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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:03:11,812 --> 00:03:14,228 Alright. Quiet down, quiet down. 2 00:03:14,332 --> 00:03:19,509 Alright, so for the new guys, water polo-- 3 00:03:19,613 --> 00:03:21,442 What is it? 4 00:03:22,823 --> 00:03:25,135 Anybody? 5 00:03:25,239 --> 00:03:27,759 A sport? 6 00:03:27,862 --> 00:03:29,588 Can you be more specific? 7 00:03:29,692 --> 00:03:33,730 - Full contact. Whoo-whoo! - Okay! 8 00:03:33,834 --> 00:03:35,663 Anyone else? 9 00:03:35,767 --> 00:03:38,010 What else? 10 00:03:38,114 --> 00:03:41,773 I mean, it's in the water. 11 00:03:41,876 --> 00:03:44,431 D'oh! 12 00:03:46,122 --> 00:03:48,952 Come on, guys. Anyone else? 13 00:03:49,056 --> 00:03:50,954 What about you, in the middle? 14 00:03:51,058 --> 00:03:52,404 What? Me? 15 00:03:52,508 --> 00:03:54,199 - Yeah. - Uh, yeah. 16 00:03:54,303 --> 00:03:56,512 Yeah. No. Um... 17 00:03:56,615 --> 00:03:59,791 It's just about working together, 18 00:03:59,894 --> 00:04:02,172 uh, like, 19 00:04:02,276 --> 00:04:05,072 as one big family or whatever. 20 00:04:05,175 --> 00:04:06,970 D'oh! 21 00:04:09,835 --> 00:04:11,665 What else? 22 00:04:11,768 --> 00:04:14,081 Uh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. No. Um... 23 00:04:14,184 --> 00:04:16,704 - Communication. - Don't hog the ball. 24 00:04:16,808 --> 00:04:19,811 O...kay. 25 00:04:19,914 --> 00:04:22,089 We have communication. 26 00:04:22,192 --> 00:04:23,884 We have... - Ball handling. 27 00:04:32,755 --> 00:04:35,723 Very good, very good, very good. 28 00:04:35,827 --> 00:04:40,521 Oh, so very smart. Very good, very good. 29 00:04:40,625 --> 00:04:43,317 Ha-ha-ha. Very good. 30 00:05:33,885 --> 00:05:35,404 Uh, you know, 31 00:05:35,507 --> 00:05:38,648 you're only supposed to be in here for 15 minutes. 32 00:05:42,618 --> 00:05:46,760 Um, only 15 minutes. 33 00:05:55,734 --> 00:05:58,392 First day of camp. Still breathing. 34 00:05:58,496 --> 00:06:01,568 Pretty good, huh? Yeah. - No. Yeah, yeah. 35 00:06:01,671 --> 00:06:03,155 Good. 36 00:06:03,259 --> 00:06:06,607 So I spoke to your mom earlier. 37 00:06:06,711 --> 00:06:09,541 No cause for concern. She's a nice lady. 38 00:06:09,645 --> 00:06:11,025 Just having a chat. 39 00:06:11,129 --> 00:06:13,718 She said you guys had just moved from Boston. 40 00:06:13,821 --> 00:06:17,031 - Yeah. - Yeah, that's a big move. 41 00:06:17,135 --> 00:06:20,310 Should be exciting. Scary? 42 00:06:20,414 --> 00:06:25,108 You know, I remember, uh, moved to San Diego when I was 10, 43 00:06:25,212 --> 00:06:28,733 and that was like stepping onto another planet, you know? 44 00:06:28,836 --> 00:06:31,736 Anyway, I just wanted you to know I'm your coach, 45 00:06:31,839 --> 00:06:35,015 but I'm also here if you wanted to, you know, talk. 46 00:06:35,118 --> 00:06:38,501 I know this whole thing could be a little daunting, you know? 47 00:06:38,605 --> 00:06:40,020 Okay? - Thank you. 48 00:06:40,123 --> 00:06:41,573 Go. 49 00:06:41,677 --> 00:06:43,575 Alright, now we got to fill in this stupid form. 50 00:06:43,679 --> 00:06:46,820 Uh, "My goals by the end of the summer 51 00:06:46,923 --> 00:06:49,961 are to blank, blank, and blank." 52 00:06:55,967 --> 00:06:58,107 Holy shit. 53 00:06:58,210 --> 00:07:00,005 Obviously fucking Everest. 54 00:07:00,109 --> 00:07:02,939 - ...parachute. - If you try to fly off that, 55 00:07:03,043 --> 00:07:04,665 you're fucking dead. 56 00:07:11,914 --> 00:07:13,640 Yeah, medicine tastes good. 57 00:07:13,743 --> 00:07:16,539 Any cherry and grape kind of both taste like medicine. 58 00:07:16,643 --> 00:07:19,128 ...Jumping off fucking Everest, dude. 59 00:07:19,231 --> 00:07:20,854 That's what I'm fucking saying. 60 00:07:20,957 --> 00:07:22,545 This is the dumbest fucking argument 61 00:07:22,649 --> 00:07:24,478 I've ever heard in my entire fucking life. 62 00:07:24,582 --> 00:07:26,756 ...Yeah. Why did you even make that? 63 00:07:34,212 --> 00:07:36,041 Excuse me. Sorry. 64 00:07:36,145 --> 00:07:37,422 Sorry. 65 00:07:37,526 --> 00:07:39,010 Are you on something? 66 00:07:39,113 --> 00:07:43,117 You know any other flavor is better than grape. 67 00:07:43,221 --> 00:07:45,775 Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. 68 00:07:45,879 --> 00:07:47,397 Hold on. 69 00:07:47,501 --> 00:07:48,847 Everybody likes grape. 70 00:07:48,951 --> 00:07:51,125 You tell me one person who doesn't like it. 71 00:07:51,229 --> 00:07:52,610 I've got one. 72 00:07:52,713 --> 00:07:55,544 Would you rather your food always be hot 73 00:07:55,647 --> 00:07:57,338 and you never get used to it, 74 00:07:57,442 --> 00:08:00,721 it's always hot, or have no knees? 75 00:08:00,825 --> 00:08:02,827 - Food has no knees. - No knees? 76 00:08:02,930 --> 00:08:04,656 Your knees, they're gone. You don't have knees. 77 00:08:04,760 --> 00:08:06,727 - No knees? - Uh, wait. 78 00:08:06,831 --> 00:08:09,834 - I'd have no knees. - So hot like spicy? 79 00:08:09,937 --> 00:08:11,767 - Food already has no knees. - No, no. Listen. 80 00:08:11,870 --> 00:08:13,354 - I didn't even-- - Okay, so would you rather-- 81 00:08:13,458 --> 00:08:15,425 Would you would you guys rather A, 82 00:08:15,529 --> 00:08:17,151 every time you have an orgasm, 83 00:08:17,255 --> 00:08:19,188 the song "All Star" by Smash Mouth plays, 84 00:08:19,291 --> 00:08:23,157 or B, every time the song "All Star" by Smash Mouth plays, 85 00:08:23,261 --> 00:08:25,781 you guys have an orgasm. 86 00:08:25,884 --> 00:08:27,403 - Yo, fuck Smash Mouth. 87 00:08:27,507 --> 00:08:29,198 How does it play in the A situation? 88 00:08:29,301 --> 00:08:32,097 On like a small but, like, decently powerful boom box 89 00:08:32,201 --> 00:08:34,686 that just magically appears when you orgasm. 90 00:08:34,790 --> 00:08:36,377 - Still B. 91 00:08:36,481 --> 00:08:38,172 - Fuck Smash Mouth. 92 00:08:38,276 --> 00:08:40,589 So wait, does the entire song play or can you make it stop? 93 00:08:40,692 --> 00:08:42,452 The entire song. 94 00:08:42,556 --> 00:08:45,214 - Still B. - Still A. 95 00:08:45,317 --> 00:08:47,837 What'd you just say? 96 00:08:47,941 --> 00:08:50,840 - What? - You said can you make it "sop"? 97 00:08:56,018 --> 00:08:58,261 No. 98 00:08:58,365 --> 00:09:00,022 What'd you just say, then? 99 00:09:01,023 --> 00:09:02,818 - Nothing. - He said can you make it stop. 100 00:09:02,921 --> 00:09:04,164 - No, he didn't. - Yes, he did. 101 00:09:04,267 --> 00:09:05,475 He didn't. 102 00:09:05,579 --> 00:09:07,029 What? 103 00:09:07,132 --> 00:09:09,928 Say stop. 104 00:09:10,032 --> 00:09:13,173 What? No. Why? 105 00:09:13,276 --> 00:09:14,761 You can't say it. 106 00:09:14,864 --> 00:09:16,072 Yo, who can't say stop? 107 00:09:16,176 --> 00:09:17,729 Yes, I-I can. 108 00:09:17,833 --> 00:09:20,180 Okay, then say it. 109 00:09:25,772 --> 00:09:27,325 Um, wait, wait, so, guys, would you rather-- 110 00:09:27,428 --> 00:09:29,776 - Say it. - Um... 111 00:09:29,879 --> 00:09:31,398 - Say it. - Okay, would you rather-- 112 00:09:31,501 --> 00:09:34,332 Bro, he can't say it 113 00:09:34,435 --> 00:09:37,473 See how he doesn't want to say it? 114 00:09:37,577 --> 00:09:39,579 Then say it. 115 00:09:39,682 --> 00:09:42,409 Say it! Say it! - Okay, okay, okay, 116 00:09:42,512 --> 00:09:44,066 Sop, sop, sop, sop. 117 00:09:44,169 --> 00:09:45,481 - "Sop"?! - "Sop"! 118 00:09:48,208 --> 00:09:49,554 "Stop." 119 00:09:54,559 --> 00:09:55,940 Stop. Stop! Stop! 120 00:09:56,043 --> 00:09:57,631 Do you guys think these carrots taste weird? 121 00:09:58,736 --> 00:10:00,358 Oh, shit! 122 00:10:00,461 --> 00:10:03,085 The Plague! The Plague! 123 00:10:03,188 --> 00:10:05,087 Whoa! 124 00:10:05,190 --> 00:10:07,537 Frankly, they have kind of a gasoline-like aftertaste. 125 00:10:07,641 --> 00:10:09,367 But not in a bad way, per se. 126 00:10:12,439 --> 00:10:15,062 Certainly pungent. - Go, go, go. 127 00:10:15,166 --> 00:10:16,754 Um... 128 00:10:19,377 --> 00:10:22,276 They taste normal to me. 129 00:10:25,038 --> 00:10:27,696 - No parachute on the helicopter. - Yo, soppy. 130 00:10:27,799 --> 00:10:29,111 Can you say pasta? 131 00:10:29,214 --> 00:10:30,215 - Pasta. - Pasta. 132 00:10:39,086 --> 00:10:41,433 - I told you. - Huh? Yeah, that's-- 133 00:10:41,537 --> 00:10:43,712 Exactly. Can only choose one. 134 00:10:43,815 --> 00:10:47,508 Would you rather suck a dick but you can have sex, 135 00:10:47,612 --> 00:10:50,511 but-- or-- or you don't do that, 136 00:10:50,615 --> 00:10:52,928 but you can never have sex again. 137 00:10:53,031 --> 00:10:56,414 - No, never have sex again? - What's up? 138 00:10:56,517 --> 00:10:58,209 Damn. What's good? 139 00:10:58,312 --> 00:11:01,074 Uh, I just-- I heard you're a vet. 140 00:11:03,421 --> 00:11:05,388 - What is a vet? - Uh, like-- 141 00:11:05,492 --> 00:11:07,805 Like you were here last session. 142 00:11:07,908 --> 00:11:09,392 Oh, yeah, I was. 143 00:11:09,496 --> 00:11:11,947 I was supposed to just stay for first session, 144 00:11:12,050 --> 00:11:14,018 but my dad fucked up and paid for both, 145 00:11:14,121 --> 00:11:16,676 and he couldn't get a refund, so I had to stay. 146 00:11:16,779 --> 00:11:18,125 He was so pissed when he realized. 147 00:11:18,229 --> 00:11:19,748 You should have seen his face. Holy shit. 148 00:11:19,851 --> 00:11:22,474 Uh, who are the others? 149 00:11:22,578 --> 00:11:25,719 - Vets? Me, Logan... - What's up? 150 00:11:25,823 --> 00:11:28,239 ...Matt. You can go. 151 00:11:28,342 --> 00:11:32,346 - What? - Ticky and Eli. 152 00:11:32,450 --> 00:11:34,486 Eli's a vet? 153 00:11:34,590 --> 00:11:36,488 Sadly. 154 00:11:36,592 --> 00:11:39,181 I don't know, I just... 155 00:11:39,284 --> 00:11:44,220 thought you're supposed to, like, improve or something. 156 00:11:44,324 --> 00:11:45,877 Only if you try. 157 00:11:45,981 --> 00:11:48,328 - Yo, Julian. - What? 158 00:11:52,712 --> 00:11:58,614 Uh, so what's with the whole, like, musical chairs-y thing? 159 00:11:58,718 --> 00:12:00,133 What? 160 00:12:00,236 --> 00:12:04,793 - Uh, like at lunch with... - Oh, the Plague? 161 00:12:04,896 --> 00:12:06,726 Eli's got the Plague. 162 00:12:10,971 --> 00:12:13,180 It's not funny, bro. You ever heard of leprosy? 163 00:12:16,459 --> 00:12:18,599 Eli's a leper? 164 00:12:18,703 --> 00:12:21,085 Lepers aren't real, but similar. 165 00:12:21,188 --> 00:12:22,672 There's no official prognosis, 166 00:12:22,776 --> 00:12:26,849 so we call it the Plague. 167 00:12:26,953 --> 00:12:28,920 Like, those aren't regular pimples. 168 00:12:29,024 --> 00:12:33,476 Those are Plague pimples. That's a Plague face. 169 00:12:33,580 --> 00:12:34,788 Like, I'm telling you, bro, 170 00:12:34,892 --> 00:12:36,617 he didn't have pimples a few weeks ago. 171 00:12:36,721 --> 00:12:40,311 That's some Plague shit right there. 172 00:12:40,414 --> 00:12:42,175 A few days later, 173 00:12:42,278 --> 00:12:44,349 he gets a freaky ass rash all over his body. 174 00:12:44,453 --> 00:12:47,525 Like, why do you think he wears that shirt all the time? 175 00:12:47,628 --> 00:12:49,665 You think that's a fashion statement? 176 00:12:49,769 --> 00:12:51,322 Nah, bro, 177 00:12:51,425 --> 00:12:54,394 that's some Plague shit. 178 00:12:54,497 --> 00:12:57,328 Next thing, it infects the nervous system, 179 00:12:57,431 --> 00:13:00,262 breaks down motor skills. 180 00:13:00,365 --> 00:13:04,300 You bump into some things, trip over yourself. 181 00:13:04,404 --> 00:13:06,199 You start dropping shit. 182 00:13:06,302 --> 00:13:09,305 Normal things like eye contact 183 00:13:09,409 --> 00:13:14,863 or the ability to hold a regular conversation 184 00:13:14,966 --> 00:13:17,003 just goes out the window. 185 00:13:19,246 --> 00:13:21,283 Turns your brain to baby food. 186 00:13:22,525 --> 00:13:24,113 No brain, no nothing. 187 00:13:24,217 --> 00:13:27,737 So, I mean, shouldn't he-- 188 00:13:27,841 --> 00:13:30,533 shouldn't he, like, see a doctor? 189 00:13:30,637 --> 00:13:34,330 I mean, he has. It's like herpes. 190 00:13:34,434 --> 00:13:35,607 No cure for him. 191 00:13:40,681 --> 00:13:45,341 So it's-- it's like contagious? 192 00:13:45,445 --> 00:13:48,034 Incredibly, but only through touch. 193 00:13:48,137 --> 00:13:52,590 So if you're exposed... 194 00:13:52,693 --> 00:13:56,283 Oh, man, you just gotta wash yourself like stat. 195 00:14:56,136 --> 00:14:58,932 What? Too cold for you, Soppy? 196 00:14:59,036 --> 00:15:05,594 - Uh, no. It's good. - "No, it's, um, good." 197 00:15:05,697 --> 00:15:08,631 Soppy, you get no bitches. 198 00:15:08,735 --> 00:15:12,877 Soppy, where are you from? 199 00:15:12,981 --> 00:15:15,086 - Um, "Boson." - Huh? 200 00:15:15,190 --> 00:15:17,261 - "Boson." - "Boson"? 201 00:15:17,364 --> 00:15:19,919 Like, what did he just say? 202 00:15:20,022 --> 00:15:21,196 "Boson"? Boston. 203 00:15:21,299 --> 00:15:23,543 - You "boson" around? - "Boson." 204 00:15:23,646 --> 00:15:25,441 He can't pronounce the T. 205 00:15:39,145 --> 00:15:41,492 Yo, yo, that's where Eli was sitting. 206 00:15:41,595 --> 00:15:43,321 Like, he's infected. 207 00:15:46,635 --> 00:15:48,602 He's contagious! 208 00:15:51,951 --> 00:15:53,918 Jake's got the Plague! 209 00:15:54,022 --> 00:15:57,749 Jake's got the Plague! Jake's got the Plague! 210 00:15:57,853 --> 00:15:59,751 Jake's got the Plague! 211 00:15:59,855 --> 00:16:03,790 Jake, Jake, Jake, Plague! 212 00:16:03,893 --> 00:16:05,895 Jake has the Plague! 213 00:16:05,999 --> 00:16:07,621 Am I good? 214 00:16:09,140 --> 00:16:12,488 Chelsea Simone. 215 00:16:12,592 --> 00:16:14,904 Kate Fulton. 216 00:16:15,008 --> 00:16:16,147 Shelly Wong. 217 00:16:16,251 --> 00:16:18,287 Smelly Shelly? 218 00:16:18,391 --> 00:16:20,634 Bro, I swear you're all about the Asians. 219 00:16:20,738 --> 00:16:22,947 Dude, shut up! 220 00:16:23,051 --> 00:16:25,708 See, I'm all about the half-Asians. 221 00:16:25,812 --> 00:16:27,020 Which half? 222 00:16:27,124 --> 00:16:29,678 - I don't know, the left half? - What? 223 00:16:29,781 --> 00:16:31,231 Where that Lubriderm at? 224 00:16:31,335 --> 00:16:33,337 I gave it to Ticky. 225 00:16:33,440 --> 00:16:36,098 Why are you such a lube hog? 226 00:16:36,202 --> 00:16:40,240 Soppy, what are you thinking about right now? 227 00:16:40,344 --> 00:16:42,898 Come on, spit it out. 228 00:16:43,002 --> 00:16:44,486 Um, 229 00:16:44,589 --> 00:16:48,559 I'm just thinking about this girl I saw earlier. 230 00:16:48,662 --> 00:16:50,147 - Okay. - What girl? 231 00:16:50,250 --> 00:16:52,977 - Puss-ay. - She live in Canada? 232 00:16:53,081 --> 00:16:54,910 Bukkake. 233 00:16:55,014 --> 00:16:57,671 Yo, someone get this man some lube. 234 00:17:01,227 --> 00:17:03,988 Yo, tell me about her. 235 00:17:04,092 --> 00:17:06,163 We all want to hear it. 236 00:17:11,823 --> 00:17:13,549 Soppy. 237 00:17:16,966 --> 00:17:18,623 Um, 238 00:17:18,727 --> 00:17:21,143 I'm picturing her 239 00:17:21,247 --> 00:17:23,525 standing in the shower, 240 00:17:23,628 --> 00:17:25,044 washing herself. 241 00:17:25,147 --> 00:17:26,942 Okay. 242 00:17:29,082 --> 00:17:32,258 Suddenly she... 243 00:17:32,361 --> 00:17:36,331 Starts, like, rubbing herself 244 00:17:36,434 --> 00:17:38,574 and... 245 00:17:38,678 --> 00:17:43,648 she tells me how, like... 246 00:17:43,752 --> 00:17:45,650 wet she is. 247 00:17:45,754 --> 00:17:49,413 Ooh, damn, Soppy. That's some hardcore shit. 248 00:17:49,516 --> 00:17:53,865 I'm close. 249 00:17:53,969 --> 00:17:55,764 Don't stop. 250 00:17:57,800 --> 00:17:59,457 And, um... 251 00:17:59,561 --> 00:18:01,632 I just came. 252 00:18:03,185 --> 00:18:06,361 I'm not gonna lie, so did I. 253 00:18:08,190 --> 00:18:10,158 Uh, sorry. 254 00:18:10,261 --> 00:18:12,298 I did too. So. 255 00:18:12,401 --> 00:18:13,299 Same. 256 00:19:55,435 --> 00:19:57,196 I don't think I'll ever get married. 257 00:19:57,299 --> 00:19:58,611 - What? - Maybe when I'm like 50. 258 00:19:58,714 --> 00:20:01,130 Millions of pirates swarming the sea. 259 00:20:01,234 --> 00:20:02,960 Your dad's like 60 right now? 260 00:20:03,063 --> 00:20:04,582 What are you talking about? 261 00:20:04,686 --> 00:20:07,344 What if pirates don't drink champagne, though? 262 00:20:07,447 --> 00:20:13,177 What if they just say "Oh, oh, oh, oh"? 263 00:20:13,281 --> 00:20:14,489 What are you doing? 264 00:20:14,592 --> 00:20:16,042 What do you mean, what am I doing? 265 00:20:16,145 --> 00:20:17,492 That's the pirate call, stupid. 266 00:20:17,595 --> 00:20:19,045 That's not a pirate call. 267 00:20:19,148 --> 00:20:20,736 It is a pirate call. So tell me-- 268 00:20:20,840 --> 00:20:22,531 Tell me what that is then. - That's like a Viking call, bro. 269 00:20:22,635 --> 00:20:24,395 - What is a Viking? - Well, it's like a-- 270 00:20:24,499 --> 00:20:26,432 - It's like a-- - Like a old village-- 271 00:20:26,535 --> 00:20:29,228 - Yeah. - A pirate's "Arr, matey." 272 00:21:06,782 --> 00:21:11,028 Oh, my God. Holy shit, dude. 273 00:21:11,131 --> 00:21:12,616 Fuck! Are you okay? 274 00:21:15,791 --> 00:21:18,760 Had a boo boo. Now it's better. 275 00:21:20,037 --> 00:21:22,764 Oh, my God, dude. 276 00:21:22,867 --> 00:21:25,076 How did you-- 277 00:21:25,180 --> 00:21:27,493 How did you do that? 278 00:21:27,596 --> 00:21:30,358 Thou shalt never know, mortal. 279 00:22:06,670 --> 00:22:09,258 Wait. Go, go, go, go. 280 00:23:35,517 --> 00:23:38,209 The only thing you do good is to use it. 281 00:23:40,902 --> 00:23:43,560 Light that up. 282 00:23:46,217 --> 00:23:48,841 It's squirting, it's squirting. 283 00:24:19,630 --> 00:24:22,322 Whoo! Yeah! 284 00:24:28,881 --> 00:24:31,366 The only thing you do good is to use it. 285 00:24:31,470 --> 00:24:32,678 What the fuck? 286 00:24:32,781 --> 00:24:34,576 Yo, where's the music at, Matt? 287 00:24:34,680 --> 00:24:37,234 Why are you so terrible at everything? 288 00:24:41,100 --> 00:24:42,860 Come on. 289 00:25:00,119 --> 00:25:01,396 Gracias. Here we go. 290 00:26:36,180 --> 00:26:37,596 Holy shit! 291 00:26:37,699 --> 00:26:39,805 What the fuck? 292 00:26:39,908 --> 00:26:41,979 Dude, wash that shit. 293 00:26:42,083 --> 00:26:43,981 You gotta wash. 294 00:26:53,128 --> 00:26:55,544 - Scrub that fucking arm. - Scrub it. 295 00:27:01,102 --> 00:27:04,381 And he's scrubbing some more, and he's scrubbing some more. 296 00:27:08,627 --> 00:27:11,699 Yo, Soppy, you crazy. 297 00:27:13,528 --> 00:27:15,806 That was crazy. That was great. 298 00:27:30,614 --> 00:27:33,134 I'm telling you, it's all about the below-water game. 299 00:27:33,237 --> 00:27:36,620 That separates the pros from the amateurs. 300 00:27:39,658 --> 00:27:41,383 I heard in the Olympics 301 00:27:41,487 --> 00:27:43,523 that they, like, shave their pubes 302 00:27:43,627 --> 00:27:45,215 so people can't pull them off underwater. 303 00:27:45,318 --> 00:27:46,665 Yep. 304 00:27:46,768 --> 00:27:48,943 - That's savage. - Yeah. 305 00:27:49,046 --> 00:27:51,462 My brother says you have to have long fingernails. 306 00:27:51,566 --> 00:27:53,154 You can scratch guys. 307 00:27:53,257 --> 00:27:57,606 So the secret is keep them smooth, but kind of long. 308 00:27:57,710 --> 00:27:59,194 After they've been approved, 309 00:27:59,298 --> 00:28:02,266 just bite them into little points. 310 00:28:02,370 --> 00:28:05,097 Is your brother like a pro? 311 00:28:05,200 --> 00:28:07,927 I mean, he's only 18, but Princeton and Brown 312 00:28:08,031 --> 00:28:10,689 are basically in a death match over him, so. 313 00:28:54,698 --> 00:28:56,217 Damn. 314 00:28:56,320 --> 00:28:58,081 Soppy got game. 315 00:28:58,184 --> 00:28:59,841 Right, Sop? 316 00:29:09,126 --> 00:29:12,681 This guy Charlie, last session, 317 00:29:12,785 --> 00:29:15,132 he's the one who gave it to Eli. 318 00:29:15,236 --> 00:29:16,444 Got to the point where he couldn't even 319 00:29:16,547 --> 00:29:18,411 hold a coherent conversation. 320 00:29:18,515 --> 00:29:21,690 He had to go home early. 321 00:29:21,794 --> 00:29:24,521 Is he okay now? 322 00:29:24,624 --> 00:29:28,663 Last I heard, he was in some mental institution. 323 00:29:28,767 --> 00:29:30,699 He spends his days playing Jenga. 324 00:32:00,194 --> 00:32:02,851 Don't forget to mark your calendars. 325 00:32:02,955 --> 00:32:08,340 The highly anticipated summer soiree dance for all camps 326 00:32:08,443 --> 00:32:11,308 is coming up in the main gymnasium. 327 00:32:11,412 --> 00:32:14,449 This year's theme is Under the Sea. 328 00:32:14,553 --> 00:32:17,832 We'll have a live deejay, games... 329 00:32:32,088 --> 00:32:34,538 Cheetos. 330 00:32:34,642 --> 00:32:37,541 No, Doritos. 331 00:32:37,645 --> 00:32:40,993 No, Cheetos. 332 00:32:41,097 --> 00:32:44,169 - I wouldn't be an evil Sith. - But Sith are evil. 333 00:32:44,272 --> 00:32:45,894 No, they just have less-- 334 00:32:45,998 --> 00:32:48,104 No, no, no, no, no, they're evil. 335 00:32:48,207 --> 00:32:50,140 - No. I could-- - They're just straight-up evil. 336 00:32:50,244 --> 00:32:53,005 I could turn the majority of Siths into good people. 337 00:32:53,109 --> 00:32:54,558 - No, you can't. - Yeah, I would. 338 00:32:54,662 --> 00:32:56,353 - They'd probably just kill you. - No, I would-- 339 00:32:56,457 --> 00:32:58,148 - Or Darth Vader would kill you. - I would infiltrate them, 340 00:32:58,252 --> 00:33:00,461 and I would make sure that they all became good. 341 00:33:00,564 --> 00:33:02,014 One, two, three... 342 00:34:20,023 --> 00:34:21,852 It's Eli. 343 00:34:21,956 --> 00:34:24,441 He's hard, bro. 344 00:34:24,545 --> 00:34:28,204 Holy shit, yo! Holy shit! He's hard. 345 00:34:28,307 --> 00:34:31,448 He's got a boner. - He's fucking hard. 346 00:34:40,181 --> 00:34:42,528 Yeah! Yeah! 347 00:34:42,632 --> 00:34:44,254 Fucking boner. 348 00:34:58,096 --> 00:35:00,098 - Yo, Eli's hard. - Hey. 349 00:35:02,617 --> 00:35:03,894 In the pool, now. 350 00:35:03,998 --> 00:35:06,000 Come on. - Yo! 351 00:35:06,104 --> 00:35:13,041 Eli's hard, Eli's hard, Eli's hard. 352 00:35:13,145 --> 00:35:15,354 How old are you guys? 353 00:35:17,874 --> 00:35:20,187 It's a question. 354 00:35:20,290 --> 00:35:22,050 How old? - 13. 355 00:35:22,154 --> 00:35:23,880 - 12. - 13. 356 00:35:23,983 --> 00:35:26,710 - 12. - 12. 357 00:35:26,814 --> 00:35:31,025 13 and 12. 358 00:35:31,129 --> 00:35:32,992 Old enough. 359 00:35:33,096 --> 00:35:35,340 Well, old enough. 360 00:35:35,443 --> 00:35:39,827 Your actions are not neutral. 361 00:35:41,415 --> 00:35:44,383 I mean, did any of you, even once stop and think, 362 00:35:44,487 --> 00:35:47,179 "How would I feel if that were me?" 363 00:35:47,283 --> 00:35:49,802 And you were called out in front of the girls 364 00:35:49,906 --> 00:35:52,391 and pointed at and laughed at for something 365 00:35:52,495 --> 00:35:55,774 that I swear to God, you got no control over. 366 00:35:56,257 --> 00:35:59,502 Logan. 367 00:35:59,605 --> 00:36:01,883 - I guess I'd feel bad. - D'oh! 368 00:36:01,987 --> 00:36:04,541 You guess you would feel bad. 369 00:36:04,645 --> 00:36:06,923 Says the guy that lit the match. 370 00:36:07,026 --> 00:36:08,994 I was just joking. 371 00:36:09,097 --> 00:36:11,514 So you think it's funny? 372 00:36:11,617 --> 00:36:12,653 No. 373 00:36:15,449 --> 00:36:17,278 Jake, what about you? 374 00:36:17,382 --> 00:36:19,177 Do you think it was funny? - I mean... 375 00:36:19,280 --> 00:36:21,558 - Was it? - Kind of, yeah. 376 00:36:21,662 --> 00:36:24,596 "Kind of, yeah." 377 00:36:24,699 --> 00:36:27,323 Why? Explain to us. Why do you think it was funny? 378 00:36:27,426 --> 00:36:29,842 Well, for one, his dick was hard. 379 00:36:33,225 --> 00:36:35,193 Let me ask you this. 380 00:36:35,296 --> 00:36:39,024 Have you ever been shamed in front of a group? 381 00:36:39,127 --> 00:36:41,164 Like, deeply, deeply shamed? - Mnh-mnh. 382 00:36:41,268 --> 00:36:43,925 That's exactly what you're doing right now. 383 00:36:47,239 --> 00:36:49,172 Listen to me. 384 00:36:49,276 --> 00:36:52,106 So you're what, 13? 385 00:36:52,210 --> 00:36:53,590 - 12. Yeah. - 12. 386 00:36:53,694 --> 00:36:56,593 And you're laughing at the stupidest, 387 00:36:56,697 --> 00:36:59,803 most juvenile 5-year-old "Beavis and Butthead" kind of-- 388 00:36:59,907 --> 00:37:01,736 5-year-olds watch "Beavis and Butthead"? 389 00:37:01,840 --> 00:37:05,050 Hey! You have two seconds to wipe that smile off your face. 390 00:37:05,153 --> 00:37:07,259 Or all of you, because of Jake, 391 00:37:07,363 --> 00:37:11,194 are going to be doing burpees in the sun all day. 392 00:37:11,298 --> 00:37:13,748 I'm not even joking. One... 393 00:37:20,997 --> 00:37:22,170 Okay. 394 00:37:22,274 --> 00:37:24,932 Penis. 395 00:37:26,278 --> 00:37:28,763 Pick it up or we do it all day. 396 00:37:28,867 --> 00:37:30,731 Pick it up. 397 00:37:31,835 --> 00:37:33,803 Three laps. Two to go. 398 00:37:37,600 --> 00:37:39,360 What is he doing, bro? 399 00:37:41,500 --> 00:37:44,848 Some kind of, like, I don't know, fantasy maybe? 400 00:37:58,655 --> 00:38:00,519 Can you, like, "sop" doing that? 401 00:38:00,623 --> 00:38:03,764 "Can you, like, 'sop' doing that?" 402 00:38:03,867 --> 00:38:05,835 Suck my dick, Soppy. 403 00:38:05,938 --> 00:38:08,631 - Suck your own dick. - That's not even possible. 404 00:38:08,734 --> 00:38:10,011 - Yes, it is. - No, it's not. 405 00:38:10,115 --> 00:38:11,392 Yes, it is. 406 00:38:11,496 --> 00:38:13,083 Mike Griswold does it all the time. 407 00:38:13,187 --> 00:38:14,637 - No, he doesn't. - Yes, he does. 408 00:38:14,740 --> 00:38:16,328 - How? - What do you mean, how? 409 00:38:16,432 --> 00:38:19,952 The man is double jointed. End of story. 410 00:38:22,196 --> 00:38:24,819 Are you a vegetarian? 411 00:38:24,923 --> 00:38:28,236 - Yeah. - Why? 412 00:38:28,340 --> 00:38:31,723 Well, I guess I just feel bad for the animals. 413 00:38:33,069 --> 00:38:35,692 Would you care if it's like a three-tongued, like, cow 414 00:38:35,796 --> 00:38:38,005 that's, like, all gross and shit? 415 00:38:38,108 --> 00:38:40,835 Yeah. Would you, Soppy? 416 00:38:40,939 --> 00:38:42,458 I'd still feel bad. 417 00:38:42,561 --> 00:38:45,564 You know, you can't just go around killing innocent cows 418 00:38:45,668 --> 00:38:48,291 just because they're different. 419 00:38:48,395 --> 00:38:51,639 How could you not want to bite this? 420 00:38:51,743 --> 00:38:55,850 You just don't feel bad? Like, at all? 421 00:38:55,954 --> 00:38:58,715 It's not its fault it has three tongues. 422 00:38:58,819 --> 00:39:01,097 Chill, Soppy. Why are you spazzing? 423 00:39:01,200 --> 00:39:03,341 - I'm not. - "I'm not. 424 00:39:03,444 --> 00:39:06,792 It's not its fault it has three tongues." 425 00:39:06,896 --> 00:39:09,933 "You have two seconds to wipe that smile off your face. 426 00:39:10,037 --> 00:39:12,384 Two." 427 00:39:12,488 --> 00:39:13,972 Can you be more specific? 428 00:39:14,075 --> 00:39:21,704 Can you be more specific? Can you be more specific? 429 00:39:27,606 --> 00:39:30,091 Where you going? 430 00:39:30,195 --> 00:39:31,507 Bathroom. 431 00:39:33,543 --> 00:39:35,407 Mad cow disease. 432 00:40:05,264 --> 00:40:07,163 Yo, Eli. What's up? 433 00:40:27,735 --> 00:40:31,670 Um, how long do you think we've been in here for? 434 00:40:31,774 --> 00:40:33,396 Gelatin. 435 00:40:33,500 --> 00:40:34,742 What? 436 00:40:34,846 --> 00:40:36,399 You mix it in with foundation makeup 437 00:40:36,503 --> 00:40:38,021 and pour it in a silicone mold. 438 00:40:38,125 --> 00:40:41,128 Then you paint more detail and do the blood last. 439 00:40:42,612 --> 00:40:44,165 What are you talking about? 440 00:40:44,269 --> 00:40:46,823 For the-- For the trick. 441 00:40:48,894 --> 00:40:50,137 - Oh! - Yeah. 442 00:40:50,240 --> 00:40:51,552 Frankly, for the blood, 443 00:40:51,656 --> 00:40:53,140 it's important you don't buy the store stuff. 444 00:40:53,243 --> 00:40:55,798 Either make it with corn syrup and food coloring 445 00:40:55,901 --> 00:40:58,973 or save yourself some next time you cut yourself. 446 00:40:59,077 --> 00:41:00,527 You do that? 447 00:41:00,630 --> 00:41:02,218 Yeah, you just put the corn syrup into a bowl 448 00:41:02,321 --> 00:41:03,633 and add the food coloring. 449 00:41:03,737 --> 00:41:05,463 Sometimes I like to add a bit of water 450 00:41:05,566 --> 00:41:08,535 just so it's not too viscous. - Uh, no. 451 00:41:08,638 --> 00:41:10,985 You-- You cut yourself? 452 00:41:11,089 --> 00:41:12,262 Tiny pricks. 453 00:41:12,366 --> 00:41:13,471 It's soothing. 454 00:41:13,574 --> 00:41:15,680 Like a sound bath. Look. 455 00:41:20,788 --> 00:41:21,927 You shouldn't do that. 456 00:41:22,031 --> 00:41:23,411 Why? 457 00:41:23,515 --> 00:41:24,930 Because it's bad. 458 00:41:34,008 --> 00:41:38,565 Sometimes I dig my nails into my thumb till it bleeds. 459 00:41:41,602 --> 00:41:43,535 You're not from here, right? 460 00:41:50,024 --> 00:41:52,751 Um... 461 00:41:52,855 --> 00:41:57,411 My mom met some guy at a media summit. 462 00:41:57,515 --> 00:42:00,207 Phil. Um... 463 00:42:00,310 --> 00:42:03,141 And they had an affair, 464 00:42:03,244 --> 00:42:07,317 and she left my dad. 465 00:42:07,421 --> 00:42:09,250 I used to live in Boston. 466 00:42:10,735 --> 00:42:15,015 So basically, we just, like, uprooted. 467 00:42:15,118 --> 00:42:20,054 Um, so it's been... 468 00:42:20,158 --> 00:42:21,953 It's been kind of weird. 469 00:42:33,827 --> 00:42:36,312 Do you like your mom? 470 00:42:36,415 --> 00:42:38,072 She's my mom. 471 00:42:38,176 --> 00:42:40,696 You ever think about the fact that at some point in her life, 472 00:42:40,799 --> 00:42:42,629 she had to give head for the first time? 473 00:42:42,732 --> 00:42:45,217 Ew, no. Who are you? 474 00:42:45,321 --> 00:42:47,185 We wants it. We needs it. 475 00:42:47,288 --> 00:42:48,531 We must have the precious. 476 00:42:48,635 --> 00:42:50,464 They stole it from us. 477 00:42:50,568 --> 00:42:52,431 Holy shit. 478 00:42:52,535 --> 00:42:55,400 Wicked tricksy hobbitses. 479 00:42:55,503 --> 00:42:58,679 Stupid fat hobbitses. 480 00:43:06,169 --> 00:43:09,276 Would you rather fuck a dog and no one ever knows about it 481 00:43:09,379 --> 00:43:14,212 or not fuck a dog but everyone thinks you fucked a dog? 482 00:43:14,315 --> 00:43:17,249 Fuck a dog. I think. 483 00:43:17,353 --> 00:43:18,803 That's evil. 484 00:43:35,302 --> 00:43:39,168 Hey, uh, you've talked to a doctor, right? 485 00:43:39,271 --> 00:43:40,928 They gave me this cream, 486 00:43:41,032 --> 00:43:43,275 but I think it might be making it worse. 487 00:44:00,085 --> 00:44:04,020 Um, do you need a hand or...? 488 00:44:08,335 --> 00:44:10,682 I don't want to infect you. 489 00:44:13,167 --> 00:44:15,066 What do you mean? 490 00:44:15,169 --> 00:44:16,895 With the Plague. 491 00:44:18,345 --> 00:44:22,245 You don't actually believe in that, do you? 492 00:46:28,647 --> 00:46:30,788 Oh! 493 00:46:40,556 --> 00:46:47,839 Uh, are you guys, like, joking? 494 00:46:47,943 --> 00:46:50,083 Very funny. 495 00:46:59,023 --> 00:47:02,371 Okay, you can-- you can stop now. 496 00:48:15,582 --> 00:48:18,550 Jake told everyone you have the Plague. 497 00:48:21,381 --> 00:48:24,763 It's, like, not even a thing. 498 00:48:24,867 --> 00:48:27,525 He said you gave Eli a backrub. 499 00:48:28,802 --> 00:48:32,633 Yeah, that's totally untrue. So. 500 00:48:32,737 --> 00:48:37,984 Said you used scented oils or something like lavender. 501 00:48:41,849 --> 00:48:45,405 You know the Plague is fake, right? 502 00:48:45,508 --> 00:48:48,442 Yeah. It's dumb. 503 00:48:53,516 --> 00:48:56,209 You forgot your goggles. 504 00:49:03,423 --> 00:49:04,665 Thanks. 505 00:49:20,854 --> 00:49:22,580 I don't have the Plague. 506 00:49:22,683 --> 00:49:23,926 What? 507 00:49:24,030 --> 00:49:26,135 You told everyone I have the Plague. 508 00:49:26,239 --> 00:49:29,138 - No, I didn't. - Yes, you did. I know you did. 509 00:49:29,242 --> 00:49:30,519 I provided the dots. 510 00:49:30,622 --> 00:49:32,693 I can't help if others connect them. 511 00:49:32,797 --> 00:49:34,799 The dots? 512 00:49:34,902 --> 00:49:37,181 - Giving Eli a back rub. - That's not-- 513 00:49:37,284 --> 00:49:39,424 It wasn't a back rub. 514 00:49:39,528 --> 00:49:40,632 Okay. 515 00:49:43,635 --> 00:49:46,673 How would you feel if I told everyone 516 00:49:46,776 --> 00:49:48,882 your mom's, like, a stripper? 517 00:49:48,986 --> 00:49:51,989 - Confused. - Confused? 518 00:49:52,092 --> 00:49:57,787 I'd feel really fucking confused. 519 00:49:57,891 --> 00:50:00,169 Why? 520 00:50:00,273 --> 00:50:03,931 'Cause my mom's dead. 521 00:50:04,035 --> 00:50:07,073 That's not funny. 522 00:50:07,176 --> 00:50:08,453 I'm not joking. 523 00:50:13,113 --> 00:50:14,666 There's nothing wrong with me. 524 00:50:14,770 --> 00:50:16,323 Okay. 525 00:50:17,600 --> 00:50:19,499 The Plague is fake. 526 00:50:22,709 --> 00:50:24,021 Okay. 527 00:50:24,607 --> 00:50:30,682 So can you please tell everyone that I'm good? 528 00:50:30,786 --> 00:50:32,167 I thought you said it's fake. 529 00:50:32,270 --> 00:50:33,927 I mean, it is. 530 00:50:34,031 --> 00:50:35,584 Right? 531 00:50:35,687 --> 00:50:37,103 Maybe you don't have it. 532 00:50:37,206 --> 00:50:38,828 Did you wash your hands after? 533 00:50:38,932 --> 00:50:40,865 - After what? - The back rub. 534 00:50:40,968 --> 00:50:42,936 It wasn't a back rub. 535 00:50:43,040 --> 00:50:44,972 He needed help with his rash cream. 536 00:50:45,076 --> 00:50:46,284 Okay. 537 00:50:48,528 --> 00:50:50,840 Why are you doing this to me? 538 00:50:50,944 --> 00:50:52,566 Doing what? 539 00:50:52,670 --> 00:50:55,224 - Telling everyone that I have the Plague. - Bro, come on. 540 00:50:55,328 --> 00:50:58,434 Don't let what other people think decide who you are. 541 00:50:58,538 --> 00:51:01,472 What is that, like a fortune cookie? 542 00:51:01,575 --> 00:51:03,267 Dennis Rodman. 543 00:51:07,857 --> 00:51:10,170 Well, I washed my hands twice. 544 00:51:10,274 --> 00:51:12,138 That means I don't have it, right? 545 00:51:14,347 --> 00:51:16,487 She does not smell good. She smells like a foot. 546 00:51:16,590 --> 00:51:18,730 No, she doesn't. 547 00:51:18,834 --> 00:51:21,354 Yeah, maybe because I was up in her eyes. 548 00:51:21,457 --> 00:51:23,804 You were not up in anything. 549 00:53:03,697 --> 00:53:05,837 Brought you some tasty morsels. 550 00:53:06,838 --> 00:53:09,945 Got fries there, a hot dog, Skittles... 551 00:53:10,048 --> 00:53:11,602 gummy bears. 552 00:53:12,706 --> 00:53:14,260 Thanks. 553 00:53:17,124 --> 00:53:19,955 This kid, Nick Sinsigali, 554 00:53:20,058 --> 00:53:23,130 he put laxatives in my thermos before our trip to New York 555 00:53:23,234 --> 00:53:27,963 to see "Les Mis," and the bus didn't have any bathrooms, so... 556 00:53:29,136 --> 00:53:30,621 Yeah. 557 00:53:30,724 --> 00:53:32,692 My mom had to come pick me up. 558 00:53:32,795 --> 00:53:35,557 It sucks 'cause I actually really like "Les Mis." 559 00:53:40,665 --> 00:53:42,564 - Yeah. - I saw you went and talked to a girl 560 00:53:42,667 --> 00:53:44,566 and you froze up and you said you liked pineapple. 561 00:53:44,669 --> 00:53:47,741 Exactly. At least me and Logan havegirls. 562 00:53:47,845 --> 00:53:50,330 No, you guys don't have shit. Alright. 563 00:53:50,434 --> 00:53:52,194 Well, either-- Yo. - Shut up. 564 00:53:52,298 --> 00:53:53,920 Either you can get-- You can get... 565 00:53:54,023 --> 00:53:55,439 - The only thing. - Well, I have been inside Marguerite. 566 00:53:55,542 --> 00:53:56,888 Well, you guys-- 567 00:54:39,379 --> 00:54:42,037 Phase two-- motor skills. 568 00:54:42,140 --> 00:54:43,141 Gone. 569 00:54:45,040 --> 00:54:47,076 Mm! 570 00:54:57,432 --> 00:54:58,950 You see, it was like, facing the wall, 571 00:54:59,054 --> 00:55:00,366 you can't look at the dog. - What do you see? 572 00:55:00,469 --> 00:55:01,746 You could get like a... 573 00:55:01,850 --> 00:55:03,645 Yeah, but you can't see the dog, bro. 574 00:55:03,748 --> 00:55:07,062 - You're like her guide dog. - No. There's a cat... 575 00:55:08,891 --> 00:55:10,686 What do you think Soppy is doing? 576 00:55:10,790 --> 00:55:12,757 That's actually a great question. Where the fuck is Soppy? 577 00:55:12,861 --> 00:55:16,209 Probably giving Eli a belly rub this time, after the back rub. 578 00:55:18,004 --> 00:55:20,075 Maybe he's giving out some back pats. 579 00:55:20,178 --> 00:55:21,663 Back pats? 580 00:57:15,052 --> 00:57:18,365 My name is Soppy, and I just let it out. 581 00:57:20,264 --> 00:57:23,267 Soppy! 582 00:57:27,271 --> 00:57:29,618 Better not be dreaming about one of our bitches. 583 00:57:29,722 --> 00:57:32,138 Yeah! 584 00:57:32,241 --> 00:57:33,519 Aww, Soppy! 585 00:57:33,622 --> 00:57:36,314 - Soppy! - Soppy! 586 00:57:36,418 --> 00:57:37,695 Soppy! 587 00:58:02,099 --> 00:58:04,308 Excuse me. Hello? Um, do you have a phone? 588 00:58:07,449 --> 00:58:09,796 - Hello? - Mom. 589 00:58:09,900 --> 00:58:11,971 Hi. Ben, is that you? 590 00:58:14,249 --> 00:58:17,183 Ben? Honey? Are you there? Can you hear me? 591 00:58:19,254 --> 00:58:20,980 Ben, are you there? 592 00:58:21,083 --> 00:58:23,638 Yeah. Um, yeah, I... 593 00:58:25,536 --> 00:58:27,780 I was just wondering, um... 594 00:58:29,747 --> 00:58:33,164 ...uh, if you could just pick me up. 595 00:58:33,268 --> 00:58:35,788 Honey, where are you? 596 00:58:35,891 --> 00:58:37,203 Ben, honey, tell me where you are. 597 00:58:37,306 --> 00:58:38,342 Tell me where you are right-- 598 00:58:46,281 --> 00:58:48,663 Ben. 599 00:58:58,120 --> 00:59:01,779 Hey, you know what my favorite day of high school was? 600 00:59:03,643 --> 00:59:05,093 Very last day. 601 00:59:06,784 --> 00:59:09,925 Hated it. Yeah. Had a nickname. 602 00:59:10,029 --> 00:59:12,307 It was Chubz. 603 00:59:12,410 --> 00:59:16,967 I hadn't even been overweight since middle school, 604 00:59:17,070 --> 00:59:20,039 but the name followed me, and, you know, 605 00:59:20,142 --> 00:59:21,627 it was stuck in my head. 606 00:59:21,730 --> 00:59:24,491 And then you know what? 607 00:59:24,595 --> 00:59:26,839 I graduated... 608 00:59:26,942 --> 00:59:30,877 and I left it all behind, and I started fresh. 609 00:59:33,017 --> 00:59:36,124 You see? 610 00:59:36,227 --> 00:59:39,645 So... your 20s were good? 611 00:59:40,715 --> 00:59:43,131 Uh... ehh, no. 612 00:59:43,234 --> 00:59:46,306 No, I mean, I had my heart broken, and-- 613 00:59:46,410 --> 00:59:49,275 and then, you know, I-- I gained some more weight, 614 00:59:49,378 --> 00:59:50,759 30 pounds, and then, 615 00:59:50,863 --> 00:59:53,969 well, then I put my back out 616 00:59:54,073 --> 00:59:56,282 just literally reaching for a set of keys, 617 00:59:56,385 --> 00:59:58,525 and the doctor said I was never gonna, you know, 618 00:59:58,629 --> 00:59:59,803 recover and whatever. 619 00:59:59,906 --> 01:00:01,701 But, I mean, even still, 620 01:00:01,805 --> 01:00:05,118 yes, it was way better than my teens. 621 01:00:05,222 --> 01:00:07,155 Now, my 30s... 622 01:00:07,258 --> 01:00:08,708 better than my 20s. 623 01:00:08,812 --> 01:00:12,678 And now, I mean, look at me now, right? 624 01:00:12,781 --> 01:00:14,645 40 and sporty. 625 01:00:16,543 --> 01:00:18,338 And... 626 01:00:18,442 --> 01:00:22,688 ...your teens were better than... 627 01:00:22,791 --> 01:00:25,311 like, your first decade? - Pshh. 628 01:00:25,414 --> 01:00:26,761 Hell no. 629 01:00:26,864 --> 01:00:30,005 I mean, that time is just pure bliss. 630 01:00:30,109 --> 01:00:32,318 I mean, nothing better than that. 631 01:00:35,286 --> 01:00:37,564 This is like the most depressing pep talk ever. 632 01:00:37,668 --> 01:00:40,291 Look, just... 633 01:00:40,395 --> 01:00:41,810 be yourself, 'cause... 634 01:00:44,675 --> 01:00:46,988 ...then what else are you gonna be? 635 01:00:48,817 --> 01:00:50,854 You're you. It's cool. 636 01:00:50,957 --> 01:00:53,132 Just be yourself, man. 637 01:00:54,961 --> 01:00:56,653 It'll all work out. 638 01:00:56,756 --> 01:00:59,207 I know it's a cliché. 639 01:01:04,799 --> 01:01:06,421 I don't know if that helps. 640 01:01:09,493 --> 01:01:11,012 Anyway... 641 01:01:11,115 --> 01:01:13,911 My mom didn't yell at you, right? 642 01:01:14,015 --> 01:01:16,811 She was just concerned, that's all. 643 01:01:16,914 --> 01:01:19,261 You really scared her. 644 01:01:19,365 --> 01:01:21,022 It's okay to cry. 645 01:01:21,125 --> 01:01:22,609 Just let it out. 646 01:01:22,713 --> 01:01:25,198 Let it out. It's cool. 647 01:01:32,792 --> 01:01:37,038 She just doesn't know how to, like, be a person. 648 01:01:41,042 --> 01:01:43,251 Someone giving you a hard time, Ben? 649 01:01:47,393 --> 01:01:50,741 'Cause if they are, you just gotta tell me. 650 01:01:50,845 --> 01:01:53,537 'Cause your silence is helping no one. 651 01:01:53,640 --> 01:01:55,297 Especially not you. 652 01:01:58,887 --> 01:02:00,682 Is it Jake? 653 01:02:00,786 --> 01:02:03,720 What? No. No. No, why? 654 01:02:06,377 --> 01:02:09,277 Okay. 655 01:02:14,800 --> 01:02:16,767 Listen, guys like Jake... 656 01:02:16,871 --> 01:02:18,804 they're just scared. 657 01:02:18,907 --> 01:02:21,392 They're terrified of guys like Eli 658 01:02:21,496 --> 01:02:23,084 'cause he's different. 659 01:02:24,499 --> 01:02:25,845 You wanna know a secret? 660 01:02:25,949 --> 01:02:27,467 We're all different. 661 01:02:27,571 --> 01:02:29,262 All of us. 662 01:02:29,366 --> 01:02:31,057 I haven't even thought about the guys 663 01:02:31,161 --> 01:02:33,542 that called me Chubz until, like, right now. 664 01:02:33,646 --> 01:02:35,544 In fact, right now, 665 01:02:35,648 --> 01:02:37,926 they're probably sitting on a couch, 666 01:02:38,030 --> 01:02:41,205 guess what, super chubby. 667 01:02:42,344 --> 01:02:43,794 Alright, so... 668 01:02:53,700 --> 01:02:55,841 You know? 669 01:03:01,674 --> 01:03:03,331 What do you say? 670 01:03:04,988 --> 01:03:07,024 Wanna take me home? 671 01:03:14,791 --> 01:03:17,241 The swim session - starts in 10 minutes. 672 01:03:17,345 --> 01:03:21,314 Councilors, please make sure you bring some sunscreen. 673 01:03:23,730 --> 01:03:26,285 - Who's that? - Yeah. You see, man? 674 01:03:26,388 --> 01:03:29,564 No, came first. 675 01:03:29,667 --> 01:03:33,119 - We think the same. - No, the chicken came first, yo. 676 01:03:33,223 --> 01:03:34,845 Why are we even entertaining this? 677 01:03:34,949 --> 01:03:36,985 - I disagree. Exactly. - Why did you just say egg? 678 01:03:46,581 --> 01:03:49,480 Okay? 679 01:03:49,584 --> 01:03:51,586 I don't see why you have a problem with him. 680 01:04:17,163 --> 01:04:19,476 That's like incest, man. 681 01:04:19,579 --> 01:04:21,305 It wasn't in their bed. 682 01:04:21,409 --> 01:04:23,583 They have this, like, big bathtub 683 01:04:23,687 --> 01:04:26,172 with, like, a waterfall spout. 684 01:04:26,276 --> 01:04:28,485 Just sliding your butt to the side. 685 01:04:28,588 --> 01:04:31,453 Pop your legs up. Ooh. 686 01:04:31,557 --> 01:04:34,077 Yo, my uncle has a hot tub, 687 01:04:34,180 --> 01:04:36,907 and the jets, they're amazing. 688 01:04:37,011 --> 01:04:38,944 You see? He gets it. 689 01:04:39,047 --> 01:04:41,049 Not the same thing, though. 690 01:04:41,153 --> 01:04:43,431 No, it is the same thing. 691 01:04:46,365 --> 01:04:48,850 ...walking into a Taco Bell. 692 01:04:48,954 --> 01:04:51,266 You ever been to Mongolian Grill? 693 01:04:52,612 --> 01:04:53,855 Dude, it's insane. 694 01:04:53,959 --> 01:04:55,408 They got guys throwing meat cleavers. 695 01:04:55,512 --> 01:04:57,134 It's like, chop, chop, chop, chop, toss. 696 01:04:57,238 --> 01:04:58,998 "How are you doing today, ma'am?" Catch. 697 01:04:59,102 --> 01:05:01,069 Chop, chop, chop, chop, catch. Toss. 698 01:05:03,037 --> 01:05:04,831 I've always wanted to start a restaurant. 699 01:05:04,935 --> 01:05:09,733 Wait, maybe instead of being seated at a booth, 700 01:05:09,836 --> 01:05:11,217 you're brought to your own private sauna 701 01:05:11,321 --> 01:05:13,012 and it's like, "Good morning, folks. 702 01:05:13,116 --> 01:05:14,738 Welcome to Steam N' Sizzle. 703 01:05:14,841 --> 01:05:17,603 Can I take your order?" Open 24/7. 704 01:05:28,614 --> 01:05:29,926 Um... 705 01:05:31,134 --> 01:05:34,931 ...do you ever think, like... 706 01:05:35,034 --> 01:05:40,937 maybe the Plague isn't 100% fake? 707 01:05:56,400 --> 01:05:57,608 Never mind. 708 01:05:57,712 --> 01:05:59,369 That was a dumb question. 709 01:06:03,166 --> 01:06:05,237 I think there's something wrong with me. 710 01:06:09,137 --> 01:06:10,242 What do you mean? 711 01:06:14,142 --> 01:06:15,350 I don't know. 712 01:06:15,454 --> 01:06:17,490 I just feel something's wrong. 713 01:06:23,738 --> 01:06:24,946 Yeah, but... 714 01:06:25,050 --> 01:06:27,052 but that-- that's... 715 01:06:27,155 --> 01:06:30,020 just a feeling, right? 716 01:06:31,332 --> 01:06:35,267 Like, it-- it's not... actually real. 717 01:07:23,625 --> 01:07:25,524 Hey, soppy! 718 01:07:27,905 --> 01:07:29,286 Hey. What's up? 719 01:07:34,084 --> 01:07:37,156 Talked to Daddy Wags. 720 01:07:37,260 --> 01:07:38,744 I just want to say if I've been a dick or anything, 721 01:07:38,847 --> 01:07:40,332 you know, I'm sorry. 722 01:07:41,229 --> 01:07:43,611 What? No. No. No, no, no, no, no. 723 01:07:43,714 --> 01:07:45,095 Have an older brother. 724 01:07:45,199 --> 01:07:46,545 I'm just used to being around his friends, 725 01:07:46,648 --> 01:07:48,271 and we just give each other shit all the time. 726 01:07:48,374 --> 01:07:50,204 Yeah, I don't even know what you're talking about. 727 01:07:52,723 --> 01:07:53,862 Really? 728 01:07:55,588 --> 01:07:58,764 Well, you know, I-- I saw them talking to you, 729 01:07:58,867 --> 01:08:01,698 but... what happened? 730 01:08:01,801 --> 01:08:04,632 You know, I got the big old lecture on bullying and stuff, 731 01:08:04,735 --> 01:08:06,737 but... 732 01:08:06,841 --> 01:08:08,463 Hmm, so dumb. 733 01:08:08,567 --> 01:08:10,431 Like, what is this, kindergarten? 734 01:08:19,129 --> 01:08:21,476 You know, maybe Eli said something. 735 01:08:23,685 --> 01:08:24,824 You think? 736 01:08:27,689 --> 01:08:28,656 Yeah. 737 01:08:34,248 --> 01:08:36,940 Maybe. - Could be. 738 01:08:37,043 --> 01:08:38,114 I guess I'll see you later, bro. 739 01:08:38,217 --> 01:08:39,494 Yeah. 740 01:10:16,315 --> 01:10:19,284 Fuck! Aah! Fuck, get 'em off! 741 01:10:19,387 --> 01:10:23,011 No, get off! Stop! Fuck! 742 01:10:23,115 --> 01:10:26,014 Get off! Fuck! 743 01:10:26,118 --> 01:10:31,054 No, stop! Get off! Stop! No! 744 01:10:31,157 --> 01:10:32,573 No! 745 01:10:34,160 --> 01:10:36,266 Get off! 746 01:10:37,302 --> 01:10:40,684 Stop! Fuck! Stop! 747 01:10:40,788 --> 01:10:44,619 Help! Stop! Stop! 748 01:10:44,723 --> 01:10:46,863 Stop! 749 01:10:46,966 --> 01:10:48,416 Fuck! 750 01:10:49,383 --> 01:10:52,317 Stop! Get off! Fuck! 751 01:10:52,420 --> 01:10:55,009 Stop! Aah! Stop! 752 01:10:55,112 --> 01:10:58,875 Get off! Stop! Aah! 753 01:10:58,978 --> 01:11:01,257 Fuck! 754 01:11:01,360 --> 01:11:02,913 Fuck off! 755 01:11:03,017 --> 01:11:05,916 Fuck! Oh, my God! Get them off! - The Plague! 756 01:11:06,020 --> 01:11:08,471 The Plague! The Plague! 757 01:11:08,574 --> 01:11:10,714 Go snitch to Daddy Wags, bro. 758 01:11:10,818 --> 01:11:12,958 Go snitch to Daddy Wags. Go snitch to Daddy Wags. 759 01:11:13,061 --> 01:11:15,340 Get off! 760 01:11:17,169 --> 01:11:19,585 Get them off! 761 01:11:23,969 --> 01:11:26,765 - You okay? - We're just messing around, Eli! 762 01:11:26,868 --> 01:11:29,492 Okay? It was a funny joke! That's what friends do. 763 01:11:29,595 --> 01:11:32,046 How is that not obvious to you?! 764 01:11:35,498 --> 01:11:38,501 The Plague! The Plague! Plague! 765 01:14:02,817 --> 01:14:05,406 Would you rather not eat for 48 hours 766 01:14:05,510 --> 01:14:08,271 or spend the day with Daddy Wags? 767 01:14:08,374 --> 01:14:10,825 There's only one. I think it's safe. 768 01:14:12,655 --> 01:14:15,589 I would go for 80 days. 769 01:14:15,692 --> 01:14:18,212 I'd go for 30 days and 23 hours. 770 01:14:18,315 --> 01:14:20,663 No, no. 80 hours. 771 01:14:20,766 --> 01:14:23,907 - Exactly. - Hey. 772 01:14:24,011 --> 01:14:27,808 Yo. "Two seconds. Wipe that grin off your face. 773 01:14:27,911 --> 01:14:29,534 Canceling practice for everybody 774 01:14:29,637 --> 01:14:32,468 and putting everybody on the street, dude." 775 01:14:32,571 --> 01:14:34,193 What? 776 01:14:42,408 --> 01:14:47,379 Then if you drink water, then it has water in it, so... 777 01:14:47,483 --> 01:14:48,863 What? 778 01:16:08,736 --> 01:16:12,153 Let's go! Go, go, go! 779 01:16:12,257 --> 01:16:14,121 Push! 780 01:16:16,295 --> 01:16:17,883 Keep moving! 781 01:16:20,265 --> 01:16:23,164 Heads up! Eyes on the ball! 782 01:16:36,730 --> 01:16:39,525 Push! Push! Push! 783 01:16:39,629 --> 01:16:42,701 Move that ball! 784 01:16:48,362 --> 01:16:49,950 Press. 785 01:16:51,986 --> 01:16:53,470 Press! 786 01:16:53,574 --> 01:16:56,232 Push! Push! 787 01:16:59,960 --> 01:17:02,548 Find an open spot. - Seriously... 788 01:17:02,652 --> 01:17:04,689 The ball... - Move those legs! 789 01:17:04,792 --> 01:17:05,793 Come on! Move 'em, move 'em! 790 01:17:08,278 --> 01:17:10,246 Come on! 791 01:17:19,324 --> 01:17:21,602 Get back! 792 01:17:21,706 --> 01:17:23,846 No, no, no, no! No! No! 793 01:17:34,546 --> 01:17:36,686 Stop! - Pass the ball! 794 01:17:36,790 --> 01:17:38,412 Come on. 795 01:17:39,793 --> 01:17:40,932 Keep it up! 796 01:17:41,035 --> 01:17:43,141 Alright, shoot, shoot, shoot! 797 01:17:47,076 --> 01:17:48,629 Nice, Ben. 798 01:17:48,733 --> 01:17:50,079 Hey, he fucking scratched me. 799 01:17:50,182 --> 01:17:51,528 - What? - Call it. 800 01:17:51,632 --> 01:17:55,636 - Call what? - The fucking scratch. 801 01:17:55,740 --> 01:17:57,086 You blow that whistle all the time, 802 01:17:57,189 --> 01:17:59,605 and you won't blow it on him right now? 803 01:17:59,709 --> 01:18:02,470 Oh, my fuck, bro! Call it! 804 01:18:02,574 --> 01:18:04,058 Fuck, bro. 805 01:18:04,162 --> 01:18:07,130 You don't know fucking jack shit about water polo, bitch. 806 01:18:21,627 --> 01:18:23,388 Mm! 807 01:18:43,132 --> 01:18:45,548 Get out of here! 808 01:18:45,651 --> 01:18:49,586 Hey! 809 01:18:49,690 --> 01:18:51,174 You alright? 810 01:18:51,278 --> 01:18:52,486 You okay? - Oh! 811 01:18:52,589 --> 01:18:55,351 Hey! Get out of the pool! 812 01:18:55,454 --> 01:18:56,939 Come on. 813 01:18:59,355 --> 01:19:01,046 Come on. Get out. 814 01:19:04,670 --> 01:19:07,328 Huh? What are you thinking? 815 01:21:45,624 --> 01:21:48,765 Hey. Whoever gets a handjob first gets 10,000. 816 01:22:00,881 --> 01:22:04,850 That's the Plague at the peak of its shit. 817 01:22:48,687 --> 01:22:50,724 - Eli. - Wazzup?! 818 01:22:50,827 --> 01:22:52,243 What are you doing? 819 01:22:54,693 --> 01:22:57,593 Eli! What are you doing?! 820 01:22:57,696 --> 01:23:01,286 - Ben, I am dancing. - No, Eli, you're not dancing, 821 01:23:01,390 --> 01:23:03,012 because you have no one to dance with. 822 01:23:03,116 --> 01:23:05,808 Yes, I do. I'm dancing with Boopy. 823 01:23:05,911 --> 01:23:08,362 She doesn't care about the Plague. 824 01:23:08,466 --> 01:23:10,330 Right, Boopy? 825 01:23:10,433 --> 01:23:12,815 Hey! Stop! 826 01:23:12,918 --> 01:23:15,024 What are you doing?! 827 01:23:15,128 --> 01:23:16,612 What are you...?! 828 01:23:18,510 --> 01:23:19,891 Why'd you do that? 829 01:23:19,995 --> 01:23:21,272 Why'd you do that?! 830 01:23:23,929 --> 01:23:25,793 Eli. 831 01:23:25,897 --> 01:23:29,038 Eli, stop. Listen to me. 832 01:23:33,008 --> 01:23:34,423 Wait! 833 01:23:34,526 --> 01:23:36,735 Where are you going? Come here! Stop! 834 01:23:38,875 --> 01:23:40,532 Eli! 835 01:23:46,228 --> 01:23:48,161 Do you know what your problem is? 836 01:23:49,748 --> 01:23:51,267 You don't even try. 837 01:23:52,268 --> 01:23:54,546 You think that you can just be yourself 838 01:23:54,650 --> 01:23:57,791 and not give a shit what anyone thinks. 839 01:23:57,894 --> 01:24:00,966 But that only works when "yourself" is the kind of person 840 01:24:01,070 --> 01:24:03,417 other people want to be around. 841 01:24:03,521 --> 01:24:06,731 Eli, no one wants to be around you. 842 01:24:06,834 --> 01:24:08,250 No one! 843 01:24:09,630 --> 01:24:12,806 Look at me! I'm talking to you! 844 01:24:12,909 --> 01:24:14,670 Hey! Eye contact. 845 01:24:14,773 --> 01:24:16,465 Ever heard of it? 846 01:24:16,568 --> 01:24:19,847 What the fuck is your fucking problem?! 847 01:24:20,572 --> 01:24:22,091 You know, one day you're gonna have to 848 01:24:22,195 --> 01:24:23,989 grow the fuck up and realize it's time 849 01:24:24,093 --> 01:24:27,027 to start behaving like an actual human being, 850 01:24:27,131 --> 01:24:28,753 or you're just gonna spend the rest 851 01:24:28,856 --> 01:24:32,101 of your miserable fucking life friendless and alone! 852 01:24:32,205 --> 01:24:34,310 Is that what you want?! 853 01:24:34,414 --> 01:24:36,864 Look at me. Is that what you want?! 854 01:25:23,187 --> 01:25:26,051 Eli. It's not funny. 855 01:26:07,886 --> 01:26:10,061 Alright. Get in. 856 01:26:10,165 --> 01:26:12,305 Okay. Uh... 857 01:26:12,408 --> 01:26:13,720 - He's gonna be okay, right? - Go inside, Ben. 858 01:26:13,823 --> 01:26:16,136 Right? But he's gonna be okay, right? 859 01:26:16,240 --> 01:26:18,759 Ben, go inside! He'll be okay. 860 01:26:18,863 --> 01:26:20,347 Fuck! 861 01:29:24,393 --> 01:29:26,119 Set it up, DJ! 862 01:29:54,147 --> 01:29:55,493 Set it up, DJ! 863 01:30:37,086 --> 01:30:38,467 Set it up, DJ! 57892

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