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1
00:00:11,228 --> 00:00:13,862
Starring Andy Griffith...
2
00:00:13,897 --> 00:00:16,365
with Ronny Howard.
3
00:00:16,400 --> 00:00:19,434
Also starring Don Knotts.
4
00:00:38,589 --> 00:00:39,854
Hey, Andy!
5
00:00:39,890 --> 00:00:41,105
Barney!
6
00:00:41,141 --> 00:00:43,141
I'm here!
7
00:00:44,211 --> 00:00:45,689
Who in the world's that?
8
00:00:45,713 --> 00:00:46,678
I don't know.
9
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You don't suppose
10
00:00:47,715 --> 00:00:49,447
that could be Big Jeff Pruitt?
11
00:00:51,285 --> 00:00:52,300
Hiya, fellas.
12
00:00:52,336 --> 00:00:54,180
Well, Jeff, how in
the world are ya?
13
00:00:55,589 --> 00:00:56,621
How's the fishin'?
14
00:00:56,657 --> 00:00:57,622
Oh, fine.
15
00:00:57,658 --> 00:00:59,624
Hello, there, little buddy.
16
00:00:59,660 --> 00:01:00,625
Hey, hey, hey!
17
00:01:00,661 --> 00:01:01,894
Hey, now, put me down.
18
00:01:01,929 --> 00:01:03,461
Glad to see ya, Barney.
19
00:01:03,497 --> 00:01:05,408
What in the world
brings you to town, Jeff?
20
00:01:05,432 --> 00:01:06,643
You buyin' or sellin'?
21
00:01:06,667 --> 00:01:08,544
Well I ain't buyin'
or sellin'... I'm lookin'.
22
00:01:08,568 --> 00:01:09,534
Yeah? Lookin' for what?
23
00:01:09,569 --> 00:01:11,397
A bride. A bride?
24
00:01:11,421 --> 00:01:13,188
You mean like a wife to marry?
25
00:01:13,223 --> 00:01:15,435
That's the kind. Well,
that's good news, Jeff,
26
00:01:15,459 --> 00:01:17,370
but what are ya
lookin' here in town for?
27
00:01:17,394 --> 00:01:19,940
I mean, if you're fixin' to
marry, what about Bertha?
28
00:01:19,964 --> 00:01:20,929
Bertha?
29
00:01:20,965 --> 00:01:22,142
Well, what are ya lookin'
30
00:01:22,166 --> 00:01:23,131
so surprised for?
31
00:01:23,167 --> 00:01:24,177
She's lived on the farm
32
00:01:24,201 --> 00:01:25,578
next to yours all her life,
33
00:01:25,602 --> 00:01:26,980
ad everybody figgered,
if you got married,
34
00:01:27,004 --> 00:01:27,970
why, you'd marry her.
35
00:01:28,005 --> 00:01:29,238
Well, sure, I like Bertha.
36
00:01:29,273 --> 00:01:31,218
I mean, she's real good company,
and good competition, too.
37
00:01:31,242 --> 00:01:32,674
Always gives me
a run for my money
38
00:01:32,709 --> 00:01:34,176
every time we're
milking the cows
39
00:01:34,211 --> 00:01:35,177
and calling the hogs...
40
00:01:35,212 --> 00:01:36,611
And doggone if I don't have
41
00:01:36,646 --> 00:01:38,981
to take a backseat every
time we pick tobacca,
42
00:01:39,016 --> 00:01:40,515
but I don't wanna marry her.
43
00:01:40,550 --> 00:01:42,395
No, for marryin',
a fella wants a...
44
00:01:42,419 --> 00:01:43,718
a female type.
45
00:01:43,754 --> 00:01:44,931
You know, kinda
soft and squishy-like.
46
00:01:44,955 --> 00:01:46,221
I figger the right place
47
00:01:46,257 --> 00:01:48,390
to find one of 'em's
right here in town.
48
00:01:48,425 --> 00:01:49,635
Well, there ought to be a few
49
00:01:49,659 --> 00:01:51,404
answerin' that
description around here.
50
00:01:51,428 --> 00:01:53,795
Sure. I only need one.
51
00:01:53,830 --> 00:01:55,630
I figure I'll stick around
town a couple days,
52
00:01:55,665 --> 00:01:57,132
look over the available stock,
53
00:01:57,167 --> 00:01:59,167
and pick one out and
take her back to the farm.
54
00:01:59,203 --> 00:02:00,813
Whoa, now. Wait a minute, Jeff.
55
00:02:00,837 --> 00:02:01,982
Now, hold the phone.
56
00:02:02,006 --> 00:02:04,284
You can't pick out a
wife in just two days.
57
00:02:04,308 --> 00:02:05,308
Why not?
58
00:02:05,342 --> 00:02:07,120
How ya know
you're gonna find one
59
00:02:07,144 --> 00:02:09,022
that wants to
marry ya that quick?
60
00:02:09,046 --> 00:02:10,345
I'm good-lookin', ain't I?
61
00:02:10,381 --> 00:02:11,346
Well, yeah.
62
00:02:11,382 --> 00:02:12,347
I'm strong enough
63
00:02:12,383 --> 00:02:13,393
to protect a woman, ain't I?
64
00:02:13,417 --> 00:02:14,527
Well, sure.
65
00:02:14,551 --> 00:02:16,618
Got one of the best
farms in the county, ain't I?
66
00:02:16,653 --> 00:02:17,764
Well, yeah.
67
00:02:17,788 --> 00:02:19,587
Well, then shouldn't
take more than two days.
68
00:02:21,392 --> 00:02:22,857
Say, listen, you want us
69
00:02:22,893 --> 00:02:24,859
to help you find a bride, Jeff?
70
00:02:24,895 --> 00:02:26,406
Oh, well, now, Barney,
71
00:02:26,430 --> 00:02:28,808
I don't know that
we're exactly geared
72
00:02:28,832 --> 00:02:30,210
for that line of work.
73
00:02:30,234 --> 00:02:32,700
While we're out trackin'
down desperate criminals,
74
00:02:32,736 --> 00:02:34,869
we might as well
just keep an eye open
75
00:02:34,905 --> 00:02:36,204
for a woman for Jeff.
76
00:02:36,240 --> 00:02:38,056
Yeah, I guess we could.
77
00:02:38,091 --> 00:02:40,236
Next time we go
out on a manhunt,
78
00:02:40,260 --> 00:02:42,660
we'll make it a womanhunt, too.
79
00:02:44,481 --> 00:02:45,680
That's a good'n, Andy.
80
00:02:45,716 --> 00:02:48,183
How 'bout that, little buddy?
81
00:02:48,218 --> 00:02:49,418
Ain't that a good one?
82
00:02:51,922 --> 00:02:54,723
I sure do appreciate you
boys wantin' to help me out.
83
00:02:54,758 --> 00:02:57,537
Oh, well... Meanwhile,
I figure I'll go out
84
00:02:57,561 --> 00:02:59,506
and do a little scoutin'
on my own. Okay.
85
00:02:59,530 --> 00:03:00,796
Andy, good to see ya.
86
00:03:00,831 --> 00:03:02,280
So long there, little...
87
00:03:04,184 --> 00:03:06,684
I don't wanna miss
seein' a single one of 'em.
88
00:03:06,720 --> 00:03:09,321
After all, I figure that
every girl in Mayberry
89
00:03:09,356 --> 00:03:10,389
deserves a chance.
90
00:03:13,877 --> 00:03:17,212
Trouble with Jeff, he
never got over his shyness.
91
00:03:24,154 --> 00:03:25,137
Hi, Paw.
92
00:03:25,172 --> 00:03:26,420
Well, hi, Ope.
93
00:03:26,456 --> 00:03:27,706
Guess who I just saw.
94
00:03:27,741 --> 00:03:28,707
Who?
95
00:03:28,742 --> 00:03:29,742
Jeff Pruitt.
96
00:03:29,777 --> 00:03:31,955
Yeah, he come in
town this mornin'.
97
00:03:31,979 --> 00:03:33,578
Guess what I saw him doin'?
98
00:03:33,613 --> 00:03:34,762
What?
99
00:03:34,798 --> 00:03:37,248
Standin' on the
corner pickin' up girls.
100
00:03:39,085 --> 00:03:41,420
What do you know
about pickin' up girls?
101
00:03:41,455 --> 00:03:43,688
Gosh, Paw, what's there to know?
102
00:03:43,724 --> 00:03:45,424
Whenever a girl walks by,
103
00:03:45,459 --> 00:03:48,527
he just picks her up,
and then sets her down,
104
00:03:48,562 --> 00:03:50,729
and says, "'Scuse me, ma'am.
105
00:03:50,764 --> 00:03:52,497
Just checkin' your weight."
106
00:03:53,533 --> 00:03:54,833
For heaven sakes.
107
00:03:54,868 --> 00:03:56,879
Opie, you better run along.
108
00:03:56,903 --> 00:03:59,004
I got business to attend to.
109
00:04:01,274 --> 00:04:06,477
Imagine... caring how
much a girl weighs.
110
00:04:13,721 --> 00:04:16,121
Oh, my goodness! Put me down!
111
00:04:18,558 --> 00:04:19,524
Jeff, quit that.
112
00:04:19,559 --> 00:04:20,525
Quit what?
113
00:04:20,560 --> 00:04:21,693
I'm just lookin'.
114
00:04:21,729 --> 00:04:23,974
Well, you can't do it.
115
00:04:23,998 --> 00:04:26,692
Put her down, put her
down, put her down.
116
00:04:26,716 --> 00:04:28,183
Uh... excuse us, April.
117
00:04:28,218 --> 00:04:29,350
Excuse us.
118
00:04:29,386 --> 00:04:30,851
Jeff, you can't do that.
119
00:04:30,887 --> 00:04:33,032
You can't be pickin'
them girls up off their feet
120
00:04:33,056 --> 00:04:34,534
right on the main street.
121
00:04:34,558 --> 00:04:36,269
It ain't a marketplace for
brides, for heaven sakes.
122
00:04:36,293 --> 00:04:37,470
That's what I came to town for.
123
00:04:37,494 --> 00:04:39,694
How can I find a bride
if I ain't out lookin'?
124
00:04:39,729 --> 00:04:41,174
Well, you can't do it that way.
125
00:04:41,198 --> 00:04:42,375
Come on over at the house.
126
00:04:42,399 --> 00:04:43,742
We'll have a mouthful to eat,
127
00:04:43,766 --> 00:04:44,977
and maybe Aunt Bee'll have
128
00:04:45,001 --> 00:04:46,329
some thoughts on the matter.
129
00:04:46,353 --> 00:04:47,636
I kind of hate to leave my post.
130
00:04:47,671 --> 00:04:49,871
A good'n might come
along while I'm gone.
131
00:04:49,907 --> 00:04:51,540
Jeff! Come on.
132
00:04:54,912 --> 00:04:57,712
Mmm! Aunt Bee, that
sure was good eatin'.
133
00:04:57,748 --> 00:04:58,991
Well, thank you, Jeff.
134
00:04:59,015 --> 00:05:00,427
I'm glad you enjoyed it.
135
00:05:00,451 --> 00:05:02,729
I'm sorry we only
had one leg of lamb.
136
00:05:02,753 --> 00:05:04,597
Oh, now, don't
you worry 'bout that.
137
00:05:04,621 --> 00:05:06,721
Sometimes I take
on a little light dinner
138
00:05:06,757 --> 00:05:09,057
and, later on, I really
pack it in for supper.
139
00:05:09,092 --> 00:05:12,188
Yeah, this little gal
I'm fixin' to marry's
140
00:05:12,212 --> 00:05:13,728
gonna have to be a good cook.
141
00:05:15,131 --> 00:05:16,331
Say, Aunt Bee...
142
00:05:16,366 --> 00:05:19,334
you got any possibles
for me to look over?
143
00:05:19,369 --> 00:05:20,968
Several. But, Jeff,
144
00:05:21,004 --> 00:05:23,772
you don't pick
up a wife like that.
145
00:05:23,807 --> 00:05:25,206
You study over her,
146
00:05:25,241 --> 00:05:27,186
and she studies over you.
147
00:05:27,210 --> 00:05:30,262
Some folks take as
long as a year to decide.
148
00:05:30,297 --> 00:05:32,030
A whole year?
149
00:05:32,065 --> 00:05:33,414
That long?
150
00:05:33,449 --> 00:05:34,977
Aw, but, Aunt
Bee, that doesn't...
151
00:05:35,001 --> 00:05:36,535
Have I got it. Have I got it!
152
00:05:36,570 --> 00:05:37,536
Got what, Barn?
153
00:05:37,571 --> 00:05:39,187
Have I got the answer for you.
154
00:05:39,222 --> 00:05:40,300
You found me a bride.
155
00:05:40,324 --> 00:05:41,556
A whole houseful of 'em.
156
00:05:41,591 --> 00:05:42,791
You can have your pick.
157
00:05:42,826 --> 00:05:44,426
What's this, Barney?
158
00:05:44,461 --> 00:05:46,328
Well, Thelma Lou...
She's havin' a hen party
159
00:05:46,363 --> 00:05:47,462
over at her house tonight,
160
00:05:47,497 --> 00:05:49,531
and what would be a
better time for Jeff to see
161
00:05:49,566 --> 00:05:51,533
everythin' Mayberry
had to offer all at once?
162
00:05:51,568 --> 00:05:52,534
Tonight?
163
00:05:52,569 --> 00:05:53,735
Yeah. There's gonna be
164
00:05:53,770 --> 00:05:55,903
a whole mess o' pretty
girls over there tonight, Jeff.
165
00:05:55,939 --> 00:05:57,472
You'll have yourself a time.
166
00:05:57,507 --> 00:05:58,523
Uh, uh... Barney?
167
00:05:58,558 --> 00:06:00,608
If this is strictly
a female party,
168
00:06:00,644 --> 00:06:03,010
how you figger on
gettin' Jeff invited?
169
00:06:03,046 --> 00:06:05,764
I-I mean, you can't
just go barrelin' in.
170
00:06:05,799 --> 00:06:08,767
Well, you see, Thelma Lou and
I already have that worked out.
171
00:06:08,802 --> 00:06:10,613
We're just gonna
kinda casually drop by
172
00:06:10,637 --> 00:06:12,337
and then, well,
once we're inside...
173
00:06:12,372 --> 00:06:13,817
I can look over the whole crop
174
00:06:13,841 --> 00:06:15,085
and pick out the best one.
175
00:06:15,109 --> 00:06:16,157
That's the idea.
176
00:06:16,193 --> 00:06:18,826
Oh, Barney, you're
a real little buddy!
177
00:06:18,861 --> 00:06:21,196
Put me down! Put me down!
178
00:06:33,876 --> 00:06:36,511
Listen to 'em gigglin' in there.
179
00:06:36,546 --> 00:06:38,012
You two stay here.
180
00:06:38,047 --> 00:06:40,181
I'll go around back and
contact Thelma Lou,
181
00:06:40,217 --> 00:06:42,217
and see if they're ready for us.
182
00:06:52,895 --> 00:06:54,862
Is everything all right, honey?
183
00:06:54,897 --> 00:06:56,893
I dropped a few hints
that Jeff Pruitt's in town,
184
00:06:56,917 --> 00:06:58,394
and he's lookin' for a bride.
185
00:06:58,418 --> 00:06:59,896
Barney, I don't know
whether we ought to do this.
186
00:06:59,920 --> 00:07:01,553
Oh, no, no, no!
It'll be fine, now.
187
00:07:01,588 --> 00:07:04,656
It's kind of fun, you know,
controlling destiny like this.
188
00:07:04,691 --> 00:07:05,835
I don't know.
189
00:07:05,859 --> 00:07:07,125
Will ya leave it to me?
190
00:07:07,161 --> 00:07:10,495
Now, I'll go get them, and
we'll make our surprise entrance.
191
00:07:10,530 --> 00:07:12,530
You sure are sweet to help out.
192
00:07:18,372 --> 00:07:19,837
It's all set, fellas.
193
00:07:19,873 --> 00:07:23,208
Now, remember, act surprised
to see a roomful of girls.
194
00:07:31,685 --> 00:07:33,834
I'll get it, Thelma Lou.
195
00:07:33,870 --> 00:07:35,370
Thanks, Mary.
196
00:07:36,373 --> 00:07:38,306
Oh, hi, Mary.
197
00:07:38,341 --> 00:07:40,174
Oh, excuse us.
198
00:07:40,209 --> 00:07:41,987
We didn't know Thelma
Lou had company.
199
00:07:42,011 --> 00:07:43,656
We was just
stoppin' by. This here
200
00:07:43,680 --> 00:07:44,779
is Jeff Pruitt.
201
00:07:44,814 --> 00:07:46,297
Hello, Mr. Pruitt.
202
00:07:46,332 --> 00:07:49,150
How do? I hope we're
not intrudin' or anything.
203
00:07:49,185 --> 00:07:52,220
Well, no, you're
not intrudin' at all.
204
00:07:52,255 --> 00:07:54,538
Oh, well, good.
205
00:07:54,574 --> 00:07:56,540
How are you, Mary?
206
00:08:00,413 --> 00:08:03,314
We didn't know Thelma
Lou had company.
207
00:08:03,350 --> 00:08:04,815
We was just stoppin' by.
208
00:08:04,851 --> 00:08:06,317
This here is Jeff Pruitt.
209
00:08:07,854 --> 00:08:09,320
Hi, girls.
210
00:08:09,356 --> 00:08:11,167
Nice to know ya, Jeff.
211
00:08:11,191 --> 00:08:14,658
Hello. Nice to see you.
212
00:08:14,694 --> 00:08:16,995
By golly, I...
213
00:08:17,030 --> 00:08:19,730
I never saw so
many pretty girls.
214
00:08:19,766 --> 00:08:23,134
Did I fix it up or
did I fix it up, huh?
215
00:08:23,170 --> 00:08:24,647
Wonder which one he'll pick.
216
00:08:24,671 --> 00:08:25,636
I don't know.
217
00:08:25,672 --> 00:08:26,771
It's hard to tell.
218
00:08:26,806 --> 00:08:28,874
He's like a fella in
a fancy restaurant.
219
00:08:28,909 --> 00:08:30,342
He wants to order somethin',
220
00:08:30,377 --> 00:08:32,110
but there's too
much on the menu.
221
00:08:34,548 --> 00:08:35,774
Hi, Barney, Andy.
222
00:08:35,798 --> 00:08:37,298
Oh, hey, Thelma Lou.
223
00:08:37,334 --> 00:08:38,766
Here we are, girls.
224
00:08:38,801 --> 00:08:39,767
Oh, pardon me.
225
00:08:39,802 --> 00:08:40,768
Need any help?
226
00:08:40,803 --> 00:08:41,769
Oh, no, thanks.
227
00:08:41,804 --> 00:08:42,937
I'll get some coffee.
228
00:08:42,972 --> 00:08:43,938
Evening, Jeff.
229
00:08:43,973 --> 00:08:44,973
Evenin'.
230
00:08:48,811 --> 00:08:49,811
How are you?
231
00:08:52,482 --> 00:08:53,648
Hi, girls.
232
00:08:55,152 --> 00:08:57,485
Nice party, isn't it?
233
00:09:03,660 --> 00:09:05,360
Well, what do you think, Jeff?
234
00:09:05,395 --> 00:09:07,795
Lotta spirited females
in Mayberry, huh?
235
00:09:07,830 --> 00:09:08,830
Yeah.
236
00:09:14,170 --> 00:09:15,669
What's the matter, Jeff?
237
00:09:15,705 --> 00:09:17,483
Did ya spot a winner already?
238
00:09:17,507 --> 00:09:20,174
I sure enough believe
I have, little buddy.
239
00:09:21,277 --> 00:09:23,077
Which one?
240
00:09:23,113 --> 00:09:25,313
That one right over there.
241
00:09:26,633 --> 00:09:29,601
Uh... are you sure?
242
00:09:29,636 --> 00:09:32,604
Oh, I'm sure. You bet.
243
00:09:32,639 --> 00:09:34,839
Well, if that's
the one you want,
244
00:09:34,874 --> 00:09:38,359
I'm sure she's a real fine girl.
245
00:09:40,597 --> 00:09:42,664
Are you sure that's the one?
246
00:09:42,699 --> 00:09:43,665
Yeah, I'm sure.
247
00:09:43,700 --> 00:09:45,132
Well, all right, then.
248
00:09:45,168 --> 00:09:47,301
Let's, uh... let's
go and meet her.
249
00:09:49,889 --> 00:09:51,022
Oh, uh, hello.
250
00:09:51,058 --> 00:09:53,024
Uh, uh, you wanna
meet her, don't you?
251
00:09:53,060 --> 00:09:54,025
Oh, sure, I do.
252
00:09:54,061 --> 00:09:56,394
Well, come on... Uh...
253
00:10:04,320 --> 00:10:06,020
Mmm... mmm... no.
254
00:10:06,056 --> 00:10:08,789
Jeff, she's... I
mean, she and I...
255
00:10:08,824 --> 00:10:10,724
Andy! Andy!
256
00:10:10,760 --> 00:10:11,992
Jeff!
257
00:10:12,028 --> 00:10:14,429
Mm-mm, Jeff,
mm-mm, yeah, not that...
258
00:10:14,464 --> 00:10:17,031
Andy, uh, Jeff...
you see, Jeff, she...
259
00:10:17,067 --> 00:10:19,567
Jeff, she... Jeff...
260
00:10:26,827 --> 00:10:28,376
Of all the insane notions!
261
00:10:28,412 --> 00:10:29,977
Of all the insane notions!
262
00:10:30,013 --> 00:10:31,646
Us findin' a bride for him.
263
00:10:31,681 --> 00:10:34,482
Just show me somewhere
in the Sheriff's Manual
264
00:10:34,518 --> 00:10:37,051
where it says we're
supposed to run around
265
00:10:37,086 --> 00:10:38,686
finding brides for people!
266
00:10:38,722 --> 00:10:40,221
Go on! Show me! Show me!
267
00:10:40,256 --> 00:10:43,991
Barney... I'm
disappointed in you, Andy.
268
00:10:44,027 --> 00:10:46,561
I am really disappoint...
I can't remember
269
00:10:46,596 --> 00:10:48,596
when I have been this
disappointed in you.
270
00:10:48,632 --> 00:10:50,410
What are you
disappointed in me for?
271
00:10:50,434 --> 00:10:52,349
Well, why didn't you stop me?
272
00:10:52,385 --> 00:10:54,535
Well, I couldn't stop you.
273
00:10:54,571 --> 00:10:56,236
That's right. That's right.
274
00:10:56,272 --> 00:10:57,304
Pass the buck.
275
00:10:57,340 --> 00:10:59,340
Barney, I'm not
passing the buck.
276
00:10:59,375 --> 00:11:01,576
I'm just reminding
you of the facts.
277
00:11:01,611 --> 00:11:03,890
The facts are Jeff come to town,
said he was looking for a bride,
278
00:11:03,914 --> 00:11:05,057
you said you'd help him,
279
00:11:05,081 --> 00:11:06,158
and the way you helped,
280
00:11:06,182 --> 00:11:07,827
you took him over
to Thelma Lou's
281
00:11:07,851 --> 00:11:10,251
and that's how it all happened.
282
00:11:10,286 --> 00:11:12,604
Oh, why hash over
ancient history?
283
00:11:12,639 --> 00:11:14,038
It's all in the past.
284
00:11:14,073 --> 00:11:16,641
The thing now is
what to do about it.
285
00:11:16,676 --> 00:11:18,721
Well, I guess that's sensible.
286
00:11:18,745 --> 00:11:20,506
I guess that is sensible.
287
00:11:20,530 --> 00:11:23,631
And I guess the first thing
to do is to go and talk to Jeff
288
00:11:23,666 --> 00:11:26,000
and see if you can
straighten him out.
289
00:11:26,035 --> 00:11:29,103
Yeah, that's the first
thing you've said today
290
00:11:29,139 --> 00:11:30,571
that made any sense.
291
00:11:30,607 --> 00:11:31,905
I'll go talk to...
292
00:11:31,941 --> 00:11:33,625
Where do you reckon he is?
293
00:11:33,660 --> 00:11:34,759
I don't know.
294
00:11:34,794 --> 00:11:36,606
I guess he's over
at Thelma Lou's.
295
00:11:36,630 --> 00:11:39,630
Thelma Lou?!
296
00:11:47,056 --> 00:11:48,422
Thelma Lou!
297
00:11:48,457 --> 00:11:50,124
I'm here!
298
00:12:01,421 --> 00:12:03,788
Oh... Hello.
299
00:12:03,824 --> 00:12:04,889
Hi, sugarplum.
300
00:12:04,925 --> 00:12:06,123
How are you?
301
00:12:06,159 --> 00:12:09,127
Oh... Fine.
302
00:12:09,162 --> 00:12:10,594
I brought you these.
303
00:12:10,630 --> 00:12:11,929
Well, Jeff,
304
00:12:11,965 --> 00:12:14,565
there's something
we've got to clear up
305
00:12:14,600 --> 00:12:16,033
between you and me
306
00:12:16,069 --> 00:12:18,347
before this goes any further.
307
00:12:18,371 --> 00:12:19,503
There is?
308
00:12:19,538 --> 00:12:20,616
Mm-hmm.
309
00:12:20,640 --> 00:12:22,023
Of course there is.
310
00:12:22,058 --> 00:12:26,094
Now, I know I got no call
to ask you to marry me
311
00:12:26,129 --> 00:12:27,661
the first time we meet.
312
00:12:27,697 --> 00:12:28,996
It ain't respectable.
313
00:12:29,032 --> 00:12:31,065
So I'll tell you what I'll do...
314
00:12:31,101 --> 00:12:32,812
I'll go away for a
bit, and come back,
315
00:12:32,836 --> 00:12:34,252
and it'll be our second visit.
316
00:12:34,287 --> 00:12:36,403
By then, it'll be respectable.
317
00:12:39,375 --> 00:12:40,458
Here.
318
00:12:40,494 --> 00:12:41,759
You like 'em?
319
00:12:41,795 --> 00:12:42,760
Yes.
320
00:12:42,796 --> 00:12:44,762
Oh... Ooh!
321
00:12:44,798 --> 00:12:46,480
Jeff!
322
00:12:46,515 --> 00:12:47,977
Come on, now, Thelma Lou.
323
00:12:48,001 --> 00:12:49,367
You know you love it!
324
00:12:49,402 --> 00:12:50,635
Oh, please!
325
00:12:50,670 --> 00:12:52,136
Thelma Lou, you're juicier
326
00:12:52,171 --> 00:12:54,188
than a barrelful
of corn squeezin's.
327
00:12:54,223 --> 00:12:56,424
Good-bye.
328
00:12:58,678 --> 00:13:00,995
Bye.
329
00:13:03,016 --> 00:13:04,182
Pruitt!
330
00:13:04,217 --> 00:13:06,384
Oh, hi, little buddy.
331
00:13:06,419 --> 00:13:08,586
I wanna talk to you
about Thelma Lou.
332
00:13:08,622 --> 00:13:10,266
I can't never thank you enough
333
00:13:10,290 --> 00:13:11,601
for bringing me to her.
334
00:13:11,625 --> 00:13:13,224
That's just the point, Jeff.
335
00:13:13,260 --> 00:13:14,692
You can't have Thelma Lou.
336
00:13:14,727 --> 00:13:16,861
Huh? I... I can't?
337
00:13:16,896 --> 00:13:19,063
You can't have her
'cause she's mine.
338
00:13:19,098 --> 00:13:20,064
Yours?
339
00:13:20,099 --> 00:13:21,699
Well, that's right.
Everybody knows that.
340
00:13:21,734 --> 00:13:22,800
She's my girl.
341
00:13:22,835 --> 00:13:24,180
Everybody knows
that, for heaven's sakes.
342
00:13:24,204 --> 00:13:25,503
You engaged to her?
343
00:13:25,539 --> 00:13:27,154
Well, not exactly.
344
00:13:27,189 --> 00:13:29,657
Did you ask her to marry ya?
345
00:13:29,692 --> 00:13:30,858
Well, no.
346
00:13:30,893 --> 00:13:32,370
Well, then it kinda appears that
347
00:13:32,394 --> 00:13:34,506
she's really more my
girl than she is yours,
348
00:13:34,530 --> 00:13:36,976
'cause I ain't gonna
beat around the bush.
349
00:13:37,000 --> 00:13:38,694
I got my mind made up, and
I'm gonna ask her real quick.
350
00:13:38,718 --> 00:13:40,312
Now, if you'll excuse me,
351
00:13:40,336 --> 00:13:42,648
I'm gonna get some
more sweet peas.
352
00:13:42,672 --> 00:13:44,950
You know, for just a
minute there, little buddy,
353
00:13:44,974 --> 00:13:47,174
you had me real worried.
354
00:13:48,578 --> 00:13:51,098
I'll see ya, little buddy.
355
00:14:00,056 --> 00:14:01,388
Why, hello, Barney.
356
00:14:01,424 --> 00:14:03,524
Thelma Lou, it's got to stop!
357
00:14:03,559 --> 00:14:06,593
What's got to stop?
358
00:14:08,397 --> 00:14:10,709
And it's got to stop right now.
359
00:14:10,733 --> 00:14:11,699
Nip it!
360
00:14:11,734 --> 00:14:13,367
Nip it in the bud.
361
00:14:13,402 --> 00:14:14,802
Nip what in the bud?
362
00:14:14,837 --> 00:14:16,314
You and Jeff, that's what.
363
00:14:16,338 --> 00:14:17,916
Nip it. Tell him you're mine.
364
00:14:17,940 --> 00:14:20,207
Barney Fife, I do
believe you're jealous.
365
00:14:20,242 --> 00:14:22,843
Doggone it, Thelma Lou,
you're my girl, ain't ya?
366
00:14:22,879 --> 00:14:24,045
Of course I am.
367
00:14:24,080 --> 00:14:26,814
All right then,
nip it! Tell him.
368
00:14:26,849 --> 00:14:28,315
All right, I'll tell him.
369
00:14:28,350 --> 00:14:29,762
You're darn right, you will.
370
00:14:29,786 --> 00:14:31,997
Doggone it, Thelma Lou,
you're mine, and you know it.
371
00:14:32,021 --> 00:14:34,299
And you better let him know it.
372
00:14:34,323 --> 00:14:35,890
And that's an order!
373
00:14:39,896 --> 00:14:41,195
I had to do it, Andy.
374
00:14:41,230 --> 00:14:43,042
I hate to get rough
with a woman.
375
00:14:43,066 --> 00:14:44,031
You know that.
376
00:14:44,067 --> 00:14:45,199
Oh, I know that.
377
00:14:45,234 --> 00:14:47,546
It was just one
of them situations.
378
00:14:47,570 --> 00:14:49,810
Wasn't nothing else I could do.
379
00:14:49,839 --> 00:14:52,539
I just had to adopt
a "get tough" policy.
380
00:14:52,575 --> 00:14:54,175
And that settled things?
381
00:14:54,210 --> 00:14:55,626
Oh, sure. What else?
382
00:14:55,662 --> 00:14:57,840
You know what I mean, Andy.
383
00:14:57,864 --> 00:15:00,397
I mean, when I lay the law down
384
00:15:00,433 --> 00:15:03,100
to Thelma Lou... or
to any other woman...
385
00:15:03,135 --> 00:15:04,335
That's it.
386
00:15:04,370 --> 00:15:07,605
Well, if that's it, what's that?
387
00:15:07,640 --> 00:15:09,173
What's what?
388
00:15:18,201 --> 00:15:19,500
Barney, where you going?
389
00:15:19,535 --> 00:15:20,834
I got to fight him, Andy!
390
00:15:20,870 --> 00:15:22,836
I've got to fight
for what's mine.
391
00:15:22,872 --> 00:15:24,850
You can't fight Jeff
Pruitt. He could kill you.
392
00:15:24,874 --> 00:15:27,508
What do you expect me to
do? Roll over and play dead?
393
00:15:27,543 --> 00:15:29,377
There's such a
thing as self-respect,
394
00:15:29,412 --> 00:15:31,145
and a man can
lose a lot of things,
395
00:15:31,180 --> 00:15:32,346
but he can't lose that!
396
00:15:32,382 --> 00:15:34,026
Barney, I can't let you do it.
397
00:15:34,050 --> 00:15:35,349
This is my business!
398
00:15:35,385 --> 00:15:36,850
You got no right to stop me!
399
00:15:36,886 --> 00:15:38,697
I got more than a
right. I got a duty!
400
00:15:38,721 --> 00:15:40,232
Barney, you're a deputy sheriff.
401
00:15:40,256 --> 00:15:42,167
Now, how would it
look, a deputy sheriff
402
00:15:42,191 --> 00:15:44,370
mixin' in a roughhouse
brawl with a civilian?
403
00:15:44,394 --> 00:15:46,860
I don't care! A man's got
to do what he's got to do!
404
00:15:46,896 --> 00:15:49,997
Barney, I forbid you
to fight Jeff Pruitt,
405
00:15:50,033 --> 00:15:51,565
and that's a order!
406
00:15:59,075 --> 00:16:00,286
Oh, that's silly.
407
00:16:00,310 --> 00:16:02,821
Barney hasn't lost
me to Jeff Pruitt
408
00:16:02,845 --> 00:16:03,923
or anyone else.
409
00:16:03,947 --> 00:16:06,247
Well, he saw Jeff
walkin' with you,
410
00:16:06,282 --> 00:16:09,383
and he knows he's
been bringin' you flowers.
411
00:16:09,419 --> 00:16:10,551
What about that?
412
00:16:10,586 --> 00:16:12,886
I've tried to
discourage him, Andy,
413
00:16:12,922 --> 00:16:15,689
but I don't wanna
be rude and hurt him.
414
00:16:15,724 --> 00:16:17,358
And he's so persistent.
415
00:16:17,393 --> 00:16:18,759
Yeah, he is that.
416
00:16:18,794 --> 00:16:20,494
Jeff's a good old buddy.
417
00:16:20,529 --> 00:16:22,629
He just don't know any better.
418
00:16:22,665 --> 00:16:23,965
Well, seems to me
419
00:16:24,000 --> 00:16:26,245
he's got to learn
he can't pick a wife
420
00:16:26,269 --> 00:16:28,709
like he would another
head of livestock.
421
00:16:28,737 --> 00:16:30,137
What makes him think
422
00:16:30,173 --> 00:16:32,351
I'd wanna go live
on a farm with him?
423
00:16:32,375 --> 00:16:34,308
Well, I'll tell you one thing...
424
00:16:34,344 --> 00:16:36,710
Jeff wouldn't be
able to live in town.
425
00:16:36,745 --> 00:16:38,079
No. Fellas like him's
426
00:16:38,114 --> 00:16:40,948
been used to living
out in the open that way,
427
00:16:40,984 --> 00:16:43,985
why, he'd kick like a
buckin' bronco cooped up.
428
00:16:44,020 --> 00:16:45,619
You know...
429
00:16:47,623 --> 00:16:51,392
Thelma Lou, we're gonna
have to do a little bronco bustin'.
430
00:16:53,329 --> 00:16:56,514
You mean there's a chance
she might not wanna marry me?
431
00:16:56,549 --> 00:16:57,732
That's right, Jeff,
432
00:16:57,767 --> 00:16:59,800
but don't you get
discouraged now.
433
00:16:59,836 --> 00:17:01,669
There's just as good a chance
434
00:17:01,704 --> 00:17:03,904
that she might
wanna marry ya if...
435
00:17:03,940 --> 00:17:05,060
If what?
436
00:17:05,091 --> 00:17:06,507
If you fill the bill
437
00:17:06,543 --> 00:17:09,326
on what's her idea
of a dream prince.
438
00:17:09,362 --> 00:17:11,328
Well, I sure
like that little gal.
439
00:17:11,363 --> 00:17:12,563
I aim to please her.
440
00:17:12,598 --> 00:17:14,064
Good. Good.
441
00:17:14,099 --> 00:17:16,934
Now, the first thing, you
got to cut out the rough stuff.
442
00:17:16,969 --> 00:17:18,814
You got to quit
pickin' up Thelma Lou
443
00:17:18,838 --> 00:17:20,849
every time you see
her, and shakin' her.
444
00:17:20,873 --> 00:17:21,939
I do?
445
00:17:21,974 --> 00:17:24,858
Yeah. You got to
be gentle with her.
446
00:17:24,894 --> 00:17:27,394
What would do when you see her
447
00:17:27,429 --> 00:17:31,832
is you bow from the waist,
take ahold of her hand...
448
00:17:31,868 --> 00:17:34,301
Don't squeeze. Just easy.
449
00:17:34,336 --> 00:17:37,004
Now, if you're
feelin' real bold,
450
00:17:37,039 --> 00:17:40,073
you give her
fingers a little kissy.
451
00:17:40,109 --> 00:17:41,375
Like that.
452
00:17:41,410 --> 00:17:44,512
That's bold?
453
00:17:44,547 --> 00:17:46,714
That's the gentleman's way.
454
00:17:50,403 --> 00:17:51,936
Everything's gonna be fine.
455
00:17:51,971 --> 00:17:53,337
It just takes practice.
456
00:17:53,372 --> 00:17:56,040
You wanna please your
bride-to-be, don't you?
457
00:17:56,075 --> 00:17:57,207
Sure I do.
458
00:17:57,243 --> 00:17:59,744
All right. Then you're gonna
have to learn these things.
459
00:17:59,779 --> 00:18:01,946
You know what
Thelma Lou always says.
460
00:18:01,981 --> 00:18:03,113
She always says
461
00:18:03,149 --> 00:18:04,916
that she likes a
man with etiquette
462
00:18:04,951 --> 00:18:05,983
and social grace.
463
00:18:06,018 --> 00:18:07,585
Ain't that right, Aunt Bee?
464
00:18:07,620 --> 00:18:08,920
If she said it once,
465
00:18:08,955 --> 00:18:10,699
she said it a thousand times.
466
00:18:10,723 --> 00:18:12,701
Yes, sir, and you're really
gonna have to learn these things.
467
00:18:12,725 --> 00:18:14,258
Now, come on, one more time.
468
00:18:14,293 --> 00:18:15,760
Practice makes perfect.
469
00:18:15,795 --> 00:18:17,628
This is your cookie plate.
470
00:18:17,664 --> 00:18:19,530
That's your teacup.
471
00:18:19,566 --> 00:18:20,898
Go ahead.
472
00:18:22,902 --> 00:18:24,201
Go ahead.
473
00:18:28,741 --> 00:18:30,240
Good.
474
00:18:30,276 --> 00:18:32,009
Good.
475
00:18:32,044 --> 00:18:33,544
Good.
476
00:18:35,715 --> 00:18:37,147
One more time.
477
00:18:37,183 --> 00:18:39,684
This is your cookie plate.
478
00:18:39,719 --> 00:18:41,619
That's your teacup.
479
00:18:41,654 --> 00:18:42,954
Aw, but, Andy,
480
00:18:42,989 --> 00:18:45,122
what do I need a new suit for?
481
00:18:45,157 --> 00:18:47,358
Jeff, we got you
acting like a gentleman.
482
00:18:47,393 --> 00:18:49,527
Now we got to get
you lookin' like one.
483
00:18:49,562 --> 00:18:51,896
Aw, but, Andy, I...
And, when we do,
484
00:18:51,931 --> 00:18:54,231
you'll be ready for a
date with Thelma Lou.
485
00:19:00,607 --> 00:19:03,924
Well... Good evenin', Jeff.
486
00:19:03,959 --> 00:19:05,810
Evenin', Thelma Lou.
487
00:19:05,845 --> 00:19:07,428
Come on in.
488
00:19:12,501 --> 00:19:14,568
Let me take your hat.
489
00:19:14,603 --> 00:19:15,903
Thank you.
490
00:19:15,939 --> 00:19:17,939
My, don't you look nice.
491
00:19:17,974 --> 00:19:20,241
That's a good-lookin' suit.
492
00:19:20,276 --> 00:19:22,376
The biggest one they had.
493
00:19:22,412 --> 00:19:24,645
How about something to eat?
494
00:19:24,680 --> 00:19:27,059
I've made some supper for us.
495
00:19:27,083 --> 00:19:28,382
That sounds good.
496
00:19:28,418 --> 00:19:29,716
I'm starved.
497
00:19:29,752 --> 00:19:32,719
You come right over
here and sit down.
498
00:19:32,755 --> 00:19:35,856
Honey pie, somebody
got in your food
499
00:19:35,891 --> 00:19:37,851
and tore it into
little teeny pieces.
500
00:19:37,877 --> 00:19:39,327
Oh, you silly boy.
501
00:19:39,362 --> 00:19:41,562
They're finger sandwiches.
502
00:19:48,554 --> 00:19:50,337
Well?
503
00:19:50,373 --> 00:19:51,672
Kinda good.
504
00:19:51,707 --> 00:19:54,358
Whets my appetite for supper.
505
00:19:55,844 --> 00:19:58,278
Why, Jeff, this is supper.
506
00:19:58,314 --> 00:20:00,464
You're joking.
507
00:20:00,499 --> 00:20:01,999
Why, no.
508
00:20:02,035 --> 00:20:04,735
Can you honestly
call that a meal?
509
00:20:04,770 --> 00:20:06,882
I believe in keeping trim.
510
00:20:06,906 --> 00:20:09,974
Trim? Why, there ain't
enough meal there to...
511
00:20:10,009 --> 00:20:11,309
to get skinny on.
512
00:20:11,344 --> 00:20:15,029
Jeffrey, you say
the wittiest things.
513
00:20:15,064 --> 00:20:18,331
Now, you just sit
right back there
514
00:20:18,367 --> 00:20:20,534
and enjoy your supper.
515
00:20:22,571 --> 00:20:24,087
Come in.
516
00:20:24,123 --> 00:20:25,606
Hi, there, you two.
517
00:20:25,641 --> 00:20:27,675
Have I got news for you.
518
00:20:27,710 --> 00:20:29,243
It's about a house.
519
00:20:29,278 --> 00:20:30,661
A house for us?
520
00:20:30,696 --> 00:20:32,629
I been speaking to Tom Biggers,
521
00:20:32,665 --> 00:20:34,705
and he's got three
dandy ones for sale.
522
00:20:34,733 --> 00:20:36,100
You can take your pick.
523
00:20:36,135 --> 00:20:38,752
What do I want with a
house in town, Andy?
524
00:20:38,787 --> 00:20:40,404
I got a farm already.
525
00:20:40,439 --> 00:20:42,401
Oh, you'll be sellin'
that and movin' into town
526
00:20:42,425 --> 00:20:43,985
now that you're
marryin' Thelma Lou.
527
00:20:44,009 --> 00:20:47,244
I'm afraid I'm just not
the farm girl type, Jeff.
528
00:20:47,279 --> 00:20:48,980
I hope you don't mind.
529
00:20:49,015 --> 00:20:50,114
Oh, Jeff understands.
530
00:20:50,149 --> 00:20:51,961
And that ain't the
only good news.
531
00:20:51,985 --> 00:20:54,418
I been lookin' into
some jobs you can get.
532
00:20:54,453 --> 00:20:55,469
Jobs?
533
00:20:55,505 --> 00:20:57,605
That's right. There's a
opening down at the bank.
534
00:20:57,640 --> 00:20:58,839
They need another guard.
535
00:20:58,874 --> 00:21:01,007
Or you can work in the
vegetable department
536
00:21:01,043 --> 00:21:02,343
over at Crowley's Market.
537
00:21:02,378 --> 00:21:04,122
Or... and I saved
the best for last...
538
00:21:04,146 --> 00:21:06,831
You can go right to
work as a shoe clerk
539
00:21:06,866 --> 00:21:08,632
at Harvey Willick's store. Huh?
540
00:21:08,667 --> 00:21:10,662
Yes, I believe that is best.
541
00:21:10,686 --> 00:21:13,520
I think, Jeff, that's
the job we'll take.
542
00:21:13,556 --> 00:21:15,806
And then I... We?
543
00:21:15,842 --> 00:21:19,860
Now, just a darn
minute here, you two.
544
00:21:19,896 --> 00:21:22,379
If you think I'm gonna
work in a shoe store,
545
00:21:22,414 --> 00:21:24,509
you got another think comin'.
546
00:21:24,533 --> 00:21:25,728
There never was,
and there never will be,
547
00:21:25,752 --> 00:21:26,862
a Pruitt that ever
worked in a place
548
00:21:26,886 --> 00:21:28,318
that had a roof on it.
549
00:21:28,354 --> 00:21:31,321
And there never was a
Pruitt that ever wore a tie,
550
00:21:31,357 --> 00:21:32,957
or ever wore a suit...
551
00:21:34,477 --> 00:21:37,411
or ever tried to ride
a cup and saucer
552
00:21:37,447 --> 00:21:39,180
piggyback on his knee.
553
00:21:39,215 --> 00:21:40,359
You know something, Thelma Lou?
554
00:21:40,383 --> 00:21:42,616
I believe you're
tryin' to change me.
555
00:21:42,652 --> 00:21:45,168
Why, Jeff...
556
00:21:45,204 --> 00:21:47,132
And I ain't gonna
have no part of it!
557
00:21:47,156 --> 00:21:48,321
I'm goin' back to Bertha.
558
00:21:48,357 --> 00:21:50,168
At least she likes
me the way I am.
559
00:21:50,192 --> 00:21:51,336
The deal's off.
560
00:21:51,360 --> 00:21:52,459
Barney, what are...?
561
00:21:52,494 --> 00:21:54,461
I know I promised,
but I can't help it.
562
00:21:54,496 --> 00:21:55,907
A man's got to do
what he's got to do.
563
00:21:55,931 --> 00:21:56,897
Barney, you can't...
564
00:21:56,932 --> 00:21:58,409
No, Andy. All right,
Jeff, put 'em up!
565
00:21:58,433 --> 00:21:59,745
I said put 'em up.
I'm gonna fight ya.
566
00:21:59,769 --> 00:22:01,869
I don't wanna fight you, Barney.
567
00:22:01,904 --> 00:22:03,949
Either fight or get out of here.
568
00:22:03,973 --> 00:22:05,305
I'm going. I'm going.
569
00:22:23,575 --> 00:22:25,342
Well, how about that?
570
00:22:25,378 --> 00:22:27,945
Well, you know the old saying...
571
00:22:27,980 --> 00:22:31,748
"The bigger they come,
the harder they fall."
572
00:22:31,784 --> 00:22:34,952
And here's another
old saying, baby...
573
00:22:34,987 --> 00:22:37,888
"To the winner
belongs the spoils."
574
00:22:37,924 --> 00:22:39,423
Come here, you.
575
00:22:45,098 --> 00:22:46,880
You know something, Andy?
576
00:22:46,915 --> 00:22:48,382
What?
577
00:22:48,417 --> 00:22:50,050
That little incident with Jeff
578
00:22:50,085 --> 00:22:51,552
really taught me something.
579
00:22:51,587 --> 00:22:53,887
It did? Yeah.
580
00:22:53,922 --> 00:22:56,490
You don't actually have
to use physical force
581
00:22:56,525 --> 00:22:59,393
if you just show the other
fella you mean business.
582
00:22:59,428 --> 00:23:01,728
Just quietly let him know
583
00:23:01,763 --> 00:23:04,665
that you got it if you need it.
584
00:23:04,700 --> 00:23:08,335
Walk softly, and
carry a big stick, huh?
585
00:23:08,370 --> 00:23:10,537
That's about it.
586
00:23:14,109 --> 00:23:16,727
Well, how do you like that?
587
00:23:19,147 --> 00:23:21,799
Joe Waters ought to
know better than that.
588
00:23:21,834 --> 00:23:23,300
I'll handle this.
589
00:23:23,336 --> 00:23:24,902
Hey, Joe!
590
00:23:26,739 --> 00:23:28,784
You know that's
a no parking zone.
591
00:23:28,808 --> 00:23:31,486
Now, you get if you
know what's good for you.
592
00:23:31,510 --> 00:23:32,977
What was that you said?
593
00:23:33,012 --> 00:23:34,522
I don't chew my cabbage twice!
594
00:23:34,546 --> 00:23:36,324
Now, you get that
car out of here!
595
00:23:36,348 --> 00:23:37,848
Why, you little...
596
00:23:41,403 --> 00:23:44,220
Okay, Barney. Okay.
597
00:23:56,268 --> 00:23:58,401
That's the way I
like to handle it.
598
00:23:58,437 --> 00:24:01,071
Be firm, send them on their way.
599
00:24:01,106 --> 00:24:02,505
I hate fighting.
600
00:24:02,541 --> 00:24:04,041
It's ugly.
38212
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