Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:25,692 --> 00:00:26,943
Mmm.
2
00:00:29,279 --> 00:00:33,283
- Good morning.
- Good morning.
3
00:00:34,743 --> 00:00:36,703
Oh, God, I've got bad morning breath.
4
00:00:37,287 --> 00:00:39,956
I don't care. I like your morning breath.
5
00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:43,918
- I like yours, too.
- Yeah?
6
00:00:44,002 --> 00:00:45,837
- Is that gross?
- Mnh-mnh.
7
00:00:45,920 --> 00:00:47,672
- Are we totally gross?
- No.
8
00:00:49,007 --> 00:00:50,007
I missed you.
9
00:00:50,675 --> 00:00:53,511
- When?
- While we were asleep.
10
00:00:53,970 --> 00:00:55,513
I missed you in sleep.
11
00:00:55,597 --> 00:00:58,433
Oh, my God. You're such a little mush.
12
00:00:58,516 --> 00:01:01,227
You're the mush.
You just don't want to admit it.
13
00:01:07,817 --> 00:01:10,195
I gotta wake up.
14
00:01:10,278 --> 00:01:12,072
Waking up sucks!
15
00:01:12,989 --> 00:01:16,326
Hey, so, what's the plan for tonight?
16
00:01:16,409 --> 00:01:20,497
'Cause I was just thinking about going
from work to the bowling alley.
17
00:01:20,580 --> 00:01:22,165
Does that work for you?
18
00:01:22,248 --> 00:01:25,543
Yeah, I figure we could
just meet Syd and Jeff there.
19
00:01:25,627 --> 00:01:29,255
Hey, Mickey. Quick question.
Is one of my balls hanging out?
20
00:01:33,635 --> 00:01:36,805
- No.
- Thank you. I appreciate your honesty.
21
00:01:36,888 --> 00:01:39,516
- I think that's what makes this work.
- Yep.
22
00:01:40,767 --> 00:01:42,644
You!
23
00:01:43,561 --> 00:01:46,189
I have to get ready!
24
00:01:47,899 --> 00:01:51,611
Are you hungry? Do you want me
to make you some breakfast?
25
00:01:51,694 --> 00:01:54,656
Would you make me
a blanket burrito?
26
00:01:54,739 --> 00:01:58,535
Oh, do you want
a little breakfast blanket burrito?
27
00:01:58,618 --> 00:02:01,287
One order coming right up.
28
00:02:07,544 --> 00:02:12,590
Oh, somebody's hungry for a little
breakfast burrito, sizzle, sizzle.
29
00:02:12,674 --> 00:02:13,883
- Want salsa on it?
- Mm-hmm.
30
00:02:13,967 --> 00:02:15,260
Sour cream?
31
00:02:15,343 --> 00:02:16,678
Little egg?
32
00:02:19,597 --> 00:02:20,597
Mmm.
33
00:02:22,767 --> 00:02:24,686
Micks, you're wearing my shirt.
34
00:02:24,769 --> 00:02:28,481
Yes! I saw it in the dryer,
and I thought it looked so cute.
35
00:02:28,565 --> 00:02:29,607
Is that okay?
36
00:02:29,691 --> 00:02:32,235
It's great because I've actually
been looking all over for it,
37
00:02:32,318 --> 00:02:34,529
and now I know exactly where it is.
38
00:02:34,612 --> 00:02:35,864
Yep. There it is.
39
00:02:35,947 --> 00:02:37,323
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
40
00:02:37,407 --> 00:02:41,661
Whoa! Did any of you guys hear those cats
fighting outside last night, man?
41
00:02:41,744 --> 00:02:43,121
What? No.
42
00:02:43,204 --> 00:02:47,292
They woke me up. They were so loud.
These cats were hashing it out.
43
00:02:50,628 --> 00:02:52,088
Cats can get pretty noisy.
44
00:02:52,797 --> 00:02:54,215
You're telling me.
45
00:02:58,344 --> 00:02:59,429
That's my fruit.
46
00:03:00,054 --> 00:03:01,389
It's really good. Thanks.
47
00:03:02,599 --> 00:03:05,101
Cats are weird, man.
Did I tell you about my cat Zip?
48
00:03:05,852 --> 00:03:08,897
This one time, I thought
she was fighting this other cat.
49
00:03:08,980 --> 00:03:11,900
I went to tear 'em apart,
but it turns out Zip was having sex.
50
00:03:11,983 --> 00:03:14,527
Yes, you've shared that gem before.
51
00:03:14,611 --> 00:03:18,448
When I pulled my hand away,
it was covered in all this weird goo.
52
00:03:18,531 --> 00:03:21,534
Great. I can start my day
now that I've heard about cat jizz.
53
00:03:22,744 --> 00:03:25,288
- Well...
- Can you move in a little?
54
00:03:25,371 --> 00:03:26,664
All right.
55
00:03:28,082 --> 00:03:30,168
Squeeze play.
56
00:03:31,294 --> 00:03:33,922
Man. Who shoved a pole up her ass today?
57
00:03:34,005 --> 00:03:34,881
- Don't say that.
- That's not fair.
58
00:03:34,964 --> 00:03:35,798
Okay, sorry.
59
00:03:35,882 --> 00:03:37,091
- Have a good day.
- Bye.
60
00:03:37,175 --> 00:03:38,468
- Bye.
- Bye.
61
00:03:38,551 --> 00:03:39,802
See you, dude.
62
00:03:39,886 --> 00:03:41,179
I'm kidding!
63
00:04:21,386 --> 00:04:22,637
Where are we?
64
00:04:22,720 --> 00:04:24,760
The basement
of the old department store.
65
00:04:25,139 --> 00:04:27,141
Hey, guys. This way. In here.
66
00:04:30,853 --> 00:04:32,397
Are you sure we're safe here?
67
00:04:32,897 --> 00:04:36,317
I promised I'd keep you safe, right?
So, yeah, we're safe.
68
00:04:47,870 --> 00:04:50,957
You're all witnesses. The...
69
00:04:51,040 --> 00:04:55,336
I'm sorry. I can't.
All this blood all over your face, dude.
70
00:04:55,420 --> 00:04:57,130
Arya, you're doing great.
71
00:04:57,213 --> 00:04:59,275
Annie, we have to get this
while the blood looks fresh.
72
00:04:59,299 --> 00:05:00,174
- Sorry.
- Jesus!
73
00:05:00,258 --> 00:05:02,111
Stay in the scene
so we don't have to do it again.
74
00:05:02,135 --> 00:05:03,428
Fuck! What was my line?
75
00:05:03,511 --> 00:05:05,972
"You're all witnesses.
That means we're all in this together."
76
00:05:06,055 --> 00:05:08,099
We're all in this together.
77
00:05:08,182 --> 00:05:09,309
"We're all witnesses!"
78
00:05:11,227 --> 00:05:13,938
We're all witnesses. That...
79
00:05:14,022 --> 00:05:17,233
I'm sorry, I can't!
It's coming out of your nose.
80
00:05:17,317 --> 00:05:18,443
It's funny. It's good.
81
00:05:18,526 --> 00:05:22,155
- Say your fucking line!
- Oh, my God. Okay? Chill out.
82
00:05:22,238 --> 00:05:23,531
Jesus! Cut!
83
00:05:23,614 --> 00:05:26,993
Cut! We are resetting!
All teams in here please.
84
00:05:27,076 --> 00:05:28,870
Arya, you cannot call cut!
85
00:05:28,953 --> 00:05:32,582
Whatever, I just did it!
This is a continuity nightmare!
86
00:05:32,665 --> 00:05:34,667
Let's go, everybody!
Move in here.
87
00:05:36,711 --> 00:05:40,298
Look at my aunt. It's our first day back
at work. She's already stressed.
88
00:05:40,381 --> 00:05:44,135
- She'll catch shingles again.
- She must be stressed with this retool.
89
00:05:44,218 --> 00:05:45,678
- Hey!
- Ow! What?
90
00:05:45,762 --> 00:05:48,765
Don't say the word "retool," okay?
It's a reimagining.
91
00:05:48,848 --> 00:05:49,766
Very important to Susan.
92
00:05:49,849 --> 00:05:53,186
No, it's called
"doing everything not to get canceled."
93
00:05:53,269 --> 00:05:55,188
They're putting the show
in present day,
94
00:05:55,271 --> 00:05:56,898
adding teenagers and monsters.
95
00:05:56,981 --> 00:06:01,736
Are you serious? I love the changes.
Arya, playing her own granddaughter,
96
00:06:01,819 --> 00:06:04,655
fighting monsters in the present day.
That rules.
97
00:06:04,739 --> 00:06:07,992
When they said mummy,
I got, like, super excited.
98
00:06:08,076 --> 00:06:12,914
Can I borrow your pom-poms when you're
done waving 'em around like a cheerleader?
99
00:06:12,997 --> 00:06:16,000
Susan Cheryl's not around
to hear you kiss her ass.
100
00:06:16,084 --> 00:06:17,543
Oh, my God. Whatever.
101
00:06:17,627 --> 00:06:21,631
I guess I could be negative
like you guys, but I don't know,
102
00:06:21,714 --> 00:06:24,842
my thing is if you put posi-hivity out
into the world,
103
00:06:24,926 --> 00:06:26,135
then you get positivity back.
104
00:06:26,219 --> 00:06:28,304
- What's "posi-hivity"?
- "Posi-hivity"!
105
00:06:28,387 --> 00:06:31,432
I misspoke. You know what I meant.
I said "positivity."
106
00:06:31,516 --> 00:06:33,351
You distinctly said "posi-hivity."
107
00:06:33,434 --> 00:06:35,728
- How should we know what that means?
- I heard it.
108
00:06:35,812 --> 00:06:37,146
You knew what I meant.
109
00:06:37,230 --> 00:06:40,525
If you imagine you want
a good parking spot, you'll get one.
110
00:06:40,608 --> 00:06:42,944
You don't have to explain positivity
to me, dude.
111
00:06:43,027 --> 00:06:46,781
I spent $100 on mindfulness apps.
I know what I'm doing.
112
00:06:46,864 --> 00:06:48,866
Fuck the haters, man.
113
00:06:48,950 --> 00:06:50,993
No, it's fine.
114
00:06:51,953 --> 00:06:53,746
- Can you keep a secret?
- What's going on?
115
00:06:54,455 --> 00:06:55,832
This is my last teaching job.
116
00:06:55,915 --> 00:06:57,667
Look around.
See the show we're making?
117
00:06:57,750 --> 00:07:00,378
- This is everybody's last job.
- I'm serious.
118
00:07:00,461 --> 00:07:04,257
Six more months of kids neglecting me
while I teach the US Constitution,
119
00:07:04,340 --> 00:07:06,175
- and I'm out.
- Sound like a solid plan.
120
00:07:06,926 --> 00:07:08,719
- Oh! I'll be right back.
- Cool.
121
00:07:10,138 --> 00:07:12,223
- Evan.
- I don't have time right now.
122
00:07:12,306 --> 00:07:16,018
I know. I wanted to get you something.
A little welcome-back present.
123
00:07:16,894 --> 00:07:19,897
- Wow!
- They're noise-canceling headphones.
124
00:07:19,981 --> 00:07:23,192
Next time you're sick of hearing me,
you can pop those on.
125
00:07:23,276 --> 00:07:27,113
Thanks. This gift is really intense.
126
00:07:27,196 --> 00:07:32,368
Oh. Well, you're welcome. I just...
I wanted to start off on the right foot.
127
00:07:33,578 --> 00:07:34,662
- Cool.
- Cool.
128
00:07:34,745 --> 00:07:36,038
- Thanks, man.
- Yeah.
129
00:07:36,122 --> 00:07:38,124
- All right.
- All right.
130
00:07:44,505 --> 00:07:46,924
Okay, we're gonna have a good six months.
131
00:07:47,592 --> 00:07:48,634
Okay.
132
00:07:52,430 --> 00:07:53,931
Fuck me.
133
00:07:55,683 --> 00:07:57,518
Would you wanna do as a topic,
134
00:07:57,602 --> 00:08:00,438
when that girl talked about
getting horny while on her period?
135
00:08:00,521 --> 00:08:04,317
- I loved that. It's true. I do.
- Me, too. Nobody talks about it.
136
00:08:04,400 --> 00:08:07,028
Sounds like some real feminism
at work here, huh?
137
00:08:07,612 --> 00:08:10,364
Whoo! Getting that
millennial perspective, right?
138
00:08:10,448 --> 00:08:12,408
Uh... Or when that woman talked about
139
00:08:12,492 --> 00:08:14,386
how her husband can't get hard
on their honeymoon.
140
00:08:14,410 --> 00:08:17,455
- We could turn that into something.
- That could be a whole episode on...
141
00:08:17,538 --> 00:08:21,792
I'm doing a thing on impotence today.
You might wanna steer clear of that.
142
00:08:21,876 --> 00:08:25,379
Well, actually, we talked about it
on our show first, so...
143
00:08:25,463 --> 00:08:28,925
So, what? You don't own impotence.
144
00:08:29,008 --> 00:08:31,135
No, but I heard that you do.
145
00:08:33,262 --> 00:08:34,262
Fuck.
146
00:08:34,305 --> 00:08:38,184
Relax! There's gonna be some crossover
with our shows. It's fine.
147
00:08:38,267 --> 00:08:39,685
Apparently, there's a lot!
148
00:08:39,769 --> 00:08:44,398
Last week, I did a whole thing
on withholding orgasms.
149
00:08:44,482 --> 00:08:48,778
I tune into your show the next day,
big surprise.
150
00:08:48,861 --> 00:08:51,781
"Today's topic: Withholding orgasms."
151
00:08:51,864 --> 00:08:55,243
Or whatever you called it.
"When Your Bae Won't Cum."
152
00:08:55,326 --> 00:08:58,037
So you think that we're stealing from you?
153
00:08:58,120 --> 00:09:03,251
I'll just say this. If imitation
is the highest form of flattery,
154
00:09:03,834 --> 00:09:06,254
well, then I'm very flattered. Okay?
155
00:09:07,630 --> 00:09:11,384
All righty. You have to keep this
between you and me for now.
156
00:09:12,176 --> 00:09:13,261
Oh, juicy.
157
00:09:13,844 --> 00:09:18,099
Starting next week, Dr. Greg's show
is going from two hours to one.
158
00:09:19,725 --> 00:09:21,477
- Be nice. Okay.
- Sorry.
159
00:09:21,561 --> 00:09:24,021
- It's just cut in half. Wow. Okay.
- Yeah.
160
00:09:24,689 --> 00:09:28,317
And that hour is going to another show.
161
00:09:30,570 --> 00:09:33,656
Your show! Yours! Stella's!
162
00:09:34,824 --> 00:09:39,370
- What? Really?
- It's great. It's the best news ever.
163
00:09:39,453 --> 00:09:40,496
Wow!
164
00:09:41,330 --> 00:09:42,540
Does Greg know yet?
165
00:09:42,623 --> 00:09:46,836
No. I like to give the good news first.
Warms me up for the bad news.
166
00:09:46,919 --> 00:09:48,759
- Do you want me to tell him?
- You don't mind?
167
00:09:48,838 --> 00:09:51,591
Do I mind telling Greg
I'm taking an hour from him?
168
00:09:52,508 --> 00:09:53,884
No, not at all.
169
00:09:54,969 --> 00:09:58,055
Hey, I'm Jayke. I'm from Texas.
I'm excited to be part of the show.
170
00:09:58,139 --> 00:10:02,268
I love clothes.
I also love music. I write it.
171
00:10:02,351 --> 00:10:05,646
All right. Cool.
That's great. Jayke.
172
00:10:06,188 --> 00:10:10,276
Now you just toss that ball.
Just toss it to somebody.
173
00:10:10,359 --> 00:10:12,570
Marina. I'm from Vancouver.
174
00:10:13,529 --> 00:10:16,907
I don't know.
Brooklyn's teaching me how to drive.
175
00:10:16,991 --> 00:10:19,410
- It's not going amazing.
- Yeah. You suck.
176
00:10:19,493 --> 00:10:21,454
I wouldn't talk. You ran over a cat.
177
00:10:21,537 --> 00:10:23,497
- Oh...
- What?
178
00:10:23,581 --> 00:10:25,958
Uh-oh.
179
00:10:27,793 --> 00:10:29,754
- Arya?
- I'm Arya.
180
00:10:29,837 --> 00:10:33,215
And as someone who has been
in Gus' classes before,
181
00:10:33,299 --> 00:10:36,093
I can tell you that
we do not do anything here.
182
00:10:36,177 --> 00:10:38,471
We just waste time
until we're needed on set.
183
00:10:39,180 --> 00:10:44,018
And since this is not a real school,
it does not matter if you try or not.
184
00:10:44,101 --> 00:10:46,312
- Not funny. Yeah.
- Damn.
185
00:10:47,063 --> 00:10:48,648
Good to know.
186
00:10:48,731 --> 00:10:51,692
Wait. Who has read the script
for the next episode?
187
00:10:51,776 --> 00:10:54,403
Yeah, I read it.
There's, like, flying and stuff, right?
188
00:10:54,487 --> 00:10:55,404
Bunch of wires.
189
00:10:55,488 --> 00:10:56,906
We all get to fly?
190
00:10:56,989 --> 00:10:59,533
Yeah, everyone gets to fly except Arya.
191
00:10:59,617 --> 00:11:02,495
Doesn't matter. I've done wires before.
It's a pain in the ass.
192
00:11:02,578 --> 00:11:05,373
I had to do it
three days in a row on Liberty Down.
193
00:11:05,456 --> 00:11:09,377
Very subtle name-drop
on the big movie you were in.
194
00:11:09,460 --> 00:11:10,586
Hey.
195
00:11:10,670 --> 00:11:13,756
"I'm Arya.
I had to do this movie Liberty Down.
196
00:11:13,839 --> 00:11:15,633
- God, it sucked."
- Okay, guys, all right.
197
00:11:15,716 --> 00:11:19,387
"I had to work with Brad. Bradley Cooper.
But he's really nice.
198
00:11:19,470 --> 00:11:21,931
He's, like, so cool.
We text all the time."
199
00:11:22,014 --> 00:11:26,268
Enough goofing around. I'm a goofball too,
but let's not be disrespectful.
200
00:11:26,352 --> 00:11:30,314
If all of our characters get to fly,
why doesn't Arya's?
201
00:11:30,398 --> 00:11:34,193
Susan said it's because
my character's still too young.
202
00:11:34,985 --> 00:11:38,114
She hasn't developed
all her "witch" powers.
203
00:11:38,197 --> 00:11:40,157
- That makes sense.
- Oh, my God...
204
00:11:40,241 --> 00:11:43,619
Okay. All right.
Let's leave Arya alone for a second
205
00:11:43,702 --> 00:11:46,205
and just jump into some math.
206
00:11:51,836 --> 00:11:53,587
Hey. Uh...
207
00:11:54,672 --> 00:11:58,509
- Truman said you wanted to see me.
- You're gonna wanna shut the door.
208
00:11:59,218 --> 00:12:02,888
Yeah. Okay. Sure.
209
00:12:05,141 --> 00:12:07,768
- Have a seat.
- Okay.
210
00:12:10,896 --> 00:12:13,023
What's going on?
211
00:12:14,442 --> 00:12:18,904
- They're cutting an hour from your show.
- Wait. Why? Who said?
212
00:12:20,281 --> 00:12:23,701
The bosses from Subzero in New York.
213
00:12:24,285 --> 00:12:27,371
There's no warning? I lose an hour?
Who's getting it?
214
00:12:27,455 --> 00:12:30,958
Okay. Here's where it gets awkward.
Me and Stella.
215
00:12:31,041 --> 00:12:34,128
- What? Fuck off now!
- Okay!
216
00:12:35,296 --> 00:12:36,839
Oh, my God.
217
00:12:38,299 --> 00:12:41,552
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
218
00:12:44,722 --> 00:12:46,265
Oh.
219
00:12:46,348 --> 00:12:48,809
- I get it.
- Get what?
220
00:12:49,477 --> 00:12:52,062
I knew this was gonna happen.
I saw all the signs.
221
00:12:52,146 --> 00:12:54,648
- It all started with the posters.
- The posters?
222
00:12:54,732 --> 00:12:58,694
My poster was the first thing you saw
when you came into the office.
223
00:12:58,777 --> 00:13:03,240
Then it was replaced by Stella's poster,
and now, it's next to the bathroom.
224
00:13:03,324 --> 00:13:05,659
Ten feet away from a fucking toilet!
225
00:13:05,743 --> 00:13:07,620
I think you're being paranoid.
226
00:13:08,204 --> 00:13:12,708
Congratulations, Mickey.
You have taken an hour away from me.
227
00:13:12,791 --> 00:13:15,294
- I didn't take your hour away.
- You didn't?
228
00:13:15,377 --> 00:13:17,588
No, your ratings
have been dropping for months.
229
00:13:17,671 --> 00:13:21,425
- I'm sorry! It's not my fault.
- See you later.
230
00:13:21,509 --> 00:13:24,094
You never listen to me!
I tried to tell you.
231
00:13:24,178 --> 00:13:26,597
You gotta switch it up.
No more canned calls.
232
00:13:26,680 --> 00:13:29,517
Then you'd go, "No, you get
on the phone and..."
233
00:13:29,600 --> 00:13:31,268
You win! You win!
234
00:13:31,352 --> 00:13:34,855
Have fun winning the rest
of your very short life
235
00:13:34,939 --> 00:13:38,692
after you relapse!
236
00:13:43,989 --> 00:13:45,866
That was amazing.
237
00:13:45,950 --> 00:13:47,952
On behalf of the office,
I wanna thank you.
238
00:13:48,536 --> 00:13:52,414
- I think he lost the rest of his hair.
- He did not take that well.
239
00:13:54,833 --> 00:13:56,293
Your energy's weird. I'm gonna go.
240
00:13:56,377 --> 00:13:58,003
- Okay.
- Okay.
241
00:14:00,923 --> 00:14:06,136
Uh-huh. Yeah. I agree. I agree 100%.
242
00:14:07,304 --> 00:14:10,599
I don't like that idea,
but I agree with the first thing you said.
243
00:14:10,683 --> 00:14:12,351
I mean, we can try it.
244
00:14:12,434 --> 00:14:14,674
If it doesn't work, we cut it. Right?
245
00:14:19,900 --> 00:14:24,071
Yeah. Okay. All right. Will do.
246
00:14:24,488 --> 00:14:25,488
Bye.
247
00:14:29,368 --> 00:14:30,786
What were we talking about?
248
00:14:30,870 --> 00:14:33,163
Oh! Right, right. Um...
249
00:14:33,247 --> 00:14:36,792
I need you to start coming in earlier
to teach. Like, six a.m.
250
00:14:37,793 --> 00:14:40,462
We have so many kids and have
to start front-loading our days.
251
00:14:41,046 --> 00:14:43,549
Yeah. No, I wanna make you happy.
252
00:14:43,632 --> 00:14:46,510
So, whatever I can do
to be of value to you...
253
00:14:46,594 --> 00:14:50,264
Your value is that you're a pushover
who doesn't get in my way.
254
00:14:50,347 --> 00:14:52,099
Don't fuck up your best quality.
255
00:14:53,601 --> 00:14:54,601
Okay.
256
00:14:54,643 --> 00:14:56,395
Can I borrow her for a second?
257
00:14:58,647 --> 00:14:59,857
All right.
258
00:15:06,780 --> 00:15:08,282
- Do you want this open...
- Closed.
259
00:15:11,660 --> 00:15:13,746
- Jesus.
- Jesus Christ.
260
00:15:13,829 --> 00:15:15,080
What the fuck?
261
00:15:15,164 --> 00:15:17,708
- He got me a gift. Headphones.
- What?
262
00:15:17,791 --> 00:15:19,585
Like it's our anniversary.
263
00:15:19,668 --> 00:15:21,629
- God, he triggers me.
- Yeah.
264
00:15:21,712 --> 00:15:23,047
Something about his face.
265
00:15:23,130 --> 00:15:27,384
For me, it's his voice.
He's just such a cloying, needy little...
266
00:15:32,973 --> 00:15:34,183
Hey.
267
00:15:35,976 --> 00:15:37,728
Tough first day, huh?
268
00:15:37,811 --> 00:15:40,689
You've had a bad day?
I'm stuck in this shithole.
269
00:15:40,773 --> 00:15:43,734
God, they won't let me do a voice
on Trolls 2.
270
00:15:44,652 --> 00:15:47,488
You know, Arya, just some friendly advice.
271
00:15:47,571 --> 00:15:50,574
You should be more grateful
for everything you got.
272
00:15:50,658 --> 00:15:53,202
I'm the asshole
for not appreciating my money?
273
00:15:53,285 --> 00:15:57,790
Jesus, have you seen the other kids?
I'm a parent's dream compared to them.
274
00:15:58,374 --> 00:16:00,934
In a month, they're all gonna be living
at Charlie Sheen's house.
275
00:16:01,669 --> 00:16:04,171
Pretty sweet setup. I'd take it.
276
00:16:04,254 --> 00:16:05,547
Whoa!
277
00:16:05,631 --> 00:16:08,509
Hey, honey. Sorry, I'm late.
They kept me at the gate.
278
00:16:08,592 --> 00:16:11,679
Oh... Cool new car.
279
00:16:11,762 --> 00:16:13,389
The studio gave it to her.
280
00:16:14,014 --> 00:16:16,558
They want her
to do the Liberty Down sequel.
281
00:16:16,642 --> 00:16:19,937
The movie hasn't come out yet,
and it's testing off the charts.
282
00:16:20,020 --> 00:16:21,981
But you're not old enough to drive.
283
00:16:22,064 --> 00:16:24,066
It's not like they'd give me a bike.
284
00:16:24,650 --> 00:16:28,028
Okay. Well, you have fun
in this dope new ride.
285
00:16:28,112 --> 00:16:30,864
Can't wait to see you behind the wheel
when you turn 16.
286
00:16:30,948 --> 00:16:32,574
I won't drive a two-year-old car.
287
00:16:32,658 --> 00:16:34,702
We'll donate it to Planned Parenthood.
288
00:16:34,785 --> 00:16:36,453
Buckle up, babe.
289
00:16:37,121 --> 00:16:38,497
Let's go.
290
00:16:39,540 --> 00:16:41,000
- Bye, Gus.
- Bye.
291
00:17:05,566 --> 00:17:09,236
♪ Party people
Your dreams have now been fulfilled ♪
292
00:17:09,319 --> 00:17:11,989
♪ Get your ass up, and let's get ill ♪
293
00:17:12,072 --> 00:17:14,116
♪ That's right, y'all
We're more than rough ♪
294
00:17:14,199 --> 00:17:15,576
♪ We callin' your bluff ♪
295
00:17:15,659 --> 00:17:19,538
- ♪ And when it comes to rhymes ♪
- ♪ Yo! ♪
296
00:17:19,621 --> 00:17:21,749
I recognize it's a little confusing
297
00:17:21,832 --> 00:17:24,512
for somebody to follow my filmography
because, say, you really think
298
00:17:24,543 --> 00:17:29,173
The Grinch or Willow is a blast
and a great fantasy movie or something,
299
00:17:29,256 --> 00:17:31,484
- how are you gonna feel about Frost/Nixon?
- Right.
300
00:17:47,399 --> 00:17:48,984
- Hi, guys!
- Hey, girl!
301
00:17:49,068 --> 00:17:51,904
- Hey. Aw.
- Hey!
302
00:17:51,987 --> 00:17:53,781
I'm so happy we're doing this.
303
00:17:53,864 --> 00:17:55,365
- Hi.
- Hi. Good to see you.
304
00:17:55,449 --> 00:17:58,994
Can't believe how fast I got here.
I thought it'd be forever,
305
00:17:59,078 --> 00:18:01,413
but today everything was a green light.
306
00:18:01,497 --> 00:18:03,248
It was like bing, bing, bing.
307
00:18:03,332 --> 00:18:07,002
We did the HOV lane, so...
308
00:18:07,086 --> 00:18:09,880
Honey, Jeff,
I'm not trying to embarrass you...
309
00:18:10,923 --> 00:18:11,965
But you're gonna.
310
00:18:12,549 --> 00:18:13,717
Why the shorts?
311
00:18:15,135 --> 00:18:16,637
We're playing sports.
312
00:18:16,720 --> 00:18:21,433
Let's just... Anytime we leave the house,
big boy pants. Just as a rule. Okay?
313
00:18:33,487 --> 00:18:38,158
Do you remember when people used to wear
bowling shoes out? Like it was a thing?
314
00:18:38,242 --> 00:18:41,495
Totally. I was always too scared
to steal bowling shoes.
315
00:18:41,578 --> 00:18:43,681
My thing was I used to steal meat.
316
00:18:43,705 --> 00:18:47,793
When I first met him,
I had a sausage stuffed in my leggings.
317
00:18:47,876 --> 00:18:49,086
- Hey!
- Hey!
318
00:18:49,169 --> 00:18:51,088
- Hi!
- Hi, Gus-Gus.
319
00:18:51,171 --> 00:18:54,049
- Hello. Hello. Hi.
- Hey, buddy.
320
00:18:54,133 --> 00:18:55,676
- Hello.
- Hey!
321
00:18:55,759 --> 00:18:58,428
Get that outta there. Come here.
322
00:18:58,512 --> 00:19:00,389
- Good to see you.
- Good to see you, too.
323
00:19:00,889 --> 00:19:01,890
Sorry I'm late.
324
00:19:01,974 --> 00:19:05,894
There was work and traffic...
I hope you weren't waiting for me.
325
00:19:05,978 --> 00:19:06,812
It's cool.
326
00:19:06,895 --> 00:19:08,397
- We weren't waiting.
- Good.
327
00:19:08,480 --> 00:19:10,566
- Should we do it? Let's bowl!
- Let's do it.
328
00:19:10,649 --> 00:19:12,151
- Get your shoes.
- My shoes!
329
00:19:12,234 --> 00:19:14,570
All right. You go, girl.
330
00:19:20,659 --> 00:19:21,827
What?
331
00:19:25,372 --> 00:19:28,834
What are you talking about?
332
00:19:28,917 --> 00:19:30,669
♪ Come on, think about it ♪
333
00:19:32,087 --> 00:19:36,216
♪ Sometimes
I hate that you know me so well ♪
334
00:19:36,300 --> 00:19:40,721
♪ Sometimes
I hate that you know me so well ♪
335
00:19:40,804 --> 00:19:44,349
♪ Some days
I wish that I wasn't myself ♪
336
00:19:44,892 --> 00:19:46,059
- ♪ No ♪
- ♪ No luck ♪
337
00:19:46,143 --> 00:19:48,854
- ♪ No ♪
- ♪ And I hate that you know me so well ♪
338
00:19:48,937 --> 00:19:53,650
♪ Sometimes
I hate that you know me so well ♪
339
00:19:53,734 --> 00:19:57,905
♪ Sometimes
I hate that you know me so well... ♪
340
00:19:57,988 --> 00:19:59,615
Whoo!
341
00:19:59,698 --> 00:20:01,783
Fuck you! Fuck you! I'm gonna do it!
342
00:20:01,867 --> 00:20:06,163
Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you! Yeah! Whoo!
343
00:20:06,747 --> 00:20:10,292
Syd! Thanks for asking us to hang.
This is so much fun.
344
00:20:10,375 --> 00:20:14,254
Oh, my God! Are you kidding me?
Thank you. You make us feel cool.
345
00:20:14,338 --> 00:20:17,799
It's mutually beneficial.
You make us feel like a grown-up couple.
346
00:20:17,883 --> 00:20:21,470
Oh, I know. Us on a couples' night
with a married couple?
347
00:20:21,553 --> 00:20:23,096
I think we're doing good.
348
00:20:23,180 --> 00:20:24,681
How long has it been now?
349
00:20:24,765 --> 00:20:27,517
What has it been? Like, five, six months.
350
00:20:27,601 --> 00:20:30,270
I don't know.
I've been sober for three, so...
351
00:20:30,354 --> 00:20:32,856
We've known each other five or six months.
352
00:20:32,940 --> 00:20:36,109
We've been boyfriend-girlfriend
for a couple months.
353
00:20:36,193 --> 00:20:37,861
So you're in the best part.
354
00:20:38,695 --> 00:20:43,659
Everybody knows that the best part
of any relationship is six months in,
355
00:20:43,742 --> 00:20:48,205
because then you're not freaked out
because you know you like each other.
356
00:20:48,288 --> 00:20:50,958
everything's still new,
ad the sex is really hot.
357
00:20:51,041 --> 00:20:55,045
I would say that we're in the part
right before the best part.
358
00:20:55,128 --> 00:20:58,215
- Which is maybe the best part.
- Mmm.
359
00:20:58,298 --> 00:21:00,342
I wanna punch you guys so hard
in the face.
360
00:21:01,677 --> 00:21:03,512
- Eight pins, guys.
- What?
361
00:21:03,595 --> 00:21:04,471
Eight pins.
362
00:21:04,554 --> 00:21:06,014
- You bowled?
- My turn.
363
00:21:06,098 --> 00:21:07,391
Hey, I need to go.
364
00:21:09,309 --> 00:21:11,019
Oh! Mickey, I forgot to tell you.
365
00:21:11,103 --> 00:21:13,522
I listened to Stella's show,
and it was awesome!
366
00:21:13,605 --> 00:21:14,815
Thank you, sweetie.
367
00:21:14,898 --> 00:21:18,902
Yeah, did you guys know?
Mickey's killing it at work. Big time.
368
00:21:18,986 --> 00:21:20,445
Good for you!
369
00:21:20,529 --> 00:21:24,032
Thanks. Yeah, it's funny
how things are weirdly working out.
370
00:21:24,116 --> 00:21:25,909
I thought it was cool to fail.
371
00:21:25,993 --> 00:21:29,871
People who tried at work were losers,
but I am now. I don't care.
372
00:21:29,955 --> 00:21:33,125
This is the most success I've had,
and I love my job.
373
00:21:33,208 --> 00:21:36,336
Congratulations on being a big loser.
374
00:21:38,797 --> 00:21:40,674
All right!
375
00:21:40,757 --> 00:21:42,175
- Okay.
- Hey!
376
00:21:44,428 --> 00:21:45,554
Gus, how's work?
377
00:21:46,888 --> 00:21:51,226
- Great! Work's... Yeah, it's really great.
- Cool.
378
00:21:52,894 --> 00:21:55,147
Oh, my God! I got a strike!
379
00:21:55,230 --> 00:21:57,357
- Fuck, yeah! Whoo!
- What?
380
00:22:02,362 --> 00:22:05,741
So, Mickey says that you've been
writing some screenplays?
381
00:22:05,824 --> 00:22:09,244
Yeah, I'm tryin'. It's a little tough
to break in, but I try.
382
00:22:09,328 --> 00:22:10,662
What's one of your faves?
383
00:22:10,746 --> 00:22:14,499
I guess the one I just wrote, yeah.
The idea was...
384
00:22:14,583 --> 00:22:17,336
Well, I really like erotic thrillers,
385
00:22:17,419 --> 00:22:19,588
but one thing
that's a bummer about those
386
00:22:19,671 --> 00:22:24,134
is that they're usually racist
or sexist or just problematic.
387
00:22:24,217 --> 00:22:25,594
So what I'd like to do
388
00:22:25,677 --> 00:22:29,264
is try to bring the erotic thriller
into a new era.
389
00:22:29,347 --> 00:22:30,640
- It's cool, Gus.
- Yeah.
390
00:22:37,689 --> 00:22:41,026
Cruikshank. This is Evan.
I need you to call me back pronto.
391
00:22:41,109 --> 00:22:43,904
As in not two hours from now.
Got it? Thank you.
392
00:22:46,448 --> 00:22:47,449
It's your turn, Gus.
393
00:22:48,784 --> 00:22:52,120
- It's your turn.
- Oh. Yeah. Great.
394
00:22:52,204 --> 00:22:53,789
Get 'em, Gus!
395
00:22:56,750 --> 00:22:58,627
Knock those pins! Yeah!
396
00:23:02,380 --> 00:23:03,298
Whoa!
397
00:23:03,381 --> 00:23:05,550
- Yes! Yes!
- Whoa!
398
00:23:05,634 --> 00:23:07,552
Fuck, yes!
399
00:23:07,636 --> 00:23:10,138
- All right.
- We should do this again sometime.
400
00:23:10,222 --> 00:23:11,240
- Definitely.
- That was fun.
401
00:23:11,264 --> 00:23:12,265
Okay. All right.
402
00:23:12,349 --> 00:23:14,392
- Okay.
- See you at the house?
403
00:23:14,476 --> 00:23:16,061
- I'll be right behind you.
- Bye!
404
00:23:16,144 --> 00:23:17,144
I'll call you.
405
00:23:27,614 --> 00:23:30,367
Um, wow.
Thanks for calling me back late, dude.
406
00:23:30,450 --> 00:23:31,535
Yeah, sure.
407
00:23:32,160 --> 00:23:36,498
I know you're supposed to have the day off
tomorrow, but that plan is fucked.
408
00:23:36,581 --> 00:23:39,251
We need you to come in
for the six a.m. classes.
409
00:23:39,334 --> 00:23:40,961
Is that gonna be a problem?
410
00:23:41,044 --> 00:23:42,504
Nope. Totally cool.
411
00:23:42,587 --> 00:23:44,631
- Thank you.
- Bye-bye!
412
00:23:44,714 --> 00:23:46,133
Get your beauty rest.
413
00:23:46,216 --> 00:23:49,553
Fucking piece of shit. Fuckhead.
414
00:24:16,663 --> 00:24:18,957
Asshole! Look around you!
415
00:24:20,750 --> 00:24:24,504
Was he texting?
Motherfucker was texting! Fuck!
416
00:24:27,507 --> 00:24:29,301
Hi, Grandpa.
417
00:24:37,100 --> 00:24:39,311
- ♪ Oh, shit ♪
- ♪ Oh, shit ♪
418
00:24:39,394 --> 00:24:41,062
♪ Oh, shit ♪
419
00:24:41,771 --> 00:24:44,065
- ♪ Oh, shit ♪
- ♪ No! ♪
420
00:24:44,149 --> 00:24:45,567
♪ Oh, shit ♪
421
00:24:45,650 --> 00:24:48,653
♪ Oh! Little Sally Walker
Sittin' in a saucer ♪
422
00:24:48,737 --> 00:24:50,697
♪ Oh, how I tossed that ass up ♪
423
00:24:50,780 --> 00:24:52,967
♪ Like a mission in the woods
Woody Woodpecker would... ♪
424
00:24:52,991 --> 00:24:53,991
Dipshit!
425
00:24:55,076 --> 00:24:57,621
Dipshit, roll down your window!
426
00:24:59,039 --> 00:25:00,081
What's the problem?
427
00:25:00,665 --> 00:25:03,001
You cut me off!
You were looking in your phone!
428
00:25:03,084 --> 00:25:05,670
I glanced at my phone.
My wife texted me.
429
00:25:05,754 --> 00:25:08,465
That was not a glance!
You were looking at it!
430
00:25:08,548 --> 00:25:11,259
I watched you through my window
staring at it!
431
00:25:11,343 --> 00:25:12,886
Fuck off, man!
432
00:25:12,969 --> 00:25:16,139
You realize you're not alone
on this planet, right?
433
00:25:16,223 --> 00:25:19,768
You realize you share this planet
with other fucking human beings.
434
00:25:19,851 --> 00:25:21,895
You should be considerate
of other fucking...
435
00:25:21,978 --> 00:25:25,607
You're oblivious! Don't turn away!
Don't roll up that window!
436
00:25:25,690 --> 00:25:29,277
Don't you
fucking roll that window...
437
00:25:29,361 --> 00:25:32,864
Roll down that window!
Roll back down that fucking window!
438
00:25:32,948 --> 00:25:35,075
I'll fuck your wife!
439
00:25:42,207 --> 00:25:44,251
♪ One fine summertime Sunday evening ♪
440
00:25:44,334 --> 00:25:46,711
♪ Crenshaw Blvd. was in full swing ♪
441
00:25:46,795 --> 00:25:49,256
♪ Perfect example
Of how looks can be deceiving ♪
442
00:25:49,339 --> 00:25:51,675
♪ Rolled up to what I thought was
A pretty young thing ♪
443
00:25:51,800 --> 00:25:53,677
♪ Rollin' in a purple Samurai Suzuki ♪
444
00:25:53,760 --> 00:25:55,680
♪ Dookie braids was an aid
To her sex appeal... ♪
445
00:25:57,180 --> 00:25:58,180
Fuck!
446
00:25:59,891 --> 00:26:00,892
Ah!
447
00:26:11,194 --> 00:26:13,780
- Moron, get out of the fucking road!
- What?
448
00:26:14,322 --> 00:26:17,784
Oh, fuck. Oh, God.
449
00:26:40,890 --> 00:26:42,434
Fuck.
450
00:26:48,231 --> 00:26:49,357
Hey.
451
00:26:49,441 --> 00:26:54,696
- Where have you been? What took so long?
- I just stopped off at the store.
452
00:26:56,031 --> 00:26:57,991
Little traffic, so...
453
00:26:58,700 --> 00:26:59,743
But...
454
00:27:01,953 --> 00:27:03,455
Got you some ice cream.
455
00:27:04,539 --> 00:27:08,376
- Got a little ice cream for my Micks.
- Aw.
456
00:27:08,460 --> 00:27:12,005
- You're the best.
- No, I'm not.
457
00:27:18,678 --> 00:27:20,180
Mmm...
458
00:27:20,263 --> 00:27:21,640
I went to the grocery store,
459
00:27:21,723 --> 00:27:23,808
and they didn't have
the mint chocolate ice cream,
460
00:27:23,892 --> 00:27:26,269
so I went to another grocery store.
461
00:27:26,353 --> 00:27:28,605
And on the way, there was traffic
462
00:27:28,688 --> 00:27:32,233
at one of those sobriety
checkpoint things...
463
00:27:32,317 --> 00:27:33,401
I'm familiar.
464
00:27:33,485 --> 00:27:37,322
Yeah, then there was construction,
and I was trying to get here,
465
00:27:37,405 --> 00:27:41,284
and they rerouted me
because my regular route I couldn't do,
466
00:27:41,368 --> 00:27:45,080
and it was one
of those frustrating nights.
36387
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof