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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:31,024 --> 00:01:33,788 Greetings hack and field fans. 2 00:01:33,860 --> 00:01:37,557 I hope you're in the mood for a little fiendly competition. 3 00:01:37,864 --> 00:01:40,059 It's that time of fear again. 4 00:01:40,133 --> 00:01:43,899 The annual All Crypt Die Cathalon! 5 00:01:43,970 --> 00:01:46,962 I've been working out like crazy to get ready. 6 00:01:50,710 --> 00:01:53,736 This year I'm really going for the cold. 7 00:01:53,813 --> 00:01:56,543 Kind of like the woman in tonight's tale. 8 00:01:56,716 --> 00:02:00,083 It's a putrid portrait of an up-and-coming young artist 9 00:02:00,153 --> 00:02:04,180 that's sure to leave a nasty taste on your palette. 10 00:02:04,357 --> 00:02:05,824 I call it... 11 00:02:10,930 --> 00:02:16,129 "99 and 44/100% Pure Horror. " 12 00:02:58,478 --> 00:02:59,843 Get out. 13 00:03:00,580 --> 00:03:02,571 - What? - Get out. 14 00:03:02,649 --> 00:03:03,980 My husband will be home soon. 15 00:03:04,050 --> 00:03:07,110 - I wasn't finished. - Ask me if I care. 16 00:03:07,187 --> 00:03:08,814 How can you say that? 17 00:03:09,189 --> 00:03:13,649 - Well, you told me I was special. - I lied. Go home. 18 00:03:14,928 --> 00:03:15,917 Willa. 19 00:03:20,166 --> 00:03:22,031 I love it when you beg. 20 00:03:22,101 --> 00:03:24,160 Okay. I tell you what. 21 00:03:24,504 --> 00:03:25,630 I'll give you a couple of minutes 22 00:03:25,705 --> 00:03:30,233 to do what you gotta do in the bathroom, and then you're out of here. 23 00:03:30,643 --> 00:03:33,009 And tomorrow, don't be late. 24 00:04:04,310 --> 00:04:07,768 Honey, where's the antacid? 25 00:04:08,214 --> 00:04:12,310 They're in the kitchen. You're gonna OD on those things. 26 00:04:12,585 --> 00:04:14,018 Hereditary. 27 00:04:17,156 --> 00:04:21,217 Would you mind not throwing your soiled clothes on the floor? 28 00:04:21,294 --> 00:04:23,125 It's gonna stain the carpet. 29 00:04:23,196 --> 00:04:27,428 Wonderful, Luden. You've come to criticize me in the shower? 30 00:04:27,500 --> 00:04:28,831 No. I'm sorry. 31 00:04:29,202 --> 00:04:30,533 We'll start over. 32 00:04:32,472 --> 00:04:35,635 - Mind if I join you? - Yes, I do mind. 33 00:04:40,613 --> 00:04:43,844 Greetings, shareholders, I'm Luden Sandleton. 34 00:04:44,183 --> 00:04:47,516 Now, soapmaking has come a long way since my grandfather 35 00:04:47,620 --> 00:04:50,555 started Derma Smooth back in 1927. 36 00:04:51,024 --> 00:04:55,085 Back then, it took two and a half days to make a single bar of soap. 37 00:04:55,662 --> 00:04:59,564 But, today, with a single flick of a switch, 38 00:04:59,732 --> 00:05:03,896 the patented Derma Smooth Soap-o-Matic 5000 can heat, 39 00:05:04,037 --> 00:05:09,031 blend, cool and package an entire case of soap in less than eight minutes. 40 00:05:09,709 --> 00:05:14,271 Also, in the old days, most companies rendered animal parts for their products. 41 00:05:14,347 --> 00:05:15,974 But not Derma Smooth. 42 00:05:16,249 --> 00:05:19,514 There are over a dozen kinds of acids in animal parts, 43 00:05:19,585 --> 00:05:21,280 including hydrochloric acid. 44 00:05:21,354 --> 00:05:22,548 Think about it. 45 00:05:23,156 --> 00:05:25,420 Would you want the stuff that digests food in your stomach 46 00:05:25,491 --> 00:05:27,857 doing the same kind of thing to your face? 47 00:05:28,461 --> 00:05:30,326 That's why, for the past 70 years, 48 00:05:30,396 --> 00:05:33,923 Derma Smooth has been all natural and cruelty-free. 49 00:05:35,068 --> 00:05:38,697 But enough about the past. Let's talk about the future. 50 00:05:41,841 --> 00:05:43,001 Bravo. 51 00:05:45,044 --> 00:05:49,879 They're showing it at the shareholders' luncheon next week. 52 00:05:50,350 --> 00:05:52,818 So, where's the future? 53 00:05:53,152 --> 00:05:56,280 We haven't shot it yet. We got problems. 54 00:05:56,756 --> 00:05:59,054 I mean, sales are at an all-time low. 55 00:05:59,258 --> 00:06:01,749 You're the president, Lu. Fire someone. 56 00:06:01,828 --> 00:06:06,322 Yeah, well, we've been doing a lot of work getting ready for the luncheon 57 00:06:06,566 --> 00:06:09,091 and market research indicates that your designs 58 00:06:09,168 --> 00:06:12,160 aren't scoring the kinds of points that they used to. 59 00:06:15,708 --> 00:06:16,732 Fact. 60 00:06:16,809 --> 00:06:19,801 This design made Derma Smooth the number-one shampoo! 61 00:06:19,879 --> 00:06:22,473 Well, nobody's saying that your work isn't good. 62 00:06:22,548 --> 00:06:26,006 It's just it's not very fresh anymore. 63 00:06:26,085 --> 00:06:30,454 So, this is why you're so excited to see me doing my own stuff, huh? 64 00:06:30,523 --> 00:06:33,492 Well, don't take it personally. I mean... 65 00:06:33,826 --> 00:06:35,851 The board of directors wants to 66 00:06:37,430 --> 00:06:39,523 scrap all of the existing artwork. 67 00:06:39,599 --> 00:06:42,534 They want an entirely new look for Derma Smooth. 68 00:06:43,536 --> 00:06:45,561 I think it's a great idea! 69 00:06:46,305 --> 00:06:48,205 - You do? - Absolutely! 70 00:06:48,274 --> 00:06:49,901 I mean, my designs have been copied so much, 71 00:06:49,976 --> 00:06:51,534 they are old news. 72 00:06:52,945 --> 00:06:55,914 So when is this shareholders' meeting? 73 00:06:55,982 --> 00:06:56,971 Thursday. 74 00:06:57,817 --> 00:07:01,844 - I'm really happy that you understand... - Thursday. Thursday, Thursday. 75 00:07:01,921 --> 00:07:05,789 That gives me just enough time to give you your future. 76 00:07:06,192 --> 00:07:07,489 What? 77 00:07:07,827 --> 00:07:10,819 They want a fresh new look? Let me give it to them. 78 00:07:10,897 --> 00:07:13,627 I'll wow them, Luden, you'll see. 79 00:07:15,435 --> 00:07:16,766 Welcome back. 80 00:07:16,969 --> 00:07:22,373 We are talking to the hottest artist on the scene today, Renaldo Escuarita. 81 00:07:22,809 --> 00:07:25,175 Renaldo, when did you first make the transition 82 00:07:25,244 --> 00:07:27,769 from doing graffiti to more serious artwork? 83 00:07:27,847 --> 00:07:31,544 Hey, I don't use the "G word," because that's like, vandalism, you dig? 84 00:07:31,617 --> 00:07:34,177 I am an urban guerrilla artist. 85 00:07:34,253 --> 00:07:36,585 It's like, the city is my canvas, man. 86 00:07:36,656 --> 00:07:39,489 I'm just working on a smaller scale now. 87 00:07:39,826 --> 00:07:41,350 Bam! 88 00:07:42,261 --> 00:07:44,422 I call it "Welfare Cheese. " 89 00:07:46,399 --> 00:07:48,264 When is it time for me? 90 00:07:48,668 --> 00:07:50,192 Right about now. 91 00:07:50,536 --> 00:07:52,766 You know my next guest from her provocative 92 00:07:52,839 --> 00:07:56,297 and controversial designs for Derma Smooth beauty products. 93 00:07:56,375 --> 00:07:58,900 Say hi to Willa Sandleton. 94 00:08:00,012 --> 00:08:02,378 Willa, thanks so much for joining us. 95 00:08:02,748 --> 00:08:05,182 So, now that Derma Smooth beauty products 96 00:08:05,251 --> 00:08:07,651 are no longer the flavor of the month, 97 00:08:07,787 --> 00:08:10,585 do you think your 15 minutes of fame are up? 98 00:08:11,491 --> 00:08:12,549 No. 99 00:08:12,625 --> 00:08:17,358 Actually, I am in the middle of redesigning the entire Derma Smooth line. 100 00:08:17,430 --> 00:08:19,898 - Really? - Yes. Yes. 101 00:08:19,966 --> 00:08:22,332 But what I'm really excited about is my new work. 102 00:08:22,401 --> 00:08:23,959 I feel like I've really grown as an artist 103 00:08:24,036 --> 00:08:27,267 and I'd like to take this opportunity to debut my new art to the world, 104 00:08:27,340 --> 00:08:28,671 if you don't mind. 105 00:08:28,741 --> 00:08:30,834 - This first painting I call... - Oops! Actually... 106 00:08:30,910 --> 00:08:33,811 We're out of time, Willa, I'm so sorry. 107 00:08:34,046 --> 00:08:38,107 When we come back, you're going to be meeting some very special children. 108 00:08:38,551 --> 00:08:39,711 BRIAN: We're clear! 109 00:08:39,785 --> 00:08:42,583 Brian, we got tape on those retarded kids that draw with their feet? 110 00:08:42,655 --> 00:08:45,920 - They're physically impaired, not retarded. - Whatever. 111 00:08:45,992 --> 00:08:48,893 Excuse me, I thought you were gonna show my work on this show. 112 00:08:48,961 --> 00:08:51,828 That's the reason I agreed to come on this program. 113 00:08:51,898 --> 00:08:53,331 Are you nuts? 114 00:08:53,399 --> 00:08:56,095 The network won't let us show that gory goop on the air. 115 00:08:56,168 --> 00:08:58,796 Besides, who'd want to look at that first thing in the morning? 116 00:08:58,871 --> 00:09:01,533 Renaldo, thanks for coming on the show, can't wait to see yours. 117 00:09:01,607 --> 00:09:03,074 Right on, right on. 118 00:09:16,889 --> 00:09:17,878 Hi. 119 00:09:18,658 --> 00:09:19,647 Hi. 120 00:09:19,859 --> 00:09:21,759 How was the TV show? 121 00:09:22,395 --> 00:09:24,226 I don't wanna talk about it. 122 00:09:24,297 --> 00:09:27,095 What are you doing home in the middle of the day? 123 00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:30,563 I need to talk to you about the shareholders' luncheon tomorrow. 124 00:09:30,636 --> 00:09:34,470 Oh, great, because I have just finished with the last set of designs and... 125 00:09:34,540 --> 00:09:37,509 I'm afraid we're not gonna be able to use your stuff. 126 00:09:38,611 --> 00:09:39,600 What? 127 00:09:41,714 --> 00:09:43,341 Why not? 128 00:09:43,749 --> 00:09:46,411 - You don't like them. - No, no. It's not that. 129 00:09:47,086 --> 00:09:48,883 Damn it, Luden! 130 00:09:49,088 --> 00:09:51,955 I created an image for your stupid company. 131 00:09:52,024 --> 00:09:54,686 You know, I turned it around! I think you owe me! 132 00:09:54,760 --> 00:09:58,161 - Well, it's just business, Willa. - Then treat it like a business! 133 00:09:58,230 --> 00:09:59,254 Test the damn things! 134 00:09:59,332 --> 00:10:01,095 I have worked round the clock for five days straight, 135 00:10:01,167 --> 00:10:03,135 I think you could do a regional test, something! 136 00:10:03,202 --> 00:10:04,567 No! I'm sorry. 137 00:10:04,637 --> 00:10:08,869 But we've just closed a deal on an up-and-coming new artist. 138 00:10:09,542 --> 00:10:12,511 He's very hot now and we're lucky to have him. 139 00:10:12,778 --> 00:10:13,870 Who is it? 140 00:10:14,146 --> 00:10:17,206 - His name is Renaldo Escuarita. - What? 141 00:10:17,283 --> 00:10:19,808 Renaldo Escuari... You know him? 142 00:10:20,353 --> 00:10:22,287 He's a graffiti artist. 143 00:10:22,355 --> 00:10:25,017 Luden, I have studied. Do you understand me? Studied! 144 00:10:25,091 --> 00:10:28,060 - My whole life for this! - Now, Willa, calm down. 145 00:10:28,127 --> 00:10:30,857 - How dare you do this to me? - I'm not doing anything to you. 146 00:10:30,930 --> 00:10:32,454 Look, it's not the end of the world. 147 00:10:32,531 --> 00:10:34,522 You can do your own work full-time now. 148 00:10:34,600 --> 00:10:39,230 Oh, yeah. Who's gonna buy my paintings, Luden? You? 149 00:10:39,305 --> 00:10:40,294 Willa. 150 00:10:42,508 --> 00:10:44,635 - Willa, there's a silver lining here. - Are you kidding? 151 00:10:44,710 --> 00:10:47,508 Well, I'm concerned about us, about our marriage. 152 00:10:47,580 --> 00:10:50,947 Now, I figure between taking the pressure off of you 153 00:10:51,017 --> 00:10:53,212 and getting past the board of directors meeting, 154 00:10:53,285 --> 00:10:55,344 we'll have a chance to spend a little time together. 155 00:10:55,421 --> 00:10:58,413 - You know, maybe take that trip. - Don't touch me. 156 00:10:58,491 --> 00:11:01,722 I'll go to a marriage counselor. I'll do whatever you want. 157 00:11:02,795 --> 00:11:04,285 Give me my job back. 158 00:11:04,830 --> 00:11:08,266 - Well, that's not gonna happen. - Fine. I want out. 159 00:11:09,935 --> 00:11:13,666 - What are you saying? - I want a divorce, you idiot. 160 00:11:13,873 --> 00:11:15,773 I don't care about this relationship. 161 00:11:15,841 --> 00:11:18,503 I never have. Sorry. That's just the way it is. 162 00:11:18,577 --> 00:11:21,808 And if I can't put my drawings on your stupid soap boxes, 163 00:11:21,881 --> 00:11:24,475 well then I'm just gonna take your money. Half. 164 00:11:24,550 --> 00:11:26,177 Half sounds good to me. 165 00:11:27,753 --> 00:11:29,778 I'm entitled to it. 166 00:11:42,902 --> 00:11:44,733 I'm sorry it's come to this. 167 00:11:51,610 --> 00:11:53,805 - You son of a bitch! - Well, that's good. 168 00:11:53,879 --> 00:11:56,279 You let your anger out. No, I get it... 169 00:11:56,348 --> 00:11:59,806 No, I realize that I'm probably as much to blame for this as you are. 170 00:11:59,885 --> 00:12:02,149 Now, Willa, listen. Let's start over again. 171 00:12:02,221 --> 00:12:05,247 We'll erase everything. Let's give it another chance. 172 00:12:05,324 --> 00:12:06,689 What do you say? 173 00:12:06,926 --> 00:12:08,757 You are such a wimp! 174 00:12:10,062 --> 00:12:12,223 Now, maybe, but I'm not gonna let you go. 175 00:12:16,635 --> 00:12:18,068 Willa. 176 00:12:18,938 --> 00:12:21,406 Come on. We used to have some fire in the past. 177 00:12:21,474 --> 00:12:22,964 Let's bring it back. 178 00:12:23,943 --> 00:12:26,070 I'll give you fire, Luey. 179 00:12:29,148 --> 00:12:30,172 Willa! 180 00:12:32,718 --> 00:12:36,415 Sorry, Lu, but you got me on a bad day. 181 00:12:48,834 --> 00:12:51,268 Hey! Drop me the key! 182 00:12:51,337 --> 00:12:52,804 What are you doing here? 183 00:12:52,872 --> 00:12:56,433 What do you mean? I'm right on time for our afternoon delight. 184 00:12:57,676 --> 00:12:58,802 Come back later! 185 00:12:58,878 --> 00:13:02,109 Oh, come on. Don't go teasing me like this! 186 00:13:02,248 --> 00:13:06,082 - I'm begging on my hands and knees! - Go away! 187 00:13:23,502 --> 00:13:26,300 I'll bark like a dog if you want! 188 00:13:33,112 --> 00:13:35,239 Not now, Tom! I mean it. 189 00:13:35,314 --> 00:13:38,215 Forget about the key. I think somebody's coming out. 190 00:13:56,135 --> 00:13:57,534 Hey, babe, open up. 191 00:13:58,804 --> 00:14:01,773 I know you need a strong, hunky man like me in there! 192 00:14:01,841 --> 00:14:03,604 Come on, babe. Open up. 193 00:14:05,678 --> 00:14:07,509 Willa, come on. 194 00:14:08,180 --> 00:14:10,239 Willa, open the door. 195 00:14:10,583 --> 00:14:12,642 Open, open, open, open, open. 196 00:14:14,220 --> 00:14:15,209 Hi. 197 00:14:18,657 --> 00:14:20,215 Man, you've been painting up a storm, huh? 198 00:14:20,292 --> 00:14:22,852 Oh, yeah. Listen, I need you to do me a favor. 199 00:14:23,829 --> 00:14:25,490 Sure. I'll do you. 200 00:14:25,998 --> 00:14:27,363 A favor, that is. 201 00:14:28,467 --> 00:14:32,267 I need you to come over here and help me get this carpet into the car. 202 00:14:32,504 --> 00:14:35,405 God, Willa, I'm so hot for you. 203 00:14:35,774 --> 00:14:37,332 Let's do it on the carpet right now. 204 00:14:37,409 --> 00:14:39,468 No, you don't! No. 205 00:14:41,480 --> 00:14:42,674 Kinky. 206 00:14:45,784 --> 00:14:46,773 Tom. 207 00:15:02,268 --> 00:15:06,034 Wait, wait, wait. We'll pick this up later, baby. Okay. 208 00:15:06,372 --> 00:15:09,239 Could you go get me some aspirin? They're in the bathroom. I got a headache. 209 00:15:09,308 --> 00:15:12,277 - You got a headache, now? - Yeah, I'm sorry. 210 00:15:12,344 --> 00:15:15,575 I'll make it up to you later. I promise. 211 00:15:16,181 --> 00:15:17,170 Okay. 212 00:15:36,468 --> 00:15:37,730 What's this? 213 00:15:38,404 --> 00:15:40,872 That's for later. 214 00:15:41,807 --> 00:15:43,365 All right. 215 00:15:43,976 --> 00:15:46,103 Now help me get this into the car. 216 00:15:46,912 --> 00:15:49,813 Well, get your husband to do it. I ain't your slave. 217 00:15:50,983 --> 00:15:54,441 Luden is out of town and you are my slave. 218 00:15:54,520 --> 00:15:56,112 Okay. Okay. Okay. 219 00:15:58,624 --> 00:16:00,922 Man, this stuff's looking realer every day. 220 00:16:00,993 --> 00:16:03,689 It's a mixed media piece. It's a gift for Luden. 221 00:16:03,762 --> 00:16:05,093 Now beat it. 222 00:16:05,164 --> 00:16:08,793 Hey, wait a second. You promised me. Willa! 223 00:16:10,269 --> 00:16:11,736 I said, "Scram. " 224 00:16:51,243 --> 00:16:54,041 Gee, Lu, you were never this lively before. 225 00:17:14,566 --> 00:17:17,364 Acid to acid, dust to dust. 226 00:18:36,381 --> 00:18:38,315 Long day, huh, Lu? 227 00:18:45,691 --> 00:18:50,993 Hey, Lu, you don't mind if I leave this... 228 00:18:51,463 --> 00:18:52,452 There. 229 00:18:52,798 --> 00:18:56,564 Or how about these... here. 230 00:18:59,705 --> 00:19:04,108 Or, how about this, there. 231 00:19:06,044 --> 00:19:09,172 C'mon, Lu, let's go have some fun. 232 00:19:16,655 --> 00:19:19,920 Now, you just sit right there and don't move a muscle. 233 00:19:58,363 --> 00:20:01,025 You always wanted to shower with me, Lu. 234 00:20:01,099 --> 00:20:02,532 Here's your chance. 235 00:20:40,105 --> 00:20:43,233 There are over a dozen kinds of acids in animal parts, 236 00:20:43,308 --> 00:20:45,208 including hydrochloric acid. 237 00:20:47,779 --> 00:20:49,178 Think about it. 238 00:20:49,248 --> 00:20:51,739 Would you want the stuff that digests food in your stomach 239 00:20:51,817 --> 00:20:54,183 doing the same kind of thing to your face? 240 00:21:26,852 --> 00:21:30,515 Looks like Willa's changing her school of painting. 241 00:21:30,589 --> 00:21:35,049 From art gooveau to ghost-Impressionism. 242 00:21:35,127 --> 00:21:37,561 That'll get her into Ooze Who. 243 00:21:40,732 --> 00:21:44,600 Okay, kiddies, it's time for my big event. 244 00:21:45,003 --> 00:21:46,595 Wish me luck. 245 00:21:53,445 --> 00:21:54,776 Caught it! 246 00:21:55,480 --> 00:21:57,675 Ah, the kill of victory.19119

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