All language subtitles for The Golden Girls - 07x25 - One Flew Out of the Cuckoos Nest.

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic Download
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek Download
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt Portuguese
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,333 --> 00:00:05,503 ♪ Thank you for being a friend 2 00:00:05,571 --> 00:00:08,506 ♪ Traveled down the road and back again 3 00:00:09,408 --> 00:00:11,176 ♪ Your heart is true 4 00:00:11,243 --> 00:00:15,013 ♪ You're a pal and a confidant 5 00:00:16,449 --> 00:00:19,684 ♪ And if you threw a party 6 00:00:19,752 --> 00:00:23,422 ♪ Invited everyone you knew 7 00:00:24,857 --> 00:00:26,190 ♪ You would see 8 00:00:26,258 --> 00:00:28,660 ♪ The biggest gift would be from me 9 00:00:28,727 --> 00:00:31,595 ♪ And the card attached would say 10 00:00:31,663 --> 00:00:37,335 ♪ Thank you for being a friend ♪ 11 00:01:19,244 --> 00:01:20,946 You know, Rose, I'm really enjoying this. 12 00:01:21,013 --> 00:01:23,481 You and I having a quiet cup of coffee together. 13 00:01:26,385 --> 00:01:28,019 Me, too, Sophia. Because you know... 14 00:01:28,087 --> 00:01:29,053 I said quiet! 15 00:01:33,693 --> 00:01:36,394 Girls, you will never believe what happened to me 16 00:01:36,462 --> 00:01:38,596 at the supermarket yesterday. 17 00:01:38,664 --> 00:01:40,632 Um, you were in a real hurry 18 00:01:40,700 --> 00:01:42,434 and you needed to go through the express lane, 19 00:01:42,501 --> 00:01:44,035 but you had 25 items, 20 00:01:44,102 --> 00:01:45,470 so you went through three times. 21 00:01:45,538 --> 00:01:48,272 Once with ten items, once with nine items, 22 00:01:48,341 --> 00:01:50,475 and once with six items. 23 00:01:52,845 --> 00:01:54,145 No, Rose. 24 00:01:54,212 --> 00:01:56,014 What kind of a moron would do that? 25 00:02:03,856 --> 00:02:06,791 Anyway, I ran into this man at the produce counter, 26 00:02:06,858 --> 00:02:08,726 and he asked me to play tennis with him tonight. 27 00:02:08,728 --> 00:02:11,196 But I forgot that Big Daddy's baby brother, 28 00:02:11,263 --> 00:02:15,166 my dearest and nearest relative, is flying in at 7:00. 29 00:02:15,234 --> 00:02:16,434 This is such a dilemma! 30 00:02:16,502 --> 00:02:18,203 Whatever am I gonna do? 31 00:02:18,270 --> 00:02:21,105 Blanche, it doesn't sound like a dilemma at all. 32 00:02:21,173 --> 00:02:22,340 You know, Rose, you're right. 33 00:02:22,408 --> 00:02:23,675 Family you can see any time. 34 00:02:23,742 --> 00:02:26,544 But a one-night stand only happens one night. 35 00:02:30,616 --> 00:02:35,119 Now I have to get me somebody to dump Uncle Lucas on. 36 00:02:35,187 --> 00:02:37,021 If I could only find me an... 37 00:02:40,392 --> 00:02:44,261 Rose, sweetheart, what are you doing tonight? 38 00:02:44,329 --> 00:02:48,466 Blanche, I can't believe you. 39 00:02:48,500 --> 00:02:50,501 Where do you get your nerve? 40 00:02:50,569 --> 00:02:52,370 Ironically, from my Uncle Lucas. 41 00:02:53,773 --> 00:02:54,773 Sophia. 42 00:02:54,840 --> 00:02:56,574 Me? You come to me? 43 00:02:56,642 --> 00:02:58,476 A matriarch, the head of a family? 44 00:02:58,544 --> 00:03:00,979 To me, Blanche, family is everything. 45 00:03:01,046 --> 00:03:03,481 There is nothing higher than family. 46 00:03:03,548 --> 00:03:06,551 Family I will always, without exception, stand up for. 47 00:03:06,619 --> 00:03:08,386 But, honey, I'm desperate. 48 00:03:08,454 --> 00:03:09,788 Con Dorothy into it. 49 00:03:12,758 --> 00:03:14,759 Conning Dorothy is a thought, 50 00:03:14,826 --> 00:03:17,328 but I don't know if I have it in me to do all the persuading, 51 00:03:17,563 --> 00:03:18,763 all the convincing, and... 52 00:03:18,830 --> 00:03:20,965 Oh, my God, is that Dorothy? 53 00:03:23,101 --> 00:03:26,737 Or Miss Lana Turner emerging from her morning toilette? 54 00:03:30,376 --> 00:03:33,278 It's Lana with a message from Dorothy. 55 00:03:33,345 --> 00:03:35,780 Whatever the favor is, forget it. 56 00:03:37,550 --> 00:03:40,418 Dorothy Zbornak, have I got a man for you. 57 00:03:40,486 --> 00:03:42,086 No, thanks. Had one. 58 00:03:46,458 --> 00:03:47,959 It's my Uncle Lucas. 59 00:03:48,027 --> 00:03:49,593 He's perfect. 60 00:03:49,662 --> 00:03:52,496 All man, all heart, all yours. 61 00:03:52,564 --> 00:03:53,965 Look, Blanche, forget it. 62 00:03:54,033 --> 00:03:55,800 It's not gonna work out. 63 00:03:55,868 --> 00:03:57,535 I mean, he's a little bit country, 64 00:03:57,603 --> 00:04:00,872 and I'm a little bit too smart for this. 65 00:04:00,939 --> 00:04:02,440 You've got Uncle Lucas all wrong. 66 00:04:02,508 --> 00:04:04,375 He's a man of cultivation and high taste. 67 00:04:04,443 --> 00:04:05,976 Oh, yes. 68 00:04:06,044 --> 00:04:09,046 I'm sure he wipes the jug on his sleeve before he passes it. 69 00:04:13,986 --> 00:04:16,021 Oh, Dorothy, now please. 70 00:04:16,088 --> 00:04:17,288 I've told him all about you. 71 00:04:17,356 --> 00:04:19,090 He's dying to meet you. 72 00:04:19,158 --> 00:04:20,625 Oh, right. 73 00:04:20,692 --> 00:04:24,962 He's dying to meet a woman he doesn't even know. 74 00:04:25,030 --> 00:04:28,399 If you ask me, Blanche, your Uncle Lucas is nothing but lonely. 75 00:04:28,467 --> 00:04:31,002 Desperate, pathetic, and lonely. 76 00:04:31,070 --> 00:04:32,136 Right. 77 00:04:32,204 --> 00:04:34,605 Hey, Dorothy, you two might just hit it off. 78 00:04:39,645 --> 00:04:41,713 Uncle Lucas is nothing of the sort. 79 00:04:41,780 --> 00:04:43,414 Dorothy, he is so excited about this date 80 00:04:43,482 --> 00:04:46,117 because I gave him a full description of you. 81 00:04:46,185 --> 00:04:47,986 Well, I can understand that. 82 00:04:48,053 --> 00:04:50,889 I mean, women like me don't grow on trees. 83 00:04:50,956 --> 00:04:53,124 Too bad. We could use the shade. 84 00:05:01,266 --> 00:05:05,469 Oh, Dorothy, it's only one night. 85 00:05:05,537 --> 00:05:06,905 Please? 86 00:05:07,506 --> 00:05:08,606 (SIGHS) 87 00:05:08,674 --> 00:05:11,276 Ma, do you mind if we move SCRABBLE to Sunday? 88 00:05:11,343 --> 00:05:12,677 I'll live. 89 00:05:12,745 --> 00:05:14,879 There's no need to be sarcastic. 90 00:05:14,947 --> 00:05:17,448 No, I mean it. I'm finally going to go out and live. 91 00:05:37,169 --> 00:05:38,603 So... 92 00:05:42,574 --> 00:05:44,175 You're a English teacher? 93 00:05:45,544 --> 00:05:46,544 Oh. 94 00:05:49,215 --> 00:05:50,315 Yes, yes, I am. 95 00:05:50,382 --> 00:05:51,549 (CLEARING THROAT) 96 00:05:52,851 --> 00:05:54,285 You, uh, 97 00:05:55,187 --> 00:05:56,921 own seven hardware stores. 98 00:05:56,988 --> 00:05:58,556 Yeah, yep, I do. 99 00:06:02,227 --> 00:06:04,295 So... 100 00:06:08,366 --> 00:06:09,801 Would you like some more beer? 101 00:06:09,868 --> 00:06:11,736 Oh, no, thanks. I'm fine. 102 00:06:12,538 --> 00:06:14,238 What am I saying? 103 00:06:14,273 --> 00:06:15,172 I am not fine. 104 00:06:15,240 --> 00:06:17,809 Look, Lucas, this isn't your fault. 105 00:06:17,877 --> 00:06:21,045 I do not go out on blind dates. 106 00:06:21,113 --> 00:06:25,850 I mean, this is as silly as I have felt in a long, long time. 107 00:06:34,359 --> 00:06:35,693 Until now. 108 00:06:38,897 --> 00:06:40,731 Wait till he brings the pants. 109 00:06:42,835 --> 00:06:44,001 You're joking. 110 00:06:44,936 --> 00:06:46,370 Somebody's got to. 111 00:06:48,406 --> 00:06:50,942 Look, Lucas, can I be 100% frank? 112 00:06:51,010 --> 00:06:52,510 We're both adults. 113 00:07:02,087 --> 00:07:05,189 Now, look, I--I only came as a favor to Blanche. 114 00:07:05,257 --> 00:07:08,693 When she told me how badly you were dying to meet me... 115 00:07:08,760 --> 00:07:12,496 Wait a minute. Blanche told you I was dying to meet you? 116 00:07:12,564 --> 00:07:14,699 The only reason I showed up here is 'cause she told me 117 00:07:14,766 --> 00:07:17,902 you were a lonely, single gal who was dying to meet me. 118 00:07:17,936 --> 00:07:18,703 She didn't. 119 00:07:18,771 --> 00:07:20,237 Yes, she did. 120 00:07:22,607 --> 00:07:24,242 So, what do you think this means? 121 00:07:24,309 --> 00:07:25,543 Well, I think it means 122 00:07:25,610 --> 00:07:28,846 that she is shacked up in some cheap motel... 123 00:07:29,815 --> 00:07:32,250 I mean... She has a date. 124 00:07:39,224 --> 00:07:42,126 Oh, Lucas, what a relief! What a relief. 125 00:07:42,193 --> 00:07:44,262 So, you didn't even want to go out with me? 126 00:07:44,329 --> 00:07:45,596 Not a chance! 127 00:07:49,567 --> 00:07:52,103 And you never wanted to go out with me? 128 00:07:52,170 --> 00:07:53,338 Come on, get serious. 129 00:07:56,241 --> 00:07:59,377 You realize, of course, that we can't let Blanche get away with this. 130 00:07:59,445 --> 00:08:00,811 She must be punished. 131 00:08:00,879 --> 00:08:02,180 Oh, no argument here. 132 00:08:03,215 --> 00:08:04,849 What do you have in mind? 133 00:08:04,916 --> 00:08:06,484 Well, she jerked us around. 134 00:08:06,552 --> 00:08:08,085 Let's jerk her right back. 135 00:08:08,153 --> 00:08:10,321 Let's see. 136 00:08:10,389 --> 00:08:14,459 Why don't we make her think that you and I are gonna get married. 137 00:08:14,526 --> 00:08:17,361 Married? You and I? 138 00:08:18,997 --> 00:08:21,865 I have to admit, there's a certain genius to it. 139 00:08:21,933 --> 00:08:23,300 Are you kidding? 140 00:08:23,368 --> 00:08:27,104 A Brooklyn Italian living in Hollingsworth Manor? 141 00:08:27,172 --> 00:08:29,540 But wait a minute. How did you know that I was a Brooklyn Italian? 142 00:08:29,608 --> 00:08:31,943 Oh, that's how Blanche refers to you in her letters. 143 00:08:33,612 --> 00:08:35,646 Yes, she must be punished. 144 00:08:39,451 --> 00:08:41,819 Dorothy, I believe this is the beginning 145 00:08:41,887 --> 00:08:44,288 of a long and beautiful friendship. 146 00:08:44,890 --> 00:08:46,290 To revenge! 147 00:08:53,298 --> 00:08:54,999 Oh, look at this one. 148 00:08:55,066 --> 00:08:56,501 Scrunched-up little frown. 149 00:08:56,568 --> 00:08:58,235 Kind of reminds me of my mother. 150 00:09:10,515 --> 00:09:13,084 ♪ Good morning 151 00:09:14,286 --> 00:09:15,553 Good morning, Dorothy. 152 00:09:15,620 --> 00:09:16,987 How was your date? Did you have a good time? 153 00:09:17,056 --> 00:09:19,290 Oh, Blanche, I can't thank you enough. 154 00:09:19,358 --> 00:09:21,426 I had a fantastic time. 155 00:09:21,493 --> 00:09:23,828 Well, now, didn't I tell you? 156 00:09:23,895 --> 00:09:25,796 Go on now. Don't leave anything out. 157 00:09:25,864 --> 00:09:28,632 Well, he was so thoughtful 158 00:09:28,700 --> 00:09:30,935 and considerate, affectionate... 159 00:09:30,970 --> 00:09:32,202 With whom? 160 00:09:33,438 --> 00:09:35,873 With me. 161 00:09:35,940 --> 00:09:38,676 No, I had the time of my life last night. 162 00:09:38,744 --> 00:09:40,444 And even if he never calls again, 163 00:09:40,512 --> 00:09:42,946 at least we'll always have 164 00:09:43,014 --> 00:09:45,082 Don's Crab House. 165 00:09:46,217 --> 00:09:48,018 (DOORBELL RINGING) 166 00:09:48,086 --> 00:09:51,188 Ingrid Bergman had Paris, my pussycat has crabs. 167 00:10:02,500 --> 00:10:03,935 Oh, girls, 168 00:10:04,002 --> 00:10:05,770 would you look at what Uncle Lucas 169 00:10:05,837 --> 00:10:07,838 has brought his favorite niece? 170 00:10:10,241 --> 00:10:13,144 Dorothy, I didn't mean to intrude without calling, 171 00:10:13,211 --> 00:10:15,246 but I didn't sleep last night for thinking about you. 172 00:10:15,313 --> 00:10:17,248 Oh, no intrusion. 173 00:10:17,315 --> 00:10:19,651 I was afraid that I'd never see you again. 174 00:10:19,718 --> 00:10:21,552 Never see me again? 175 00:10:21,620 --> 00:10:24,022 I'd buy a julep for the ghost of General Grant 176 00:10:24,089 --> 00:10:26,190 before I'd let that happen. 177 00:10:26,258 --> 00:10:28,692 Oh, I was hoping you'd say that. 178 00:10:31,597 --> 00:10:32,930 Dorothy... 179 00:10:34,600 --> 00:10:36,934 Dorothy, I know this sounds impetuous. 180 00:10:37,002 --> 00:10:38,168 I know we just met, 181 00:10:38,236 --> 00:10:39,604 but I'm at that stage in my life 182 00:10:39,671 --> 00:10:41,105 where I can't afford to waste time. 183 00:10:41,172 --> 00:10:44,208 Dorothy, I love you 184 00:10:44,876 --> 00:10:46,677 and I want to know. 185 00:10:46,745 --> 00:10:48,646 Will ya... Will ya... 186 00:10:48,714 --> 00:10:50,814 I think he's gonna ask her out again. 187 00:10:57,055 --> 00:10:58,890 Dorothy... 188 00:10:58,957 --> 00:11:00,357 (STUTTERING) 189 00:11:05,297 --> 00:11:06,563 Yes? 190 00:11:06,631 --> 00:11:08,666 Dorothy, will you marry me? 191 00:11:09,201 --> 00:11:11,169 Oh, Lucas! 192 00:11:11,236 --> 00:11:13,204 Oh, yes. Oh! 193 00:11:13,271 --> 00:11:16,641 DOROTHY: Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes! 194 00:11:16,708 --> 00:11:20,811 No, no, no, no, no! 195 00:11:21,313 --> 00:11:23,014 No! 196 00:11:23,081 --> 00:11:26,017 What in hell is wrong with you two? 197 00:11:26,919 --> 00:11:28,385 But you just... You just... 198 00:11:28,453 --> 00:11:30,021 I don't know what to say! 199 00:11:30,088 --> 00:11:33,691 Well, whatever you decide, make sure you start with "Aunt Dorothy." 200 00:11:40,832 --> 00:11:44,135 Wait! Wait a minute, wait! 201 00:11:44,202 --> 00:11:46,403 What in hell's the matter with you two? You just met! 202 00:11:46,471 --> 00:11:48,072 You don't even know each other! 203 00:11:48,140 --> 00:11:51,876 This is how the Eskimos do it, Dorothy. 204 00:11:51,943 --> 00:11:54,812 Listen, whatever it is you might think you're feeling, 205 00:11:54,880 --> 00:11:57,014 it's just your hormones playing tricks on you. 206 00:11:57,082 --> 00:11:58,583 The ears now! 207 00:12:02,120 --> 00:12:03,588 BLANCHE: Oh! 208 00:12:04,656 --> 00:12:07,224 My God! What have I done? 209 00:12:07,292 --> 00:12:08,692 Oh, I think it's romantic. 210 00:12:08,694 --> 00:12:11,562 It's like something out of a '40s movie. 211 00:12:11,663 --> 00:12:14,332 Strong, handsome, daring, 212 00:12:14,399 --> 00:12:16,133 and now she's got a man. 213 00:12:20,071 --> 00:12:22,706 Look, Lucas, you cannot do this! 214 00:12:22,774 --> 00:12:24,542 What do you two have in common? 215 00:12:24,609 --> 00:12:26,677 I'll show you what we have in common. 216 00:12:29,480 --> 00:12:30,681 (EXCLAIMING) 217 00:12:33,185 --> 00:12:35,453 Oh, Sophia, for God's sake, speak up! 218 00:12:35,520 --> 00:12:37,221 Don't let her run off with the first man, 219 00:12:37,289 --> 00:12:39,290 and I do mean the first, that comes along. 220 00:12:39,358 --> 00:12:41,359 All right, all right. 221 00:12:41,426 --> 00:12:44,328 Now, listen, Johnny Reb. 222 00:12:44,396 --> 00:12:46,397 You marched through my front door a total stranger 223 00:12:46,465 --> 00:12:47,965 and asked for my daughter's hand in marriage 224 00:12:48,033 --> 00:12:49,867 without telling me two words about yourself. 225 00:12:49,935 --> 00:12:50,868 What do you wanna know? 226 00:12:50,936 --> 00:12:52,269 Do you have any money? 227 00:12:52,337 --> 00:12:53,971 Quite a bit, ma'am. 228 00:12:54,039 --> 00:12:55,372 Your mother, is she still alive? 229 00:12:55,440 --> 00:12:56,607 No. 230 00:12:56,675 --> 00:12:58,075 She is now. 231 00:13:01,345 --> 00:13:03,981 Blanche! Oh, honey. Oh, Blanche. 232 00:13:13,058 --> 00:13:15,393 (SIGHS) Well, it's been a long day. 233 00:13:15,460 --> 00:13:18,596 Especially for you, Blanche. 234 00:13:18,664 --> 00:13:21,666 I'm really enjoying this, sitting here, 235 00:13:21,733 --> 00:13:24,535 just the three of us, having quiet cup of coffee together. 236 00:13:24,603 --> 00:13:26,103 Me, too. Because we don't... 237 00:13:26,171 --> 00:13:27,337 I said coffee! 238 00:13:35,981 --> 00:13:37,648 So, how does it feel? 239 00:13:39,551 --> 00:13:41,118 Shame. I feel shame. 240 00:13:42,720 --> 00:13:45,789 I can't believe the two of you carrying on 241 00:13:45,858 --> 00:13:48,525 when another woman is about to steal my destiny. 242 00:13:48,593 --> 00:13:49,961 I always thought it would be me 243 00:13:50,028 --> 00:13:53,197 closing out my last years in Hollingsworth Manor. 244 00:13:53,265 --> 00:13:56,267 Look, if anybody has a right to complain, it's me. 245 00:13:56,334 --> 00:13:59,069 When Dorothy gets married, think about this, 246 00:13:59,137 --> 00:14:01,171 she'll be a Hollingsworth. 247 00:14:01,239 --> 00:14:03,540 Lucas and Blanche are already Hollingsworth. 248 00:14:03,608 --> 00:14:07,011 Sophia will be a Hollingsworth-in-law. 249 00:14:07,078 --> 00:14:08,913 Everybody will be related but me. 250 00:14:08,980 --> 00:14:11,081 Now, that's what I call family planning. 251 00:14:13,618 --> 00:14:15,419 It's not funny. 252 00:14:15,486 --> 00:14:18,855 Did anybody ever stop to think how all this makes me feel? 253 00:14:18,923 --> 00:14:21,692 Well, all right, Rose, how does it make you feel? 254 00:14:21,759 --> 00:14:24,262 To be honest, a little bit like Mr. Snuffles. 255 00:14:25,930 --> 00:14:27,097 Blanche, would you mind? 256 00:14:27,165 --> 00:14:28,965 You're closer to the knife drawer. 257 00:14:32,570 --> 00:14:34,171 One summer, when I was a little girl, 258 00:14:34,239 --> 00:14:37,942 Henrietta, our pig, gave birth to a litter of six. 259 00:14:38,010 --> 00:14:39,276 And the next day, 260 00:14:39,344 --> 00:14:41,611 my father won the annual St. Olaf 261 00:14:41,679 --> 00:14:44,048 watermelon-seed spitting contest 262 00:14:45,216 --> 00:14:47,518 and he brought home a prize piglet. 263 00:14:47,585 --> 00:14:48,685 Mr. Snuffles. 264 00:14:48,753 --> 00:14:49,921 Exactly. 265 00:14:49,988 --> 00:14:51,222 You're listening? 266 00:14:53,625 --> 00:14:55,993 Anyway, I loved Mr. Snuffles. 267 00:14:56,061 --> 00:14:57,861 I watched him grow. 268 00:14:57,929 --> 00:14:59,497 I suffered with him. 269 00:14:59,564 --> 00:15:02,733 The way Henrietta's brood made him feel like such an outsider. 270 00:15:04,736 --> 00:15:06,236 It was an awful thing to see. 271 00:15:06,304 --> 00:15:09,773 Hey, hearing it is no walk in the park. 272 00:15:09,841 --> 00:15:13,677 Mr. Snuffles never did get over his feeling of alienation. 273 00:15:13,744 --> 00:15:15,745 He grew fat and despondent. 274 00:15:15,813 --> 00:15:17,347 The last report we had on him, 275 00:15:17,415 --> 00:15:19,649 he stowed away in a truck to Chicago 276 00:15:19,717 --> 00:15:23,053 and tearfully surrendered himself to the Oscar Mayer people. 277 00:15:24,855 --> 00:15:27,625 I don't want that to happen to me, Sophia. 278 00:15:27,692 --> 00:15:29,426 We can't promise you that, Rose. 279 00:15:31,563 --> 00:15:33,063 I've got to do something. 280 00:15:33,131 --> 00:15:36,934 I can't just sit idly back and let this wedding take place. 281 00:15:37,001 --> 00:15:43,006 Oh, how in the name of Mother Dixie can a woman named Zbornak 282 00:15:43,074 --> 00:15:46,777 appreciate the majesty of Hollingsworth Manor? 283 00:15:46,844 --> 00:15:48,879 Sitting on the veranda with her mother. 284 00:15:51,916 --> 00:15:55,519 And what makes you think the newlyweds are gonna welcome you on the premises? 285 00:15:55,587 --> 00:15:56,753 What are you saying? 286 00:15:56,821 --> 00:15:59,723 Uncle Lucas may not be as fond of nasty, hateful, 287 00:15:59,791 --> 00:16:02,660 life-scarring barbs as the rest of us are. 288 00:16:03,829 --> 00:16:05,162 And your point is? 289 00:16:07,265 --> 00:16:10,200 Dorothy and Lucas may not want you around. 290 00:16:10,268 --> 00:16:12,236 Say, there's a fly in the Metamucil. 291 00:16:16,474 --> 00:16:19,243 Well, Dorothy, it was very sweet of you to join me tonight. 292 00:16:19,310 --> 00:16:22,312 Am I safe in assuming that your first hardware convention 293 00:16:22,380 --> 00:16:24,281 is also your last? 294 00:16:24,348 --> 00:16:27,184 Does a roofing nail have a flat head? 295 00:16:27,252 --> 00:16:29,219 Oh, you were actually paying attention. 296 00:16:29,287 --> 00:16:31,321 Look, Lucas, no offense, 297 00:16:31,389 --> 00:16:34,090 but hardware doesn't sound terribly romantic. 298 00:16:34,159 --> 00:16:36,092 So when you come by tomorrow, 299 00:16:36,161 --> 00:16:40,063 why don't you tell Blanche that you took me to hear the Emerson String Quartet? 300 00:16:40,131 --> 00:16:41,832 I love it. 301 00:16:41,899 --> 00:16:43,099 Do you think they might buy 302 00:16:43,167 --> 00:16:45,870 that afterwards we frolicked in the ocean? 303 00:16:45,937 --> 00:16:48,572 Oh, gosh, I haven't frolicked since... 304 00:16:49,274 --> 00:16:50,507 Uh, well, since... 305 00:16:50,575 --> 00:16:53,677 Since the day I dropped my mother off at Shady Pines. 306 00:16:55,647 --> 00:16:58,415 Coincidentally, that was the last time I did a cartwheel. 307 00:17:00,652 --> 00:17:01,819 It was a good day. 308 00:17:03,955 --> 00:17:06,790 Of course, we could tell them 309 00:17:06,858 --> 00:17:10,994 that we went up to lovers' lane and that we necked. 310 00:17:11,062 --> 00:17:12,596 Oh, well, then I'd... 311 00:17:12,663 --> 00:17:15,966 I'd have to smear my lipstick, you know, for effect. 312 00:17:17,301 --> 00:17:18,769 Here, let me. 313 00:17:33,050 --> 00:17:35,085 I've been thinking about your suggestion, Dorothy. 314 00:17:35,153 --> 00:17:36,186 You're absolutely right. 315 00:17:36,254 --> 00:17:37,621 The columns must come down. 316 00:17:37,688 --> 00:17:40,791 The new Hollingsworth Manor should be red brick. 317 00:17:40,858 --> 00:17:41,959 Cape Cod. 318 00:17:42,027 --> 00:17:43,927 (EXCLAIMING) 319 00:17:43,995 --> 00:17:46,096 Blanche, I didn't know you were home. 320 00:17:46,164 --> 00:17:48,466 Haven't seen too much of you this trip, sugar plum. 321 00:17:48,533 --> 00:17:51,201 That's because you've been too busy Yankee Doodlin'. 322 00:17:52,904 --> 00:17:55,205 Blanche, I'm sure you don't mean that. 323 00:17:55,273 --> 00:17:56,840 You'll feel differently when you come 324 00:17:56,908 --> 00:17:58,341 to the hoe-down we're throwing 325 00:17:58,409 --> 00:18:01,344 on the anniversary of Lee's surrender. 326 00:18:01,946 --> 00:18:03,613 (EXCLAIMS) 327 00:18:17,261 --> 00:18:19,563 Well, if it ain't the kinfolk! 328 00:18:21,966 --> 00:18:23,968 Ma, where did you get that outfit? 329 00:18:24,035 --> 00:18:25,001 I bought it. 330 00:18:25,069 --> 00:18:27,571 Figured five Halloweens, it'll pay for itself. 331 00:18:28,940 --> 00:18:31,475 Hope you brought your appetite, young fella. 332 00:18:31,543 --> 00:18:35,079 I know you're gonna be pleased with the dinner. 333 00:18:35,146 --> 00:18:38,415 Corn pone, succotash, collard greens. 334 00:18:38,483 --> 00:18:40,183 And them's just the appetizers! 335 00:18:42,587 --> 00:18:44,087 Sorry to interrupt, everybody, 336 00:18:44,155 --> 00:18:46,022 but I have an announcement to make. 337 00:18:47,591 --> 00:18:48,858 A mess o' something. 338 00:18:48,927 --> 00:18:50,961 I'll skeer us up a mess o' something. 339 00:18:59,237 --> 00:19:02,640 Anyway, I've be doing a lot of soul searching, 340 00:19:02,707 --> 00:19:06,677 and as long as the family isn't gonna be together anymore, 341 00:19:06,745 --> 00:19:09,112 it's just not gonna be the same. 342 00:19:09,180 --> 00:19:13,784 So I've decided I'm gonna move in with my daughter, Kirsten. 343 00:19:13,851 --> 00:19:14,785 I think that's best. 344 00:19:14,853 --> 00:19:17,020 Leave? You are going to leave? 345 00:19:17,088 --> 00:19:19,122 Rose, you can't do that! 346 00:19:19,190 --> 00:19:22,426 (EXCLAIMING) Well, you see? Do ya? 347 00:19:22,494 --> 00:19:24,294 Because of your $1.98 romance, 348 00:19:24,362 --> 00:19:26,363 you are destroying the family! 349 00:19:26,431 --> 00:19:28,064 You are destroying the family, 350 00:19:28,132 --> 00:19:30,634 and I'm gonna be all alone! 351 00:19:30,702 --> 00:19:33,970 I'll make her a cup of tea and calm her down. 352 00:19:34,038 --> 00:19:35,772 I better go talk to her. Dorothy, wait. 353 00:19:35,840 --> 00:19:37,240 No, this has gone too far. 354 00:19:37,308 --> 00:19:40,844 I realize that, but you just can't flat out tell her. 355 00:19:40,912 --> 00:19:43,380 If she realizes this is a joke, you know Blanche. 356 00:19:43,448 --> 00:19:44,715 It'd do more harm than good. 357 00:19:44,782 --> 00:19:46,183 Well, then what do I say? 358 00:19:46,251 --> 00:19:47,851 I think I know something that could work. 359 00:19:47,919 --> 00:19:49,987 We could break up right in front of her. 360 00:19:50,054 --> 00:19:51,922 You mean, just like that? Sure. 361 00:19:51,990 --> 00:19:56,259 Sometime between the succotash and the mess o' something. 362 00:19:56,327 --> 00:19:59,129 We just blow up, and then I storm out of here, and that's that. 363 00:19:59,197 --> 00:20:01,932 And I stay behind and call off the wedding. 364 00:20:01,999 --> 00:20:03,267 It'd be perfect. 365 00:20:03,335 --> 00:20:05,169 Uh, Dorothy, 366 00:20:05,236 --> 00:20:08,572 it's not going to be easy to fake a fight with you. 367 00:20:08,873 --> 00:20:10,240 What? 368 00:20:10,308 --> 00:20:13,176 Now, I want you to promise that you're not gonna laugh, 369 00:20:13,244 --> 00:20:16,447 but these past three days have been the lightest 370 00:20:16,514 --> 00:20:20,184 and the brightest that I've known since Edna passed. 371 00:20:20,251 --> 00:20:22,519 And I just want to thank you. 372 00:20:22,587 --> 00:20:25,589 Well, I'm-- I'm glad. 373 00:20:25,657 --> 00:20:27,825 But, to tell you the truth, I didn't even notice. 374 00:20:27,892 --> 00:20:29,392 (LAUGHS) I mean, I've been... 375 00:20:29,461 --> 00:20:31,929 I've been so busy smiling myself. 376 00:20:31,996 --> 00:20:33,997 I'm-- I'm glad, too. I... 377 00:20:34,065 --> 00:20:35,199 Strange, isn't it? 378 00:20:35,266 --> 00:20:38,034 It just seems like we've known each other 379 00:20:38,103 --> 00:20:39,836 for a lot more than three days. 380 00:20:42,240 --> 00:20:43,740 (RINGING) 381 00:20:47,879 --> 00:20:49,013 Cocktails! 382 00:20:51,516 --> 00:20:54,984 Oh, how classy. A tribute to Hop Sing. 383 00:20:56,721 --> 00:20:59,523 Here you go, Sophia. 384 00:20:59,591 --> 00:21:03,093 Rose, before you pass these out, darlin', I want to say something. 385 00:21:03,160 --> 00:21:05,662 Oh, Blanche, don't say anything you're gonna regret. 386 00:21:05,730 --> 00:21:07,464 Leave me alone. I know what I'm doin'. 387 00:21:07,532 --> 00:21:09,199 Would you two please sit down? 388 00:21:13,271 --> 00:21:15,338 A terrible mistake has been made here, 389 00:21:15,406 --> 00:21:16,907 and I'm the one who made it. 390 00:21:18,009 --> 00:21:21,678 See, I thought you all would go out once, 391 00:21:21,745 --> 00:21:23,113 and--and eat a boring dinner, 392 00:21:23,181 --> 00:21:24,647 and tell each other a couple of boring stories, 393 00:21:24,715 --> 00:21:26,316 and then get back to your boring lives. 394 00:21:26,384 --> 00:21:28,185 No harm done. 395 00:21:28,252 --> 00:21:30,787 But somehow, some way, 396 00:21:30,854 --> 00:21:33,557 you seem to have taken a liking to each other. 397 00:21:33,624 --> 00:21:37,294 You believe you were meant to be together. 398 00:21:37,361 --> 00:21:39,762 Well, let me tell you what I see. 399 00:21:40,264 --> 00:21:41,531 I see... 400 00:21:43,367 --> 00:21:45,668 I see a miracle. 401 00:21:47,472 --> 00:21:50,206 I see two people who've been afraid to reach out, 402 00:21:50,274 --> 00:21:53,843 afraid to take that first step toward real feeling. 403 00:21:53,912 --> 00:21:57,981 Two people gazing into each other's eyes 404 00:21:58,049 --> 00:21:59,716 and--and sharing each other's concerns, 405 00:21:59,784 --> 00:22:01,584 caring about each other's happiness. 406 00:22:02,987 --> 00:22:05,122 I see two people in love. 407 00:22:07,191 --> 00:22:09,526 I was tryin' to drive a wedge between you 408 00:22:09,593 --> 00:22:12,863 because I didn't want to be left alone, 409 00:22:12,931 --> 00:22:14,898 but I'm ashamed of that now. 410 00:22:14,966 --> 00:22:18,267 So I'm not going to oppose this union. 411 00:22:18,335 --> 00:22:19,703 I'm gonna celebrate it. 412 00:22:19,770 --> 00:22:21,104 I'm gonna lift a glass to it. 413 00:22:21,171 --> 00:22:23,373 I'm gonna ask God to bless it. 414 00:22:25,309 --> 00:22:29,379 Lucas, Dorothy, from the bottom of my heart, 415 00:22:30,448 --> 00:22:31,882 congratulations. 416 00:22:32,584 --> 00:22:34,884 I love you both. 417 00:22:34,952 --> 00:22:38,555 Uh, Blanche, there is something I must say. 418 00:22:39,890 --> 00:22:41,090 Dorothy... 419 00:22:43,961 --> 00:22:45,228 Dorothy, 420 00:22:47,298 --> 00:22:49,666 will you marry me for real? 421 00:22:53,938 --> 00:22:55,205 For real? 422 00:22:56,307 --> 00:22:57,574 For real. 423 00:22:59,243 --> 00:23:03,346 Oh, yes, Lucas. Oh, yes, oh, yes. 424 00:23:11,455 --> 00:23:13,957 Is it my stroke or did they do this already? 425 00:23:26,403 --> 00:23:28,205 Great. Nobody's home yet. 426 00:23:28,272 --> 00:23:29,840 I can't believe it. 427 00:23:29,907 --> 00:23:31,607 This is the first time since we got engaged 428 00:23:31,675 --> 00:23:33,609 that we've had a moment alone in this house. 429 00:23:33,677 --> 00:23:35,511 Well, let's not waste it. 430 00:23:43,354 --> 00:23:45,321 I just love watching you two kids kiss. 431 00:23:45,389 --> 00:23:47,690 It's so beautiful to see. 432 00:23:47,758 --> 00:23:50,359 He loves you, pussycat. He loves you. 433 00:23:50,427 --> 00:23:52,128 Listen, Luke, I want you to know 434 00:23:52,196 --> 00:23:53,796 I don't feel like I'm losing a daughter. 435 00:23:53,865 --> 00:23:56,166 I feel like I'm gaining a sucker... Son! 436 00:23:58,102 --> 00:24:00,304 Son. Where did that come from? 437 00:24:00,371 --> 00:24:02,605 Oh, the mind, huh? 438 00:24:02,673 --> 00:24:04,107 I can't wait to be your son. 439 00:24:04,175 --> 00:24:06,743 Oh, you are delightful. Such a gem. 440 00:24:06,811 --> 00:24:08,812 Here. Get yourself a girl tonight. 441 00:24:11,081 --> 00:24:12,615 We'll understand. 442 00:24:13,618 --> 00:24:15,419 Ma, please. 443 00:24:15,486 --> 00:24:17,654 We're trying to have a private moment. 444 00:24:17,722 --> 00:24:19,156 Private, please. What's private? 445 00:24:19,223 --> 00:24:20,590 I diapered you. 446 00:24:20,658 --> 00:24:22,192 Yeah, but you didn't diaper Lucas. 447 00:24:22,259 --> 00:24:23,560 I'd like to. 448 00:24:25,996 --> 00:24:28,932 Ah, listen to me, I'm as giddy as a 60-year-old. 449 00:24:30,868 --> 00:24:32,135 Honey, I'm glad you're okay 450 00:24:32,203 --> 00:24:34,271 with Ma's coming to live with us in Atlanta. 451 00:24:34,338 --> 00:24:36,539 I really think she'd be a little lost without me. 452 00:24:36,607 --> 00:24:38,474 It's my pleasure, Dorothy. 453 00:24:38,542 --> 00:24:40,343 I can see how close the two of you are. 454 00:24:40,411 --> 00:24:42,445 And how close you are to Rose and Blanche. 455 00:24:42,513 --> 00:24:44,881 We've all learned a lot from each other. 456 00:24:44,949 --> 00:24:47,150 I mean, Ma taught me life does not end 457 00:24:47,218 --> 00:24:49,520 because you've reached a certain age. 458 00:24:49,587 --> 00:24:51,254 And I've become much more comfortable 459 00:24:51,322 --> 00:24:53,957 with my sexuality because of Blanche. 460 00:24:54,024 --> 00:24:55,659 And Rose has taught me... 461 00:24:59,663 --> 00:25:02,199 Rose has taught me... 462 00:25:02,233 --> 00:25:03,433 It's not important. 463 00:25:03,500 --> 00:25:04,968 No, wait, no, I can do this. 464 00:25:05,036 --> 00:25:07,504 Rose has taught me... 465 00:25:07,571 --> 00:25:10,006 Let it go. I need some time with this. 466 00:25:11,508 --> 00:25:15,779 Anyway, because of them I feel that I'm ready to love you. 467 00:25:15,847 --> 00:25:17,480 A square knot! 468 00:25:17,548 --> 00:25:21,051 Rose taught me how to tie a square knot. 469 00:25:21,119 --> 00:25:24,288 Well, I am glad somebody taught you how to do this. 470 00:25:25,623 --> 00:25:27,057 (CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING) 471 00:25:28,393 --> 00:25:30,327 I just love to watch you two kiss. 472 00:25:30,395 --> 00:25:32,295 The last picture was a little blurry. 473 00:25:32,363 --> 00:25:33,696 It was hard to tell who was who. 474 00:25:33,764 --> 00:25:35,165 No offense, pussycat. 475 00:25:36,134 --> 00:25:37,334 Pussycat, huh? 476 00:25:37,402 --> 00:25:39,269 Nobody's called me that since the Navy. 477 00:25:44,675 --> 00:25:46,443 You know, I think he's just nuts enough 478 00:25:46,510 --> 00:25:49,379 to actually turn up at the wedding tomorrow. 479 00:25:49,447 --> 00:25:52,315 You're a furry little gnome, and we feed you too much. 480 00:25:57,088 --> 00:26:00,791 Oh, Dorothy, good, you're here. Listen... 481 00:26:00,858 --> 00:26:04,661 Um, well, this is going to be our final night together here, 482 00:26:04,729 --> 00:26:08,965 and, well, we thought it might be our last chance to say... 483 00:26:09,233 --> 00:26:10,366 No, don't say it. 484 00:26:10,434 --> 00:26:12,702 Don't say goodbye. This is not goodbye. 485 00:26:12,770 --> 00:26:15,105 I don't want to turn this into a sad thing. 486 00:26:15,172 --> 00:26:16,473 Me, neither. 487 00:26:16,540 --> 00:26:19,409 I promised myself I wasn't going to cry. 488 00:26:19,477 --> 00:26:21,478 I'm going to laugh instead. 489 00:26:21,545 --> 00:26:23,080 (FEIGNING LAUGH) 490 00:26:25,283 --> 00:26:28,018 Well, now to be honest, it is a little difficult for me. 491 00:26:28,085 --> 00:26:30,286 I mean, everything happened so fast. 492 00:26:30,354 --> 00:26:34,023 My God, you and Lucas probably haven't even slept together yet. 493 00:26:35,860 --> 00:26:37,660 Blanche, don't be ridiculous. 494 00:26:37,729 --> 00:26:40,030 I mean, I know he's your uncle, 495 00:26:40,098 --> 00:26:43,266 but you have to realize that we're both adults 496 00:26:43,334 --> 00:26:46,970 and capable of a caring, warm relationship. 497 00:26:47,038 --> 00:26:48,505 How was the sex? 498 00:26:50,007 --> 00:26:52,208 So good we named it! 499 00:27:03,954 --> 00:27:05,688 I thought I might find you out here. 500 00:27:06,256 --> 00:27:07,390 You okay? 501 00:27:07,458 --> 00:27:08,958 I couldn't sleep. 502 00:27:09,693 --> 00:27:11,795 (SIGHING) I'm just... 503 00:27:11,862 --> 00:27:14,330 I'm just so mad at Dorothy. 504 00:27:14,398 --> 00:27:18,568 I mean, she won't let us say goodbye, and I'm sorry, but I need to. 505 00:27:18,636 --> 00:27:20,603 Especially to you. 506 00:27:20,671 --> 00:27:23,006 I know, Rose, but you know what? 507 00:27:23,073 --> 00:27:25,341 Dorothy's not here right now. 508 00:27:26,244 --> 00:27:28,478 Yeah. And if she was, 509 00:27:28,545 --> 00:27:30,180 what's the worst thing she could do to us? 510 00:27:30,281 --> 00:27:33,083 Right. Can she intimidate us? 511 00:27:33,117 --> 00:27:34,785 Could she physically harm us? 512 00:27:34,852 --> 00:27:36,686 Can she make life miserable for us? 513 00:27:36,754 --> 00:27:38,555 Blanche, she can do all those things. 514 00:27:38,623 --> 00:27:40,624 I know it. I know it. 515 00:27:40,791 --> 00:27:43,727 But, oh, I'm gonna miss you, honey. 516 00:27:43,794 --> 00:27:46,530 Oh, I'm gonna miss you. Oh, I'm gonna miss you. 517 00:27:50,201 --> 00:27:52,602 I just love to watch you... Whoa! 518 00:28:01,412 --> 00:28:02,846 What is this? Wimbledon? 519 00:28:07,451 --> 00:28:09,752 Oh, Sophia, stop that. 520 00:28:09,820 --> 00:28:13,289 Oh, Sophia, I'm glad you're here. 521 00:28:15,626 --> 00:28:18,995 You know I'm moving in with Kirsten tomorrow, 522 00:28:19,062 --> 00:28:23,333 and in a way, I'm gonna be the Sophia of that household. 523 00:28:23,367 --> 00:28:27,270 And... Well, how do you do it? 524 00:28:27,338 --> 00:28:29,673 So, you wanna be a Sophia? 525 00:28:29,740 --> 00:28:33,109 Okay. Lesson one. Criticism. 526 00:28:33,176 --> 00:28:36,012 I think it makes adult children stronger. 527 00:28:36,080 --> 00:28:39,382 It also makes them self-conscious, which I think is funnier. 528 00:28:41,885 --> 00:28:44,254 Okay, you're talking to your loved ones, 529 00:28:44,321 --> 00:28:45,889 complete this sentence. 530 00:28:45,957 --> 00:28:49,325 "I'm tired of spending time with you miserable..." 531 00:28:49,393 --> 00:28:51,360 A. Gypsies. 532 00:28:51,428 --> 00:28:53,396 B. Bottom feeders. 533 00:28:53,464 --> 00:28:55,632 C. Howler monkeys. 534 00:28:57,001 --> 00:28:58,301 Howler monkeys. 535 00:28:58,368 --> 00:29:00,036 Howler monkeys. 536 00:29:00,104 --> 00:29:02,605 The correct answer is... C. Howler monkeys! 537 00:29:02,673 --> 00:29:03,906 Yes! Yes! 538 00:29:04,875 --> 00:29:07,877 No! I can't do this. 539 00:29:07,945 --> 00:29:10,080 Oh, this isn't who I am. 540 00:29:10,147 --> 00:29:11,815 I'm... 541 00:29:11,882 --> 00:29:14,217 Sophia, you can speak your mind 542 00:29:14,284 --> 00:29:16,786 because you know you're needed around here. 543 00:29:16,854 --> 00:29:18,888 But Kirsten has her own family. 544 00:29:18,956 --> 00:29:21,191 I'll just be baggage there. 545 00:29:21,258 --> 00:29:23,226 I know a place where you're needed. 546 00:29:23,261 --> 00:29:24,193 Where? 547 00:29:26,030 --> 00:29:27,463 Here. 548 00:29:27,532 --> 00:29:30,666 Rose, oh, stay with me, honey. 549 00:29:31,468 --> 00:29:33,236 Oh, Blanche, that's very nice, 550 00:29:33,304 --> 00:29:35,438 but you're gonna want to get on with your own life. 551 00:29:35,506 --> 00:29:37,674 I mean, you'll want to find a relationship. 552 00:29:37,741 --> 00:29:40,110 I want my best friend right here with me. 553 00:29:40,177 --> 00:29:42,145 I need you in my life, Rose. 554 00:29:42,213 --> 00:29:44,948 You need each other. Stay, Rose. 555 00:29:45,016 --> 00:29:47,050 This is your family now. 556 00:29:48,152 --> 00:29:49,285 Well... 557 00:29:50,454 --> 00:29:52,722 We do have a lot in common. 558 00:29:52,756 --> 00:29:55,258 Yeah. You're both natural brunettes. 559 00:29:59,563 --> 00:30:02,398 Come on, get some rest. Tomorrow's a big day. 560 00:30:02,466 --> 00:30:04,801 Thank you. Thank you, Sophia. Good night. 561 00:30:05,736 --> 00:30:07,570 (BOTH GIGGLING) 562 00:30:13,577 --> 00:30:14,710 (SIGHS) 563 00:30:15,879 --> 00:30:17,513 Goodbye, my girls. 564 00:30:31,028 --> 00:30:32,662 ROSE: Oh, Dorothy. 565 00:30:32,730 --> 00:30:34,531 Oh, you're beautiful. 566 00:30:34,598 --> 00:30:37,567 Oh, pussycat, look at you. 567 00:30:37,635 --> 00:30:40,503 But to tell you the truth, I was hoping you'd use my wedding dress. 568 00:30:44,708 --> 00:30:45,975 That's nice, Ma. 569 00:30:46,043 --> 00:30:47,710 As what? A hand puppet? 570 00:30:51,615 --> 00:30:53,116 (CAR HORN BLARING) 571 00:30:56,786 --> 00:30:59,155 Oh, Dorothy, there's a limousine out front. 572 00:30:59,222 --> 00:31:02,391 Oh, Lucas must've sent it. Oh, he's so romantic. 573 00:31:02,459 --> 00:31:04,460 Oh, but, Ma, wait. I haven't finished packing. 574 00:31:04,528 --> 00:31:06,162 You'll come back later and pack. 575 00:31:06,230 --> 00:31:09,399 Yeah, relax, Dorothy, you're carrying on like a howler monkey. 576 00:31:12,669 --> 00:31:14,871 You've been coaching her, haven't you? 577 00:31:22,346 --> 00:31:25,148 DOROTHY: So sweet of Lucas to do this. 578 00:31:25,150 --> 00:31:28,084 I guess he wanted to make sure I got to the church on time. 579 00:31:28,151 --> 00:31:29,986 Oh, what a darling. 580 00:31:32,923 --> 00:31:35,758 Actually, I think... I think Maple is quicker. 581 00:31:35,826 --> 00:31:38,027 This heads out to the expressway. 582 00:31:40,430 --> 00:31:44,000 Driver? Driver, you're headed for the expressway. 583 00:31:44,068 --> 00:31:45,902 Why don't you turn around? 584 00:31:46,503 --> 00:31:48,938 Driver. Driver, stop. 585 00:31:50,775 --> 00:31:53,810 Driver, I said stop! 586 00:31:53,877 --> 00:31:57,179 Driver, who the hell do you think you are? 587 00:32:12,462 --> 00:32:16,866 Stanley, what are you doing? Have you lost your mind? 588 00:32:16,934 --> 00:32:19,702 You're ruining the biggest day of my life! 589 00:32:23,073 --> 00:32:25,541 You're getting married and you couldn't send an invitation 590 00:32:25,609 --> 00:32:26,843 to Stanley Zbornak? 591 00:32:26,910 --> 00:32:28,845 The man who gave you his name? 592 00:32:28,913 --> 00:32:31,814 I'm sorry. The list was alphabetical. 593 00:32:31,881 --> 00:32:34,917 The Zionists aren't speaking to me, either. 594 00:32:37,154 --> 00:32:39,589 Stanley, what do you want from me? 595 00:32:39,657 --> 00:32:41,458 I want to show you something. 596 00:32:41,525 --> 00:32:44,227 Dorothy, you see this hair? 597 00:32:44,295 --> 00:32:47,297 It is the only one on my forehead. 598 00:32:47,364 --> 00:32:49,432 The other traitors receded years ago, 599 00:32:49,500 --> 00:32:54,370 but this proud and loyal sprout clings desperately. 600 00:32:54,438 --> 00:32:57,840 It is unrelenting. It is true. 601 00:32:58,842 --> 00:33:00,876 What about it? 602 00:33:00,944 --> 00:33:05,381 Dorothy, it is this hair that I hate more than all the others. 603 00:33:05,449 --> 00:33:07,150 It mocks me. 604 00:33:08,152 --> 00:33:09,552 You're psychotic. 605 00:33:11,855 --> 00:33:13,089 Because I'm bald? 606 00:33:13,157 --> 00:33:15,157 Because you're kidnapping me! 607 00:33:15,225 --> 00:33:17,226 I'm not kidnapping you. 608 00:33:17,294 --> 00:33:20,596 I'm taking you to church. In style. 609 00:33:21,965 --> 00:33:23,299 You are? 610 00:33:23,334 --> 00:33:25,367 This is my gift to you. 611 00:33:27,237 --> 00:33:32,008 I just wanted a minute alone with you to give my blessings. 612 00:33:32,076 --> 00:33:33,375 To show I care. 613 00:33:34,878 --> 00:33:38,480 Don't you see? I am that hair. 614 00:33:38,548 --> 00:33:43,519 And you're my big, crazy, bald skull. 615 00:33:45,255 --> 00:33:48,958 I may give you some reason to resent me, 616 00:33:49,026 --> 00:33:53,296 but you cannot shake me. I am loyal. 617 00:33:53,364 --> 00:33:56,999 Stanley, you wore a toupee for 27 years. 618 00:33:59,169 --> 00:34:00,770 Don't mess with my metaphor. 619 00:34:03,574 --> 00:34:05,541 All right, Stanley, the truth. 620 00:34:09,146 --> 00:34:11,414 Things have been going so well with Lucas 621 00:34:11,481 --> 00:34:13,583 I didn't want to deal with you. 622 00:34:13,651 --> 00:34:15,384 But, as Freud said, 623 00:34:16,386 --> 00:34:18,354 our beds are crowded. 624 00:34:19,389 --> 00:34:21,724 When I sleep with Lucas, I'm not alone. 625 00:34:22,726 --> 00:34:25,428 There's this phantom of you there, 626 00:34:25,495 --> 00:34:30,499 and he has the haunts of his prior relationships, and, well, I... 627 00:34:32,036 --> 00:34:35,705 I can't pretend you're not a part of me. 628 00:34:35,772 --> 00:34:38,608 So, what are you saying, you slept with this guy? 629 00:34:42,445 --> 00:34:43,913 Stanley, you're missing my point. 630 00:34:43,981 --> 00:34:45,648 We named it! 631 00:34:48,952 --> 00:34:50,486 What I'm saying is 632 00:34:51,888 --> 00:34:53,556 thank you. 633 00:34:53,624 --> 00:34:56,125 Stanley, for the first time in a long while, 634 00:34:56,193 --> 00:34:58,628 you're really acting like a man. 635 00:34:59,930 --> 00:35:01,463 I love you, Dorothy. 636 00:35:01,531 --> 00:35:02,932 I've always loved you. 637 00:35:03,600 --> 00:35:05,067 And I love you, Stanley. 638 00:35:07,805 --> 00:35:08,938 Now drive. 639 00:35:13,143 --> 00:35:15,377 (BRIDAL MARCH PLAYING) 640 00:35:24,388 --> 00:35:27,823 DOROTHY: I can't believe it. This is for me. 641 00:35:27,891 --> 00:35:30,326 They're standing for me. 642 00:35:30,394 --> 00:35:35,465 My good friends. Oh, God, I wonder what they're thinking. 643 00:35:35,532 --> 00:35:37,500 SOPHIA: My baby's getting married. 644 00:35:37,568 --> 00:35:39,168 This is too much. 645 00:35:39,303 --> 00:35:43,439 I'm overcome. I'm about to cry. 646 00:35:43,507 --> 00:35:46,142 I can't believe it. I'm actually about to cry. 647 00:35:46,710 --> 00:35:48,010 (SNEEZING) 648 00:35:48,945 --> 00:35:50,980 Wow. Misjudged that one. 649 00:35:55,385 --> 00:35:56,652 BLANCHE: Oh, look at her. 650 00:35:56,719 --> 00:35:59,521 I've never seen Dorothy look so happy. 651 00:35:59,589 --> 00:36:02,791 Okay, that once, but she didn't know I was watchin'. 652 00:36:05,628 --> 00:36:08,831 And she looks so beautiful. 653 00:36:08,898 --> 00:36:11,633 Oh, my God, if a woman with all my gifts is jealous of her, 654 00:36:11,701 --> 00:36:14,703 I can't imagine what a woman like Rose must be thinkin'. 655 00:36:16,306 --> 00:36:19,742 ♪ Hi-ho, the derry-o The farmer in the dell 656 00:36:19,810 --> 00:36:24,013 ♪ The farmer takes a wife The farmer takes a wife ♪ 657 00:36:24,081 --> 00:36:28,217 SOPHIA: Such a beautiful bride , such a lovely church. 658 00:36:28,285 --> 00:36:29,652 Such a long walk. 659 00:36:31,888 --> 00:36:34,657 Oh, God, my hamstring. 660 00:36:34,724 --> 00:36:36,492 I've blown out my hamstring. 661 00:36:37,494 --> 00:36:38,994 No, no. I'm okay. 662 00:36:40,497 --> 00:36:42,565 DOROTHY: Oh, and there's Lucas. 663 00:36:42,632 --> 00:36:45,734 So handsome. So strong. 664 00:36:45,802 --> 00:36:48,637 And he's right here with me. 665 00:36:48,705 --> 00:36:52,074 Lucas, you can probably hear every word I'm thinking. 666 00:36:52,142 --> 00:36:54,142 LUCAS: Yes, Dorothy, I can. 667 00:37:01,318 --> 00:37:03,252 REVEREND: Remember, "ESP." 668 00:37:03,319 --> 00:37:05,153 Energy! Smile! Personality! 669 00:37:05,221 --> 00:37:07,756 They like me! 670 00:37:07,824 --> 00:37:10,393 Dearly beloved, we are assembled here 671 00:37:10,461 --> 00:37:12,828 in the sight of God and these witnesses 672 00:37:12,896 --> 00:37:16,465 to join this man and this woman in matrimony, 673 00:37:16,533 --> 00:37:18,467 to marry them husband and wife 674 00:37:18,535 --> 00:37:20,370 in both interest and destiny... DOROTHY: I'm here. 675 00:37:20,437 --> 00:37:23,072 I'm standing here and he's standing there. 676 00:37:23,140 --> 00:37:24,607 Instituted by God... 677 00:37:24,675 --> 00:37:27,910 And I actually love him. I love the man. 678 00:37:27,978 --> 00:37:30,280 And not out of desperation. 679 00:37:30,347 --> 00:37:35,151 Dorothy Zbornak has finally conquered her desperation! 680 00:37:35,218 --> 00:37:36,718 Dorothy... I do! 681 00:37:36,786 --> 00:37:37,920 (ALL LAUGHING) 682 00:37:42,993 --> 00:37:45,495 Oh, what the heck. I do, too. 683 00:37:45,562 --> 00:37:46,762 (ALL LAUGHING) 684 00:37:48,932 --> 00:37:50,866 DOROTHY: God, I love this man. 685 00:37:50,934 --> 00:37:52,535 Hey, you two. 686 00:37:52,602 --> 00:37:54,570 You're not married until I say so! 687 00:37:54,638 --> 00:37:56,038 (ALL LAUGHING) 688 00:37:57,574 --> 00:37:59,308 REVEREND: Big smile now. 689 00:38:02,412 --> 00:38:06,415 They love me. These people love me! 690 00:38:06,483 --> 00:38:09,185 Dorothy and Lucas, would you please join hands? 691 00:38:13,757 --> 00:38:17,026 Lucas, do you take this woman to be your wedded wife? 692 00:38:17,094 --> 00:38:19,528 Do you promise to love, support and cherish her 693 00:38:19,596 --> 00:38:21,631 as long as you both shall live? 694 00:38:21,698 --> 00:38:23,599 I do. 695 00:38:23,667 --> 00:38:27,202 And Dorothy, do you take this man to be your wedded husband? 696 00:38:27,270 --> 00:38:29,739 Do you promise to love, support and cherish him 697 00:38:29,806 --> 00:38:31,107 as long as you both shall live? 698 00:38:31,174 --> 00:38:32,875 I do. 699 00:38:32,942 --> 00:38:36,345 REVEREND: May we have the ring, please? Repeat after me. 700 00:38:37,514 --> 00:38:39,982 With this ring I thee wed... 701 00:38:40,049 --> 00:38:42,118 With this ring, I thee wed... 702 00:38:46,556 --> 00:38:47,556 ♪ The farmer in the dell 703 00:38:47,624 --> 00:38:49,092 ♪ The farmer in the dell 704 00:38:49,159 --> 00:38:50,927 ♪ Hi-ho, the derry-o The farmer in the dell ♪ 705 00:38:53,130 --> 00:38:55,564 And I pledge my love and loyalty 706 00:38:55,632 --> 00:38:59,401 in the name of the Lord. Amen. 707 00:38:59,469 --> 00:39:02,738 Then, unless anyone here has cause for objection... 708 00:39:04,274 --> 00:39:06,542 By the power vested in me by God 709 00:39:06,610 --> 00:39:08,110 and the State of Florida, 710 00:39:08,177 --> 00:39:11,246 I now pronounce you husband and wife. 711 00:39:11,314 --> 00:39:13,181 Lucas, you may kiss the bride. 712 00:39:27,764 --> 00:39:29,431 (ORGAN PLAYING) 713 00:39:29,499 --> 00:39:31,400 SOPHIA: Oh, no. Of all the times 714 00:39:31,467 --> 00:39:33,235 for me to feel a sneeze coming on. 715 00:39:38,308 --> 00:39:39,775 I'll be damned. 716 00:39:55,192 --> 00:39:59,061 Dorothy, I want to tell you something, and this isn't easy. 717 00:39:59,096 --> 00:40:01,763 Not easy? For you? Please, Ma. 718 00:40:01,831 --> 00:40:03,566 The day you stop speaking your mind... 719 00:40:03,633 --> 00:40:05,034 I'm not going. ...is the... 720 00:40:05,903 --> 00:40:07,069 What? 721 00:40:07,137 --> 00:40:08,538 I'm not going with you, pussycat. 722 00:40:08,605 --> 00:40:10,339 I'm staying here with the girls. 723 00:40:11,041 --> 00:40:12,542 The girls? 724 00:40:12,576 --> 00:40:14,309 Rose, Blanche, whatever they are. 725 00:40:17,747 --> 00:40:19,448 We discussed it after the wedding and, 726 00:40:19,516 --> 00:40:20,917 pussycat, they need me. 727 00:40:20,984 --> 00:40:22,852 Ma. I need you. 728 00:40:22,919 --> 00:40:24,053 No. 729 00:40:24,120 --> 00:40:27,823 No, you need to be married now. Alone. 730 00:40:27,891 --> 00:40:30,759 Frankly, I think I was in the way the first time. 731 00:40:30,827 --> 00:40:35,197 Oh, no, you weren't. Yes, you were. 732 00:40:35,265 --> 00:40:37,099 Dorothy, it's time to leave the nest, 733 00:40:37,166 --> 00:40:41,037 and I think I've given you the self-confidence to do that. 734 00:40:41,104 --> 00:40:44,940 I do want you to know that without you and Blanche and Rose, 735 00:40:45,008 --> 00:40:47,610 I never would have been ready to try. 736 00:40:48,778 --> 00:40:51,080 There's something I want to tell you. 737 00:40:51,147 --> 00:40:55,050 It's been my great privilege to be your friend as an adult. 738 00:40:55,118 --> 00:40:56,852 To spend these years with you. 739 00:40:56,920 --> 00:40:59,455 No, Ma. It was my privilege. 740 00:41:03,293 --> 00:41:04,827 And something else. 741 00:41:05,996 --> 00:41:08,964 And that self-confidence 742 00:41:09,032 --> 00:41:13,669 is the greatest gift that you could have ever given me. 743 00:41:15,739 --> 00:41:17,706 Yeah, I agree. Yes. 744 00:41:18,808 --> 00:41:20,375 It's a magnificent gift. 745 00:41:27,450 --> 00:41:28,750 You got everything you need? 746 00:41:28,818 --> 00:41:30,419 Yeah, I guess so. 747 00:41:30,487 --> 00:41:31,753 Gonna be a great honeymoon. 748 00:41:31,821 --> 00:41:33,389 Me, Dorothy and Freddy Peterson. 749 00:41:33,456 --> 00:41:34,657 Who's Freddy Peterson? 750 00:41:34,724 --> 00:41:36,058 That's what we named it. 751 00:41:45,902 --> 00:41:47,069 Oh. 752 00:41:58,882 --> 00:42:01,817 I have packed my last suitcase. 753 00:42:01,885 --> 00:42:03,385 You ready, Dorothy? 754 00:42:03,453 --> 00:42:04,920 Ready, Freddy. 755 00:42:06,723 --> 00:42:08,523 Dorothy, they know. 756 00:42:11,895 --> 00:42:12,895 Oh. 757 00:42:14,497 --> 00:42:16,332 I--I'll be out in just a minute. 758 00:42:18,068 --> 00:42:19,201 Okay. 759 00:42:29,145 --> 00:42:30,479 Well. 760 00:42:31,081 --> 00:42:32,314 Well. 761 00:42:33,483 --> 00:42:35,384 Yeah. 762 00:42:35,452 --> 00:42:37,319 I guess this is it. 763 00:42:37,387 --> 00:42:38,487 Right. 764 00:42:39,589 --> 00:42:40,856 Listen... 765 00:42:40,923 --> 00:42:43,225 Dorothy, you don't have to say anything. 766 00:42:43,293 --> 00:42:44,393 I mean, what can you say 767 00:42:44,461 --> 00:42:48,364 about seven years of fights and laughter. 768 00:42:48,431 --> 00:42:51,267 Secrets. Cheesecake. 769 00:42:52,302 --> 00:42:53,835 Just that 770 00:42:54,637 --> 00:42:57,906 it's been very... 771 00:42:57,974 --> 00:43:01,877 Well, it's been an experience that I'll always keep very close to my heart. 772 00:43:01,944 --> 00:43:03,545 (CRYING) 773 00:43:03,613 --> 00:43:06,315 And that these are memories 774 00:43:07,583 --> 00:43:13,055 that I'll wrap myself in when the world gets cold 775 00:43:13,123 --> 00:43:14,923 and I forget that there are people 776 00:43:14,991 --> 00:43:18,727 who are warm and loving and... 777 00:43:20,030 --> 00:43:22,031 We love you, too. 778 00:43:22,098 --> 00:43:24,433 Oh! I'll miss you. I'll miss you. 779 00:43:24,500 --> 00:43:27,036 (ALL SOBBING) 780 00:43:27,103 --> 00:43:30,105 BLANCHE: You will always be a part of us. 781 00:43:31,707 --> 00:43:33,875 Your friendship 782 00:43:33,944 --> 00:43:38,347 was something I never expected at this point in my life. 783 00:43:38,415 --> 00:43:43,052 And I could never have asked for a better surprise. 784 00:43:43,119 --> 00:43:45,120 BLANCHE: That's how we feel, too. 785 00:43:46,556 --> 00:43:48,424 I have to go. 786 00:43:48,491 --> 00:43:51,560 Dorothy, is this goodbye? 787 00:43:58,201 --> 00:44:01,037 I love you, always. 788 00:44:15,485 --> 00:44:17,052 Oh, God, I love you so much! 789 00:44:17,120 --> 00:44:18,120 (ALL SCREAMING) 790 00:44:18,187 --> 00:44:19,255 Oh, Dorothy! Oh, Dorothy! 791 00:44:19,322 --> 00:44:20,989 Oh, Dorothy. Dorothy. 792 00:44:21,057 --> 00:44:22,358 (ALL SOBBING) 793 00:44:23,960 --> 00:44:27,296 Listen, Lucas is waiting. 794 00:44:30,700 --> 00:44:33,803 You're angels. All of you. 795 00:44:47,717 --> 00:44:50,286 Oh, God, I'm going to miss you! Oh! 796 00:44:50,353 --> 00:44:52,487 (ALL EXCLAIMING) 797 00:44:52,555 --> 00:44:57,893 BLANCHE: Dorothy! Dorothy! Oh... 798 00:44:57,961 --> 00:44:59,929 Oh, listen, I... We have a flight. 799 00:44:59,996 --> 00:45:01,463 I should... 800 00:45:03,967 --> 00:45:06,001 You'll always be my sisters. 801 00:45:07,437 --> 00:45:08,704 Always. 802 00:45:35,999 --> 00:45:37,800 (ALL SOBBING) 58329

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.