All language subtitles for The.Burbs.S01E01.1080p.WEB.h264-ETHEL

I can't believe
we have a white picket fence.

And they're so charming and yet

so micro-aggressive
at the same time.

Uh-hmm. And still somehow
my parents' fence ended up

looking like British teeth,

slightly discolored
and bizarrely misaligned.

We went from city loft
to lawn so fast.

We did everything so fast.

Uh-hmm.

But that's what you do
when you find the unicorn, babe.

You lock it the fuck down.

I think this place
is gonna grow on you, though.

Hinkley Hills
is a safe place to grow up.

I want that for Miles.

I want everything for him.

I know living
in my parents' house

wasn't exactly part of the plan

but it could be worse.

They could be here too.

You do know how to mow a lawn,

'cause I'm not handling
none of that.

I got you.

♪ Boy, you look goo ♪
♪ When you have that grass ♪

♪ And you look fine ♪
♪ Won't you rag that, rag that ♪

♪ Call you big daddy ♪
♪ When you have that grass up ♪

♪ What, what you ♪
♪ Playing with? ♪

-Oh, God.
-I don't wanna get back to work.

You and Miles aren't gonna have
too much fun without me, okay?

My maternity leave
is gonna be spent watching

the window like Bravo

and learning
the choreography to...

What the?

I don't like that one bit.

Stroll's over.

Are you sure
that house is empty?

Yeah, very.

♪ When I wake up ♪
♪ In the mornin', love ♪

♪ And the sunlight ♪
♪ Hurts my eyes ♪

♪ And something ♪
♪ Without warning, love ♪

♪ Bears heavy on my mind ♪

♪ Then I look at you ♪

♪ And the world's ♪
♪ All right with me ♪

♪ Just one look at you ♪

No, no, no. No.

♪ And I know it's gonna be ♪

Shit, shit, shit.

♪ A lovely day ♪

Wait. Wait.

Stop! Stop!

Don't leave me
with these diapers!

Hey there, bad hair.

I forgot.

Nice to see you.

Back on Ashfield Place?

Bud, you don't...
you don't remember me?

Sorry. Never been good
at remembering faces.

Ah, it's all right.

You know,
I've always liked this street.

You hear the thing
about cul-de-sacs?

-Uh...
-There's only one way out!

Have a great day, Robert.

Okay. Bye now.

Okay.

The things I'll do for you.

Like moving here.

Do you want me to stay?

I can call Nina,
tell her I need another week.

What are we watching?

How long
has that house been empty?

Twenty years, give or take.

-You don't think that's weird?
-Not really.

I'm sure they got a good reason
for hanging onto it.

-So there's a they.
-Who's the they?

You know, whoever owns it.

Okay, Shrug Knight.

So you never thought about it?

What... no, not really.

-Whatever.
-I know you gotta get to work.

Naveen and I are catching
the same train.

Trainpooling he's calling it.

-But say the word, and I'll stay.
-No, no, no.

Gotta rip the Band-Aid
off someway, somehow.

It'll be me,
myself, and I, and Miles

together alone
for the first time.

No friends or family nearby
but that's why it's good.

Yeah, 'cause
I'm not worried at all.

You're giving me
some very mixed signals here.

Nah, get on the train.

-I love you so much.
-Uh-hmm. I love you too.

And I love you too, little man.

And you can call me
anytime, okay?

I'm the guy saved
in your phone as White Bulb

with the black thumbs up emoji.

And it'll never change.

Try to get out
the house today.

♪ Girl you working ♪
♪ With some ass, yeah ♪

♪ You're bad, yeah ♪

♪ Make a nigga ♪
♪ Spend his cash ♪

♪ Yeah, his last, yeah ♪

♪ Hoes frown ♪
♪ When you pass, yeah ♪

-Stop! Can I help you?
-Oh.

I'm sorry?

Oh, should he be
listening to this?

Uh, well, he can't understand
the words.

Babies absorb these things.

Right.

Oh. Oh.

You must be Rob Fisher's wife.

Oh.

I heard you were,

uh, back here to live.

-Yeah.
-Well, this is fabulous.

I was wondering
when I would get to meet you.

Uh-hmm. I don't get out much.

I'm Lynn Gardner.

Uh, I'm Samira and that's Miles.

-Aw.
-He looks just like his mama.

Samira. Such a pretty name.

Is it African?

Yes.

Fascinating.
I just live catty-corner.

If you ever need anything.

And you must come to wine night.

It's just a bunch
of friendly neighbors

gabbing and guzzling on my porch

and they are dying to meet you.

Oh,
I'm breastfeeding unfortunately.

Oh, pump and dump, my darling.

Welcome to Ashfield Place.

Uh-hmm.

Hey.

Hey.

I got
a very important question

for my big sis.

Mariah, Whitney,

Janet, or Beyoncé. One gotta go.

I'm not about
to fight with you today.

-Well, that's not a fight.
-I miss you.

How's my apartment?

Well, if you're referring
to the artist

currently known as
my new apartment, it's the bomb.

Little girl,
your taste is impeccable, okay?

And these views, exquisite.

-How's my nephew?
-Cute as hell.

Aw. Yes, he is.

Because we're twins.

And see, that's why
you're going off on FaceTime.

And how was,
uh, Hinkey Mountain?

Hinkley Hills is Caucasian.

It's the 'burbs, babes.

Am I a bad mom for bringing

-my melanated son out here?
-I don't know.

Are you a bad mother
for accepting

a very nice house
at a very nice neighborhood

where there's practically
no crime, really nice schools?

I mean, make it make sense.

I just feel so isolated.

I mean, every day
is the same thing.

I don't know what I'm doing,

and I don't have anybody
to teach me how.

Well, you know
she looking after you.

That's what Daddy say

but you can't teach somebody

how to swaddle
a baby from heaven.

Amen to that.

How am I gonna get
the maternity leave?

I mean, I thrive
in collaborative environments.

I need structure
and tangible goals.

-Bitch, I don't speak resume.
-I speak housewife.

This is what you do, pick up
a little day drinking habit,

maybe a little Pinot habit
or something, something cute.

Yeah, hard to do
when you got a tit gremlin.

Yeah,
you could've kept that one.

Well, baby,
you just need some friends.

I have friends.

I mean, in a 10-mile radius.

None of your neighbors
ain't no potential there?

Uh, no.

It's a who's who
of who's not it.

These people are crazy.

Well,
I'm just spitballing, boo.

-I know. I know.
-And I appreciate you.

And I love you.

And I'mma come
and visit you soon, okay?

And I know
you would've chopped Mariah.

I don't know her.

Love you. Bye.

Naveen.

Look at us.
Train buddies.

Commute comrades.

Megan filed for divorce.

-What?
-She was waiting for me

when I got home yesterday.

Suitcases
at the bottom of the stairs,

like out of a bad movie.

-Shit.
-Said she's been unhappy

for a long time
and wants to start over

while she still
has her youth.

So she can't stand

another day of my moodiness.

I'm not even...

I'm not even that moody, Rob.

She's fucking her dentist.

Dr. James.

The only one
who takes my insurance.

So that's fucking great.
I should've known.

She was getting way
too much dental work done

for someone
who has perfect teeth.

-She does have great teeth.
-Right?

Two cleanings in a week.

She said she needed
to get a filling.

Oh, fuck.

Remember what you said
at my bachelor party?

No. I was drunk and on three
different classes of drugs.

We were in Miami.
My jaw was in Texas.

You grabbed
my face and you said,

"Never trust a Megan."

Nostradamus, motherfucker.
I should've listened.

I'm sorry, mate.

-Anyway, let's talk about you.
-Enough about me.

How's little man?

-Oh, God.
-He's the best. Perfect.

I mean, he doesn't sleep

and he shits like a trucker

but wouldn't change it
for the world.

Nice. And Samira?

She keeps asking questions

about the house
across the street.

-Really?
-Yeah.

What'd you tell her?

What is there to tell?

You know what,
you are absolutely right.

I attempted
to leave the house today.

During daylight hours?

Yes. And I met Lynn.

She's exactly
as your mother described.

Nosy, and extremely abstract
sense of personal space?

Yeah, that's it.

And, um, she invited me
for drinks with the neighbors.

-She did?
-Uh-hmm.

You should go. Little man
and I can get some QT.

I think I might.

I wanna see
who all gonna be there.

Twenty years, huh.
So you must've known them.

-Who, the Grants?
-Aha!

-What?
-So you did know them.

-You're doing that thing.
-What thing?

That thing you do
when you get a little obsessed.

It's the lawyer in you.
You lock in.

-Remember your ramen conspiracy?
-I know

it wasn't ideal to get banned
from the local bodega

but I still stand by my theory
that they were running

drugs with the instant
noodle cups. It was right there.

I mean,
you were 100% onto something.

I mean, they didn't
even have a bodega cat.

What kind of bodega
doesn't have a bodega cat?

Babe, I'm not being
obsessed, okay? Just humor me.

Okay, so tell me what you know
about the creepy house.

-Yeah, please.
-Creepy house probably.

They lived across
the street from us but...

does anyone ever
really know their neighbors?

Yes, I knew my neighbor's
first and last name.

We was all up
in each other's business.

-You did? Okay.
-Yeah.

Ooh, by the way,

speaking of being all up
in each other's business,

Megan left Naveen.

So I guess I owe you 10 bucks.

-You always call it.
-Uh-hmm.

Also even worse,
shagging the dentist.

-What?
-Yes.

-Oh, my gosh.
-I know.

Never trust a Megan.

-That's what I said too.
-That's right.

Allegedly.

Babe, please never leave me.

Where am I gonna go?

Oh, yeah.
You're trapped now.

-Love you, honey.
-Love you too.

And if I cheat,
it won't be the dentist.

-Thanks, babe.
-That means a lot.

-Somebody we don't know.
-Wow.

The next time
that beast uses my lawn

as its personal port a-potty,

I am gonna get out my glue gun.

Well, break out the crayons

and color me thrilled.
It's Samira.

So close.

Come, come, come.

Sit, sit, sit. Uh-oh.

-This is Rob Fisher's wife.
-Oh.

-From across the street.
-Dana Richards is the name.

It's very nice to finally
make your acquaintance.

Likewise. Samira.

-Samira. Oh.
-I'm so bad with names.

We haven't seen you
around before.

And we were starting to think
that Rob made you up.

No, no. I'm real.

Just a new reclusive mom
with leaking nipples.

Now, Dana is a retired Marine.

-Oh.
-Very distinguished,

-lots of medals.
-Wow.

Also, I'm a real Handy Andy.

I have noticed, not to be nosy,

but, uh, you have
some spots on your fence

that are pretty effed up
and I could fix those for you.

I'm here for it
'cause the only screwdriver

I'm familiar with contains fuck.

And here's Todd.

Hi.

Hi.

Todd is a man of few syllables.

I don't think I've seen you
around here before.

You've been keeping tabs on us

through the window,
Jimmy Stewart?

Which one of us is the murderer?

Your face.

I'm sorry.

It's okay.
We all know that Suburbia

has its spectators for it.

You have not seen me.

My home shares
no sight lines with yours

and I keep out ours.

What do you do?

This and that.

What do you and Rob do?

I'm a civil litigation attorney.

Wow. Hello she-E-O.

Oh, I don't know what that is,

but good for you.

-Yeah.
-Rob is, uh, a book editor.

Oh. How did you meet him?

A Kaytranada concert actually.

-Kate Ranada?
-I'm going to look her up.

Let me know what you find.

Rob seems like he's romantic.

He is. So, how long
have you guys lived here?

Well, for me,
just a couple of years.

I wanted somethin' with nature,

but my wife's idea
of outdoorsiness

is like a restaurant
with a patio.

So, this was our compromise.

And then she got deployed.

She's in the military too?

Cannot confirm or deny.

Honestly,
despite what two decades

of daytime television tell you,

there are a lot
of people that don't care

for middle-aged lesbians.

Uh-hmm.

But I felt welcomed
for the most part.

I've been here
eight months and ten days.

That's precise.

She's been here
for freakin' ever.

Not as long as some.

Marty and I moved here
15 years ago.

-Marty.
-I can't wait to meet him.

Um, unfortunately, he passed.

Oh, Lynn, I'm so sorry. I...

Thank you. Heart attack.

It's been almost
half a year, but...

I still feel
his presence every day.

Here.

Anyway,
these wine nights really help.

It's a bit like family.

That's right.

When you have neighbors,
you're never alone

even when you wanna be.

How'd you city kids end up here?

Oh, well, Rob's parents,
I'm sure you guys know

they, uh, retired
to one of those timeshare

-cruise ships last month.
-That's a choice.

Not mine, but a choice.

Well, they had been asking us
to come out here.

We didn't wanna leave the city,

but our building
got broken into.

We just felt like

maybe we should...

we should try it out,
at least temporarily.

Well, thank goodness you're
safe and sound here with us.

So, what's the deal
with that Victorian house?

Chainsaw massacres,
titanic cult,

uh, jilted bride
who severed the head

of her lost unfaithful lover.

It's haunted as shit.

The lights go on and off
all the time by themselves.

I've seen that.

It could just be faulty wiring.

A skeptic. I like it.

Lynn,
you're the resident historian,

-catch her up.
-Well...

it was a little before my time.

A family lived there.

-The Grants?
-Yes.

And they had a daughter who...

-Died.
-In the house?

There had been whispers
of mysterious circumstances

surrounding her passing,
maybe even...

Murder.

And then the parents

moved away

and never sold the house.

So, it just sits there rotting,

pissin' off the HOA.

God, I would give
my left tit to go over there

and do a little ghost hunt.

Hi, everyone.

-It's cookie time.
-Oh.

It's like she just knows
when my sugar drops.

Rory likes to prey

on vulnerable shard sippers.

Well, this is just
much more lucrative

in this neighborhood
than in mine.

The usual

and keep the change, honey.

Hey, I saw a stroller
at your door.

I am a great mother's helper,

if that's something
that might interest you.

-How old are you?
-Thirteen next month.

I have my CPR certification,

and badges in child development,

early literacy, and swaddling.

-Swaddling? Okay
Rory: Uh-hmm.

-Sunflower scouts.
-My business card.

Feel free to reach out anytime.

-You are notary public?
-Uh-hmm.

It's like they heard us.

After all this time?

We'd love a plot twist.

♪ Ohh na-na ♪

♪ Omo je ka shi ge-ge woah ♪

♪ Ohh na-na ♪

You'd really like
this book, I promise.

It's two guys talking about

medieval construction technique.

You are so boring.

You're so hot when you cook.

Thanks, babe.

-How are the neighbors?
-Uh, good.

A bit weird.

-Yeah.
-Well, this is a cul-de-sac.

What's wrong with cul-de-sacs?

The people are weird.

I didn't know people

are weird in cul-de-sacs.

Wait. Is it culs-de-sac?

Like attorneys general?

This is give and get out.

Yeah. I hear you.

Look, when my family
first moved here,

some people didn't know
how to feel about us.

But it's a nice area

and people like to think
of themselves as nice.

So, they try to act nice
until they're actually nice.

-That's nice.
-Uh-hmm.

Don't get me wrong.
I was still a sad little kid

until I found my people.

By his people,
he means an awkward,

gangly
with a funny accent,

who had just been
dragged across the pond

-for his dad's new job.
-Funny accent?

What are you talking about?
Dude, your accent pulled.

Still pulls,
if we're being honest.

You know,
the girls call him Prince Rob.

I don't think that's true.

It's so true.

Did you know
the Victorian's for sale?

♪ Turn me out of my mind ♪

-Really?
-I'm assuming that's what

the for sale sign means.

Yeah. That would indicate that.

So, why didn't you tell me
somebody was murdered there?

What are you talking about?

The Grant girl.

-Yeah, right.
-Alison wasn't murdered.

That's just small town gossip.

Alison.

So, what happened to Alison?

I... honestly, like,

it was so long ago
that I don't remember

-a lot from about that.
-But you did know her?

Uh, yeah,

but in the same way that
everybody knows their neighbor.

Why wouldn't you tell me that?

'Cause I didn't think
it was relevant, babe.

It was like 20 years ago.

There's a reason
they call Hinkley Hills

the safest town in America.

Uh-hmm. Okay.

Well, is there anything else

you wanna tell me
about this place?

No.

Completed in 1902,

Hinkley House was built
by Hinkley Hills founder,

H. Horace Hinkley.

The mining magnate
and philanthropist purchased

25,000 acres
of hillside forest in 1898

and developed it
into the thriving suburb

that bears his name.

Today, Hinkley Hills

is more than just an idyllic
bedroom community.

It is a shining example

of fellowship and family values.

Hinkley Hills,
the safest town in America.

Here we go.

Oh, hello.
How may I help you?

Do you have
a periodical section,

collections of old newspapers,
microfiche maybe?

-I'm doing okay.
-Thank you for asking.

Oh. I'm sorry.

I am a new mom
and I'm practically feral.

I understand.

Oh, what a cute
little mocha munchkin.

Uh, to answer your question,

yes, we have bound copies

of all the Hinkley Hills Heralds

dating back to 1946.

Is there a particular date
you're interested in?

March 15th, 2005.

One moment, please.

I'm afraid that March volume
has been checked out.

-Really?
-It's due back in a week.

You can come back for it then.

It's a date, Judy.

Bill. You missed a spot, dear.

Oh, shit.
She brought the dog.

Hmm, hmm, hmm.

It's not even her house.

What is she feeding that dog?

She gon' be mad when she get
cussed out, some folks.

Oh, my goodness.

You are not gonna believe this.

Oh, my gosh.

I know.

So, are we gonna go in?

Do White ladies love salads?

Hell yeah, we're goin' in.

BRB. I'm gonna go get Lynn.

Rob, honey, if you were awake,

I would've asked what
you thought, but oh, oh, well.

I just got a chill.

Did anybody else get a chill?

-I'll do it.
-I was... I was gonna offer,

but it seems like
you already offered.

Oh, it's stuck.

Oh, well.

Oh.

Okay. Everybody, be cool.

I cannot be less cool right now.

This place
looks like a museum.

Or a mausoleum.

Oh.

That's why the lights were on.

They were stagin' the house.

-Hi, home buyers.
-How can I help you?

We are looking
for an enormous house

for our niece.

Um, we would love a tour.

Follow me.

The owners have instructed

that interior photography
is not permitted.

This is the library.

Very tasteful.

-We enjoy literacy.
-Uh-hmm.

All of the flooring is original

to the house, which was built
in the Queen Anne's style.

As you can imagine,
a little love

-and a professional sander...
-Uh-hmm.

Will go a long way.

Feel free
to show yourselves around.

Excuse me. Hello there. Welcome.

They discriminate
against older female buyers.

This always happens.

Oh, please. Our niece?

You're a really bad liar.

Well, I had to get him
to take the bait

or he might have thrown us out.

Well, it's an open house,
so by definition...

I'm gonna peek around.

This is the ugliest kitchen
I've ever seen.

Oh, no, no, no.

When did you get here?

Okay.

That's creepy.

Absolutely not.

Everything okay, ma'am?

-Yes, I'm good.
-Great house. Beautiful house.

Can you believe it?

After 20 years.

-End of an era.
-So, any intel

on our new neighbors to be?

-It was an all-cash deal.
-Quick escrow too.

Oh, they must have
really wanted it.

He. Just he.

-Go on.
-Hmm, a doctor.

-How'd you find that out?
-I have my ways.

He installed a security system
which in my expert opinion

is overkill
for a private residence.

You'd only need
a security system that robust

if you are in danger

or you have something
to hide or both.

I've never heard you say
so many words at once.

Well, I wish him luck
with the monster mansion

and I hope
he has a good contractor.

And a good exorcist.

-Babe, get up.
-Hmm?

Did you hear that?

What?

What?

-What time is it?
-2:00 AM.

Something's not right out there.

Okay. That is so weird.

Is that...

No.

-Yeah.
-Uh-uh.

Those are for the new neighbor.

But I'm sad and starving.

Too bad, I'm being nice.

Isn't this the kind of place
where the neighbors

act nice until they are nice?

-Yes, I did say that.
-Yes, you did.

Your mother's up to something.

What? I just wanna know
what his deal is.

-Don't you?
-Maybe he doesn't have a deal.

A guy moves into
a dilapidated haunted house

at 2:00 AM. Come on.

-Uh-hmm.
-He definitely has a deal.

That is weird, weird.

When did you pick that up?

Ninja.

I got him.

Five minutes on the left boob

and he was out like a light.

-That's great, babe.
-Great?

It's a miracle, okay?

If he can go to sleep
when it's dark outside

in a stationary position,
that is a game changer,

a life-affirming moment.

What are you looking at?

Your brownies are still there.

Wait, really?

Why won't he eat
the goddamn brownies?

Uh, maybe he doesn't fuck
with gluten.

Then throw 'em out
and give us the plate back.

-That's a good plate.
-It doesn't make sense.

Everyone likes brownies.
They're the Beyoncé of dessert.

And if they don't...

They're just
being contrary.

Jinx? Maybe he just didn't
see you put 'em there.

The camera was on, on.

Hmm. Sorry.

I just love it
when you get all lawyer-y.

-Order in the court.
-Oh, counsel,

-please approach the bench.
-I object.

Is there anything else
you've noticed?

-Hmm.
-Curtains opening and closing.

Could he be watching us?

Definitely could be.

I think we will, uh...

He always knows.

No, I got too cocky.

I flew too close to the sun
and now he's punishing me

like a tiny vengeful God.

-It's all right.
-I'm gonna go drive him around.

Okay.

I'm coming. I'm coming.

Thank you.

I'll be back in a sec.

-Love you.
-Love you.

Get some rest, baby.

Come on.

Fuck it.

I'm reclaiming my plate.

Who does he think he is?
Not eating my brownies?

I love my brownies.
I eat them my damn self.

Uh-hmm.

He can keep the damn plate.

Shit!

Hey, is everything all right?

Hands where I could see 'em.

What's happenin'?

We got a call about a trespasser

at the old Grant house.

And guess
who matches the description.

Hey.

What the hell is going on?

New owner said they saw
a Black person

skulking around the property.

This is a big misunderstanding.

Is it? Because apparently
it happened twice.

I was just
dropping off brownies.

Hey. This is my wife

and our house where,
where we lived with our son.

Fuck off!

Robert Fisher?

Danny Daniels from high school.

I heard you moved back.

It's okay. Baby, it's okay.

-Mommy is right here.
-Sorry, man.

You know we gotta take the call.

This is nuts.

Consider this dropped,
my good man.

Okay.

Aw. Yeah, don't worry about it.

They all kinda look
like that at that age.

Robert Fisher,

as I live and breathe.

You folks have a great evening.

Thank you.

Did you just thank the cops?

Oh, shit.

The fuck is wrong with me?

I'm sorry, babe. I...

We can't live across the street
from someone like that.

I mean, what would have happened

if I hadn't gotten there
when I did?

-What's up, man?
-This is some bullshit.

That freak narc will rue the day

he stepped foot
in Hinkley Hills.

Huh. Yeah, just used
rue the day in a sentence.

You're welcome.

-Hey.
-Hey.

Todd told me what happened.

I heard it
on the police scanner.

The hell.
What do you need, babe?

You need some wine?

How about some ice cream?

You want a hitman?
I know people.

-I'm people. Say the word.
-Okay.

We can hold on the latter,

but I could use some wine.

Yeah, it's the cure-all for all.

Even racial profiling?

We share your rage.

He will not last long here.

Spoken like a true hater.

I love this energy, my dude.

Oop, there's the sommelier now.

Oh, Rob,

this is lunacy
of outrageous proportions

and we won't stand for it.

Should I get some glasses?

Yes,
please make yourself at home.

Come here.

Okay. Yeah. Shove over.

I think we should all
sleep here tonight

safety in numbers,
hunkered down.

Someone should
always be on watch, right?

Like in the Marines?

-Yes. I will...
-I will be out front...

-Good. Okay, good.
-the entire time.

And a lot of coffee
so I will...

I'll stay up all night.
And sleep out there like a...

Todd, um, we gotta, like,

stick together right now
and form an alliance...

-Uh-uh.
-right?

-I'm a lone wolf.
-As a united front.

I got some big ass flashlights.

I'm gonna bring over
about 10 of them.

Do you have stuff that you
brought home from the Marines?

I had a lot of stuff
in the garage.

I just have to remember
the password for that case.

Oh, wow.

Are those fireflies?

Yeah.

I always wanted to see
fireflies growing up

but you can't see 'em
in the city.

It's like spotting a fairy
in the wild.

It's not fair.

I was just starting
to feel at home here.

There's space and the community.

I damn sure
don't wanna drag no stroll

up four flights of stairs.

I think we should stay.

I want Miles to have fireflies

and our family
is not gonna be run out

by some racist,
brownie-hating prick.

We're doing this.

Hell yeah, we doing this.

Comin' in?

In a minute.

I wanna smell
the sweet suburban air.

Oh, shit.