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Sorry.
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Ow! Sorry.
3
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Oh, my God. You should get that looked
at.
4
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Finally. Of course, the last room.
5
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Oh, Dad.
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He's driving me crazy this visit. I
can't leave him alone for a second. You
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should talk.
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You can't even get a pap smear without
dragging me in here.
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Go, Seabiscuit, go!
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What he needs is a companion, someone
mature with similar interests.
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00:00:37,720 --> 00:00:38,720
Hi, Dad.
12
00:00:39,580 --> 00:00:42,180
No, I don't know what time Rockford
Files is on.
13
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Oh, 7 .30 on Channel 6, then again at 10
on Channel 4.
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Did you hear that?
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Good. I'll see you when I get home.
16
00:00:52,160 --> 00:00:54,280
Bill, have you met my sister, Faith?
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00:00:54,780 --> 00:00:56,080
Wow, hot guy, no.
18
00:00:57,980 --> 00:00:59,800
You know, my dad's in town and he's
single.
19
00:01:00,120 --> 00:01:01,120
You seeing anyone?
20
00:01:01,370 --> 00:01:04,390
You know, I've kind of given up on men.
Seems like they all have too much
21
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baggage. Ah, so you turned gay?
22
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You must love your job.
23
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She's not gay.
24
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Are you? No.
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But one more 55 -year -old man who lives
with his mom and I will be.
26
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I understand dating can be a nightmare.
27
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But my dad's a pretty special guy.
28
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And he looks like a movie star.
29
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And trust me, he is...
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Absolutely no baggage. Just a nice,
normal family who loves him.
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Help. Can I get a little help here?
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Oh, my, my, my.
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Wow.
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120 over 80.
35
00:02:18,320 --> 00:02:21,480
I thought it was when Jim Rockford went
to New York and his rental car got
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stolen. Oh, I love New York, especially
in the fall. The smell from the chestnut
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vendors as you cross through Central
Park.
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I love chestnuts.
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Well, if you love chestnuts, then you
have to go by the vendor near Lincoln
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00:02:36,120 --> 00:02:41,500
Center. He really fills the bag and
sometimes gives me a free water. If you
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by my cart, I'd give you a kidney.
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00:02:49,520 --> 00:02:50,520
What's a gynecologist?
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00:02:52,160 --> 00:02:53,540
Oh, you'll find out soon enough.
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You know, when you start your period.
45
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What are you telling him that for?
46
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You know, someone has to.
47
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It's something all little boys get,
Justin. I'm sure you'll get yours any
48
00:03:07,200 --> 00:03:09,560
now. How will I know when I have it?
49
00:03:11,340 --> 00:03:12,340
Oh, you'll know.
50
00:03:12,520 --> 00:03:16,940
First, you'll start crying all the time
for no reason. And then, you'll get
51
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really bloated and have... Horrible
cramp.
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That's not the worst part.
53
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What's the worst part?
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Oh, before I forget, the lab messed up
on your fertility test, so I'll need you
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to come back in.
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00:03:38,380 --> 00:03:41,560
Fertility test? Fertility test? You got
a fertility test? Without talking to me?
57
00:03:43,360 --> 00:03:46,680
I was just curious to see if it was
possible for me to get pregnant.
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I'm not saying I definitely want to.
Good, because I don't want any more
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children.
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00:03:57,890 --> 00:04:00,630
So, who's ready for dessert?
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00:04:03,070 --> 00:04:04,970
It's called PMS.
62
00:04:06,430 --> 00:04:08,130
Psychotic Male Syndrome.
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And I get it every month?
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Until you're like 50.
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00:04:29,960 --> 00:04:31,780
I think we need to discuss this alone.
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00:04:32,400 --> 00:04:33,680
You're absolutely right.
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00:04:35,100 --> 00:04:37,660
Hope, why don't you take a walk around
the block?
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It'll save you some pain.
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00:04:41,420 --> 00:04:42,660
Oh, look, Faith.
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00:04:42,880 --> 00:04:43,880
A meteor shower.
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Where? Where?
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I thought we agreed we were done after
Justin.
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00:04:52,200 --> 00:04:54,360
Well, sometimes people change their
mind.
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00:04:54,900 --> 00:04:58,240
Look, Charlie, the kids are growing up
so fast. Before you know it, they'll be
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gone. And then what?
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Then we can go travel and do all the
things that we dreamed of.
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Like what?
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00:05:07,800 --> 00:05:14,600
Well, like traveling and touring and
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trekking.
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A lot of stuff.
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00:05:22,140 --> 00:05:27,660
Charlie, I'm just saying, I might need
to have another baby.
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00:05:29,840 --> 00:05:35,000
And it would just mean a lot to me if
you'd just keep an open mind.
83
00:05:38,320 --> 00:05:39,320
Okay.
84
00:05:40,400 --> 00:05:41,400
I will.
85
00:05:43,060 --> 00:05:47,560
Oh, my God. You're right. It's so
amazing out there. It's like fireworks.
86
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color's incredible.
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Fine. You can have another baby.
88
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But I'm picking the father.
89
00:06:05,640 --> 00:06:07,060
about the last time, Mrs. Shanowski.
90
00:06:07,280 --> 00:06:09,880
We share the results of your fertility
test back in a few days.
91
00:06:10,940 --> 00:06:14,620
Professionally speaking, what did you
think of the vagina monologues?
92
00:06:17,500 --> 00:06:19,240
Oh, my God. Look who's here.
93
00:06:22,200 --> 00:06:23,200
Hello, Mandy.
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00:06:23,860 --> 00:06:24,860
Hello, Faith.
95
00:06:25,360 --> 00:06:26,920
What's wrong? Butt rash back?
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00:06:29,540 --> 00:06:31,460
I'm not speaking to you. You just did.
97
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That's not fair. You tricked me.
98
00:06:35,820 --> 00:06:36,820
I'm here for my appointment.
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Have a seat, and we'll call you when the
doctor's ready.
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00:06:40,880 --> 00:06:42,080
I thought you two were friends.
101
00:06:42,740 --> 00:06:44,760
We were, but we had the hugest fight.
102
00:06:45,280 --> 00:06:46,280
About what?
103
00:06:46,880 --> 00:06:51,580
Well, now it's going to sound really
stupid, but... She took my longest curly
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fry.
105
00:06:56,380 --> 00:06:57,800
Why would you think that sounds stupid?
106
00:07:05,840 --> 00:07:10,380
I'm just glad she and Dad broke up. I
mean, can you imagine if they'd gotten
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serious?
108
00:07:12,560 --> 00:07:14,280
Dad, what are you doing here?
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00:07:14,700 --> 00:07:16,980
Oh, I came to surprise Ann, take her to
lunch.
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00:07:17,380 --> 00:07:21,100
I'm telling you, girls, I am walking on
air. I even looked at those new
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condominiums up on Elm Street.
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The way things are going with Ann, I may
be up here permanently.
113
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Tell you what, why don't you wait in the
car? Ann's really busy.
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Jack, it's a nice surprise.
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I came to take you to lunch. That is so
sweet. I just have one more patient, and
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the rest of the afternoon is free.
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What a coincidence.
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So is mine.
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Mandy, come on back.
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Mandy?
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Is that my Mandy?
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I'm afraid so.
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Wow. I haven't seen her in about... Nine
months.
124
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Hey, Jackers.
125
00:08:14,030 --> 00:08:15,910
Mandy, this is a surprise.
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Oh, no, and I ruined it.
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Well, you might as well tell me.
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You two know each other?
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Ann, this is... Jack.
130
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You mean... Jack -Jack?
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Jack -Jack?
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Me, Jack?
133
00:08:39,600 --> 00:08:40,720
Who's the lucky father?
134
00:08:42,559 --> 00:08:44,620
Dad is the father of Mandy's baby.
135
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Oh, my God.
136
00:08:48,160 --> 00:08:51,260
Oh, that is so great! I'm so happy for
you two!
137
00:08:51,640 --> 00:08:55,320
Oh, Mandy, let's make up. Okay, you
first.
138
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I didn't really want that curly fry.
139
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that Dad's the father of Mandy's baby.
140
00:09:20,040 --> 00:09:21,460
Are you calling me a liar?
141
00:09:21,720 --> 00:09:23,200
No, she's calling you a slut.
142
00:09:24,780 --> 00:09:25,960
Oh, okay.
143
00:09:27,560 --> 00:09:30,720
Maybe we should step inside an exam
room.
144
00:09:46,990 --> 00:09:48,470
I think Mandy should have a paternity
test.
145
00:09:48,690 --> 00:09:50,850
Hey, that's not fair. I'm terrible at
tests.
146
00:09:52,190 --> 00:09:53,250
How about a book report?
147
00:09:54,850 --> 00:09:57,030
How long did you and Mandy date?
148
00:09:57,410 --> 00:10:00,770
Please. We made out once. I would hardly
call it dating.
149
00:10:03,470 --> 00:10:04,870
Can you do a DNA test?
150
00:10:05,510 --> 00:10:09,650
We could, but I'd have to extract some
amniotic fluid, and at this stage, I
151
00:10:09,650 --> 00:10:13,890
think there's too much risk to the baby.
If Mandy says it's my baby, then I
152
00:10:13,890 --> 00:10:14,890
believe her.
153
00:10:16,400 --> 00:10:18,040
I don't understand why you didn't tell
me.
154
00:10:19,400 --> 00:10:20,640
I don't know, Jackers.
155
00:10:21,080 --> 00:10:24,160
This is supposed to be your golden years
where you get half -priced movies and
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00:10:24,160 --> 00:10:25,160
ride the bus for free.
157
00:10:27,260 --> 00:10:29,400
I didn't want to burden you with a kid.
158
00:10:29,960 --> 00:10:32,700
And I'm the one who forgot to take the
pill, so really it's my bad.
159
00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:35,400
Well, it's not all your bad.
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00:10:36,380 --> 00:10:37,440
It's half my bad.
161
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And I am the father of, uh... Boy.
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A son.
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Wow.
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A brother.
165
00:10:50,290 --> 00:10:51,750
Well, that's just great.
166
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Nice work, Dad.
167
00:10:54,470 --> 00:10:55,810
Mom would be really proud.
168
00:11:00,710 --> 00:11:01,830
She didn't mean that.
169
00:11:02,850 --> 00:11:05,650
She's just worried that she's not going
to be your second favorite anymore.
170
00:11:16,970 --> 00:11:17,970
What's wrong?
171
00:11:18,310 --> 00:11:21,250
Wow. I can't believe she's pregnant.
172
00:11:21,570 --> 00:11:23,230
I thought it was just a fertility test.
173
00:11:23,570 --> 00:11:25,270
Relax. It's not like you're the father.
174
00:11:27,290 --> 00:11:28,290
What?
175
00:11:28,930 --> 00:11:30,890
She's talking about Mandy.
176
00:11:31,090 --> 00:11:32,910
She's pregnant with Dad's baby.
177
00:11:33,350 --> 00:11:34,650
Oh, thank God.
178
00:11:36,650 --> 00:11:38,170
I mean, Mandy's pregnant?
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00:11:39,290 --> 00:11:40,530
Let's talk about that.
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You don't want me to have another baby?
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00:11:48,910 --> 00:11:49,910
Oh, good.
182
00:11:50,610 --> 00:11:52,530
The man you're really mad at is here.
183
00:11:53,870 --> 00:11:58,030
Hope, I can't believe the way you
behaved at the doctor's office. Oh, hey,
184
00:11:58,030 --> 00:11:58,709
mad, too.
185
00:11:58,710 --> 00:12:01,370
What? We're out of milk? Sure, I'll go
to the store.
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00:12:03,110 --> 00:12:04,910
The way I behaved?
187
00:12:05,270 --> 00:12:08,350
You're the one who knocked up Hot Rod
Magazine's Miss May.
188
00:12:08,850 --> 00:12:12,050
Look, I admit dating Mandy was a
mistake.
189
00:12:12,510 --> 00:12:14,490
But that mistake is my responsibility.
190
00:12:15,790 --> 00:12:18,190
Do you want an innocent baby to grow up
without a father?
191
00:12:19,790 --> 00:12:22,130
Hope, Dad is right.
192
00:12:22,630 --> 00:12:23,770
What's done is done.
193
00:12:24,750 --> 00:12:26,610
That was then. This is now.
194
00:12:27,450 --> 00:12:30,090
If we lived here, we'd be home by now.
195
00:12:32,730 --> 00:12:34,750
What the hell are you talking about?
196
00:12:36,330 --> 00:12:37,930
He's got to go with the flow, Hope.
197
00:12:38,290 --> 00:12:39,630
We're going to have a baby brother.
198
00:12:40,210 --> 00:12:41,610
Don't you want to be a part of his life?
199
00:12:46,830 --> 00:12:48,170
Hi, Anne. Hi.
200
00:12:55,390 --> 00:12:57,270
Suppose you two want some privacy.
201
00:12:58,110 --> 00:12:59,950
So we'll just be in the kitchen.
202
00:13:00,430 --> 00:13:03,650
But the dishwasher's on, so please,
speak up.
203
00:13:06,950 --> 00:13:11,950
I'm really sorry about this. I only
dated Mandy for about a week.
204
00:13:12,270 --> 00:13:13,870
I never expected this.
205
00:13:14,090 --> 00:13:15,090
I know, Jack.
206
00:13:15,170 --> 00:13:16,210
It's just that...
207
00:13:16,670 --> 00:13:22,630
This situation is a little complicated
now. I mean, Mandy is my patient, and
208
00:13:22,630 --> 00:13:25,270
this does change things.
209
00:13:27,450 --> 00:13:28,450
Doesn't it?
210
00:13:28,970 --> 00:13:30,750
I guess it does.
211
00:13:31,450 --> 00:13:34,390
So I guess it's better if we don't see
each other anymore.
212
00:13:35,550 --> 00:13:36,550
Right?
213
00:13:37,450 --> 00:13:38,450
Right.
214
00:13:40,430 --> 00:13:45,430
Well, thanks for a wonderful three
weeks.
215
00:13:47,400 --> 00:13:48,400
The best ever.
216
00:14:03,720 --> 00:14:07,340
Dad, I can't believe you let her go.
217
00:14:07,900 --> 00:14:08,980
I had to.
218
00:14:09,380 --> 00:14:13,820
Why? I can't date Anne if I'm going to
marry Mandy.
219
00:14:19,150 --> 00:14:22,010
Well, I saw a Jerry Springer that begs
to differ.
220
00:14:28,710 --> 00:14:30,510
Here's the plan. First, I apologize.
221
00:14:31,030 --> 00:14:32,210
Then we embrace the pregnancy.
222
00:14:32,490 --> 00:14:36,230
Then once my chocolate marble bundt cake
is done as magic, we subtly suggest
223
00:14:36,230 --> 00:14:39,930
that if and when Dad proposes, Mandy
respectfully decline.
224
00:14:40,210 --> 00:14:41,450
Got it? Got it.
225
00:14:58,470 --> 00:15:00,790
And don't worry, I'm so not marrying
your dad.
226
00:15:01,010 --> 00:15:04,370
Oh, yeah? Then why not? You'd be lucky
to marry our dad. He's handsome, he has
227
00:15:04,370 --> 00:15:05,370
money, fake.
228
00:15:05,490 --> 00:15:07,910
Oh, yeah, right. You're not marrying our
dad, butt cake.
229
00:15:09,910 --> 00:15:13,190
Look, I want Jack to be involved, but
we're not in love, so getting married
230
00:15:13,190 --> 00:15:14,149
would be silly.
231
00:15:14,150 --> 00:15:15,990
Besides, I have a boyfriend.
232
00:15:16,630 --> 00:15:17,630
Hey, babe.
233
00:15:18,210 --> 00:15:19,770
I need a clean urine sample.
234
00:15:20,010 --> 00:15:21,010
Sure thing, babe.
235
00:15:23,330 --> 00:15:25,010
That's Stratus. He's a wrestler.
236
00:15:26,730 --> 00:15:28,190
Though Dad's the one who knocked me out.
237
00:15:28,690 --> 00:15:29,690
Cool.
238
00:15:30,950 --> 00:15:36,010
Mandy, can you do us a favor? Could you
please just call our dad and tell him
239
00:15:36,010 --> 00:15:37,010
you don't want to marry him?
240
00:15:37,090 --> 00:15:38,530
Sure. Right after a tinkle.
241
00:15:38,770 --> 00:15:39,790
Things we do for love.
242
00:15:41,950 --> 00:15:42,950
What a relief.
243
00:15:43,710 --> 00:15:46,750
Of course, now that means Dad let Ann
get away from nothing.
244
00:15:47,150 --> 00:15:48,150
Yeah.
245
00:15:49,250 --> 00:15:51,290
If only there was something we could do.
246
00:15:52,610 --> 00:15:53,610
Fun cake?
247
00:15:59,530 --> 00:16:00,690
What are you two doing here?
248
00:16:01,230 --> 00:16:02,950
Hope has a cyst that needs draining.
249
00:16:03,190 --> 00:16:04,950
Sure. That's not why we're here.
250
00:16:06,130 --> 00:16:10,790
Look, Ann, I know Dad has a little
baggage right now, but he's crazy about
251
00:16:11,070 --> 00:16:12,810
And he walked on the moon.
252
00:16:15,790 --> 00:16:20,830
Look, Ann, you have to trust us. Dad
really wants to be with you, and you
253
00:16:20,830 --> 00:16:21,830
want to be with him.
254
00:16:22,250 --> 00:16:23,870
That sounds like love to me.
255
00:16:25,130 --> 00:16:26,130
Plus...
256
00:16:26,350 --> 00:16:28,670
He's second in line to be the king of
Slavotania.
257
00:16:31,350 --> 00:16:36,230
Play your cards right and you could be
the queen of... What country did I say
258
00:16:36,230 --> 00:16:37,230
again?
259
00:16:38,310 --> 00:16:40,150
Slavotania. Oh, so you've been there.
260
00:16:50,710 --> 00:16:52,210
Hey, Jackers. Oh, Mandy.
261
00:16:53,680 --> 00:16:57,780
Thanks for coming over. I didn't want to
discuss this on the phone while you
262
00:16:57,780 --> 00:16:59,040
were tinkling.
263
00:17:00,920 --> 00:17:03,800
Mandy, my mother raised me by herself.
264
00:17:04,140 --> 00:17:05,819
My father walked out on her.
265
00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:08,040
I never forgave him for it.
266
00:17:08,240 --> 00:17:14,880
It wasn't that it was so hard on me, but
it was so very hard on my mother.
267
00:17:15,420 --> 00:17:18,880
And I don't want that for you or our
baby.
268
00:17:23,399 --> 00:17:26,200
Mandy... Radner.
269
00:17:27,640 --> 00:17:29,800
Mandy Radner.
270
00:17:30,940 --> 00:17:33,040
Will you marry me?
271
00:17:34,320 --> 00:17:36,820
Oh, Jackers.
272
00:17:37,420 --> 00:17:40,080
Yes! Yes!
273
00:17:42,580 --> 00:17:43,980
Anne.
274
00:17:48,360 --> 00:17:49,760
Jack.
275
00:17:53,200 --> 00:17:54,520
Hello to the new Mrs. Jack.
276
00:17:55,560 --> 00:17:56,560
Fairfield. Fairfield.
277
00:18:00,080 --> 00:18:02,880
Well, it looks like Slavitania has a new
queen.
278
00:18:10,000 --> 00:18:11,000
Don't worry.
279
00:18:11,160 --> 00:18:12,380
There's no such place.
280
00:18:23,040 --> 00:18:24,340
Hey, where's your mom?
281
00:18:24,600 --> 00:18:26,220
What do I look like, 411?
282
00:18:29,180 --> 00:18:32,160
I'm sorry, Dad. I'm feeling very
emotional.
283
00:18:34,900 --> 00:18:37,020
I think I'm getting my period.
284
00:18:41,160 --> 00:18:42,160
What?
285
00:18:42,840 --> 00:18:44,560
What makes you think that?
286
00:18:54,480 --> 00:18:57,880
No, I mean, why do you think you're
going to get a period?
287
00:18:58,120 --> 00:19:00,600
It's okay. Sidney and Haley told me
everything.
288
00:19:03,640 --> 00:19:04,640
Really?
289
00:19:06,060 --> 00:19:10,620
Well, boys don't get periods, Justin.
290
00:19:10,900 --> 00:19:12,440
They don't? Nope.
291
00:19:12,680 --> 00:19:14,020
Only girls get periods.
292
00:19:14,980 --> 00:19:16,240
I feel like crying.
293
00:19:19,640 --> 00:19:22,160
Why? I'm just so glad...
294
00:19:30,440 --> 00:19:31,440
How you feeling?
295
00:19:32,120 --> 00:19:35,960
Not so great, considering my father's
about to make the worst mistake of his
296
00:19:35,960 --> 00:19:41,180
life. Well, if it's any consolation, I
think I have something that will cheer
297
00:19:41,180 --> 00:19:42,180
you up.
298
00:19:42,460 --> 00:19:47,980
I've been thinking about you wanting to
have a baby, you know, trying to keep an
299
00:19:47,980 --> 00:19:48,980
open mind.
300
00:19:49,160 --> 00:19:54,560
And I realized that it's only natural
with the kids growing up for you to feel
301
00:19:54,560 --> 00:19:59,580
empty and unfulfilled.
302
00:20:01,830 --> 00:20:04,710
So what you need is a hobby.
303
00:20:08,830 --> 00:20:09,830
A hobby.
304
00:20:09,890 --> 00:20:14,750
Exactly. And what is the one thing that
you have always said you wanted to do if
305
00:20:14,750 --> 00:20:15,750
you had the time?
306
00:20:16,310 --> 00:20:17,310
I don't know.
307
00:20:17,410 --> 00:20:18,410
Can you tell me?
308
00:20:19,850 --> 00:20:21,430
Play the piano.
309
00:20:25,590 --> 00:20:26,590
Isn't she a beaut?
310
00:20:26,970 --> 00:20:29,210
I've already prepaid for a month of
lessons. Come on, honey.
311
00:20:29,690 --> 00:20:30,810
How about a little duet?
21498
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