All language subtitles for The Golden Girls - 07x23 - Home Again, Rose (1).

♪ Thank you for being a friend

♪ Traveled down the road
and back again

♪ Your heart is true

♪ You're a pal and a confidant

♪ And if you threw a party

♪ Invited everyone you knew

♪ You would see

♪ The biggest gift
would be from me

♪ And the card attached
would say

♪ Thank you
for being a friend ♪

Ma, what's wrong with you?

You've been leaving the
toilet seat up all week.

Thank God, I thought
I was losin' weight.

Oh, girls, I have great news!

I just talked to
my daughter, Janet,

and she and my granddaughter, Sarah, are
comin' to visit in a couple of days.

Oh, I've never been so happy.

Janet? Isn't she
the daughter who hates you?

Well, that didn't
last long, did it?

Oh, no, no. She doesn't
really hate me, Sophia.

We just don't see eye to eye.

But now this is my big chance.
Girls, you've gotta help me.

What is somethin' the three
of us could do together?

Well, we could
sneak into Rose's room,

put on some of
her hayseed dresses,

then do imitations of her.
No, no, no, not the three of us.

I mean Janet and Sarah and I.

Oh, the three of you.

I don't care.

You're no help at all, Sophia.

Dorothy, do you have any ideas?

Well, you know,
my idea of a good time...

Oh, God, I'm dead.

I am so mad.

I just got a letter from back home
all about my high school reunion.

I didn't know I was gonna
miss such a good time.

Listen to this, "Dear Rose, you
sure did miss a good time.

"The precision drill team
wasn't the same without you.

"We could only spell out
St. Oaf."

You know, Rose, you didn't get to
go to your high school reunion

because you weren't
feeling well.

Maybe if you'd been to see a
doctor, you could've gone.

You don't understand.
I'm from St. Olaf.

St. Olaf is farm country.

We're rough and rugged.
We never see doctors. Never.

In fact, my great-grandfather once
removed his neighbor's appendix

and he wasn't even sick.

Why would he do that?

Let's just say
they were playing poker

and the stakes got
a little high.

Rose, you have been looking pale
and drawn the last two weeks.

You ought to see a doctor.

Blanche is right.
You should see a doctor.

It's just indigestion,

and I'm a little tired
from working hard.

Oh, come on, Rose, you're
playing with your health here.

You're crazy.

Oh, I'm crazy, am I?

You think I'm crazy, do you?

Well, I'll tell you
something else.

In St. Olaf, we don't believe
in psychiatrists either.

(LAUGHING)

Oh, good, you're all here.

(CHUCKLING) Saturday night,
of course you're all here.

Well, before I go out, listen to
what I found in the personals.

"Last call for all
those who graduated

"from East Miami High,
class of '52.

"Don't miss
our 40th reunion party."

What does that
have to do with us?

Well, look, Rose, you know you
missed your high school reunion

because you didn't feel well?

Here's your chance
to go to one.

And for Dorothy and me
to meet some men.

Me, too! Me, too!

Let's say you and
Rose and I do go,

won't they know that we
haven't been to that school?

Yeah, how do we stop
that from happening?

Dorothy, these people went
to school 40 years ago.

They won't know
each other anymore.

Why, you and Rose and I
will blend right in.

We'll just blend right in.
Smooth.

You know, I did feel bad about
missing my high school reunion.

And Miles is out of town,

and with you guys there
I know I'd have fun.

You know, this is ridiculous,
but I say let's do it.

It'll be a lark.

We'll be just like the Three Musketeers.
All for one...

And one for all!

Oh, wait a minute.
What about Ma?

Thank you, pussycat.

We'll have to get a sitter.

No more sitters. We're still in
litigation with the last one.

She bit me first.

You're gonna come with us,
but you have to be prepared.

Now, I'm gonna go
by the school library

and pick up some old yearbooks.

We have to know all the basics.

You know, like, oh,
senior class president,

quarterback of the
football team, class slut.

Blanche, how do you tell
a slut from a yearbook?

Oh. How do you tell
a slut from a yearbook?

Um...

You don't have to buy
a yearbook dinner.

Rose.

You can take a yearbook home
to your parents.

Rose.

There's nothing wrong
with having a yearbook

on the coffee table.

Rose, this isn't a riddle!

Well, make it one.
I had three good answers.

Well,
I'm ready for the reunion.

What do you think? Hmm?

Oh, pussycat, I think you haven't
changed a bit since your prom.

Really?
No, I'm lying.

Gee, why do you press me
on these things?

Look, you're not going
to spoil this for me.

Tonight, I get to be the
person I want to be.

No baggage. I am free.

Nobody has to know that I
haven't fulfilled my dreams,

or that I got pregnant
in high school,

or that I stay home
on Saturday nights.

Then what the hell am I
supposed to talk about?

Rose, all I'm sayin' is, I just
want to make sure you're prepared.

Look, I studied that yearbook
as hard as you did.

Ask me anything. Anything.

Okay, I will.
What were the school colors?

Uh, gee...brick and a kind of a
cementy color between the bricks.

Rose, be serious.

All right,
ask me something else.

Um, all right, how many fingers
did the shop teacher have?

Nine.
Oh, that's too easy.

All shop teachers have nine.

Rose Nylund, you haven't
memorized anything, have you?

You're just gonna walk in there
tonight totally unprepared

and the first words out of
your mouth are gonna be wrong,

and you're gonna
get us all kicked out!

Well, I'm feeling pretty tired.

Maybe I just shouldn't go.

Wait a minute. You're deliberately
trying to get out of going.

To tell you the truth,
I think I'm a little afraid.

Afraid of what?
Afraid of looking stupid.

Ho!

I think this
whole thing is wrong.

I mean, we're going to this
reunion and deceiving people

and changing
our past histories.

To me,
that's almost like lying.

And that's
against everything I am.

Rose, what's the natural
color of your hair?

I'll get the car.

Where have you been?

When no one was looking,
I went by the "no show" table

and I got four nametags for us.

Blanche,
you'll be Susan Armstrong.

And, Dorothy,
you'll be Cindy Lou Peeples.

And, Sophia,
you're Myron Zucker.

Rose, you idiot. There's no way
I'm ever gonna pass for a man.

Dorothy, trade with me?

Go to hell, Myron.

Rose,
I don't want to wear this.

Oh, come on.
I looked in the yearbook

and you're a dead ringer
for Cindy Lou Peeples.

I don't know.

Trust me. It'll work or my
name isn't Kim Fung-Toi.

I'm gonna go stand
with those women over there

so I'll be less conspicuous.

Why do you say that?

Well, Dorothy, you remember, the
pretty girls always travel in packs.

Rose, you all right?

I just feel a little faint.
I...

I think getting together with my old
friends is starting to get to me.

Rose, you don't know
anybody here.

So the snubbing
isn't race-oriented?

Oh, God, you know
I really hate reunions.

I mean, everybody is
so plastic and fake.

Everybody pretending
to be something they're not.

Why can't people
just be themselves?

Cindy Lou Peeples?
Tommy Lunt?

(BOTH SCREAMING)

Excuse me.
Aren't you Mrs. Gonzales?

Spanish 101?

Si.

Hi, Larry Tucker.

You know, I--I was always afraid to
tell you this when I was in your class,

but I had a huge crush on you
back then.

Why didn't you ever
do anything about it?

Mrs. Gonzales,
you were my teacher.

And you were
my favorite student.

Well, I'm not
your teacher anymore,

and Mr. Gonzales is dead.

Let's mambo.

Susan? Susan Armstrong?

Ted? Ted O' Brien?
My, my, my.

Why, you would not
believe how often

I've thought about you
over the years.

I'll bet.

I remember our one date when I
told you I didn't like girls

and you told everyone.

Everyone.

Well, guess what?

I still don't like girls
and I don't like you.

Ted? Ted!

Oh, who cares.

So I guess the most interesting
thing about the tar business is...

Well, actually,
I have to pick two things

because it's impossible
to pick one.

Well, anyway, the two
most interesting things

about the tar business
are the tar itself,

and the number of shoes
you go through.

Oh, I'm sorry.
I'm probably boring you.

Enough about me.
Let's talk about you.

So, where do you get your tar?

I lost my first husband
in a tar pit. Excuse me.

Well, if it isn't
Susan Armstrong.

Oh, and don't you
look handsome, Bill.

Wow, you haven't aged a bit.
I've missed you.

Really, Susan?
How about our baby?

The one my parents raised?
Do you ever miss him?

You know, it isn't really
good to dwell on the past.

Um, so what do you
do for a livin'?

Bill? Bill?

(CLUCKS) Oh, who cares.

Uh, may I have your attention, please?
We'd like to get started.

Cindy Lou Peeples?
You look incredible.

Well, thank you.

You remember
our Korean exchange student,

Kim Fung-Toi?

Oh, sure.
You look different.

Different on outside.
Same on inside.

Hi, I'm Pete Fielder.

Senior class president.

Oh, my God, it's the president!

Rose.
I'm gonna try something.

Look, there's a tar salesman.

Oh, my God,
it's a tar salesman!

Hello and welcome.
I hope you're all enjoying yourself.

But it's now the moment
we've all been waiting for.

Oh, I'm tired of being
Cindy Peeples.

Her life is almost
as boring as mine.

Oh, let's go home, Dorothy, Rose.
Okay, okay, Blanche.

And now, the king and
queen of the prom,

Danny Farrell and
Cindy Lou Peeples!

(PEOPLE CHEERING)

(BAND PLAYING FANFARE)

I'm queen! I'm queen!

Oh, Ma,
Ma, I'm queen of the prom.

I'm proud of you, Cindy Lou.

I'm queen.

This is sad.
This is so sad.

Hold it.
You're not Cindy Lou Peeples.

I don't know what
you're talking about.

I brought my mother.
She'll vouch for me.

Yes.
That--That's Mrs. Gonzales.

Uh, si.

They're both impostors.
Run, Ma, run!

BLANCHE: No.

Dorothy!

Do you see what you've done?

You've upset Kim Fung-Toi.

Rose?
Dorothy, she's not kidding.

Oh, my God.
Somebody get help!

BLANCHE: Rose. Rose.

(AMBULANCE SIREN WAILING)

Why won't they
tell us how she is?

Blanche, be patient.

We've been here
over an hour, Dorothy.

Oh, God. What if she's
already dead

and they're just tryin' to
figure out some way to tell us?

She is not dead.

I remember when people used
to die at Shady Pines.

I hated the way the nurses
used to break the news.

"Guess who's getting
two desserts tonight?"

It was so transparent.

Oh, my God, Dorothy, I just
had another horrible thought.

What if Rose had
a major stroke?

What if she is left completely
unable to care for herself?

What would we do?

We would bring her home.
That's what we would do.

If she had a stroke, we'd take care of her.
She's family.

(CLEARS THROAT)

Right. And then we'd send her
to Shady Pines.

Thank you.

Oh, this is all my fault.

This is all my fault.

Blanche, what are you talking about?
Well, don't you see?

I was the one who knew
she wasn't feelin' well,

and yet I insisted
she go to that old reunion.

(SIGHS) How can I be
so self-centered?

I couldn't even hear
a cry for help.

Oh, all I ever think
about is me.

Me, me, me, me, me, me, me.

Blanche, we all knew
she wasn't feeling well.

Do you mind,
I'm talkin' about me.

Blanche, listen to me.

All we can do for Rose now
is say a prayer.

Oh, been a long time
since I've said a prayer.

I don't think God even knows
who I am anymore.

God, Blanche.
Blanche, God. Go ahead.

Dear God, I know it's
been an awful long time

since I've done this,
and I'm sorry.

You have given me
a lot to be thankful for.

My wonderful children,

my health, a beautiful body,
legs to die for.

A face that is stunningly sexy

and yet has
the innocence of a child,

with luscious lips
that just invite...

He knows what you
look like, Blanche.

Yes, you know what I look like

and I just wanted
to say good job.

Oh, but, dear God,
I do have a favor to ask.

Could you please spare
my friend Rose?

Now, I know
I haven't been perfect,

but if you can
just let her live,

I promise I'll try
to be a better person.

And if, in your infinite
wisdom, you decide

to start
the aging process on me,

I will understand.

And I promise

I will not have sex with anyone

unless they really,
really need it.

Amen.

Hi. Are you waiting for news
on Rose Nylund?

Yes, we are, Doctor.
How is she?

I've just seen her
and she's fine.

Oh, thank God.
Oh, we were so worried.

She had a very mild cardiac episode.
No permanent damage.

And you can see her

just as soon as
we get her moved into a room.

Oh! Did you hear that?
Rose is fine.

My prayer was answered.

Who knows?
Maybe that's what did it.

I know I was
doing some praying.

All I know is Rose
is gonna be okay.

And I am gonna
stick by my promise.

Boy, from now on, you're gonna
see a new, improved Blanche.

I've just talked to the nurse.

Mrs. Nylund is in her room
and she wants to see you.

Oh, thank you, Doctor.

Room 114.

By the way, I don't think
I caught your name.

I'm Blanche.

Well, Blanche, I hope I can
see you outside the hospital.

Maybe we can have
dinner some night?

Oh, well, do you...
Do you really need to?

I mean, do you really,
really need to?

Well, I don't really need to.

Then I'm sorry, but I can't.

Oh, you are a vengeful God.

Oh, girls,
thank God you're here.

I'm sorry I scared you.

The doctor just wants me to stay
here overnight for observation.

Honey, don't be sorry.
We're just so happy you're feeling better.

She's right. Now,
you just take it easy, Rose.

I think this scare
really touched all of us.

I found myself
bargaining with God.

I promised him that
if you were all right,

there'd be a lot less sex
and a lot more church.

I'm sorry. I--I thought you were
making a joke to raise my spirits.

We all got a second chance.
I realized I wasn't living up to my potential.

I'm gonna find out
what I'm good at.

Take an aptitude test.

Maybe go to law school.

Oh, Ma, come on, you'll
be 96 when you get out.

I'll be 96 anyway.

Well, since everyone
is making promises,

and in celebration of Rose's
miraculous recovery,

I've decided
I'm gonna go out more.

What, she's gonna be a lawyer
and I can't go out?

You know, I've never
been afraid of dying.

That's 'cause I'm
not gonna stay dead.

I'm gonna get frozen.

I read a magazine
article on cryogenics.

I mean, they freeze you,

and then when they find a
cure for what you've got,

they bring you back to life.

Oh, Rose, there is no
proof of that working.

Oh, they've had great success
with the Arctic beetle.

You have nothin' in common
with the Arctic beetle.

Think that one through.

Well, I've heard
it's really expensive.

Not if you just do your head.

What?
I want to preserve my brain.

(ALL LAUGHING)

Oh, we're sorry.
We thought you were makin' a little joke

to raise our spirits.

No, I want to get
my head frozen

and I want you to promise me
you'll help me with this.

All right,
if it'll make you happy,

I will see that your head gets
to the cryogenics people.

And Blanche'll help me, too.

Well, I do have George's
old bowling ball bag.

And I need your solemn promises

that you'll have
your heads frozen, too.

Oh, honey. No, no, no, no,
Rose, I don't think so.

Oh, well, I'm sorry.

I thought we were friends.

And friends do little things for each
other, like get their heads frozen.

Okay, we'll be good friends and
have our heads frozen, too.

(LAUGHING)

What?

I was just thinking about what
Dorothy said about getting out more.

(DOORBELL RINGING)

(GASPS)

Grammy!
Oh, sweetie-pie.

Janet, how was the trip?

Fine. Fine.

You come over here
and sit down next to Grandma.

Oh, give me a hug.

Oh, you, too. You're so beautiful.
You're so sweet.

Can we go to Monkey
Village, Grandma?

Why, yes, darlin'.

We can go anywhere
and do anything you want

on God's magnificent Earth.

Boy, you're sure in a good
mood for a Sunday mornin'.

Uh-oh. Sarah and I can wait in the
kitchen if you need a few minutes

to say goodbye
to Uncle whoever.

No, no, no, nothin' like that.

Well, I thought
maybe the three of us

could go to church together
just like good people.

Oh, you know how I feel
about organized religion.

It makes me crazy.

And I do not want Sarah's head

filled with stories about a God

who may or may not exist.

Well, honey,
of course He exists.

Just look at the beautiful
sky, the majestic trees.

God created man and gave
him a heart and a mind

and thighs that could
crack walnuts.

Mother.

Oh, I'm sorry.
I came to religion late.

I'd say.
But it's never too late.

And it is my fervent hope
that the three of us,

you and I and dear
little Sarah, may walk

the path of
righteousness together.

And now, if you will excuse me,

I have Gideon Bibles
for everyone.

I miss sexy Grandma.

I'm sure a lot of
people do, darlin'.

I'm sure a lot of people do.

Rose? Rose?

Look at this. Vaseline.

BENGAY.

Ooh, wow, look at this
wonderful thermometer!

Ouch! Stop me, I'm like
a kid in a candy store.

Ma, don't take that stuff.

Come on, pussycat.

They expect us to take it.
It's like hotel soap.

Oh, excuse me.
We're here to pick up our friend.

Are they doing some tests
before they let her go?

Rose Nylund?

I'm sorry to have
to tell you this,

but she went
into cardiac arrest.

They're prepping
her for surgery.

Oh, my Lord.
Oh, my Lord.

Oh, my Lord.

(SIGHS)