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1
00:00:05,139 --> 00:00:07,969
You know, I can now bite
my fingernails so evenly...
2
00:00:08,042 --> 00:00:10,201
I don't even need
to use a clipper anymore.
3
00:00:10,278 --> 00:00:11,970
But it's a pleasure to use clippers.
4
00:00:12,046 --> 00:00:15,411
Why gnaw away like a mental patient
when we have this elegant device?
5
00:00:18,953 --> 00:00:20,418
What if you're in prison?
6
00:00:20,488 --> 00:00:23,318
- You don't think they give clippers?
- No, it's like a weapon.
7
00:00:23,391 --> 00:00:25,789
You know what's really a weapon,
that big toenail.
8
00:00:25,860 --> 00:00:29,623
You let that grow for a month,
take it in the shower, it's like a shiv.
9
00:00:31,299 --> 00:00:32,730
I love prison.
10
00:00:32,800 --> 00:00:34,959
It is fascinating.
11
00:00:35,203 --> 00:00:38,500
Yeah, maybe someday.
12
00:00:44,345 --> 00:00:47,278
You want me to find
a poem about Susan?
13
00:00:47,348 --> 00:00:49,473
May she rest in peace.
14
00:00:49,951 --> 00:00:54,112
Well, we think it would be a nice touch
for the foundation literature.
15
00:00:54,222 --> 00:00:56,916
You have a favorite poet, George?
16
00:00:57,959 --> 00:01:01,460
I like Flavman.
17
00:01:02,663 --> 00:01:05,391
- Pardon?
- Flavman.
18
00:01:06,367 --> 00:01:09,163
Well, you should choose the poem
since you knew Susan best...
19
00:01:09,237 --> 00:01:13,171
at the time
of her unfortunate... accident.
20
00:01:17,378 --> 00:01:19,571
- He cleared his throat?
- Yes.
21
00:01:19,647 --> 00:01:20,975
So?
22
00:01:21,048 --> 00:01:24,584
He did it right as he said,
"Her unfortunate accident."
23
00:01:24,652 --> 00:01:25,946
Not getting it.
24
00:01:26,020 --> 00:01:28,884
Jerry, a throat clear is a non-verbal
implication of doubt.
25
00:01:28,956 --> 00:01:30,489
He thinks I killed Susan.
26
00:01:30,558 --> 00:01:33,388
Oh, help me, Rhonda.
27
00:01:34,996 --> 00:01:37,155
- What time is it?
- One-fifteen.
28
00:01:37,231 --> 00:01:38,821
Right now?
29
00:01:39,634 --> 00:01:41,497
I gotta go meet Pam.
30
00:01:41,569 --> 00:01:43,500
Oh, the bookstore girl.
How's that going?
31
00:01:43,571 --> 00:01:46,333
Okay. I'm just not gaga over her.
32
00:01:46,407 --> 00:01:47,997
For once, I'd like to be gaga.
33
00:01:48,075 --> 00:01:49,403
Where's Elaine?
34
00:01:49,477 --> 00:01:51,272
She's having Carol,
Gail and Lisa over.
35
00:01:51,345 --> 00:01:52,912
You know, they all have kids now.
36
00:01:52,980 --> 00:01:54,945
What's with all these people
having babies?
37
00:01:55,016 --> 00:01:57,516
- Perpetuation of the species.
- Yeah, right.
38
00:01:57,919 --> 00:02:00,579
- By the way, just for the record...
- No, I did not.
39
00:02:00,655 --> 00:02:02,279
All right.
40
00:02:03,257 --> 00:02:07,350
But because it comes out
of your baby, it smells good.
41
00:02:08,362 --> 00:02:11,363
Well, that's... That's sweet.
42
00:02:11,432 --> 00:02:14,695
Being a mother
has made me feel so beautiful.
43
00:02:15,369 --> 00:02:19,405
Elaine, you gotta have a baby.
44
00:02:19,473 --> 00:02:21,666
Oh, hey, you know...
45
00:02:21,742 --> 00:02:23,275
I had a piece of whitefish...
46
00:02:23,344 --> 00:02:26,106
over at Barney Greengrass
the other day and l...
47
00:02:26,414 --> 00:02:29,972
Elaine, move to Long lsland
and have a baby already.
48
00:02:30,051 --> 00:02:33,245
- I really like the city.
- The city's a toilet.
49
00:02:33,321 --> 00:02:35,548
When's the last time
you saw my little Adam?
50
00:02:35,623 --> 00:02:37,486
It was in the Hamptons.
51
00:02:37,558 --> 00:02:40,149
- Oh, I have pictures.
- No, no, that's okay. It's...
52
00:02:40,227 --> 00:02:43,922
Look at him, just look at him.
53
00:02:45,599 --> 00:02:48,668
Elaine was telling me about
this whitefish she had the other day.
54
00:02:48,736 --> 00:02:51,100
Do you really think I'm wrong
about this Wyck guy?
55
00:02:51,172 --> 00:02:52,830
If you really wanna test him out...
56
00:02:52,907 --> 00:02:54,907
why don't you try
the Jerry Lewis trick?
57
00:02:54,976 --> 00:02:57,510
- Jerry Lewis?
- I heard when Jerry left a meeting...
58
00:02:57,578 --> 00:03:00,476
he'd purposely leave a briefcase
with a tape recorder in it.
59
00:03:00,548 --> 00:03:04,106
After five minutes, he'd come back,
listen to what everyone said.
60
00:03:04,185 --> 00:03:05,877
- That's pretty paranoid.
- Yes, it is.
61
00:03:05,953 --> 00:03:08,453
- I like it.
- I thought you might.
62
00:03:10,524 --> 00:03:12,683
Hi, I'm Pam.
63
00:03:12,760 --> 00:03:14,088
You must be Kramer.
64
00:03:15,663 --> 00:03:18,926
Jerry has told me a lot about you.
65
00:03:20,167 --> 00:03:23,759
Well, I'm supposed to meet Jerry.
It's my day off.
66
00:03:24,071 --> 00:03:25,604
I work in a bookstore.
67
00:03:25,973 --> 00:03:27,938
Books.
68
00:03:29,443 --> 00:03:31,170
Careful.
69
00:03:33,647 --> 00:03:34,975
- Hi. Sorry I'm late.
- Hi.
70
00:03:35,049 --> 00:03:36,582
That's okay. Kramer let me in.
71
00:03:36,650 --> 00:03:38,615
If we rush,
we can still make the movie.
72
00:03:38,686 --> 00:03:41,016
It was really nice meeting you.
73
00:03:48,462 --> 00:03:49,790
I'm in trouble, buddy.
74
00:03:49,864 --> 00:03:51,295
I just met a woman.
75
00:03:51,365 --> 00:03:53,126
- Go on.
- Well...
76
00:03:54,235 --> 00:03:56,030
she's Jerry's girlfriend.
77
00:03:56,103 --> 00:03:58,569
Yes, forbidden love.
78
00:03:58,639 --> 00:04:00,536
She works in a bookshop.
79
00:04:00,608 --> 00:04:03,302
- Her name is Pam.
- Pam.
80
00:04:03,377 --> 00:04:06,810
I don't know the woman,
but she sounds quite fetching.
81
00:04:06,881 --> 00:04:09,347
I can't even speak in front of her.
82
00:04:09,417 --> 00:04:10,643
Jerry.
83
00:04:10,718 --> 00:04:13,787
What could she possibly see
in Jerry?
84
00:04:15,656 --> 00:04:17,485
She has delicate beauty.
85
00:04:17,558 --> 00:04:20,559
Jerry wouldn't know delicate
if it bludgeoned him over the head.
86
00:04:20,628 --> 00:04:23,561
And yet, he's my friend.
87
00:04:23,631 --> 00:04:25,824
And therein lies the tragedy.
88
00:04:25,900 --> 00:04:29,026
For I believe, sadly for you...
89
00:04:29,103 --> 00:04:32,434
that there is but one woman
meant for each of us.
90
00:04:32,506 --> 00:04:36,007
One perfect angel
for whom we are put on this earth.
91
00:04:36,077 --> 00:04:37,576
Oh, that's beautiful, Newman.
92
00:04:37,645 --> 00:04:39,645
One winsome tulip...
93
00:04:39,713 --> 00:04:44,773
we ceaselessly yearn for throughout
our dreary workaday lives...
94
00:04:44,852 --> 00:04:48,945
and you, my friend,
have found your angel.
95
00:04:49,023 --> 00:04:50,715
I can tell...
96
00:04:50,791 --> 00:04:54,691
for my heart has also been captured
by a breathless beauty...
97
00:04:54,762 --> 00:04:57,387
whom I fear I will never possess.
98
00:04:57,465 --> 00:04:59,465
I thought we were talking about me.
99
00:04:59,533 --> 00:05:01,533
Oh, right.
100
00:05:01,602 --> 00:05:03,897
Kramer, you have to confront Jerry.
101
00:05:03,971 --> 00:05:05,698
- Confront Jerry? I can't.
- You must.
102
00:05:05,773 --> 00:05:08,068
- I won't.
- You will.
103
00:05:08,142 --> 00:05:12,372
"Elaine, you gotta have a baby."
104
00:05:13,114 --> 00:05:14,806
Where are the poetry magazines?
105
00:05:14,882 --> 00:05:16,540
The New Yorker has poetry.
106
00:05:16,617 --> 00:05:18,947
Yes, The New Yorker.
107
00:05:19,019 --> 00:05:21,883
Why do you invite these women over
if they annoy you so much?
108
00:05:21,956 --> 00:05:23,284
Well, they're my friends...
109
00:05:23,357 --> 00:05:26,722
but they act as if having a baby
takes some kind of talent.
110
00:05:26,794 --> 00:05:28,589
Come on. You wanna have a baby.
111
00:05:28,662 --> 00:05:32,095
- Why? Because I can?
- It's the life force.
112
00:05:32,166 --> 00:05:34,063
I saw a show
on the mollusk last night.
113
00:05:34,135 --> 00:05:36,726
Elaine, the mollusk travels
from Alaska to Chile...
114
00:05:36,804 --> 00:05:38,667
just for a shot at another mollusk.
115
00:05:38,739 --> 00:05:40,067
You think you're any better?
116
00:05:40,141 --> 00:05:43,472
Yes, I think I am better
than the mollusk.
117
00:05:43,544 --> 00:05:46,306
Excuse me, I couldn't help
overhearing what you were saying.
118
00:05:46,380 --> 00:05:48,971
- Oh, I'm sorry...
- No, no, I think I agree with you.
119
00:05:49,049 --> 00:05:51,515
I mean, all this talk
about having babies.
120
00:05:51,585 --> 00:05:53,312
Yeah, like you must procreate.
121
00:05:53,387 --> 00:05:55,148
Besides, anyone can do it.
122
00:05:55,222 --> 00:05:57,449
Oh, it's been done to death.
123
00:05:59,426 --> 00:06:02,188
I should have a poem
very soon now.
124
00:06:02,263 --> 00:06:04,558
Are you okay, George?
125
00:06:04,632 --> 00:06:05,994
No, no.
126
00:06:06,734 --> 00:06:08,563
Not really.
127
00:06:09,737 --> 00:06:14,934
Ever since Susan passed on,
I have good days and bad.
128
00:06:15,743 --> 00:06:19,904
Some days I'm haunted
by one word:
129
00:06:19,980 --> 00:06:21,672
Why?
130
00:06:21,782 --> 00:06:23,782
Why Susan?
131
00:06:24,451 --> 00:06:28,248
Why wasn't it me
licking those invitations?
132
00:06:28,722 --> 00:06:30,881
Why am I still here?
133
00:06:32,760 --> 00:06:34,589
But I gotta run.
134
00:06:42,102 --> 00:06:45,330
Now, the stock options
for this year look quite...
135
00:06:53,214 --> 00:06:55,043
Briefcase.
136
00:06:58,719 --> 00:07:01,049
So, Kevin, if I don't want children...
137
00:07:01,121 --> 00:07:03,416
does that make me
a bad humanitarian?
138
00:07:03,490 --> 00:07:05,717
- Not at all.
- Because when you get to know me...
139
00:07:05,793 --> 00:07:08,191
you'll see that I'm
a pretty good humanitarian.
140
00:07:08,262 --> 00:07:11,195
You are doing a wonderful job,
by the way.
141
00:07:11,265 --> 00:07:14,334
- Thanks a lot.
- Right? Am I right?
142
00:07:14,568 --> 00:07:19,662
Kramer, Kramer, come here,
look at my new friend Kevin.
143
00:07:20,941 --> 00:07:22,668
Oh, you got a little...
144
00:07:23,077 --> 00:07:24,542
- You got...
- Oh, yeah.
145
00:07:24,612 --> 00:07:27,510
I just had two
double-fudge sundaes.
146
00:07:27,581 --> 00:07:29,342
Oh, are you all right?
147
00:07:29,416 --> 00:07:31,177
Yeah, I'll be okay.
148
00:07:32,286 --> 00:07:35,753
You know, Jerry has one of those
every time he bombs on stage.
149
00:07:35,823 --> 00:07:38,187
I'm sure he'll be sharing
his next one with Pam.
150
00:07:38,259 --> 00:07:39,758
Oh, no, that won't last.
151
00:07:39,827 --> 00:07:41,918
- What do you mean?
- He's not gaga.
152
00:07:49,770 --> 00:07:51,462
Let me tell you. That Jerry Lewis...
153
00:07:51,538 --> 00:07:53,367
you wonder how people
get to the top?
154
00:07:53,474 --> 00:07:55,872
It's ideas like this. Brilliant.
155
00:07:56,877 --> 00:07:58,569
Look at this.
What the hell happened?
156
00:07:58,646 --> 00:08:03,877
The whole side is damaged here,
and the lock is broken.
157
00:08:03,951 --> 00:08:06,246
- How long did you leave it there?
- Five minutes.
158
00:08:06,453 --> 00:08:07,781
What the hell happened here?
159
00:08:07,855 --> 00:08:10,446
Play the tape.
Maybe we'll get a clue.
160
00:08:11,292 --> 00:08:13,587
I have to rewind it first.
161
00:08:31,412 --> 00:08:33,139
All right. All right.
162
00:08:33,213 --> 00:08:35,804
Did anyone notice
George's fingernails?
163
00:08:35,883 --> 00:08:40,477
Oh, my, yes, they look like
they were eaten away by weevils.
164
00:08:40,554 --> 00:08:43,748
It's kind of hot in here.
Open the window.
165
00:08:44,425 --> 00:08:46,152
Hey, what are you doing?
166
00:08:46,226 --> 00:08:48,726
Dear God!
167
00:08:51,932 --> 00:08:53,260
Is that it?
168
00:08:53,901 --> 00:08:56,492
- It stopped dead.
- What do you make of it?
169
00:08:57,171 --> 00:08:58,932
I don't know.
170
00:08:59,940 --> 00:09:02,270
Jerry, can we talk?
171
00:09:02,343 --> 00:09:03,671
Kind of busy here.
172
00:09:03,744 --> 00:09:07,041
- I'd like to talk to Jerry in private.
- Why can't I stay?
173
00:09:07,114 --> 00:09:08,841
Because it doesn't concern you.
174
00:09:08,916 --> 00:09:11,951
Well, if it doesn't concern me,
then I can stay.
175
00:09:21,362 --> 00:09:23,623
- So, what's on your mind?
- It's Pam.
176
00:09:23,697 --> 00:09:26,027
- Pam? What about Pam?
- I love her, Jerry.
177
00:09:26,567 --> 00:09:28,567
- You what?
- I love her.
178
00:09:28,635 --> 00:09:32,034
- Is that right?
- Oh, she's... She's real.
179
00:09:32,106 --> 00:09:35,664
She can bring home the bacon
and fry it in the pan.
180
00:09:36,110 --> 00:09:39,543
- What does that mean?
- Oh, and that voice.
181
00:09:39,613 --> 00:09:43,205
- What about her name?
- Pam? Oh, it's a beautiful name.
182
00:09:44,017 --> 00:09:45,709
Pam.
183
00:09:46,120 --> 00:09:47,983
Pam?
184
00:09:48,422 --> 00:09:50,183
Pam!
185
00:09:50,858 --> 00:09:53,290
- She's got really nice hair.
- Oh, it's incredible.
186
00:09:53,360 --> 00:09:55,451
Although, I might replace
her tortoise clip...
187
00:09:55,529 --> 00:09:58,325
with one of those velvet scrunchies.
I love those.
188
00:09:58,532 --> 00:10:00,190
You've got really specific tastes.
189
00:10:00,267 --> 00:10:01,766
Oh, I know what I want, Jerry.
190
00:10:02,169 --> 00:10:03,566
She got nice calves.
191
00:10:03,637 --> 00:10:07,366
Oh, she's a dreamboat,
but you don't like her.
192
00:10:07,441 --> 00:10:09,566
Maybe I could.
You're making some good points.
193
00:10:09,643 --> 00:10:11,643
- No, you can't, Jerry.
- But I might.
194
00:10:11,712 --> 00:10:13,302
- Oh, no, you don't.
- Why not?
195
00:10:13,380 --> 00:10:15,311
- The voice, the calves, the bacon.
- What?
196
00:10:15,382 --> 00:10:18,246
I think I can.
I even like the name Pam.
197
00:10:18,318 --> 00:10:19,680
Pam. Pam.
198
00:10:31,832 --> 00:10:33,593
So now he wants her
more than ever.
199
00:10:33,667 --> 00:10:35,132
Blast.
200
00:10:36,170 --> 00:10:37,601
What am I gonna do, huh?
201
00:10:37,671 --> 00:10:40,171
Don't despair, my friend.
202
00:10:42,709 --> 00:10:47,041
I won't allow your love
to go unrequited, not like mine.
203
00:10:47,114 --> 00:10:48,613
What, again with you?
204
00:10:48,682 --> 00:10:50,010
Sorry.
205
00:10:50,083 --> 00:10:53,084
But love is a spice
with many tastes...
206
00:10:53,153 --> 00:10:58,122
a dizzying array of textures
and moments.
207
00:10:59,059 --> 00:11:01,389
If only I could say things like that
around her.
208
00:11:01,462 --> 00:11:03,723
Yes.
209
00:11:04,965 --> 00:11:07,056
Well, I hear three distinct sounds:
210
00:11:07,134 --> 00:11:09,065
A low rumple...
211
00:11:09,136 --> 00:11:11,830
followed by a metallic squink...
212
00:11:11,905 --> 00:11:13,836
Yes, yes, I heard the squink.
213
00:11:13,907 --> 00:11:17,909
Followed by a mysterious galonk.
214
00:11:18,378 --> 00:11:20,742
It's a real baffler, isn't it?
215
00:11:20,814 --> 00:11:23,439
Well, one question
does come to mind.
216
00:11:24,985 --> 00:11:30,682
Have you considered just asking them
what happened to the briefcase?
217
00:11:31,492 --> 00:11:32,820
They would never tell me.
218
00:11:33,293 --> 00:11:36,226
First of all, they probably think
that I killed Susan.
219
00:11:36,296 --> 00:11:38,864
Besides, I don't even think
they like me.
220
00:11:38,932 --> 00:11:41,432
That Pam. I am gaga over her.
221
00:11:41,502 --> 00:11:43,001
"Gaga"? When did that happen?
222
00:11:43,070 --> 00:11:45,502
Yesterday, 6-ish.
223
00:11:46,740 --> 00:11:50,037
Well, maybe we should double.
I'm pretty gaga myself.
224
00:11:50,110 --> 00:11:51,837
You just met the guy yesterday.
225
00:11:51,912 --> 00:11:53,604
Yeah, but we have a common goal.
226
00:11:53,680 --> 00:11:57,011
A barren, sterile existence
that ends when you die?
227
00:11:58,218 --> 00:12:00,047
Yeah.
228
00:12:00,721 --> 00:12:02,846
You believe this guy
doesn't wanna have kids?
229
00:12:02,923 --> 00:12:05,685
- Yeah, of course.
- A guy will say anything to a woman.
230
00:12:05,759 --> 00:12:07,690
Oh, please, he wouldn't say that.
231
00:12:07,761 --> 00:12:11,024
Elaine, I once told a woman
that I coined the phrase:
232
00:12:11,098 --> 00:12:12,529
"Pardon my French."
233
00:12:14,868 --> 00:12:18,904
I once told a woman I don't eat cake
because it goes right to my thighs.
234
00:12:20,474 --> 00:12:24,032
Once told a woman
I enjoy spending time with my family.
235
00:12:27,247 --> 00:12:31,113
Your looks and my words
will have built the perfect beast.
236
00:12:31,184 --> 00:12:32,808
All right.
237
00:12:41,028 --> 00:12:44,564
- Oh, hi, Kramer.
- Hi, how are you?
238
00:12:44,631 --> 00:12:46,699
Hi, how are you?
239
00:12:47,334 --> 00:12:49,595
- I'm great.
- I too am well.
240
00:12:49,670 --> 00:12:51,499
I too am well.
241
00:12:52,739 --> 00:12:55,569
- Do I smell Pantene?
- Do I smell...?
242
00:12:56,310 --> 00:12:57,900
- Pantene!
- Pantene?
243
00:12:59,112 --> 00:13:00,907
Oh, my shampoo.
244
00:13:00,981 --> 00:13:02,673
Yeah, yeah, you know,
it is Pantene.
245
00:13:02,749 --> 00:13:05,283
I got a free sample of it
in with my junk mail.
246
00:13:05,352 --> 00:13:07,079
There really is no junk mail.
247
00:13:07,154 --> 00:13:09,222
Everybody wants a check
or birthday card...
248
00:13:09,289 --> 00:13:12,790
It requires just as much manpower
to deliver as their precious cards...
249
00:13:12,859 --> 00:13:15,086
Newman.
250
00:13:15,162 --> 00:13:16,889
What?
251
00:13:17,798 --> 00:13:19,126
Human. Human.
252
00:13:19,199 --> 00:13:23,702
It's human to be moved
by a fragrance.
253
00:13:23,770 --> 00:13:25,132
That's so true.
254
00:13:25,205 --> 00:13:28,570
Her bouquet cleaved his hardened...
255
00:13:28,642 --> 00:13:30,869
- Shell.
- Shell
256
00:13:30,944 --> 00:13:34,377
And fondled his muscled heart
257
00:13:35,215 --> 00:13:38,148
He imbibed her glistening spell
258
00:13:38,218 --> 00:13:42,311
Just before the other shoe fell
259
00:13:42,789 --> 00:13:44,982
Kramer, that is so lovely.
260
00:13:45,325 --> 00:13:49,293
It's by an unknown
20th century poet.
261
00:13:49,363 --> 00:13:52,489
- Oh, what's him name?
- Newman.
262
00:13:55,202 --> 00:13:58,100
Elaine, you changed my life.
263
00:13:58,171 --> 00:14:02,833
Oh, Kevin, you can go on and on
about how you don't want kids...
264
00:14:02,909 --> 00:14:05,375
and it sounds...
It sounds really nice...
265
00:14:05,445 --> 00:14:09,948
but the truth is, I don't know
if you mean it or not.
266
00:14:10,017 --> 00:14:12,142
I got a vasectomy this morning.
267
00:14:13,787 --> 00:14:16,913
Although, I have a hunch
you mean it.
268
00:14:19,192 --> 00:14:20,691
I just came by to tell you...
269
00:14:20,761 --> 00:14:25,992
I'm really, really happy
about this relationship. Really happy.
270
00:14:26,066 --> 00:14:30,296
Oh, well, that's nice.
271
00:14:34,341 --> 00:14:36,272
A velvet scrunchie.
272
00:14:38,612 --> 00:14:40,202
Kramer.
273
00:14:46,253 --> 00:14:47,786
Hello, Newman.
274
00:14:48,021 --> 00:14:49,645
Hello, Jerry.
275
00:14:49,723 --> 00:14:51,051
How's Pam?
276
00:14:51,124 --> 00:14:53,454
Pam? What do you care?
277
00:14:57,097 --> 00:14:58,789
Well, ta-ta.
278
00:14:59,833 --> 00:15:01,992
Wait a minute.
279
00:15:29,996 --> 00:15:31,723
All right, Newman, this is it.
280
00:15:31,798 --> 00:15:33,092
Steady, Jerry.
281
00:15:33,166 --> 00:15:35,860
Steady. Wouldn't wanna
lose your cool at a time like this.
282
00:15:35,936 --> 00:15:38,334
- Why not?
- Because right now...
283
00:15:38,405 --> 00:15:40,973
I'm the only chance you've got.
284
00:15:44,845 --> 00:15:45,934
Come on.
285
00:15:48,682 --> 00:15:50,807
I can't believe I'm losing Pam.
286
00:15:50,884 --> 00:15:52,508
I know how you feel...
287
00:15:52,586 --> 00:15:54,950
for I too have a woman
for whom I pine.
288
00:15:55,021 --> 00:15:57,954
- I thought we were talking about me.
- Right.
289
00:15:58,024 --> 00:16:00,092
Anyway, I don't need your help.
290
00:16:00,160 --> 00:16:02,125
Oh, don't you, joke boy?
291
00:16:03,764 --> 00:16:06,765
You really think you can manipulate
that beautiful young woman...
292
00:16:06,833 --> 00:16:09,424
Iike the half-soused,
nightclub rabble...
293
00:16:09,503 --> 00:16:13,039
that lap up your inane
"observations"?
294
00:16:14,107 --> 00:16:15,504
All right, Newman.
295
00:16:15,575 --> 00:16:18,269
What do I to get you to stop
pulling strings for Kramer?
296
00:16:18,345 --> 00:16:21,380
Well, there is a little something
you can do for me.
297
00:16:21,448 --> 00:16:22,810
Come on, out with it.
298
00:16:22,883 --> 00:16:25,417
It's about Elaine.
299
00:16:25,485 --> 00:16:27,109
Elaine? What does she have to...?
300
00:16:28,789 --> 00:16:31,449
Oh, no.
301
00:16:32,425 --> 00:16:34,857
You dated her.
Give me some inside information.
302
00:16:34,928 --> 00:16:36,586
Anything I can use.
303
00:16:36,863 --> 00:16:38,794
Well, I know she doesn't
wanna have kids.
304
00:16:42,002 --> 00:16:45,128
I thought you'd be
a little more enthusiastic about it.
305
00:16:45,572 --> 00:16:49,938
I know. I don't want... kids.
306
00:16:50,010 --> 00:16:52,305
- What was that?
- Well...
307
00:16:52,379 --> 00:16:54,174
Kevin, maybe I have a little doubt.
308
00:16:54,247 --> 00:16:56,315
I mean, nothing is 100 percent.
309
00:16:56,383 --> 00:16:58,348
This is.
310
00:16:58,885 --> 00:17:02,182
- Oh, boy, I always do this.
- What?
311
00:17:02,255 --> 00:17:05,722
I get all jazzed up about something,
and I go way too far with it.
312
00:17:05,792 --> 00:17:07,189
- Really?
- Oh, yeah.
313
00:17:07,260 --> 00:17:10,796
Like last summer, I'm watching TV
and I saw one of those jet skis.
314
00:17:11,832 --> 00:17:14,594
Four thousand dollars later,
and it's sitting in my garage.
315
00:17:14,668 --> 00:17:17,999
You know, that's weird actually,
because I'm sort of the same way.
316
00:17:18,071 --> 00:17:21,766
I mean, once for, like, no reason,
I flattened my hair...
317
00:17:21,842 --> 00:17:25,673
and I had all these strands
hanging in my face all the time.
318
00:17:25,745 --> 00:17:29,941
Sometimes I think I do want kids,
maybe a lot of kids.
319
00:17:30,016 --> 00:17:33,017
Sometimes I think about
wearing my hair real short.
320
00:17:33,086 --> 00:17:37,384
Yeah, I think I like short hair,
really short.
321
00:17:37,457 --> 00:17:39,184
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
322
00:17:43,263 --> 00:17:47,527
This is a crude mock-up
of the conference room.
323
00:17:47,601 --> 00:17:49,168
One-fourteenth scale.
324
00:17:49,402 --> 00:17:50,867
When did you build this thing?
325
00:17:50,937 --> 00:17:53,267
Yesterday. Took the day off.
326
00:17:53,773 --> 00:17:58,401
Now, from the time
that I left the room...
327
00:17:58,478 --> 00:18:00,705
- Wait. That's you?
- Yeah.
328
00:18:01,014 --> 00:18:02,843
I think the M&M should be you.
329
00:18:09,122 --> 00:18:11,053
All right, whatever.
330
00:18:11,658 --> 00:18:15,626
Now, whatever caused
the damage...
331
00:18:15,695 --> 00:18:20,061
it was jarring enough
to completely stop the tape.
332
00:18:20,133 --> 00:18:22,997
- And?
- Okay.
333
00:18:23,069 --> 00:18:25,364
That's what we know.
334
00:18:25,939 --> 00:18:28,735
- But we already knew that.
- Well, yeah.
335
00:18:28,808 --> 00:18:31,900
Just give me some idea
what you think it could be.
336
00:18:32,212 --> 00:18:34,780
- I don't know if you're ready for it.
- Please.
337
00:18:35,282 --> 00:18:39,546
I believe that I'm about
to become the target...
338
00:18:39,619 --> 00:18:42,984
of a systematic process
of intimidation and manipulation...
339
00:18:43,056 --> 00:18:46,353
- the likes of which...
- Hold it. You're right. I'm not ready.
340
00:18:49,329 --> 00:18:50,657
- Yeah?
- It's Pam.
341
00:18:50,730 --> 00:18:53,560
Come on up. All right, it's Pam.
You gotta get going.
342
00:18:53,633 --> 00:18:55,200
I'm not through here, Jerry.
343
00:18:55,268 --> 00:18:57,393
I'm gonna keep on investigating.
344
00:18:57,737 --> 00:18:59,202
This thing is like an onion.
345
00:18:59,272 --> 00:19:03,775
The more layers you peel,
the more it stinks.
346
00:19:08,415 --> 00:19:09,812
What was that?
347
00:19:09,883 --> 00:19:11,951
We were just playing.
348
00:19:13,520 --> 00:19:16,088
Listen, I had a long talk
with Kramer today.
349
00:19:17,057 --> 00:19:21,218
Well, the thing is l...
I think I have a little crush on him.
350
00:19:22,762 --> 00:19:24,090
I'm so happy.
351
00:19:24,164 --> 00:19:26,129
My world suddenly has meaning.
352
00:19:26,199 --> 00:19:28,324
This is the man
you have a crush on?
353
00:19:28,401 --> 00:19:30,469
Well, I have feelings for both of you.
354
00:19:30,537 --> 00:19:32,571
You have feelings for him?
We're soul mates.
355
00:19:32,639 --> 00:19:34,400
Why can't I be a soul mate?
356
00:19:34,474 --> 00:19:38,305
Jerry, you really think Pam would want
you to be the father of her children?
357
00:19:38,378 --> 00:19:39,809
Children?
358
00:19:39,879 --> 00:19:42,812
Who said anything about children?
I don't wanna have children.
359
00:19:46,453 --> 00:19:47,986
There are people in this room...
360
00:19:48,054 --> 00:19:53,114
who would've been very happy
to never see this briefcase again.
361
00:19:53,827 --> 00:19:55,360
There are people in this room...
362
00:19:55,428 --> 00:19:58,088
who think they can destroy
other people's property...
363
00:19:58,164 --> 00:19:59,993
and get away with it.
364
00:20:00,433 --> 00:20:02,797
Well, let me tell you something
about those people.
365
00:20:02,869 --> 00:20:05,494
They weren't
counting on this brain...
366
00:20:06,272 --> 00:20:08,340
and this tape recorder.
367
00:20:08,408 --> 00:20:10,032
- George...
- You'll have your turn.
368
00:20:12,779 --> 00:20:15,973
The truth must be heard.
369
00:20:16,049 --> 00:20:17,548
Hey, what are you doing?
370
00:20:17,851 --> 00:20:19,509
Dear God!
371
00:20:23,156 --> 00:20:24,780
That's all there was...
372
00:20:24,858 --> 00:20:28,689
and yet it speaks volumes.
373
00:20:29,162 --> 00:20:31,196
A low rumple...
374
00:20:31,831 --> 00:20:34,195
a metallic squink...
375
00:20:34,667 --> 00:20:36,735
a galonk...
376
00:20:36,803 --> 00:20:40,395
and someone crying out,
"Dear God!"
377
00:20:42,175 --> 00:20:46,905
Let's start with... With you, Wyck.
378
00:20:49,149 --> 00:20:52,548
George, Quinn here
was moving a chair.
379
00:20:52,619 --> 00:20:54,584
He lost his balance and dropped it.
380
00:20:54,654 --> 00:20:56,483
It must have fallen
on your briefcase...
381
00:20:56,556 --> 00:21:00,183
which, for some reason,
contained a running tape recorder.
382
00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:09,429
All right then.
383
00:21:10,236 --> 00:21:12,634
We've gotten to the bottom of that.
384
00:21:19,512 --> 00:21:20,909
What are you guys doing here?
385
00:21:20,980 --> 00:21:22,741
We're getting vasectomies.
386
00:21:24,284 --> 00:21:26,875
- Why?
- I'm doing it for you.
387
00:21:27,754 --> 00:21:29,879
- What?
- What did you do to your hair?
388
00:21:30,356 --> 00:21:31,923
I cut it.
389
00:21:31,991 --> 00:21:33,353
It's a little short.
390
00:21:33,426 --> 00:21:35,016
You think?
391
00:21:36,963 --> 00:21:38,189
What are you doing here?
392
00:21:38,264 --> 00:21:40,423
Kevin's having
his vasectomy reversed.
393
00:21:40,500 --> 00:21:41,897
- Reversed?
- Reversed?
394
00:22:01,588 --> 00:22:04,851
He imbibed her glistening spell
395
00:22:05,525 --> 00:22:09,459
Just before the other shoe fell
396
00:22:13,233 --> 00:22:14,664
Is that a Keats poem?
397
00:22:14,734 --> 00:22:16,324
No, it's a Newman.
398
00:22:18,938 --> 00:22:20,596
Well, I gotta run.
399
00:22:28,481 --> 00:22:31,141
Does anyone think George
might have murdered Susan?
400
00:22:31,484 --> 00:22:34,610
Oh, yeah, I just assumed
he murdered her.
401
00:22:34,687 --> 00:22:37,620
- Of course he killed her.
- So it's not just me then.
402
00:22:37,924 --> 00:22:40,925
All right. Back to business.
28008
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