All language subtitles for Iris 2001

I want to come back.

Don't go!

Iris!

Iris, w-wait for me!

Just keep tight hold of me,
and it'll be all right!

You won't keep still!
I can't keep still!

I can't catch up with you!
Speed up!

Oh! Whoo!

Iris, you've got bicycle oil
on your ankle.

I don't care, John. Oh.

Those of you, our guests,

on whose magnificent
generosity we depend...

We really are most
frightfully grateful...

Will need no introduction to one of
our most distinguished graduates...

and an honorary fellow,
Dame Iris Murdoch.

She's a noted philosopher...

as well as author
of some 26 novels,

and we are honored
to have her with us today,

as well as the distinguished
Wharton professor of literature...

who has the great good fortune
of being married to her.

Yes.

I need to say no more about her,
for good wine needs no bush.

But she will not mind
comparison with, say,

a really fine vintage claret.

Um, Dame Iris will speak to you
about the importance of education.

Education doesn't make you
happy, and nor does freedom.

We don't become happy just
because we're free, if we are,

or because we've been educated,
if we have,

but because education
may be the means...

by which we realize
we are happy.

It opens our eyes, our ears,

tells us where delights
are lurking,

convinces us that there
is only one freedom...

of any importance whatsoever...

That of the mind...

And gives us the assurance,

the confidence,

to walk the path our mind...
Our educated mind... offers.

♪ I shall tell him ♪
♪ all my love ♪

♪ All my soul's adoration ♪

♪ And I think ♪
♪ he will hear me ♪

♪ And will not ♪
♪ say me nay ♪

♪ It is this ♪
♪ that gives my soul ♪

♪ All its joyous ♪

♪ Elation ♪

♪ As I hear ♪
♪ the sweet lark sing ♪

♪ In the clear air ♪

♪ Of the day ♪

Yes, of course, there's something fishy
about describing people's feelings.

You try hard to be accurate,

but as soon as you start to define such and
such a feeling, language lets you down.

It's really a machine
for making falsehoods.

When we really speak the truth,
words are insufficient.

Almost everything, except things like
"pass the gravy," is a lie of a sort.

And that being the case, I shall shut up.

Oh, and pass the gravy.

But love, when it is satisfying,
concerns much understanding,

and real love... extreme love... once it's
recognized has the stamp of the indubitable.

Ah, John... I may call you John, mayn't I?
Meet Miss Murdoch.

Iris, my dear, John Bayley,

one of the more promising young
lecturers in the English school.

Though I caught him out over Old English
grammar. His weaker side, I fear.

A minor question
of Anglo-Saxon syntax.

Wine.

I mean, went down the wrong way.

Yes, I like that.

There is a right way down,
of course.

Amazing how most of us find it
without even thinking about it.

Oh, I-I r-rarely think. If you think
about it, you'll never find it.

Best thing to do is hang on
and trust the body. I do.

Human beings love each other...

in sex, in friendship...

and when they're in love.

And they cherish other beings...

Humans, animals, plants,

even stones.

The quest for happiness and
the promotion of happiness...

is in all of this...

and the power
of our imagination.

I'm writing a n-novel.

I don't suppose you have the time or the
inclination to even r-r-read a n-novel.

I've written one.
It's going to be published.

And I'm writing another. Oh.

C-C-Can I...
Can I read it?

No one has read it.
None of my friends.

- What's it about?
- About?

It has something for everyone.

- A b-bit like Shakespeare?
- Perhaps, yes.

- Please don't talk to anyone about it.
- N-N-N-No.

Of c-course not.
I-I-I w-won't t-tell a soul.

Every human soul has seen,

perhaps even before their birth,

pure forms such as
justice, temperance,

beauty...

and all the great moral qualities
which we hold in honor.

We are moved
towards what is good...

by the faint memory
of these forms,

simple and calm and blessed,

which we saw once
in a pure, clear light,

being pure ourselves.

Jack Brayton, please go
to the courtesy service desk. Thank you.

Whole grain. Do we have whole
grain or something other?

What is "whole"? Is it something
in itself or does it have parts?

Oh, spaghetti. If you have
a whole, you have a whole.

Ooh, sausages. You
and me is a whole.

If you toddle off, there's a
hole in the whole, or if I do.

But a whole can't be broken.
It just forms another whole.

Baked beans.
Baked beans.

Do you want premium points?

- Do we deserve them?
- Do you want bags?

Bags? Yes.

It's all around us. People like
you and me talking nonsense.

- I know, I know.
- Bag for life?

"For life"?
That's what it says.

We have to ask,
give you the choice.

Ooh, rather.

You just have to listen.
That's the job.

You call it a job, but it's
like music, what you do.

You live with the angels, speak their
language, the music of the spheres.

Nowadays, the only language anyone
really understands is pictures.

Paint the picture.

See? Now I'm bagged for life.

Love's the only language
everyone understands.

Ooh, love, yes.

I can read
it, but I can't speak it.

My coat's caught on your chair.

And the captain said of the two
weevils who dropped out of a biscuit,

"Which would you rather have, Mr.
Smith?" "The bigger one, sir."

"Wrong, Mr. Smith,
wrong.

In the navy, you should always choose
the lesser of the two weevils."

Patrick O'Brian.

"Between two evils, always choose
the one you haven't tried before."

Mae West. "Oh, my vest! I tore
my vest again this morning."

- You must get some new vests.
- Jolly good.

You must get some new vests.

I just said that.

You're always saying that,
that you just said something.

Me too. Good job. You reminded
me I had two lectures today.

You remembered.

No, but I remembered to
apologize for the one I forgot.

- They were very sweet about it.
- Glad not to have to listen to you, I expect.

Oh, I'm sure.

They'd have been delighted
to have listened to you.

I always have been.

Iris.
John.

Ah!

Thank you.
Keep the change.

Janet! Janet!
Oh, my God, Iris!

Am I late?

Don't be silly.

Oh, no! It's the Hokie Cokie!
Everything'll be over!

John, wait. Stop. Oh, dear.

Oops. Sorry.

Cha-cha-cha.
Cha-cha-cha!

Cha-cha-cha.

Ch... Iris.

Cha-cha-cha.

Thank you!
You too!

That was my husband.

Cha-cha-cha.

Are you with Iris?

H-H-Hoping so.

You know, we have...
I-I thought we had.

Nearly met.

- A-Are you a friend of Iris?
- Yes.

She seems to have a lot of f...

Janet Stone. John Bayley.

How do you do?
H-How do you do?

Shall we?

What are your rooms like?
A-Adequate, thank you.

I'd like to see them.
Oh.

Do you... Do you have
a lot of friends?

Is a list of my friends
necessary?

I-I just wondered
if you had many.

There aren't many people
that one wants to know one.

Do you... Whoop!

Iris!

Y-You might fall.

W-Would you like some more ch-champagne?
That would be nice.

I-I've had some s-since Christmas.
It does keep, doesn't it?

I-I sh-sh-shouldn't
be doing this.

What? H-Having women
in my r-room.

It's...
It's not p-permitted.

Wouldn't say
you'd "had me" exactly.

Have you danced before?

It was a-all right,
wasn't it?

Oh, I think so.

I-It b-b-broke the ice,
so to speak.

Ice.
What?

Oh!
Oh, it'll do.

Aren't you particular
about words at your college?

I-I-I'm only here on a s-s-sufferance,
really, as a-a tutor and guide.

I-I get all the Americans
and Frenchmen to m-mother.

You love words, don't you?

If one doesn't have words,
how does one think?

- S-Shall I do that?
- Mmm.

Wh-Wh-What is
your n-n-n-novel about?

"About"?

How to be free.

How to be good.

Oh!

And how to love.

Well, that's all...
A-all there is, I'd say.

Well, l-language is all
v-very well, you know,

but it's not the only way
of understanding each other.

There's...
Th-There's sight and...

And smell and... and...
A-and touch, of course.

I-I l-love your nose.

It's snub.

Snubby.

S-Snubby, snubby.

Snubby, snubby, snubby.

L-Let me
do that to you.

Take off your jacket.

I-If we were,
a-as it were, m-married,

w-we could d-do this
all the time.

Perhaps.

We should be doing it
nearly all the time.

Yes, but I-if...

Thank you.

Look.

Ah!

Ah. You stopped
with your working.

Yes, well, I don't mind.

How's it coming along?

It's harder to write than all the others.
Much. Have you noticed?

Just that you've seemed, well,

puzzled every now and again.

That's it, yes.

Puzzled.

Puzz... Pu...

Puzzled.
It's a funny word.

All words are like that...

when you take them
b-by surprise, aren't they?

Have you got a title?

A lot of trees seem near.

We must stop it. What to do?
What to do?

The window, John...
The window! We must stop it!

No, see?

It's gone.

Hmm.

We all worry about
going mad, don't we?

How would we know,

those of us who live
in our minds anyway?

Other people would tell us.

Would they, John?

Come on!

♪ I don't want Sorry!

♪ To set the world ♪

♪ On fire ♪

John Bayley.

♪ I just want to start ♪

♪ A flame in your heart ♪

♪ In my heart ♪

♪ I have but one desire ♪

I haven't seen her for ages.

Oh, j-jolly good.
Nice.

Takes all sorts.

N-Not that I... We're all... We're
all m-men at St. Anthony's.

Do...
Do you like women?

I-I mean, do...
Do w-w-women like you?

You mean lesbians?

Yes.

Would it bother you if they did?

Oh, the s-same thing
happens with me with...

homosexuals, I mean.

- Do you go to bed with them?
- Lord, no.

At the college they're all,
as somebody once said to me,

"Old-fashioned lesbians
of the very highest type."

And... And d-do...
Do you go to bed with them?

Wh...

Which...

Dame Iris.
Yes.

It's this way.

She's written
philosophy and plays and poetry,

but her novels are
her lasting literary legacy.

Iris Murdoch is acknowledged...

as the foremost English
novelist of her generation.

A little excessive,
don't you think?

What do you reckon?
Shall I take that again?

Her novels embrace
the subjects of freedom...

and what it means to be good.

Dame Iris?

They are all studies in the
successes and failures of love.

She's written philosophy
and plays and poetry,

but her novels are her
lasting literary legacy.

People,
of course, are very secretive...

and, for many reasons, want to
appear what... what we call ordinary.

Everybody has thoughts
they want to conceal,

perhaps even quite simple
aspects of their lives.

People have obsessions and fears and
passions which they don't admit to.

I think any character...

is interesting and has extremes.

It's the novelist's privilege
to see how odd everyone is.

In your novels, you yourself are
very exact in your use of language.

But in general terms, do you think
that language is becoming debased?

Reading and writing...

and the preservation
of language and its forms...

and the kind of eloquence
and the kind of beauty...

that language is capable of...

is something terribly important
to human beings...

because...

this is connected to thought.

If children are not taught...

W-What did you say?
D-Did you ask...

I was asking about
the importance of language.

John!

John! John?
John?

Iris?

John?

Oh, you're there.
Wh-What is it?

I'm back.

M-Much earlier than I thought.
Yes, I came straight back.

I didn't know why I was there.
To do an interview.

What interview?
I don't know.

So, um...
And see your publisher?

So... W-Was it your publisher?

So I came back.

I didn't expect you back for ages.
Has she rung?

I didn't answer.
It was Nora.

Iris, Nora's dead.

Oh, so she is.

Oh, that is sad.

Oh, well, never mind.
Must have been Ed.

What for?

Oh, yes, my book.

Oh, so I came back.

What is, uh, the name
of the prime minister?

- Oh, me? Are you asking me?
- Yes, I am.

I know.

Okay, what is the name
of the prime minister?

I don't know.
Ask John.

Surely it doesn't matter.

Okay, well, no, not really.

Someone will know.

Who would you like to see?

I mean, is there
anyone... I don't know.

Shall I look up some
names, talk to someone?

Got a lot of ideas,
but they won't come together.

It happens all the time...
Forgetting names.

So, does it happen all the time?

I mean, you know, does she mean writer's
block? I suppose she does, but...

Iris can always write, Doctor.
This is some... Oh, I know.

Iris is a person of some... Yes,
yes, but it doesn't work like...

Surely in her case, a-a
woman with a f-first-class mind...

We'll have to be certain.

There'll have
to be tests, scans.

I don't think I can...

I mean, it's a little
beyond my competence.

Iris finds her new book
v-very tiring and difficult.

Basically,
I'll arrange something.

Iris has a very clear mind.

Mine's a muddle, but not hers.

She does everything.
Always has.

Food, shopping,
tickets for things.

I-I never know how she m-m-manages
and does her b-books as well.

Well, they can get you help.

N-No, no, no, no.
N-Nobody would suit.

There's a very good place, a
specialist nursing home. Vale House.

Not necessary. Not yet.

I'm sorry. N-N-Not
your fault, I'm sure.

Well, uh, take care.
Good-bye, Doctor.

Thank you. C-Careful. Good-bye.

Iris.

I'm sure the country
won't go to the dogs.

Not knowing the prime minister's
name is not a capital offense.

Absolutely. I know the
names that matter.

It'll be all right.

Well, it will be
if you stop worrying.

I've got a book to finish.

Oh! Tony Blair.

So there.

Iris, are you comfortable?

I'm going to start the scan now.

Just keep nice and still.
Try to relax.

It'll take about 15 minutes.

- John.
- Janet.

I'm sorry. Is Iris still...
I'm so sorry I'm late.

I don't know what's
going to happen, Janet.

I've left the car outside.
The engine's running.

Won't be a mo.
Right.

See you out there.
Yes.

John, I'm frightened.
Everyone's doing their best.

Janet's got the car.

It'll be...

It's done.

You're finished?

Thought
you were c-close.

So far, but it hasn't
made any difference.

Here's to it.

- Just try and keep working.
- You must.

I will. And here's
to the next one.

Just keep working, keep talking,
keep the words coming.

K-Keep at it.

I shall come on like a deprived
animal if I can't write.

Be like a starved dog.

No. Keep at it.
I'll keep you at it.

I feel...

as if I'm sailing into darkness.

A... th-thing
you eat with.

"An... i... mal."

Toothbrush.

Uh... Uh, no.

Yes.

Por...

P... Mmm, no.

Tennis thing.

God.

Iris is getting t-tired,
I'm afraid.

- John.
- Uh, can we have the blinds?

Dame Iris, thank you very much.
Thank you.

Well done, puss.

- Dame Iris, thank you very much indeed.
- Thank you, Dame Iris.

It was so kind of you to come, Dame Iris.
Thank you. I like it.

Thank you very much.
Is it any help?

What, to us?
Yes.

It's implacable.

What does that mean?

It means inexorable.

I know what the word means.
Um, to me, t-to us.

You see, words have meant
everything to her.

They will still mean
something, some thought.

It can't just be
dead b-birds dropping.

I know what it means,
and it doesn't surprise me.

It frightens me, but...

And then sometimes
it doesn't frighten me,

and that's just as bad.

Because that's it winning,
isn't it?

N-N-No, no.
No, it's n-not.

It won't win.

It wil win.

There.
It will win.

That's very kind.

Whoo!

Iris!

Iris, wait for me!

Just keep tight hold of me,
and it'll be all right!

You won't keep still!

I can't keep still!
Oh!

I can't catch up with you!
Speed up!

Oh! Whoo!

Oh, good morning.
Oh. No.

Uh, I...

I think it's the...

person who brings
the posts, John.

Yes, it is.
Yes.

John?
So sorry.

Thank you. Thank you
very much indeed.

Thank you.
So sorry.

Uh, there.

Go on. Go on, go on,
go on, go on, go on.

It's only the postman.
It's only the postman.

Don't repeat everything, puss.

It's only the postman.

It's for you!
It's your book!

What's that?

Your book!

It's only the postman.

It's your book!

Isn't it perfectly splendid!

Well, why don't you look at it?

It's only the postman.

Oh, damn.

Stop nudging up to me
like a water buffalo.

I have a lot to do.
Lots to do, Iris.

See what I've done now?

It's not your fault. Not your fault.
Sorry. Sorry.

It's only the postman.

Yes, all right! It's only the postman!
Sorry. So sorry.

There's lots to do.

Which side do I go?

Ask me my three
main priorities for government,

and I tell you...

Education, education
and education.

John! John!

Why does he keep saying that?

What does he mean?
By what?

"Education, education,
education."

H-He means learning.

Everyone g-getting
enough of it.

Why does he keep saying it?

Politicians have to keep repeating
things to make themselves heard.

They have to be
like travelers...

eating sheep's eyes
with B-Bedouins.

They have to do anything
to make themselves liked.

Why does he want
to eat a sheep's ear?

- Shall I turn it off?
- No!

We could go for a swim tomorrow
if it's n-not raining.

No.
Yes.

You love water. When
you swim, you love it.

Swim? Swim is
good for you.

When are we leaving?

Not today.

- Are we going to London?
- No, we're going for a swim.

When are we leaving?

Not today.

When are we leaving?

Iris.
Iris, wait for me.

You dirty old man!

Hello!

There we go.
Well done.

No, Iris, not with your socks on.
Your socks!

Whoa!

Look. Look.
Look.

Come along. Come on! Come on!

Come along!
Go on!

Ooh.

Maybe...

Help me here.

Let me...
Oh.

Soaking wet.

Oh, yeah? See?

Give me your hand.
Give me your hand.

That's it. Give me your hand.
No, no, no, don't...

You'll pull me in!

You're all right. I won't let you go.
You're all right.

Let's get you dry.
You're all right.

Don't get cold.
Come on.

Here. Up your hands.
Up your hands.

Let's get you warm.
That's it. That's it.

Come on. That's it.

No, Iris. Iris! Just put your... Oh!
Wait...

- Like this, up high. Up. Let's get your head through.
- Let's go now?

- As soon as we've got your head in.
- Let's go now!

Iris, as soon as we've got
your head in! No! No.

As soon as we've got... Come on.
Put your head down. Let's go now!

- Where's my petticoat?
- Here.

Ah.

Are you sure he's expecting me?

Maurice. I brought John.
You said I might.

Did I?

And did you say you would?

Yes.
Well, come in.

Maurice Charlton.
J-John Bayley.

Isn't it hot?

Yes, it is. I've got just
the thing will cool.

I imagine your friend Maurice is
hoping to have his wicked will, is he?

Not today is he.

You and I are much the
same age, aren't we, John?

I-I-I think so.

Does it matter? No.

It's not important, is it?

What Maurice means is
that most of my real...

My othe friends
are older than me.

Much older.

Yes, and there's a very good reason for
that, isn't there? Is there? What?

She likes people
with a bit of a past.

She uses them. Don't you?
No, I don't.

For your novel.
Don't you, Iris?

I-I haven't read it.
Haven't you?

Neither have you, Maurice,
so don't play games.

Nobody has read it.

The gentle lady hasn't yet
bestowed her favor on anyone.

I-Iris doesn't like to talk about it.
I know that. Do you, Iris?

That's because it's full
of people she knows.

All these masters of thought
you're so chummy with.

Bound to be.
We all know.

No, it isn't, but you can think what
you like. You know nothing about it.

Nobody knows but me.

And... I'm not telling.

I thought it was a secret. I mean, I
know Iris doesn't want it talked about.

Come on, Iris. I'm sure we'll
all recognize ourselves.

I don't see how you...

Anyone can.
They won't.

T-T-They won't. I hate
that sort of thing.

I won't ever do it. I don't see the point
of writing a novel that's autobiography.

There's no fun in that.

T-They won't see themselves,
you know.

D-Don't people w-written about in novels
always s-see themselves differently?

W-Who was it who said, "You can
use anyone you like in a novel...

as long as you dr-drop it in
somewhere that they're good in bed,

e-even though..."
"They might not be."

Evelyn Waugh.

"And so to bed."
Samuel Pepys.

So, have you granted
your favor to John?

Told him who's in the novel?

We h-have other things
to talk about.

No one has read my novel.

No one but the publisher.
I-It doesn't matter.

Well, it does matter.
I-I f-feel let down.

Am I not a part, s-some
s-small p-part of your life?

You were very gallant.

V-Very stupid.

No, John.

Will you come in?

Have you been
e-entertaining?

Yes.

All these people.

And to think I chose you
for your obvious lack of...

I mean, I-I thought that...
I thought, no competition.

What's this?
A-A friend made it.

Oh, is she a c-cook,
your friend?

No, he's a philosopher, but his real
interests are cooking and telephones.

I'd like you to read this.

I was rather afraid
you might not like it.

Th-Thank you.

I value your opinion.

Perhaps it's time we made love.

- Yes?
- Yes.

That's what I thought.

Have you got a French letter?

A rubber thingy.

Oh. Lord, no.

Well...

we'll just have to be careful.

I-I don't...
Don't exactly...

Probably easier if you
take your trousers off.

Yes.

Yes, of course.

I've never... I... I'm a
r-rather late s-starter.

M-My brother used to have
to t-tie my shoelaces for me...

till I was seven.

I-I-I don't know if...

I do.

It'll all go...

Swimmingly.

Oh! Jump!

Help!
No! No! No!

No, no, no, no!

No, Iris! Iris! Iris!

No! Don't...

No! No!
Help! Help!

I'm trying to help you!

S-S-S-So sorry.

Please don't, Iris.

You have n-nothing
to be sorry about.

It would be unfair,
and I couldn't bear it.

We should be saying
s-sorry to you.

And n-not just sorry, but...

Shall I read to you?

Shall I?

"Occupied in observing Mr. Bingley's
attentions to her sister,

Elizabeth was far
from suspecting...

that she was herself becoming
an object of some interest...

in the eyes of his friend.

Mr. Darcy had at first scarcely
allowed her to be pretty..."

I wrote.

Yes, my darling, clever cat.

You wrote books.

Books.

I wrote.

You wrote novels.

Wonderful novels.

I wrote.

Such things you wrote.

Special things.

Secret things.

Do you know
many secrets now, Iris?

You have shown me a map
of Iris's brain world, empty.

You tell me
that its hidden mysteries...

and all the unknown life
in there has gone,

has-has been wiped.

How then...

can she say things
of such terrible lucidity?

Which bitterly empty jungle
does that come from?

- We don't know.
- Not "we." You... You don't know.

Don't-Don't hide, please.

Is it not remotely possible...

that what Iris says
is of some c-consequence?

- Yes?
- Yes. Perhaps.

So perhaps we ought
to l-learn her language...

b-before the lights go out.

The lights will go out.
Yes, of course they will.

You all keep
telling me... us... that.

I know that. She may
even know that herself.

Iris!

I'm sure you could write it.

Just get one word down.
Persevere.

Iris!
Your notebook!

No, wait.
No, no, no. Come.

That's it.

There.

You walk.

You read.

Paddle in the sea.

Then you'll write.

Be just like the old days.

John!
Iris!

Iris, Mama.

Look who's here, Iris.

Look who's here.
Hello. Hello.

Hello.

Shh.

Yes, Iris. Sea.

I thought we'd walk
to calm her down a bit.

She has an idea for a novel.

Hello, Iris. Hello, Iris.

Talk to her, Janet.

Hello, Iris.

The sea's a bit cold
for swimming.

Stay as long as you'd like.
There's plenty of room.

You're not to worry. We
don't want to be a nui...

No, you're not. She's as
much of a mom as anyone.

- Give her a bit of a rest.
- Can't rush around these days, John.

Tummy trouble.

Is she ill?
She gets tired easily.

She's really not...

What do we do?

We just talk to her, say things
to her that she can write.

She can, you know.

It's all right, is it, John?

It'll get better as you get
to know each other better.

I-Iris has got more than one
world going on inside her head...

A secret world.

Until another book comes out.

I'm the only friend
that knows of her secret world.

Oh, John. No, no. It's like
living in a fairy story.

I'm the young man in love
with a beautiful m-maiden...

who disappears into an unknown and
mysterious world every now and again...

who always comes back.

Iris, look!

Iris, look!

- He's got his clothes on.
- He's got his clothes on.

He's got his clothes on.

♪ He's got his clothes on ♪

♪ He's got his clothes on ♪

♪ He's got his clothes on ♪
♪ Seems very sensible to me. ♪

Janet, are you all right? I'm
absolutely fine, John. I'm fine.

I thought I'd get her
to sign this.

Anything... Anything is fine.
Just get her to write.

Does she know
anything about her past?

Her career?
Work? Friends?

S-Something
of a cl-closed book.

But it's there.
I know it.

Oh, that's wonderful.
Well done, puss.

Good to see your book so well
received, Iris. Yes, wasn't it?

You thought you'd never
finish it, didn't you?

I read her the reviews.

I read you the reviews, Iris.

You hated me doing it before.

Would you sign
your new book for me, Iris?

Like postcards. Do it
at once, or you don't.

Please.

I see an angel.

I think it's you.

They're under water now.

There are some drugs,
aren't there, Iris?

They don't last long.

When the f-friendly
fog disperses,

there yawns the precipice
before you, doesn't it, puss?

They're beautiful.

Horrible, isn't it?
Horrible.

Horrible thing,

you there with your toes
at the edge of the precipice.

You can say anything you like...

as long as you make
it sound like a j-joke.

Oh, don't, John. That's cruel.
That's where you're wrong.

It's not cruel. It's nothing,
because it's not understood.

She's in her own world now.

It's perhaps
what she's always wanted.

Come on.

Let's go in.

When do we go?

Chin up, John.

Janet.
Yes, puss. Yes.

Going, going.

Now you go.

Soon.
We'll... We'll go soon.

Now.

Now.

Who is it?

Who is it?

Hello. Hello!

Are you there?

Where this?

♪ Soars enchanted ♪

♪ I hear ♪
♪ the sweet lark sing ♪

♪ How much is that doggie in the window? ♪

♪ The one with the waggly tail ♪

♪ How much is that doggie ♪
♪ in the window? ♪

♪ I do hope that doggie's ♪
♪ for sale ♪

Bravo! Bravo!
And another! And another!

Sing your mother's song!

Sing your mother's song.

♪ My soul's adoration ♪

♪ And I think ♪
♪ he will hear me ♪

♪ Soars enchanted ♪

♪ I hear ♪
♪ the sweet lark sing ♪

♪ Da-da-dee-dee of the day ♪

♪ It is this ♪
♪ that gives my soul ♪

♪ All its joyous elation ♪

♪ As I hear ♪
♪ the sweet lark sing ♪

♪ In the clear air ♪

♪ Of the day ♪

♪ Dear thoughts ♪
♪ are in my mind ♪

♪ And my soul ♪
♪ soars enchanted ♪

♪ As I hear ♪
♪ the sweet lark sing ♪

♪ In the clear air ♪
♪ of the day ♪

♪ For a tender ♪
♪ beaming smile ♪

♪ To my hope ♪
♪ has been granted ♪

♪ And tomorrow ♪
♪ he shall hear ♪

♪ All my fond heart ♪

♪ Can say ♪

♪ I hear ♪
♪ the sweet lark sing ♪

♪ In the... ♪

Come, gentlemen.

You shall have
to do better than this.

Aren't you a bad cat.

♪ And tomorrow he shall hear ♪

♪ All my fond heart can say ♪

Teletubbies!

Morning.
Oh. Morning.

Oh, thank you.
Okay.

Bye.
Bye.

It's only the postman.

Time for Teletubbies.

Time for Teletubbies.

Time for Teletubbies.

♪ Tinky Winky ♪
♪ Tinky Winky ♪

♪ Eh-oh Dipsy Dipsy ♪

♪ Laa-Laa Eh-oh Laa-Laa ♪

It's only the postman.
♪ Po ♪

♪ Po ♪
It's only the postman.

♪ Teletubbies ♪

It's only the postman.
♪ Say heeeeee-lo ♪

♪ Eh-oh ♪
It's only the postman.

♪ Tinky Winky

♪ Dipsy

♪ Laa-Laa

♪ Po

♪ Teletubbies

♪ Teletubbies

Big hug!

Eh-oh!

Where have the Teletubbies gone?

Remember Proteus!

What about Proteus?
I'm like Proteus.

You've got to keep hold of me the
way Hercules kept hold of him,

even though he changed into a
lion and a fish and a snake.

Whoo!

I-I-I'm worried
about the r-river.

We swim.

You never know, sir.

I have, of c-course,
looked everywhere here already.

Everything you do...

Everything you say, write,

you do it superbly,

and you're always going to, all your
life, whatever you turn your hand to.

I-I know it.

A-And I know you must feel that
I d-don't belong in your world.

I don't.

Ahh! Ahh!

Where?

Between the soup
and the baked beans.

Oh, thank you.
Thank you so much.

I caught her
before she got to the checkout.

Sh-She's been
g-gone for hours.

I thought I'd never
see her again, n-never.

Well, all is well then.

Please, d-do tell me
your name.

I'm Maurice, John.

Iris's friend.

I was a witness at your wedding.

Oh.

Well, I'm late for a meeting.

M-Maurice.
S-So sorry.

So sorry.

W-W-Were you trying
to get away from me?

D-Did you want
to leave me, Iris?

Please.

I-I f-feel as if
I don't know anything about you!

When you know
everything about me, then I'll be dead.

He's a professor
of ancient history.

They have a m-malign influence on you, I
think. They all have, all your friends.

He's a teacher,
a master of thought.

Oh, you two talk, do you? Y-You
master thoughts together?

We make love, yes, but that's
not the important thing.

Then he goes home
to his wife in London.

Does it frighten you?

I f-feel that I'm
just s-standing...

in a long line of suitors
waiting for a kind word.

I always give you a kind word.

You must accept me as I am.

And I'm to be kept in my
box o-or not kept at all.

Nothing matters except
loving what is good.

Am I good?

Listen.

Keep tight hold of me,
and it'll be all right.

Who are you with now, Iris?

Who is it?

We're lost! We're lost!

We're lost! We're lost! Shh.

We're lost!
We're lost!

We're lost!
Poor John.

There is no reason for this! And
if there is, I don't know it!

Don't.

I hate you, Iris,
you stupid cow!

I bloody loathe you,
every bloody inch of you!

All your friends
are finished with you!

I've got you now!

Nobody else has you anymore...

except your fucking best friend,
Dr. Fucking Alzheimer,

with all his fucking gifts!

I've got you now,
and I don't want you!

I've never known anything
about you at all,

and now I don't care!

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

I think it's time I told you
about some of my friends...

The people in my past,
of my heart and... and not.

Oh, dear.

Ought I to t-take notes?

There was a friend who
was a student with me.

No, he can wait.

He was not the first
person I went to bed with.

That was Harry.

Then there was Roger,
who wanted to marry me.

And Oscar, who said he
couldn't live without me.

And Tom...

who far too clearly
could, but...

So the student friend I had
resisted going to bed with...

joined the army during the war and
promptly asked me to marry him...

for he was certain
he was going to be killed...

and wanted me to have
the widow's pension.

Yes, I know.
They all said that.

Anyway,

I didn't want to marry him,

but I did go to bed with him.

I thought that best before
he went off to fight...

because you never know.

Anyway, he wa... he was
killed, my student friend...

and we weren't married.

So no pension.

There.

I-It wouldn't have been much anyway. I
know, because I had friends killed.

Their wives got very little.
Get v-very little.

Is that all?
I-I mean, roughly?

What about the f-friends
in your other world?

You know more about me
than anyone on earth.

You are my world.

Thank you.

A-After all that,

I r-rather hoped it might be
time for me to get my kind word.

You don't need to do it on
your own. Vale House is very good.

- No, no, no, no, Doctor.
- You're exhausted. You know that.

Of course I am!
It's something that we share.

We're in a s-state
of g-grace.

I think we understand
each other.

What do you think?

I don't know.

There's always help
if you need it.

Isn't there any help for her?

What?

Sorry?

Sorry?
Nothing.

Janet's dead, Iris.

They want me to say a few words,
but I can't think of any.

- No, no. No, no. Janet... Janet...
- Janet's dead, Iris.

I m-miss Janet very much.

I m-miss Janet...

because I used to store up
funny things to tell her...

had happened to us,

things I could no longer
tell Iris.

Another friend visited us
in Oxford overnight recently,

and I found her
cleaning the bath.

I said, "Oh, please,
th-th-there's no need."

She said, "Oh, yes, there is.
I want to take a bath."

I was hoping to be able
to tell Janet that story.

Sh-She would
have enjoyed it.

Sh-She would've laughed.

I mean, I think.

Anna Karenina...
Tolstoy, you know...

Went on her way
to the station...

to throw herself under a train,

sees something funny, which she thinks
to tell Vronsky, her lover, about.

We all do it. I do it with Iris
and Janet, all our friends.

But then Anna thought...

that she wouldn't be
seeing Vronsky again...

because she was about
to kill herself.

Y-You don't want
to hear this.

J-Janet didn't kill herself.

But...

But if there's one thing...

that would have
prevented Anna...

from throwing herself
under a train,

that would be it...

The... the thought of
t-telling something funny...

to th-the man she loves.

Well, the love is over...

and...

life will...

s-s-soon be over.

That's all.

Good-bye, Janet.

No! No! No! Janet!

Jan... Janet! Janet!
Iris, it's all right.

It's all right, Iris.
Janet! Janet!

No! Help! Help!
Help me! Help me!

No! Janet!
Calm down. Calm down.

It's all right!
Janet!

- Wrong! Wrong!
- No, Iris!

Wrong driving!
Stop it, Iris!

Wrong driving!
No! Stop it, Iris!

Not... Not...
Not house!

Them! Them!

Them! Them! Them!

Them! Them!

Iris!

Puss!

Puss! My old mouse!

My old cat-mouse!

Where are you?

Oh!

I...

love...

you.

Oh, little mouse.

I know you do.

I used to be so afraid
of being alone with you.

Now I can't be without you.

Let's get us home.

And then
there will be tomorrow...

and the next day...

and the next...

and on we go.

Easy.

Closer and closest together.

Oh, your ring.

It's so worn now. Where did you get it?

From a pawnbroker's.

I like things
that are worn down.

Just wear, wear, wear...

until they go.

We've, uh, had a bit of luck.

The usual thing, I'm afraid.
Somebody's died.

Iris, d-d-do you have
a smile for Dr. Gudgeon?

No?

No.

So...

the time has come.

You knew it would,
Professor Bayley.

Y-Yes.

She d-didn't have
a smile for you today.

Yes.

Well, we must make a start.

What d-do I do?
Nothing anymore.

Vale House is a very
friendly place, you know.

I was surprised...

Well...

I mean, this is one of the best.

More difficult to get
into than, well, Eton.

Taxi for Vale House?

Yes. The lady's on the s-stairs,
but I can't get her down.

Shall I?

You all right, my love?

We're going for a little drive.
That's all right, isn't it?

What's your name, then?

Iris.

Yes. It's Iris.

All right then, Iris.

You'll be all right, my love.
Come on. Upsy-daisy.

There you go.

Lovely.

Human beings love each other...

in sex, in friendship
and when they're in love.

And they cherish other beings...

Humans, animals, plants,

even stones.

She'll be fine now,
won't you, Iris?

You can visit any time you like.

Come all day if you want to.

Stay the night.
That's all right.

We can make arrangements
for you to do that any time.

It was s-so q-quiet...

when she died.

Do you know, I-I thought "I
wouldn't mind doing that myself."

I h-had a joke
to tell her.

It wasn't a very good one,
but she'd have laughed.

We need to believe
in something divine...

without the need for God...

Something we might
call love or goodness.

As the Psalm says,

"Whither shall I go
from thy spirit?

Whither shall I flee
from thy presence?

If I ascend unto heaven,
thou art there.

If I make my bed in hell,
behold, thou art there."

If I take the wings
of the morning...

and dwell in the uttermost
parts of the sea,

even there shall
thy hand lead me...

and thy right hand
shall hold me."

♪ Dear
thoughts are in my mind ♪

♪ And my soul soars enchanted ♪

♪ And tomorrow he shall hear ♪

♪ All my fond heart ♪

♪ Can say ♪