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1
00:00:09,656 --> 00:00:11,451
This is all my fault.
2
00:00:11,486 --> 00:00:13,246
Delilah said she'd only
come see us at a funeral,
3
00:00:13,347 --> 00:00:15,265
then I thought of all these ways
to kill you guys.
4
00:00:15,265 --> 00:00:16,645
I never wanted any of this to happen.
5
00:00:16,680 --> 00:00:18,095
Shh. It's okay.
6
00:00:18,130 --> 00:00:21,443
We're gonna get through this.
We'll be okay.
7
00:00:22,997 --> 00:00:27,277
Nate was a loving husband
and a devoted father.
8
00:00:27,311 --> 00:00:29,148
He was the type of guy who...
9
00:00:30,964 --> 00:00:33,317
What does that say? What's that say?
10
00:00:33,352 --> 00:00:35,250
The guy men want to be
and women want to be with?
11
00:00:35,285 --> 00:00:37,528
Right. Men want to be... Ugh.
12
00:00:37,563 --> 00:00:39,530
Uh... huh.
13
00:00:39,565 --> 00:00:41,291
The type of guy that when you've got
14
00:00:41,325 --> 00:00:46,296
10 seconds left on the
clock, down by two,
15
00:00:46,330 --> 00:00:48,332
you're short handed, three on five,
16
00:00:48,367 --> 00:00:50,679
and the ref has just been
riding your dick all night,
17
00:00:50,714 --> 00:00:53,475
that guy says,
"I'll score two by myself
18
00:00:53,510 --> 00:00:54,580
and get us to overtime."
19
00:00:54,614 --> 00:00:56,613
- This is so stupid.
- Oh, my God.
20
00:00:57,169 --> 00:00:58,584
Holy cow.
21
00:00:58,618 --> 00:01:00,137
Let me tell you what's stupid.
22
00:01:00,172 --> 00:01:03,032
Hearing an "ugh" in the middle
of your own eulogy.
23
00:01:03,727 --> 00:01:05,349
And "#1 dud"?
24
00:01:05,384 --> 00:01:06,592
They were out of "A's."
25
00:01:06,626 --> 00:01:08,559
Then by an "E" for the end.
26
00:01:08,594 --> 00:01:09,595
"Dud-e"?
27
00:01:09,629 --> 00:01:11,286
God. Piece of crap.
28
00:01:11,321 --> 00:01:12,598
What are these?
29
00:01:12,665 --> 00:01:14,184
- Carnations.
- They suck!
30
00:01:14,186 --> 00:01:16,222
- They're fine.
- Tennis?
31
00:01:16,257 --> 00:01:17,706
What am I, Italian?
32
00:01:17,741 --> 00:01:20,054
And my Drew Stafford
autographed skates?
33
00:01:20,088 --> 00:01:21,572
How many times have I told you,
34
00:01:21,607 --> 00:01:24,196
they don't come out of the glass case?
35
00:01:24,230 --> 00:01:26,198
And don't even get me
started on this venue.
36
00:01:26,232 --> 00:01:28,019
- It's atrocious.
- What?
37
00:01:28,113 --> 00:01:29,863
What is that smell, dead raccoons?
38
00:01:29,884 --> 00:01:32,618
Hey! War heroes have funerals here.
39
00:01:32,652 --> 00:01:34,620
So I guess it's good enough
for the greatest generations,
40
00:01:34,654 --> 00:01:35,759
but not for Nate the Great?
41
00:01:35,793 --> 00:01:37,347
Can I tell you, if I was actually dead,
42
00:01:37,381 --> 00:01:39,038
I'd be rolling over in
my grave right now.
43
00:01:39,073 --> 00:01:41,213
You were cremated, dum-dum.
Keep your story straight.
44
00:01:41,247 --> 00:01:42,593
Why are you doing any of this?
45
00:01:42,628 --> 00:01:43,836
It's such a stupid idea.
46
00:01:43,870 --> 00:01:45,769
What are you talking about?
This was your idea.
47
00:01:45,803 --> 00:01:47,219
I still say that when you saw her,
48
00:01:47,253 --> 00:01:48,979
you should have grabbed
her and called us,
49
00:01:49,014 --> 00:01:51,533
- but that's just me talking.
- Yes, and now here we are,
50
00:01:51,568 --> 00:01:53,673
at my fake funeral, okay?
51
00:01:53,708 --> 00:01:55,606
So what we're gonna do
is, we're gonna wait
52
00:01:55,641 --> 00:01:57,746
for Delilah to show up,
we're gonna grab her,
53
00:01:57,781 --> 00:02:00,370
we're gonna strap her to
a chair and shake her
54
00:02:00,404 --> 00:02:02,199
until she realizes
how much she loves us.
55
00:02:02,234 --> 00:02:04,512
Now, let's take it from the top,
and a little energy this time.
56
00:02:04,546 --> 00:02:06,479
Okay? A little emotion.
57
00:02:06,514 --> 00:02:08,343
Let's try to sell this stupid premise.
58
00:02:08,378 --> 00:02:10,179
Five, six, seven... Shit, shit, shit!
59
00:02:10,186 --> 00:02:11,814
What? Oh!
60
00:02:11,815 --> 00:02:13,040
Excuse me.
61
00:02:13,041 --> 00:02:14,522
Hi, hello. Can I help you?
62
00:02:14,556 --> 00:02:17,482
I'm here for Nate Parker's memorial.
63
00:02:18,388 --> 00:02:20,769
I assumed that I'm in the right place.
64
00:02:20,804 --> 00:02:22,392
Uh, yes. Yeah.
65
00:02:22,426 --> 00:02:24,394
I-I'm so sorry. Who... Who are you?
66
00:02:24,926 --> 00:02:25,965
I'm Skye.
67
00:02:26,568 --> 00:02:28,122
Nate's old girlfriend.
68
00:02:28,156 --> 00:02:30,124
How did you hear about this event?
69
00:02:30,158 --> 00:02:31,796
- Well...
- I invited her.
70
00:02:32,574 --> 00:02:36,785
She was the girl that my dead
son should have married.
71
00:02:47,634 --> 00:02:49,634
Synced and corrected by hawken45
for www.addic7ed.com
72
00:02:49,833 --> 00:02:52,698
I wish I could do something.
73
00:02:52,732 --> 00:02:54,527
I can't believe she invited people.
74
00:02:54,562 --> 00:02:56,150
I needed her to tell Delilah.
75
00:02:56,184 --> 00:02:57,565
So, you told her I was actually dead?
76
00:02:57,599 --> 00:02:59,843
I didn't trust her to be a good
enough actor to know the truth.
77
00:02:59,877 --> 00:03:02,121
- Oh, my God.
- She looks so sad.
78
00:03:02,156 --> 00:03:03,605
I've never seen her cry before.
79
00:03:03,640 --> 00:03:05,400
- I thought you would love that.
- What?
80
00:03:05,435 --> 00:03:07,035
This is the same woman
who made you hobble around
81
00:03:07,036 --> 00:03:08,866
on a broken femur for six months.
82
00:03:09,380 --> 00:03:11,130
In her defense, I was 6. Okay?
83
00:03:11,136 --> 00:03:12,336
I should have been a little tougher.
84
00:03:13,443 --> 00:03:14,546
I can't do this. We should
let her off the hook.
85
00:03:14,547 --> 00:03:15,376
- No. No, no, no, no, no.
- Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
86
00:03:15,410 --> 00:03:17,344
- Hey, hey, hey!
- I-I gotta tell her.
87
00:03:17,378 --> 00:03:18,448
- I gotta tell her, okay?
- No!
88
00:03:18,482 --> 00:03:20,484
Plus, it'd be great to see Skye.
She looks awesome.
89
00:03:20,519 --> 00:03:22,253
What's gonna happen when
you come back from the dead?
90
00:03:22,287 --> 00:03:24,176
People are gonna be pissed,
they're gonna leave,
91
00:03:24,178 --> 00:03:25,210
and they're gonna go tell Delilah.
92
00:03:25,222 --> 00:03:26,594
Then we never see our
daughter again, and...
93
00:03:26,628 --> 00:03:28,492
Just stick to the plan, okay?
94
00:03:28,527 --> 00:03:30,218
Stay dead.
95
00:03:30,253 --> 00:03:32,358
- Is this about my ex girlfriend?
- What?
96
00:03:32,393 --> 00:03:33,842
Is this about my ex girlfriend?
97
00:03:33,877 --> 00:03:35,568
Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah.
98
00:03:35,603 --> 00:03:37,743
No! Babe, no.
99
00:03:37,777 --> 00:03:39,942
You can see her. When you're
not pretending to be dead,
100
00:03:39,943 --> 00:03:41,885
you can see her all day long.
I don't care. Why?
101
00:03:41,919 --> 00:03:43,887
Do you think I'm jealous,
'cause she's a...
102
00:03:43,921 --> 00:03:45,475
- Neurosurgeon?
- What?
103
00:03:45,509 --> 00:03:47,615
- She's a brain doctor, too?
- Yeah.
104
00:03:47,649 --> 00:03:49,341
No wonder she dumped you.
105
00:03:49,375 --> 00:03:51,619
Okay.
106
00:03:51,653 --> 00:03:53,103
I dumped her.
107
00:03:53,138 --> 00:03:56,486
Hey. Hey. Listen.
108
00:03:56,520 --> 00:03:58,350
Trust me, everything's gonna be okay.
109
00:03:58,384 --> 00:03:59,884
Like, for real... like,
in a couple of hours,
110
00:03:59,903 --> 00:04:03,458
- everything's gonna be fine.
- You're a horrible woman.
111
00:04:03,493 --> 00:04:06,323
Oh...
112
00:04:06,358 --> 00:04:08,222
It will be okay, Mom.
113
00:04:08,256 --> 00:04:09,602
Mom?
114
00:04:09,637 --> 00:04:13,365
Yeah, it's what I've always called her.
115
00:04:13,399 --> 00:04:14,745
Why? What do you call her?
116
00:04:14,780 --> 00:04:16,540
I... don't call her.
117
00:04:16,575 --> 00:04:17,921
That's a shame.
118
00:04:17,955 --> 00:04:20,199
'Cause she's an incredible woman.
119
00:04:20,234 --> 00:04:21,649
She's not.
120
00:04:21,683 --> 00:04:24,928
♪ Oh, ring-a-ding-dong,
the dipshit's dead ♪
121
00:04:24,962 --> 00:04:26,029
Hey!
122
00:04:26,268 --> 00:04:28,242
- Gene.
- Oh, Robin!
123
00:04:28,276 --> 00:04:31,025
Helen called me.
I got here as fast as I could.
124
00:04:31,125 --> 00:04:33,817
I'm so sorry for your loss.
125
00:04:34,352 --> 00:04:36,390
But I got to say, the tragedy...
126
00:04:36,871 --> 00:04:39,425
is doing wonders for your figure, girl.
127
00:04:39,460 --> 00:04:41,669
Okay, okay. All right. Yep. Let's...
128
00:04:42,980 --> 00:04:45,569
Can't even console a woman
in America anymore.
129
00:04:45,604 --> 00:04:46,743
You can just not with your lips.
130
00:04:46,777 --> 00:04:49,435
Yeah. That's why I'm going
to Russia later this week.
131
00:04:49,470 --> 00:04:52,680
Find myself a Slavic
bride... easy going.
132
00:04:52,714 --> 00:04:53,781
But I don't wanna go.
133
00:04:53,865 --> 00:04:55,332
Yeah, you gotta do
what you gotta do, though.
134
00:04:55,333 --> 00:04:57,114
- Give me a reason not to go.
- You should go.
135
00:04:57,115 --> 00:04:59,998
'Cause I'd rather buy American,
if you know what I mean.
136
00:04:59,999 --> 00:05:01,003
It's too soon, Gene.
137
00:05:01,004 --> 00:05:02,139
Gah!
138
00:05:02,140 --> 00:05:03,573
Well, I'm here till
of the end of the week
139
00:05:03,574 --> 00:05:05,156
in case you need something
to throw a leg over.
140
00:05:05,157 --> 00:05:06,214
Still too soon.
141
00:05:06,215 --> 00:05:08,777
In the meantime,
let's get this party started.
142
00:05:08,812 --> 00:05:10,986
That's what the dipshit
would have wanted.
143
00:05:11,021 --> 00:05:12,056
Okay.
144
00:05:12,091 --> 00:05:13,817
Whoo-whoo-whoo, whoo-whoo! Ooh-ooh.
145
00:05:25,639 --> 00:05:27,192
Okay!
146
00:05:27,272 --> 00:05:28,583
I'll get this thing rolling.
147
00:05:28,705 --> 00:05:32,018
Nate was a, um, idiot.
148
00:05:33,324 --> 00:05:36,078
He was a cuck.
149
00:05:36,079 --> 00:05:38,551
He was a terrible
provider for his family,
150
00:05:38,552 --> 00:05:40,851
but he was also...
151
00:05:41,777 --> 00:05:43,459
the worst employee I ever had.
152
00:05:47,569 --> 00:05:48,811
Who's next?
153
00:05:49,063 --> 00:05:50,134
I'll go.
154
00:05:50,135 --> 00:05:52,482
My son was such a wimp,
155
00:05:52,516 --> 00:05:57,211
he'd walk around saying,
"I broke my femur."
156
00:05:59,247 --> 00:06:01,318
I mean, I had a C-section.
157
00:06:01,353 --> 00:06:05,219
How the hell did my son
get so much pussy in him?
158
00:06:06,772 --> 00:06:11,121
But we should focus on the good things.
159
00:06:11,156 --> 00:06:14,814
Nate was with a beautiful, talented,
160
00:06:14,849 --> 00:06:18,033
intelligent, thoughtful woman.
161
00:06:19,371 --> 00:06:20,955
And he dumped her
162
00:06:21,373 --> 00:06:23,340
for ungrateful hooker.
163
00:06:24,686 --> 00:06:26,654
Don't judge me.
164
00:06:26,688 --> 00:06:29,795
You were always above
judgment, weren't you, Helen?
165
00:06:29,829 --> 00:06:32,556
Well, look who decided
166
00:06:32,591 --> 00:06:37,561
to show his stupid,
ugly, negligent face.
167
00:06:37,596 --> 00:06:39,494
Old King Cuck.
168
00:06:39,529 --> 00:06:41,496
Excuse me. Who are you?
169
00:06:41,979 --> 00:06:42,979
I'm Nate Parker.
170
00:06:46,846 --> 00:06:49,539
And that's my son you're shitting on.
171
00:06:56,477 --> 00:06:58,079
Papa?
172
00:07:02,018 --> 00:07:03,664
What the hell is going on?
173
00:07:03,699 --> 00:07:05,666
I thought he was dead and now he's not.
174
00:07:05,701 --> 00:07:07,288
I need to see what he looks like.
175
00:07:07,323 --> 00:07:09,808
Everybody's blocking him.
176
00:07:09,843 --> 00:07:11,948
What the hell does he look like?
I need to see his face.
177
00:07:15,124 --> 00:07:17,022
- Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
- What? What?!
178
00:07:17,057 --> 00:07:18,712
It's Blu Brown. It's... Oh, shit!
179
00:07:18,713 --> 00:07:21,440
Blu Brown!
180
00:07:21,475 --> 00:07:23,304
Shh! Shh!
181
00:07:23,339 --> 00:07:24,823
Blu Brown! Blu Brown! Blu Brown.
182
00:07:24,858 --> 00:07:26,267
It's Blu Brown. It's Blu Brown.
183
00:07:26,268 --> 00:07:27,869
Sweetie, shh, shh.
You're freaking out. You're...
184
00:07:27,871 --> 00:07:29,035
You're just saying colors, baby.
185
00:07:29,069 --> 00:07:31,381
My dad... My dad is Blu Brown.
He's actually Blu Brown.
186
00:07:31,416 --> 00:07:32,831
I don't know who that is.
187
00:07:32,866 --> 00:07:34,246
It's Southern Ontario's Red Green.
188
00:07:34,287 --> 00:07:35,322
He's a provincial treasure.
189
00:07:35,351 --> 00:07:37,353
- What?
- The beaver leader for the damn lodge.
190
00:07:37,387 --> 00:07:38,561
Blue Brown.
191
00:07:38,595 --> 00:07:40,429
Well, if you get the Quebec
feed, it's Blue Brun, but...
192
00:07:40,430 --> 00:07:42,052
Blu Brown.
193
00:07:42,218 --> 00:07:44,116
It's pretty much a bylaw to watch him.
194
00:07:44,151 --> 00:07:45,842
- What?
- It's actually more of a mandate,
195
00:07:45,877 --> 00:07:47,982
'cause 40% of all Canadian TV
has to be Canadian.
196
00:07:48,017 --> 00:07:50,916
- Slow down, slow down.
- Okay, sorry. Sorry, sorry.
197
00:07:50,951 --> 00:07:53,194
Look at me, overly apologizing,
that's where I get it.
198
00:07:53,229 --> 00:07:54,340
I'm half Canadian.
199
00:07:55,300 --> 00:07:57,405
So many things happening
to me right now.
200
00:07:57,440 --> 00:07:59,200
Oh, my God
201
00:07:59,235 --> 00:08:00,546
I'm having a deja bl...
202
00:08:00,579 --> 00:08:02,606
That's what he called
flashbacks on his show.
203
00:08:02,617 --> 00:08:03,648
Good!
_
204
00:08:03,650 --> 00:08:04,883
You get out of here and take your...
_
205
00:08:04,896 --> 00:08:06,621
So, my dad walked out
on me on Christmas Day
206
00:08:06,656 --> 00:08:08,416
when I was really young, okay?
207
00:08:08,451 --> 00:08:11,248
A couple years later, I found
this guy Blu Brown on TV.
208
00:08:12,282 --> 00:08:14,353
And it was like,
he seems really familiar,
209
00:08:14,388 --> 00:08:15,630
and now I know why.
210
00:08:15,665 --> 00:08:16,942
Check it out.
211
00:08:27,435 --> 00:08:28,574
Oh!
212
00:08:28,609 --> 00:08:30,266
Morning, beavers.
213
00:08:30,300 --> 00:08:31,577
How's it going, eh?
214
00:08:31,612 --> 00:08:33,870
So, how 'bout we whip up some breakfast
215
00:08:33,871 --> 00:08:35,512
in the damn lodge.
216
00:08:35,547 --> 00:08:37,031
Who wants eggs?
217
00:08:37,066 --> 00:08:39,032
Well, my goodness.
218
00:08:39,779 --> 00:08:42,036
Looks like she whipped
up a few English, eh?
219
00:08:43,808 --> 00:08:45,037
What are you laughing at?
220
00:08:45,039 --> 00:08:47,524
What aren't you laughing at?
It's hilarious.
221
00:08:47,559 --> 00:08:49,457
- Hey, Blu! Blu!
- Blu! Blu!
222
00:08:49,492 --> 00:08:53,028
Oh, here comes the
catch of the day, eh?
223
00:08:53,553 --> 00:08:55,978
You boys get lucky with
those rods today? Did ya?
224
00:08:55,980 --> 00:08:57,603
- Yeah!
- Yeah?
225
00:08:57,638 --> 00:09:01,538
Well, just remember,
it's not the size of your rod.
226
00:09:01,580 --> 00:09:04,272
It's how you wiggle your worm, eh?
227
00:09:04,306 --> 00:09:06,181
- What?
- It's wordplay.
228
00:09:06,182 --> 00:09:07,924
- It's cute.
- It's not cute.
229
00:09:07,959 --> 00:09:11,133
Heh, heh. Yeah. That's right.
230
00:09:12,132 --> 00:09:13,171
Beautiful hair there.
231
00:09:13,205 --> 00:09:15,096
There you go.
Give me a kiss right here.
232
00:09:15,096 --> 00:09:17,842
- He seems like a pedophile.
- Hey, you shut your mouth.
233
00:09:17,843 --> 00:09:19,841
Okay, that is my father
you're talking about.
234
00:09:23,414 --> 00:09:25,520
Mmm! Mmm.
235
00:09:25,554 --> 00:09:27,073
No! No!
236
00:09:27,108 --> 00:09:29,248
It was the '70s. Don't be such a prude.
237
00:09:29,282 --> 00:09:31,215
- That's not...
- Okay. You want funny?
238
00:09:31,250 --> 00:09:32,492
- Please.
- Watch this.
239
00:09:32,527 --> 00:09:35,288
Oh, God.
240
00:10:01,176 --> 00:10:03,947
Check under 'ze 'ood.
241
00:10:05,215 --> 00:10:06,975
This is so confusing. How...
242
00:10:07,010 --> 00:10:09,115
How is this a character
in a kid's show?
243
00:10:09,150 --> 00:10:10,772
It started on the Blu Brown show,
244
00:10:10,807 --> 00:10:12,981
but it was so friggin'
popular, they spun it off
245
00:10:13,016 --> 00:10:14,848
into its own salty late-night series.
246
00:10:15,664 --> 00:10:17,170
Watch this clip. This is funny.
247
00:10:18,275 --> 00:10:20,104
Boop! Boo-boo-boo-boo-boo-boo.
248
00:10:20,146 --> 00:10:24,322
Hey! I'm getting the feeling
that you're not a real doctor.
249
00:10:27,801 --> 00:10:28,812
Boop.
250
00:10:36,610 --> 00:10:39,303
Because... Oh, because her tits
are like the horns?
251
00:10:39,337 --> 00:10:40,925
What? No.
252
00:10:40,960 --> 00:10:43,341
The... the... The headlights.
253
00:10:43,376 --> 00:10:45,262
Then why is he inflating them?
254
00:10:45,953 --> 00:10:48,507
Oh, my God.
You just don't get it.
255
00:10:48,622 --> 00:10:50,072
Uh, yeah, I get it.
256
00:10:50,107 --> 00:10:51,936
I get that he's
incredibly objectifying.
257
00:10:51,971 --> 00:10:54,283
What's objectifying about
thinking she's a car?
258
00:10:54,318 --> 00:10:55,940
Okay, so what about this Fidget guy?
259
00:10:55,975 --> 00:10:57,493
I mean, that's...
that's a little tone deaf
260
00:10:57,528 --> 00:10:59,392
- for little people, don't you...
- What?
261
00:10:59,426 --> 00:11:02,291
He's called Fidget
'cause he's always fidgeting.
262
00:11:02,326 --> 00:11:04,500
That's how he always loses his glasses
263
00:11:04,535 --> 00:11:06,640
and gets into these
ridiculous scenarios.
264
00:11:06,675 --> 00:11:08,720
- That's not it.
- I gotta go talk to him.
265
00:11:08,721 --> 00:11:10,506
No, you're not. You're dead. Stay dead.
266
00:11:10,541 --> 00:11:12,108
- I have to talk to my father.
- Absolutely not.
267
00:11:12,109 --> 00:11:14,283
- Don't you dare.
- I'll wear a disguise.
268
00:11:14,888 --> 00:11:18,179
After all my shows,
I'd play my signature song.
269
00:11:18,877 --> 00:11:21,189
It was called "Nate Song."
270
00:11:21,345 --> 00:11:23,623
It's about a little boy
named Nate Parker.
271
00:11:31,355 --> 00:11:33,184
♪ Oh, Nate, Nate ♪
272
00:11:33,219 --> 00:11:34,949
♪ You are so, so great ♪
273
00:11:35,383 --> 00:11:38,841
♪ You were torn away
from me in grade eight ♪
274
00:11:39,432 --> 00:11:42,180
♪ So many things I should've saids ♪
275
00:11:43,295 --> 00:11:46,907
♪ Wish I taught ya yer A to Zeds ♪
276
00:11:47,716 --> 00:11:50,408
♪ I bet you think I'm not of your ilk ♪
277
00:11:50,443 --> 00:11:54,277
♪ But I know we love our homo milk ♪
278
00:11:54,278 --> 00:11:57,888
♪ Oh, Nate, Nate, Nate,
you are so, so great ♪
279
00:11:58,451 --> 00:12:01,659
♪ Let's hop on the Rideau
and go for a skate ♪
280
00:12:02,110 --> 00:12:05,699
♪ When I'm on TV, I'm a grade A kook ♪
281
00:12:05,734 --> 00:12:07,632
♪ When I'm off, I just want to hug ya ♪
282
00:12:07,667 --> 00:12:09,397
♪ Like a big wool toque ♪
283
00:12:09,774 --> 00:12:11,016
♪ Oh, boy ♪
284
00:12:11,152 --> 00:12:13,188
♪ I wish I could see
you Could see you. ♪
285
00:12:13,397 --> 00:12:14,480
♪ Just know Just know... ♪
286
00:12:14,481 --> 00:12:19,739
♪ I'm 1,609.34 kilometers away
I'm 1,609.34 kilometers away ♪
287
00:12:20,542 --> 00:12:23,096
♪ Oh, Nate, Nate ♪
288
00:12:23,131 --> 00:12:25,098
♪ The great Nate ♪
289
00:12:25,133 --> 00:12:28,653
♪ The greatest of the Nates
for greatness' sake ♪
290
00:12:28,688 --> 00:12:33,106
♪ Go, Nate, Nate, the great Nate ♪
291
00:12:33,141 --> 00:12:34,646
♪ The greatest of the Nates ♪
292
00:12:35,162 --> 00:12:36,899
♪ For greatness' sake ♪
293
00:12:47,776 --> 00:12:50,158
I can't do this anymore!
Stop! Everyone stop!
294
00:12:50,192 --> 00:12:51,204
This isn't right.
295
00:12:51,786 --> 00:12:52,971
You're right.
296
00:12:53,126 --> 00:12:54,472
I should have done a funny character
297
00:12:54,507 --> 00:12:55,542
and cheered everyone up.
298
00:12:55,577 --> 00:12:57,717
No. No. My dad's still alive.
299
00:12:57,751 --> 00:12:59,515
- What?
- I can't handle this anymore.
300
00:12:59,569 --> 00:13:01,341
- Oh, shit.
- Dad, come out! Dad!
301
00:13:01,376 --> 00:13:02,756
Wh... What are are you doing?
302
00:13:02,791 --> 00:13:04,724
Poor little dipshit's in denial.
303
00:13:04,758 --> 00:13:06,622
Think's his dad's the curtain.
304
00:13:06,657 --> 00:13:08,866
No, you dumb shithead,
he's actually alive.
305
00:13:09,970 --> 00:13:12,145
You're in shock, yeah?
There's no one behind there.
306
00:13:12,180 --> 00:13:13,767
Why don't you take a seat, buddy?
307
00:13:13,802 --> 00:13:15,562
No, I'm done pretending.
308
00:13:18,462 --> 00:13:20,464
This is ridiculous!
309
00:13:20,498 --> 00:13:21,775
Someone help me get down this curtain.
310
00:13:21,810 --> 00:13:23,639
I'll show you he's still alive. Okay.
311
00:13:23,674 --> 00:13:24,709
He's just...
312
00:13:26,504 --> 00:13:27,609
What the...
313
00:13:27,643 --> 00:13:30,577
Dad, where... Where are you?!
314
00:13:30,612 --> 00:13:31,854
What the...
315
00:13:31,889 --> 00:13:33,580
What the hell?
316
00:13:33,627 --> 00:13:35,107
Dad, what the hell?!
317
00:13:35,293 --> 00:13:36,407
What the...
318
00:13:38,361 --> 00:13:40,466
I-I-I swear he was just here!
319
00:13:40,622 --> 00:13:42,067
You...
320
00:13:42,068 --> 00:13:44,488
I don't know what happened. I...
321
00:13:44,522 --> 00:13:46,455
Well, then I guess
he really is dead, then.
322
00:13:49,838 --> 00:13:50,873
What the...
323
00:13:50,908 --> 00:13:52,806
Dad?
324
00:13:59,434 --> 00:14:00,469
Nate?
325
00:14:00,504 --> 00:14:03,196
This is outrageous!
326
00:14:03,231 --> 00:14:05,384
How could you?!
327
00:14:05,385 --> 00:14:09,340
What?! What?! What?!
328
00:14:09,375 --> 00:14:12,481
Give it a rest, Mom. I've seen enough.
329
00:14:12,516 --> 00:14:15,588
You guys are unbelievable.
330
00:14:18,591 --> 00:14:21,697
Man, I got to tell you, Robin,
that thing I said earlier
331
00:14:21,732 --> 00:14:25,448
about consoling you sexually,
that stuff... still stands.
332
00:14:25,448 --> 00:14:26,498
No.
333
00:14:26,779 --> 00:14:27,779
Just so you know,
334
00:14:27,780 --> 00:14:30,199
I don't blame you for any of this.
335
00:14:30,557 --> 00:14:33,422
Your mom told me all about Robin.
336
00:14:33,456 --> 00:14:35,424
It must be miserable.
337
00:14:35,458 --> 00:14:36,683
It's fine.
338
00:14:37,081 --> 00:14:40,532
If you need an escape,
I've got open arms,
339
00:14:41,326 --> 00:14:45,412
a warm bed, and so much money.
340
00:14:46,668 --> 00:14:48,041
I'm fine.
341
00:14:48,081 --> 00:14:49,427
You know, I never stopped loving you.
342
00:14:49,575 --> 00:14:50,852
Right?
343
00:14:50,888 --> 00:14:52,513
- I know.
- Yeah?
344
00:14:53,133 --> 00:14:54,270
I can't. I can't...
345
00:14:54,305 --> 00:14:55,409
No, no. No, no. Oh!
346
00:14:55,444 --> 00:14:56,777
- Stop, stop, stop.
- Hi. I'm right here.
347
00:14:56,845 --> 00:14:58,212
- I'm here. I'm right here.
- She's there.
348
00:14:58,214 --> 00:14:59,137
- He's...
- He's fine.
349
00:14:59,184 --> 00:15:00,752
He's fine. He's fine.He's...
He's gonna be okay.
350
00:15:00,753 --> 00:15:01,877
- Yeah.
- Thanks.
351
00:15:01,930 --> 00:15:04,142
This was the saddest day of my life,
352
00:15:04,177 --> 00:15:05,557
and you ruined it.
353
00:15:05,592 --> 00:15:07,421
Oh, come on, Mom.
We were gonna tell you.
354
00:15:07,456 --> 00:15:10,355
We were backstage debating
and then Dad showed up...
355
00:15:10,390 --> 00:15:12,150
Hold on. Hold on!
356
00:15:12,185 --> 00:15:14,428
Why am I apologizing to you? Okay?
357
00:15:14,463 --> 00:15:16,430
What kind of parent tells their own kid
358
00:15:16,465 --> 00:15:17,820
that their father is dead?
359
00:15:25,023 --> 00:15:27,864
I'm gonna ignore your
obvious hypocrisy,
360
00:15:27,865 --> 00:15:30,893
since I'm sure it's difficult
rising from the dead
361
00:15:30,928 --> 00:15:33,171
after falling from the ceiling.
362
00:15:33,206 --> 00:15:35,311
Speaking of which, would you get up?
363
00:15:35,346 --> 00:15:36,623
I can't. Okay?
364
00:15:37,061 --> 00:15:38,590
I'm stuck in a chair.
365
00:15:38,625 --> 00:15:40,627
Why wouldn't you tell me about Dad?
366
00:15:40,661 --> 00:15:42,387
Especially that dad?
367
00:15:42,422 --> 00:15:44,320
He's so awesome. He's Canadian.
368
00:15:44,355 --> 00:15:45,908
There is nothing awesome
369
00:15:45,943 --> 00:15:48,048
about a nation of average people.
370
00:15:48,049 --> 00:15:50,326
He was Blu Brown. He was Fidget.
371
00:15:50,361 --> 00:15:52,604
He was a selfish shit rat
372
00:15:52,639 --> 00:15:56,194
who took our rent money
to buy his music lessons.
373
00:15:56,229 --> 00:15:59,197
To share his gift of song
with the world.
374
00:15:59,232 --> 00:16:02,062
Have you ever heard a
grown man with no talent
375
00:16:02,097 --> 00:16:04,574
practice saxophone in a trailer?
376
00:16:04,808 --> 00:16:07,914
I wanted to cut my ears off.
377
00:16:14,005 --> 00:16:16,214
Oo, la, la!
378
00:16:16,249 --> 00:16:19,666
Look who's here to cheer you up!
379
00:16:19,700 --> 00:16:23,428
C'est moi, Fidget!
380
00:16:28,016 --> 00:16:30,501
This is your dead son, you idiot.
381
00:16:30,677 --> 00:16:33,128
I was trying to...
382
00:16:33,162 --> 00:16:34,508
What?
383
00:16:36,407 --> 00:16:37,940
I'm Nate.
384
00:16:39,715 --> 00:16:41,239
F-From "Nate's Song."
385
00:16:42,220 --> 00:16:43,595
No.
386
00:16:44,276 --> 00:16:45,883
"Nate's Song's" about me, Nate.
387
00:16:45,884 --> 00:16:48,000
No, it's about... It's about
a little kid named Nate.
388
00:16:48,001 --> 00:16:50,559
Yeah, the hurt little child
inside of me.
389
00:16:50,598 --> 00:16:52,503
S-Still, I'm mean, it's... it's...
390
00:16:53,541 --> 00:16:54,754
I'm your son.
391
00:16:55,954 --> 00:16:57,508
Huh.
392
00:16:57,704 --> 00:16:59,257
That's... That's it?
That's all you got?
393
00:16:59,292 --> 00:17:00,396
I...
394
00:17:00,431 --> 00:17:02,916
'Cause I got s-so much to ask you.
395
00:17:02,951 --> 00:17:05,194
Like, "What's your
real origin story of Fidget?"
396
00:17:05,229 --> 00:17:07,403
Well, no. I mean, yes.
Yes, of course.
397
00:17:07,438 --> 00:17:08,576
I mean, who wouldn't want to know that?
398
00:17:08,577 --> 00:17:09,877
There's so many fan theories out there,
399
00:17:09,924 --> 00:17:11,658
but if you told everyone,
it'd break the Internet...
400
00:17:11,659 --> 00:17:12,659
French...
401
00:17:13,310 --> 00:17:14,321
midget.
402
00:17:14,375 --> 00:17:15,403
Oh.
403
00:17:15,446 --> 00:17:16,550
Mm-mm.
404
00:17:16,585 --> 00:17:18,796
That's offensive.
405
00:17:19,726 --> 00:17:21,486
Why'd you walk out on me?
406
00:17:21,521 --> 00:17:23,316
Oh, boy, I can see
you're a couple elbows short
407
00:17:23,350 --> 00:17:25,115
of Kraft Dinner, but it's okay.
408
00:17:25,116 --> 00:17:27,154
I forgive you for holding me back.
409
00:17:28,054 --> 00:17:29,184
What?
410
00:17:29,218 --> 00:17:31,151
You retarded my gifts
for comedy and song
411
00:17:31,186 --> 00:17:32,187
for seven long years.
412
00:17:32,221 --> 00:17:33,429
No, man, you can't use that word.
413
00:17:33,464 --> 00:17:35,604
Oh, and what is a woman
know about comedy?
414
00:17:35,638 --> 00:17:37,019
Next thing you're gonna tell me is,
415
00:17:37,054 --> 00:17:38,785
I can't do my Fretard character
416
00:17:39,058 --> 00:17:42,369
Bonjour,
je m'appelle Fretard.
417
00:17:42,404 --> 00:17:43,955
- Whoa!
- No, no. Holy shit.
418
00:17:43,956 --> 00:17:45,406
No. You can't do that.
419
00:17:45,407 --> 00:17:47,166
Nate, you understand.
420
00:17:47,478 --> 00:17:50,481
Every transcendent artist
has to make a choice
421
00:17:50,515 --> 00:17:52,298
between what he loves...
422
00:17:53,346 --> 00:17:54,679
and his family.
423
00:17:55,003 --> 00:17:57,431
I love saying I told you so.
424
00:18:00,494 --> 00:18:02,176
I needed a father.
425
00:18:02,302 --> 00:18:04,960
And that is exactly
the selfish behavior
426
00:18:05,082 --> 00:18:06,324
that I'm forgiving you for.
427
00:18:06,359 --> 00:18:07,649
What was I supposed to be?
428
00:18:07,650 --> 00:18:08,844
A father to one,
429
00:18:08,878 --> 00:18:12,123
or Blu Brown, Fidget,
and Fretard to the world.
430
00:18:12,158 --> 00:18:13,745
Hold on... how many people in this room
431
00:18:13,780 --> 00:18:15,368
know who this idiot is?
432
00:18:15,415 --> 00:18:16,658
Okay!
433
00:18:18,087 --> 00:18:19,116
Nate...
434
00:18:19,130 --> 00:18:21,132
it is not my fault that your mother
435
00:18:21,167 --> 00:18:23,686
is half a two-nie shy
of two loonies, eh?
436
00:18:23,721 --> 00:18:26,275
She ought to get off the
Mickey's and the Du Mauriers.
437
00:18:26,310 --> 00:18:27,656
Speak English, please!
438
00:18:27,690 --> 00:18:29,209
Your mother was garage.
439
00:18:29,244 --> 00:18:31,557
She taught you nothing
but anger and hate.
440
00:18:32,281 --> 00:18:34,420
Yeah, you're right.
She did teach me that.
441
00:18:34,801 --> 00:18:37,018
And you know what else she taught me?
442
00:18:37,390 --> 00:18:38,770
How to throw a punch.
443
00:18:38,805 --> 00:18:40,358
Ah, shit.
444
00:18:40,393 --> 00:18:41,532
Oh!
445
00:18:41,566 --> 00:18:43,499
Whoa!
446
00:18:43,534 --> 00:18:45,363
Not as fast as your old man, are you?
447
00:18:45,397 --> 00:18:46,919
- Shit!
- You know, in Tijuana,
448
00:18:46,920 --> 00:18:49,741
it costs 10 pesos to
watch a fidget fight.
449
00:18:49,742 --> 00:18:51,916
Of course, they throw in a hand job.
450
00:18:52,405 --> 00:18:54,786
Come on, you pussy. Get up and fight.
451
00:18:59,395 --> 00:19:00,954
Hit him!
452
00:19:02,311 --> 00:19:04,589
You wouldn't hit your
own father, would you?
453
00:19:07,125 --> 00:19:08,467
"Father."
454
00:19:10,561 --> 00:19:13,426
A father does whatever it takes
to keep his family together.
455
00:19:13,460 --> 00:19:16,064
Even when it comes
to doing crazy shit like this.
456
00:19:17,568 --> 00:19:18,919
You're not my father.
457
00:19:19,570 --> 00:19:21,606
You could be right about that.
458
00:19:21,641 --> 00:19:24,333
I was riding a lot of
dick back in the '70s.
459
00:19:24,368 --> 00:19:26,335
I just picked this idiot to raise you,
460
00:19:26,370 --> 00:19:28,544
'cause he was the biggest
cuck in the world.
461
00:19:32,052 --> 00:19:34,441
Just go back to Canada, you sad clown.
462
00:20:05,185 --> 00:20:06,255
Hey!
463
00:20:06,289 --> 00:20:08,913
Why are you here?
Why aren't you at Dad's funeral?
464
00:20:08,947 --> 00:20:10,155
I was just going there.
465
00:20:10,190 --> 00:20:11,605
Don't bother. He's not dead.
466
00:20:11,640 --> 00:20:14,768
Mother ! What a!
467
00:20:14,769 --> 00:20:15,885
I knew it!
468
00:20:15,920 --> 00:20:17,420
You know, I thought a lot
about what you said,
469
00:20:17,421 --> 00:20:18,612
and I want to go with you.
470
00:20:18,647 --> 00:20:20,338
I like you so much more
than I like our parents.
471
00:20:20,339 --> 00:20:22,167
Do you really want to go to Russia?
472
00:20:22,633 --> 00:20:24,204
They won't even notice I'm gone.
473
00:20:24,238 --> 00:20:25,757
Where are they? Where are they?
474
00:20:25,792 --> 00:20:27,069
- I don't know!
- They were right here!
475
00:20:27,103 --> 00:20:29,485
- I didn't see them, Nate.
- Oh, my God, you lose one,
476
00:20:29,520 --> 00:20:30,954
and now you're telling me
they're both gone.
477
00:20:30,955 --> 00:20:31,832
It's not my fault.
478
00:20:31,867 --> 00:20:33,213
God. What, are they hiding?
479
00:20:33,247 --> 00:20:34,663
Huh? Are you in here?
480
00:20:34,697 --> 00:20:35,767
Huh? Hey, guys!
481
00:20:35,808 --> 00:20:37,050
You under here hiding?
482
00:20:37,079 --> 00:20:38,079
Oh!
483
00:20:41,739 --> 00:20:43,107
- Found 'em.
- Yeah.
484
00:20:43,364 --> 00:20:46,021
This is why you don't take
'em out of the glass case.
485
00:20:46,157 --> 00:20:47,779
Where do you think Jared went?
486
00:20:47,814 --> 00:20:48,918
Who? Ah.
487
00:20:48,953 --> 00:20:50,287
I don't know. He's
around here somewhere.
488
00:20:50,288 --> 00:20:51,507
All right. All right, let's go.
489
00:20:51,542 --> 00:20:53,647
- Take your boxes. Let's go.
- Jared?
490
00:20:53,682 --> 00:20:54,959
Let's go.
34762
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