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South Park 801 512x384 Xvid 141MB
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Good Times With Weapons
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Subtitles by Tzar
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- Stop it, Cartman!
- Pfaha, so funny.
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Goddamnit Cartman, stope throwin'
those stupid popping things at me!
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Come on and take a look, folks.
We've got a lot of knives for sale here.
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Oh my God, look!
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Martial arts weapons from the Far East.
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Wow, cool.
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Dude! We should each buy a weapon,
and then we'll be like ninjas.
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Yeah. We won't have
to take crap from anybody.
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Our parents won't let us have weapons, dude.
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Who's gonna tell them, dumbass?!
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Yeah, dude, our parents are gonna be at the stupid
fair all day long. They'll never know what we bought.
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I'll get the tonfas. Those are so sweet.
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I'm gonna get those killer sai.
Look Kenny!
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There's something even you can afford!
A ninja shuriken for a dollar ninety nine.
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Can I help you boys?
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Yeah. We wanna get one of each of these ninja weapons.
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Okay, uh, you need to have your parents
here when you buy them, though.
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I, I can't sell to anyone under eighteen
without parents' permission.
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Parents? Parents?? Oh God!
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Uh wha, what's the matter?
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We, we're brothers, see, and our parents...
died in a car accident last year.
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Why?! Why?! Why did you have
to take them both?! Why!
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Why do people have to keep reminding
us of what we don't have??
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It's all right, it's all right boys. Don't cry,
I'll... I'll just... go pack these up for you, okay?
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Goddamn, that's like the twelfth time that's worked.
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Shut up, hippies! I'll kill you!
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With my tonfa of Takanawa, I become the great
and powerful ninja Sharohachi,
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born to fight evil and people I don't like.
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Yeah. And my powerful nunchakus
make me into Bounaku,
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a deadly but compassionate ninja
who protects those in trouble.
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What's your ninja name, Kenny?
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Yes. And I... am Bulrog. Tough brute ninja who
has dedicated his life to eradicating the world of hippies
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- All right, ninjas! Let's go protect the world!
- Kick ass!
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Hey you guys, you know what we should do?
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We should go show our weapons to Craig and those guys.
They'll be so jealous.
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No dude, we can't go around showing our weapons to people.
Our parents'll find out we have them.
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Ech! You see, guys? This is why Jews
can't be ninjas! They've got no spine!
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You don't know anything about Jews, fatass!
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Oh yeah?! My mom took me to see
Mel Gibson's movie, The Passion,
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and Mel Gibson says you are
a sloth and you are a liar.
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And if the Road Warrior says it, it must be true.
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Don't worry, Kyle. Craig's not gonna tell on us.
Come, ninjas, let's go.
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All right, this is it.
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Yes. The residence of the one called... Craig.
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I still say this is a bad idea.
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Ninja positions!
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- Hello, Craig!
- Look what we got.
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Where'd you get those?
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We can't tell you where we got 'em!
It's secret ninja stuff.
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Oooh, is that jealousy I see in your eyes, Craig?
Mmm, yes, drown me in the sweet water of your envy.
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Uh, uh, they're not that cool.
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Hyeah, "they're not that cool.
" These are real authentic weapons from the Far East.
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But don't tell anybody we have them.
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- Whoa! Where'd you get those??
- Let me see.
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Uh, we'd love to hang out guys,
but we have important secret work to do.
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Yes. The life of a ninja is complex and full of peril.
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Come on, ninjas!
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Ho man, did you see the look on Craig's face?!
That was awesome!
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Dude, we're like the coolest
kids in the whole state!
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Huhey fellas. What's happenin'?
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We're playing Ninjas, Butters.
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Wowee! Hey, can I play, uhninjas with you?
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No, Butters. We are a very select elite fighting
team sent to protect the world from evil,
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and you can't play with us.
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Yeah, Butters. You wouldn't make
a very good ninja. Come on, guys.
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- We have a lot of work to do.
- Yes, and no time to do it. No time...
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I think I'd make a really good ninja.
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Jeez, those guys never let me play with them.
Uh they just shun me all the time.
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I'm a lost soul. A dark lonely shadow of a person-
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- Hi Butters.
- Hi Mom.
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-a castaway, forced to live his life out in solitude.
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And it's because of times like these I was forced to a life of evil.
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Society cast me out, and so I vowed
to make them all pay! And pay they did!
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Nobody knows that beneath this
sweet eight-year-old little boy lies the most evil,
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the most destructive supervillain of all time!
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Professor Chaos!
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Let's see how you like dealing with me, ninjas!
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- Oooh, Butters, are you going out to play again?
- Yeah Mom, I'm jus' goin' outside for a little while.
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Well, could you be a sweetie and take
that pie over there to the Thomsons.
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I made it to thank them
for babysitting you last week.
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Well, okay-okay Mom.
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Hm, this doesn't seem to be the right way.
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My ninja sense is telling me we might
be heading in the wrong direction.
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Okay, hang on guys.
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I'll use my special power to see into the future
and find out where we should head next.
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Hold on you guys.
I actually have another power.
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I can see into the future too, but better than Kyle.
Let me try it.
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- Goddamnit, Cartman! You can't keep making up new powers!
- Yeah dude, that's like the fifth power you've come up with!
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I am Bulrog and I have lots and lots of powers.
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No asshole! From now on you only
get to have ONE power! So what is it?!
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I have the power to have all the powers I want.
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That doesn't count, fatass!
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Yeah, that it, Cartman!
You don't get to have any powers!
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C'mon!
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Well well well! If it isn't the four ninjas!
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- Who the hell is that??
- I dunno. Craig, is that you?
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Fools! I am Professor Chaos!
Bringer of Destruction and Doom!
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Your feeble ninja powers
are no match for me!
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Looks like we have a sworn enemy, you guys.
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Very well, Professor Chaos! We'll play along.
Now, fell the fiery sting of my tonfa Takanawa!
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- Hey kid, that knocks you down.
- Nuh uh!
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- Yeah huh, I got you!
- Nuh uh! Because my cloak is made of a
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...titanium alloy that shields me from heat!
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That's bullcrap! Titanium alloy my ass!
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Well, let's see how he likes
the icy blasts from my nunchakus Sokuromoto!
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Huh nice attempt, ninja! But now both of you
shall feel the power of my Web of Holding!
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You are both trapped in spiderwebs!
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All right, dickhole! Time for you to pay!
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Oh no! I have no powers!
Kyle took them away from me!
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Quick, Kyle, give me back my powers
so I can fight this evil villain!
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Okay, okay, you can have your powers back.
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All right! And now I will use my power to...
turn Kyle into a chicken! Bleh!
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Goddamnit Cartman!
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Now you are a chicken!
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Enough! Uh I grow weary of your foolishness.
Professor Chaos cannot be stopped!
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Oh yeah?! Kenny! Use your ninja star!
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- Oh, fuck dude!
- It's Butters. Oh my God!
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- Oh, dude! It's stuck in his eye!
- What the hell did you do that for, Kenny?!
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It hurts! It hurts!
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Oh man! We are in serious trouble!
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Ssh sshhhh. It's okay, Butters.
Calm down. It's not that bad, really.
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But I... But I... But I can't see nothin'.
I gotta go to the hospitalll!!
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Okay okay, calm down, Butters! It'll be okay!
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Guys, meeting over here for a second?
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All right you guys, we need to stay
calm and just do the right thing.
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We have to kill Butters
and bury him in Kyle's backyard.
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- Dude, shut up!
- I agree with Cartman!
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- What?? - You don't understand what my mom will do
to me if she finds out I was playing with weapons!
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Just stay still, Butters.
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Stop dude! You're gonna scramble his brain!
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Go ahead and scramble it,
then he won't remember it was us.
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You guys can't fix my eyeball!
You have to take me to the hospital!
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If we take him to the hospital,
they're gonna find out what happened.
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God-damnit!
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God? Please, if you get me out of this,
I swear, I will never play with weapons ever again.
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Don't be so quick to throw off
your ninja responsibility, Kyle.
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Now, come on guys, sure, it's easy to be
a ninja when everything's going your way,
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but it's times like these, when the chips are down,
that a ninja shows his true character.
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Whoa, I'm getting woozy.
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Shut up, Butters. Now, there's a way out of this.
We just have to use our... ninja reasoning.
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We... need a doctor... But we can't go to the hospital.
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Wait a minute. Wait, wait, wait what
about the veterinarian?
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Dr. Shafley?
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He's really old and and goin blind.
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- So if we make Butters up to look like a dog,...
- Ohh no. - We might pass him off as our pet.
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Ohoo but, but fellas, if I, if I dress up like a dog
with a star in my eye, I I'm gonna get grounded.
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Shut up, Butters!
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That is the dumbest idea you
guys have ever come up with!
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I'd expect this stupidity out of Cartman,
but you, Stan??
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Butters needs medical attention right now!!
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All right, then you take him to the hospital, Kyle.
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You take him to the hospital
and let your mom find out what happened.
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I need the modeling glue.
We need more fur over here.
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Uh that modeling glue is making me dizzy.
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Butters! We're trying to help you, Goddamnit!
Now, stop being such an asshole!
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We need some more fur.
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I think that's good.
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Okay, let's hear your bark, Butters.
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Wuff...wu-wuff.
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All right. Now we just gotta sneak him into town.
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Okay, it's clear.
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Now remember, Butters, when you get to the vet's
office you need to stay down on all fours and-
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Butters, listen!! At the vet's office,
you need to stay down on all fours and bark a lot.
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Wuhuff, woof, woof.
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We've gotta hurry, it's getting late!
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- Oh shit, somebody's coming!
- Quick, hide Butters!
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In here!
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Uh buh, but fellas, I gotta-
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There you are!
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You guys thought you were sooo cool, didn't you?!
Well look at what we got!
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- No way, you got weapons too??
- Where'd you get those?
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From the n-n-, from the nn-, from the nn-
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From the nice guy at the county fair.
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At first we needed our parents' permission,
but then we told him our parents were dead.
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Aw man, now every
in town has a weapon! Lame!
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00:11:55,900 --> 00:11:58,520
So, how would you ninjas like to do battle?
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00:11:58,560 --> 00:12:00,100
Uh not now, Craig, we we have to be going.
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You can't pass through this
area until you defend your honor!
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He said, not now, Craig!
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00:12:04,620 --> 00:12:09,720
I am not Craig, I am Ginza,
with the powerful blade of the kitana. Iya!
184
00:12:10,000 --> 00:12:14,220
And I am Black Taku,
with the power of perfect spelling!
185
00:12:14,700 --> 00:12:16,720
Guys, we're we're really not playing, okay?
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00:12:22,750 --> 00:12:27,220
Wha, what, what's the m-matter, f-fellas?
Are you ... nnnninjas or p-p-p-pussies?
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We're twice the ninjas you fags are!
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- Then fight us!
- Very well, Clyde. Kiyaaaa!!!
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I swore to never fight again.
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We don't have a choice, Kyle.
Just humor them.
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Hey wait wait WAIT wait!
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Hold on a second. Where's Butters?
193
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Oh no. Butters!
194
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Butters!
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Oh, nice going, you assholes!
You made us lose him!
196
00:13:30,780 --> 00:13:31,785
Lose who?
197
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Butters! He got a ninja star stuck in his eye,
198
00:13:34,056 --> 00:13:36,935
and we were taking him to the vet
when you fucked it all up! Butters!
199
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- Stuck in his eye? Was he bleeding?
- Ye-yeah, a little- Butters! Get back here right now!
200
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- Oh shit, you guys are in trouble. We're outta here!
- No dude, you gotta help us find him!
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- The hell with that!
- We're in this together, Craig!
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If Butters tells on us, we're gonna tell on you,
and that's the ninja code!
203
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Hello? Anybody-eh.
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Woof. Woof. Woofwoof.
205
00:14:06,800 --> 00:14:14,000
- Butters! - Butters! - Here, Butters!
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00:14:14,480 --> 00:14:15,490
Dude, look!
207
00:14:22,700 --> 00:14:25,060
- Hello there, children!
- Hey, Chef.
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00:14:25,070 --> 00:14:26,998
- How's it goin'?
- Bad.
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00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:28,090
Why bad?
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00:14:28,100 --> 00:14:30,840
Chef, you haven't seen Butters around, have you?
211
00:14:30,850 --> 00:14:34,570
No, can't say that I have. Hey, what are you
children doin' with those weapons?
212
00:14:34,580 --> 00:14:36,670
Nnothing, just, playing.
213
00:14:36,680 --> 00:14:40,570
Well, you children should be careful with those.
You could put somebody's eye out.
214
00:14:40,580 --> 00:14:43,312
- Yeah, we know.
- Well, I've gotta get to the fairgrounds.
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00:14:43,312 --> 00:14:46,354
They're about to start the big auction.
So long, children!
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00:14:59,680 --> 00:15:03,290
Oh my God! What the-? Doctor? Doctor??
217
00:15:03,960 --> 00:15:05,790
Jesus Christ.
218
00:15:08,200 --> 00:15:13,170
What kind of sick bastard would
do this to a dog? Poor little pup.
219
00:15:13,800 --> 00:15:15,490
Woofwoof.
220
00:15:15,650 --> 00:15:17,000
Can you help him, Doctor?
221
00:15:17,120 --> 00:15:21,290
I'm afraid I wouldn't know how.
Unfortunately for this little fella, I'm a people doctor.
222
00:15:21,300 --> 00:15:24,500
- Best we call the animal shelter.
- Right away.
223
00:15:28,380 --> 00:15:32,595
In our last episode the four ninjas did battle
with Professor Chaos, bringer of destruction and doom.
224
00:15:32,600 --> 00:15:36,545
It was during that great battle that ninja master
Kenny threw his star into Professor Chaos' eye.
225
00:15:36,650 --> 00:15:38,104
Now the ninjas were in serious trouble,
226
00:15:38,104 --> 00:15:41,319
because their parents might find out they
had weapons if Professor Chaos told on them.
227
00:15:41,343 --> 00:15:43,995
While trying to get Professor Chaos some
aid at the veterinarian's office,
228
00:15:43,995 --> 00:15:46,000
the four ninjas ran into Craig and his three friends.
229
00:15:46,024 --> 00:15:49,477
They challenged the four ninjas to fight,
and the legendary battle of Tokutawa began.
230
00:15:49,477 --> 00:15:51,813
It was during this battle that Professor Chaos escaped,
231
00:15:51,837 --> 00:15:54,978
and so the four ninjas were forced to join forces
with Craig and his friends to find Professor Chaos,
232
00:15:54,978 --> 00:15:56,754
or else they would all be grounded.
233
00:15:58,000 --> 00:16:01,850
- Butters!
- Butters!
234
00:16:02,000 --> 00:16:03,100
Butters! Where the hell are you?!
235
00:16:03,280 --> 00:16:05,845
It's hopeless, dude! Butters must have made
it to the hospital.
236
00:16:05,850 --> 00:16:08,450
By now our parents probably know we
were playing with weapons!
237
00:16:08,450 --> 00:16:11,100
- We have to get rid of the evidence!
- What?
238
00:16:11,180 --> 00:16:14,390
Dude, we have to get rid of our weapons so at
least we can try to deny everything.
239
00:16:14,580 --> 00:16:16,600
Screw that, dude, I paid 20 bucks for these things!
240
00:16:16,600 --> 00:16:18,300
Yeah, let's just go return them and get our money back.
241
00:16:18,300 --> 00:16:21,380
We don't have time for that, dude!
We just have to ditch them! Now!
242
00:16:21,390 --> 00:16:26,090
Okay. Go ahead, Kyle. Throw
your nunchakus away. If you can.
243
00:16:26,100 --> 00:16:28,600
But you know well that your
Jewish blood won't let you.
244
00:16:28,600 --> 00:16:32,600
You can't throw away something you
paid fifteen bucks for. Go ahead and try.
245
00:16:32,810 --> 00:16:34,400
Screw you, fatass!
246
00:16:36,190 --> 00:16:37,800
Mel Gibson was right, Kyle.
247
00:16:37,800 --> 00:16:41,225
Right now the Jew in you is screamig
"NO! Those cost money! Get your money back!"
248
00:16:41,225 --> 00:16:42,709
You know this to be true.
249
00:16:46,686 --> 00:16:48,759
Go ahead.
Prove Mel Gibson wrong, Kyle.
250
00:16:57,100 --> 00:17:00,680
I, I can't do it. ... I can't do it. I...
251
00:17:00,700 --> 00:17:03,700
It's all right, Kyle.
We'll go back to the fair and return them.
252
00:17:09,100 --> 00:17:14,000
Come on. Come on, little fella. Atta boy.
253
00:17:16,600 --> 00:17:19,500
Right over here. Good dog. Come on.
254
00:17:19,600 --> 00:17:22,650
There you go, right in there.
255
00:17:38,000 --> 00:17:41,690
Somebody threw a ninja star
in that poor puppy's eye?
256
00:17:41,700 --> 00:17:44,710
It just makes me sick how some
people can treat animals.
257
00:17:44,720 --> 00:17:47,500
Well, nothing we can do for it;
let's put it to sleep, shall we?
258
00:17:47,800 --> 00:17:50,650
Here you go, pup. I've got
a sweet dose of murder for you.
259
00:17:50,780 --> 00:17:53,690
What the? Blasted! He's escaped! ..
260
00:17:53,900 --> 00:17:57,320
Oh well, let's murder one of these other dogs.
261
00:17:58,200 --> 00:18:00,750
All right, the county fair's still open!
262
00:18:04,580 --> 00:18:05,895
Can I help you boys?
263
00:18:05,900 --> 00:18:07,610
We have come to return the weapons we purchased.
264
00:18:07,620 --> 00:18:09,800
Uh, sorry kids, ah I don't give refunds.
265
00:18:09,900 --> 00:18:14,400
Listen, doucher! Our parents are gonna kill us,
and you, if they found out that we bought these!
266
00:18:14,480 --> 00:18:16,350
I thought you told me your parents were dead.
267
00:18:16,520 --> 00:18:18,495
- You guys! You guys!
- What is it, Craig?
268
00:18:18,500 --> 00:18:19,845
- It's Butters! We saw 'im!
- Where?!
269
00:18:19,850 --> 00:18:22,895
Right on the other side of the fairgrounds.
He's just wandering around aimlessly.
270
00:18:22,900 --> 00:18:25,200
- Then it's NOT too late!
- Come on, Ninjas!
271
00:18:27,450 --> 00:18:32,000
All right, folks, our next item up
for bids is this lovely 19th Century lamp.
272
00:18:32,450 --> 00:18:34,245
Aw dude, crap. All our parents are there.
273
00:18:34,250 --> 00:18:36,710
- Butters is right on the other side.
- We have to get past them!
274
00:18:36,720 --> 00:18:39,885
All right. Looks like I have to use
my power of invisibility to get by.
275
00:18:39,950 --> 00:18:41,090
You have that power too?
276
00:18:41,200 --> 00:18:44,500
I told you, Bulrog has lots and lots of powers. Behold.
277
00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:50,400
This way, I can move about
the crowd of people undetected.
278
00:18:51,280 --> 00:18:54,100
- Here, hold this stuff for me.
- Good luck, Bulrog.
279
00:18:55,990 --> 00:19:00,990
Now, this lamp comes from the estate of Edna
and James Hollinger, who lived in upstate Wyoming.
280
00:19:01,000 --> 00:19:04,600
It has a bronze finish and actual
gold leaf along the base.
281
00:19:04,700 --> 00:19:08,650
Uh this is a rare opportunity
to own a classic antique.
282
00:19:08,700 --> 00:19:12,190
The lamp has been appraised by our
auction staff at well over 2000 dollars.
283
00:19:12,200 --> 00:19:17,300
So we're gonna start the bidding at 375.
Do I, do I hear 375?
284
00:19:30,800 --> 00:19:32,900
Kid, what the hell do you think you're doin'?
285
00:19:41,100 --> 00:19:42,500
Butters!
286
00:19:43,900 --> 00:19:44,990
What happened to him?
287
00:19:45,150 --> 00:19:46,600
Oh my God!
288
00:19:46,999 --> 00:19:50,450
- Ohhh Jesus.
- Oh dude, we are gonna get it now.
289
00:19:55,280 --> 00:19:58,740
All right, people, we are all extremely
upset over what's happened.
290
00:19:58,750 --> 00:20:00,580
But let's try to speak one at a time.
291
00:20:00,680 --> 00:20:04,299
Well, like the rest of you, I am shocked
and appalled at what happened!
292
00:20:04,300 --> 00:20:10,000
I don't know if the parents are to blame or if it's
the times we're living in, but something has to change!
293
00:20:12,090 --> 00:20:16,280
This is the worst thing that's happened in this town!
The worst thing!
294
00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:21,399
Yeah! I mean, there were children
watching that auction!
295
00:20:21,400 --> 00:20:26,680
And when that little eight-year-old boy walked
up and flashed his... penis...
296
00:20:26,750 --> 00:20:28,180
it was an outrage!
297
00:20:31,100 --> 00:20:32,000
What?
298
00:20:32,280 --> 00:20:32,880
What?
299
00:20:33,000 --> 00:20:36,445
Not only that, the auction
was televised on public access,
300
00:20:36,450 --> 00:20:40,550
so my little daughter watchin'
at home saw the -penis!
301
00:20:40,600 --> 00:20:42,050
How am I suppsoed to explain that to her?!
302
00:20:42,240 --> 00:20:46,050
This is what happens when the moral
fabric of society breaks down!
303
00:20:48,700 --> 00:20:52,000
You see the damage you've caused, Eric Cartman?!
WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!
304
00:20:52,300 --> 00:20:55,000
I told you it was a wardrobe malfunction!
305
00:20:57,400 --> 00:20:59,980
Dude, they don't care we knocked
Butters' eye out with weapons?
306
00:20:59,999 --> 00:21:01,700
Just run with it, dude.
307
00:21:02,250 --> 00:21:08,305
Uh, yeah! I agree! Uh my fragile little eight-year-old
mind didn't know how to deal with what I was seeing.
308
00:21:08,460 --> 00:21:11,150
- C-Cartman should be punished!
- Yeah!
309
00:21:11,720 --> 00:21:13,380
Hey, fuck you, Kyle!
310
00:21:15,180 --> 00:21:16,350
Heck, I c- I can't believe it.
311
00:21:16,500 --> 00:21:19,950
Hyeah. I guess parents don't give a crap about
violence if there's sex things to worry about.
312
00:21:20,190 --> 00:21:22,380
So I guess this means we
get to keep our weapons.
313
00:21:22,420 --> 00:21:23,880
Yeah. Come on, ninjas.
314
00:21:25,500 --> 00:21:27,200
We've got some more work to do.
27381
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