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1
00:00:04,130 --> 00:00:05,810
Ah! Nn! Spla! Ooh! DING!
2
00:00:08,050 --> 00:00:09,770
Is this a joke?
3
00:00:09,810 --> 00:00:11,450
Yeah!
4
00:00:13,690 --> 00:00:16,010
Mm. Oh! Urgh!
5
00:00:18,330 --> 00:00:20,570
Hrm! Agh!
6
00:00:20,610 --> 00:00:22,330
Oh, I like that!
7
00:00:22,370 --> 00:00:23,810
Ah! Wow! Hm.
8
00:00:33,810 --> 00:00:38,170
Hi! Hello! Welcome, each
and every one of you, to Taskmaster.
9
00:00:38,210 --> 00:00:41,490
I'm Greg Davies, and I've kept
my puppy fat into middle age
10
00:00:41,530 --> 00:00:45,210
to make me one cuddly tower
of man beef.
11
00:00:45,250 --> 00:00:48,770
But I'm not here to spoon you -
I'm here to pass judgment!
12
00:00:48,810 --> 00:00:52,410
Our five brave warriors are reaching
the end of the competition now
13
00:00:52,450 --> 00:00:54,290
and are coming out the other end
14
00:00:54,330 --> 00:00:57,810
with a better understanding
of themselves thanks to this show.
15
00:00:57,850 --> 00:01:00,170
As one of them put it
to me backstage,
16
00:01:00,210 --> 00:01:04,050
"Hold me, I feel like
I've been alone my whole life."
17
00:01:04,090 --> 00:01:06,490
Here they are, then,
for the ninth time -
18
00:01:06,530 --> 00:01:09,170
Alan Davies...
19
00:01:09,210 --> 00:01:11,050
..Desiree Burch...
20
00:01:11,090 --> 00:01:12,610
..Guz Khan...
21
00:01:12,650 --> 00:01:14,970
..Morgana Robinson...
22
00:01:15,010 --> 00:01:17,770
..and Victoria Coren-Mitchell!
23
00:01:17,810 --> 00:01:21,050
And now for a man who's
a bit lost when we're off air
24
00:01:21,090 --> 00:01:23,730
and passes the time
by setting himself tasks.
25
00:01:23,770 --> 00:01:27,810
Tasks like, "Try and make yourself
look like a blow-dried otter."
26
00:01:27,850 --> 00:01:30,370
"Cry when you go to the toilet
for a number two"
27
00:01:30,410 --> 00:01:33,170
"because you still don't understand
what's happening."
28
00:01:33,210 --> 00:01:38,290
And, "Show off to girls by
pretending you're modest and nice."
29
00:01:38,330 --> 00:01:39,530
It's...
30
00:01:39,570 --> 00:01:43,370
Little Alex Horne!
31
00:01:44,450 --> 00:01:47,890
Hello, Greg. I've got
a business proposition for you.
32
00:01:47,930 --> 00:01:50,370
Oh, wow. A proposal. Great.
33
00:01:50,410 --> 00:01:53,450
I will offer you 25%
of everything I've got
34
00:01:53,490 --> 00:01:56,810
if I can come round
to your luxury pad... Yeah?
35
00:01:56,850 --> 00:01:59,610
..and that's it.
I just want to visit once. Could I?
36
00:01:59,650 --> 00:02:01,890
Oh, no. No? No, I'm afraid not.
37
00:02:01,930 --> 00:02:03,490
50% of everything I've got.
38
00:02:03,530 --> 00:02:06,290
No, I don't want anything.
I could come round for 20 minutes,
39
00:02:06,330 --> 00:02:08,130
you can have 80%
of everything I own.
40
00:02:08,170 --> 00:02:10,490
No, I-I-I don't want anything
to do with you.
41
00:02:10,530 --> 00:02:12,850
Yes. Worth a try, though,
wasn't it? Worth a try.
42
00:02:12,890 --> 00:02:15,130
Yeah, it was. Really good.
43
00:02:15,170 --> 00:02:17,810
Right, what's the penultimate
prize task, Alex?
44
00:02:17,850 --> 00:02:22,210
Well, Greg, you demanded they bring
in 40 things that are all the same
45
00:02:22,250 --> 00:02:24,250
and can all fit on a towel
and are the best.
46
00:02:24,290 --> 00:02:25,730
That's correct, I did.
47
00:02:25,770 --> 00:02:28,090
Yes. The best same 40 things
that fit on a towel
48
00:02:28,130 --> 00:02:29,370
will be gifted five huge points
49
00:02:29,410 --> 00:02:32,530
and the winner of today's episode
will take home all 200 things -
50
00:02:32,570 --> 00:02:34,890
and we'll even
throw in the towel... s.
51
00:02:34,930 --> 00:02:36,050
Very good.Mm. Morgana?
52
00:02:36,090 --> 00:02:37,690
I knew you'd pick on me.
53
00:02:37,730 --> 00:02:40,010
French fries. OK.
54
00:02:40,050 --> 00:02:42,370
Yes, here are Morgana's 40 chips.
55
00:02:43,410 --> 00:02:46,650
Carbohydrates - they're
the building blocks of society.
56
00:02:46,690 --> 00:02:49,530
You're a very charming woman,
but good luck.
57
00:02:49,570 --> 00:02:52,130
Are you serious? Deadly.
58
00:02:52,170 --> 00:02:53,770
Chips are dope!
59
00:02:53,810 --> 00:02:56,810
Any time - hot, cold, sunny...
60
00:02:56,850 --> 00:02:58,650
..Riviera, Skegness.
61
00:02:58,690 --> 00:03:01,490
Oh, my God, I... I think McCain
are ringing.
62
00:03:01,530 --> 00:03:03,770
"Ch-chips are dope any time!"
63
00:03:06,490 --> 00:03:08,050
Victoria. Yes?
64
00:03:08,090 --> 00:03:11,010
Er, apart from one absolute
flash of inspiration,
65
00:03:11,050 --> 00:03:13,650
you've traditionally
done terribly in this round.Mm.
66
00:03:13,690 --> 00:03:16,010
I put it to you,
you're going to struggle
67
00:03:16,050 --> 00:03:18,330
to do worse than a handful of fries.
68
00:03:18,370 --> 00:03:19,650
Yeah. Ah, well, I...
69
00:03:19,690 --> 00:03:22,050
I think I've done better
cos I've also brought food.
70
00:03:22,090 --> 00:03:24,410
Shall we have a look?
Here they are.
71
00:03:24,450 --> 00:03:25,530
Cherry liqueurs.
72
00:03:25,570 --> 00:03:27,890
I think they are the best thing
just as an absolute.
73
00:03:27,930 --> 00:03:30,610
Some people say
that's, you know, penicillin
74
00:03:30,650 --> 00:03:33,130
or, you know,
the internal combustion engine
75
00:03:33,170 --> 00:03:36,970
or Joyce's Ulysses. I say no -
cherry liqueurs are the best thing.
76
00:03:37,010 --> 00:03:39,330
Sorry to interrupt,
do you think that cherry liqueurs
77
00:03:39,370 --> 00:03:41,210
are better than the internal
combustion engine?
78
00:03:41,250 --> 00:03:43,090
You could say
the internal combustion engine
79
00:03:43,130 --> 00:03:45,450
has ruined the planet. Oh, it has.
And I like Ulysses
80
00:03:45,490 --> 00:03:47,850
but it sort of drags a bit
after chapter 17. It does.
81
00:03:47,890 --> 00:03:49,650
But these - they are perfect.
82
00:03:49,690 --> 00:03:51,290
So it's chocolate or chips so far.
83
00:03:51,330 --> 00:03:53,330
OK. Desiree, what did you bring in?
84
00:03:53,370 --> 00:03:55,970
40 tiny trophies on a towel.
85
00:03:56,010 --> 00:03:59,130
Inside of each trophy
you've also got a pound coin,
86
00:03:59,170 --> 00:04:00,850
because nothing beats money, right?
87
00:04:00,890 --> 00:04:02,410
Like when you get a card
from your mum,
88
00:04:02,450 --> 00:04:03,730
you're like, "Yeah, thanks."
89
00:04:03,770 --> 00:04:06,810
When there's a fiver in it, you're
like, "Holy crap, Mum!" Right? So...
90
00:04:06,850 --> 00:04:08,610
Holy crap, Mum!
91
00:04:10,050 --> 00:04:11,250
Right?!
92
00:04:11,290 --> 00:04:16,690
That is absolutely delicious.
She's swept in for the big points.
93
00:04:16,730 --> 00:04:17,970
Hey, Guz.
94
00:04:18,010 --> 00:04:20,450
Tell you what I bought in. Good.
95
00:04:20,490 --> 00:04:22,730
40 tennis balls on a massive towel.
96
00:04:22,770 --> 00:04:23,970
Oh, God. Here they are.
97
00:04:25,770 --> 00:04:27,410
Here they are.
98
00:04:27,450 --> 00:04:31,290
Let me explain, let me explain.
You see tennis balls now, yeah?
99
00:04:31,330 --> 00:04:33,250
You just think they're for tennis.
100
00:04:33,290 --> 00:04:35,970
No! they can immediately
turn any situation
101
00:04:36,010 --> 00:04:37,570
into a competitive situation.
102
00:04:37,610 --> 00:04:40,170
Look, I've got a tennis ball here.
Bow! Hit it!
103
00:04:40,210 --> 00:04:43,090
If your nan's got osteoporosis,
roll it to your nan.
104
00:04:43,130 --> 00:04:45,450
Or if you want to get aggressive...
Why am I the nan?
105
00:04:45,490 --> 00:04:47,810
..and she's quite fit and healthy,
just lob it! Bang!
106
00:04:49,890 --> 00:04:52,130
Look how the whole game changed!
107
00:04:52,170 --> 00:04:53,170
Did I hear you right?
108
00:04:53,210 --> 00:04:55,010
"If your nan's got osteoporosis...
109
00:04:56,250 --> 00:04:58,010
"roll it to her - bam"?
110
00:04:58,050 --> 00:04:59,850
Yeah, like, gently to her.
111
00:04:59,890 --> 00:05:03,850
Right, Alan. The pressure's on
for you to beat everybody.
112
00:05:03,890 --> 00:05:04,970
N-nearly everybody.
113
00:05:06,370 --> 00:05:08,730
I sort of focused
on the towel, really.
114
00:05:08,770 --> 00:05:11,090
And I managed to find
a commemorative towel
115
00:05:11,130 --> 00:05:12,330
from your home town, Wem.
116
00:05:12,370 --> 00:05:13,770
Ooh! GREG GASPS
117
00:05:13,810 --> 00:05:14,810
Clever. Oh!
118
00:05:14,850 --> 00:05:19,210
And atop it, I have 40 tiny glasses
of fizzy Blue Nun.
119
00:05:20,010 --> 00:05:22,330
- My favourite wine.
- Whoa.
120
00:05:22,370 --> 00:05:24,290
That is, that's strong, bro.
Wow, OK.
121
00:05:24,330 --> 00:05:25,890
Oh, Wem.
122
00:05:25,930 --> 00:05:27,490
Land of my father!
123
00:05:29,490 --> 00:05:31,050
I'm ready to make judgment.
124
00:05:32,690 --> 00:05:34,130
Chips, one point.
125
00:05:34,170 --> 00:05:36,410
One point to Morgana.
126
00:05:36,450 --> 00:05:38,410
This is really controversial,
I think.
127
00:05:38,450 --> 00:05:40,410
I think I'm going to get in trouble
for this.
128
00:05:40,450 --> 00:05:41,610
Two points to Victoria
129
00:05:41,650 --> 00:05:45,050
because I really want his towel
full of coloured tennis balls.
130
00:05:45,090 --> 00:05:46,330
I haven't even got a nan!
131
00:05:48,570 --> 00:05:50,810
So two to Victoria. Yeah.Right.
132
00:05:50,850 --> 00:05:53,930
Three to Guz.
Er, Desiree, you almost took it,
133
00:05:53,970 --> 00:05:57,410
but he's tapped into personal
sentimentality for me, and ego.
134
00:05:57,450 --> 00:05:59,810
Yeah. But you came very close -
four points to Desiree.
135
00:05:59,850 --> 00:06:01,330
Five points to Alan.
136
00:06:01,370 --> 00:06:03,090
And Wem forever!
137
00:06:03,130 --> 00:06:05,090
Five points to Alan. APPLAUSE
138
00:06:05,130 --> 00:06:06,690
There it is.
139
00:06:07,930 --> 00:06:09,530
OK, what's first, Alex?
140
00:06:09,570 --> 00:06:12,690
We're going to have a bit of
a chinwag and some idle chitchat.
141
00:06:12,730 --> 00:06:14,970
Ooh!
142
00:06:27,130 --> 00:06:29,450
Oh, is it like an advent calendar?
143
00:06:29,490 --> 00:06:31,730
What do you mean?
144
00:06:31,770 --> 00:06:32,890
Oh.
145
00:06:32,930 --> 00:06:34,450
Do you have a favourite number,
Alan?
146
00:06:34,490 --> 00:06:36,810
I normally say 7
but actually I quite like 12.
147
00:06:36,850 --> 00:06:38,170
What do you think of 5?
148
00:06:38,210 --> 00:06:40,210
Excellent. Versatile.
149
00:06:41,930 --> 00:06:46,290
Prime number, so happy alone
or with friends.
150
00:06:48,690 --> 00:06:50,410
Oh, my God.
151
00:06:50,450 --> 00:06:52,770
"Have the longest
telephone conversation
152
00:06:52,810 --> 00:06:54,650
without the other person knowing
153
00:06:54,690 --> 00:06:59,050
"you are trying to have a long
telephone conversation." Understood.
154
00:06:59,090 --> 00:07:00,450
This is awful.
155
00:07:00,490 --> 00:07:05,130
"During the call, you must not
mention television or Taskmaster."
156
00:07:06,330 --> 00:07:07,730
This is awful.
157
00:07:07,770 --> 00:07:10,010
"Every minute, you must reveal"
158
00:07:10,050 --> 00:07:13,210
"and carry out an action
from the board."
159
00:07:13,250 --> 00:07:14,970
Oh!
160
00:07:19,210 --> 00:07:22,930
"If the person you call says
any of the key words,"
161
00:07:22,970 --> 00:07:24,730
"you must hang up immediately."
162
00:07:24,770 --> 00:07:28,050
Oh! This is awful! This is awful!
163
00:07:28,090 --> 00:07:31,570
"You must call someone
within two minutes from now."
164
00:07:31,610 --> 00:07:32,810
All right.
165
00:07:32,850 --> 00:07:34,050
Oh...
166
00:07:35,650 --> 00:07:37,610
Victoria?
167
00:07:37,650 --> 00:07:39,530
I've got no idea who to ring.
168
00:07:39,570 --> 00:07:42,250
I think I'm going to call my mum.
Mrs Morgana?
169
00:07:42,290 --> 00:07:44,130
Actually I'm going to call my dog.
170
00:07:44,170 --> 00:07:47,450
It doesn't have... It doesn't
have a phone, does it? Um...
171
00:07:47,490 --> 00:07:51,770
Oh! It's not fair! Just awful!
172
00:07:51,810 --> 00:07:53,410
My best friend. My comrade.
173
00:07:53,450 --> 00:07:54,770
No, not you this time, sorry.
174
00:07:54,810 --> 00:07:56,490
You're going to get there one day.
Not now.
175
00:07:56,530 --> 00:07:58,210
I'm going to ring the water board,
176
00:07:58,250 --> 00:08:01,530
cos they've recently sent me
an absolutely enormous bill
177
00:08:01,570 --> 00:08:03,930
for a leak that wasn't my fault.
178
00:08:03,970 --> 00:08:05,530
Just... Oh! SHE LAUGHS
179
00:08:05,570 --> 00:08:07,250
I could ring... No.
180
00:08:09,770 --> 00:08:11,130
This is awful.
181
00:08:13,970 --> 00:08:16,970
Given that you can contact anyone,
why is this such-such a horror?
182
00:08:17,010 --> 00:08:19,450
Oh... it was awful.
183
00:08:19,490 --> 00:08:22,330
I'm not a practical joke person.
No.
184
00:08:22,370 --> 00:08:26,730
I find practical jokes aggressive...
Awful... and-and... Oh!
185
00:08:26,770 --> 00:08:28,146
Look, let's crack on.
Let's have a look.
186
00:08:28,170 --> 00:08:31,170
We're going to get Victoria's shame
out the way, and... Oh!
187
00:08:31,210 --> 00:08:33,130
..add to it
with a little bit of Guz.
188
00:08:33,170 --> 00:08:34,730
Here we go, Victoria and Guz.
189
00:08:34,770 --> 00:08:36,770
Oh...!
190
00:08:36,810 --> 00:08:39,050
Oh! Off we go.
191
00:08:39,090 --> 00:08:40,450
Right. So...
192
00:08:42,370 --> 00:08:44,730
Hello. Hello, how are you?
193
00:08:44,770 --> 00:08:45,970
I'm all right.
194
00:08:46,010 --> 00:08:47,690
Yo.Sorry, I was on the phone.
195
00:08:47,730 --> 00:08:49,370
Who were you on the phone to, blud?
196
00:08:49,410 --> 00:08:51,210
A supplier.
I need to phone them back.
197
00:08:51,250 --> 00:08:54,090
No, it's really urgent shit, blud.
That's why it's really urgent shit.
198
00:08:54,130 --> 00:08:56,050
There's something I really
need to convey to you
199
00:08:56,090 --> 00:08:57,930
because of this serious situation.
200
00:09:07,130 --> 00:09:10,050
Sorry, blud. My flipping... You know
it's cos I ain't been getting sleep.
201
00:09:10,090 --> 00:09:12,930
Blud, I've been stressed.
What you stressed for?
202
00:09:12,970 --> 00:09:16,410
Just life, brother, life.
We're getting older.
203
00:09:16,450 --> 00:09:17,770
What have... what have...?
204
00:09:21,010 --> 00:09:25,370
What-what-what-what have...
what have you been up to?
205
00:09:25,410 --> 00:09:27,850
The same old, same old,
nothing very exciting.
206
00:09:29,330 --> 00:09:30,930
I've had a bit of a...
207
00:09:30,970 --> 00:09:33,290
Sorry, I'm sorry.
Do you know what?
208
00:09:33,330 --> 00:09:34,570
I'm sorry, I, um...
209
00:09:34,610 --> 00:09:36,970
You're in a giggly mood.
Been afternoon drinking?
210
00:09:37,010 --> 00:09:39,330
I haven't been afternoon drinking.
You know what?
211
00:09:39,370 --> 00:09:41,690
I haven't been drinking that much
cos I had weird thing
212
00:09:41,730 --> 00:09:44,066
with the dentist and weirdly
I had a problem with my tongue.
213
00:09:44,090 --> 00:09:46,410
I won't tell you about that,
but I've been drinking less.
214
00:09:46,450 --> 00:09:47,866
But how have you...?
how have you been?
215
00:09:47,890 --> 00:09:50,530
A mixed couple of weeks but, er...
216
00:09:50,570 --> 00:09:53,450
It's been a terrible year.
No, it has been a bad year.
217
00:09:53,490 --> 00:09:56,810
This is impossible!
218
00:09:56,850 --> 00:09:59,650
You have got the giggles!
I have got... Honestly.
219
00:09:59,690 --> 00:10:00,810
Grr!
220
00:10:02,050 --> 00:10:03,570
I need to call her back.
221
00:10:03,610 --> 00:10:06,010
No, but hold on listen,
she can... she can wait.
222
00:10:06,050 --> 00:10:07,610
Bill, you've not been giving me
223
00:10:07,650 --> 00:10:09,970
the kind of attention that I deserve
of late, of recent.
224
00:10:10,010 --> 00:10:12,330
I feel like our spiritual connection
has gone, brother.
225
00:10:12,370 --> 00:10:16,730
Well, you know it's a tough world.
It doesn't get any easier.
226
00:10:16,770 --> 00:10:17,770
Grr!
227
00:10:19,050 --> 00:10:20,770
Me and you are never not going to be
228
00:10:20,810 --> 00:10:23,690
what we're supposed to be and what
me and you's supposed to be, Bill,
229
00:10:23,730 --> 00:10:26,850
is-is brothers. Is brothers.
230
00:10:26,890 --> 00:10:29,770
And we know that lady can wait.
Hold on.
231
00:10:31,050 --> 00:10:32,170
Yeah, I should have, um...
232
00:10:32,210 --> 00:10:34,730
Well, that won't be a problem.
233
00:10:34,770 --> 00:10:36,570
We're going to get real serious
now.
234
00:10:43,410 --> 00:10:45,690
..gave me a big, slobbery kiss.
235
00:10:45,730 --> 00:10:47,490
But it's nice
that you went out, though.
236
00:10:47,530 --> 00:10:51,450
Cos it's been
weird weather. Hasn't it?
237
00:10:51,490 --> 00:10:52,570
Yeah.
238
00:10:54,050 --> 00:10:55,090
Don't put pressure on me.
239
00:10:55,130 --> 00:10:57,450
I'm trying to express myself
in different ways, bro.
240
00:10:57,490 --> 00:11:00,251
We've known each other 25 years and
you ain't heard me do this before.
241
00:11:03,250 --> 00:11:05,570
It sounds like I'm playing what?
Harmonica.
242
00:11:05,610 --> 00:11:07,450
You're a clever wallah. Here you...
243
00:11:07,490 --> 00:11:09,330
You have to hang up.
244
00:11:09,370 --> 00:11:10,610
Oh...
245
00:11:10,650 --> 00:11:13,010
There was a lovely rainbow,
did you see that?
246
00:11:13,050 --> 00:11:15,850
No, I-I must have missed
the rainbow.
247
00:11:15,890 --> 00:11:18,650
Oh! I'll-I'll call you later,
I'll call you later.
248
00:11:18,690 --> 00:11:20,930
OK.
249
00:11:20,970 --> 00:11:23,330
I forgot they had to not say it!
250
00:11:23,370 --> 00:11:25,930
I can't believe he said harmonica.
He didn't even...
251
00:11:25,970 --> 00:11:28,570
He didn't even get any GCSEs
and he knows what a harmonica is.
252
00:11:28,610 --> 00:11:30,490
What a guy!
253
00:11:33,810 --> 00:11:37,450
This is absolutely one
of my favourite tasks ever.
254
00:11:37,490 --> 00:11:39,810
You did a lovely bit of work
with the tongue thing.
255
00:11:39,850 --> 00:11:43,170
You very quickly moved on
from the subject.Yes.
256
00:11:43,210 --> 00:11:45,530
Guaranteeing that
he wouldn't repeat it,
257
00:11:45,570 --> 00:11:50,370
but I think he helped you throughout
by sounding pretty down.
258
00:11:50,410 --> 00:11:51,810
He did!
259
00:11:51,850 --> 00:11:53,210
I wrote down a couple of things.
260
00:11:53,250 --> 00:11:54,850
"Oh, it's been a terrible year."
261
00:11:54,890 --> 00:11:56,890
"It's a tough world,
it never gets easier."
262
00:11:56,930 --> 00:11:59,890
So he-he was filling
your silences nicely.
263
00:11:59,930 --> 00:12:02,250
You don't even see your friends
for months at a time,
264
00:12:02,290 --> 00:12:04,746
it was a bad period of time where
we just weren't seeing our friends
265
00:12:04,770 --> 00:12:07,090
so when you ring,
it really means something to them -
266
00:12:07,130 --> 00:12:09,466
"Oh, it's lovely to hear from you" -
and what they want is...
267
00:12:09,490 --> 00:12:11,810
They don't want you there -
"Grr! What weird weather!"
268
00:12:11,850 --> 00:12:14,090
"Ooh, my tongue's strange."
269
00:12:14,130 --> 00:12:15,930
It's not the conversation...
270
00:12:15,970 --> 00:12:17,770
I think you probably
gave him a lift!
271
00:12:19,290 --> 00:12:21,930
It's a good job it's your best
friend, Guz, that you rang,
272
00:12:21,970 --> 00:12:24,890
because you went in
pretty hard on him.
273
00:12:24,930 --> 00:12:27,530
The way you were blowing
the harmonica,
274
00:12:27,570 --> 00:12:30,210
to say, "Don't put pressure on me",
275
00:12:30,250 --> 00:12:33,050
"we've known each other
for 25 years"
276
00:12:33,090 --> 00:12:36,290
"and I'm trying to express myself
in different ways."
277
00:12:39,650 --> 00:12:42,050
He did go unfortunately, though,
in the second minute.
278
00:12:42,090 --> 00:12:45,450
1 minute 46 was the length
of his phone call. Oh, no. Oh.
279
00:12:45,490 --> 00:12:48,370
Compared to 3 minutes 41 till
Victoria's friend said rainbow.
280
00:12:48,410 --> 00:12:50,850
So it's a...
It felt like 1,000 years.
281
00:12:50,890 --> 00:12:52,570
So Victoria is in the lead.
282
00:12:52,610 --> 00:12:54,370
So far. Next up, it's time to learn
283
00:12:54,410 --> 00:12:57,330
how Alan Davies
speaks to people on the phone.
284
00:13:01,370 --> 00:13:04,490
Hello? Hey. Hey, Bec, how are you?
285
00:13:04,530 --> 00:13:05,970
Hey! Good. How are you?
286
00:13:06,010 --> 00:13:08,450
I'm all right. I...
287
00:13:08,490 --> 00:13:13,370
I've just... HE YAWNS
288
00:13:13,410 --> 00:13:15,650
..been napping.
289
00:13:15,690 --> 00:13:17,930
You've just called me to yawn?!
290
00:13:17,970 --> 00:13:19,930
Ah, you've got to hang up now. Oh.
291
00:13:19,970 --> 00:13:21,770
Got to hang up now.
292
00:13:25,610 --> 00:13:27,090
Ah...
293
00:13:27,130 --> 00:13:28,370
Ah.
294
00:13:28,410 --> 00:13:29,690
I'm going to have to text her.
295
00:13:29,730 --> 00:13:32,570
I haven't texted her
for a couple of years.
296
00:13:32,610 --> 00:13:35,570
Not even seen her
since I went to her wedding in 2015.
297
00:13:38,170 --> 00:13:40,410
Oh, I'd better ring Bec.
298
00:13:40,450 --> 00:13:42,210
Oh. OK. Thanks, Alan.
299
00:13:43,930 --> 00:13:47,530
Wow. I mean,
it couldn't have gone worse.
300
00:13:47,570 --> 00:13:48,730
I actually don't think...
301
00:13:48,770 --> 00:13:51,930
I can't remember
ever talking to her on the phone.
302
00:13:51,970 --> 00:13:53,410
So she must have thought,
303
00:13:53,450 --> 00:13:55,450
"This is a bit weird for Alan Davies
to ring me."
304
00:13:55,490 --> 00:13:59,170
"Someone must have died
or something!"
305
00:13:59,210 --> 00:14:00,730
OK, let's have a break.
306
00:14:00,770 --> 00:14:03,570
Not for good, silly.
It's a trial separation.
307
00:14:03,610 --> 00:14:05,570
I'm crazy about you.
308
00:14:14,000 --> 00:14:15,680
Hello, and welcome back!
309
00:14:15,720 --> 00:14:19,120
Before the break, there were some
protracted conversations going on.
310
00:14:19,160 --> 00:14:20,840
Yes, the contestants
are trying to have
311
00:14:20,880 --> 00:14:23,200
the longest conversations
with an unsuspecting contact
312
00:14:23,240 --> 00:14:25,720
while completing little extra tasks
along the way.
313
00:14:25,760 --> 00:14:28,080
And if their contact says
any of the key words,
314
00:14:28,120 --> 00:14:29,720
they must hang up immediately.
315
00:14:29,760 --> 00:14:33,800
Finally it's the garrulous Desiree
and the loquacious Morgana.
316
00:14:33,840 --> 00:14:35,040
Mm.
317
00:14:35,080 --> 00:14:36,480
Oh, God.
318
00:14:36,520 --> 00:14:39,640
I don't even know what I'm doing.
Shall we just do it? Good luck.
319
00:14:41,520 --> 00:14:44,560
Good morning.
Good morning, how are you doing?
320
00:14:44,600 --> 00:14:45,680
Yeah, well.
321
00:14:48,080 --> 00:14:51,760
Got to work that out.
322
00:14:51,800 --> 00:14:54,600
Hello.Hello. How are you?
323
00:14:54,640 --> 00:14:56,240
Oh, I'm OK, I'm OK.
324
00:14:56,280 --> 00:14:59,440
We're just having
a very late lunch. Oh, my God!
325
00:14:59,480 --> 00:15:01,280
I know, so late.
326
00:15:01,320 --> 00:15:05,280
I was just like,
"Oh, Morga-a-a-ana-a-a-a!"
327
00:15:06,960 --> 00:15:08,320
De...
328
00:15:08,360 --> 00:15:10,040
..ate a meal with, er...
329
00:15:10,080 --> 00:15:12,640
..sir... the NCCA and...
330
00:15:12,680 --> 00:15:15,680
..ree?
331
00:15:15,720 --> 00:15:17,680
How's the doggy? Oh, doggy's fine.
332
00:15:17,720 --> 00:15:20,600
And I thought, you know, when you're
doing your tasks when you sit down
333
00:15:20,640 --> 00:15:22,200
and talk about what you're doing,
334
00:15:22,240 --> 00:15:23,960
you could bring your name up
then anyway.
335
00:15:24,000 --> 00:15:26,640
You have to hang up.
A bit of leftover...
336
00:15:29,000 --> 00:15:32,880
..your drama club donation -
I deeply appreciate it. Of course.
337
00:15:32,920 --> 00:15:35,160
Rargh!
338
00:15:36,120 --> 00:15:38,920
How was your Thanksgiving?
Oh, I actually wound up
339
00:15:38,960 --> 00:15:42,640
getting this lovely company,
er, delivering food
340
00:15:42,680 --> 00:15:44,360
but one of the things just like...
341
00:15:44,400 --> 00:15:47,720
I don't know if it's a new allergy,
it just made my tongue swell up
342
00:15:47,760 --> 00:15:49,480
and I was like, "Yeah, uh... Huh?!"
343
00:15:49,520 --> 00:15:51,920
I think it might have been
the cranberry sauce,
344
00:15:51,960 --> 00:15:54,600
which is weird cos, er, cranberry's
supposed to be so good for you
345
00:15:54,640 --> 00:15:56,960
but, you know,
I guess it gets rid of UTIs
346
00:15:57,000 --> 00:15:58,696
and gives you, um...
other lovely problems.
347
00:16:00,800 --> 00:16:03,120
Did you have
a terrible vegan Thanksgiving?
348
00:16:03,160 --> 00:16:06,360
Actually, it was really tasty
with my parents.
349
00:16:06,400 --> 00:16:08,240
We got to have, like,
the official thing -
350
00:16:08,280 --> 00:16:13,120
the turkey, mashers and, you know,
mac and cheese, pumpkin bread
351
00:16:13,160 --> 00:16:16,760
and all the stuff, which was great.
and then Thanksgiving brunch.
352
00:16:16,800 --> 00:16:18,160
But it was good.
353
00:16:19,360 --> 00:16:22,320
I was thinking this morning
about how many different people
354
00:16:22,360 --> 00:16:25,200
you get to be, you know,
in-in one lifetime.
355
00:16:25,240 --> 00:16:28,320
Yeah, I get to... Yeah, I suppose.
356
00:16:28,360 --> 00:16:30,840
I mean, it's weird cos while
you're doing the ceremony,
357
00:16:30,880 --> 00:16:33,320
I imagine you're quite isolated.
358
00:16:33,360 --> 00:16:35,920
I mean, it's kind of not
as bad as getting drunk.
359
00:16:37,000 --> 00:16:38,856
What are you up to right now?
How was this year?
360
00:16:38,880 --> 00:16:41,160
I mean, it was... Yeah, like...
361
00:16:41,200 --> 00:16:43,800
It was a really
good learning experience.
362
00:16:43,840 --> 00:16:47,440
Um, have you ever seen a rainbow?
363
00:16:47,480 --> 00:16:48,840
Is this a trick question?
364
00:16:48,880 --> 00:16:51,200
No, I mean, just have
you ever seen a rainbow?
365
00:16:51,240 --> 00:16:52,720
You know, er, like it is...
366
00:16:52,760 --> 00:16:55,200
It's kind of both there
and not there.
367
00:16:55,240 --> 00:16:57,920
And I love that you think of
the rainbow, that you're...
368
00:16:59,320 --> 00:17:01,080
Ugh!
369
00:17:03,400 --> 00:17:08,520
Um... Damn, we were so close.
We almost had it all, Dave. Fine.
370
00:17:08,560 --> 00:17:12,360
That was... that was sick! Come on!
371
00:17:14,320 --> 00:17:17,240
That's two ones in a row now.
The good news, Greg, for Morgana
372
00:17:17,280 --> 00:17:19,600
is that it still
wasn't nearly as bad as Alan.
373
00:17:19,640 --> 00:17:21,640
It was 53 seconds compared to 20.
374
00:17:21,680 --> 00:17:24,120
Desiree, er, who did you ring?
Was it a friend, or...?
375
00:17:24,160 --> 00:17:26,680
Yes, it was my best friend, Dave.
So... Right.
376
00:17:26,720 --> 00:17:29,480
..yeah, he will accept me
in any condition. So...
377
00:17:29,520 --> 00:17:31,760
I knew it was going to be a long one
378
00:17:31,800 --> 00:17:35,480
when you, er, opened by yawning
at Dave and he simply yawned back.
379
00:17:35,520 --> 00:17:36,520
Yeah!
380
00:17:37,920 --> 00:17:40,520
It just seemed like
two friends who were...
381
00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:42,520
..really comfortable
in each other's company.
382
00:17:42,560 --> 00:17:45,080
You played the right game.
You avoided the words beautifully.
383
00:17:45,120 --> 00:17:47,120
But then, after a certain point,
384
00:17:47,160 --> 00:17:49,480
you just sounded
like you were both stoned.
385
00:17:49,520 --> 00:17:50,600
Yeah. No...
386
00:17:50,640 --> 00:17:53,160
8 minutes 27 -
very impressive from Desiree.
387
00:17:53,200 --> 00:17:55,520
So Alan gets one point,
two to Morgana,
388
00:17:55,560 --> 00:17:57,040
three to Guz with his 1 minute 46,
389
00:17:57,080 --> 00:17:58,600
four points to Victoria,
390
00:17:58,640 --> 00:18:01,520
but five to Desiree
with her 8 minutes 26. There it is.
391
00:18:01,560 --> 00:18:04,200
Oh, yes. Thank you, Dave.
392
00:18:04,240 --> 00:18:05,720
Hey, let's see a scoreboard then.
393
00:18:05,760 --> 00:18:09,600
In this episode,
they've all got multiples of three.
394
00:18:09,640 --> 00:18:12,040
Morgana on three,
Victoria, Guz and Alan all on six,
395
00:18:12,080 --> 00:18:14,800
Desiree's in the lead
with nine points! Marvellous.
396
00:18:17,840 --> 00:18:19,120
Give me more!
397
00:18:19,160 --> 00:18:20,760
Sure. Yes, more. Here we go.
398
00:18:20,800 --> 00:18:23,800
This one is a discombobulating game
of hide and seek.
399
00:18:31,520 --> 00:18:35,160
Guz... Alan...
400
00:18:35,200 --> 00:18:39,200
Victoria... Morgana...
401
00:18:39,240 --> 00:18:40,480
Oh, hello there.
402
00:18:40,520 --> 00:18:41,920
How's it going?
403
00:18:41,960 --> 00:18:45,200
This is not...
Nothing makes any sense.
404
00:18:45,240 --> 00:18:47,520
Quite restricted peripherally.
405
00:18:47,560 --> 00:18:49,880
You're restricted peripherally?
Yeah.
406
00:18:49,920 --> 00:18:52,480
I look like a superhero, don't I?
407
00:18:52,520 --> 00:18:55,200
"Strike the soldier
with your throwing paint."
408
00:18:55,240 --> 00:18:57,560
Which apparently
is a thing I have.
409
00:18:57,600 --> 00:18:59,840
Are you a soldier?
410
00:18:59,880 --> 00:19:01,000
No.
411
00:19:08,040 --> 00:19:10,800
"The soldier will say your name
every five seconds."
412
00:19:10,840 --> 00:19:13,600
"You may not remove
or tamper with your helmet."
413
00:19:13,640 --> 00:19:15,160
"Fastest wins."
414
00:19:15,200 --> 00:19:18,560
"My time starts when
I'm correctly wearing my helmet."
415
00:19:20,280 --> 00:19:22,600
You're wearing half the helmet,
Alan. Am I?
416
00:19:22,640 --> 00:19:24,880
That's the other half.
417
00:19:24,920 --> 00:19:27,640
But that should help you
find the soldier. OK.
418
00:19:27,680 --> 00:19:29,960
I can barely see as it is?
419
00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:31,920
Oh, my goodness!
420
00:19:31,960 --> 00:19:33,400
Ooh, weird.
421
00:19:33,440 --> 00:19:35,760
Oh, God. This is horrible.
422
00:19:35,800 --> 00:19:37,080
Huh?
423
00:19:37,120 --> 00:19:38,840
What can you see, Guz?
424
00:19:38,880 --> 00:19:42,200
Oh, I see. You're cheeky.
You're a cheeky man, Alex.
425
00:19:42,240 --> 00:19:46,200
I can see... Oh, well, that's...
Wait. This is ridiculous.
426
00:19:46,240 --> 00:19:49,120
You're talking to me
from, I guess, here,
427
00:19:49,160 --> 00:19:51,400
and I'm seeing you there.
428
00:19:51,440 --> 00:19:53,920
I can see, er, behind me.
429
00:19:53,960 --> 00:19:57,120
Great. So I'm holding
your throwing paint. Yeah?
430
00:19:57,160 --> 00:19:59,160
I've also got a big stick
called a nipper
431
00:19:59,200 --> 00:20:00,600
and if you bump into anything,
432
00:20:00,640 --> 00:20:03,240
I'm going to prod you with it
to stop it happening.
433
00:20:03,280 --> 00:20:06,040
Is it electric? I don't think so.
434
00:20:06,080 --> 00:20:08,400
OK, it looked like
the one they use on cows.
435
00:20:08,440 --> 00:20:09,560
So I-I'm starting the clock.
436
00:20:09,600 --> 00:20:11,520
Argh! And you're there?
I'm starting the clock,
437
00:20:11,560 --> 00:20:14,160
and the soldier will say your name
every five seconds.
438
00:20:14,200 --> 00:20:16,000
RADIO FEEDS BACK Victoria.
439
00:20:16,040 --> 00:20:20,400
Victoria... Victoria...
Victoria... Victoria...
440
00:20:20,440 --> 00:20:22,880
A classic eyes in the back
of your head game.
441
00:20:22,920 --> 00:20:24,560
It is eyes in the back of
the head time.
442
00:20:24,600 --> 00:20:27,000
We're going to see Desiree
and Guz first of all.
443
00:20:28,520 --> 00:20:30,320
RADIO FEEDS BACK Desiree.
444
00:20:30,360 --> 00:20:33,760
Desiree... Desiree...
445
00:20:35,720 --> 00:20:38,640
This is the beginning
of a very weird horror film.
446
00:20:38,680 --> 00:20:41,120
OK. I see you.
447
00:20:41,160 --> 00:20:42,640
SOLDIER, ECHOING: Guz.
448
00:20:42,680 --> 00:20:44,280
Who said my name?
449
00:20:44,320 --> 00:20:45,480
Desiree.
450
00:20:45,520 --> 00:20:48,040
All right, homey, I'm coming.
451
00:20:52,240 --> 00:20:53,520
Guz.
452
00:20:59,960 --> 00:21:01,880
You really take your eyes
for granted
453
00:21:01,920 --> 00:21:04,160
until everything's backwards.
454
00:21:04,200 --> 00:21:05,320
Desiree.
455
00:21:05,360 --> 00:21:07,000
Oh. Is that it? Oh, wait.
I should...
456
00:21:07,040 --> 00:21:08,640
You're just about to hit it.
457
00:21:08,680 --> 00:21:09,960
Was that him?
458
00:21:10,000 --> 00:21:11,880
I'll put it back up.
459
00:21:11,920 --> 00:21:13,080
Guz.
460
00:21:13,120 --> 00:21:14,240
Who is that?
461
00:21:18,640 --> 00:21:19,760
Guz.
462
00:21:22,240 --> 00:21:23,440
Where's he's actually gone?
463
00:21:23,480 --> 00:21:26,040
Is that a soldier
or a walkie talkie?
464
00:21:26,080 --> 00:21:27,560
What? Wait...
465
00:21:27,600 --> 00:21:28,680
Desiree.
466
00:21:28,720 --> 00:21:31,560
Oh. Well, how is that supposed
to help me?
467
00:21:31,600 --> 00:21:33,840
Where is he, man?
468
00:21:33,880 --> 00:21:34,880
Guz.
469
00:21:38,640 --> 00:21:40,040
Dude, where are you?
470
00:21:40,080 --> 00:21:42,760
I think he can only say "Desiree".
Ugh!
471
00:21:42,800 --> 00:21:44,560
Guz.
472
00:21:44,600 --> 00:21:45,760
Hello.
473
00:21:45,800 --> 00:21:48,320
Desiree.This...
Why am I taking this with me?
474
00:21:48,360 --> 00:21:50,080
Surely that's not going to help.
475
00:21:51,320 --> 00:21:53,880
Whoa! Who's that?
476
00:21:53,920 --> 00:21:56,240
Sofa. RADIO CHIRPS
477
00:21:56,280 --> 00:21:57,616
Alex, see the technique I'm using?
478
00:21:57,640 --> 00:21:59,960
Yeah, you're pressing the button
to make noises.
479
00:22:00,000 --> 00:22:01,320
It goes "beep-beep" - like that.
480
00:22:01,360 --> 00:22:02,880
Yeah. RADIO CHIRPS
481
00:22:04,800 --> 00:22:06,080
Is there any more danger?
482
00:22:06,120 --> 00:22:08,000
Er, yeah, there's danger
right in front of you.
483
00:22:08,040 --> 00:22:09,360
THUD! Oh!
484
00:22:09,400 --> 00:22:11,320
There's... That's a big glass panel.
Yeah.
485
00:22:11,360 --> 00:22:12,480
Desiree.
486
00:22:12,520 --> 00:22:14,320
Is this the door?
487
00:22:14,360 --> 00:22:16,640
Desiree. Yeah!
488
00:22:16,680 --> 00:22:18,480
Where are you, mate?
I'm coming for you.
489
00:22:20,000 --> 00:22:21,720
Guz.
490
00:22:21,760 --> 00:22:23,600
What is this attached to, brother?
491
00:22:23,640 --> 00:22:25,640
What's that?
492
00:22:25,680 --> 00:22:27,376
Is this going to take me
where I need to go?
493
00:22:27,400 --> 00:22:28,640
Guz.
494
00:22:28,680 --> 00:22:30,080
Don't you worry, Guz is coming.
495
00:22:30,120 --> 00:22:33,760
RADIO FEEDS BACK Desiree.
496
00:22:37,160 --> 00:22:39,120
Yeah, there is a pond
ahead of you now, so...
497
00:22:39,160 --> 00:22:42,200
There's a what? There's a pond?!
Yeah, there's a little pond.
498
00:22:44,640 --> 00:22:46,080
Guz.
499
00:22:46,120 --> 00:22:47,480
I'll give you "Guz".
500
00:22:50,080 --> 00:22:52,400
You have struck the soldier
with the paint.
501
00:22:59,520 --> 00:23:02,320
Desiree worked out that
the walkie talkie was a red herring,
502
00:23:02,360 --> 00:23:05,880
and she often walked backwards,
which makes sense
503
00:23:05,920 --> 00:23:08,240
because her eyes
are in the back of her head.
504
00:23:08,280 --> 00:23:10,600
Guz, you went for
a slightly different technique.
505
00:23:12,960 --> 00:23:15,840
You went for walking forwards
506
00:23:15,880 --> 00:23:18,840
and occasionally taking up
an aggressive ninja stance.
507
00:23:20,240 --> 00:23:23,600
The thing is, he's not
the best person to be with
508
00:23:23,640 --> 00:23:26,160
if impending danger
is round the corner, yeah?
509
00:23:26,200 --> 00:23:29,720
You could... Cos... You could have
stopped that sentence way earlier.
510
00:23:31,360 --> 00:23:34,320
He was late on it. And I could
see him in that camera, innit,
511
00:23:34,360 --> 00:23:36,240
and he had a little smile on
his face... Yeah.
512
00:23:36,280 --> 00:23:38,240
..when I was about
to bump into something,
513
00:23:38,280 --> 00:23:40,000
and he'd just tell you
at the last second.
514
00:23:40,040 --> 00:23:42,360
"Oh, be careful."
Do you know what I mean?
515
00:23:42,400 --> 00:23:44,720
But he wanted you
to hurt yourself - that's him. Yeah.
516
00:23:44,760 --> 00:23:46,456
I didn't want to...
I just didn't want to...
517
00:23:46,480 --> 00:23:48,856
I didn't want to nip in too early
if the nip was unnecessary,
518
00:23:48,880 --> 00:23:51,440
then sometimes I was too late.
12 minutes 54 from Guz. Wow.
519
00:23:51,480 --> 00:23:53,920
And what was Desiree's?
8 minutes 30.
520
00:23:53,960 --> 00:23:56,440
Oh, hey. Pretty swift.
So far the fastest.
521
00:23:56,480 --> 00:23:57,680
Advert time!
522
00:23:57,720 --> 00:24:00,200
Go and order a load
of plastic stuff you don't need
523
00:24:00,240 --> 00:24:02,920
so that a billionaire
can waste money on rockets.
524
00:24:11,920 --> 00:24:14,640
Hello! Here we are again.
525
00:24:14,680 --> 00:24:15,840
I know, right?
526
00:24:15,880 --> 00:24:18,520
Before the break, there was
a man hiding, and there still is.
527
00:24:18,560 --> 00:24:20,880
With a camera feed showing
only what's behind them,
528
00:24:20,920 --> 00:24:22,840
our rivals had to tread carefully
but swiftly
529
00:24:22,880 --> 00:24:25,200
to find the silly soldier
in the ghillie suit.
530
00:24:25,240 --> 00:24:28,480
Next it's good old, old Alan,
and Victoria.
531
00:24:30,320 --> 00:24:32,040
Um... Alan.
532
00:24:32,080 --> 00:24:34,320
Ooh, I heard someone say my name.
533
00:24:34,360 --> 00:24:37,120
Came from that direction.
534
00:24:37,160 --> 00:24:39,560
Ah, this is really strange.
535
00:24:39,600 --> 00:24:41,000
Victoria.
536
00:24:41,040 --> 00:24:42,320
Ah!
537
00:24:42,360 --> 00:24:43,400
Alan.
538
00:24:43,440 --> 00:24:45,200
Yes, all right. I know.
I-I'm coming.
539
00:24:45,240 --> 00:24:46,280
Victoria.
540
00:24:46,320 --> 00:24:49,080
I... Can they say something else?
541
00:24:49,120 --> 00:24:50,960
Can't even think where my hand is.
542
00:24:52,320 --> 00:24:54,560
Is that him standing on the pillar?
543
00:24:59,800 --> 00:25:02,040
Victoria. Ah! Stop it!
544
00:25:02,080 --> 00:25:04,080
Why do they keep saying "Victoria"?
545
00:25:06,160 --> 00:25:07,240
Victoria. Ah!
546
00:25:09,120 --> 00:25:10,720
Oh, that didn't help, did it?
547
00:25:10,760 --> 00:25:11,800
Alan.
548
00:25:11,840 --> 00:25:15,680
Ah. You've gone off somewhere else.
549
00:25:15,720 --> 00:25:17,600
Victoria.
550
00:25:17,640 --> 00:25:20,160
What shall I do, then?
What do you think you should do?
551
00:25:20,200 --> 00:25:21,600
Turn it off, make it stop.
552
00:25:21,640 --> 00:25:24,480
I'm coming upon
another walkie talkie.
553
00:25:24,520 --> 00:25:27,520
It's got something attached to it.
What does that do?
554
00:25:28,920 --> 00:25:31,200
I can't see a soldiser. Alan.
555
00:25:31,240 --> 00:25:32,240
What?
556
00:25:33,280 --> 00:25:34,520
Ooh...
557
00:25:34,560 --> 00:25:36,080
Oh, that's outside.
558
00:25:36,120 --> 00:25:39,160
Oh, my lord. Should I go outside?
559
00:25:39,200 --> 00:25:40,320
Victoria.
560
00:25:40,360 --> 00:25:43,320
I don't even really understand where
that door is, never mind the voice.
561
00:25:43,360 --> 00:25:44,480
Which door?
562
00:25:44,520 --> 00:25:47,160
Well, is that a door?
Is it a window?
563
00:25:47,200 --> 00:25:50,280
I can't tell.
I think there's a door somewhere.
564
00:25:50,320 --> 00:25:52,320
There is a door
directly behind you. Alan.
565
00:25:52,360 --> 00:25:55,640
What's this here?
Is this a direction?
566
00:25:57,360 --> 00:25:59,640
Can I just stay here?
567
00:25:59,680 --> 00:26:03,360
Oh! So it means it's here, right?
Wh-what is there?
568
00:26:03,400 --> 00:26:04,960
The door that I just saw.
569
00:26:05,000 --> 00:26:07,000
Well, there's another walkie talkie.
570
00:26:07,040 --> 00:26:09,760
Do you think we should turn it off,
like we did the other one?
571
00:26:09,800 --> 00:26:12,760
Oh. You can look
where you're going, but...
572
00:26:12,800 --> 00:26:15,240
Well, I can't, can I?
Oh, yes, I can. Yeah.
573
00:26:15,280 --> 00:26:19,120
OK. Yes! What?! That was a person!
Where was it? Where is it?
574
00:26:19,160 --> 00:26:21,400
Alan.Hello.
575
00:26:21,440 --> 00:26:23,760
I feel like I'm going to
fall to my death.
576
00:26:23,800 --> 00:26:26,120
Is the thing in the middle
of the path like a well?
577
00:26:26,160 --> 00:26:27,560
I mean... It's a pond.
578
00:26:27,600 --> 00:26:30,240
Why would I just walk blindfolded
towards a pond?
579
00:26:30,280 --> 00:26:32,200
You're not blindfolded.
You can see.
580
00:26:32,240 --> 00:26:34,080
And I think I've found the soldier.
581
00:26:34,120 --> 00:26:35,240
Alan.
582
00:26:35,280 --> 00:26:37,600
Have you found the soldier?
Well, I don't know.
583
00:26:37,640 --> 00:26:40,040
There's a sort of Christmas tree.
Is that it there?
584
00:26:43,480 --> 00:26:44,840
I've stopped the clock, Alan.
585
00:26:44,880 --> 00:26:46,560
Victoria.
586
00:26:46,600 --> 00:26:47,680
How did that go?
587
00:26:47,720 --> 00:26:48,960
I've stopped the clock.
588
00:26:51,000 --> 00:26:53,880
You know, for two people
who are, yeah, pretty well known
589
00:26:53,920 --> 00:26:57,840
for being intelligent,
it is incredible to watch.
590
00:26:57,880 --> 00:27:00,400
I mean, Victoria,
until she got outside,
591
00:27:00,440 --> 00:27:03,440
never at any point
considered walking backwards.
592
00:27:03,480 --> 00:27:06,600
No. I mean, would you say
that not wanting to walk backwards
593
00:27:06,640 --> 00:27:09,320
blindfolded towards a pond
is not a sign of intelligence?
594
00:27:09,360 --> 00:27:11,800
But when you were indoors,
never at any point did you think,
595
00:27:11,840 --> 00:27:14,160
"I should use this camera
that's on the back of my head."
596
00:27:14,200 --> 00:27:15,280
Never occurred to me.
597
00:27:15,320 --> 00:27:18,160
Literally, until I saw you do that,
never crossed my mind.
598
00:27:18,200 --> 00:27:21,320
And just to go to the next level,
at one point,
599
00:27:21,360 --> 00:27:26,400
Alan tried to speak down
a walkie talkie through his camera.
600
00:27:28,360 --> 00:27:31,160
So I think it's fair to say
there was a level of confusion.
601
00:27:32,600 --> 00:27:34,920
I'm expecting
incredibly slow times.
602
00:27:34,960 --> 00:27:38,360
Victoria was only
a minute slower than Guz.
603
00:27:38,400 --> 00:27:40,040
13 minutes 30.
604
00:27:40,080 --> 00:27:42,400
But compare that
to Alan's 19 minutes 20.
605
00:27:42,440 --> 00:27:46,240
We were going round and round
those corridors for quite some time.
606
00:27:46,280 --> 00:27:47,680
Lovely. Finally...
607
00:27:47,720 --> 00:27:49,640
Yes, finally, it's Morgana!
608
00:27:51,360 --> 00:27:52,600
Morgana.
609
00:27:53,960 --> 00:27:55,880
Oh, that's really tough.
610
00:27:58,880 --> 00:28:00,200
Morgana.
611
00:28:05,000 --> 00:28:07,960
Oh, this is a good idea, actually,
isn't it?
612
00:28:08,000 --> 00:28:09,760
Morgana. Is it? Oh.
613
00:28:16,320 --> 00:28:17,480
Morgana.
614
00:28:19,360 --> 00:28:22,160
Give me my stuff.
615
00:28:24,400 --> 00:28:25,400
Ah!
616
00:28:28,920 --> 00:28:31,240
Morgana. SHE LAUGHS
617
00:28:32,600 --> 00:28:34,480
I've stopped the clock.
618
00:28:34,520 --> 00:28:36,920
Yay! APPLAUSE
619
00:28:36,960 --> 00:28:39,960
Thank you.
Thank you, Morgana. Thanks, guys.
620
00:28:41,280 --> 00:28:44,920
I mean that was lightning fast,
wasn't it?
621
00:28:44,960 --> 00:28:48,480
She walked backwards for a little
bit but largely was just fearless.
622
00:28:48,520 --> 00:28:50,920
She, er, went the right way,
which helped.
623
00:28:50,960 --> 00:28:53,280
And then she was passing the door
when the soldier spoke.
624
00:28:53,320 --> 00:28:55,720
Whereas Guz just carried on down
that corridor at that point.
625
00:28:55,760 --> 00:28:58,240
To be honest...
I mean, I've got to tell you this.
626
00:28:59,520 --> 00:29:01,120
..I could see a little bit.
627
00:29:01,160 --> 00:29:02,960
Ah! MORGANA LAUGHS
628
00:29:03,000 --> 00:29:07,640
Because... I think it's cos my eyes
are bulgier than everyone else's.
629
00:29:07,680 --> 00:29:12,040
So I could see there wasn't any,
like, immediate obstacles.
630
00:29:12,080 --> 00:29:14,640
But, I mean, what I would say...
631
00:29:14,680 --> 00:29:18,040
..if you're going to saddle a horse
up make sure you saddle it up right,
632
00:29:18,080 --> 00:29:20,320
but don't blame the horse. Yeah.
633
00:29:20,360 --> 00:29:22,680
Oh, hang on a minute.
I put the saddle on the horse.
634
00:29:22,720 --> 00:29:24,960
Hm. Yeah. Ah, well, disqualified.
635
00:29:25,000 --> 00:29:27,320
So... No!
No, I'm joking, I'm joking.
636
00:29:27,360 --> 00:29:29,680
It's not my day,
Victoria! It's not your fault.
637
00:29:29,720 --> 00:29:32,040
You're not disqualified.
It's not your fault. Am I not?
638
00:29:32,080 --> 00:29:34,400
There's only one person to blame
for you being able to see,
639
00:29:34,440 --> 00:29:36,440
and that's the person,
as you quite rightly... Oh.
640
00:29:36,480 --> 00:29:39,040
..pointed out... I'm so sorry, Alex.
..fitting the equipment.
641
00:29:39,080 --> 00:29:41,400
and he'll be punished off-camera
in the traditional way.
642
00:29:41,440 --> 00:29:45,200
Not the traditional way!
Yes, the traditional way!
643
00:29:45,240 --> 00:29:47,560
Um, well done.
She takes the points.
644
00:29:47,600 --> 00:29:49,480
Well, she did do it in 1 minute 39.
Wow.
645
00:29:49,520 --> 00:29:51,880
She was moving so much swifter
than anyone else, so I think
646
00:29:51,920 --> 00:29:54,240
it would've happened anyway,
I'm pretty sure. Ratified!
647
00:29:54,280 --> 00:29:56,600
With that ratification,
it means Alan was the slowest -
648
00:29:56,640 --> 00:29:58,960
he gets one point.
Then Victoria gets two, Guz three,
649
00:29:59,000 --> 00:30:01,680
four to Desiree but five
swift points to Morgana Robinson!
650
00:30:01,720 --> 00:30:03,560
Lovely. APPLAUSE
651
00:30:03,600 --> 00:30:06,080
And I should like one more, please.
652
00:30:06,120 --> 00:30:07,440
I won't let you down.
653
00:30:07,480 --> 00:30:10,120
And this one
sends shivers down my spine.
654
00:30:23,080 --> 00:30:24,800
Hello. Hi, Alan.
655
00:30:27,480 --> 00:30:28,520
Hi, guys.
656
00:30:31,240 --> 00:30:32,760
"Get goosebumps."
657
00:30:32,800 --> 00:30:36,360
"Your goosebumps
must be revealed in the lab."
658
00:30:36,400 --> 00:30:38,760
"Fastest wins."
659
00:30:38,800 --> 00:30:41,360
What's the last line? What?
What's the last line?
660
00:30:41,400 --> 00:30:42,640
Oh, OK.
661
00:30:44,880 --> 00:30:46,880
"Your time starts now"!
662
00:30:46,920 --> 00:30:49,720
Great. Well, let's get into it.
Let's see who got goosebumps.
663
00:30:49,760 --> 00:30:52,080
There are lots of types
of goosebumps, obviously.
664
00:30:52,120 --> 00:30:53,840
There's a series of books
called Goosebumps,
665
00:30:53,880 --> 00:30:57,320
which were in the caravan, but
let's see how these guys did it.
666
00:30:57,360 --> 00:30:59,680
Here is a bit of Burch,
a clip of Khan
667
00:30:59,720 --> 00:31:00,960
and some more Morgana.
668
00:31:02,160 --> 00:31:05,040
Have they got...? They got to do
with temperature, innit?
669
00:31:08,600 --> 00:31:11,360
I don't the best place
to get goosebumps.
670
00:31:11,400 --> 00:31:14,600
I don't think
this is going to work.
671
00:31:14,640 --> 00:31:16,960
Is anything happening here?
Nothing?
672
00:31:17,000 --> 00:31:18,240
I can't see any goosebumps.
673
00:31:18,280 --> 00:31:20,040
Extreme heat to extreme cold.
674
00:31:20,080 --> 00:31:22,520
Yeah, I'm going to shove it
in my sleeve, yeah?
675
00:31:22,560 --> 00:31:23,880
Let's get cold.
676
00:31:25,120 --> 00:31:27,600
Extreme heat
coupled with extreme cold.
677
00:31:27,640 --> 00:31:29,280
If I just...
678
00:31:31,920 --> 00:31:33,280
That's warm.
679
00:31:33,320 --> 00:31:35,160
Can you...? Can you blow on my neck?
680
00:31:35,200 --> 00:31:37,520
Is that a thing
I can ask you to do?
681
00:31:37,560 --> 00:31:40,360
I think I might just stand outside
and then come, run back in.
682
00:31:40,400 --> 00:31:42,800
Sure. That's not worked.
683
00:31:42,840 --> 00:31:43,880
Is it working?
684
00:31:43,920 --> 00:31:45,160
I don't...
685
00:31:45,200 --> 00:31:48,000
All I feel is moist! SHE LAUGHS
686
00:31:48,040 --> 00:31:50,520
I don't feel anything bumping.
687
00:31:50,560 --> 00:31:54,120
Right, let's check.
I feel cold and that.
688
00:31:54,160 --> 00:31:55,840
Have we got any?
689
00:31:55,880 --> 00:31:58,200
Yeah, it's reddening there
but there's no goosebumps.
690
00:31:58,240 --> 00:32:00,720
Hold on a minute.
You got to shock yourself.
691
00:32:00,760 --> 00:32:04,400
Ooh! It's about
to get wild in here today.
692
00:32:04,440 --> 00:32:05,680
Hi.
693
00:32:07,360 --> 00:32:12,320
Cor! It's leaking in my crack.
Ah-ha-ha!
694
00:32:12,360 --> 00:32:14,960
I don't know how
to manufacture them bumps.
695
00:32:15,000 --> 00:32:17,320
I mean, being scared,
but I don't know...
696
00:32:17,360 --> 00:32:19,680
Like, I'd have
to be like petrified like in a...
697
00:32:19,720 --> 00:32:21,480
Are there any ghosts in this house?
698
00:32:21,520 --> 00:32:23,840
How about I just...?
Why don't you try and shock me?
699
00:32:23,880 --> 00:32:26,120
Boo! Boo. No, I mean...
700
00:32:26,160 --> 00:32:27,320
Boo?
701
00:32:27,360 --> 00:32:28,920
Better. Be better than that.
702
00:32:28,960 --> 00:32:33,320
"20 scary ghosts videos
you won't watch right now." Yes!
703
00:32:33,360 --> 00:32:34,696
Are you sc...? Are you scared yet?
704
00:32:34,720 --> 00:32:37,120
No. Show me them ghosts.
705
00:32:37,160 --> 00:32:39,400
Argh!
706
00:32:39,440 --> 00:32:41,080
Again. Argh!
707
00:32:41,120 --> 00:32:43,000
No, it's not... Argh!
708
00:32:43,040 --> 00:32:44,440
It's not scary enough!
709
00:32:44,480 --> 00:32:46,200
This is terrible.
710
00:32:46,240 --> 00:32:47,920
It has to come at me or something.
711
00:32:47,960 --> 00:32:49,520
Argh! Whoa, that's...!
712
00:32:49,560 --> 00:32:52,960
Argh!
713
00:32:53,000 --> 00:32:54,480
Whaa!
714
00:32:54,520 --> 00:32:55,760
It's not working, mate.
715
00:32:59,560 --> 00:33:00,760
I've stopped the clock.
716
00:33:03,640 --> 00:33:06,280
Hmm, there's some bumpage.
I'm not crazy -
717
00:33:06,320 --> 00:33:08,720
look at those follicles,
they're definitely enflamed.
718
00:33:08,760 --> 00:33:09,800
I've stopped the clock.
719
00:33:09,840 --> 00:33:12,240
This is only other another idea
I had.
720
00:33:12,280 --> 00:33:16,640
This chicken was trying to shag
a goose outside.
721
00:33:16,680 --> 00:33:18,920
So it contracted...
722
00:33:18,960 --> 00:33:20,680
..goosebumps. You can confirm it.
723
00:33:20,720 --> 00:33:23,280
Feel-feel-feel that.
Feel that there.
724
00:33:23,320 --> 00:33:25,320
What is that? That's a bump. Huh.
725
00:33:25,360 --> 00:33:26,960
It's an apple.
726
00:33:27,000 --> 00:33:30,520
You weren't supposed to take it out,
isn't it? It's a bump, isn't it?
727
00:33:30,560 --> 00:33:33,080
It's an apple.
Did you want me to stop the clock
728
00:33:33,120 --> 00:33:35,920
after finding the apple
in the chicken? Probably, yeah.
729
00:33:37,000 --> 00:33:39,240
I've stopped the clock.
730
00:33:39,280 --> 00:33:40,280
Thanks.
731
00:33:43,800 --> 00:33:48,160
Guz, the mistake that you made
was to employ the services of Alex,
732
00:33:48,200 --> 00:33:50,720
because he's the least scary person
on Earth.
733
00:33:50,760 --> 00:33:54,560
He can't bear any kind of,
er, physical closeness.No.
734
00:33:54,600 --> 00:34:00,080
So you asking him to blow
on your neck was hell for Alex.
735
00:34:00,120 --> 00:34:02,480
You'll notice he had to go
and get a pipe and a fan
736
00:34:02,520 --> 00:34:03,960
to distance himself from you.
737
00:34:04,000 --> 00:34:06,640
His poor wife. It's awful.
738
00:34:06,680 --> 00:34:08,440
Well, we've got
a lovely pipe at home.
739
00:34:08,480 --> 00:34:10,280
It's a bit more colourful
than that one.
740
00:34:12,240 --> 00:34:15,440
Ah, you've got your romance pipe.
Yes. The loving pipe.
741
00:34:15,480 --> 00:34:18,240
If it's any consolation, Guz,
you putting ice down your back
742
00:34:18,280 --> 00:34:22,320
and then it dripping into your
arse crack gave me goosebumps.
743
00:34:22,360 --> 00:34:25,720
Morgana, what we actually saw
was you running outside
744
00:34:25,760 --> 00:34:27,400
and then returning
with goosebumps
745
00:34:27,440 --> 00:34:30,040
and I've-I've filled
in the narrative. And hoo-hoo!
746
00:34:30,080 --> 00:34:32,400
I shouted, "Everybody stay inside!"
747
00:34:32,440 --> 00:34:34,760
And then I ran out
and I literally stripped off
748
00:34:34,800 --> 00:34:37,920
and I-I got my, all my bare skin
and I sort of hugged the dome.
749
00:34:37,960 --> 00:34:40,360
Yeah. Right, OK.It worked.
750
00:34:40,400 --> 00:34:41,760
I've got goosebumps again.
751
00:34:43,120 --> 00:34:46,040
She got her goosebumps visibly
in 2 minutes 49.
752
00:34:46,080 --> 00:34:48,400
Wow! Wow. So it's pretty speedy.
Wow.
753
00:34:48,440 --> 00:34:50,760
Desiree, did she get
some goosebumps? She did.
754
00:34:50,800 --> 00:34:52,680
Yeah, they weren't
massively visible but...
755
00:34:52,720 --> 00:34:55,320
I'm sorry my goosebumps
aren't big enough to satisfy you.
756
00:34:55,360 --> 00:34:56,880
But, you know... Yes, yes.
757
00:34:56,920 --> 00:35:00,200
..the pipe didn't really
get me there, Alex.
758
00:35:00,240 --> 00:35:01,840
It was difficult
to pick them on camera
759
00:35:01,880 --> 00:35:06,240
but it was 24 minutes 30
of desperation that got us there.
760
00:35:06,280 --> 00:35:09,400
What about old drippy crack?
761
00:35:09,440 --> 00:35:11,320
Yeah.
762
00:35:11,360 --> 00:35:16,040
Well, it depends if you accept that
there was a bump on that goose.
763
00:35:16,080 --> 00:35:18,840
I categorically do not accept that.
764
00:35:20,680 --> 00:35:23,840
Well, in that case, he gave up
after ten and a half minutes.
765
00:35:23,880 --> 00:35:25,320
Right! One part left,
766
00:35:25,360 --> 00:35:28,600
and soon someone will win
a few old chips
767
00:35:28,640 --> 00:35:30,480
and some coloured tennis balls.
768
00:35:30,520 --> 00:35:33,680
This, my friends,
is primetime Channel 4!
769
00:35:33,720 --> 00:35:35,120
See you soon.
770
00:35:40,880 --> 00:35:44,800
Hello, and welcome back to
the final part of episode nine.
771
00:35:44,840 --> 00:35:46,640
What's left to finish, Alex?
772
00:35:46,680 --> 00:35:47,880
Goosebumps, Greg.
773
00:35:47,920 --> 00:35:49,760
They're trying to get them
as fast as they can.
774
00:35:49,800 --> 00:35:51,640
The route-oners - Desiree,
Guz and Morgana -
775
00:35:51,680 --> 00:35:53,320
had some success with ice.
776
00:35:53,360 --> 00:35:56,520
But what will the wise old sages,
Alan and Victoria, come up with?
777
00:35:58,560 --> 00:36:00,160
It's been so cold and now it's...
778
00:36:02,840 --> 00:36:04,080
..it's sort of warm.
779
00:36:04,120 --> 00:36:06,000
Oh, I can leave the room.
Can I leave the room?
780
00:36:06,040 --> 00:36:08,000
Oh, all the information's
on the task.
781
00:36:14,920 --> 00:36:16,640
What do you think gets goosebumpy?
782
00:36:16,680 --> 00:36:20,440
Do you think it's your writing hand
or your non-writing hand?
783
00:36:21,800 --> 00:36:23,520
Ooh-hoo-hoo!
784
00:36:28,200 --> 00:36:30,120
How long do goosebumps
take to arrive?
785
00:36:32,000 --> 00:36:34,760
This is a very thick jumper
I've got on. Mm?
786
00:36:34,800 --> 00:36:36,400
Maybe I should take that off.
787
00:36:36,440 --> 00:36:40,800
I realised that plan wouldn't work
because it's too warm in here.
788
00:36:40,840 --> 00:36:42,160
So I've drawn them on.
789
00:36:42,200 --> 00:36:43,400
Ooh...
790
00:36:43,440 --> 00:36:46,640
Ooh, look at those goosebumps,
ooh. Oh, look at that.
791
00:36:46,680 --> 00:36:49,360
I've stopped the clock. Is that
what you wanted me to do? Yes.
792
00:36:49,400 --> 00:36:52,520
OK, I hope you go and get war...
Oh. Right.
793
00:36:52,560 --> 00:36:54,440
I've warmed up. SHE LAUGHS
794
00:36:56,360 --> 00:36:58,800
I mean, at the moment,
I'm getting more sort of...
795
00:37:00,400 --> 00:37:01,920
..frostbite and chilblains.
796
00:37:03,240 --> 00:37:04,680
I'll go outside for a minute.
797
00:37:08,600 --> 00:37:10,960
Sitting outside on
a winter's afternoon
798
00:37:11,000 --> 00:37:13,880
in a T-shirt with your hands
in a bowl of ice.
799
00:37:16,880 --> 00:37:18,320
How can I add to this?
800
00:37:20,040 --> 00:37:23,000
Someone else's goosebumps?
A goose?
801
00:37:28,440 --> 00:37:30,080
Ah.
802
00:37:30,120 --> 00:37:32,920
Those are chicken legs -
they've got bumps on.
803
00:37:32,960 --> 00:37:36,120
Do you want me to stop the clock?
Yeah.
804
00:37:38,440 --> 00:37:40,760
I've stopped the clock.
You've got goosebumps. Hmm.
805
00:37:40,800 --> 00:37:44,000
Your hand... Your hands are red.
Going to put them under a hot tap.
806
00:37:45,680 --> 00:37:46,920
Heartbreaking.
807
00:37:48,480 --> 00:37:49,760
I mean, if the task had been
808
00:37:49,800 --> 00:37:51,800
"Make yourself look like
a plague victim..."
809
00:37:54,120 --> 00:37:55,680
Just absolute rubbish.
810
00:37:55,720 --> 00:37:58,320
Well, it's up to you.
Did these guys get goosebumps?
811
00:37:58,360 --> 00:37:59,360
Well, Victoria didn't.
812
00:37:59,400 --> 00:38:00,920
Wait, had someone
gone to the caravan
813
00:38:00,960 --> 00:38:02,400
and got the books called Goosebumps
814
00:38:02,440 --> 00:38:04,760
and brought them in,
would you have accepted that?
815
00:38:04,800 --> 00:38:07,136
Yes, or shown us a clip on YouTube
of the movie Goosebumps -
816
00:38:07,160 --> 00:38:09,576
that would've counted. So it didn't
have to be literal goosebumps.
817
00:38:09,600 --> 00:38:11,600
Figurative goosebumps
were acceptable. Yes.
818
00:38:11,640 --> 00:38:13,960
Therefore ones created
by arts and crafts - acceptable.
819
00:38:14,000 --> 00:38:16,520
Yeah, if they look like goosebumps.
I think that is the problem.
820
00:38:16,560 --> 00:38:18,560
Yours were... Well...
..not bumps or goosey.
821
00:38:18,600 --> 00:38:20,920
Do-do the books - the Goosebumps -
look like goosebumps?
822
00:38:20,960 --> 00:38:23,280
No, but they're called Goosebumps.
They do say...
823
00:38:23,320 --> 00:38:25,640
Well, those, I call
them goosebumps. You, you do.
824
00:38:25,680 --> 00:38:28,320
But you're not known nationally
as "old goosebump arm", are you?
825
00:38:28,360 --> 00:38:30,320
I WASN'T. So you can't just...
826
00:38:31,840 --> 00:38:35,000
Well, yeah, that's a good point.
Retrospectively.
827
00:38:35,040 --> 00:38:37,360
So if she gets the nickname
"old goosebump arm",
828
00:38:37,400 --> 00:38:38,320
you'll give her a point?
829
00:38:38,360 --> 00:38:42,120
If I see evidence on the internet
that the name "old goosebump arm"
830
00:38:42,160 --> 00:38:45,760
has stuck for you, then I will
retrospectively award you points.
831
00:38:45,800 --> 00:38:48,760
It would make her win this task.
She was 58 seconds to get her...
832
00:38:48,800 --> 00:38:50,240
Hmm... old goosebump arm.
833
00:38:50,280 --> 00:38:53,640
Alan, you had very cold hands...
Was really cold.
834
00:38:53,680 --> 00:38:56,000
..and then you,
in a fairly lacklustre way,
835
00:38:56,040 --> 00:38:59,800
brought in a packet of chicken legs.
End of task.Yeah.
836
00:38:59,840 --> 00:39:02,320
Goosebumps are called goosebumps
cos they resemble
837
00:39:02,360 --> 00:39:05,480
the skin of-of fowl
including chicken thighs.
838
00:39:05,520 --> 00:39:08,760
He was also very slow.
13 minutes 51. So...
839
00:39:08,800 --> 00:39:10,280
So it doesn't matter?
840
00:39:10,320 --> 00:39:12,560
Well, nothing matters, but...
841
00:39:14,200 --> 00:39:16,720
We haven't got time
for an existential crisis!
842
00:39:18,520 --> 00:39:20,480
It looks like the Chicken Bringer...
843
00:39:20,520 --> 00:39:22,760
The Chicken Bringer!
844
00:39:22,800 --> 00:39:25,800
..has, er, garnered some points.
Right sum it all up.
845
00:39:25,840 --> 00:39:28,160
OK.Well we're saying
that Guz and Victoria
846
00:39:28,200 --> 00:39:29,600
did not get goosebumps
in the end.
847
00:39:29,640 --> 00:39:31,960
Er, sorry Guz and who? Oh, sorry.
848
00:39:32,000 --> 00:39:37,160
We're saying Guz
and Old Goosebump Arm did not get...
849
00:39:37,200 --> 00:39:40,160
Old Goosebump Arm!
850
00:39:40,200 --> 00:39:42,200
We're saying that they didn't
get any goosebumps
851
00:39:42,240 --> 00:39:44,560
and so they also don't
get any points. Correct.
852
00:39:44,600 --> 00:39:45,920
Desiree was actually the slowest
853
00:39:45,960 --> 00:39:48,280
to get these
tiny little goosebumps, 24 minutes.
854
00:39:48,320 --> 00:39:49,240
She gets three points.
855
00:39:49,280 --> 00:39:52,600
Chicken Bringer gets four points
with his 13 minutes 51.
856
00:39:52,640 --> 00:39:54,280
Whereas Morgana, the Dome Hugger,
857
00:39:54,320 --> 00:39:56,920
gets five points
after 2 minutes 49 seconds.
858
00:39:56,960 --> 00:39:58,640
There it is. APPLAUSE
859
00:39:58,680 --> 00:40:01,040
Scores update, please.
860
00:40:01,080 --> 00:40:03,600
In this episode, we have
a leader by three points -
861
00:40:03,640 --> 00:40:05,880
it's Desiree! Whee! On 16 points.
862
00:40:10,520 --> 00:40:14,880
OK, it's that time again.
Please make your way to the stage.
863
00:40:14,920 --> 00:40:17,280
You know why -
it's the final task of the show.
864
00:40:22,560 --> 00:40:24,280
Guz, please can you read the task?
865
00:40:26,160 --> 00:40:29,040
"Get the highest score
by sliding your ducks."
866
00:40:29,080 --> 00:40:32,120
"Each team will slide
a pair of ducks three times."
867
00:40:32,160 --> 00:40:35,480
"The duck slider
must smirk at the Taskmaster"
868
00:40:35,520 --> 00:40:37,280
"whilst sliding their ducks."
869
00:40:37,320 --> 00:40:40,840
"The winning team
will receive five points per person."
870
00:40:40,880 --> 00:40:42,720
"The losing team will get zero."
871
00:40:42,760 --> 00:40:44,280
So, Greg, it's a team task.
872
00:40:44,320 --> 00:40:46,640
The team of three -
you're going to have one go each.
873
00:40:46,680 --> 00:40:47,976
You two, one of you will go twice.
874
00:40:48,000 --> 00:40:50,000
Who wants to go twice,
Victoria or Alan?
875
00:40:50,040 --> 00:40:51,360
I think Alan should go twice.
876
00:40:51,400 --> 00:40:53,920
Alan will go twice.
Both teams start on zero.
877
00:40:53,960 --> 00:40:56,280
We're going to start
with Desiree Burch.
878
00:40:59,440 --> 00:41:00,600
Come on, Desiree!
879
00:41:03,400 --> 00:41:04,600
Please slide your duck.
880
00:41:06,600 --> 00:41:08,280
Wow. Ooh!
881
00:41:08,320 --> 00:41:11,040
Wow, that is a flying opener.
882
00:41:11,080 --> 00:41:13,320
8 points, Greg. All right.
883
00:41:15,840 --> 00:41:17,360
Oh.
884
00:41:17,400 --> 00:41:18,600
And that...
885
00:41:18,640 --> 00:41:20,400
I'll just check.
886
00:41:20,440 --> 00:41:21,960
It's over the 4.
887
00:41:22,000 --> 00:41:23,560
Whoa!
888
00:41:23,600 --> 00:41:26,000
Boom! All right, all right.
889
00:41:26,040 --> 00:41:28,280
Strong opener. OK, who's next?
890
00:41:28,320 --> 00:41:30,720
Alan Davies for his first
of two slides.
891
00:41:30,760 --> 00:41:33,440
Right. Get your smirk on.
892
00:41:33,480 --> 00:41:34,800
Come on, Alan.
893
00:41:34,840 --> 00:41:36,760
Smirking, smirking.
894
00:41:40,120 --> 00:41:42,760
A lovely smirk,
and that's a clear 4 points.
895
00:41:42,800 --> 00:41:45,360
4 points.Oosh.
Not bad. Take your time, Alan.
896
00:41:45,400 --> 00:41:47,720
I think you put too much energy
into the smirk,
897
00:41:47,760 --> 00:41:48,880
if you don't mind me saying.
898
00:41:52,360 --> 00:41:53,480
Is that a good smirk?
899
00:41:53,520 --> 00:41:55,080
Lovely. Focus on your duck push.
900
00:41:55,120 --> 00:41:58,040
Can't... I can't relax.
I always laugh when I'm nervous.
901
00:41:58,080 --> 00:41:59,440
It's a terrible affliction.
902
00:41:59,480 --> 00:42:02,120
It'll get me so much trouble
in torture conditions.
903
00:42:06,400 --> 00:42:08,240
Ooh! That duck's legs
904
00:42:08,280 --> 00:42:10,240
are in the ÷ 2 category.
905
00:42:10,280 --> 00:42:12,520
Oh! Still a positive. Oh, cruel.
906
00:42:12,560 --> 00:42:14,040
The team of two are on 2 points. OK.
907
00:42:15,960 --> 00:42:17,560
Next up, it's Guz Khan.
908
00:42:19,840 --> 00:42:22,240
Oh. That was strong. ALL: Ooh!
909
00:42:22,280 --> 00:42:24,200
Back to zero. Back to zero.
910
00:42:25,240 --> 00:42:27,480
Oh, babe, it's OK.
911
00:42:27,520 --> 00:42:28,840
Suddenly it's 2-0.
912
00:42:30,560 --> 00:42:31,720
You can do this.
913
00:42:33,320 --> 00:42:35,160
Nice smirk. Ooh!
914
00:42:35,200 --> 00:42:36,760
So close, but 4's good.
915
00:42:36,800 --> 00:42:38,760
Is it 4? 4's good.
916
00:42:38,800 --> 00:42:40,080
It's a 4.4's good.
917
00:42:40,120 --> 00:42:41,800
Sorry, guys. Sorry, guys. Sorry.
918
00:42:41,840 --> 00:42:43,280
Doesn't matter, we're still in it.
919
00:42:43,320 --> 00:42:46,240
It's 4-2, Greg, and it's Victoria's
turn to slide and smirk.
920
00:42:46,280 --> 00:42:47,640
Oh, who?
921
00:42:47,680 --> 00:42:50,880
Oh, sorry it's,
it's Old Goosebump Arm's turn.
922
00:42:50,920 --> 00:42:53,600
The Old Goosebump Arm
is ready for action.
923
00:42:53,640 --> 00:42:54,800
Get that smirk on.
924
00:42:59,080 --> 00:43:00,480
It's my weaker arm.
925
00:43:00,520 --> 00:43:02,280
Well, it's not...
it's not a disaster.
926
00:43:02,320 --> 00:43:03,960
It's not a disaster.
We'll just check.
927
00:43:04,000 --> 00:43:06,320
Those are going in the 2.
928
00:43:06,360 --> 00:43:08,040
Yeah, yeah. Oh, well done.
That's good.
929
00:43:08,080 --> 00:43:10,320
That has drawn the scores level.
930
00:43:10,360 --> 00:43:11,480
Ooh! Yeah.
931
00:43:14,360 --> 00:43:15,600
It's ÷ 2.
932
00:43:15,640 --> 00:43:17,440
It's better than -10.
Yes, it is. Yes, it is.
933
00:43:17,480 --> 00:43:19,320
It's better than -10.
Well done. Sorry, Alan.
934
00:43:19,360 --> 00:43:21,360
OK, so their 4 has been
divided by 2. They're on 2.
935
00:43:21,400 --> 00:43:22,960
The team of three are on 4.
936
00:43:23,000 --> 00:43:24,720
It's the final, Greg. It is.
937
00:43:24,760 --> 00:43:27,080
This is the team of three's
final shoves.
938
00:43:27,120 --> 00:43:30,360
I believe in your profoundly.
Stop it. No presh.
939
00:43:31,760 --> 00:43:33,000
That's not a smirk.
940
00:43:33,040 --> 00:43:35,280
I'm going to push, OK? Yeah.
941
00:43:36,440 --> 00:43:38,440
That duck is a 4.
942
00:43:38,480 --> 00:43:40,720
Yeah, girl. Lovely. Yes!
943
00:43:42,000 --> 00:43:44,360
Take your time, Morgana.
944
00:43:46,000 --> 00:43:47,040
Ah! Ah!
945
00:43:47,080 --> 00:43:48,840
It's x 2. Wow!
946
00:43:48,880 --> 00:43:51,560
Yeah! Oh, wow.
947
00:43:51,600 --> 00:43:53,080
Bwow-bwow-bwow!
948
00:43:53,120 --> 00:43:54,720
Team!
949
00:43:54,760 --> 00:43:57,000
OK, Greg, it's 16 plays 2. Ah.
950
00:43:57,040 --> 00:43:59,360
But we've got swap scores here.
Uh-oh.
951
00:43:59,400 --> 00:44:00,920
Anything could still happen.
952
00:44:00,960 --> 00:44:03,320
Alan, please take the duck
for the final time.
953
00:44:05,680 --> 00:44:06,840
Thank you.
954
00:44:09,960 --> 00:44:12,680
Ooh! It's a solid start. Oh!
955
00:44:12,720 --> 00:44:15,080
It's a x 2. I just needed
a few more inches there.
956
00:44:18,040 --> 00:44:20,400
This is it, Alan.
Oh, no, I can't watch.
957
00:44:20,440 --> 00:44:23,200
I-I think he's going to do it,
I think he's going to do it.
958
00:44:25,160 --> 00:44:26,320
Ah!
959
00:44:27,680 --> 00:44:30,680
Oh! I feel like he's done it.
He's done it, he's done it.
960
00:44:30,720 --> 00:44:33,040
I think it's over it,
I think it's over it. Ah.
961
00:44:33,080 --> 00:44:35,400
I think that's it,
I think that's it.
962
00:44:35,440 --> 00:44:36,600
Ah! No, no, no, no, no!
963
00:44:39,480 --> 00:44:41,080
Yes! No, no. MORGANA: Bingo.
964
00:44:41,120 --> 00:44:42,880
It's...
I'm-I'm calling for the VAR.
965
00:44:44,640 --> 00:44:46,360
I'm afraid, as your human VAR,
966
00:44:46,400 --> 00:44:48,280
I can confirm it's only x 2.
967
00:44:48,320 --> 00:44:53,520
Yes! Team! Whoo! APPLAUSE
968
00:44:53,560 --> 00:44:56,200
The final scores, Greg,
were 8 to the team of two,
969
00:44:56,240 --> 00:44:58,760
but 16 to the team of three.
970
00:44:58,800 --> 00:45:01,840
Duck me, what a scorcher!
971
00:45:01,880 --> 00:45:05,720
Come back down and we'll add those
to the final scores.
972
00:45:08,720 --> 00:45:11,000
We were one inch away from
973
00:45:11,040 --> 00:45:14,160
the most incredible score swap
there's ever been.
974
00:45:14,200 --> 00:45:16,440
And yet no cigar.
975
00:45:16,480 --> 00:45:18,800
So Victoria and Alan
don't get any points.
976
00:45:18,840 --> 00:45:22,800
Ah. Desiree, Guz and Morgana
get five points each. There it is.
977
00:45:22,840 --> 00:45:24,040
Nice.
978
00:45:24,080 --> 00:45:25,760
And that means Victoria remains
979
00:45:25,800 --> 00:45:27,680
rooted to the bottom of the table
on 108.
980
00:45:27,720 --> 00:45:33,040
Desiree on 140,
Alan 142, Guz 145, Morgana 150.
981
00:45:34,160 --> 00:45:36,560
But in this particular episode,
we do have one clear winner -
982
00:45:36,600 --> 00:45:39,920
with 21 points, it's Desiree Burch!
Yes! Desiree!
983
00:45:39,960 --> 00:45:41,280
Desiree wins! Baby!
984
00:45:41,320 --> 00:45:45,840
Five towels and 200 things -
please go and get 'em, tiger.
985
00:45:45,880 --> 00:45:48,240
Yes! Yeah, Dee, go.
986
00:45:49,640 --> 00:45:52,840
So what have we learnt today?
We've learnt that if you happen to
987
00:45:52,880 --> 00:45:55,800
be driving past a house in Coventry
and you see an old woman
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00:45:55,840 --> 00:45:58,760
bouncing around the room
after some tennis balls,
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00:45:58,800 --> 00:46:02,520
don't panic - it's just Guz Khan
trying to keep his nan flexible.
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00:46:02,560 --> 00:46:05,880
Right, next time is final time.
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00:46:05,920 --> 00:46:07,600
Exciting times!
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00:46:07,640 --> 00:46:11,480
But for now it's Desiree's time.
Goodbye!
75377
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