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1
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[ Organ plays ]
2
00:00:04,314 --> 00:00:10,562
♪♪
3
00:00:10,596 --> 00:00:12,391
This is all my fault.
4
00:00:12,426 --> 00:00:14,186
Delilah said she'd only
come see us at a funeral,
5
00:00:14,221 --> 00:00:16,395
then I thought of all these ways
to kill you guys.
6
00:00:16,430 --> 00:00:17,810
I never wanted any of this
to happen.
7
00:00:17,845 --> 00:00:19,260
Shh. It's okay.
8
00:00:19,295 --> 00:00:22,608
We're gonna get through this.
We'll be okay.
9
00:00:22,643 --> 00:00:24,127
[ Exhales sharply ]
10
00:00:24,162 --> 00:00:28,442
Nate was a loving husband
and a devoted father.
11
00:00:28,476 --> 00:00:31,134
He was the type of guy
who...
12
00:00:31,169 --> 00:00:32,135
[ Paper rustles ]
13
00:00:32,170 --> 00:00:33,136
What does that say?
14
00:00:33,171 --> 00:00:34,482
What's that say?
15
00:00:34,517 --> 00:00:36,415
The guy men want to be
and women want to be with?
16
00:00:36,450 --> 00:00:38,693
Right. Men want to be --
[ Babbles ] Ugh.
17
00:00:38,728 --> 00:00:40,695
Uh...huh.
18
00:00:40,730 --> 00:00:42,456
The type of guy that
when you've got
19
00:00:42,490 --> 00:00:47,461
10 seconds left on the clock,
down by two,
20
00:00:47,495 --> 00:00:49,497
you're short handed,
three on five,
21
00:00:49,532 --> 00:00:51,844
and the ref has just been
riding your dick all night,
22
00:00:51,879 --> 00:00:54,640
that guy says,
"I'll score two by myself
23
00:00:54,675 --> 00:00:55,745
and get us to overtime" --
24
00:00:55,779 --> 00:00:56,711
This is so stupid.
25
00:00:56,746 --> 00:00:58,299
Oh, my God.
26
00:00:58,334 --> 00:00:59,749
[ Music stops ]Holy cow.
27
00:00:59,783 --> 00:01:01,302
Let me tell you
what's stupid.
28
00:01:01,337 --> 00:01:04,857
Hearing an "ugh" in the middle
of your own eulogy.
29
00:01:04,892 --> 00:01:06,514
And "1 dud"?
30
00:01:06,549 --> 00:01:07,757
They were out
of "A's."
31
00:01:07,791 --> 00:01:09,724
Then by an "E"
for the end.
32
00:01:09,759 --> 00:01:10,760
"Dud-e"?
33
00:01:10,794 --> 00:01:12,451
God.
Piece of crap.
34
00:01:12,486 --> 00:01:13,763
What are these?
35
00:01:13,797 --> 00:01:15,316
Carnations.
They suck!
36
00:01:15,351 --> 00:01:16,248
They're fine.
37
00:01:16,283 --> 00:01:17,387
Tennis?
38
00:01:17,422 --> 00:01:18,871
What am I, Italian?
39
00:01:18,906 --> 00:01:21,219
And my Drew Stafford
autographed skates?
40
00:01:21,253 --> 00:01:22,737
How many times
have I told you,
41
00:01:22,772 --> 00:01:25,361
they don't come
out of the glass case?
42
00:01:25,395 --> 00:01:27,363
And don't even get me started
on this venue.
43
00:01:27,397 --> 00:01:28,605
It's atrocious.
44
00:01:28,640 --> 00:01:30,814
What?What is that smell,
dead raccoons?
45
00:01:30,849 --> 00:01:33,783
Hey! War heroes
have funerals here.
46
00:01:33,817 --> 00:01:35,785
So I guess it's good enough
for the greatest generations,
47
00:01:35,819 --> 00:01:36,924
but not for
Nate the Great?
48
00:01:36,958 --> 00:01:38,512
Can I tell you,
if I was actually dead,
49
00:01:38,546 --> 00:01:40,203
I'd be rolling over in my grave
right now.
[ Sighs ]
50
00:01:40,238 --> 00:01:42,378
You were cremated, dum-dum.
Keep your story straight.
51
00:01:42,412 --> 00:01:43,758
Why are you doing
any of this?
52
00:01:43,793 --> 00:01:45,001
It's such
a stupid idea.
53
00:01:45,035 --> 00:01:46,934
What are you talking about?
This was youridea.
54
00:01:46,968 --> 00:01:48,384
I still say
that when you saw her,
55
00:01:48,418 --> 00:01:50,144
you should have
grabbed her and called us,
56
00:01:50,179 --> 00:01:52,698
but that's just me talking.Yes, and now here we are,
57
00:01:52,733 --> 00:01:54,838
at my fake [bleep] funeral,
okay?
58
00:01:54,873 --> 00:01:56,771
So what we're gonna do is,
we're gonna wait
59
00:01:56,806 --> 00:01:58,911
for Delilah to show up,
we're gonna grab her,
60
00:01:58,946 --> 00:02:01,535
we're gonna strap her to a chair
and shake her
61
00:02:01,569 --> 00:02:03,364
until she realizes
how much she loves us.
62
00:02:03,399 --> 00:02:05,677
Now, let's take it from the top,
and a little energy this time.
63
00:02:05,711 --> 00:02:07,644
Okay?
A little emotion.
64
00:02:07,679 --> 00:02:09,508
Let's try to sell
this stupid premise.
65
00:02:09,543 --> 00:02:12,166
Five, six, seven --
Shit, shit, shit!
66
00:02:12,201 --> 00:02:13,409
What? Oh!
67
00:02:13,443 --> 00:02:14,375
Excuse me.
68
00:02:14,410 --> 00:02:15,687
Hi, hello.
Can I help you?
69
00:02:15,721 --> 00:02:19,518
I'm here for
Nate Parker's memorial.
70
00:02:19,553 --> 00:02:21,934
I assumed that
I'm in the right place.
71
00:02:21,969 --> 00:02:23,557
Uh, yes. Yeah.
72
00:02:23,591 --> 00:02:25,559
I-I'm so sorry.
Who -- Who are you?
73
00:02:25,593 --> 00:02:27,699
I'm Skye.
74
00:02:27,733 --> 00:02:29,287
Nate's old girlfriend.
75
00:02:29,321 --> 00:02:31,289
How did you hear
about this event?
76
00:02:31,323 --> 00:02:33,705
Well --I invited her.
77
00:02:33,739 --> 00:02:37,950
She was the girl that
my dead son should have married.
78
00:02:37,985 --> 00:02:39,573
[ Organ plays ]
79
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♪♪
80
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[ Distorted music plays ]
81
00:02:46,373 --> 00:02:50,963
♪♪
82
00:02:50,998 --> 00:02:53,863
[ Weeps ]I wish I could
do something.
83
00:02:53,897 --> 00:02:55,692
I can't believe
she invited people.
84
00:02:55,727 --> 00:02:57,315
I needed her
to tell Delilah.
85
00:02:57,349 --> 00:02:58,730
So, you told her
I was actually dead?
86
00:02:58,764 --> 00:03:00,352
I didn't trust her to be
a good enough actor
87
00:03:00,387 --> 00:03:01,008
to know the truth.
88
00:03:01,042 --> 00:03:01,905
Oh, my God.
89
00:03:01,940 --> 00:03:03,286
She looks so sad.
90
00:03:03,321 --> 00:03:04,770
I've never
seen her cry before.
91
00:03:04,805 --> 00:03:06,565
I thought you would
love that.
What?
92
00:03:06,600 --> 00:03:08,015
This is the same woman
who made you hobble around
93
00:03:08,049 --> 00:03:09,879
on a broken femur
for six months.
94
00:03:09,913 --> 00:03:12,295
In her defense, I was 6.
Okay?
95
00:03:12,330 --> 00:03:13,469
I should have been
a little tougher.
96
00:03:13,503 --> 00:03:14,573
[ Sighs ]
97
00:03:14,608 --> 00:03:15,678
I can't do this.
We should let her off the hook.
98
00:03:15,712 --> 00:03:16,541
No. No, no, no, no, no.Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
99
00:03:16,575 --> 00:03:18,508
Hey, hey, hey!I-I gotta tell her.
100
00:03:18,543 --> 00:03:19,613
I gotta tell her, okay?No!
101
00:03:19,647 --> 00:03:21,649
Plus, it'd be great to see Skye.
She looks awesome.
102
00:03:21,684 --> 00:03:23,306
What's gonna happen when
you come back from the dead?
103
00:03:23,341 --> 00:03:25,308
People are gonna be pissed,
they're gonna leave,
104
00:03:25,343 --> 00:03:26,275
and they're gonna go
tell Delilah.
105
00:03:26,309 --> 00:03:27,759
Then we never see our daughter
again, and --
106
00:03:27,793 --> 00:03:29,657
Just stick to the plan,
okay?
107
00:03:29,692 --> 00:03:31,383
Stay dead.
108
00:03:31,418 --> 00:03:32,729
Is this about
my ex girlfriend?
109
00:03:32,764 --> 00:03:33,523
[ Chuckles ] What?
110
00:03:33,558 --> 00:03:35,007
Is this about
my ex girlfriend?
111
00:03:35,042 --> 00:03:36,733
[ Scoffs ]
Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah.
112
00:03:36,768 --> 00:03:38,908
No! Babe, no.
113
00:03:38,942 --> 00:03:39,805
You can see her.
114
00:03:39,840 --> 00:03:41,048
When you're not pretending
to be dead,
115
00:03:41,082 --> 00:03:42,049
you can see her
all day long.
116
00:03:42,083 --> 00:03:43,050
I don't care.
Why?
117
00:03:43,084 --> 00:03:45,052
Do you think I'm jealous,
'cause she's a...
118
00:03:45,086 --> 00:03:46,640
Neurosurgeon?
What?
119
00:03:46,674 --> 00:03:47,917
She's a brain doctor, too?
120
00:03:47,951 --> 00:03:48,780
Yeah.
121
00:03:48,814 --> 00:03:50,506
[ Scoffs ]
No wonder she dumped you.
122
00:03:50,540 --> 00:03:52,784
[ Chuckles ] Okay.
123
00:03:52,818 --> 00:03:54,268
Idumped her.
124
00:03:54,303 --> 00:03:54,924
[ Organ music plays ]
125
00:03:54,958 --> 00:03:57,651
Hey. Hey.
Listen.
126
00:03:57,685 --> 00:03:59,515
Trust me,
everything's gonna be okay.
127
00:03:59,549 --> 00:04:01,033
Like, for real --
like, in a couple of hours,
128
00:04:01,068 --> 00:04:01,965
everything's
gonna be fine.
129
00:04:02,000 --> 00:04:04,623
You're a horrible woman.
130
00:04:04,658 --> 00:04:07,488
Oh...
131
00:04:07,523 --> 00:04:09,387
It will be okay, Mom.
132
00:04:09,421 --> 00:04:10,767
Mom?
133
00:04:10,802 --> 00:04:14,530
Yeah, it's what
I've always called her.
134
00:04:14,564 --> 00:04:15,910
Why?
What do you call her?
135
00:04:15,945 --> 00:04:17,705
I...don't call her.
136
00:04:17,740 --> 00:04:19,086
That's a shame.
137
00:04:19,120 --> 00:04:21,364
'Cause she's
an incredible woman.
138
00:04:21,399 --> 00:04:22,814
She's not.
139
00:04:22,848 --> 00:04:26,093
♪ Oh, ring-a-ding-dong,
the dipshit's dead ♪
140
00:04:26,127 --> 00:04:27,094
Hey!
141
00:04:27,128 --> 00:04:29,407
Gene.
Oh, Robin!
142
00:04:29,441 --> 00:04:32,375
Helen called me.
I got here as fast as I could.
143
00:04:32,410 --> 00:04:35,102
I'm so sorry
for your loss.
144
00:04:35,136 --> 00:04:38,001
But I got to say,
the tragedy...
145
00:04:38,036 --> 00:04:40,590
is doing wonders
for your figure, girl.
146
00:04:40,625 --> 00:04:42,834
Okay, okay. All right.
Yep. Let's --
147
00:04:42,868 --> 00:04:44,111
[ Scoffs ]
148
00:04:44,145 --> 00:04:46,734
Can't even console a woman
in America anymore.
149
00:04:46,769 --> 00:04:47,908
You can --
just not with your lips.
150
00:04:47,942 --> 00:04:50,600
Yeah. That's why I'm going
to Russia later this week.
151
00:04:50,635 --> 00:04:53,845
Find myself a Slavic bride --
easy going.
152
00:04:53,879 --> 00:04:54,846
But I don't wanna go.
153
00:04:54,880 --> 00:04:55,847
Yeah, you gotta do
what you gotta do, though.
154
00:04:55,881 --> 00:04:57,952
Give me a reason not to go.You should go.
155
00:04:57,987 --> 00:05:00,852
'Cause I'd rather buy American,
if you know what I mean.
156
00:05:00,886 --> 00:05:01,991
It's too soon, Gene.
157
00:05:02,025 --> 00:05:03,441
Gah!
158
00:05:03,475 --> 00:05:04,683
Well, I'm here till
of the end of the week
159
00:05:04,718 --> 00:05:06,444
in case you need something
to throw a leg over.
160
00:05:06,478 --> 00:05:07,514
Still too soon.
161
00:05:07,548 --> 00:05:09,550
In the meantime,
let's get this party started.
162
00:05:09,585 --> 00:05:11,759
That's what the dipshit
would have wanted.
163
00:05:11,794 --> 00:05:12,829
Okay.
164
00:05:12,864 --> 00:05:14,590
Whoo-whoo-whoo, whoo-whoo!Ooh-ooh.
165
00:05:14,624 --> 00:05:16,454
[ Singing indistinctly ][ Organ plays ]
166
00:05:16,488 --> 00:05:21,631
♪♪
167
00:05:21,666 --> 00:05:26,843
♪♪
168
00:05:26,878 --> 00:05:28,431
Gene: Okay!
[ Exhales sharply ]
169
00:05:28,466 --> 00:05:29,777
I'll get this thing rolling.
170
00:05:29,812 --> 00:05:33,125
Nate was a, um, idiot.
171
00:05:33,160 --> 00:05:34,575
[ Laughter ]
172
00:05:34,610 --> 00:05:36,991
He was a cuck.[ Laughter ]
173
00:05:37,026 --> 00:05:39,615
He was a terrible provider
for his family,
174
00:05:39,649 --> 00:05:42,790
but he was also...
175
00:05:42,825 --> 00:05:44,654
the worst employee
I ever had.
176
00:05:44,689 --> 00:05:48,727
[ Laughter ]
177
00:05:48,762 --> 00:05:50,004
Who's next?
178
00:05:50,039 --> 00:05:51,385
I'll go.
179
00:05:51,420 --> 00:05:53,767
My son was
such a wimp,
180
00:05:53,801 --> 00:05:58,496
he'd walk around saying,
"I broke my femur."
181
00:05:58,530 --> 00:06:00,498
[ Laughter ]
182
00:06:00,532 --> 00:06:02,603
I mean,
I had a C-section.
183
00:06:02,638 --> 00:06:06,504
How the hell did
my son get so much pussy in him?
184
00:06:06,538 --> 00:06:08,022
[ Laughter ]
185
00:06:08,057 --> 00:06:12,406
But we should focus on
the good things.
186
00:06:12,441 --> 00:06:16,099
Nate was with
a beautiful, talented,
187
00:06:16,134 --> 00:06:20,621
intelligent,
thoughtful woman.
188
00:06:20,656 --> 00:06:22,623
And he dumped her
189
00:06:22,658 --> 00:06:24,625
for ungrateful hooker.
190
00:06:24,660 --> 00:06:25,937
[ All gasping, murmuring ]
191
00:06:25,971 --> 00:06:27,939
Don't judge me.
192
00:06:27,973 --> 00:06:31,080
You were always above judgment,
weren't you, Helen?
193
00:06:31,114 --> 00:06:33,841
Well, look who decided
194
00:06:33,876 --> 00:06:38,846
to show his stupid, ugly,
negligent face.
195
00:06:38,881 --> 00:06:40,779
Old King Cuck.
196
00:06:40,814 --> 00:06:42,781
Excuse me.
Who are you?
197
00:06:42,816 --> 00:06:44,231
I'm Nate Parker.
198
00:06:44,265 --> 00:06:48,097
♪♪
199
00:06:48,131 --> 00:06:50,824
And that's my son
you're shitting on.
200
00:06:50,858 --> 00:06:57,727
♪♪
201
00:06:57,762 --> 00:07:00,040
Papa?
202
00:07:04,147 --> 00:07:05,459
[ Hushed ]
What the hell is going on?
203
00:07:05,494 --> 00:07:07,461
I thought he was dead
and now he's not.
204
00:07:07,496 --> 00:07:09,083
I need to see
what he looks like.
205
00:07:09,118 --> 00:07:11,603
Everybody's
blocking him.
206
00:07:11,638 --> 00:07:13,743
What the hell does he look like?
I need to see his face.
207
00:07:13,778 --> 00:07:16,884
♪♪
208
00:07:16,919 --> 00:07:18,817
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.What? What?!
209
00:07:18,852 --> 00:07:20,819
It's Blu Brown.
It's -- Oh, shit!
210
00:07:20,854 --> 00:07:23,235
Blu Brown![ Loud clattering ]
211
00:07:23,270 --> 00:07:25,099
[ Quietly ]
Shh! Shh!
212
00:07:25,134 --> 00:07:26,618
Blu Brown!
Blu Brown! Blu Brown.
213
00:07:26,653 --> 00:07:28,896
It's Blu Brown. It's Blu Brown.Sweetie, shh, shh.
You're freaking out.
214
00:07:28,931 --> 00:07:30,484
You're -- You're just saying
colors, baby.
215
00:07:30,519 --> 00:07:33,176
My dad -- My dad is Blu Brown.
He's actually Blu Brown.
216
00:07:33,211 --> 00:07:34,626
I don't know who that is.
217
00:07:34,661 --> 00:07:36,041
It's Southern Ontario's
Red Green.
218
00:07:36,076 --> 00:07:37,111
He's a provincial
treasure.
219
00:07:37,146 --> 00:07:39,148
What?
The beaver leader
for the damn lodge.
220
00:07:39,182 --> 00:07:40,356
Blue Brown.
221
00:07:40,390 --> 00:07:42,185
Well, if you get the Quebec
feed, it's Blue Brun, but...
222
00:07:42,220 --> 00:07:43,842
Blu Brown.
223
00:07:43,877 --> 00:07:45,775
It's pretty much a bylaw
to watch him.
224
00:07:45,810 --> 00:07:47,501
What?
It's actually
more of a mandate,
225
00:07:47,536 --> 00:07:49,641
'cause 40% of all Canadian TV
has to be Canadian.
226
00:07:49,676 --> 00:07:52,575
Slow down, slow down.Okay, sorry. Sorry, sorry.
227
00:07:52,610 --> 00:07:54,853
Look at me, overly apologizing,
that's where I get it.
228
00:07:54,888 --> 00:07:56,924
I'm half Canadian.
229
00:07:56,959 --> 00:07:59,064
So many things happening to me
right now.
230
00:07:59,099 --> 00:08:00,859
[ Inhales sharply ]
Oh, my God
231
00:08:00,894 --> 00:08:02,205
I'm having a deja blu.
232
00:08:02,240 --> 00:08:04,725
That's what he called flashbacks
on his show.
233
00:08:04,760 --> 00:08:06,520
Good! You get out of here
and take your --
234
00:08:06,555 --> 00:08:08,280
So, my dad walked out on me
on Christmas Day
235
00:08:08,315 --> 00:08:10,075
when I was really young,
okay?
236
00:08:10,110 --> 00:08:13,907
A couple years later, I found
this guy Blu Brown on TV.
237
00:08:13,941 --> 00:08:16,012
And it was like,
he seems really familiar,
238
00:08:16,047 --> 00:08:17,289
and now I know why.
239
00:08:17,324 --> 00:08:18,601
Check it out.
240
00:08:18,636 --> 00:08:21,052
[ Up-tempo music plays]
241
00:08:21,086 --> 00:08:26,609
♪♪
242
00:08:26,644 --> 00:08:29,060
[ Cheers and applause]
243
00:08:29,094 --> 00:08:30,233
Oh!
244
00:08:30,268 --> 00:08:31,925
Morning, beavers.
245
00:08:31,959 --> 00:08:33,236
How's it going, eh?
246
00:08:33,271 --> 00:08:35,066
So, how 'bout we whip up
some breakfast
247
00:08:35,100 --> 00:08:37,171
in the damn lodge.
248
00:08:37,206 --> 00:08:38,690
Who wants eggs?
249
00:08:38,725 --> 00:08:40,209
[ Cheering] Well, my goodness.
250
00:08:40,243 --> 00:08:43,695
Looks like she whipped up
a few English, eh?
251
00:08:43,730 --> 00:08:45,663
[ Laughter][ Laughs ]
252
00:08:45,697 --> 00:08:46,664
What are you
laughing at?
253
00:08:46,698 --> 00:08:49,183
What aren't you laughing at?
It's hilarious.
254
00:08:49,218 --> 00:08:51,116
-Hey, Blu! Blu!
-Blu! Blu!
255
00:08:51,151 --> 00:08:55,051
Oh, here comes
the catch of the day, eh?
256
00:08:55,086 --> 00:08:57,260
You boys get lucky
with those rods today?
257
00:08:57,295 --> 00:08:58,123
Did ya?All: Yeah!
258
00:08:58,158 --> 00:08:59,262
Yeah?
259
00:08:59,297 --> 00:09:03,197
Well, just remember,
it's not the size of your rod.
260
00:09:03,232 --> 00:09:05,924
It's how you wiggle
your worm, eh?
261
00:09:05,959 --> 00:09:07,995
What? It's wordplay. Yeah.
262
00:09:08,030 --> 00:09:09,583
It's cute.
It's not cute.
263
00:09:09,618 --> 00:09:13,863
Heh, heh. Yeah.
That's right.
264
00:09:13,898 --> 00:09:14,830
Beautiful hair there.
265
00:09:14,864 --> 00:09:16,935
There you go.
Give me a kiss right here.
266
00:09:16,970 --> 00:09:19,386
He seems like a pedophile.Hey, you shut your mouth.
267
00:09:19,420 --> 00:09:21,250
Okay, that is my father
you're talking about.
268
00:09:21,284 --> 00:09:25,254
[ Sniffs ]
[ Chuckles ]
269
00:09:25,288 --> 00:09:27,394
Mmm! Mmm.
270
00:09:27,428 --> 00:09:28,947
No! No!
271
00:09:28,982 --> 00:09:31,122
It was the '70s.
Don't be such a prude.
272
00:09:31,156 --> 00:09:33,089
That's not --Okay. You want funny?
273
00:09:33,124 --> 00:09:34,366
Please.
Watch this.
274
00:09:34,401 --> 00:09:35,160
Oh, God.
275
00:09:35,195 --> 00:09:37,162
[ Up-tempo music plays]
276
00:09:37,197 --> 00:09:42,823
♪♪
277
00:09:42,858 --> 00:09:45,136
[ Cheering, whistling]
278
00:09:47,138 --> 00:09:51,832
[ Cheers and applause ]
279
00:09:51,867 --> 00:09:55,042
[ Speaks French ]
280
00:09:59,288 --> 00:10:03,016
[ Continues in French ]
281
00:10:03,050 --> 00:10:06,019
Check under 'ze 'ood.
282
00:10:06,053 --> 00:10:07,054
[ Laughter ]
283
00:10:07,089 --> 00:10:08,849
This is so confusing.
How...
284
00:10:08,884 --> 00:10:10,989
How is this a character
in a kid's show?
285
00:10:11,024 --> 00:10:12,646
It started on
the Blu Brown show,
286
00:10:12,681 --> 00:10:14,855
but it was so friggin' popular,
they spun it off
287
00:10:14,890 --> 00:10:17,720
into its own salty
late-night series.
288
00:10:17,755 --> 00:10:19,066
Watch this clip.
This is funny.
289
00:10:19,101 --> 00:10:19,998
[ Audience whooping ]
290
00:10:20,033 --> 00:10:21,862
Boop!
Boo-boo-boo-boo-boo-boo.
291
00:10:21,897 --> 00:10:26,073
Hey! I'm getting the feeling
that you're not a real doctor.
292
00:10:26,108 --> 00:10:29,732
[ Laughter ][ Speaks French ]
293
00:10:29,767 --> 00:10:31,182
Boop.
294
00:10:31,216 --> 00:10:33,356
[ Laughs ]
[ Speaks French ]
295
00:10:33,391 --> 00:10:34,668
[ Horn honks ][ Laughter ]
296
00:10:34,703 --> 00:10:37,188
[ Speaks French ]
297
00:10:37,222 --> 00:10:38,327
[ Laughter]
298
00:10:38,361 --> 00:10:41,054
Because -- Oh, because her tits
are like the horns?
299
00:10:41,088 --> 00:10:42,676
What? No.
300
00:10:42,711 --> 00:10:45,092
The -- the --
The headlights.
301
00:10:45,127 --> 00:10:47,750
Then why is he
inflating them?
302
00:10:47,785 --> 00:10:50,339
Oh, my God. [ Scoffs ]
You just don't get it.
303
00:10:50,373 --> 00:10:51,823
Uh, yeah, I get it.
304
00:10:51,858 --> 00:10:53,687
I get that
he's incredibly objectifying.
305
00:10:53,722 --> 00:10:56,034
What's objectifying
about thinking she's a car?
306
00:10:56,069 --> 00:10:57,691
Okay, so what about
this Fidget guy?
307
00:10:57,726 --> 00:10:59,244
I mean, that's --
that's a little tone deaf
308
00:10:59,279 --> 00:11:01,143
for little people,
don't you --
What?
309
00:11:01,177 --> 00:11:04,042
He's called Fidget
'cause he's always fidgeting.
310
00:11:04,077 --> 00:11:06,251
That's how he always
loses his glasses
311
00:11:06,286 --> 00:11:08,391
and gets into
these ridiculous scenarios.
312
00:11:08,426 --> 00:11:09,254
That's not it.
313
00:11:09,289 --> 00:11:10,186
I gotta go talk to him.
314
00:11:10,221 --> 00:11:12,257
No, you're not.
You're dead. Stay dead.
315
00:11:12,292 --> 00:11:13,776
I have to talk
to my father.
Absolutely not.
316
00:11:13,811 --> 00:11:14,466
Don't you dare.
317
00:11:14,501 --> 00:11:15,985
I'll wear a disguise.
318
00:11:16,020 --> 00:11:20,714
After all my shows,
I'd play my signature song.
319
00:11:20,749 --> 00:11:23,061
It was called "Nate Song."[ Notes play ]
320
00:11:23,096 --> 00:11:25,374
It's about a little boy
named Nate Parker.
321
00:11:25,408 --> 00:11:28,101
[ Guitar plays ]
322
00:11:28,135 --> 00:11:33,071
♪♪
323
00:11:33,106 --> 00:11:34,935
♪ Oh, Nate, Nate
324
00:11:34,970 --> 00:11:37,213
♪ You are so, so great
325
00:11:37,248 --> 00:11:41,148
♪ You were torn away from me
in grade eight ♪
326
00:11:41,183 --> 00:11:45,152
♪ So many things
I should've saids ♪
327
00:11:45,187 --> 00:11:49,432
♪ Wish I taught ya
yer A to Zeds ♪
328
00:11:49,467 --> 00:11:52,159
♪ I bet you think
I'm not of your ilk ♪
329
00:11:52,194 --> 00:11:56,094
♪ But I know we love
our homo milk ♪
330
00:11:56,129 --> 00:12:00,167
♪ Oh, Nate, Nate, Nate,
you are so, so great ♪
331
00:12:00,202 --> 00:12:03,826
♪ Let's hop on the Rideau
and go for a skate ♪
332
00:12:03,861 --> 00:12:07,450
♪ When I'm on TV,
I'm a grade A kook ♪
333
00:12:07,485 --> 00:12:09,383
♪ When I'm off,
I just want to hug ya ♪
334
00:12:09,418 --> 00:12:11,765
♪ Like a big wool toque
335
00:12:11,800 --> 00:12:13,042
♪ Oh, boy
336
00:12:13,077 --> 00:12:15,113
♪ I wish I could see you Could see you.
337
00:12:15,148 --> 00:12:16,390
♪ Just know Just know...
338
00:12:16,425 --> 00:12:22,258
♪ I'm 1,609.34 kilometers away I'm 1,609.34 kilometers away
339
00:12:22,293 --> 00:12:24,847
Both: ♪ Oh, Nate, Nate
340
00:12:24,882 --> 00:12:26,849
♪ The great Nate
341
00:12:26,884 --> 00:12:30,404
♪ The greatest of the Nates
for greatness' sake ♪
342
00:12:30,439 --> 00:12:34,857
♪ Go, Nate, Nate,
the great Nate ♪
343
00:12:34,892 --> 00:12:37,066
♪ The greatest of the Nates
344
00:12:37,101 --> 00:12:39,482
♪ For greatness' sake
345
00:12:39,517 --> 00:12:41,346
[ Cheers and applause ]
346
00:12:41,381 --> 00:12:43,314
[ Sniffles ]
347
00:12:43,348 --> 00:12:46,110
[ Cheers continue ]
348
00:12:49,527 --> 00:12:51,909
I can't do this anymore!
Stop! Everyone stop!
349
00:12:51,943 --> 00:12:53,945
This isn't right.
350
00:12:53,980 --> 00:12:54,843
Blu Brown:
You're right.
351
00:12:54,877 --> 00:12:56,223
I should have done
a funny character
352
00:12:56,258 --> 00:12:57,293
and cheered everyone up.
353
00:12:57,328 --> 00:12:59,468
No. No.
My dad's still alive.
354
00:12:59,502 --> 00:13:00,918
What --I can't handle this anymore.
355
00:13:00,952 --> 00:13:03,092
Oh, shit.Dad, come out! Dad!
356
00:13:03,127 --> 00:13:04,507
Wh-- [ Groans ]
What are are you doing?
357
00:13:04,542 --> 00:13:06,475
Poor little dipshit's
in denial.
358
00:13:06,509 --> 00:13:08,373
Think's his dad's
the curtain.
359
00:13:08,408 --> 00:13:10,617
No, you dumb shithead,
he's actually alive.
360
00:13:10,651 --> 00:13:11,687
♪♪
361
00:13:11,721 --> 00:13:13,896
You're in shock, yeah?
There's no one behind there.
362
00:13:13,931 --> 00:13:15,518
Why don't you take a seat,
buddy?
363
00:13:15,553 --> 00:13:17,313
No, I'm done pretending.
364
00:13:17,348 --> 00:13:20,178
[ Grunts ]
365
00:13:20,213 --> 00:13:22,215
This is ridiculous!
366
00:13:22,249 --> 00:13:23,526
Someone help me
get down this curtain.
367
00:13:23,561 --> 00:13:25,390
I'll show you
he's still alive.Okay.
368
00:13:25,425 --> 00:13:26,460
He's just --
369
00:13:26,495 --> 00:13:28,221
[ Clanging ]
370
00:13:28,255 --> 00:13:29,360
What the...
371
00:13:29,394 --> 00:13:32,328
Dad, where --
Where are you?!
372
00:13:32,363 --> 00:13:33,605
What the...
373
00:13:33,640 --> 00:13:35,331
What the hell?
374
00:13:35,366 --> 00:13:37,126
Dad, what the hell?!
375
00:13:37,161 --> 00:13:40,198
What the...
376
00:13:40,233 --> 00:13:42,338
I-I-I swear
he was just here!
377
00:13:42,373 --> 00:13:43,926
[ Clattering ]You...
378
00:13:43,961 --> 00:13:46,239
I don't know what happened.
I...
379
00:13:46,273 --> 00:13:48,206
Well, then I guess
he really is dead, then.
380
00:13:48,241 --> 00:13:51,554
[ Murmuring ]
381
00:13:51,589 --> 00:13:52,624
[ Creaking ]What the --
382
00:13:52,659 --> 00:13:54,557
Dad?
383
00:13:54,592 --> 00:13:57,077
[ All shouting ][ Groans ]
384
00:13:57,112 --> 00:13:59,286
[ All murmuring ][ Coughs ]
385
00:13:59,321 --> 00:14:01,150
[ Groans ]
386
00:14:01,185 --> 00:14:02,220
Nate?
387
00:14:02,255 --> 00:14:04,947
[ Groans ]This is outrageous!
388
00:14:04,982 --> 00:14:07,260
[ Laughs ]How could you?!
389
00:14:07,294 --> 00:14:11,091
What?! What?! What?!
390
00:14:11,126 --> 00:14:14,232
Give it a rest, Mom.
I've seen enough.
391
00:14:14,267 --> 00:14:17,339
You guys
are unbelievable.
392
00:14:19,134 --> 00:14:20,307
[ Gene laughs ]
393
00:14:20,342 --> 00:14:23,448
Man, I got to tell you, Robin,
that thing I said earlier
394
00:14:23,483 --> 00:14:27,556
about consoling you sexually,
that stuff...still stands.
395
00:14:27,590 --> 00:14:29,006
No.
396
00:14:29,040 --> 00:14:30,110
Just so you know,
397
00:14:30,145 --> 00:14:32,664
I don't blame you
for any of this.
398
00:14:32,699 --> 00:14:35,564
Your mom told me
all about Robin.
399
00:14:35,598 --> 00:14:37,566
[ Exhales sharply ]It must be miserable.
400
00:14:37,600 --> 00:14:39,188
It's fine.
401
00:14:39,223 --> 00:14:43,434
If you need an escape,
I've got open arms,
402
00:14:43,468 --> 00:14:48,025
a warm bed,
and so much money.
403
00:14:48,059 --> 00:14:50,303
I'm fine.
404
00:14:50,337 --> 00:14:51,683
You know, I never
stopped loving you.
405
00:14:51,718 --> 00:14:52,995
[ Scoffs ]
Right?
406
00:14:53,030 --> 00:14:54,548
I know.
407
00:14:54,583 --> 00:14:55,446
Yeah?
408
00:14:55,480 --> 00:14:56,412
I can't. I can't --
409
00:14:56,447 --> 00:14:57,551
No, no. No, no.Oh!
410
00:14:57,586 --> 00:14:58,518
Stop, stop, stop.Hi. I'm right here.
411
00:14:58,552 --> 00:14:59,691
I'm here.
I'm right here.She's there.
412
00:14:59,726 --> 00:15:01,279
He's -- He's fine.
413
00:15:01,314 --> 00:15:02,556
He's fine. He's fine.He's -- He's gonna be okay.
414
00:15:02,591 --> 00:15:03,419
Yeah.
Thanks.
415
00:15:03,454 --> 00:15:06,284
This was the saddest
day of my life,
416
00:15:06,319 --> 00:15:07,699
and you ruined it.
417
00:15:07,734 --> 00:15:09,563
Oh, come on, Mom.
We were gonna tell you.
418
00:15:09,598 --> 00:15:12,497
We were backstage debating
and then Dad showed up --
419
00:15:12,532 --> 00:15:14,292
Hold on. Hold on!
420
00:15:14,327 --> 00:15:16,570
Why am I apologizing
to you? Okay?
421
00:15:16,605 --> 00:15:18,572
What kind of parent
tells their own kid
422
00:15:18,607 --> 00:15:20,195
that their father is dead?
423
00:15:20,229 --> 00:15:23,060
[ Weeping ]
424
00:15:23,094 --> 00:15:27,098
♪♪
425
00:15:27,133 --> 00:15:30,067
I'm gonna ignore
your obvious hypocrisy,
426
00:15:30,101 --> 00:15:33,035
since I'm sure it's difficult
rising from the dead
427
00:15:33,070 --> 00:15:35,313
after falling
from the ceiling.
428
00:15:35,348 --> 00:15:37,453
Speaking of which,
would you get up?
429
00:15:37,488 --> 00:15:38,765
I can't. Okay?
430
00:15:38,799 --> 00:15:40,732
I'm stuck in a chair.
431
00:15:40,767 --> 00:15:42,769
Why wouldn't you tell me
about Dad?
432
00:15:42,803 --> 00:15:44,529
Especially that dad?
433
00:15:44,564 --> 00:15:46,462
He's so awesome.
He's Canadian.
434
00:15:46,497 --> 00:15:48,050
There is nothing awesome
435
00:15:48,085 --> 00:15:50,363
about a nation
of average people.
436
00:15:50,397 --> 00:15:52,468
He was Blu Brown.
He was Fidget.
437
00:15:52,503 --> 00:15:54,746
He was a selfish shit rat
438
00:15:54,781 --> 00:15:58,336
who took our rent money
to buy his music lessons.
439
00:15:58,371 --> 00:16:01,339
To share his gift of song
with the world.
440
00:16:01,374 --> 00:16:04,204
Have you ever heard a grown man
with no talent
441
00:16:04,239 --> 00:16:07,069
practice saxophone
in a trailer?
442
00:16:07,104 --> 00:16:10,210
I wanted to cut
my [bleep] ears off.
443
00:16:10,245 --> 00:16:12,661
[ Saxophone plays off-key ]
444
00:16:16,147 --> 00:16:18,356
[ As Fidget ]
Oo, la, la!
445
00:16:18,391 --> 00:16:21,808
Look who's here
to cheer you up!
446
00:16:21,842 --> 00:16:25,570
C'est moi, Fidget!
447
00:16:25,605 --> 00:16:28,677
[ Speaks French ]
448
00:16:30,299 --> 00:16:32,784
This is your dead son,
you idiot.
449
00:16:32,819 --> 00:16:35,270
I was trying to...
450
00:16:35,304 --> 00:16:36,650
What?
451
00:16:36,685 --> 00:16:41,172
I'm Nate.
452
00:16:41,207 --> 00:16:43,381
F-From "Nate's Song."
453
00:16:43,416 --> 00:16:46,384
[ Normal voice ] No.
454
00:16:46,419 --> 00:16:48,110
"Nate's Song's" about me,
Nate.
455
00:16:48,145 --> 00:16:49,387
No, it's about --
It's about a little kid
456
00:16:49,422 --> 00:16:50,354
named Nate.
457
00:16:50,388 --> 00:16:52,701
Yeah, the hurt little child
inside of me.
458
00:16:52,735 --> 00:16:55,255
S-Still, I'm mean,
it's -- it's...
459
00:16:55,290 --> 00:16:57,395
I'm your son.
460
00:16:57,430 --> 00:16:59,811
Huh.
461
00:16:59,846 --> 00:17:01,399
That's -- That's it?
That's all you got?
462
00:17:01,434 --> 00:17:02,538
I --
463
00:17:02,573 --> 00:17:05,058
'Cause I got s-so much
to ask you.
464
00:17:05,093 --> 00:17:07,336
[ Laughs ]Like, "What's your real
origin story of Fidget?"
465
00:17:07,371 --> 00:17:09,545
Well, no. I mean, yes.
[ Laughs ] Yes, of course.
466
00:17:09,580 --> 00:17:10,684
I mean, who wouldn't
want to know that?
467
00:17:10,719 --> 00:17:11,789
There's so many fan theories
out there,
468
00:17:11,823 --> 00:17:13,273
but if you told everyone,
it'd break the Internet --
469
00:17:13,308 --> 00:17:15,551
French...
470
00:17:15,586 --> 00:17:16,690
midget.
471
00:17:16,725 --> 00:17:17,553
Oh.
472
00:17:17,588 --> 00:17:18,692
Mm-mm.
473
00:17:18,727 --> 00:17:21,833
That's offensive.
[ Scoffs ]
474
00:17:21,868 --> 00:17:23,628
Why'd you walk
out on me?
475
00:17:23,663 --> 00:17:25,458
Oh, boy, I can see
you're a couple elbows short
476
00:17:25,492 --> 00:17:27,356
of Kraft Dinner,
but it's okay.
477
00:17:27,391 --> 00:17:29,462
I forgive you
for holding me back.
478
00:17:29,496 --> 00:17:31,326
What?
479
00:17:31,360 --> 00:17:33,293
You retarded my gifts
for comedy and song
480
00:17:33,328 --> 00:17:34,329
for seven long years.
481
00:17:34,363 --> 00:17:35,571
No, man, you can't
use that word.
482
00:17:35,606 --> 00:17:37,746
Oh, and what is a woman
know about comedy?
483
00:17:37,780 --> 00:17:39,161
Next thing
you're gonna tell me is,
484
00:17:39,196 --> 00:17:41,301
I can't do
my Fretard character
485
00:17:41,336 --> 00:17:44,511
[ As Fretard ] Bonjour,
je m'appelle Fretard.
486
00:17:44,546 --> 00:17:46,168
Whoa!No, no. Holy shit.
487
00:17:46,203 --> 00:17:47,721
No.
You can't do that.
488
00:17:47,756 --> 00:17:49,585
Nate, you understand.
489
00:17:49,620 --> 00:17:52,623
Every transcendent artist
has to make a choice
490
00:17:52,657 --> 00:17:55,453
between what he loves...
491
00:17:55,488 --> 00:17:57,110
and his family.
492
00:17:57,145 --> 00:18:00,182
I love saying
I told you so.
493
00:18:00,217 --> 00:18:04,497
I needed a father.
494
00:18:04,531 --> 00:18:07,189
And that is exactly
the selfish behavior
495
00:18:07,224 --> 00:18:08,466
that I'm forgiving you for.
496
00:18:08,501 --> 00:18:09,881
What was I
supposed to be?
497
00:18:09,916 --> 00:18:10,986
A father to one,
498
00:18:11,020 --> 00:18:14,265
or Blu Brown, Fidget,
and Fretard to the world.
499
00:18:14,300 --> 00:18:15,887
Hold on --
how many people in this room
500
00:18:15,922 --> 00:18:17,510
know who this idiot is?
501
00:18:17,544 --> 00:18:18,787
[ All murmuring ]Okay!
502
00:18:18,821 --> 00:18:20,375
[ Nate's Mom Laughs ]
503
00:18:20,409 --> 00:18:21,238
Nate...
504
00:18:21,272 --> 00:18:23,274
it is not my fault
that your mother
505
00:18:23,309 --> 00:18:25,828
is half a two-nie shy
of two loonies, eh?
506
00:18:25,863 --> 00:18:28,417
She ought to get off the
Mickey's and the Du Mauriers.
507
00:18:28,452 --> 00:18:29,798
Speak English, please!
508
00:18:29,832 --> 00:18:31,351
Your mother was garage.
509
00:18:31,386 --> 00:18:34,389
She taught you nothing
but anger and hate.
510
00:18:34,423 --> 00:18:36,908
Yeah, you're right.
She did teach me that.
511
00:18:36,943 --> 00:18:39,497
And you know what else
she taught me?
512
00:18:39,532 --> 00:18:40,912
How to throw
a punch.
513
00:18:40,947 --> 00:18:42,500
Ah, shit.[ Up-beat music plays ]
514
00:18:42,535 --> 00:18:43,674
Oh!
515
00:18:43,708 --> 00:18:45,641
[ Heckles indistinctly ]
[ Chuckles ] Whoa!
516
00:18:45,676 --> 00:18:47,505
Not as fast as your old man,
are you?
517
00:18:47,540 --> 00:18:49,162
Shit!You know, in Tijuana,
518
00:18:49,197 --> 00:18:52,165
it costs 10 pesos
to watch a fidget fight.
519
00:18:52,200 --> 00:18:54,512
Of course,
they throw in a hand job.
520
00:18:54,547 --> 00:18:56,928
Come on, you pussy.
Get up and fight.
521
00:18:56,963 --> 00:18:58,689
[ Grunts ][ Clattering ]
522
00:18:58,723 --> 00:19:01,795
[ Blu Brown laughs ]
523
00:19:01,830 --> 00:19:03,383
Hit him!
524
00:19:03,418 --> 00:19:04,419
[ Panting ]
525
00:19:04,453 --> 00:19:06,731
You wouldn't hit
your own father, would you?
526
00:19:06,766 --> 00:19:08,664
[ Chuckles ]
527
00:19:08,699 --> 00:19:10,839
"Father."
528
00:19:10,873 --> 00:19:12,668
[ Snorts ]
529
00:19:12,703 --> 00:19:15,568
A father does whatever it takes
to keep his family together.
530
00:19:15,602 --> 00:19:18,536
Even when it comes
to doing crazy shit like this.
531
00:19:18,571 --> 00:19:19,675
[ Panting ]
532
00:19:19,710 --> 00:19:21,677
You're not my father.
533
00:19:21,712 --> 00:19:23,748
You could be
right about that.
534
00:19:23,783 --> 00:19:26,475
I was riding a lot of dick
back in the '70s.
535
00:19:26,510 --> 00:19:28,477
I just picked this idiot
to raise you,
536
00:19:28,512 --> 00:19:30,686
'cause he was the biggest cuck
in the world.
537
00:19:30,721 --> 00:19:34,311
♪♪
538
00:19:34,345 --> 00:19:37,590
Just go back to Canada,
you sad clown.
539
00:19:37,624 --> 00:19:44,493
♪♪
540
00:19:44,528 --> 00:19:51,431
♪♪
541
00:19:51,466 --> 00:19:57,886
♪♪
542
00:19:59,888 --> 00:20:01,579
[ Thunder rumbles ]
543
00:20:01,614 --> 00:20:07,999
♪♪
544
00:20:08,034 --> 00:20:09,104
Hey!
545
00:20:09,138 --> 00:20:11,762
Why are you here?
Why aren't you at Dad's funeral?
546
00:20:11,796 --> 00:20:13,004
I was just going there.
547
00:20:13,039 --> 00:20:14,454
Don't bother.
He's not dead.
548
00:20:14,489 --> 00:20:17,733
Mother[bleep]!
What a [bleeping]!
549
00:20:17,768 --> 00:20:18,734
I knew it!
550
00:20:18,769 --> 00:20:20,046
You know, I thought a lot
about what you said,
551
00:20:20,080 --> 00:20:21,461
and I want
to go with you.
552
00:20:21,496 --> 00:20:23,256
I like you so much more
than I like our parents.
553
00:20:23,291 --> 00:20:25,016
Do you really want
to go to Russia?
554
00:20:25,051 --> 00:20:27,053
They won't even
notice I'm gone.
555
00:20:27,087 --> 00:20:28,606
Where are they?
Where are they?
556
00:20:28,641 --> 00:20:29,918
I don't know!They were right here!
557
00:20:29,952 --> 00:20:32,334
I didn't see them, Nate.Oh, my God, you lose one,
558
00:20:32,369 --> 00:20:33,646
and now you're telling me
they're both gone.
559
00:20:33,680 --> 00:20:34,681
It's not my fault.
560
00:20:34,716 --> 00:20:36,062
God.
What, are they hiding?
561
00:20:36,096 --> 00:20:37,512
Huh? Are you in here?
562
00:20:37,546 --> 00:20:38,616
Huh? Hey, guys!
563
00:20:38,651 --> 00:20:39,893
You under here hiding?
564
00:20:39,928 --> 00:20:42,482
Oh!
565
00:20:42,517 --> 00:20:44,553
[ Chuckling ]
566
00:20:44,588 --> 00:20:46,279
Found 'em.
Yeah.
567
00:20:46,314 --> 00:20:48,971
This is why you don't take 'em
out of the glass case.
568
00:20:49,006 --> 00:20:50,628
Where do you think
Jared went?
569
00:20:50,663 --> 00:20:51,767
Who? Ah.
570
00:20:51,802 --> 00:20:52,975
I don't know.
He's around here somewhere.
571
00:20:53,010 --> 00:20:54,356
All right.
All right, let's go.
572
00:20:54,391 --> 00:20:56,496
Take your boxes.
Let's go.
Jared?
573
00:20:56,531 --> 00:20:57,808
Let's go.
574
00:20:57,842 --> 00:21:01,605
♪♪
39557
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