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1
00:00:01,587 --> 00:00:03,087
� Previously on
Four Weddings and a Funeral...
2
00:00:03,089 --> 00:00:04,929
� Fuck.
3
00:00:04,927 --> 00:00:07,557
� I wanna be with you, Maya.
All I gotta do is tell her.
4
00:00:07,557 --> 00:00:09,767
� Hey, bitch.
You ready for the best weekend
of your life?
5
00:00:09,770 --> 00:00:11,820
MAYA:Yes, I'm on the red�eyetonight.
6
00:00:11,815 --> 00:00:13,565
Please, I need my bag.
7
00:00:13,569 --> 00:00:15,619
I took the wrong oneoff the carousel.
8
00:00:15,615 --> 00:00:17,485
Have you ever had
the feeling you've gone
down the wrong path?
9
00:00:17,493 --> 00:00:19,713
KASH:I feel like thatliterally every day.
10
00:00:19,706 --> 00:00:21,166
GEMMA:You must be Maya.
11
00:00:21,167 --> 00:00:23,547
My name's Gemma.
I'm Ainsley's best friend.
12
00:00:23,548 --> 00:00:25,968
� [screams]
I'm so excited!
13
00:00:25,969 --> 00:00:29,099
� I'm gonna tell Maya tonight.
I feel like it's now or ever.
14
00:00:29,100 --> 00:00:31,270
� You got this.
You liked her for ten years.
15
00:00:31,271 --> 00:00:33,991
� Suitcase guy?
� Hi.
16
00:00:33,985 --> 00:00:36,235
� Maya, this is my boyfriend,
Kash.
17
00:00:36,239 --> 00:00:38,949
� What's the deal?
Is he serious?
18
00:00:38,953 --> 00:00:41,173
� I mean, the last thing
I wanna do
is rush into anything.
19
00:00:41,165 --> 00:00:44,965
� Senator Ted Spencer has beenin an extramarital affair.
20
00:00:44,965 --> 00:00:48,925
Kaylee Haskins workedfor Spencer as a dog walker.
21
00:00:48,931 --> 00:00:51,191
� That's my daughter.
Her name is Molly.
22
00:00:51,185 --> 00:00:53,145
� Maya.
23
00:00:53,148 --> 00:00:55,068
� Here you go.
Good luck.
24
00:00:55,068 --> 00:00:57,948
PRIEST:
Do you take this woman
to be your wife?
25
00:00:57,949 --> 00:00:59,619
� I don't think I do.
� [gasps]
26
00:01:02,333 --> 00:01:05,343
[bright music]
27
00:01:05,339 --> 00:01:10,519
♪ ♪
28
00:01:10,516 --> 00:01:12,556
� I don't think I do.
29
00:01:13,939 --> 00:01:16,109
I don't.
� You don't?
30
00:01:16,110 --> 00:01:19,030
� Well, maybe.
31
00:01:19,033 --> 00:01:21,663
� It has to be
the actual words.
32
00:01:21,664 --> 00:01:23,884
It's very clear about that
in the manual.
33
00:01:24,836 --> 00:01:26,876
� [breathing heavily]
Sorry, everyone.
34
00:01:26,882 --> 00:01:29,892
I just need a minute.
Uh, enjoy the church!
35
00:01:29,888 --> 00:01:32,558
[indistinct chatter]
Excuse me.
36
00:01:33,938 --> 00:01:36,188
� Hey, what the hell
is happening?
37
00:01:36,192 --> 00:01:38,152
KASH: I'm so sorry. I don't know
what's wrong with me.
38
00:01:38,154 --> 00:01:39,414
� You're just getting
cold feet.
39
00:01:39,407 --> 00:01:40,487
I was feeling it too.
40
00:01:40,492 --> 00:01:41,912
� You were?
� Yeah.
41
00:01:41,912 --> 00:01:43,162
Last night, I went down
this rabbit hole
42
00:01:43,164 --> 00:01:44,464
of "Should we be getting
married?
43
00:01:44,458 --> 00:01:46,588
"Should anybody be
getting married?
44
00:01:46,588 --> 00:01:48,718
"Like, is it against
human nature to just have sex
with one person?
45
00:01:48,717 --> 00:01:50,137
"Like, I never got
to hook up with a Greek guy.
46
00:01:50,137 --> 00:01:51,767
That could have been cool."
47
00:01:51,765 --> 00:01:53,515
But then I was like,"Shut up, Ainsley.
48
00:01:53,519 --> 00:01:56,019
You love him,and that is all that matters."
49
00:01:56,023 --> 00:01:57,903
Okay?KASH: You're right.
50
00:01:57,902 --> 00:02:00,742
AINSLEY: So just tell yourself,
"Shut up, Kash.
51
00:02:00,741 --> 00:02:01,991
You love her."
52
00:02:01,994 --> 00:02:05,754
� Yeah, shut up, Kash.
You...
53
00:02:05,751 --> 00:02:07,211
I'm sorry.
� Oh, my God.
54
00:02:07,212 --> 00:02:11,932
� Okay, um, while we wait,
maybe a song?
55
00:02:13,349 --> 00:02:15,769
[Bach's "Toccata and Fugue
in D minor" plays]
56
00:02:15,772 --> 00:02:18,282
Stop, stop!
Why would you play that?
57
00:02:19,654 --> 00:02:21,204
� Please don't do this to me.
58
00:02:21,199 --> 00:02:24,039
� Ains, I can't marry you.
59
00:02:25,457 --> 00:02:27,797
I'm sorry.
� If you say "sorry"
one more time...
60
00:02:27,796 --> 00:02:29,006
Just tell me why!
61
00:02:29,006 --> 00:02:32,046
� I don't know why.
Sorry.
62
00:02:32,054 --> 00:02:33,814
[grunts]
ALL: [gasps]
63
00:02:33,808 --> 00:02:35,978
[indistinct chatter]
64
00:02:35,978 --> 00:02:38,268
� Ainsley!
Ainsley!
65
00:02:38,274 --> 00:02:41,284
[wedding recessional music
plays]
66
00:02:41,280 --> 00:02:48,250
♪ ♪
67
00:02:49,380 --> 00:02:52,850
� I hope there's still
an open bar at the reception.
68
00:02:53,848 --> 00:02:58,058
� ♪ You've got a sweet
little place in my heart ♪
69
00:02:58,064 --> 00:03:03,204
♪ Like a sweet little rain
takes care of the flowers ♪
70
00:03:03,199 --> 00:03:04,909
♪ And that's love ♪
71
00:03:04,911 --> 00:03:09,881
♪ Your kind of love,
your kind of love ♪
72
00:03:09,880 --> 00:03:12,890
[lighthearted music]
73
00:03:12,886 --> 00:03:19,896
♪ ♪
74
00:03:21,904 --> 00:03:23,574
� Suits?
� Donate.
75
00:03:23,574 --> 00:03:25,294
� Cufflinks?
� Donate.
76
00:03:25,285 --> 00:03:27,495
� What's a men's shelter
going to do with cufflinks?
77
00:03:27,497 --> 00:03:31,587
� Oh, so the poor
shouldn't care
how their wrists look?
78
00:03:31,590 --> 00:03:32,930
� Oh, my God.
79
00:03:32,925 --> 00:03:35,055
Look what I found
in his pocket.
80
00:03:35,055 --> 00:03:38,685
This is why he did it.
He's a secret drug addict.
81
00:03:38,687 --> 00:03:40,777
� I'm pretty sure
that's a breath mint.
82
00:03:40,775 --> 00:03:43,815
� Yes, darling,
I think you're grasping.
83
00:03:43,822 --> 00:03:46,752
� Well, there has to be
some reason why this happened.
84
00:03:46,745 --> 00:03:49,245
We had
the perfect relationship.
85
00:03:49,249 --> 00:03:50,999
You don't just throw that away
for nothing.
86
00:03:52,632 --> 00:03:55,392
And if he would just call me
and give me some kind
87
00:03:55,387 --> 00:03:58,517
of explanation at least
I would know
this wasn't my fault.
88
00:03:58,519 --> 00:04:00,109
� Oh, sweetie.
89
00:04:02,275 --> 00:04:05,985
� I have a brilliant idea.
It's Saturday.
90
00:04:05,991 --> 00:04:08,871
Why don't we do game night
like we always do?
91
00:04:08,872 --> 00:04:12,552
� I don't think Ainsley's ready
to throw a party.
92
00:04:12,547 --> 00:04:15,587
� Actually, I would love that.
93
00:04:17,013 --> 00:04:19,393
No, but I just��I have
too much to do.
94
00:04:19,393 --> 00:04:22,823
I have, like, 300
"thank�you�slash�sorry�
I�didn't�get�married" notes,
95
00:04:22,817 --> 00:04:25,907
and then I have to take
everything back
to Kash's dad's house��
96
00:04:25,906 --> 00:04:28,236
� No, no, no, no, no, my sweet.
We'll do it.
97
00:04:28,244 --> 00:04:30,174
I'll write the thank�you notes,
seeing as I have
98
00:04:30,165 --> 00:04:32,835
my Master's in calligraphy,
and Maya will go to Hounslow.
99
00:04:32,837 --> 00:04:35,797
� Of course.
Wait, to Kash's?
100
00:04:35,801 --> 00:04:39,021
� I would take on both tasks.
Regrettably, I have but two arms.
101
00:04:40,185 --> 00:04:42,185
� It's better if it's you,
Maya.
102
00:04:42,189 --> 00:04:45,529
You barely knew him.
[sniffles]
103
00:04:47,449 --> 00:04:49,749
� I'll be back.
� Where are you going?
104
00:04:49,746 --> 00:04:51,746
� Um, I'm just going
for a quick run.
105
00:04:51,750 --> 00:04:54,880
� Now?
But we have plans to whiten
our teeth together.
106
00:04:54,881 --> 00:04:56,381
� I don't remember that.
107
00:04:56,383 --> 00:04:58,393
� Alexa, what's our schedule
for today?
108
00:04:58,387 --> 00:05:02,057
ALEXA: 11:00 a. m.,teeth�whitening with Craig.
109
00:05:02,062 --> 00:05:05,072
1:00 p. m.:Go through Craig's wallet.
110
00:05:05,068 --> 00:05:06,658
� [shushes]
Thank you, Alexa.
111
00:05:06,655 --> 00:05:08,235
� Be back, babe.
112
00:05:12,583 --> 00:05:13,843
[door closes]
113
00:05:15,255 --> 00:05:18,255
[cheerful acoustic music]
114
00:05:18,261 --> 00:05:20,391
� Duffy!
Duffy, hi!
115
00:05:20,390 --> 00:05:22,100
� Oh.
[laughs]
116
00:05:22,102 --> 00:05:24,572
Hi, Tabby.
Or should I say, "Bonjour"?
117
00:05:24,566 --> 00:05:26,276
� That's right,
because I'm a French teacher.
118
00:05:26,277 --> 00:05:27,987
You remembered.
� Yeah.
119
00:05:27,989 --> 00:05:29,529
� Are you planning on seeing
the student production
120
00:05:29,534 --> 00:05:31,084
of Angels in America?
121
00:05:31,078 --> 00:05:32,498
Because I have a spare ticket
for tonight.
122
00:05:32,497 --> 00:05:34,167
� Oh, wow, um,
I would love that,
123
00:05:34,168 --> 00:05:35,878
but I'm actually headed
into town.
124
00:05:35,880 --> 00:05:38,260
Yeah, my friends and I sort
of do this game night
125
00:05:38,259 --> 00:05:40,009
every other Saturday.
126
00:05:40,013 --> 00:05:42,983
� That's sounds so much fun.
I love games.
127
00:05:42,977 --> 00:05:44,767
� It is fun.
It's the��it's the best.
128
00:05:44,772 --> 00:05:48,152
Maybe you and your friends
should do something similar.
129
00:05:48,154 --> 00:05:52,084
� True.
That's a great idea.
130
00:05:52,078 --> 00:05:53,368
� Yeah.
131
00:05:55,920 --> 00:05:58,720
Uh, okay.
Well, um, enjoy
Angels in America.
132
00:05:58,717 --> 00:06:01,717
[upbeat music]
133
00:06:01,723 --> 00:06:04,733
♪ ♪
134
00:06:04,729 --> 00:06:08,239
� Kashif, wake up.
135
00:06:08,236 --> 00:06:10,156
[groans]
Come on, lazy bones.
136
00:06:10,156 --> 00:06:11,736
Get up.
137
00:06:11,743 --> 00:06:13,963
[groans]
138
00:06:13,956 --> 00:06:16,496
Kashif.
� Baba, what?
139
00:06:16,503 --> 00:06:18,803
� Good, you are awake.
We're out of milk.
140
00:06:18,799 --> 00:06:21,259
I need you to go get some.
� Can Asif get it?
141
00:06:21,262 --> 00:06:23,852
� You have not been out
of the house for a week.
142
00:06:23,850 --> 00:06:26,400
You know, since
your very public humiliation.
143
00:06:27,692 --> 00:06:29,282
� I remember what happened,
Dad.
144
00:06:29,278 --> 00:06:31,658
� Have you even called Ainsley
to apologize?
145
00:06:31,658 --> 00:06:33,948
� [exhales]
No.
146
00:06:33,954 --> 00:06:35,124
She doesn't want
an "I'm sorry,"
147
00:06:35,123 --> 00:06:36,583
she wants an explanation,
148
00:06:36,584 --> 00:06:38,304
and I don't know what to say
to her.
149
00:06:38,296 --> 00:06:40,586
� Well, you can't hide here
forever.
150
00:06:40,592 --> 00:06:44,472
� I'm not hiding.
I'm processing.
151
00:06:44,474 --> 00:06:46,274
� And you can't do that
at Tesco's?
152
00:06:46,270 --> 00:06:48,860
� Hey, Graham Norton,
I can't sleep
153
00:06:48,859 --> 00:06:51,159
with this chat show going on.
154
00:06:51,155 --> 00:06:52,865
� Come on, we also need
laundry detergent,
and you do all the laundry.
155
00:06:52,867 --> 00:06:55,287
� [sighs]
Fine, I'm going.
156
00:06:55,288 --> 00:06:58,288
[sentimental music]
157
00:06:58,294 --> 00:07:05,274
♪ ♪
158
00:07:08,439 --> 00:07:10,359
� Hey, I'm heading to Hounslow.
159
00:07:11,821 --> 00:07:13,701
Were you stalking
Kash's Instagram?
160
00:07:15,996 --> 00:07:19,416
� Look at this caption
from six months ago.
161
00:07:19,419 --> 00:07:21,009
"Doesn't get better than this."
What does that mean?
162
00:07:21,006 --> 00:07:22,336
That everything that came
after that trip
163
00:07:22,342 --> 00:07:23,642
was a disappointment?
164
00:07:23,637 --> 00:07:24,757
� No, it means he's basic
and bad
165
00:07:24,764 --> 00:07:26,524
at writing Instagram captions.
166
00:07:26,518 --> 00:07:28,438
Hey, stop torturing yourself.
167
00:07:28,437 --> 00:07:30,147
� That's easy for you to say.
168
00:07:30,149 --> 00:07:32,149
At least you know why things
ended with Ted.
169
00:07:32,153 --> 00:07:35,083
� Yeah, he cheated on me
in a very public way.
170
00:07:35,076 --> 00:07:36,616
You know what?
You're right.
171
00:07:36,621 --> 00:07:38,631
I am lucky.
What a cool guy.
172
00:07:38,625 --> 00:07:41,085
� [laughs]
173
00:07:41,088 --> 00:07:45,138
Do you have to leave on Monday
or can you just stay forever?
174
00:07:45,138 --> 00:07:48,388
� No, I gotta get back
and figure out my life.
175
00:07:48,394 --> 00:07:49,944
� Hmm.
176
00:07:49,939 --> 00:07:51,649
� Besides, if you're away
from D. C. too long,
177
00:07:51,651 --> 00:07:53,361
Mike Pence turns your office
into a chapel.
178
00:07:53,362 --> 00:07:55,992
� [laughs]
179
00:07:55,993 --> 00:07:58,873
Okay, enough wallowing.
I gotta go to work.
180
00:08:00,042 --> 00:08:02,972
Hey, thanks for going
to Kash's.
181
00:08:02,965 --> 00:08:05,965
[melancholy music]
182
00:08:05,971 --> 00:08:12,991
♪ ♪
183
00:08:19,497 --> 00:08:21,287
Mmm.
184
00:08:21,293 --> 00:08:27,723
♪ ♪
185
00:08:27,723 --> 00:08:29,773
[exhales]
186
00:08:29,769 --> 00:08:32,189
♪ ♪
187
00:08:32,190 --> 00:08:35,200
[indistinct chatter]
188
00:08:37,450 --> 00:08:39,500
[crowd groans]
[whistle blows]
189
00:08:39,496 --> 00:08:40,826
♪ ♪
190
00:08:40,832 --> 00:08:43,172
COACH: Come on, Molly.
Your turn!
191
00:08:43,170 --> 00:08:44,800
Molly, where you going?
192
00:08:44,799 --> 00:08:49,519
♪ ♪
193
00:08:49,517 --> 00:08:54,357
� Molly, go back to the game.
� Okay!
194
00:08:54,359 --> 00:08:55,989
� Julia!
195
00:08:55,988 --> 00:08:58,078
Well, what are the chances
of seeing you here?
196
00:08:58,075 --> 00:08:59,995
'Cause I was at the park
running,
197
00:08:59,996 --> 00:09:00,996
you're here, I'm here��
198
00:09:00,998 --> 00:09:02,668
� Save it.
199
00:09:02,668 --> 00:09:05,088
You've been watching the kids
for forty minutes.
200
00:09:05,089 --> 00:09:06,679
The other mums think
you're a pedo.
201
00:09:08,053 --> 00:09:11,273
� Look, I'm sorry,
but I had to see her.
202
00:09:11,268 --> 00:09:12,898
� Not here.
203
00:09:12,896 --> 00:09:14,646
I'll message you where.
Now go.
204
00:09:14,650 --> 00:09:17,660
[solemn music]
205
00:09:17,656 --> 00:09:24,666
♪ ♪
206
00:09:35,817 --> 00:09:38,407
[phone beeps]
� [shushes]
207
00:09:39,659 --> 00:09:41,239
[sighs]
208
00:09:41,244 --> 00:09:44,134
♪ ♪
209
00:09:44,125 --> 00:09:46,545
[message bleeps]
210
00:09:46,547 --> 00:09:47,797
� Thief!
� Ah!
211
00:09:47,800 --> 00:09:49,430
HAROON:
Parcel thief!
212
00:09:49,427 --> 00:09:51,597
You are the one who keeps
stealing my Amazon boxes!
213
00:09:51,599 --> 00:09:54,609
� No, no, no, no.
I'm Maya, Ainsley's friend
from the wedding
214
00:09:54,605 --> 00:09:56,315
or almost wedding.
215
00:09:56,316 --> 00:09:57,696
I just brought back
Kash's stuff.
216
00:09:57,695 --> 00:09:59,195
� Oh.
[chuckles nervously]
217
00:09:59,197 --> 00:10:02,747
Of course.
Thanks.
218
00:10:02,746 --> 00:10:05,376
No, no, no, no.
You must come in.
219
00:10:05,376 --> 00:10:07,506
I just made
French bread pizzas.
220
00:10:07,506 --> 00:10:10,886
They come in a pack of four,
and there are only three of us.
221
00:10:10,887 --> 00:10:12,927
� I really can't.
� Please.
222
00:10:12,933 --> 00:10:16,023
For all the trouble
you have taken to bring
Kashif's things.
223
00:10:16,022 --> 00:10:19,402
� Yeah, I have a cab...
224
00:10:19,404 --> 00:10:20,664
had.
225
00:10:20,657 --> 00:10:22,697
Um, I'll call an Uber.
226
00:10:22,703 --> 00:10:26,253
� And you'll wait for it
with a belly full
of French bread pizza.
227
00:10:26,251 --> 00:10:27,421
Come in.
228
00:10:27,420 --> 00:10:29,590
� [sighs]
Okay, only for a minute.
229
00:10:29,592 --> 00:10:31,472
HAROON:
Oh, please.
230
00:10:31,470 --> 00:10:34,270
Get up, boys,
we have a visitor.
231
00:10:35,520 --> 00:10:37,150
� [sighs]
232
00:10:37,148 --> 00:10:40,148
[bright music]
233
00:10:40,154 --> 00:10:41,624
♪ ♪
234
00:10:41,616 --> 00:10:44,576
� Maya, hi.
� Hi.
235
00:10:44,580 --> 00:10:46,580
♪ ♪
236
00:10:53,096 --> 00:10:54,556
� What are you doing here?
237
00:10:54,558 --> 00:10:55,938
� I brought your stuff
from Ainsley's.
238
00:10:55,936 --> 00:10:57,976
� Really?
Um, thank you.
239
00:10:57,981 --> 00:11:00,031
I've been wearing
the same shirt for a week.
240
00:11:01,823 --> 00:11:03,793
Wait, where's the rest of it?
241
00:11:03,785 --> 00:11:05,445
� She gave it to charity.
242
00:11:05,454 --> 00:11:08,464
Oxfam thanks you
for your donation.
243
00:11:08,460 --> 00:11:11,760
� French bread pizza.
[chuckles]
244
00:11:11,759 --> 00:11:13,389
� Thank you.
245
00:11:13,387 --> 00:11:16,807
� Feel at home.
� I can't stay for very long.
246
00:11:16,811 --> 00:11:18,771
� Maya, do you watch
Mastermind ?
247
00:11:18,773 --> 00:11:21,703
It's my favorite quiz show.
I'm very good at it.
248
00:11:21,696 --> 00:11:25,076
� Here we go.What color are the benchesin the House of Lords?
249
00:11:25,077 --> 00:11:28,127
� Trick question!
There are no benches.
[laughs]
250
00:11:28,125 --> 00:11:29,665
� Red.� Yes.
251
00:11:29,670 --> 00:11:31,590
� [exclaims]
� Oh, it's like Jeopardy!.
252
00:11:31,591 --> 00:11:33,601
[applause]
253
00:11:33,595 --> 00:11:36,975
� See?
In America, everyone watches TV
with their father.
254
00:11:36,976 --> 00:11:39,016
It's cool.
255
00:11:39,022 --> 00:11:40,322
JOHN HUMPHRYS:Which composer was bornin Salzburg
256
00:11:40,316 --> 00:11:42,446
on 27th of January, 1756?
257
00:11:42,445 --> 00:11:44,065
� Beethoven.
� It's Mozart.
258
00:11:44,073 --> 00:11:45,283
� Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart.JOHN: Yes.
259
00:11:45,284 --> 00:11:46,664
What name of Central Asian...
260
00:11:46,662 --> 00:11:48,172
� You're so smart.
That's my type.
261
00:11:48,165 --> 00:11:50,455
� [laughs]
� Don't say stuff like that.
262
00:11:50,461 --> 00:11:53,051
JOHN:Next in the chair nowis Brian.
263
00:11:53,050 --> 00:11:56,060
[uplifting music]
264
00:11:56,056 --> 00:11:58,136
♪ ♪
265
00:11:58,143 --> 00:12:02,323
� Dear Mr. and Mrs. Parsons,I truly apologize
266
00:12:02,318 --> 00:12:04,448
for the wedding'sunforeseen turn.
267
00:12:04,447 --> 00:12:08,287
Dear Mr. and Mrs. Bose,the groom acted erratically
268
00:12:08,288 --> 00:12:10,538
due to an undiagnosedbrain parasite.
269
00:12:10,543 --> 00:12:13,223
Thank you for the ceramicpumpkin tureen.
270
00:12:13,215 --> 00:12:15,715
Thank youfor the six ramekins.
271
00:12:15,720 --> 00:12:18,770
I can almost see the soufflésthat could have risen.
272
00:12:18,768 --> 00:12:20,978
Yours, Ainsley.
273
00:12:22,441 --> 00:12:23,951
[indistinct chatter from TV]
274
00:12:23,945 --> 00:12:25,525
� Quentin, I've been at this
for hours,
275
00:12:25,532 --> 00:12:27,792
and I'm only on my sixth card.
276
00:12:27,786 --> 00:12:29,866
My hand is a frozen claw.
277
00:12:29,873 --> 00:12:31,713
� Well, darling, what is it
we always say to Giles
278
00:12:31,711 --> 00:12:33,801
when faced
with a difficult task?
279
00:12:33,798 --> 00:12:35,588
"Quit."
GEMMA: No, I can't.
280
00:12:35,593 --> 00:12:38,273
I promised Ainsley, and I can't
get shown up by Maya.
281
00:12:38,265 --> 00:12:40,895
She's trying to steal
my best friend.
282
00:12:40,895 --> 00:12:43,815
� Adults with best friends.
How horribly American.
283
00:12:43,818 --> 00:12:45,528
� You only say that
because all your best friends
284
00:12:45,530 --> 00:12:47,740
disappeared on safari.
285
00:12:47,743 --> 00:12:50,253
� Yeah, I'm sure they'll
turn up.
286
00:12:50,247 --> 00:12:51,957
JOHN:What was the originalprofession of the writer
287
00:12:51,959 --> 00:12:52,999
Sir Arthur Conan Doyle?
288
00:12:53,003 --> 00:12:54,673
� Trick question!
289
00:12:54,673 --> 00:12:56,263
He was a character invented
by Sherlock Holmes!
290
00:12:56,259 --> 00:12:57,509
BOTH:
Doctor.
291
00:12:57,512 --> 00:12:59,182
� Doctor.JOHN: Yes.
292
00:12:59,182 --> 00:13:00,892
HAROON:
This game is rigged
against me!
293
00:13:00,894 --> 00:13:02,904
Never once a question
about Pakistan or old coins!
294
00:13:02,898 --> 00:13:04,318
[phone beeps]
295
00:13:04,317 --> 00:13:07,107
� Oh, uh, I should go.
My car's here.
296
00:13:09,368 --> 00:13:11,458
� Your visit was
transformative.
297
00:13:11,456 --> 00:13:13,796
� Oh, my God.
� I'm sorry for what
my brother did.
298
00:13:13,795 --> 00:13:15,455
It's not a reflection
on our family
299
00:13:15,464 --> 00:13:17,014
or how we treat women.
300
00:13:17,009 --> 00:13:19,429
Please consider following me
on Instagram.
301
00:13:19,430 --> 00:13:21,230
� I think I will.
302
00:13:21,226 --> 00:13:22,766
� Thanks for bringing my stuff.
303
00:13:25,025 --> 00:13:27,025
Hey!
HAROON: Kenya!
304
00:13:28,281 --> 00:13:29,581
� Is Ainsley doing okay?
305
00:13:29,576 --> 00:13:31,536
� "Okay"?
Of course she's not okay.
306
00:13:31,539 --> 00:13:34,629
She got left at the altar
and has no idea why.
307
00:13:34,628 --> 00:13:36,628
Why haven't you called her?
308
00:13:36,632 --> 00:13:38,682
� I'm probably the last person
she wants to talk to right now.
309
00:13:38,678 --> 00:13:39,888
� That's bullshit.
310
00:13:39,888 --> 00:13:41,178
You're being a coward,
311
00:13:41,182 --> 00:13:43,232
and she deserves
better than that.
312
00:13:43,228 --> 00:13:44,478
HAROON:The rings of Jupiter.
313
00:13:44,480 --> 00:13:45,650
BOTH:
Saturn!
314
00:13:47,529 --> 00:13:50,539
[light music]
315
00:13:50,535 --> 00:13:53,285
♪ ♪
316
00:13:53,290 --> 00:13:56,250
[upbeat music]
317
00:13:56,254 --> 00:14:01,264
♪ ♪
318
00:14:01,264 --> 00:14:03,814
� Ainsley.
� That's right.
319
00:14:03,811 --> 00:14:06,231
The bitch is back.
� Oh, honey.
320
00:14:06,232 --> 00:14:07,992
I've been so worried about you.
321
00:14:07,986 --> 00:14:10,116
I was almost certain
you'd kill yourself.
322
00:14:10,115 --> 00:14:14,665
� Oh, well, thank you, Tony,
but I'm okay.
323
00:14:15,919 --> 00:14:18,209
How are things around here?
� Um...
324
00:14:18,214 --> 00:14:20,854
� It has been a nightmare
without you.
325
00:14:20,845 --> 00:14:24,265
Tony 2 makes us start at 10:00
and work until 5:00.
326
00:14:24,268 --> 00:14:25,978
� Those would be
the store hours.
327
00:14:25,980 --> 00:14:29,030
Why don't you dust
the decorative birds?
328
00:14:31,617 --> 00:14:35,367
Are you sure it's not too soon
for you to be coming back?
329
00:14:35,374 --> 00:14:37,344
� Mm.
Mm, I know myself.
330
00:14:37,336 --> 00:14:40,216
The best thing for me to do
is to just forget about Kash
331
00:14:40,217 --> 00:14:42,807
and weddings and work.
332
00:14:42,806 --> 00:14:43,926
� Hmm.
333
00:14:43,933 --> 00:14:45,733
[door bell jingles]
334
00:14:45,728 --> 00:14:49,318
� Hi, welcome
to Ainsley Howard Designs.
335
00:14:49,318 --> 00:14:51,818
I'm Ainsley Howard.
How can we help you?
336
00:14:51,824 --> 00:14:54,544
� Oh, we just got married
and would love
337
00:14:54,538 --> 00:14:56,328
for you to decorate
our new home.
338
00:14:56,332 --> 00:14:59,262
� We want it to be as beautiful
as the love we share.
339
00:14:59,255 --> 00:15:01,085
[both chuckle]
340
00:15:01,092 --> 00:15:03,142
FEMALE CUSTOMER:
[moans]
341
00:15:03,138 --> 00:15:05,308
� Let's get started.
342
00:15:05,308 --> 00:15:08,308
[animated music]
343
00:15:08,314 --> 00:15:15,334
♪ ♪
344
00:15:18,418 --> 00:15:20,878
� Hey, Julia.
345
00:15:20,882 --> 00:15:23,432
Wow, the National Gallery.
346
00:15:23,428 --> 00:15:25,808
And who knew they had so much
great art?
347
00:15:25,808 --> 00:15:27,438
� I wanted to pick
a public place
348
00:15:27,436 --> 00:15:28,806
where you couldn't make
a scene
349
00:15:28,814 --> 00:15:30,444
and Westminster Abbey
was closed.
350
00:15:30,442 --> 00:15:31,862
They're doing
another Churchill movie.
351
00:15:31,862 --> 00:15:33,452
� Well, I'll try to be quiet,
352
00:15:33,448 --> 00:15:35,658
but American talking
is British screaming.
353
00:15:35,661 --> 00:15:36,831
� [shushes]
354
00:15:36,830 --> 00:15:38,710
� Sorry.
355
00:15:38,709 --> 00:15:40,509
� When I contacted you
a year ago,
356
00:15:40,505 --> 00:15:42,415
it was to get
medical information.
357
00:15:42,424 --> 00:15:44,224
If you wanted to be a father
so badly,
358
00:15:44,220 --> 00:15:46,100
you could have tried when I was
pregnant five years ago.
359
00:15:46,099 --> 00:15:47,769
� I didn't know you
were pregnant.
360
00:15:47,769 --> 00:15:49,769
You just left a message
saying we needed to talk.
361
00:15:49,773 --> 00:15:50,943
� Which you ignored.
362
00:15:50,942 --> 00:15:51,942
� Because I thought you wanted
363
00:15:51,944 --> 00:15:53,364
to talk about us dating,
364
00:15:53,363 --> 00:15:54,993
and I wasn't ready
for commitment.
365
00:15:54,991 --> 00:15:58,251
� A child is the ultimate
commitment, you twat.
366
00:15:58,248 --> 00:15:59,998
And I don't need you
breaking her heart
367
00:16:00,001 --> 00:16:01,631
when you realize
that being a parent is more
368
00:16:01,630 --> 00:16:03,800
than just kicking a football
back and forth.
369
00:16:07,349 --> 00:16:08,729
� What's this?
370
00:16:08,727 --> 00:16:10,187
� It's a document saying
that you agree
371
00:16:10,188 --> 00:16:12,028
to give up all
your parental rights.
372
00:16:13,111 --> 00:16:14,821
I want it signed by Monday.
373
00:16:14,823 --> 00:16:17,373
� Wow.
You went to a lawyer
and everything.
374
00:16:17,369 --> 00:16:21,039
� I am a lawyer.
A very good lawyer.
375
00:16:21,043 --> 00:16:23,013
Monday.
376
00:16:25,678 --> 00:16:26,888
� Wow.
� [shushes]
377
00:16:26,889 --> 00:16:28,389
� You shush.
378
00:16:28,391 --> 00:16:31,401
[somber music]
379
00:16:31,397 --> 00:16:35,157
♪ ♪
380
00:16:35,155 --> 00:16:37,735
� Darling.
� Hmm?
381
00:16:37,744 --> 00:16:40,584
� I was wondering,
tonight maybe we could watch
382
00:16:40,583 --> 00:16:42,343
a bit of the snooker
and maybe...
383
00:16:42,336 --> 00:16:46,006
You could stay sober and drive
me home from the club.
384
00:16:46,010 --> 00:16:48,520
� No, I'm going to game night.
385
00:16:48,515 --> 00:16:49,765
I thought maybe you could
come too?
386
00:16:49,768 --> 00:16:52,188
� Oh, no, I'd rather die.
387
00:16:52,189 --> 00:16:54,649
Thank you, though.
388
00:16:54,653 --> 00:16:56,113
♪ ♪
389
00:16:56,113 --> 00:16:58,413
� [sighs]
390
00:16:58,409 --> 00:17:02,419
� Oh, this table's lovely.
Oh, but the sharp corners...
391
00:17:02,417 --> 00:17:04,337
I just worry if we have
a baby...
392
00:17:04,338 --> 00:17:08,348
� But that's a long way off.
[laughs]
393
00:17:08,346 --> 00:17:10,056
What?
394
00:17:10,058 --> 00:17:12,858
� I was going to wait
until tonight to tell you.
395
00:17:12,855 --> 00:17:14,355
� We're having a baby?
396
00:17:14,358 --> 00:17:17,108
� Yeah!
397
00:17:17,114 --> 00:17:20,504
� Do you have any champagne?
� Sure.
398
00:17:20,495 --> 00:17:22,495
Let me get some.
[laughs]
399
00:17:22,499 --> 00:17:25,379
[quiet indistinct chatter]
400
00:17:25,380 --> 00:17:26,680
TONY 2:
Congratulations, again.
401
00:17:26,675 --> 00:17:28,465
BOTH:
Thank you.
402
00:17:28,469 --> 00:17:30,269
[door bell jingles]
403
00:17:30,265 --> 00:17:33,265
[soft sentimental music]
404
00:17:33,271 --> 00:17:36,241
♪ ♪
405
00:17:36,235 --> 00:17:38,525
� Every time a relationship
has ended,
406
00:17:38,532 --> 00:17:41,752
I've always known why:
mooch, possessive,
407
00:17:41,747 --> 00:17:44,337
kisses his mom on the lips,
is Russell Brand.
408
00:17:44,335 --> 00:17:48,175
But with Kash,
I don't know why.
409
00:17:48,176 --> 00:17:49,636
And I loved him so much.
410
00:17:49,638 --> 00:17:51,928
� Mm�hmm.
411
00:17:51,933 --> 00:17:55,233
� What do you mean "mm�hmm"?
� I'm agreeing with you.
412
00:17:55,231 --> 00:17:56,821
� No, that's the "mm�hmm"
you give me
413
00:17:56,818 --> 00:17:58,028
when I ask if I would look good
with bangs,
414
00:17:58,029 --> 00:17:59,029
which I would, by the way.
415
00:17:59,031 --> 00:18:00,621
� Mm�hmm.
416
00:18:00,618 --> 00:18:02,958
Listen, when I was 14,
I fell madly in love
417
00:18:02,955 --> 00:18:05,455
with George Michael,
knew everything about him.
418
00:18:05,460 --> 00:18:08,380
Likes: cross earrings,
dislikes: famine in Africa.
419
00:18:08,383 --> 00:18:10,103
In my mind, we were one.
420
00:18:10,095 --> 00:18:11,885
� Okay, what does this
have to do with me and Kash?
421
00:18:11,890 --> 00:18:14,140
� I'm afraid you knew
your fiancé less
422
00:18:14,144 --> 00:18:17,484
than I knew George Michael,
whom I never met.
423
00:18:17,484 --> 00:18:19,704
� Excuse me,
we were soul mates.
424
00:18:19,698 --> 00:18:21,828
� Okay, so, what did you get
him for his birthday?
425
00:18:21,827 --> 00:18:23,407
� Whiskey stones and an iPad.
426
00:18:23,413 --> 00:18:24,923
� Oh, my God,
such a great gift.
427
00:18:24,916 --> 00:18:27,956
� Yeah.
� If he were your stepfather.
428
00:18:27,964 --> 00:18:30,764
Tell me...tell me what
you liked about him.
429
00:18:30,761 --> 00:18:32,391
� [sighs]
430
00:18:32,389 --> 00:18:36,769
The sex was great,
he's charming, he's smart...
431
00:18:39,904 --> 00:18:41,584
I liked the way he dressed.
432
00:18:43,996 --> 00:18:48,416
Maybe the things I love
about him transcended words.
433
00:18:48,421 --> 00:18:51,431
[bright music]
434
00:18:51,427 --> 00:18:54,927
♪ ♪
435
00:18:54,934 --> 00:18:56,104
[sighs]
436
00:18:56,103 --> 00:19:01,033
♪ ♪
437
00:19:01,030 --> 00:19:04,040
BASHEER:
Hey, yo, Kash!
Kash!
438
00:19:04,036 --> 00:19:06,456
Yo, my brother!
Come here, man.
439
00:19:06,457 --> 00:19:07,667
� Basheer.
� Yeah.
440
00:19:07,668 --> 00:19:09,048
KASH:
How's it going, man?
441
00:19:09,046 --> 00:19:10,046
� I heard you was back
in our ends.
442
00:19:10,048 --> 00:19:11,758
It's been ages, man.
443
00:19:11,760 --> 00:19:13,430
� Yeah, temporarily.
Yeah, I'm staying with my dad.
444
00:19:13,429 --> 00:19:15,309
� Yes, of course.
I heard about the wedding.
445
00:19:15,308 --> 00:19:16,898
I'm very sorry about that.
446
00:19:16,895 --> 00:19:18,435
Literally everyone's been
talking about it, though.
447
00:19:18,439 --> 00:19:20,529
You need to know that, yeah?
448
00:19:20,528 --> 00:19:22,198
Not that I have any confirmed
details, of course,
449
00:19:22,197 --> 00:19:23,777
'cause it's not like
you invited me
450
00:19:23,784 --> 00:19:25,044
or any of the old crew, so...
451
00:19:25,036 --> 00:19:26,366
� Oh, right, yeah.
452
00:19:26,372 --> 00:19:29,002
I'm��I'm sorry about that, man.
453
00:19:29,002 --> 00:19:30,632
� I guess you're not going
on the honeymoon then.
454
00:19:30,631 --> 00:19:32,971
� No, just staying at home
every night with my dad.
455
00:19:32,969 --> 00:19:34,809
� That's great news.
I'll tell you why.
456
00:19:34,806 --> 00:19:37,516
That means you're free to come
to my house party tonight.
457
00:19:37,520 --> 00:19:40,110
� Uh...
� Listen, it's a real
"who's who" of Hounslow.
458
00:19:40,108 --> 00:19:41,898
Especially now you're coming.
� I don't know, man.
459
00:19:41,903 --> 00:19:43,743
I'm��I'm not really in the mood
to go to a party tonight.
460
00:19:43,740 --> 00:19:44,830
� Listen, I understand.
461
00:19:44,826 --> 00:19:46,366
You're emotional,
462
00:19:46,370 --> 00:19:48,370
but this ain't no normal
house party, brother.
463
00:19:48,374 --> 00:19:51,344
This is DJ Foreplay's
farewell tour.
464
00:19:51,338 --> 00:19:53,128
� Right, yeah, DJ Foreplay.
What was it?
465
00:19:53,134 --> 00:19:56,224
"He gets you hot and bothered
before the main event."
466
00:19:56,223 --> 00:19:58,563
� So I'll see you there?
� No, probably not, man.
467
00:19:58,562 --> 00:20:01,362
� I'll see you there.
� No, I don't think so.
468
00:20:01,358 --> 00:20:03,028
� Kash, I'ma see you there!
� Later, Bash.
469
00:20:03,029 --> 00:20:05,489
Good to see you, man.
� Kash, you're coming.
470
00:20:05,491 --> 00:20:07,291
KASH: Yeah.
� [exclaims]
471
00:20:07,287 --> 00:20:10,287
[contemplative music]
472
00:20:10,293 --> 00:20:12,343
♪ ♪
473
00:20:12,339 --> 00:20:13,629
[phone beeps]
474
00:20:13,634 --> 00:20:20,364
♪ ♪
475
00:20:20,355 --> 00:20:21,815
[message bleeps]
476
00:20:24,697 --> 00:20:26,237
[message bleeps]
477
00:20:26,241 --> 00:20:30,001
♪ ♪
478
00:20:29,999 --> 00:20:31,129
� Fuck.
479
00:20:38,182 --> 00:20:40,982
� I need to talk to you.
� Oh, my God!
I'm naked.
480
00:20:40,980 --> 00:20:42,400
� Well, if you don't want me
to see you naked,
481
00:20:42,399 --> 00:20:43,609
don't take a bath in my tub.
482
00:20:43,610 --> 00:20:45,200
� But we don't have tubs
at Peath
483
00:20:45,196 --> 00:20:47,026
and they make the teachers use
the boys' showers
484
00:20:47,033 --> 00:20:49,543
and showerheads are so low
that I have to sit on a stool.
485
00:20:49,539 --> 00:20:51,209
ZARA: Look, I need to know
something.
486
00:20:51,208 --> 00:20:54,128
In college, did Craig and Maya
ever have a thing?
487
00:20:54,131 --> 00:20:55,511
� What?
No.
488
00:20:55,509 --> 00:20:58,639
I'm the one that��uh,
that knows Craig
489
00:20:58,640 --> 00:21:00,980
better than anyone,
and there has never been
490
00:21:00,978 --> 00:21:02,018
anything with Maya.
491
00:21:02,022 --> 00:21:03,112
� I don't know.
492
00:21:03,107 --> 00:21:04,147
They've been friends forever
493
00:21:04,151 --> 00:21:05,781
and have great chemistry.
494
00:21:05,779 --> 00:21:07,239
� Actually, I have
better chemistry with her.
495
00:21:07,240 --> 00:21:08,910
When we banter,
people are like,
496
00:21:08,910 --> 00:21:11,040
"What?
Is this the Gilmore Girls ?"
497
00:21:11,040 --> 00:21:12,460
� Well, something dodgy's
going on.
498
00:21:12,459 --> 00:21:14,419
Look, I found this necklace.
499
00:21:14,421 --> 00:21:16,841
It's obviously for Maya.
500
00:21:16,843 --> 00:21:18,263
� Okay, whoa, whoa.
501
00:21:18,262 --> 00:21:20,772
Let's not jump
to any conclusions, okay?
502
00:21:20,768 --> 00:21:24,898
"M" could mean anything:
Mary, Meghan, Monica��
503
00:21:24,901 --> 00:21:27,321
� Those are other women.
That doesn't make me
feel better.
504
00:21:27,322 --> 00:21:29,702
God, Duffy.
505
00:21:29,702 --> 00:21:31,542
� Why don't you just ask him?
506
00:21:31,539 --> 00:21:33,669
� Because I don't want him
to think I'm some type
507
00:21:33,668 --> 00:21:35,918
of ultra�possessive
paranoid girlfriend,
508
00:21:35,923 --> 00:21:38,433
which, yes, obviously I am,
Duffy!
509
00:21:38,427 --> 00:21:40,887
But who wouldn't be with all
these Ms running around
510
00:21:40,891 --> 00:21:42,351
stealing everyone's men?
511
00:21:42,352 --> 00:21:43,482
� Do you want me to talk
to him?
512
00:21:43,479 --> 00:21:44,979
ZARA: No.
513
00:21:44,982 --> 00:21:46,532
And don't mention the necklace.
514
00:21:46,528 --> 00:21:48,318
The suds have moved.
I've seen your penis.
515
00:21:48,322 --> 00:21:50,742
� Oh��Oh, God.
What?
516
00:21:50,744 --> 00:21:53,674
[indistinct TV chatter]
517
00:21:53,667 --> 00:21:55,667
[phone beeps]
518
00:22:02,433 --> 00:22:04,733
� Dad, this TV sucks.
519
00:22:04,730 --> 00:22:06,110
What happened to the one
I got you?
520
00:22:06,108 --> 00:22:07,818
� I gave it
to Sumro from masjid.
521
00:22:07,820 --> 00:22:10,030
He's just moved from Pakistan
and missed his wife,
522
00:22:10,032 --> 00:22:11,542
so I thought I could cheer
him up.
523
00:22:11,536 --> 00:22:13,206
� I already gave it
to a Pakistani man
524
00:22:13,205 --> 00:22:15,205
who misses his wife, you.
525
00:22:15,209 --> 00:22:19,259
� Pfft.
[groans]
526
00:22:19,259 --> 00:22:21,469
It may not feel like it,
but in the long run,
527
00:22:21,471 --> 00:22:23,811
maybe this was for the best.
528
00:22:23,810 --> 00:22:25,520
� I know,
because she wasn't Muslim,
529
00:22:25,522 --> 00:22:27,192
and she didn't know
how to make roti.
530
00:22:27,192 --> 00:22:29,072
� No, no, no, because something
was telling you
531
00:22:29,070 --> 00:22:30,700
this wasn't right.
532
00:22:30,699 --> 00:22:34,709
And even though it wasn't easy,
you listened.
533
00:22:34,707 --> 00:22:35,787
� Thanks, Dad.
534
00:22:35,792 --> 00:22:37,172
� And now, I have something
535
00:22:37,170 --> 00:22:38,800
which will really cheer you up.
536
00:22:38,798 --> 00:22:40,258
BOTH: Lagaan.
� No, Dad, no.
537
00:22:40,259 --> 00:22:42,179
Look, I've watched Lagaan
700 times.
538
00:22:42,180 --> 00:22:44,140
It will definitely not
cheer me up.
539
00:22:44,142 --> 00:22:46,942
HAROON:
Ha.
540
00:22:46,940 --> 00:22:50,150
Fine, I'll just watch it then.
My wife is dead.
541
00:22:50,154 --> 00:22:53,164
[opening theme playing]
542
00:22:53,160 --> 00:22:55,960
♪ ♪
543
00:22:55,958 --> 00:22:59,008
� Actually, um,
I've got plans tonight.
544
00:22:59,005 --> 00:23:00,625
Love you.
545
00:23:02,470 --> 00:23:05,480
[upbeat pop music]
546
00:23:05,476 --> 00:23:07,766
♪ ♪
547
00:23:07,773 --> 00:23:10,283
� Uh, "binta's" not a word.
Use it in a sentence.
548
00:23:10,278 --> 00:23:13,328
� I've never "binta" the opera.
549
00:23:13,325 --> 00:23:15,995
� Just give it to her.
550
00:23:15,998 --> 00:23:18,548
� Okay, yeah,
that's a triple word score,
551
00:23:18,545 --> 00:23:20,255
so she just won.
552
00:23:20,256 --> 00:23:21,756
� Wow, good job.
553
00:23:21,759 --> 00:23:24,259
� Okay, I'm gonna make a toast.
554
00:23:27,020 --> 00:23:29,110
To Ainsley,
555
00:23:29,107 --> 00:23:32,567
who's had a terrible week.
556
00:23:32,573 --> 00:23:35,333
Maybe the worst week
a woman can possibly have.
557
00:23:35,328 --> 00:23:37,828
Well, Joan of Arc,
Marie Antoinette,
558
00:23:37,833 --> 00:23:40,673
basically any woman born
before 1900...
559
00:23:40,672 --> 00:23:42,182
� [laughs]
560
00:23:42,175 --> 00:23:45,965
� But the point is,
is that we love you,
561
00:23:45,974 --> 00:23:47,234
and you'll get through this.
562
00:23:47,226 --> 00:23:49,396
We'll help you
get through this.
563
00:23:49,397 --> 00:23:51,027
And Kash sucks.
564
00:23:51,026 --> 00:23:53,616
ALL:
Kash sucks.
565
00:23:54,491 --> 00:23:56,291
CRAIG: A fox!
DUFFY: No, no, no, no.
566
00:23:56,286 --> 00:23:59,326
� Okay, wait, wait, a squirrel.
[overlapping chatter]
567
00:23:59,334 --> 00:24:01,054
DUFFY:
How do you say��they're not
supposed to be words.
568
00:24:01,046 --> 00:24:02,876
CRAIG:
You're the worst drawer��
DUFFY: I am not!
569
00:24:02,883 --> 00:24:04,723
� Your hair smells woodsy.
� What?
570
00:24:04,720 --> 00:24:06,770
� Is that a new shampoo?
� Woodsy?
571
00:24:06,766 --> 00:24:08,386
Oh, it's nothing.
572
00:24:08,394 --> 00:24:10,274
Um, hey, can I ask you
a question about Quentin?
573
00:24:10,272 --> 00:24:12,152
� You mean my useless husband
who's too lazy
574
00:24:12,151 --> 00:24:14,201
to attend a party that is
literally across the street?
575
00:24:14,197 --> 00:24:15,657
Yes, what about him?
576
00:24:15,659 --> 00:24:16,739
� What did you get him
for his birthday?
577
00:24:16,744 --> 00:24:18,374
� A paperweight.
578
00:24:18,372 --> 00:24:21,342
� Right, a normal,
practical birthday present.
579
00:24:21,336 --> 00:24:23,466
� Well, I hand carved it
in the shape
580
00:24:23,465 --> 00:24:25,845
of a pet tortoise from
his boyhood in Kenya.
581
00:24:27,348 --> 00:24:28,938
� Oh.
582
00:24:28,935 --> 00:24:31,225
� I'm sorry, I don't know
what I'm doing here.
583
00:24:33,318 --> 00:24:35,658
CRAIG:
So, I shouldn't sign
the papers, right?
584
00:24:37,619 --> 00:24:40,249
� Well, what does Zara think?
585
00:24:40,249 --> 00:24:42,299
� Um, well...
586
00:24:42,295 --> 00:24:43,715
� Craig, you still haven't
told her?
587
00:24:43,715 --> 00:24:45,125
� Look��
� Oh, my God.
588
00:24:45,134 --> 00:24:46,894
� My girlfriend is not
my confidante.
589
00:24:46,888 --> 00:24:50,098
My girlfriend is who I impress
with fancy restaurants
590
00:24:50,102 --> 00:24:52,362
and make laugh
with my seven jokes.
591
00:24:52,356 --> 00:24:56,866
But this serious shit,
this is why I have friends
like you.
592
00:24:56,866 --> 00:24:58,746
� I mean, you need to think
about this little girl.
593
00:24:58,745 --> 00:24:59,905
� I am.
594
00:24:59,914 --> 00:25:01,544
I mean, who wouldn't want a dad
595
00:25:01,542 --> 00:25:03,052
who has a PlayStation
in every room, huh?
596
00:25:03,045 --> 00:25:05,125
� I don't know.
597
00:25:06,511 --> 00:25:09,641
Hey, come here.
598
00:25:09,642 --> 00:25:11,732
[cheerful music]
599
00:25:11,729 --> 00:25:13,779
AINSLEY: It's a hat.
Oh, it's a��
600
00:25:13,775 --> 00:25:15,065
DUFFY:
It's a scythe.
601
00:25:15,069 --> 00:25:16,399
AINSLEY:
Rail��a rail.
602
00:25:16,404 --> 00:25:18,704
Are you listening?
I'm saying it.
603
00:25:18,701 --> 00:25:21,501
� ♪ Down on the west coast,
my baby, let's go ♪
604
00:25:21,498 --> 00:25:24,548
♪ That's what she said ♪
605
00:25:24,547 --> 00:25:27,637
♪ Sunshine brighter than ♪
606
00:25:27,636 --> 00:25:29,056
♪ ♪
607
00:25:29,055 --> 00:25:32,095
� You came!
This party's kickin'!
608
00:25:32,103 --> 00:25:34,073
So good to see you, bro.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
609
00:25:34,065 --> 00:25:35,815
Of course, brother, yeah.
610
00:25:35,819 --> 00:25:37,199
� ♪ The iceman cometh ♪
611
00:25:37,196 --> 00:25:39,026
� It's my guy,
the one, the only,
612
00:25:39,033 --> 00:25:41,123
Kashif Khan in the apartment!
613
00:25:41,121 --> 00:25:44,381
[imitating air horn]
Bam�ba�ba�ba�ba�bam�bam�bam�bam
ba�bam!
614
00:25:44,377 --> 00:25:46,207
Ha�ha!
615
00:25:46,214 --> 00:25:48,514
Sorry, they thought you were
gonna be a lady, innit, so...
616
00:25:48,511 --> 00:25:50,931
[engine revvingon video game]
617
00:25:50,932 --> 00:25:53,352
[tires screech]
618
00:25:54,690 --> 00:25:56,530
� ♪ The iceman cometh ♪
619
00:25:56,527 --> 00:25:59,527
[indie music]
620
00:25:59,533 --> 00:26:03,963
♪ ♪
621
00:26:03,958 --> 00:26:06,918
� What are you doing?
� Nothing.
Nothing.
622
00:26:06,922 --> 00:26:09,552
It's just, um, Ted texted me.
623
00:26:09,553 --> 00:26:11,813
He's in town,
wants to see me.
624
00:26:11,807 --> 00:26:13,347
� What?
� Crazy, right?
625
00:26:13,352 --> 00:26:15,232
� In no world are you ever
thinking about
626
00:26:15,230 --> 00:26:17,230
seeing that guy again,
except in The New York Times,
627
00:26:17,234 --> 00:26:18,614
headline: "Asshole Resigns."
628
00:26:18,613 --> 00:26:20,283
� I am obviously not
going to see him.
629
00:26:20,282 --> 00:26:22,202
I was just telling you,
because it's so hilarious
630
00:26:22,203 --> 00:26:23,293
he thinks I might.
631
00:26:23,288 --> 00:26:25,498
� [scoffs]
632
00:26:25,501 --> 00:26:27,341
� He did fly all the way
to London.
633
00:26:27,338 --> 00:26:29,128
� Maya!
� It's nothing.
It's nothing.
634
00:26:29,133 --> 00:26:31,563
Please don't tell anybody.
I don't wanna hear about it.
635
00:26:32,724 --> 00:26:35,864
� Okay, I won't.
636
00:26:37,943 --> 00:26:39,453
� [exhales]
637
00:26:39,445 --> 00:26:41,985
[upbeat rock music]
638
00:26:41,992 --> 00:26:42,992
� Oh.
[scoffs]
639
00:26:42,994 --> 00:26:44,414
Okay.
640
00:26:44,414 --> 00:26:46,294
This person is a man,
uh, an adulterer,
641
00:26:46,292 --> 00:26:48,552
a politician,
and a huge asshole.
642
00:26:48,548 --> 00:26:49,878
� Uh, Anthony Weiner.
643
00:26:49,883 --> 00:26:51,053
ALL:
Ted Spencer.
644
00:26:51,052 --> 00:26:52,352
CRAIG:
Nice.
645
00:26:52,346 --> 00:26:53,516
AINSLEY:
Ooh, this guy.
Yep.
646
00:26:53,516 --> 00:26:55,016
He's a total fraud,
647
00:26:55,018 --> 00:26:56,478
he's a senator, and I wish
he was dead,
648
00:26:56,479 --> 00:26:57,649
because he screwed over Maya.
649
00:26:57,649 --> 00:26:58,859
ALL:
Ted Spencer.
650
00:26:58,860 --> 00:27:01,110
� Ted Spencer, okay.
My turn.
651
00:27:01,114 --> 00:27:02,624
Oh, okay, this guy sucks.
652
00:27:02,617 --> 00:27:04,157
He's like a monster
and a total pervert.
653
00:27:04,162 --> 00:27:06,212
� It's Ted.
They're all Ted, I get it.
654
00:27:06,207 --> 00:27:07,877
You've made your point.
655
00:27:07,878 --> 00:27:10,088
� That one was
Harvey Weinstein.
656
00:27:10,090 --> 00:27:11,470
� [sighs]
657
00:27:11,468 --> 00:27:13,768
As Ainsley has apparently
told you,
658
00:27:13,765 --> 00:27:15,385
Ted is in London.
659
00:27:15,392 --> 00:27:17,192
And guess what.
I'm going to see him tomorrow.
660
00:27:17,188 --> 00:27:19,188
But guys, I'm not getting
back together with him, okay?
661
00:27:19,192 --> 00:27:21,572
I am just going so I can
end it forever
662
00:27:21,572 --> 00:27:22,622
and get some closure.
663
00:27:22,616 --> 00:27:23,826
BOTH:
Boo!
664
00:27:23,826 --> 00:27:24,996
CRAIG:
Closure isn't real.
665
00:27:24,995 --> 00:27:26,205
It was something women invented
666
00:27:26,206 --> 00:27:27,786
to pester the men
who dumped them.
667
00:27:27,792 --> 00:27:29,302
� I think Maya should give it
another try.
668
00:27:29,295 --> 00:27:31,045
She could be
in a committed relationship
669
00:27:31,049 --> 00:27:32,339
thousands of miles
away from here.
670
00:27:32,343 --> 00:27:33,603
Wouldn't that be nice?
671
00:27:33,596 --> 00:27:35,466
� Maya, you're an amazing
catch.
672
00:27:35,474 --> 00:27:36,484
You don't need him.
673
00:27:36,476 --> 00:27:37,936
� She knows that, Craig.
674
00:27:37,938 --> 00:27:39,478
She doesn't need her male
platonic friend
675
00:27:39,482 --> 00:27:40,742
telling her that.
676
00:27:40,735 --> 00:27:42,945
� Enough!
I am going to see Ted.
677
00:27:42,948 --> 00:27:44,328
I am an adult, okay?
678
00:27:44,325 --> 00:27:47,205
Please respect my decision.
679
00:27:47,206 --> 00:27:48,376
DUFFY:
Maya.
680
00:27:48,375 --> 00:27:51,165
CRAIG: Maya.
� Maya, come on.
681
00:27:51,172 --> 00:27:53,392
It was Ainsley's idea!
682
00:27:53,385 --> 00:27:55,055
I'm so sorry.
683
00:27:56,432 --> 00:27:57,892
� ♪ And the place is hot ♪
684
00:27:57,894 --> 00:28:00,274
� Nice.
You went to Disneyland Paris.
685
00:28:00,274 --> 00:28:02,654
� I didn't just go
to Disneyland Paris.
686
00:28:02,654 --> 00:28:06,164
I met Lumière, Le Cars,
Goofy was there as well.
687
00:28:06,160 --> 00:28:07,910
Can you believe that?
It was a sick day, you know.
688
00:28:07,914 --> 00:28:09,384
Ha!
689
00:28:09,375 --> 00:28:12,045
� Cool, uh, I should
probably head out.
690
00:28:12,047 --> 00:28:13,587
� You know, I didn't bring
you here
691
00:28:13,593 --> 00:28:15,813
to see all that, now did I?
692
00:28:15,805 --> 00:28:17,265
I brought you here to see this.
693
00:28:17,266 --> 00:28:18,976
So, my mum's cleaning out
my old bedroom.
694
00:28:18,978 --> 00:28:20,108
She's turning it
into a Zumba studio
695
00:28:20,105 --> 00:28:21,725
or some shit like that...
696
00:28:21,734 --> 00:28:23,034
she found this.
697
00:28:24,488 --> 00:28:26,788
Are you ready?
I hope you're ready, brother.
698
00:28:26,785 --> 00:28:28,995
� 'Ello, my boys.� 'Ello.
699
00:28:28,998 --> 00:28:30,498
BOY: You seema bit down and out, mate.
700
00:28:30,500 --> 00:28:31,670
YOUNG KASH:I suppose.
701
00:28:31,670 --> 00:28:33,050
What's the problem, then?
702
00:28:33,048 --> 00:28:34,588
� That, my friend,
is Oliver Twist
703
00:28:34,593 --> 00:28:36,763
at the Hounslow.
704
00:28:36,764 --> 00:28:39,144
� And I haven't eaten a thing.� Seven days?
705
00:28:39,143 --> 00:28:40,983
� What were we, like,
12 years old there
or something?
706
00:28:40,980 --> 00:28:42,400
� We were 10.
707
00:28:42,399 --> 00:28:44,739
� I'm Oliver.Oliver Twist.
708
00:28:44,738 --> 00:28:46,448
� You were amazing.
709
00:28:46,449 --> 00:28:47,829
I always thought you were
gonna be an actor, you know?
710
00:28:47,827 --> 00:28:49,407
� Nearly did.
711
00:28:49,413 --> 00:28:51,333
I did a lot of theater
at Cambridge,
712
00:28:51,334 --> 00:28:54,264
but after graduation,
I had to get a proper job.
713
00:28:54,256 --> 00:28:55,756
BASHEER: Yeah, I feel you.
714
00:28:55,760 --> 00:28:57,050
That's why I work at
a cell phone store,
715
00:28:57,054 --> 00:28:58,684
even though my passion
is DJing.
716
00:28:58,683 --> 00:29:00,273
Speaking of, are you happy
with your plan, man?
717
00:29:00,268 --> 00:29:02,978
Oh, not the time, huh?
718
00:29:02,982 --> 00:29:04,612
Not the time.
[applause]
719
00:29:04,611 --> 00:29:11,631
♪ ♪
720
00:29:50,536 --> 00:29:51,956
� [gasps]
721
00:29:51,955 --> 00:29:54,495
I cannot believe
you dressed up for him.
722
00:29:54,503 --> 00:29:56,513
� I didn't.
� You're wearing
a padded bra.
723
00:29:56,507 --> 00:29:57,837
� No, I'm not.
� Let me honk your boob.
724
00:29:57,842 --> 00:29:58,932
� Okay.
Okay, fine.
725
00:29:58,928 --> 00:30:00,468
Why is it so bad I look hot
726
00:30:00,472 --> 00:30:01,682
when I tell Ted to go to hell?
727
00:30:01,683 --> 00:30:03,483
� Because you're not
going to.
728
00:30:03,478 --> 00:30:04,938
You're just giving him
the opportunity
729
00:30:04,940 --> 00:30:06,650
to talk his way back
into your life.
730
00:30:06,652 --> 00:30:09,372
� Look, I know you don't
trust me,
731
00:30:09,365 --> 00:30:10,825
but I need to sort
this out with him
732
00:30:10,827 --> 00:30:12,037
before I go back to D. C.
733
00:30:12,037 --> 00:30:13,327
� Well, here's an idea.
734
00:30:13,331 --> 00:30:15,131
Don't go back to D. C.
735
00:30:15,126 --> 00:30:18,166
Stay here and try to figure out
your life without him.
736
00:30:18,174 --> 00:30:19,764
� Ainsley, come on.
That's crazy.
737
00:30:19,761 --> 00:30:21,181
� Is it?
738
00:30:21,180 --> 00:30:23,180
You love London,
all our friends are here,
739
00:30:23,184 --> 00:30:24,864
maybe you could meet
somebody new.
740
00:30:24,855 --> 00:30:26,685
There are still a couple
minor royals you can marry.
741
00:30:26,692 --> 00:30:28,952
� [laughs]
742
00:30:28,946 --> 00:30:30,276
[sighs]
743
00:30:31,702 --> 00:30:33,662
I'm sorry.
744
00:30:33,664 --> 00:30:36,674
[somber piano music]
745
00:30:36,670 --> 00:30:43,640
♪ ♪
746
00:30:49,571 --> 00:30:50,911
Oh, my God, Liz.
747
00:30:50,907 --> 00:30:55,077
� Yeah, my husband
couldn't make it.
748
00:30:55,081 --> 00:30:56,711
� What are you doing here?
749
00:30:56,710 --> 00:30:58,460
� Ted and I are
on a "let's save our marriage"
750
00:30:58,463 --> 00:31:01,183
European vacation,
which I thought was going well
751
00:31:01,177 --> 00:31:03,637
until I caught him texting
with you.
752
00:31:03,641 --> 00:31:05,811
� Hey, gal pals.
I'm Stephen.
753
00:31:05,811 --> 00:31:07,521
I'll be helping you ladies out.
754
00:31:07,523 --> 00:31:09,033
Have you had a chance
to take a peek at the menu?
755
00:31:09,026 --> 00:31:10,656
� Just a bottle of wine.
We don't care what kind.
756
00:31:10,655 --> 00:31:12,235
� Ooh, liquid lunch.
757
00:31:12,240 --> 00:31:15,330
Well, I'm sure it's wine
o'clock somewhere, right?
758
00:31:15,330 --> 00:31:18,340
� Listen, I am so sorry.
759
00:31:18,336 --> 00:31:20,126
You need to know
the only reason I came here was
760
00:31:20,131 --> 00:31:21,681
to end it for good.
761
00:31:21,677 --> 00:31:23,347
� You're not dressed like
you were here to end it.
762
00:31:23,346 --> 00:31:25,056
Nice padded bra, by the way.
763
00:31:25,058 --> 00:31:27,268
� I didn't mean to fall in love
with your husband.
764
00:31:27,270 --> 00:31:30,240
� No.
You're not the victim here.
765
00:31:30,235 --> 00:31:32,445
� Which of you gals would like
to taste the wine?
766
00:31:32,447 --> 00:31:34,117
� No, "gal,"
just get out of here.
767
00:31:35,579 --> 00:31:38,459
� Ted and I are making it work
until my youngest turns 18,
768
00:31:38,459 --> 00:31:40,549
and then I'm divorcing him,
taking all of his money,
769
00:31:40,548 --> 00:31:42,428
and doing a Grace and Frankie
with my friend.
770
00:31:42,426 --> 00:31:45,386
But until then,
I am staying in this marriage,
771
00:31:45,390 --> 00:31:50,190
and I will not have
my children embarrassed again.
772
00:31:50,191 --> 00:31:52,701
� Yes, of course,
I will call him and end it��
773
00:31:52,697 --> 00:31:55,077
� No, do not call him,
do not text,
774
00:31:55,076 --> 00:31:57,916
do not meet for coffee
to "get closure,"
775
00:31:57,915 --> 00:31:59,995
just disappear.
776
00:32:01,005 --> 00:32:03,085
� [sighs]
Okay.
777
00:32:03,092 --> 00:32:04,892
I'm really sorry.
778
00:32:07,935 --> 00:32:10,685
� Look, I know this is
more his fault than yours,
779
00:32:10,691 --> 00:32:13,451
so let me give you a piece
of advice.
780
00:32:13,446 --> 00:32:15,196
Don't fuck
another woman's husband.
781
00:32:18,164 --> 00:32:20,094
And don't build your life
around a man.
782
00:32:22,590 --> 00:32:25,600
[tense bright music]
783
00:32:25,596 --> 00:32:29,266
♪ ♪
784
00:32:29,269 --> 00:32:32,189
� Oh, my God.
785
00:32:32,192 --> 00:32:34,662
[exhales heavily]
786
00:32:40,709 --> 00:32:43,669
[tender music]
787
00:32:43,674 --> 00:32:45,684
♪ ♪
788
00:32:45,678 --> 00:32:47,058
[doorbell rings]
789
00:32:47,055 --> 00:32:51,815
♪ ♪
790
00:32:51,815 --> 00:32:53,395
� I know I should have
come sooner.
791
00:32:53,401 --> 00:32:54,991
� Before you give me
some bullshit apology,
792
00:32:54,988 --> 00:32:56,828
I should warn you,
one of my Texas relatives
793
00:32:56,825 --> 00:32:58,285
gave us a gun
as a wedding present.
794
00:32:58,286 --> 00:32:59,996
� I'm not here to apologize.
795
00:32:59,998 --> 00:33:03,128
I'm here to explain why,
and if the explanation sucks,
796
00:33:03,129 --> 00:33:05,049
you can shoot me.
797
00:33:05,049 --> 00:33:06,679
� Fine.
798
00:33:06,678 --> 00:33:08,518
� I called off the wedding,
because the person
799
00:33:08,515 --> 00:33:09,805
you were marrying was a lie.
800
00:33:09,809 --> 00:33:10,979
� Okay, I'm getting my gun.
801
00:33:10,978 --> 00:33:12,308
� Wait, wait, wait!
802
00:33:12,314 --> 00:33:15,204
Look, my whole life
I've been trying
803
00:33:15,195 --> 00:33:17,695
to be something I'm not.
804
00:33:17,700 --> 00:33:21,500
I was embarrassed of who I was
and where I was from.
805
00:33:21,498 --> 00:33:24,088
So I thought,
"Who else can I be?"
806
00:33:24,087 --> 00:33:26,217
And what I landed on was this.
807
00:33:26,217 --> 00:33:27,757
� An asshole.
808
00:33:27,762 --> 00:33:30,732
� Yeah, kind of.
809
00:33:30,726 --> 00:33:32,936
I went to university
and dropped all of my mates
810
00:33:32,939 --> 00:33:35,529
and pretended I had an interest
in municipal bonds
811
00:33:35,527 --> 00:33:38,657
and got engaged to a beautiful,
funny American girl,
812
00:33:38,659 --> 00:33:41,079
who I didn't believe
would have been interested
in the first guy.
813
00:33:42,332 --> 00:33:46,222
And the point is,
I'm a massive fraud.
814
00:33:46,215 --> 00:33:48,715
And I'm incredibly sorry
I didn't figure this out until
815
00:33:48,720 --> 00:33:50,810
the day of our wedding,
816
00:33:50,808 --> 00:33:53,648
but I hope you can see that
none of this was your fault.
817
00:33:53,647 --> 00:33:56,947
♪ ♪
818
00:33:56,945 --> 00:34:00,995
� You know,
I've been waiting all week
819
00:34:00,995 --> 00:34:02,955
to hear why you decided
to blow up
820
00:34:02,957 --> 00:34:05,917
our perfect relationship,
821
00:34:05,921 --> 00:34:08,891
but it wasn't perfect.
822
00:34:08,885 --> 00:34:12,095
I didn't really know you,
823
00:34:12,100 --> 00:34:15,770
and the disturbing thing is,
I didn't care.
824
00:34:17,277 --> 00:34:20,987
Because I liked that fake guy
you described,
825
00:34:20,993 --> 00:34:23,713
and I wanted to marry him.
826
00:34:23,707 --> 00:34:28,127
♪ ♪
827
00:34:28,132 --> 00:34:29,552
Before you go...
828
00:34:37,192 --> 00:34:38,992
This is yours.
829
00:34:38,987 --> 00:34:43,617
♪ ♪
830
00:34:43,622 --> 00:34:47,002
� Ains, I'm really sorry.
� You should be.
831
00:34:47,003 --> 00:34:50,393
♪ ♪
832
00:34:51,387 --> 00:34:54,227
[Fix You playing]
833
00:34:54,226 --> 00:34:56,016
� ♪ When you try your best ♪
834
00:34:56,021 --> 00:34:59,781
♪ But you don't succeed ♪
835
00:34:59,779 --> 00:35:02,579
♪ When you get what you want ♪
836
00:35:02,576 --> 00:35:07,206
♪ But not what you need ♪
837
00:35:07,210 --> 00:35:09,550
� I just spoke to Ainsley.
You were right.
838
00:35:09,549 --> 00:35:11,889
I owed her an explanation,
and to be honest��
839
00:35:11,886 --> 00:35:15,386
� Yeah, to Ainsley...not me.
840
00:35:15,393 --> 00:35:17,943
� ♪ Stuck in reverse ♪
841
00:35:17,940 --> 00:35:19,860
♪ ♪
842
00:35:19,861 --> 00:35:25,501
♪ Lights will guide you home ♪
843
00:35:25,496 --> 00:35:32,296
♪ And ignite your bones ♪
844
00:35:32,302 --> 00:35:37,022
♪ And I will try ♪
845
00:35:37,020 --> 00:35:40,030
♪ To fix you ♪
846
00:35:40,026 --> 00:35:41,396
♪ ♪
847
00:35:41,403 --> 00:35:43,453
� Hey, hey, I made nachos.
848
00:35:43,449 --> 00:35:45,909
Fully loaded, queso, 'penos.
You want some?
849
00:35:45,913 --> 00:35:48,463
� Yeah.
850
00:35:48,459 --> 00:35:50,089
[shatters]
851
00:35:50,087 --> 00:35:51,667
� Do you have a thing for Maya?
852
00:35:51,674 --> 00:35:53,724
� What?
No!
853
00:35:53,720 --> 00:35:56,810
� Then why did you buy her
a necklace with an M on it?
854
00:35:56,810 --> 00:35:59,570
� That...wasn't for her.
855
00:35:59,565 --> 00:36:01,395
How do you know about that?
856
00:36:01,401 --> 00:36:04,161
� I�I went through your stuff.
857
00:36:04,157 --> 00:36:06,197
I wanted to know
your clothing sizes
858
00:36:06,203 --> 00:36:08,003
for future birthdays.
859
00:36:07,998 --> 00:36:10,378
� Dude, your feelings for Maya
are making you crazy.
860
00:36:10,378 --> 00:36:11,918
� I'm not crazy!
861
00:36:11,923 --> 00:36:13,973
� You've been pining after her
for a decade.
862
00:36:13,969 --> 00:36:15,469
You gotta grow up.
863
00:36:17,225 --> 00:36:19,305
We both do.
864
00:36:19,312 --> 00:36:20,772
� You're right.
865
00:36:20,774 --> 00:36:23,404
What am I doing?
866
00:36:23,404 --> 00:36:25,704
I�I just have to let this go.
867
00:36:25,701 --> 00:36:29,121
� Yes.
That's my boy.
868
00:36:29,124 --> 00:36:30,964
� Then maybe Maya will find
her way back to me��
869
00:36:30,961 --> 00:36:32,171
� No!
Stop!
870
00:36:32,171 --> 00:36:34,681
� I'm kidding.
I'm kidding.
871
00:36:34,677 --> 00:36:37,677
Hey, Tabby, you got a minute?
872
00:36:37,683 --> 00:36:39,443
Hey, I just wanted to know
if your offer
873
00:36:39,436 --> 00:36:41,646
to see Angels in America
was still on the table.
874
00:36:41,649 --> 00:36:43,649
� Oh, they canceled it
after opening night.
875
00:36:43,653 --> 00:36:45,783
The administration decided
it wasn't appropriate
876
00:36:45,782 --> 00:36:47,662
for a 13�year�old
to play Roy Cohn.
877
00:36:47,661 --> 00:36:49,791
� Yeah, that makes sense.
878
00:36:49,790 --> 00:36:52,300
Well, would you still
like to get a drink
879
00:36:52,295 --> 00:36:54,125
with me sometime?
880
00:36:54,132 --> 00:36:57,812
� Oh, no, I've actually gotten
a really serious boyfriend
881
00:36:57,806 --> 00:36:59,476
since I saw you last.
882
00:36:59,476 --> 00:37:01,556
� Ah, no, I see.
I'm sorry.
883
00:37:01,564 --> 00:37:03,204
I'm so stupid.
I just... [speaking French]
884
00:37:09,779 --> 00:37:11,509
� [speaking French]
885
00:37:19,474 --> 00:37:20,514
� So it's a date?
886
00:37:22,105 --> 00:37:24,355
� [laughs]
Okay.
887
00:37:24,359 --> 00:37:27,369
[bright music]
888
00:37:27,365 --> 00:37:34,375
♪ ♪
889
00:37:48,240 --> 00:37:52,120
� Julia, this won't take long.
890
00:37:52,123 --> 00:37:54,213
Molly is my daughter too, okay?
891
00:37:54,210 --> 00:37:56,010
� I knew I shouldn't have come.
� No, hold up, hold up.
892
00:37:56,006 --> 00:37:58,796
Now, I know I wasn't supposed
to meet her, but I did.
893
00:37:58,803 --> 00:38:01,353
And honestly, I think I could
be a great dad.
894
00:38:01,349 --> 00:38:04,979
I tell boring stories,
I love golf,
895
00:38:04,982 --> 00:38:06,572
I use Rogaine.
896
00:38:06,569 --> 00:38:08,779
� But this isn't about you.
� Exactly.
897
00:38:08,782 --> 00:38:13,752
It is about Molly,
which is why...
898
00:38:14,960 --> 00:38:16,340
I signed these.
899
00:38:20,889 --> 00:38:24,609
� As a lawyer, I'm surprised.
900
00:38:24,605 --> 00:38:26,975
But as a mum, thank you.
901
00:38:26,984 --> 00:38:31,954
� Also, I, uh, I got her this.
902
00:38:31,953 --> 00:38:33,543
You don't have to give it
to her,
903
00:38:33,540 --> 00:38:37,300
but it doesn't look good on me.
904
00:38:37,296 --> 00:38:38,876
� Craig, you're a dead man.
905
00:38:38,883 --> 00:38:40,263
I knew you were cheating!
� Zara, Zara, calm down.
906
00:38:40,261 --> 00:38:42,101
I am not cheating on you.
� I knew it!
907
00:38:42,098 --> 00:38:45,688
� I should leave.
� Yeah, you better walk,
you home�wrecker.
908
00:38:45,689 --> 00:38:47,899
Is that what you want,
a classy woman
909
00:38:47,901 --> 00:38:50,111
with a fancy job
who probably never got fired
910
00:38:50,114 --> 00:38:52,204
from Topshop
for abusing her discount?
911
00:38:52,201 --> 00:38:54,041
� No, that's not what I want.
912
00:38:54,038 --> 00:38:56,418
� I can't believe you would do
this to me on my birthday.
913
00:38:56,418 --> 00:38:57,838
� It's not your birthday.
914
00:38:57,838 --> 00:38:59,418
� It is my birthday month!
915
00:38:59,424 --> 00:39:01,304
You should be ashamed
of yourself!
916
00:39:01,303 --> 00:39:03,313
� Zara, I am not having
an affair.
917
00:39:06,104 --> 00:39:07,484
I have a daughter.
918
00:39:07,481 --> 00:39:10,111
� She's your daughter?
919
00:39:10,112 --> 00:39:11,702
But she's so old.
920
00:39:18,128 --> 00:39:19,918
� Why didn't you tell me?
921
00:39:19,924 --> 00:39:22,054
� I didn't want to just drop
this whole thing on you.
922
00:39:22,053 --> 00:39:24,223
I wanted to have it
figured out first.
923
00:39:24,224 --> 00:39:26,354
� We're supposed to figure out
things together.
924
00:39:26,353 --> 00:39:29,363
We're a team, Craig.
We're Zara and Craig.
925
00:39:29,359 --> 00:39:31,529
Zraig, Craig. Zraig.
926
00:39:31,530 --> 00:39:33,580
� We are Zraig.
927
00:39:33,576 --> 00:39:35,616
I'm sorry I wasn't honest
with you.
928
00:39:35,622 --> 00:39:37,172
� And all this week
I was thinking
929
00:39:37,166 --> 00:39:38,666
you were cheating on me
with Maya.
930
00:39:38,670 --> 00:39:40,130
� No.
931
00:39:40,130 --> 00:39:41,970
� The way you two
were sneaking around...
932
00:39:41,968 --> 00:39:43,758
� No, I just wanted to get her
opinion on what I should do,
933
00:39:43,763 --> 00:39:45,603
and why does everyone think
I'm cheating with Maya?
934
00:39:45,600 --> 00:39:47,270
It feels racial.
935
00:39:47,270 --> 00:39:49,940
� Wait. So you told Maya
before you told me?
936
00:39:49,942 --> 00:39:52,572
� Zara, don't be upset.
937
00:39:52,572 --> 00:39:55,162
Don't you tell your girlfriends
everything before you tell me?
938
00:39:55,160 --> 00:39:57,080
� No.
No, I don't.
939
00:39:57,081 --> 00:39:59,421
I tell everything to you first
because I trust you the most.
940
00:39:59,419 --> 00:40:02,049
� I'm sorry.
I just didn't think
you'd understand.
941
00:40:02,049 --> 00:40:03,589
� Wouldn't understand?
942
00:40:03,594 --> 00:40:05,564
Craig, if I'm not someone
943
00:40:05,557 --> 00:40:07,387
you come to
when you've got a problem,
944
00:40:07,393 --> 00:40:08,813
what am I to you��
945
00:40:08,813 --> 00:40:11,193
just some fit bird
with fake tits
946
00:40:11,192 --> 00:40:12,992
and a tight ass
and perfect teeth
947
00:40:12,988 --> 00:40:14,658
who laughs at your five jokes?
948
00:40:14,658 --> 00:40:16,328
� You think it's only five?
949
00:40:17,831 --> 00:40:20,631
� We don't have
a real relationship, Craig.
950
00:40:25,012 --> 00:40:28,852
[busker playingNat King Cole's
Around the World]
951
00:40:28,853 --> 00:40:33,403
♪ ♪
952
00:40:33,403 --> 00:40:37,413
BUSKER:
♪ Around the world ♪
953
00:40:37,411 --> 00:40:39,631
♪ I've searched for you ♪
954
00:40:39,625 --> 00:40:42,835
MAYA: Dear Ted, your wifetold me not to contact you,
955
00:40:42,839 --> 00:40:45,139
but there are some thingsI need to say.
956
00:40:45,135 --> 00:40:47,845
BUSKER:
♪ To keep a rendezvous ♪
957
00:40:47,849 --> 00:40:50,899
MAYA: Five years ago,my friends moved to London,
958
00:40:50,897 --> 00:40:53,027
but I stayed behindto work for a handsome,
959
00:40:53,026 --> 00:40:55,026
idealistic congressman.
960
00:40:55,030 --> 00:40:57,910
I told myselfI stayed for my career,
961
00:40:57,911 --> 00:41:00,461
but the truth isI stayed for you.
962
00:41:00,457 --> 00:41:04,007
I wish I could blame you,but that was my choice,
963
00:41:04,006 --> 00:41:06,636
and I have to takeresponsibility for it.
964
00:41:06,637 --> 00:41:08,217
♪ ♪
965
00:41:08,223 --> 00:41:10,233
MAYA: One thingI will not do
966
00:41:10,227 --> 00:41:14,027
is waste any more time livingyour life instead of mine.
967
00:41:14,026 --> 00:41:15,656
Maya.
968
00:41:15,655 --> 00:41:18,025
BUSKER:
♪ Or gay Paris ♪
969
00:41:18,034 --> 00:41:22,044
♪ Or even London Town ♪
970
00:41:22,042 --> 00:41:25,632
♪ The moment I go ♪
971
00:41:25,633 --> 00:41:27,013
� Bye, Ted.
972
00:41:27,011 --> 00:41:29,891
BUSKER:
♪ Around the world ♪
973
00:41:29,892 --> 00:41:33,692
� Oi! Why are you throwing
rubbish in the river?
974
00:41:33,691 --> 00:41:35,281
� Oh, sorry.
975
00:41:35,277 --> 00:41:37,697
� Of course.
American.
976
00:41:37,699 --> 00:41:39,489
You know, just because
we don't have guns
977
00:41:39,494 --> 00:41:41,164
doesn't mean
we're not still cops.
978
00:41:41,164 --> 00:41:43,254
� Sorry.
979
00:41:43,251 --> 00:41:46,221
[Around the World playing]
980
00:41:46,216 --> 00:41:50,676
♪ ♪
981
00:41:50,683 --> 00:41:55,073
� ♪ Around the world ♪
982
00:41:55,067 --> 00:41:58,487
♪ I've searched for you ♪
983
00:41:58,490 --> 00:42:02,500
♪ I traveled on
when hope was gone ♪
984
00:42:02,498 --> 00:42:04,208
♪ To keep a rendezvous ♪
985
00:42:04,210 --> 00:42:07,930
� So I think you'll find
every thank�you note there,
986
00:42:07,926 --> 00:42:11,096
from Abramson
to Zuckerberg�Chan.
987
00:42:11,099 --> 00:42:13,269
� Oh. Gemma.
988
00:42:13,270 --> 00:42:16,740
Oh, my��this is��
this is truly amazing.
989
00:42:16,735 --> 00:42:19,115
Oh, my God, you're such
a good friend.
990
00:42:19,115 --> 00:42:21,325
Thank you.
991
00:42:21,327 --> 00:42:22,957
Do these smell like scotch?
992
00:42:22,956 --> 00:42:24,536
� No.
993
00:42:24,543 --> 00:42:26,133
No, it's probably just, um...
994
00:42:26,129 --> 00:42:27,589
[sniffs] The glue.
[door opens]
995
00:42:27,591 --> 00:42:29,091
� Hey.
AINSLEY: Hey!
996
00:42:29,093 --> 00:42:31,313
� So you know you had
that stupid idea
997
00:42:31,306 --> 00:42:33,476
that I should stay in London?
998
00:42:33,476 --> 00:42:35,306
I think...
999
00:42:35,314 --> 00:42:37,324
I think I'm gonna do it.
� Are you serious?
1000
00:42:37,318 --> 00:42:38,988
MAYA: Yeah, I know
I don't have a job,
1001
00:42:38,988 --> 00:42:40,578
and I brought, like,
three pairs of underwear,
1002
00:42:40,575 --> 00:42:42,535
but I was walking home tonight,
and I just��
1003
00:42:42,537 --> 00:42:43,907
I just had this feeling
1004
00:42:43,914 --> 00:42:45,594
that this is
where I'm supposed to be.
1005
00:42:45,585 --> 00:42:48,335
� It is! It is!
I've been feeling the same way!
1006
00:42:48,340 --> 00:42:49,970
� This is crazy.
I'm moving to London!
1007
00:42:49,968 --> 00:42:51,558
� Are you quite sure?
1008
00:42:51,555 --> 00:42:53,135
� We need champagne.
MAYA: Yes.
1009
00:42:53,141 --> 00:42:54,691
� We have to celebrate.
Oh, my God, come on.
1010
00:42:54,686 --> 00:42:56,356
GEMMA: You know,
London isn't what it once was.
1011
00:42:56,356 --> 00:42:58,356
[grunts]
Brexit.
1012
00:42:58,360 --> 00:43:01,120
The traffic at Wimbledon.
1013
00:43:01,115 --> 00:43:04,285
There's too many cobblestones.You'll sprain an ankle.
1014
00:43:04,288 --> 00:43:07,748
You have to ask for waterat restaurants.
1015
00:43:07,754 --> 00:43:10,804
People arereally into pub trivia!
1016
00:43:10,802 --> 00:43:13,222
You know where is a great placeto get a fresh start?
1017
00:43:13,223 --> 00:43:14,983
Brazil!
1018
00:43:14,976 --> 00:43:21,986
♪ ♪
1019
00:43:28,336 --> 00:43:32,336
� ♪ It might have been ♪
1020
00:43:32,344 --> 00:43:35,774
♪ In County Down ♪
1021
00:43:35,768 --> 00:43:39,018
♪ Or in New York,
in gay Paris ♪
1022
00:43:39,024 --> 00:43:43,374
♪ Or even London Town ♪
1023
00:43:43,366 --> 00:43:46,406
♪ No more will I ♪
1024
00:43:46,414 --> 00:43:50,424
♪ Go all around the world ♪
1025
00:43:50,422 --> 00:43:52,182
♪ For I have found ♪
1026
00:43:52,176 --> 00:43:54,006
♪ My world ♪
1027
00:43:54,013 --> 00:44:00,573
♪ In you ♪
1028
00:44:00,568 --> 00:44:02,398
♪ ♪
1029
00:44:02,404 --> 00:44:04,414
MAN: Go to bed.
76295
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