's worried about you.
You seem... different.
239
00:15:39,586 --> 00:15:40,821
Theh-they're all just ..jealous.
240
00:15:41,361 --> 00:15:45,110
You're not the boy I fell in love with last
week during Free Period. I'm leaving you.
241
00:15:46,746 --> 00:15:49,404
You're not leaving me! You try to leave
me and I'll kill you, bitch!
242
00:15:49,728 --> 00:15:50,990
You can't treat people like this!
243
00:15:52,941 --> 00:15:56,122
I said, shut your mouth, bitch! Why
did you make me do it, huh?!
244
00:15:59,255 --> 00:16:00,171
You're not leavin' anybody!!
245
00:16:00,171 --> 00:16:03,789
You just keep your G-Goddamned
mouth shut and do what you're t-t-t-uh-tol-told!
246
00:16:04,148 --> 00:16:04,712
What the?
247
00:16:05,307 --> 00:16:06,343
Jimmy, oh my God!
248
00:16:07,207 --> 00:16:09,862
Stay away from me, you stupid bbbbitches!
249
00:16:11,711 --> 00:16:12,101
No! God!
250
00:16:23,116 --> 00:16:26,531
Welcome, everyone, to the 2004 Special Olympics!
251
00:16:28,879 --> 00:16:33,895
We will be holding various throughout the day,
and at the end of it all we will have some
252
00:16:33,895 --> 00:16:38,740
very special celebrity athletes here to present
the trophy for top athlete,
253
00:16:38,740 --> 00:16:41,865
along with the cash prize of one thousand dollars.
254
00:16:42,528 --> 00:16:43,730
Top athlete, yeah!
255
00:16:44,394 --> 00:16:45,986
One thousand dollars, yeah!
256
00:16:46,572 --> 00:16:52,428
So let's have all our athletes report to their first
assigned events and... Let the Games begin!
257
00:16:54,697 --> 00:16:59,487
Will those athletes in heat 1 of the hundred-meter
dash please report to Track Aread B.
258
00:16:59,487 --> 00:17:00,602
Okay, racers, are we ready?
259
00:17:00,947 --> 00:17:01,591
Take your marks.
260
00:17:02,342 --> 00:17:04,441
Daaaa! Daaaa!
261
00:17:04,949 --> 00:17:07,701
On your marks! Get set! Go!
262
00:17:10,941 --> 00:17:12,051
Whoa. What the hell??
263
00:17:21,627 --> 00:17:22,916
Great job, everyone.
264
00:17:23,174 --> 00:17:24,567
You three advance to the next heat.
265
00:17:25,352 --> 00:17:25,630
All right!
266
00:17:25,630 --> 00:17:26,027
Good Job.
267
00:17:26,027 --> 00:17:26,553
We did it!
268
00:17:27,675 --> 00:17:29,708
Well, guess I'll, guess I'll just have
to kick ass in the other events.
269
00:17:42,015 --> 00:17:42,453
Y eeessss!
270
00:17:44,592 --> 00:17:45,764
Yes! Yes!
271
00:17:46,127 --> 00:17:48,717
He's got it! That's a new Special Olympics record, folks!
272
00:17:56,490 --> 00:17:56,874
God-damnit!!
273
00:18:03,181 --> 00:18:04,528
Winner, Jimmy Valmer!
274
00:18:12,355 --> 00:18:13,328
All right, this one I can win!
275
00:18:13,807 --> 00:18:14,340
Here, hold this!
276
00:18:14,591 --> 00:18:15,740
I'll show you Goddamned retards!
277
00:18:28,571 --> 00:18:29,502
God-damnit!!
278
00:18:35,540 --> 00:18:37,538
That's another Special Olympics record!
279
00:18:38,115 --> 00:18:39,196
Yeah! Yeah!
280
00:18:40,083 --> 00:18:40,846
Yeah, I did it!
281
00:18:41,138 --> 00:18:42,628
Yeah! Yeah!
282
00:18:44,698 --> 00:18:48,240
Ladies and Gentlemen,
our day of competition has come to an end,
283
00:18:48,240 --> 00:18:51,898
and we have an ultimate grand special
champion for 2004!
284
00:18:51,924 --> 00:18:58,750
Here to present the award are baseball legends
Mark McGuire, Jason Giambi, and Barry Bonds.
285
00:19:01,725 --> 00:19:04,729
The two thousand and four special
athlete is... Jimmy Valmer.
286
00:19:05,538 --> 00:19:07,206
Yeah! Fuck yeah!
287
00:19:08,602 --> 00:19:10,878
Yeah, I did it! I'm the bbub-best!
288
00:19:11,699 --> 00:19:16,545
Congratulations, Jimmy. But we all know that
the Special Olympics isn't just about winning.
289
00:19:16,545 --> 00:19:23,278
And so, we will now give out the Spirit Award, to
the handicapped person who came in very last. Eric Cartman!
290
00:19:26,190 --> 00:19:27,273
Ah, screw you hippie!
291
00:19:28,573 --> 00:19:34,336
For winning the Spirit Award, Eric will receive this gift certificate
to Shakey's for fifty dollars! Come on up, Eric!
292
00:19:35,842 --> 00:19:38,067
...I could pile at Shakey's, heck.
293
00:19:38,449 --> 00:19:39,479
Uh, Drrrr! Drrrr!
294
00:19:42,798 --> 00:19:45,538
Hey! Just what the hell do you
think you're doing, Eric?!
295
00:19:46,078 --> 00:19:47,884
Uhh, hehe. Uh de-duhhhh.
296
00:19:48,451 --> 00:19:50,237
You ffffaked being handicapped to win?!
297
00:19:50,961 --> 00:19:53,903
I should k-kick your ass right here, you
lousy no-good ch-ch-ch...cheater!
298
00:19:55,567 --> 00:19:56,277
Timmih!
299
00:19:57,219 --> 00:19:57,854
What?
300
00:20:01,192 --> 00:20:05,149
Oh my God. You, you're right, Timmy.
You're totally right.
301
00:20:08,018 --> 00:20:09,925
Everyone, can I have your attention, please?
302
00:20:11,788 --> 00:20:16,633
I'm afraid I have to give back my medal.
The truth is, I haven't been playing fair either.
303
00:20:16,675 --> 00:20:22,852
I've been using st-steroids
I was willing to do anything to be the best,
304
00:20:22,852 --> 00:20:25,203
and the steroids made me blind to
the people I was hurting.
305
00:20:25,365 --> 00:20:27,711
A good friend even tried to talk me out
of it, and I wouldn't listen to him.
306
00:20:30,865 --> 00:20:34,103
Taking steroids is just like pretending to
be handicapped at the Special Olympics.
307
00:20:34,721 --> 00:20:39,449
Because you're taking all the fairness out of the game.
But I know now that even if you do win on steroids,
308
00:20:39,449 --> 00:20:42,534
you're really not a winner.
You're just a p-pussy. You're just a
309
00:20:42,585 --> 00:20:48,310
big fat p-p...p...pussy, and if you take steroids, the
only decent thing to do is come forward and say,
310
00:20:48,653 --> 00:20:52,583
"Remove me from the record books, because
I am a big, stinky p-pussy-"
311
00:20:52,875 --> 00:20:54,541
"-steroid-taking jackass."
312
00:20:56,144 --> 00:21:00,344
That's how I feel about myself, and why I must decline
this medal and my place in the history books.
313
00:21:00,427 --> 00:21:03,834
And if you'll let me, I'll be back next year.
To compete with honor.
314
00:21:09,224 --> 00:21:11,488
Hey kid. Good for you for being honest.
315
00:21:12,672 --> 00:21:16,570
Well guys, I guess now you see what I was up to all along.
316
00:21:16,570 --> 00:21:20,669
I dressed up like a handicapped person
and lost the Special Olympics on purpose,
317
00:21:20,669 --> 00:21:23,557
so that Jimmy could learn his
lesson about steroids.
318
00:21:27,091 --> 00:21:30,034
Eh, oh yeah?!
Well, well you guys are assholes!
319
00:21:30,576 --> 00:21:31,230
Grow up!
320
00:21:35,576 --> 00:21:37,230
WilLoW :--) 2005 Jan. 23rd
25003
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