All language subtitles for New Tricks - S04E04 - Nine Lives

Come on.

Thanks. Bye.

- Hi.
- Hi.

Hello, um, my
name is Jack Halford.

I've come to sign my will.

Ah, right.

Ahh. Mr. Halford.

At last we meet again.

Perhaps I should
read it through.

Well, you're more
than welcome to,

but the wording is exactly
as we said it would be

three years ago.

Have your circumstances
changed at all

since Mrs. Halford passed on?

No, no, no. Nothing's changed.

Then sign it!

Thank you.

I have to see him now!

Blunt, you and I need to talk.

We have discussed
this, Mr. Hepple.

If you wish to speak to me,

you must make an
appointment and wait your turn.

I have been
waiting for 10 years.

Then 10 minutes won't
make any difference, will it?

Excuse me. Who
do you think you are?

Detective
Superintendent Pullman.

Who are you?

The cat is dead,
Blunt. The cat is dead.

What cat?

♪ It's all right, it's okay ♪

♪ Doesn't really matter
if you're old and gray ♪

♪ It's all right, I
say it's okay ♪

♪ Listen to what I say ♪

♪ It's all right, doing fine ♪

♪ Doesn't really matter
if the sun don't shine ♪

♪ It's all right, I
say it's okay ♪

♪ We're getting to
the end of the day ♪

Subtitling made
possible by Acorn Media

You know those stories
about dotty old ladies

who leave their house and
their money to their pets.

Thought it was an urban myth.

Well, that's exactly what
Harry's Aunt Dorothy did.

To be honest, we didn't
think the will would stand.

Harry, who you just met,
spent years contesting it.

But it seems I'm a better
solicitor than I thought.

Of course, now it's going
to start all over again.

Why?

The last of the lucky
cats passed on last week.

And as cats tend
not to leave wills,

it means the estate
is back up for grabs.

And where does
that leave you legally?

Well, we're not entirely sure.

The obvious solution would be

for Harry and his
sister, Caroline,

to split everything.

But there's a third claimant.

Another family member?

No, a Dale Hewson has been
the housekeeper and cat sitter

since Dorothy died.

He thinks he's owed.

And what do you think?

I find it a bit ironic that any of
them think they have a claim,

considering Dorothy
lay dead for two weeks

before any of them even noticed,

as her beloved cats ate her.

Bloody hell.

I'm sorry. Look, this
is your appointment.

Were there any
suspicious circumstances

surrounding the death?

Actually there was
an investigation,

but I don't think it
came to anything.

I don't suppose you
can remember the name

of the investigating officer.

Jack.

- It can wait.
- All you had to do was sign!

- I just need a bit more time.
- Why?!

- I just do.
- Oh!

February '96, Caroline
Baker visits her Aunt Dorothy.

But when she gets there,

the door's locked and
the curtains are drawn.

She rings the doorbell,

no joy, so she
rattles the letter box.

And it's then she
notices the smell.

Ooh. Aunt Dorothy, I presume?

And 30 cats.

But she doesn't call the
police. She calls the RSPCA.

She's more worried about
the cats than the auntie?

Apparently.

Anyway, they break down the door

and find Dorothy dead
in her favorite chair.

Well, at least some of Dorothy.
The cats have got hungry.

Serves her right
for having them.

See, a dog would have
raised the alarm, got help.

Not that stupid thing of yours.

Scampi is not stupid.
Just gets a bit confused.

Yeah, and I wonder
where he gets that from.

Can we just get
back to the case?

Told you, Jack, there isn't one.

The old lady just
slipped away in her sleep.

The cat thing is revolting,
but it's not criminal.

The original investigation
was inconclusive.

'Cause there was
nothing to investigate.

Sandra, there's
more to it than that.

The way the nephew
was behaving...

I'm sorry, Jack.
The answer is no.

There's just not
enough evidence.

Okay. Fine.

Um, why were you at
the solicitors anyway?

Getting his will signed.

Oh.

Yeah?

Gov, this is Liam Donnelly.

He's the RSPCA inspector
who found the body.

He was a friend of Dorothy's.

There'd been a lot of
complaints about the cats

from the bloke next door.

So I'd been helping her
bring down the population.

Liam thinks the
death was suspicious.

When the door was kicked
in, all the cats came flying out.

And that's when we realized
what had happened to poor Dorothy.

It's very tragic, but
it's not suspicious.

No, wait.

The... The reason that
she got so many complaints

was because she
let those cats run wild.

She let them run
all over the place.

She always left the kitchen
window open for them.

But that day the
kitchen window was shut.

There was just no
way for them to get out.

That's why they
did what they did.

Someone must have
shut that window.

To delay the body being found.

I told all this to the police,

but they weren't interested.

Yes, well, thanks, Liam.
Thanks for coming in.

And don't worry. We're
going to look into all this.

Jack, a word.

It's not enough.

Oh, I haven't been to
the pictures for years.

Here, Sandra. Fancy
a snog in the back row?

Shut up, Gerry. Jack,
what's this all about?

Dr. Lau performed
the autopsy on Dorothy,

and he's gonna take
us through his findings.

You said you wanted
more evidence.

No, I wanted you
to drop the case.

Have I had a wasted journey?

- Yes.
- Not at all.

And thank you for
your time, Doctor.

Right.

I concentrated on time
and cause of death.

Cor. Poor old bugger.

The first was fairly
straightforward.

There was considerable
insect infestation.

The fatter the maggots,

the longer they'd
been on the corpse.

She died sometime on the ninth,
two weeks before she was found.

And only a day after
she was last seen alive.

Cause was more problematic.

Given her age, my usual
hypothesis would have been

she'd died of
untreated pneumonia.

But there was nothing in
her recent medical history

to suggest it.

A toxicology screen
ruled out poisoning.

And there were no broken bones,

so I didn't think
she'd been beaten.

- So she wasn't murdered, then?
- No, I didn't say that.

I'd only ruled out beating
and poisoning so far.

There's more than
one way to skin a cat.

Well, if you'd been a
pathologist, you'd have laughed.

Oh. Yes.

Luckily, her feline friends
hadn't got as far as the brain.

So I cracked her skull,

and I found hemorrhaging in
the bony part of her inner ear.

It's an indicator
of asphyxiation.

So she was suffocated?

Maybe. We couldn't look
for the other indicators.

But you suspect foul play?

Suspect, yes.

Prove, no.

It's too speculative!

You can say that about any case.

It's all speculation until
we prove otherwise.

Am I right?

Old people die, Jack!

And I know you
don't want to hear this,

but sometimes they
pass away unnoticed.

- Sandra...
- No bowls.

- What?
- At the crime scene.

If you have a pet,

you always leave out
bowls of food and water.

Dorothy had over 30 cats.

There'd have been
bowls everywhere.

So what?

Dr. Lau said that
the cats had eaten

most of the physical evidence.

Maybe somebody
was banking on that.

Which is why the kitchen
window was locked.

No food. No way out.

Nature had to take its course.

This was a murder.

Expensive cats' home.

Yeah, that's got to be
one and a half, two million.

Depending on the state
of it structurally, of course.

You can check for damp
when we get in, Gerry.

- Hello.
- Morning.

Jonathan, this is Gerry
Standing, Brian Lane.

- Hiya.
- How do?

Thank you for coming.

I wasn't looking
forward to explaining

the ins and outs to the family.

It's all very straightforward.

They can't carve up the spoils

until our investigation
is complete.

Yes, that all sounds
perfectly reasonable. To me.

I'm not sure the Hepple family

will be quite so
laid-back about it all.

They inside?

Actually, they're in
the middle of a funeral.

- Sorry?
- For the cat.

Shall we?

♪ What's new, pussycat? ♪

- What the hell is that?
- Tom Jones.

I know it's Tom Jones!

That'll be the
neighbor, Tim Cuswell.

Dorothy had a few problems
with him over the years.

I'll go and have a word.

I'd rather not go into
the cat house anyway.

- Why not?
- I'm allergic.

♪ Lots of hours to
spend with you ♪

♪ So go and powder your
cute little pussycat nose ♪

♪ Pussycat,
pussycat, I love you ♪

Hello? Mr. Cuswell?

My, my, that's a lot
of noise for a little dog.

Truman! Truman! That's enough.

Sorry, it's a private party.

Yes, a very loud one.

- Could you just...
- No, I couldn't.

I'm celebrating.

And I don't care
what anyone says!

Who are you, anyway?
One of Hepple's lackeys?

No, my name's Brian Lane.

I'm part of a
police investigation

into the death of
Dorothy Hepple.

Why didn't you say
that in the first place?

Come in.

♪ I do ♪

♪ You and your pussycat eyes ♪

♪ What's new, pussycat? ♪

♪ Whoa-oa-oa... ♪

Ah. That's better.

Dorothy even
planned the flowers.

White chrysanthemums only.

Oh, just so you know,

the couple are Caroline...
That's Dorothy's niece...

And her husband, Peter.

Harry you know.

That chap there is Dale Hewson.

The cat sitter.

Can you smell sausages?

Truman, stop
bothering our guest.

I'm sorry. He's got no manners.

So this is quite a party.

It's a celebration for
me getting my life back.

Every last one of those
murdering moggies

is in the ground.

And we couldn't be
happier, could we, Truman?

I understand you and
Dorothy didn't get along.

I loathed the woman.

I did mention I'm part
of a murder investigation.

Oh, I didn't kill her.

- I wanted to, though.
- Why?

Stay where you are.

Excuse me. What
are you doing here?

Harry, who are these people?

Detective
Superintendent Pullman.

I'll be heading up
an investigation

into your aunt's death.

And, I'm sorry, until
that's happened,

all her assets will be frozen.

What? I've got a house to
put on the market and sell.

Oh, for goodness' sake.

That's all the legal letters.

And the pink file is
council correspondence.

And the green one
is my incident log.

My solicitor advised
me to keep that.

What for?

I was going to sue
Dorothy Hepple.

I was going to have her
evicted, committed, imprisoned.

Whatever it took to
get her out of my life.

She couldn't have been that bad.

Have you ever awakened to find
your lawn covered in cat muck?

Pigeon guts on your doorstep?

Have you ever been kept awake

by the shrieking
of copulating cats?

And it's not just now and then.

It was every miserable day.

I get your point.

And every day
there were more cats.

I kept hoping that
she would be too old

to go out searching for strays.

But then her bloody niece

started bringing
them 'round for her.

It just never stopped.

It's all there.

Every scratched fence post.
Every plant that they dug up.

Every fouling incident.

So I see.

And the notes.

Mrs. Hepple used to love
firing off her little notes.

Don't be fooled by
the nice handwriting.

Some of them were quite rude.

Did you never
think about moving?

The house was on the market
for two years with no offers.

The bottom line is,

would you want to live
next door to a cats' home?

Now, this must have
been where she was found.

You really shouldn't be in here.

I'm sorry. We were just looking.

I've kept this room
just how Dorothy liked it.

All her little knickknacks
and whatnots.

Yeah, nice.

It's all rubbish, really.
Not worth a penny.

But Dorothy loved them.

Not that that means
anything to that lot out there.

All this will be in a skip
if they have their way.

I'm sorry. Excuse me.

The final straw was when
Boycott was murdered.

There's the file about it.

The vet took the picture.

My God.

One minute he was
playing happily in the garden,

and the next, blood everywhere.

He'd been clawed to death.

By Dorothy's cats?

You must have been devastated.

Incandescent.

I tried to have it out with her.

I banged on the door.

I shouted through
the letter box.

But there was no answer.

If it's all right with you,

I'd like to hang on
to these for evidence.

Do you want the
physical evidence too?

It's all dated.

It's poo.

Every pile of cat dropping

I've found on my lawn
over the last 10 years.

What better
illustration is there

of what I've had to put
up with in all that time?

Very graphic.

Aren't you going to take it?

Not just yet.

Don't want it
thawing out, do we?

Good thinking.

I think he's a bit of a recluse.

There's nothing to be gained
from going over old ground.

It's just gonna be upsetting.

I would say there's quite a lot
to be gained. It's a nice house.

Yes, it will be, once we've
got rid of the smell of cat piss

and sold it on to a
decent developer.

That was never the...

How much longer should
we be expected to wait?

You have no idea what
we've been through.

Particularly my wife.

It's disgusting.

No. You're all disgusting.

Dorothy wouldn't have
wanted all this carry-on.

Despite her death,

Dale always seems to know
what my aunt would have wanted.

It's an amazing talent.
He should join the circus.

Someone has to
protect her interests.

We all know whose
interests you're looking out for.

That's enough, Harry.
Haven't you realized?

They think one of us
killed Aunt Dorothy.

She didn't just die in her
sleep like we all thought.

She was murdered.
Someone killed her.

Rubbish.

- Harry.
- Leave him.

You know what he's like.

Come on.

How'd they take it?

Over the moon.

Heel. Heel!

Ohh!

Now, Scampi, listen.

This is your last
chance with Esther.

So come on.
Let's get this right.

Are you listening to me?

Now, you stay.

Stay.

Now, stay.

Stay.

Stay.

Stay.

Oh, Scampi!

Bloody hell!

Heel! Come on! Heel!

Heel! Aah!

Anyway, it's not his fault.

He's just got a very
short attention span.

He tries to listen.

He just gets distracted,
goes off at a tangent.

You know what I mean?

Yes, I am familiar
with the concept.

I think he's got A.D.D.
Attention deficit disorder.

Oh, rubbish.

No, I mean it. He's
got all the signs.

Ow!

Then maybe it's time we
admit that he's too much for us

and gave him to somebody
who can cope with him.

- What, meaning I can't cope?
- Well, look at the state of you.

He's got problems, Esther, yes.

That doesn't mean
we've just got to dump him.

If he goes, I go.

Ow.

- How did that old geezer...
- Morning.

I got him to fax through all
the paperwork on Dorothy's will.

Cor blimey.

During the last 12
months of her life,

she redrafted it six times.

Crikey. Do we know why?

It seemed to depend on
who was flavor of the month.

One was in favor of
Caroline, one for Harry.

One split between
the two of them.

But then two weeks before
she died, the cats got lucky.

Huh! No wonder Caroline
and Harry were pissed off.

A fortnight earlier, they
would have been in the money.

They thought they were.

No one knew the
cats had inherited

until the reading of the will.

No one?

What about Dorothy's
little helper, Dale?

What are you saying?

Well, he's playing the
big martyr act, right,

about looking after the cats

'cause that's what
Dorothy would have wanted.

But think about it.

For 10 years he'd been living
rent-free, with spending money,

in a nice house in Chiswick.

Seems to me it worked
out all right for him.

What, looking after
a houseful of cats

with a taste for human flesh?

You know, I will never
understand cat owners.

Look at this.

It's a cat.

Do you know why their
tongues are all rough?

Because they're
covered in sharp points

for stripping meat from bones.

Fascinating.

They've also got teeth

that are designed for
cutting and shredding

and retractable claws
for pinning down prey.

And people keep them as pets.

Any of that relevant, Brian?

Yes. Know thy enemy.

Look, Dale was the only one
who ever listened to Dorothy.

He knew everything
that was going on.

- I'd like to question him.
- Okay.

Whilst you do, find
out where he was

whilst Dorothy was lying dead.

'Cause that's the
bit that gets me.

Where were they all?

I suppose, Gerry, you and I
had better go and interview

the loving niece and nephew,
find out if they had any alibis.

So, what do investment
bankers actually do?

They buy stocks and
shares and then sell them.

I see you don't know either.

Gerry, it takes me a week to
decipher my bank statement.

So if we... Oh! Oh, Mr. Hepple

Excuse me. What do
you think you're doing?

Coming to see you.

At my place of
work? I don't think so.

Well, make it quick.

The markets are about to open.

You must really enjoy your work.

No one enjoys high finance.

The hours are long, your
colleagues are all assholes,

and the pressure is crippling.

But there's no other job where
you can earn so much money

in such a short time.

Where were you for the two weeks

before your aunt's
body was found?

In Singapore. On business.

Can you prove that?

Well, how? It was
over 10 years ago.

What about company
records? When did you fly out?

I can't remember.

Was it before or after
Sunday the ninth of February?

I don't know.

I'll check, okay?

Now, are we done?

You know, I hope you're giving
Dale the third degree as well

and not buying his
mincing little act.

Did you always
resent him so much?

Not at all.

No, getting Aunt
Dorothy a home help

seemed like a good
idea at the time.

But Dale took over her life.

I couldn't talk to Dorothy
without him being there.

What did you want
to talk to her about?

- Family business.
- The will?

We heard that she
was making changes.

But it was her money.

It was family money, and it
should have stayed that way.

I don't care if that
sounds mercenary.

In my job you learn not
to be ashamed of money.

Or the desire for it.

Tosser.

♪ I dream my dreams away ♪

Let's do a bit
better on this one.

♪ Anytime you're Lambeth way ♪

♪ Any evening, any day ♪

♪ You'll find us all ♪

Get ready.

♪ Doing the Lambeth Walk ♪

♪ Oi! ♪

Come on, I want
everybody to join in.

And I mean everybody.

♪ You'll find us all ♪

♪ Doing the Lambeth Walk ♪

♪ Oi! ♪

♪ Roll out the barrel ♪

♪ We'll have a barrel of fun ♪

Doesn't sound like it.

♪ Roll out the barrel ♪

♪ We've got the
blues on the run ♪

♪ Zing, boom, tararrel ♪

What does that mean?

♪ Sing out a song
of good cheer ♪

♪ Now's the time
to roll the barrel ♪

♪ 'Cause the gang's all here ♪

Hey, ta.

Give yourself a nice round
of applause, everybody.

Well done.

Goodbye, Dale.

Bye-bye, Norma, my
love. See you next week.

You too, Barbara.

Betty, how lovely to see you.

How's Lillian?

I'm so worried, Dale.
I think she's giving up.

Oh, n...

Bye-bye, darling.

No, she isn't.

Not if I've got
anything to do with it.

- Look, why don't I pop 'round?
- Would you?

- I know you're busy but...
- Never too busy for you.

I'll see you
tomorrow, usual time.

Bye-bye, my love.

He's an angel. He really is.

We're your last
customers, Doris, love.

Get yourself home.
Put your feet up.

Thanks, Dale.

Thank you.

So...

Where were you at
the time of the murder?

Fuengirola.

I've been going there for years.

I need a bit of winter
sunshine come February,

so I book the same
fortnight every year.

I flew out on the
Sunday morning.

- The ninth?
- If you say so.

You know, I very
nearly didn't go.

Deep down, I knew I'd
be flying back to tragedy.

Really?

There'd been rows.

Caroline and Harry'd been
trying to browbeat poor Dorothy.

Going on about the will.

Well, I wasn't having it.

I tried not to leave her
alone to be bullied by them.

They didn't like that.

They employed you
to look after Dorothy.

It wasn't the first time I'd
been treated with aggression.

People use it to
mask their guilt

because I do what they should
be doing but can't be bothered to.

Nobody cares about
the elderly anymore.

That's why I do my bit here.

Well, you're certainly
very well thought of.

I hope so.

I love my singsongs.

And pensioners' lunch club.

And my Wednesday whist drives.

Oh, you should come.

Thank you.

So you do all this voluntarily?

It's a labor of love.

But how do you
cover your expenses?

The solicitors have
been providing me

with a little allowance
for looking after the cats.

Just enough to cover the bills.

But obviously that's stopped.

So things are a little tight.

But something will
turn up. It always does.

Well, look at the time.

And I haven't
even packed up yet.

- Let me give you a hand.
- No need for that.

No, no, no. I insist.

I was spending so much time
humping my equipment around

that they let me have
my own cupboard.

That was kind of them.

Just pop it
there. I'll see to it.

Well, thanks for your help.

Thanks for your time.

And don't forget
Wednesday whist.

You'd be very welcome.

Hello. Can I speak
to Mr. Baker, please?

I will never
understand pet owners.

Oh, come on. You must have
had a pet when you were a kid.

My dad won me a
goldfish at a fair once.

And I waved him goodbye as
my mum flushed him down the loo.

That's terrible.

It's where he would
have ended up eventually.

Mr. and Mrs. Baker
are not at the pet shop.

Apparently we can find them
at the London Cat Extravaganza.

You are joking.

Brilliant. Can I come?

You hate cats.

How many times? Know thy enemy.

Ladies and gentlemen,

may I remind you,

please keep all aisles
clear of travel cages.

You can't come in
here. You're allergic.

It's all right. I've
taken an antihistamine.

Might be a bit sneezy,

but it should prevent a
full respiratory collapse.

That's a comfort.

Don't these people have jobs?

Or lives, for that matter.

- I'll catch up with you later.
- Okay.

Hello, Caroline.

Oh, uh, what do you want?

- Can we have a word?
- Now?

- I-I'm busy.
- Yeah, so are we.

Well, I'm sorry, but
the judges are here.

Look, please, this is Pearl
Beauty Rising Sun's big year.

She's up for best in show.

I just need 10 minutes.

Please.

Okay.

Yeah, we'll get a coffee.

If we can find one
without cat hair in it.

Bless you.

- Can I help?
- I hope so.

I'm looking for
something... for my dog.

It's okay. Not everyone's
anticanine here.

How can I help?

Well, it's a herbal tablet.

It's supposed to help
with discipline problems.

I know what you mean.
Doggy Ritalin. It's great.

It's not licensed in
this country, though.

Never mind. Thanks anyway.

I've got a contact who
might be able to help.

Oh, yeah?

Give me a call tomorrow.

I'll sort you out.

Thanks, Peter.

See you soon.

Well done, Ramses.

You're such a star.

Ah, you won.

Came second.

Oh, dear. I'm sorry, darling.

I really thought we'd
done enough this time.

There's always next year.

Well, if you're over
your little disappointment,

I wonder if we
might have that talk.

Yes. What do you need to know?

We've spoken to Harry.

Now, he says he
was away on business

at the time of
your aunt's death.

Probably. He was always
jetting off somewhere.

The only time we saw each
other was at Aunt Dorothy's.

And then he'd always
be snapping at Dale

or moaning about all the cats.

You see, what I don't
understand, Caroline,

is why it took two
weeks to discover her.

Why didn't you go and visit her?

- We had an argument.
- About the will?

About me. She
resented our relationship.

Why?

Caroline's life used to revolve
around Dorothy and the cats.

- That's the way she liked it.
- Peter.

What did she say
when I proposed?

That you'd break my heart.

She was just... just
trying to protect me.

It wasn't as if I
stole her away.

We were always 'round there.

She just kept sniping at me,

saying I wouldn't
amount to anything.

I lost my patience one day.

I told her I never
wanted to see her again.

But I didn't know that that's
exactly what would happen.

She could be so unreasonable.

But she didn't
deserve to die all alone.

She pushed everybody away.

It's not your fault, sweetheart.

She even sacked Dale.

If Dale really had been
working on getting his feet

under Dorothy's table,

then he wouldn't have
been very pleased

when she gave him the push
just before his holidays, would he?

No. Well, he'd have the motive.
But what about opportunity?

He was catching
a flight, remember?

Is that the best card you had?

Oh, sorry. I wasn't
concentrating.

Thank you very much.

Look, Dale had a key,

so he could have
killed her at any time.

Perhaps on his
way to the airport.

Then all he'd have to work
on for the next two weeks

was his tan and his alibi.

Well, that wouldn't have
been an impulse killing

because he'd been sacked.

Be more your well-organized,
cold-blooded job.

Well, maybe he had
it planned all along.

He'd got her to change the will.

Now all he had to
do was bump her off.

That'd be very hard to prove.

Perhaps.

And thank you very much indeed.

That's another hand
to Brian and myself.

Excuse me. Could someone
tell me why are we playing whist?

It's an old-woman's game.

Which makes it
highly appropriate

from where I'm sitting.

I just wanted to remind
myself of the rules.

It's a good game.
Nice and gentle.

Now, if you'll excuse me.

You asked him yet?

Asked him what?

Who he's leaving it all to?

No!

I don't know.

It could be the widow and
orphans fund for all I care.

He hasn't got any
family, has he?

No. But what if his
circumstances have changed?

How do you mean?

A woman.

Bollocks.

Don't be so bloody stupid.

Now, there's a sight to
gladden a man's heart.

I am not in the mood.

Your dog's been at it again.

He's had everything out of
the kitchen bin, all over the floor.

Oh, Scampi. Why do you do it?

Maybe he smelled the
bacon rind after breakfast.

Well, he must have
been hungry, then.

Hungry? The way you spoil him?

He is going to have to go.

I've seen that woman again.

She's desperate
for a nice family pet.

- It's for his own good.
- Rubbish.

You've had it in for my dog
ever since Gerry gave him to me.

Oh, he's your dog, is he?

He's our dog whenever
his mess needs cleaning up.

Hang on. We didn't
have bacon for breakfast.

We had muesli.

And anyway, you always
throw the rind out for the birds.

Excuse me. You're
not at work now.

You put it there
deliberately, didn't you?

I know a fit-up when I see one.

I'm ashamed of you, Esther.

Well, what am I supposed to do?

He's running us ragged.

When are you going to
realize we're too old for all this?

Don't say that. Don't
you dare say that.

Come on, Scampi.

No.

I daren't leave
him alone with her.

She's a desperate woman.

So will I be if you bring
that bloody dog in here.

If it's not house-trained,

then it's obviously
not office-friendly.

Gerry, hurry up.

I want to talk to
Harry Hepple at home.

Yeah, all right. Where's
Jack this morning?

He's gone to see
someone called Betty.

Has he?

Ooh. I like his style.

Yeah, on the job
while on the job.

I told you there was a woman.

No, she's helping
him with his inquiries.

You're gonna have to stop
obsessing about Jack's will.

It's obviously a
very sensitive issue.

I don't see why.

Well, how about I give you
the third degree about your will?

Ah, my arrangements
are very simple.

Oh, yes? Leaving it
all to a good cause?

Listen, when you got three
ex-wives and a bunch of kids,

you are the good cause.

Come on!

Well, let me drive cause
we're gonna get there

a lot quicker, aren't we?

Not necessarily. Uh, hello?

What are you doing here?

One of your chaps called
me in. I don't know what for.

- Which chap?
- Oh, good. You're here.

Right. In you come, then.

- Brian Lane.
- Brian?

He's helping me
with my inquiries.

What inquiries?

You'll see. I've had an idea.

I hate it when he has ideas.
Makes me very nervous.

- Listen...
- Have a seat.

Listen, I've already
told your boss

everything I could remember
the last time I was here.

Yeah, I know. Sit down.

I want to talk to you about
your specialist subject.

Cats.

Okay.

Now, Dorothy had over 30
cats stuffed into that house.

Do you think they could
have turned violent en masse?

- You mean like a hunting pack?
- That's it.

No, not really.

Let me show you something.

His owner reckons he
was attacked by cats.

No. A cat didn't kill this dog.

So, what did?

Uh, I'm not sure.

Um, judging by the
wounds, I'd say a large dog.

Certainly as big as a Doberman.

But definitely not a
common or garden moggy.

Yes?

Oh, hello. Could we speak
to Harry Hepple, please?

Oh, for God's sakes.

Can you smell that?

- Smell what?
- Money.

Place reeks of it.

Cost you 10 grand just to get
a parking space 'round here.

Now, that is the
real thing, innit?

Prime real estate.

- Now, if you've got any money...
- Oh, Gerry, do stop.

You know how it turns me on

when you talk about
house prices and mortgages.

Almost as much as when
you bang on about football.

I'm not going to
tell you lot again.

Harry Hepple doesn't
live here anymore.

If one more bloody
bailiff comes to this door...

We're not bailiffs.

I'm a Detective Superintendent
Pullman. This is Gerry Standing.

Harry Hepple told
us he lived here.

Told you? The man
that ruined my life?

Thanks to him, this
address is a credit black spot.

10 years I've been here,

and I still get a
couple of calls a week

from people looking for him.

But if you know how
to get hold of him...

Well, we couldn't give
you that information.

Data Protection Act.

Thanks for nothing!

Hi. Could you tell us where
we could find Harry Hepple's...

Governor.

Thank you.

What can I get you?

A latte and an
explanation, please.

I was let go from the bank
at the beginning of '95.

What for?

I'd had a pretty meteoric rise.

But the higher you get, the
harder it is to keep excelling.

The hours get longer,
pressure gets higher,

targets unobtainable.

I burned out.

Everything started to slip.

When I got called in to see the
boss, I-I knew what was coming.

Why didn't you tell anyone?

Because I still thought I
could stage a comeback.

Even when my phone
was being cut off,

my house was being repossessed.

It wasn't until I came home to
find the locks had been changed.

That's what pushed
me over the edge.

You had a nervous breakdown?

Where were you when you were
supposed to be in Singapore?

Milford Grange psychiatric
hospital under heavy sedation.

Which means I could
barely get out of bed,

let alone murder my aunt.

Why didn't you
tell us this before?

I was too ashamed.

So ashamed that you'd rather
be thought of as a suspect

than let anyone know?

You don't understand.

If you work in finance, you
see plenty of people go under.

You just never think
it's going to be you,

that you could be so weak.

You weren't weak. You were ill.

The only weak thing you
did was not talk to your family.

You should tell them
what you've been through.

Especially Caroline.

It's lovely to have a visitor.
We don't get many these days.

Lillian, this is Mr. Halford.

He's friends with Dale.

He wants to ask some questions.

That's probably as much
as we'll get from her today.

- Sit down.
- Thank you.

You know, Betty, you
didn't ask me for my I.D.

I recognized you.

And the front
door wasn't locked.

If anyone tries to
bother me and Lil,

they'll get a taste of this.

So how long have
you ladies known Dale?

Ages.

Everyone knows Dale.

How long has he
been coming here?

I suppose since
Lil had her stroke.

He's been a rock. He really has.

And won't take anything
for his trouble either.

- You offered him money?
- Of course I did.

Even if it was to
pay for his petrol

when he's been
running me around.

Wouldn't take a penny.

And threatened to fall out
with me if I offered again.

But I've got a plan.

Oh? Really?

Mm.

That'll be him now.

Only me!

Look at this.

A party.

Now, I've just been
telling your friend

that you are a
naughty boy, Dale.

Really?

I've been telling him
how I keep offering money

and you keep insulting
me by turning it down.

And as I've told you
before, it's me that's insulted.

Well, I've decided something.

I want you to take
the breakfast set.

Breakfast set?

Dale admired it the
first day he came.

His old mum used
to have one just like it.

It brought back lovely
memories seeing it.

But I really can't accept it.

Of course you can.

Can't he, Lillian?

Well, if you absolutely insist.

Come on. Let's get a box.

Keep a lookout.

Very nice.

Bloody hell.

Well, what am I
supposed to do with it?

- Sorry, mate. Sorry.
- Thanks a bunch, mate.

Hi, there. Everything all right?

Not really.

What were you after?
Oh, t-that's right... tablets.

So do you often do
business around here?

I've got the shop,

but there's certain items
I don't like to keep there.

There you go.

Yeah. Ta.

Oh, hang on. The
instructions are...

In Spanish.

That's okay. I
got a translation.

Just give one to your dog
every night after his tea.

Smashing.

So, what do I owe you?

50 quid.

- How much?
- Well, they are imported.

50 quid.

There we go. 50 quid.

So, uh...

If I want anything else,
you'd be the bloke to see, eh?

You've got my number.

What's in the box?

- Nothing.
- Hey?

Do you have other
animal interests?

Mm. Depends.

Have a look at this.

- Ohh.
- Beautiful, isn't it?

- Oh, it's lovely.
- It's going begging.

It was for that bloke,
but he changed his mind

when he realized it
needed a bit of looking after.

No.

That wouldn't be a
problem for you, would it?

You go the extra
mile for your pets.

So, what do you think?

Go on. I'll take it.

Excellent!

That'll be 200 quid, please.

- What?!
- 150.

I thought I was
doing you a favor.

How much have you got?

- 80.
- Done.

Lost something?

Don't you need a
search warrant to do this?

That or permission from
the owner of the building.

And as you don't own
the community center...

Look, I'm not a
thief. These are gifts.

You've seen it with your
own eyes, Mr. Halford.

All I've seen is a
thieving little toe-rag

who worms his way
into old ladies' lives

so that he can help himself
to anything he fancies.

Do you know how much
this breakfast set is worth?

I've no idea.

Of course you have!
Don't give me that!

It's Clarice Cliff
from the '20s.

Complete set, good condition.
Betty must have looked after it.

How much?

In auction, I'd be looking for

at least three
grand, maybe four.

Think what Betty and Lillian
could have done with that.

Well, if they're
stupid enough...

- You bastard.
- Oh, save it.

You can't arrest me. I
haven't broken the law.

My ladies handed
over their stuff

with smiles on their faces.

Dorothy was different, though.
She was the big one, wasn't she?

She must have been.

You spent months making
yourself indispensable,

maneuvering Caroline
and Harry out of the picture,

creating friction
amongst them all.

That wasn't difficult.

So you put all that work in,

and then just at the crucial
moment, Dorothy sacked you.

That must have made you crazy.

She didn't even write
me one of her little notes.

Instead, she sent
'round toady little Peter

to do her dirty work.

Peter Baker?

He told me my services
were no longer needed

and refused to say why.

So I thought, "Sod it.

I'll drown my sorrows in
Spanish brandy and suntan lotion."

And you didn't stop on the
way and have it out with her?

I was going to sort it
out when I got back.

Go 'round with a straw
donkey and an apology.

- That would have been enough?
- It always had been before.

You've seen me work.

And it is bloody hard work.

Listening to the old dears

banging on about
rationing and mangles.

Handing out the hankies

when they get all sniffly
about their dear departed.

It'd be easier to smack
them over the head,

but that's just not what I do!

Now, if that's it...

I've got a Whist drive to run.

I don't think you have.

You know, if it had been
children he'd deceived...

Yeah, we'd be putting him
on some kind of register.

Nothing else we
can do, though, Jack.

We can try and
return the collection

to its rightful owners.

Don't make me talk to you
about resources and manpower.

You know how it pisses you off.

Okay. I'll do it.

- Good night, Jack.
- Night-night, Jack.

Night.

No wonder Dorothy
preferred cats to people.

She was surrounded by liars.

Dale, Harry.

Yeah, but neither of
them were murderers.

Yeah, well, we're
not finished yet.

There's still
Caroline and Peter.

We'll get there.

And then you'll have
to find another excuse.

For what?

Come on, Jack. For
not signing your will.

Why are you putting it off?

Well, I'm certainly not
planning to leave it all

to my new girlfriend.

Oh, you heard.

Anyway, it's none
of our business.

When Mary died,

there seemed to be nothing
to do except paperwork.

I had to take her
name off everything.

Joint accounts, bills, deeds.
And, oh, it just went on.

And now the only thing left
with her name on is my will.

When I sign the new one,

I'll sign her away.

Come on. Buy me a drink.

Listen to this.

Tim Cuswell's incident
log from the eighth.

"10:14... Peter Baker
arrives and parks in the street,

blocking access to my drive.

10:32 p.m...

Peter Baker departs after
excessive engine revving."

So, what's Peter Baker up to?

Everyone needs a hobby.

Mine is smoking.

- Just popping out, governor.
- Your funeral.

Brian!

What's that?

Phelsuma
madagascariensis grandis.

A giant Madagascar day gecko.

She's called Boudicca.

And should it be here?

Well, no.

As the name suggests, she
should be in the humid environs

of the Madagascan jungle.

Then what's it doing on my desk?

Well, she needs
constant temperature.

And our office
is full of drafts.

How does it feel about water?

I mean, can it swim?

- You know, I've no idea.
- Why don't we find out?

I'm just about to
go to the ladies.

You can't do
that. It's evidence.

Well, then maybe
we should bag her up!

Oh, look, you've frightened it.

Boudie. Good girl.

Is that you, Brian?

Yes, it is, love. But
I'm not stopping.

Now, listen, this
is just temporary.

I'm putting dinner on
the table in a minute.

Well, I won't be long.

Listen, can you give Scampi
one of these with his tea?

I'll see you.

Bri...

Oi, what have I done now?

It's your dog.

Those pills. He
tried to bite me!

I'll be on the sofa
if you need me.

He said he'd cracked the case

and could we meet him
here with an open mind.

An open mind? Now
I'm really worried.

- Morning.
- Morning!

Glad you could make it.

Yes, look, can we just get on?

So...

We've ruled out Harry
and Dale as suspects.

Leaving Cuswell,
Peter, and Caroline.

We know that.
Just get to the point.

Right.

Now, as we know, the
day after Dorothy died,

Cuswell's dog
Boycott was attacked.

- By the cats.
- No, actually.

By a large unidentified
mammal and our new suspect.

- He's gone again.
- Obviously.

Now, the day
before Dorothy died,

Mr. Cuswell logged
three separate visits

from Peter Baker... on his own.

I thought Dorothy loathed Peter.

Why would he come
here on his own?

Well, not just for a
visit, that's for sure.

On each separate occasion

he was seen to unload
certain items into this shed.

Come and have a
look. Come on, come on.

Here. This soundproofed
and fortified shed.

- Bless you.
- Thank you.

Now, look at this
wall and this door.

Good lord.

Peter Baker's always
bragging about his contacts

and how he can get
hold of anything petwise.

So how about a big cat?
Say, a lynx or an ocelot.

- You're joking.
- I've never been more serious.

Exotic animals are
big money, you know?

I think Peter went for
the... The big payday

and realized he'd bitten
off more than he could chew.

'Cause the cat escaped...

Fshwt!

And took a lump out
of Boycott as he went.

Yeah, but how did
Dorothy end up dead?

I'm not sure.

Well, maybe she
threatened to call the police,

and he had to shut her up.

Permanently.

Then, to cover his tracks,
he told Dale he'd been fired

and locked Dorothy
inside with the moggies.

What do you think?

I think the CPS

will laugh me out of a
job if I bring this to them.

But it's all perfectly logical.

Physical evidence, Brian.

Not a problem. Come on.

Good.

I knew it would come in handy.

Why does it have to be my desk?

Well, put some newspaper down.

How long was he
collecting these for?

Years. Look at the labels.

Wait!

We're only interested in
the ones from February '96.

Oh, well, that's
something, I suppose.

Are you sure you
can tell the difference?

When you've stepped in
as many of these as I have,

yeah, you know.

Right. Here we go.

Yeah, that's a cat.

Domestic cat.

Now, here's a cat that needed
more roughage in its diet.

Cat.

Hello.

Well, that's
neither cat nor fox.

And I'm pretty
certain it's not a dog.

I'd have to send it to the lab
to be more specific than that.

But, uh, I think we've
got a winner here.

Peter Baker, I'm arresting
you under suspicion of...

Peter! Peter! What's going on?!

What's happening?!

- It's locked.
- What are you doing?

Come on, Peter, you're
not doing yourself any favors.

What's he doing?

Okay.

Stay with us.

Peter Baker!

I'm arresting you
under suspicion

of the murder of Dorothy Hepple.

You do not have to say anything,
but it may harm your defense

if you do not mention
when questioned

something you
later rely on in court.

Anything you do say
may be taken in evidence.

Peter?

I'm sorry, Caroline.

I didn't realize how
strong it would be.

Or the noise it would make.

I'd only ever brought
in small animals.

When it woke up in
the shed, it went mental,

throwing itself
against the walls.

Is that when Dorothy came out?

I was trying to hold the door
shut when she surprised me.

Next thing, it was out.

It knocked her to the ground.

She was screaming at me.
Someone was gonna hear.

You only had to cough and
Cuswell was around, complaining.

I put my hands over her mouth,
and eventually she went quiet.

Yeah, 'cause she was dead.

It was an accident.

No, no, it ceased
to be an accident

the moment you decided
to cover your tracks

by dragging Dorothy into
the house, leaving the cats...

No, that was my idea.

Don't listen to
her. It was my fault.

But that's not true.

It was me that
got the cats inside

and shut the kitchen window.

It was me that locked the
door and drew the curtains.

I didn't want to be alone again.

And if Peter had admitted
that that's what he'd done,

they'd have taken
him away from me.

We didn't do it for the
house or for the money.

We did it so we
could stay together.

That was Liam.

The lab confirmed that the
scat sample was from a big cat.

He sounded quite excited.

Of course.

They've been trying
to prove the existence

of the U.K. big cat for years.

We've just given
them the evidence.

No, you did.

That was an amazing bit
of detective work, Brian.

Well done.

Oh, any of you could
have put it together.

No!

We're sane.

So who do you reckon's gonna
get the Hepple fortune now?

None of them, hopefully.
They're all liars and cheats.

Oh, just a normal family, then.

Right. Who's ready for a drink?

Oh, you better count me out.

I've got another appointment
with Jonathan Blunt.

Are you going to sign?

Yeah, I think so.

What, do you want a
witness to make sure you do?

No, thank you.

Anyway, beneficiaries
can't be witnesses.

You're not supposed
to be up there.

Brian!

Brian!

Esther! W-What are you doing?

I lifted the towel
and there was...

Oh, no!

Don't panic.

- Is it poisonous?
- I don't know.

Get rid of it!

It's probably just
somebody's pet.

I don't care what it
is! Just get rid of it!

Get rid of it! Get
rid of it! Get...

Scampi! Here!

And as for you...

Murderer.

♪ It's all right, it's okay ♪

♪ Doesn't really matter
if you're old and gray ♪

♪ It's all right, I
say it's okay ♪

♪ Listen to what I say ♪

♪ It's all right, doing fine ♪

♪ Doesn't really matter
if the sun don't shine ♪

♪ It's all right, I
say it's okay ♪

♪ We're getting to
the end of the day ♪

♪ High tech, low
tech, take your pick ♪

♪ 'Cause you can't teach
an old dog a brand-new trick ♪

♪ I don't care what
anybody says ♪

♪ At the end of the day ♪

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