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1
00:00:11,553 --> 00:00:14,640
MAN: Well, they don't cut hair
at Grocery Gil's...
2
00:00:14,806 --> 00:00:17,476
...but they sure cut prices.
3
00:00:19,645 --> 00:00:24,191
So I'm gonna cut to the chase
and cut the ribbon. Hey-oh!
4
00:00:24,358 --> 00:00:28,612
By the power vested in me
by the guys who cut me the check...
5
00:00:28,779 --> 00:00:31,240
...l, TV personality Ross Darren--
6
00:00:31,406 --> 00:00:32,449
[SPARSE APPLAUSE]
7
00:00:32,616 --> 00:00:33,742
Thank you.
8
00:00:33,909 --> 00:00:40,415
--declare store number 235
officially open.
9
00:00:40,624 --> 00:00:41,708
Huh?
10
00:00:43,418 --> 00:00:45,587
[CROWD LAUGHS]
11
00:00:48,549 --> 00:00:50,50
| always hated broccoli.
12
00:00:53,11 --> 00:00:54,680
Ha! Gotcha.
13
00:00:56,265 --> 00:00:57,724
[ROSS YELLS]
14
00:00:58,517 --> 00:00:59,893
[GRUNTS]
15
00:01:01,353 --> 00:01:02,479
Whoa!
16
00:01:02,771 --> 00:01:05,274
[CROWD CHUCKLING]
17
00:01:07,484 --> 00:01:09,69
[SCREAMS]
18
00:01:11,530 --> 00:01:13,907
[CROWD LAUGHS]
19
00:02:07,336 --> 00:02:09,421
< The Batman f
20
00:02:24,436 --> 00:02:26,772
[VIOLIN PLAYING]
21
00:02:35,30 --> 00:02:37,699
[LISTENING TO ROCK MUSIC
ON HEADPHONES]
22
00:02:41,36 --> 00:02:44,81
Before we continue, I'd like
to acknowledge some of the donors...
23
00:02:44,247 --> 00:02:47,417
...who have made
Gotham's great concert hall possible.
24
00:02:48,43 --> 00:02:49,711
Mr. Bruce Wayne.
25
00:02:50,128 --> 00:02:51,672
[APPLAUSE]
26
00:02:52,130 --> 00:02:57,803
And Mr. Herbert Zeigler,
philanthropist and accomplished pianist.
27
00:02:57,969 --> 00:02:59,888
What will you play for us tonight?
28
00:03:00,55 --> 00:03:04,685
| play Beethoven's
Moonlight Sonata, Opus 27, No. 2.
29
00:03:04,935 --> 00:03:06,436
[YAWNS]
30
00:03:10,524 --> 00:03:12,609
[CUSHION MAKES
FARTING NOISE]
31
00:03:13,777 --> 00:03:15,487
[AUDIENCE GIGGLES]
32
00:03:21,76 --> 00:03:22,577
[PLAYS PIANO]
33
00:03:26,873 --> 00:03:27,999
[DUCK QUACKS]
34
00:03:54,985 --> 00:03:56,236
[CAR APPROACHING]
35
00:04:00,699 --> 00:04:02,75
[TIRES SCREECHING]
36
00:04:20,677 --> 00:04:22,345
[GRUNTS]
37
00:04:39,362 --> 00:04:40,489
[HORNS HONK]
38
00:04:40,697 --> 00:04:41,865
Hm?
39
00:04:42,115 --> 00:04:43,408
[YELLS]
40
00:05:06,56 --> 00:05:07,98
[SCOFFS]
41
00:05:07,265 --> 00:05:09,434
Hope that buffs out.
42
00:05:13,271 --> 00:05:16,733
Well, despite the glossier
uptown venue...
43
00:05:16,900 --> 00:05:19,820
... tonight's abduction has
all the earmarks of this afternoon's.
44
00:05:20,28 --> 00:05:23,198
Both were highly theatrical,
public humiliations.
45
00:05:23,365 --> 00:05:27,118
Oh, like those newfangled
extreme game shows from Japan.
46
00:05:29,496 --> 00:05:32,707
| sometimes watch the telly
while I'm dusting.
47
00:05:33,208 --> 00:05:37,712
No ransom's been made
so the motive must be personal.
48
00:05:37,879 --> 00:05:41,299
Which means there has to be some link
between the two victims.
49
00:05:41,466 --> 00:05:43,218
"Match."
50
00:05:43,885 --> 00:05:49,266
Ross Darren and Herbert Zeigler worked
together 30 years ago on a game show.
51
00:05:49,432 --> 00:05:51,351
A game show for kids called--
52
00:05:51,560 --> 00:05:56,398
Think Thank Thunk.
Put on your thinking caps.
53
00:05:57,399 --> 00:06:00,318
I've done a lot of dusting
over the years.
54
00:06:01,778 --> 00:06:05,907
As | recall, the program was involved
in some sort of scandal.
55
00:06:07,576 --> 00:06:10,704
It seems someone
may still be harboring a grudge.
56
00:06:13,456 --> 00:06:16,751
-Bert, wake up.
-What?
57
00:06:17,502 --> 00:06:18,920
What's going on?
58
00:06:19,87 --> 00:06:20,589
Ross?
59
00:06:20,755 --> 00:06:23,592
Where are we? Who did this?
60
00:06:23,758 --> 00:06:25,719
MAN:
Fear not, little men.
61
00:06:25,886 --> 00:06:28,972
All will soon be revealed.
62
00:06:29,139 --> 00:06:35,312
Just one more piece of the puzzle,
then the real fun begins.
63
00:06:38,940 --> 00:06:44,29
ANNOUNCER: Put on your thinking
caps. It's time to Think Thank Thunk.
64
00:06:44,195 --> 00:06:47,115
Sponsored by Kremelos,
the gooey taste treat.
65
00:06:47,282 --> 00:06:51,36
Now, here's your host, Ross Darren!
66
00:06:51,202 --> 00:06:56,291
Hey-oh! Welcome to the show
where the biggest brain reigns.
67
00:06:56,458 --> 00:07:00,295
Ready to have some fun?
Let's meet today's contestants.
68
00:07:00,462 --> 00:07:05,300
The challenger is Yelena Kleimenoff--
There's a mouthful.
69
00:07:05,467 --> 00:07:08,970
--whose family recently
defected from the Soviet Union.
70
00:07:09,137 --> 00:07:12,641
Good luck, Yelena. You're gonna
need it against our champ.
71
00:07:12,807 --> 00:07:15,727
Artie Brown is the brain to beat.
72
00:07:15,894 --> 00:07:19,522
He's been winning
for 12 straight weeks.
73
00:07:19,689 --> 00:07:23,526
Let's make it 13, Ross.
74
00:07:23,693 --> 00:07:25,779
ALFRED:
Artie Brown was undefeatable.
75
00:07:25,987 --> 00:07:27,280
And obnoxious.
76
00:07:27,447 --> 00:07:28,573
[VIDEO FAST-FORWARDS]
77
00:07:28,782 --> 00:07:31,534
The category is astronomy.
78
00:07:31,785 --> 00:07:34,621
Artie, you can win if you choose
a three point question.
79
00:07:34,788 --> 00:07:36,831
Three points, Ross.
80
00:07:36,998 --> 00:07:38,833
Put on your thinking cap.
81
00:07:40,835 --> 00:07:45,131
For three points and the win,
name all 13 of Jupiter's moons...
82
00:07:45,298 --> 00:07:48,468
...the person who discovered them
and the year of their discovery.
83
00:07:48,635 --> 00:07:52,472
| thought you were going to ask
a difficult question, Ross.
84
00:07:52,639 --> 00:07:54,683
Let's begin with Europa....
85
00:07:54,891 --> 00:07:56,17
[VIDEO FAST-FORWARDS]
86
00:07:56,184 --> 00:08:00,814
--and Lysithea by Nicholson, in 1937.
87
00:08:01,22 --> 00:08:02,65
[BUZZER]
88
00:08:02,232 --> 00:08:03,274
[CROWD GROANS]
89
00:08:03,441 --> 00:08:04,651
Oh, so close, Artie.
90
00:08:04,818 --> 00:08:08,905
Lysithea was actually discovered
in 1938.
91
00:08:09,72 --> 00:08:10,824
Thirty-eight.
92
00:08:10,991 --> 00:08:13,76
That means Yelena is our winner!
93
00:08:13,243 --> 00:08:14,911
[CROWD APPLAUSE
AND ARTIE GROANS]
94
00:08:15,78 --> 00:08:20,458
And here's your consolation prize.
A lifetime supply of Kremelos.
95
00:08:20,625 --> 00:08:23,586
No fair!
96
00:08:25,338 --> 00:08:27,674
BATMAN: Huh. Artie's mother claimed
the show was rigged...
97
00:08:27,841 --> 00:08:30,969
-...and sued the show's producer.
-Bert Zeigler.
98
00:08:31,136 --> 00:08:33,972
Zeigler had deep pockets
and a lot of friends in city hall.
99
00:08:34,139 --> 00:08:37,100
The lawsuit was dismissed,
Artie faded into obscurity...
100
00:08:37,267 --> 00:08:41,563
..and Yelena became
a world-class chess champion.
101
00:08:41,730 --> 00:08:46,693
-Sir?
-Yelena's playing in Gotham. Tonight.
102
00:08:50,905 --> 00:08:54,75
MALE ANNOUNCER: This has been
a very aggressive game so far.
103
00:08:54,242 --> 00:08:56,870
FEMALE ANNOUNCER: Yelena
Kleimenoff has control of the center...
104
00:08:57,78 --> 00:08:59,122
...while keeping her king
well-protected.
105
00:08:59,289 --> 00:09:00,832
The computer's been
on the defensive...
106
00:09:00,999 --> 00:09:03,626
..since the 10th move,
when Yelena captured its knight.
107
00:09:04,252 --> 00:09:06,421
Bishop to B6.
108
00:09:06,588 --> 00:09:09,716
FEMALE ANNOUNCER:
Bishop to B6.
109
00:09:09,883 --> 00:09:13,53
-That's going to win it for--
MALE ANNOUNCER: What the...?
110
00:09:13,261 --> 00:09:14,596
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]
111
00:09:18,266 --> 00:09:22,312
| said, bishop to B6.
112
00:09:23,730 --> 00:09:25,65
[GASPS]
113
00:09:34,407 --> 00:09:36,659
Knight takes bishop.
114
00:09:37,952 --> 00:09:39,662
[GRUNTING]
115
00:09:39,913 --> 00:09:40,955
[GROWLS]
116
00:10:00,892 --> 00:10:02,310
[GRUNTING]
117
00:10:03,937 --> 00:10:06,523
Pick on someone your own size.
118
00:10:15,615 --> 00:10:17,200
Scrappy little fellas.
119
00:10:17,408 --> 00:10:19,160
[YELENA MUMBLES]
120
00:10:23,289 --> 00:10:25,208
[BATMAN GRUNTS]
121
00:10:25,959 --> 00:10:27,418
[ENGINE REVS]
122
00:10:36,136 --> 00:10:37,345
It's The Batman.
123
00:10:49,107 --> 00:10:51,693
No fair!
124
00:10:56,114 --> 00:10:59,33
ARTIE [ON TV]:
No fair!
125
00:10:59,617 --> 00:11:01,286
Report.
126
00:11:01,494 --> 00:11:02,745
[WHISPERS INDISTINCTLY]
127
00:11:02,912 --> 00:11:03,955
[CHUCKLES]
128
00:11:04,122 --> 00:11:07,625
Then the games can begin,
little friend.
129
00:11:08,293 --> 00:11:09,627
The Batman?
130
00:11:09,794 --> 00:11:15,133
Well, the game grows more intriguing
by the moment.
131
00:11:17,218 --> 00:11:20,513
This looks like someone's idea
of a reunion.
132
00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:23,141
Well, someone better tell us
what's going on.
133
00:11:23,308 --> 00:11:25,935
Quiet, Bert. He'll hear you.
134
00:11:29,522 --> 00:11:31,399
Who are you?
135
00:11:31,566 --> 00:11:34,861
The man you cheated.
136
00:11:39,490 --> 00:11:42,368
Arthur Brown. From the show!
137
00:11:42,911 --> 00:11:45,246
Huh? Little Artie?
138
00:11:45,413 --> 00:11:47,457
| was winning too much
so you let her win.
139
00:11:47,624 --> 00:11:49,709
You gave her an easy question.
140
00:11:49,876 --> 00:11:51,586
You did?
141
00:11:52,420 --> 00:11:56,633
Look, if this is about the prize money,
I'll cut you a check.
142
00:11:56,799 --> 00:11:59,802
Money can't soothe the pain
of humiliation.
143
00:11:59,969 --> 00:12:05,16
Nor can my consolation prize
of a lifetime supply of Kremelos!
144
00:12:05,183 --> 00:12:07,727
Though they are moist and delicious.
145
00:12:07,894 --> 00:12:10,63
What do you want with us?
146
00:12:10,230 --> 00:12:13,900
Why, revenge, of course.
147
00:12:14,67 --> 00:12:17,237
You got to humiliate us.
Wasn't that enough?
148
00:12:17,403 --> 00:12:18,655
Relax, Ross.
149
00:12:18,821 --> 00:12:20,782
In the spirit of gamesmanship...
150
00:12:20,949 --> 00:12:24,994
...l'm giving you all a chance
to walk away scot-free.
151
00:12:25,161 --> 00:12:29,374
If you can defeat me in a rematch.
152
00:12:31,751 --> 00:12:37,423
So put on your thinking caps.
153
00:12:38,883 --> 00:12:41,636
Artie Brown was a brilliant student
with a bright future...
154
00:12:41,803 --> 00:12:46,15
...but it looks like he threw it all away.
Dropped out of school and out of life.
155
00:12:46,182 --> 00:12:48,393
All over his obsession with a game.
156
00:12:48,559 --> 00:12:51,396
You, on the other hand,
never were much for games.
157
00:12:51,562 --> 00:12:54,524
-Even as a child.
-There was work to do.
158
00:12:54,691 --> 00:12:57,902
Play is the work of children.
159
00:12:59,570 --> 00:13:04,200
And Arthur, evidently, continues
to act out his childhood revenge fantasy.
160
00:13:04,367 --> 00:13:07,245
Act or reenact?
161
00:13:07,412 --> 00:13:10,206
-| know where to find Artie.
-Sir?
162
00:13:10,373 --> 00:13:13,376
Where would you start looking
for a boy who never grew up?
163
00:13:18,423 --> 00:13:20,49
ANNOUNCER:
Put on your thinking caps.
164
00:13:20,216 --> 00:13:24,304
It's time to Think Thank Thunk.
165
00:13:24,512 --> 00:13:26,347
Hey-oh!
166
00:13:27,181 --> 00:13:28,266
[APPLAUSE TRACK]
167
00:13:28,516 --> 00:13:30,393
ARTIE:
Welcome!
168
00:13:30,560 --> 00:13:33,896
Now let's meet tonight's contestants.
169
00:13:34,63 --> 00:13:38,359
Three of the worst liars and cheats
ever seen on national television.
170
00:13:38,526 --> 00:13:40,111
Here's how the game works.
171
00:13:40,278 --> 00:13:43,197
You've had access to my books.
172
00:13:43,281 --> 00:13:45,742
You'll take turns asking me questions.
173
00:13:45,825 --> 00:13:47,952
If | answer wrong, you score a point.
174
00:13:48,119 --> 00:13:50,913
Three points and you all go free.
175
00:13:51,414 --> 00:13:54,709
However, for every question
| answer correctly...
176
00:13:54,876 --> 00:13:56,711
...| score a point.
177
00:13:56,878 --> 00:14:01,716
Three points for me
and you all get dunked in acid.
178
00:14:01,883 --> 00:14:03,593
[LAUGHTER TRACK]
179
00:14:09,265 --> 00:14:10,683
[GASPING]
180
00:14:11,142 --> 00:14:13,686
At this point in the show,
we would usually break...
181
00:14:13,853 --> 00:14:16,64
...for a word from our sponsor.
182
00:14:16,230 --> 00:14:19,400
Don't you wish?
183
00:14:25,31 --> 00:14:27,784
[BOY GROWLS]
184
00:14:34,916 --> 00:14:37,585
BATMAN:
Keep an eye on it for me, kid.
185
00:15:04,445 --> 00:15:07,490
Are you one of Artie's friends?
186
00:15:07,698 --> 00:15:09,492
Uh. Yes.
187
00:15:10,243 --> 00:15:15,206
My, you're a big one.
Artie's down in his room.
188
00:15:15,373 --> 00:15:17,750
Thank you, Mrs. Brown.
189
00:15:27,385 --> 00:15:28,553
[GLASS SHATTERS]
190
00:15:28,761 --> 00:15:33,266
Now, now, what have | told you boys
about roughhousing?
191
00:15:33,433 --> 00:15:38,688
Orpheus, Castor, Hercules,
Meleager and, of course, Jason himself.
192
00:15:38,855 --> 00:15:41,858
That's all 50 Argonauts. Am | right?
193
00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:50,324
Ha-ha-ha! That's one for me.
194
00:15:55,371 --> 00:15:58,374
-Your question was too easy!
-You trying to get us melted?
195
00:15:58,541 --> 00:16:00,126
ARTIE:
Yes, yes, yes, please.
196
00:16:00,293 --> 00:16:03,963
For pity's sake,
ask me something challenging.
197
00:16:05,47 --> 00:16:06,841
[GRUNTING]
198
00:16:19,437 --> 00:16:20,813
Hey-oh!
199
00:16:21,105 --> 00:16:24,275
That would be two for me,
none for you.
200
00:16:24,442 --> 00:16:28,446
Better score or it's acid city.
201
00:16:33,534 --> 00:16:37,914
In the subject of mathematics,
what is the number pi?
202
00:16:38,80 --> 00:16:43,586
Pi, of course, is the ratio of the
circumference of a circle to its diameter.
203
00:16:43,753 --> 00:16:47,06
But that number cannot be expressed
as a finite decimal.
204
00:16:47,173 --> 00:16:51,93
But in the spirit of gamesmanship,
| will recite the number to 50--
205
00:16:51,260 --> 00:16:54,96
No, 100 decimal places.
206
00:16:54,263 --> 00:16:58,809
3.1415926....
207
00:16:59,60 --> 00:17:01,270
[GRUNTING]
208
00:17:03,648 --> 00:17:06,692
--46375.
209
00:17:06,859 --> 00:17:08,486
[BELL CHIMES
AND APPLAUSE TRACK]
210
00:17:08,694 --> 00:17:11,489
That's it. | win, | win.
211
00:17:11,656 --> 00:17:16,285
-But more importantly, you lose.
ROSS: No!
212
00:17:16,494 --> 00:17:18,246
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
213
00:17:18,454 --> 00:17:19,664
-Oh, no, you can't!
-No!
214
00:17:19,830 --> 00:17:20,831
This is ridiculous.
215
00:17:21,82 --> 00:17:22,291
[CRASH]
216
00:17:22,500 --> 00:17:23,793
[GRUNTS]
217
00:17:30,174 --> 00:17:32,343
Ah. The Batman.
218
00:17:32,510 --> 00:17:37,14
Your timely arrival proves that there's
at least one intellect in Gotham City...
219
00:17:37,181 --> 00:17:39,934
... worthy of Cluemaster.
220
00:17:40,142 --> 00:17:43,854
-Give it up, Arthur.
-Artie Brown never surrenders.
221
00:17:44,21 --> 00:17:46,274
But in the spirit of gamesmanship...
222
00:17:46,482 --> 00:17:51,946
...| shall give you, The Batman,
one chance to save their cheating lives.
223
00:17:52,113 --> 00:17:53,781
A bonus round!
224
00:17:54,490 --> 00:17:56,576
| don't play games.
225
00:17:56,742 --> 00:18:01,330
But you will play
or they get acid-washed.
226
00:18:02,415 --> 00:18:04,875
Is this all you have
to show for your life, Arthur?
227
00:18:05,42 --> 00:18:06,460
Bitterness and revenge?
228
00:18:06,627 --> 00:18:09,255
You could've done something positive
with your talents.
229
00:18:09,422 --> 00:18:10,631
Like Yelena did.
230
00:18:10,840 --> 00:18:14,385
Bonus round.
Stop Cluemaster and they go free.
231
00:18:14,594 --> 00:18:16,262
Well, that doesn't seem fair.
232
00:18:16,429 --> 00:18:19,974
Is there anything
the great Arthur Brown doesn't know?
233
00:18:20,182 --> 00:18:23,311
You'll find out.
234
00:18:23,519 --> 00:18:25,646
-What can | ask you about?
-Anything!
235
00:18:25,855 --> 00:18:28,899
-No topic is off limits?
-History, science, literature.
236
00:18:29,66 --> 00:18:33,487
-Music, biology, current events?
-Anything! Let's go, already!
237
00:18:33,696 --> 00:18:35,197
Okay.
238
00:18:35,364 --> 00:18:39,493
Name the true identity of The Batman.
239
00:18:40,995 --> 00:18:44,749
-Trick question! Ask another!
-You said | could ask anything.
240
00:18:44,915 --> 00:18:47,793
No fair!
241
00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:50,254
[CLUEMASTER GROANS]
242
00:18:53,966 --> 00:18:55,09
CONTESTANTS:
No!
243
00:19:03,267 --> 00:19:04,852
Cheater.
244
00:19:06,103 --> 00:19:07,313
[GRUNTING]
245
00:19:19,533 --> 00:19:20,868
Aaarggh!
246
00:19:21,77 --> 00:19:24,163
I'll show you the true identity
of The Batman!
247
00:19:25,956 --> 00:19:27,833
[GROANS]
248
00:19:34,632 --> 00:19:35,925
[YELLS]
249
00:19:36,92 --> 00:19:37,343
[GRUNTS]
250
00:19:44,684 --> 00:19:46,894
[RATTLING]
251
00:19:47,269 --> 00:19:51,649
Would you kids like
some milk and Kremelos?
252
00:20:04,745 --> 00:20:06,80
Ah. Master Bruce.
253
00:20:06,288 --> 00:20:10,668
| trust your bout with little
Arthur Brown resulted in your favor.
254
00:20:10,835 --> 00:20:13,504
Alfred, | didn't think
| was much for games...
255
00:20:13,671 --> 00:20:16,424
...until | beat Cluemaster at his own.
256
00:20:17,299 --> 00:20:19,135
So...
257
00:20:20,10 --> 00:20:21,846
think you can take me?
258
00:20:23,305 --> 00:20:26,308
Let's have a go, then.
259
00:21:02,386 --> 00:21:04,513
< The Batman f
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