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1
00:00:00,001 --> 00:00:03,959
Quite the dark horse,
aren't you, Nina? Is it serious?
2
00:00:03,960 --> 00:00:06,519
And he said, "We're friends."
3
00:00:06,520 --> 00:00:08,279
Not everyone has to like you.
4
00:00:08,280 --> 00:00:10,199
Well, I like you, Dr MacArthur.
5
00:00:10,200 --> 00:00:12,599
I think he wants to boof you
back to the Jurassic era.
6
00:00:12,600 --> 00:00:14,359
Are you not having fun
at your baby drenching?
7
00:00:14,360 --> 00:00:16,839
You're not going to have
an easy time, darling!
8
00:00:16,840 --> 00:00:19,199
If I hear about another
ripped fanny, I'm going to pass out.
9
00:00:19,200 --> 00:00:22,679
Lee is playing in an open mic night,
and he asked me to go.
10
00:00:22,680 --> 00:00:23,799
You came!
11
00:00:23,800 --> 00:00:25,599
Friends turn up for each other.
12
00:00:25,600 --> 00:00:26,639
Yeah...
13
00:00:26,640 --> 00:00:29,079
- FALSETTO:
- It doesn't matter what you do...
14
00:00:29,080 --> 00:00:32,479
It's not a love triangle. It is
a mild-feelings triangle at most.
15
00:00:32,480 --> 00:00:34,399
As long as what you do
is true...
16
00:00:34,400 --> 00:00:35,520
Shots, please.
17
00:00:36,011 --> 00:00:39,279
- Tequila slammers!
- GIRLS' NIGHT!
18
00:00:39,280 --> 00:00:40,719
This one is for you.
19
00:00:40,720 --> 00:00:42,839
Let's find out
who wants to be more than friends.
20
00:00:42,840 --> 00:00:45,550
{\an8}SLURRING: I'm just putting out
my feelers, Bo.
21
00:00:48,480 --> 00:00:49,640
What have I done?!
22
00:00:50,720 --> 00:00:51,839
What did you do?!
23
00:00:51,840 --> 00:00:53,719
I've done something terrible.
24
00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:55,879
If it's murder,
we need to act quick, Nina.
25
00:00:55,880 --> 00:00:57,039
No body, no crime.
26
00:00:57,040 --> 00:00:58,999
Evie, it's so much worse!
27
00:00:59,000 --> 00:01:01,639
You know how when I get stressed...
28
00:01:01,640 --> 00:01:03,479
..I do creative writing?
29
00:01:03,480 --> 00:01:06,919
Smut, Nina. You write smut.
Let's not beat about the bush.
30
00:01:06,920 --> 00:01:09,119
- BOTH:
- GO AWAY!
31
00:01:09,120 --> 00:01:14,320
Last night, when I got drunk,
which made me stupid...
32
00:01:15,520 --> 00:01:18,879
..I sent Lee and Clayton...
33
00:01:18,880 --> 00:01:22,199
..Romancing The Bone:
The Tina MacDonald Chronicles.
34
00:01:22,200 --> 00:01:25,119
You sent Romancing The Bone:
The Tina MacDonald Chronicles?!
35
00:01:25,120 --> 00:01:26,519
Stop shouting!
36
00:01:26,520 --> 00:01:29,999
Wait, did you send them the Wattpad
link or did you send them PDF?
37
00:01:30,000 --> 00:01:32,319
I sent a PDF! I'm not insane!
38
00:01:32,320 --> 00:01:33,399
This is good.
39
00:01:33,400 --> 00:01:36,839
They're not going to read
the Harry Potter fan fiction.
40
00:01:36,840 --> 00:01:38,279
This is your fault.
41
00:01:38,280 --> 00:01:40,719
You were the one who was all
"put out your feelers"!
42
00:01:40,720 --> 00:01:42,159
Feelers, Nina!
43
00:01:42,160 --> 00:01:44,519
A bit of flirting, bat your eyelids,
touch their forearms!
44
00:01:44,520 --> 00:01:46,919
Don't send them your anthology
of porn stories!
45
00:01:46,920 --> 00:01:49,119
I'M AUTISTIC -
I DON'T KNOW WHAT FEELERS ARE!
46
00:01:49,120 --> 00:01:50,170
Ugh!
47
00:02:01,600 --> 00:02:04,800
WHIRRING
48
00:02:07,520 --> 00:02:09,039
GOOD MORNING, CHILDREN!
49
00:02:09,040 --> 00:02:11,399
- Morning...
- Stop shouting!
50
00:02:11,400 --> 00:02:12,480
Ugh...
51
00:02:20,320 --> 00:02:22,000
NINA BURPS
52
00:02:23,400 --> 00:02:26,719
Mm. Drink it, it's like medicine.
53
00:02:26,720 --> 00:02:27,959
Fucking savages!
54
00:02:27,960 --> 00:02:29,039
I'm dying.
55
00:02:29,040 --> 00:02:30,239
Lurch, you going to vomit?
56
00:02:30,240 --> 00:02:33,239
No, she's got the fear, cos she
sent her anthology of smutty stories
57
00:02:33,240 --> 00:02:35,519
to the American
and the Coffee Man last night.
58
00:02:35,520 --> 00:02:37,919
I always thought you
should call it Jurassic Pork.
59
00:02:37,920 --> 00:02:42,159
That wouldn't make any sense,
because Tina handles human bones.
60
00:02:42,160 --> 00:02:43,210
Yeah, she does.
61
00:02:45,000 --> 00:02:46,559
What?
62
00:02:46,560 --> 00:02:47,719
Who told Bo?!
63
00:02:47,720 --> 00:02:49,399
No vaping in the kitchen!
64
00:02:49,400 --> 00:02:51,600
NINA COUGHS
65
00:02:49,400 --> 00:02:51,599
Evie!
66
00:02:51,600 --> 00:02:52,799
Oh, he was homesick at uni.
67
00:02:52,800 --> 00:02:54,399
I thought it would cheer him up!
I'm sorry.
68
00:02:54,400 --> 00:02:55,839
Oh, God.
69
00:02:55,840 --> 00:02:56,999
I'm late.
70
00:02:57,000 --> 00:02:58,719
I've never been late for work.
71
00:02:58,720 --> 00:03:01,079
Shane's going to reprimand me
for being hungover
72
00:03:01,080 --> 00:03:03,479
and he's going to tell me off
for sending inappropriate emails.
73
00:03:03,480 --> 00:03:06,039
I really like the one where
you fall in love with the falconer.
74
00:03:06,040 --> 00:03:09,319
GROWLING: Romancing The Bone
is not about me!
75
00:03:09,320 --> 00:03:10,639
Pfft! Sure thing, babes.
76
00:03:10,640 --> 00:03:14,879
Tina is a fictitious, sexually
empowered forensic anthropologist
77
00:03:14,880 --> 00:03:16,079
from the 1800s.
78
00:03:16,080 --> 00:03:20,559
I'm Nina, palaeontologist
from the present day,
79
00:03:20,560 --> 00:03:23,080
who's also...sexually liberated.
80
00:03:24,320 --> 00:03:26,480
- Hugely different, Evie.
Massively! - OK.
81
00:03:27,520 --> 00:03:30,399
I need to find a hacker! Nesh...
82
00:03:30,400 --> 00:03:33,319
- Ranesh!
- Hmm? - Do you know anybody
83
00:03:33,320 --> 00:03:35,639
I'm in the dark web right now, Nina.
84
00:03:35,640 --> 00:03:37,119
Dark web of tequila slammers.
85
00:03:37,120 --> 00:03:39,359
Evie, can I tell them you wrote it?
86
00:03:39,360 --> 00:03:42,039
I think me writing smut about you
is way weirder.
87
00:03:42,040 --> 00:03:44,999
Why is nobody
trying to help me fix this?
88
00:03:45,000 --> 00:03:48,439
Maybe the question, Nina,
isn't how you fix this, but...
89
00:03:48,440 --> 00:03:49,639
..but why you sent it?
90
00:03:49,640 --> 00:03:52,679
I sent it, Ranesh,
because drunk Nina thought
91
00:03:52,680 --> 00:03:55,479
it would be a good experiment
to work out
92
00:03:55,480 --> 00:03:58,159
which one of the men liked me,
based off of my writings.
93
00:03:58,160 --> 00:04:00,879
Well, then, you're going to have to
go and gather your results.
94
00:04:00,880 --> 00:04:02,239
I don't want to.
95
00:04:02,240 --> 00:04:06,119
Sorry, Shagrid,
the die hath been cast.
96
00:04:06,120 --> 00:04:09,839
TIME TO FACE THE MUSIC!
97
00:04:09,840 --> 00:04:13,199
This is why we should never
do science whilst drunk, Nina.
98
00:04:13,200 --> 00:04:15,359
Well, it will certainly
be interesting,
99
00:04:15,360 --> 00:04:19,039
- considering they're both in it.
- No, they're not. - Yes, they are!
100
00:04:19,040 --> 00:04:21,879
Lee is Lawrence, the sugar merchant,
101
00:04:21,880 --> 00:04:24,759
and Clay is the new smarmy guy
that Tina snogs
102
00:04:24,760 --> 00:04:26,399
when she's working away in Borneo!
103
00:04:26,400 --> 00:04:28,679
Did you snog Clay
on the Isle of Wight?
104
00:04:28,680 --> 00:04:29,879
No!
105
00:04:29,880 --> 00:04:32,119
But you wanted to, didn't you?
106
00:04:32,120 --> 00:04:35,039
- No!
- But your subconscious wanted you to.
107
00:04:35,040 --> 00:04:37,239
GROWLING: I don't know
what my subconscious wanted, Evie -
108
00:04:37,240 --> 00:04:39,359
that's why it's called
a SUB-conscious!
109
00:04:39,360 --> 00:04:40,559
QUIETLY: I'm sorry.
110
00:04:40,560 --> 00:04:44,119
I just... I write my stories
so that I can...
111
00:04:44,120 --> 00:04:45,959
SHE RETCHES
112
00:04:45,960 --> 00:04:47,799
I'm fine.
113
00:04:47,800 --> 00:04:50,999
I write my stories
so that I can try on different hats
114
00:04:51,000 --> 00:04:54,039
without, you know...
trying on actual hats.
115
00:04:54,040 --> 00:04:55,679
Does that make sense?
116
00:04:55,680 --> 00:04:56,999
Oh, I'm going to be late.
117
00:04:57,000 --> 00:04:59,719
Go, go! Find out
what hat fits your big heid.
118
00:04:59,720 --> 00:05:01,879
Come on,
I'll give you a lift to work.
119
00:05:01,880 --> 00:05:04,599
You'll have to excuse the smell of
the garlic mayo and sick -
120
00:05:04,600 --> 00:05:07,719
I had three heathens
in my car last night.
121
00:05:07,720 --> 00:05:11,559
- INCREASINGLY LOUD:
- We'll pick you up some electrolytes on the way!
122
00:05:11,560 --> 00:05:13,399
Oh, shit...
123
00:05:13,400 --> 00:05:15,359
Evie, can I take these?
124
00:05:15,360 --> 00:05:19,160
- I'm not going to eat them, I'm just
going to roll them on my face. - Yeah.
125
00:05:28,000 --> 00:05:29,159
How you feeling?
126
00:05:29,160 --> 00:05:31,799
QUICKLY: Good. Good. Great. I'm
good. I'm good. I'm great. I'm fine.
127
00:05:31,800 --> 00:05:33,440
That's...enough of that.
128
00:05:33,441 --> 00:05:35,759
So what's the plan, Batman?
129
00:05:35,760 --> 00:05:38,159
Probably try and delete the emails
before they read them,
130
00:05:38,160 --> 00:05:39,919
and, if that fails,
then I'm just going to say
131
00:05:39,920 --> 00:05:41,479
I was possessed by a horny ghost.
132
00:05:41,480 --> 00:05:43,999
I don't know what I'm doing, Bo -
I'm raw-dogging life.
133
00:05:44,000 --> 00:05:46,439
I don't know why people do this.
You know, just, like, make mistakes
134
00:05:46,440 --> 00:05:48,279
and then deal with the consequences?
That's mad!
135
00:05:48,280 --> 00:05:50,719
You can never drink again. It makes
you stupider than the normals.
136
00:05:50,720 --> 00:05:53,079
More stupid, Bo. Not stupider.
137
00:05:53,080 --> 00:05:54,130
There she is.
138
00:05:56,320 --> 00:05:57,480
Seat belt.
139
00:06:02,520 --> 00:06:05,440
SHE TAKES A DEEP BREATH
140
00:06:12,280 --> 00:06:15,159
Hello, Dr MacArthur.
141
00:06:15,160 --> 00:06:17,599
Hello, coffee vendor Lee...
142
00:06:17,600 --> 00:06:19,599
Feeling a little worse for wear,
are we?
143
00:06:19,600 --> 00:06:20,760
- Yep.
- Heh.
144
00:06:22,240 --> 00:06:23,919
QUIETLY: OK.
145
00:06:23,920 --> 00:06:25,679
Did you get any emails last night?
146
00:06:25,680 --> 00:06:27,679
Och, not on this bad boy.
147
00:06:27,680 --> 00:06:29,839
Finally got a replacement phone.
148
00:06:29,840 --> 00:06:31,919
- Oh, it's old!
- Yeah.
149
00:06:31,920 --> 00:06:33,759
Well, I thought
since the last one exploded,
150
00:06:33,760 --> 00:06:36,159
maybe it was time to have
a bit of a digital detox.
151
00:06:36,160 --> 00:06:39,319
You know, cut down on the old, er...
doom scrolling.
152
00:06:39,320 --> 00:06:40,759
And if I need to check my emails,
153
00:06:40,760 --> 00:06:42,039
I've got my tablet.
154
00:06:42,040 --> 00:06:44,119
Plus, this one's got Snake.
155
00:06:44,120 --> 00:06:45,759
Do you want to try and beat
my top score?
156
00:06:45,760 --> 00:06:48,679
- No.
- No? - No-no, thank you.
157
00:06:48,680 --> 00:06:50,079
Oh.
158
00:06:50,080 --> 00:06:52,639
Er...so, what were you saying?
About emails?
159
00:06:52,640 --> 00:06:57,679
Just, um, asking if you got
any-any unexpected emails?
160
00:06:57,680 --> 00:06:58,959
Like what?
161
00:06:58,960 --> 00:07:02,719
Like, um, oh...
the-the head of the museum.
162
00:07:02,720 --> 00:07:04,159
He-he sent an email last night
163
00:07:04,160 --> 00:07:08,359
about how people were
taking drugs in the museum and...
164
00:07:08,360 --> 00:07:09,919
..the police are coming.
165
00:07:09,920 --> 00:07:12,799
Er, an inspector shall call
forthwith.
166
00:07:12,800 --> 00:07:14,639
- Huh?
- It's-it's mad.
167
00:07:14,640 --> 00:07:15,959
- Well, I can check...
- No!
168
00:07:15,960 --> 00:07:18,279
No, no, no, no,
cos you don't work at the museum,
169
00:07:18,280 --> 00:07:21,599
so why would you get
museum emails?
170
00:07:21,600 --> 00:07:22,879
BEEPING
171
00:07:22,880 --> 00:07:25,039
Ah, balls!
I haven't changed the coffee.
172
00:07:25,040 --> 00:07:27,079
Can you, um...hold the fort?
173
00:07:27,080 --> 00:07:28,320
Fort held.
174
00:07:31,000 --> 00:07:32,879
SHE LAUGHS NERVOUSLY
175
00:07:32,880 --> 00:07:35,239
HISSING: Declan! Declan!
176
00:07:35,240 --> 00:07:38,839
- What's the problem?
- Last night, I got sauced
177
00:07:38,840 --> 00:07:41,959
and I sent an inappropriate email
to Lee and I need to...
178
00:07:41,960 --> 00:07:44,199
I need to go steal his tablet
to delete the email
179
00:07:44,200 --> 00:07:46,479
- and you need to distract him
while I do that, OK? - You...
180
00:07:46,480 --> 00:07:50,399
Just improvise! Raw-dog it!
181
00:07:50,400 --> 00:07:52,999
Hey, Declan.
182
00:07:53,000 --> 00:07:55,919
Oh, argh! Aargh!
183
00:07:55,920 --> 00:07:59,119
- Myocardial infarction!
- Oh! - Oh, God!
184
00:07:59,120 --> 00:08:02,159
Oh, God, oh, oh! Oh, OK.
185
00:08:02,160 --> 00:08:05,519
- OK, OK, there's a chair there,
then I'll get you help. - Ah...
186
00:08:05,520 --> 00:08:06,639
DECLAN PANTS
187
00:08:06,640 --> 00:08:09,039
- Are you OK?
- Argh! - Oh...oh!
188
00:08:09,040 --> 00:08:12,119
Er, I-I don't know CPR.
189
00:08:12,120 --> 00:08:14,359
I'm calling 999. Nina!
190
00:08:14,360 --> 00:08:16,079
Ca-caw!
191
00:08:16,080 --> 00:08:17,719
Oh! Er...
192
00:08:17,720 --> 00:08:20,070
I think it's just
a bit of heartburn, actually.
193
00:08:24,640 --> 00:08:26,319
Er, y-your coffee?
194
00:08:26,320 --> 00:08:27,679
Oh, aye.
195
00:08:27,680 --> 00:08:30,199
Better not, I might shit myself.
196
00:08:30,200 --> 00:08:31,440
Why did I say that?!
197
00:08:33,680 --> 00:08:34,730
Bye!
198
00:08:39,560 --> 00:08:41,519
Morning, sunshine.
199
00:08:41,520 --> 00:08:43,719
And you said the Scots
could handle their drink.
200
00:08:43,720 --> 00:08:46,319
The going in is fine, it's the
coming back out that's the problem.
201
00:08:46,320 --> 00:08:49,119
He's not supposed to be here.
He's front of house.
202
00:08:49,120 --> 00:08:51,839
Declan's right - you're not supposed
to be here. You're front of house.
203
00:08:51,840 --> 00:08:54,759
I got a meeting with Shane
about the big fundraiser day.
204
00:08:54,760 --> 00:08:57,439
He needs my measurements
for a costume.
205
00:08:57,440 --> 00:08:58,999
Feet off my desk.
206
00:08:59,000 --> 00:09:01,839
How are you so chipper? You were
steaming when I left you last night.
207
00:09:01,840 --> 00:09:05,199
I took a shower, ran off the booze,
came back and...
208
00:09:05,200 --> 00:09:07,559
..guess what I found on my laptop.
209
00:09:07,560 --> 00:09:08,999
Deportation papers?
210
00:09:09,000 --> 00:09:12,559
No, no, no, it wasn't that.
It was an email...
211
00:09:12,560 --> 00:09:15,399
- SCOTTISH ACCENT:
- ..from my favourite Scottish lassie.
212
00:09:15,400 --> 00:09:18,359
- Did you read it?
- Only the title. Haven't had time.
213
00:09:18,360 --> 00:09:20,919
I've been saving it for later.
Looks fascinating.
214
00:09:20,920 --> 00:09:21,999
- Hey, Pheebs.
- Hi.
215
00:09:22,000 --> 00:09:23,879
Please delete it.
216
00:09:23,880 --> 00:09:24,999
I don't know.
217
00:09:25,000 --> 00:09:28,039
You know, you once told me
it's rude to take back gifts.
218
00:09:28,040 --> 00:09:30,159
But this wasn't a gift,
this was a mistake.
219
00:09:30,160 --> 00:09:32,479
Mm. I'll delete it
if you give me something.
220
00:09:32,480 --> 00:09:34,359
Oh, I'll give you
me not punching you in the windpipe.
221
00:09:34,360 --> 00:09:35,639
How about that, big American boy?
222
00:09:35,640 --> 00:09:38,000
Always tempting me with a good time,
Scotland.
223
00:09:39,560 --> 00:09:40,880
Please delete it.
224
00:09:43,640 --> 00:09:44,799
I'll think about it.
225
00:09:44,800 --> 00:09:45,850
Ready for me?
226
00:09:47,040 --> 00:09:48,200
I was born ready.
227
00:09:54,880 --> 00:09:57,400
Oh!
228
00:10:00,200 --> 00:10:01,479
TOUCHPAD KEYS TAP
229
00:10:01,480 --> 00:10:03,199
BUZZER
230
00:10:03,200 --> 00:10:04,519
NINA SIGHS
231
00:10:04,520 --> 00:10:06,999
Have you tried
the Battle of Hastings?
232
00:10:07,000 --> 00:10:10,199
I've narrowed the numbers down
to 1, 3, 7 and 9,
233
00:10:10,200 --> 00:10:13,559
based off of fingerprint grease,
but I don't know in which order.
234
00:10:13,560 --> 00:10:18,719
1973 - the end of the US
involvement in the Vietnam War.
235
00:10:18,720 --> 00:10:23,399
1793 - the French declare war
against Great Britain.
236
00:10:23,400 --> 00:10:26,879
1739 - the War of Jenkins' Ear.
237
00:10:26,880 --> 00:10:28,600
- I...
- 1397...
238
00:10:31,080 --> 00:10:32,759
I can't think of a war.
239
00:10:32,760 --> 00:10:34,759
Declan, I don't think
it's going to be a war.
240
00:10:34,760 --> 00:10:35,799
But thank you.
241
00:10:35,800 --> 00:10:37,719
I mean, some great ideas
for the fundraiser.
242
00:10:37,720 --> 00:10:39,839
- KEYPAD TAPS AND BUZZER
- I love your big American energy.
243
00:10:39,840 --> 00:10:41,919
- Thanks, Shane.
- I'll see you soon.
244
00:10:41,920 --> 00:10:43,719
Where are you going?
245
00:10:43,720 --> 00:10:45,960
- I'm going to go read my emails.
- No...
246
00:10:48,760 --> 00:10:50,160
SHE CLEARS HER THROAT
247
00:10:51,320 --> 00:10:52,820
WHISPERING: What do you want?
248
00:10:54,960 --> 00:10:56,079
"Want"?
249
00:10:56,080 --> 00:10:58,719
What do you want
to delete the email?
250
00:10:58,720 --> 00:11:00,839
Yeah, I'm feeling homesick.
251
00:11:00,840 --> 00:11:03,679
Aw. Shall I run to the break room
and fetch you my teabags
252
00:11:03,680 --> 00:11:05,439
so you can run down
to the River Kelvin
253
00:11:05,440 --> 00:11:06,639
and chuck them in, in protest?
254
00:11:06,640 --> 00:11:09,000
Nah, no, that won't do.
I'm thinking...
255
00:11:11,760 --> 00:11:14,359
- Sing it to me.
- No. Mm-mm.
256
00:11:14,360 --> 00:11:16,199
Look, you said - and I quote...
257
00:11:16,200 --> 00:11:18,199
- SCOTTISH ACCENT:
- .."It's my favourite national anthem"
258
00:11:18,200 --> 00:11:19,399
Ugh... I do not sound like that!
259
00:11:19,400 --> 00:11:20,479
Totally do.
260
00:11:20,480 --> 00:11:22,359
And, yes, it is
my favourite national anthem.
261
00:11:22,360 --> 00:11:23,639
So sing it to me! Just this...
262
00:11:23,640 --> 00:11:25,959
OK... Look, just give me
a couple of bars
263
00:11:25,960 --> 00:11:28,879
and I'll delete the email,
I promise.
264
00:11:28,880 --> 00:11:30,040
Grr... Fine!
265
00:11:31,120 --> 00:11:32,520
Whoa!
266
00:11:37,160 --> 00:11:40,479
Stand there and don't make
eye contact with me.
267
00:11:40,480 --> 00:11:41,719
Yes, ma'am.
268
00:11:41,720 --> 00:11:42,840
SHE CLEARS HER THROAT
269
00:11:47,640 --> 00:11:51,599
Oh, say can you see...
270
00:11:51,600 --> 00:11:54,400
SIRENS WAIL
271
00:11:51,600 --> 00:11:54,399
By the dawn's early light
272
00:11:54,400 --> 00:11:55,999
TRAIN RUMBLES, HORN HONKS
273
00:11:56,000 --> 00:11:59,439
What so proudly we hailed...
PNEUMATIC DRILL CLATTERS
274
00:11:59,440 --> 00:12:04,040
And the home of the brave?
275
00:12:05,320 --> 00:12:06,719
- Yes! Come on!
- Shh!
276
00:12:06,720 --> 00:12:08,520
Delete. The. Email. Now.
277
00:12:11,440 --> 00:12:12,839
PHONE BEEPS
278
00:12:12,840 --> 00:12:14,359
As you wish.
279
00:12:14,360 --> 00:12:16,079
Thank you.
280
00:12:16,080 --> 00:12:18,399
Pleasure doing business with you.
281
00:12:18,400 --> 00:12:19,759
Not much point, though.
282
00:12:19,760 --> 00:12:22,839
Got it all up here.
An eidetic memory.
283
00:12:22,840 --> 00:12:25,399
"Tina breathed heavily
as the Right Honourable McLachlan
284
00:12:25,400 --> 00:12:26,839
- "then slid his hand up..."
- You bastard!
285
00:12:26,840 --> 00:12:29,999
- You read it already,
you dirty bastard! - Muy caliente.
286
00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:31,479
How? You said you didn't have time.
287
00:12:31,480 --> 00:12:33,639
I lied. Plus I'm a fast reader
and I micro nap.
288
00:12:33,640 --> 00:12:34,999
- You know this about me.
- Ugh...
289
00:12:35,000 --> 00:12:36,879
Is the smarmy gent from Borneo
supposed to be me?
290
00:12:36,880 --> 00:12:39,439
No! It's David Boreanaz, obviously.
291
00:12:39,440 --> 00:12:41,999
You can tell by the description
of his zygomatic.
292
00:12:42,000 --> 00:12:45,279
- From Buffy?
- No, from Bones! Eh!
293
00:12:45,280 --> 00:12:47,119
Go away!
294
00:12:47,120 --> 00:12:48,799
We're going the same way!
295
00:12:48,800 --> 00:12:50,399
SHE HISSES
296
00:12:50,400 --> 00:12:51,719
Bye, Declan.
297
00:12:51,720 --> 00:12:53,839
1379 -
the Byzantine Civil War ended.
298
00:12:53,840 --> 00:12:55,199
KEYPAD TAPS AND BUZZES
299
00:12:55,200 --> 00:12:57,000
Great. Thank you, Declan.
300
00:12:58,920 --> 00:13:01,959
Well...this is hopeless.
301
00:13:01,960 --> 00:13:04,559
I'm going to...
I'm going to have to tell Lee.
302
00:13:04,560 --> 00:13:07,599
When you find his password,
will you tell me the significance?
303
00:13:07,600 --> 00:13:09,600
Yeah, Declan - top of the list.
304
00:13:11,000 --> 00:13:13,290
Not going to be able to think
of anything else.
305
00:13:14,560 --> 00:13:16,840
Fudge bucket! I forgot my bits.
306
00:13:20,840 --> 00:13:24,119
Thank God you're here -
someone stole my tablet!
307
00:13:24,120 --> 00:13:27,959
Do you think it's those pesky,
drug-taking palaeontologists?
308
00:13:27,960 --> 00:13:29,399
I made them up.
309
00:13:29,400 --> 00:13:30,680
It was me that took it.
310
00:13:31,720 --> 00:13:33,519
Yeah, no, I guessed that.
311
00:13:33,520 --> 00:13:34,799
You know, since it went missing
312
00:13:34,800 --> 00:13:37,999
around the time that you
were making bird noises to Declan.
313
00:13:38,000 --> 00:13:40,239
You, er...want to tell me
what's going on?
314
00:13:40,240 --> 00:13:44,640
Last night, when I was drunk, I sent
you a really embarrassing email.
315
00:13:45,840 --> 00:13:47,160
Can you delete it, please?
316
00:13:49,120 --> 00:13:50,439
Sure.
317
00:13:50,440 --> 00:13:52,239
- Seriously?
- Yeah.
318
00:13:52,240 --> 00:13:53,879
I don't want to embarrass you.
319
00:13:53,880 --> 00:13:55,799
What's the significance of 1793?
320
00:13:55,800 --> 00:13:56,960
Corner numbers.
321
00:13:58,080 --> 00:14:00,520
And...gone!
322
00:13:58,080 --> 00:14:00,519
TABLET BEEPS
323
00:14:00,520 --> 00:14:01,570
SHE SIGHS
324
00:14:02,600 --> 00:14:04,079
Was it nudes?
325
00:14:04,080 --> 00:14:05,439
So much worse.
326
00:14:05,440 --> 00:14:07,840
HE CHUCKLES
327
00:14:05,440 --> 00:14:07,839
Will you tell me one day?
328
00:14:07,840 --> 00:14:10,760
I will. But...definitely not today.
329
00:14:12,320 --> 00:14:13,480
Feeling better?
330
00:14:15,600 --> 00:14:16,650
Thank you.
331
00:14:16,651 --> 00:14:19,359
What are you doing this weekend?
332
00:14:19,360 --> 00:14:22,799
Oh, you know, the usual -
wash my hair,
333
00:14:22,800 --> 00:14:26,479
watch videos on meal-prepping,
while ordering takeaway.
334
00:14:26,480 --> 00:14:27,919
You know, packed schedule.
335
00:14:27,920 --> 00:14:28,999
Oh.
336
00:14:29,000 --> 00:14:33,199
No, er...why? Um...what's-what's...?
What are you doing this weekend?
337
00:14:33,200 --> 00:14:36,199
My dad wanted to do that Tough Man
competition in the park
338
00:14:36,200 --> 00:14:39,159
but he found out
it was a 200 entry fee,
339
00:14:39,160 --> 00:14:43,199
so he's built his own
Tough Man race in the garden.
340
00:14:43,200 --> 00:14:46,519
We're all going to go and eat mince
and tatties and watch him fall over.
341
00:14:46,520 --> 00:14:49,079
Um, just the family.
342
00:14:49,080 --> 00:14:51,839
I... Would you like to come?
I mean...
343
00:14:51,840 --> 00:14:53,279
..I would like you to come.
344
00:14:53,280 --> 00:14:56,039
And, um...no work friends or...?
345
00:14:56,040 --> 00:14:58,599
Mm-mm. Absolutely no work friends.
346
00:14:58,600 --> 00:15:00,679
Er, I'd love to.
Yeah, I'll be...I'll be there.
347
00:15:00,680 --> 00:15:01,919
OK. Cool.
348
00:15:01,920 --> 00:15:03,599
Do you want the coffee now?
349
00:15:03,600 --> 00:15:05,679
Ooh, best not.
Just a tea please. In case...
350
00:15:05,680 --> 00:15:07,120
In case you... Yeah.
351
00:15:16,640 --> 00:15:20,639
Welcome to the inaugural
Annual Tough Daddy Run!
352
00:15:20,640 --> 00:15:21,959
HE STRAINS
353
00:15:21,960 --> 00:15:23,919
- Don't say "Tough Daddy".
- Hard Daddy?
354
00:15:23,920 --> 00:15:26,279
Eurgh! Just stop saying "Daddy"
altogether!
355
00:15:26,280 --> 00:15:28,199
Your generation ruin everything.
356
00:15:28,200 --> 00:15:30,119
200 quid for an obstacle course?!
357
00:15:30,120 --> 00:15:31,839
I said to the fella on the phone,
I said,
358
00:15:31,840 --> 00:15:34,199
"Ha, you must think
I was born yesterday.
359
00:15:34,200 --> 00:15:37,319
"I'll-I'll build my own Tough Run
for that amount of money."
360
00:15:37,320 --> 00:15:38,600
He laughed, Nina.
361
00:15:38,601 --> 00:15:41,039
Well, who's laughing now?
362
00:15:41,040 --> 00:15:42,879
So that cost less than 200 quid?
363
00:15:42,880 --> 00:15:45,359
No, but that catsuit
cost him 150 quid alone,
364
00:15:45,360 --> 00:15:46,759
and he's wearing it back to front!
365
00:15:46,760 --> 00:15:49,479
Ah, a tough man
builds his own challenges, Nina!
366
00:15:49,480 --> 00:15:53,119
He doesn't need some Oxbridge
bed-wetter with a degree in jogging
367
00:15:53,120 --> 00:15:54,439
to bleed him dry.
368
00:15:54,440 --> 00:15:56,959
All right, Vomster, recovered
from your bender last weekend?
369
00:15:56,960 --> 00:15:59,159
- You had a bender?
- Evie made me.
370
00:15:59,160 --> 00:16:02,319
Evie! You know your sister
gets overstimulated!
371
00:16:02,320 --> 00:16:04,839
I think you'll find she was the one
doing the stimulating!
372
00:16:04,840 --> 00:16:06,039
Shut up!
373
00:16:06,040 --> 00:16:07,159
Who were you stimulating, Nina?
374
00:16:07,160 --> 00:16:10,279
Oh, and now stimulating has been
added to the banned-word list!
375
00:16:10,280 --> 00:16:13,199
Nina sent her erotic fiction
to the Coffee Man and the American.
376
00:16:13,200 --> 00:16:16,119
- Evie!
- Romancing The Bone? Oh, it's brilliant.
377
00:16:16,120 --> 00:16:18,039
You should get
a publisher for that, Bean!
378
00:16:18,040 --> 00:16:20,319
You could be a millionaire,
like the 50 Shades woman!
379
00:16:20,320 --> 00:16:21,799
Which one...
380
00:16:21,800 --> 00:16:23,559
..of you treacherous bastards...
381
00:16:23,560 --> 00:16:25,559
sent Romancing The Bone to my dad?
382
00:16:25,560 --> 00:16:27,079
I sent it to your dad.
383
00:16:27,080 --> 00:16:29,119
- Bo sent it to me.
- Bo!
384
00:16:29,120 --> 00:16:31,639
I like the story where
the olden days version of Nina
385
00:16:31,640 --> 00:16:34,799
shags the Right Honourable
politician in front of a mirror.
386
00:16:34,800 --> 00:16:37,679
Yes, so the politician
was based on the weird guy
387
00:16:37,680 --> 00:16:39,719
that lived across the road
when she was 25!
388
00:16:39,720 --> 00:16:41,319
Garth, who worked for Greenpeace?
389
00:16:41,320 --> 00:16:43,239
Yeah, he was very flattered, Nina.
390
00:16:43,240 --> 00:16:44,679
Ew!
391
00:16:44,680 --> 00:16:46,719
So? What do they think?
392
00:16:46,720 --> 00:16:47,759
Who?
393
00:16:47,760 --> 00:16:50,039
The Coffee Man and the American.
What was the feedback?
394
00:16:50,040 --> 00:16:51,839
SHE BREATHES RAPIDLY
395
00:16:51,840 --> 00:16:53,559
Clayton made me sing
the Star-Spangled Banner
396
00:16:53,560 --> 00:16:54,599
to get him to delete it,
397
00:16:54,600 --> 00:16:56,319
but it didn't matter
because he'd read it already!
398
00:16:56,320 --> 00:16:58,519
And Lee deleted it without reading
it because he knew I was upset.
399
00:16:58,520 --> 00:17:00,319
Excuse me one second.
400
00:17:00,320 --> 00:17:01,959
MUFFLED SCREAM
401
00:17:01,960 --> 00:17:04,279
SHE CLEARS HER THROAT
Thank you.
402
00:17:04,280 --> 00:17:07,519
Point is, I shouldn't have sent it.
403
00:17:07,520 --> 00:17:09,119
It was very silly of me.
404
00:17:09,120 --> 00:17:10,799
Which is code for "off her tits".
405
00:17:10,800 --> 00:17:12,839
Well...there's your answer.
406
00:17:12,840 --> 00:17:15,439
Lee passed the test -
he put your feelings first.
407
00:17:15,440 --> 00:17:17,719
- It wasn't a test, Mum.
- It was an experiment. - Thank you.
408
00:17:17,720 --> 00:17:19,799
An experiment
which Lee is the winner of,
409
00:17:19,800 --> 00:17:21,079
so he's coming for dinner tonight.
410
00:17:21,080 --> 00:17:24,599
So Lee's the sugar merchant
and Clay's the falconer?
411
00:17:24,600 --> 00:17:26,119
No. No, no, no. Clay is the
412
00:17:26,120 --> 00:17:28,639
- enemies-to-lovers story in Borneo.
- Oh!
413
00:17:28,640 --> 00:17:31,079
No. No. No. No.
414
00:17:31,080 --> 00:17:32,879
Nobody's Lee. Nobody's Clay.
415
00:17:32,880 --> 00:17:34,199
Nobody's anything.
416
00:17:34,200 --> 00:17:36,079
It's all just fictitious. I just...
417
00:17:36,080 --> 00:17:37,679
A fantasy that I created!
418
00:17:37,680 --> 00:17:39,320
Fantasies with parallels.
419
00:17:41,080 --> 00:17:45,199
Listen, Lee is the one person
in the whole of Scotland
420
00:17:45,200 --> 00:17:47,559
who apparently
hasn't read my creative writing.
421
00:17:47,560 --> 00:17:49,839
- ALL:
- Smut! - SHUT UP!
422
00:17:49,840 --> 00:17:50,879
DOORBELL
423
00:17:50,880 --> 00:17:52,039
Oh...
424
00:17:52,040 --> 00:17:54,399
He's the one person
who I would like not to read it yet.
425
00:17:54,400 --> 00:17:57,839
So, for the love
of everything that is holy,
426
00:17:57,840 --> 00:17:59,960
will you please, please...
427
00:18:01,840 --> 00:18:02,959
..be chill?
428
00:18:02,960 --> 00:18:06,159
We will be chill if you admit
that Lee is the sugar merchant.
429
00:18:06,160 --> 00:18:07,240
NINA GROWLS
430
00:18:08,480 --> 00:18:09,559
It's not a no.
431
00:18:09,560 --> 00:18:11,680
THEY CHEER
432
00:18:09,560 --> 00:18:11,680
Shush!
433
00:18:16,680 --> 00:18:20,080
INSECT BUZZES
434
00:18:22,800 --> 00:18:24,359
- Hi.
- Hi.
435
00:18:24,360 --> 00:18:25,410
Hello.
436
00:18:25,461 --> 00:18:27,679
Er, Amber messaged me,
437
00:18:27,680 --> 00:18:28,799
asked me to bring them.
438
00:18:28,800 --> 00:18:31,759
Oh, I'd block her number now,
or you will be on the receiving end
439
00:18:31,760 --> 00:18:33,559
of some very questionable
podcast clips.
440
00:18:33,560 --> 00:18:35,119
Oh, it's too late for that.
441
00:18:35,120 --> 00:18:37,840
I'm already knee-deep
into the lore of Club Shay Shay.
442
00:18:39,280 --> 00:18:41,439
- EVIE:
- Act natural.
443
00:18:41,440 --> 00:18:42,490
Hi.
444
00:18:43,800 --> 00:18:46,999
- Hello.
- Hi. - What's happening?
445
00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:48,080
So, er...
446
00:18:48,081 --> 00:18:52,479
..what made you want to do the Tough
Man race in the first place, Ade?
447
00:18:52,480 --> 00:18:55,039
See, when I was wee,
I thought my Granda was ancient.
448
00:18:55,040 --> 00:18:57,519
But he was actually the same age
I am right now.
449
00:18:57,520 --> 00:19:00,359
He-he couldn't move, he was...
he was always in his bed.
450
00:19:00,360 --> 00:19:01,879
Like the Granda in Willy Wonka?
451
00:19:01,880 --> 00:19:03,559
Aye! But naw.
452
00:19:03,560 --> 00:19:06,559
See, the Granda from Willy Wonka
was just...lazy.
453
00:19:06,560 --> 00:19:09,799
The cunt sprang right up at
the prospect of a free factory tour.
454
00:19:09,800 --> 00:19:11,879
I just don't want to be
that kind of granda.
455
00:19:11,880 --> 00:19:14,999
But you won't -
you hate a factory tour, Dad.
456
00:19:15,000 --> 00:19:18,679
All right, guys, if we want to get
to 250 laps before dark,
457
00:19:18,680 --> 00:19:20,679
we need to start pronto, Ade.
458
00:19:20,680 --> 00:19:22,559
CONTENDER, READY?
459
00:19:22,560 --> 00:19:23,879
THEY WHOOP
460
00:19:23,880 --> 00:19:25,919
GLADIATORS, READY?
461
00:19:25,920 --> 00:19:28,999
THEY CHEER
462
00:19:29,000 --> 00:19:30,840
Ade, you'll go on my first whistle!
463
00:19:32,760 --> 00:19:33,879
HE WHISTLES
464
00:19:33,880 --> 00:19:35,559
- Go!
- That was it.
465
00:19:35,560 --> 00:19:36,720
Yay!
466
00:19:38,240 --> 00:19:41,200
THEY CHEER
467
00:19:45,600 --> 00:19:46,799
Yay!
468
00:19:46,800 --> 00:19:47,960
Knees up!
469
00:19:51,040 --> 00:19:52,199
Go on, Dad!
470
00:19:52,200 --> 00:19:53,959
- ALL:
- Oh!
471
00:19:53,960 --> 00:19:55,479
Yes!
472
00:19:55,480 --> 00:19:57,200
THEY CHEER
473
00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:02,199
I'm really glad you came.
474
00:20:02,200 --> 00:20:03,960
Yes! What a man!
475
00:20:06,280 --> 00:20:08,120
THUNDER RUMBLES
476
00:20:09,800 --> 00:20:11,400
HE WHEEZES
477
00:20:12,960 --> 00:20:14,239
Ade?
478
00:20:14,240 --> 00:20:15,719
How many more, Nesh?
479
00:20:15,720 --> 00:20:18,279
Just one more round, Ade-mondo.
Just one more round.
480
00:20:18,280 --> 00:20:20,479
- No, no, no. No...
- Yeah, yeah...
481
00:20:20,480 --> 00:20:22,319
Come on!
482
00:20:22,320 --> 00:20:24,560
HE STRAINS
483
00:20:22,320 --> 00:20:24,560
- There we go.
- Ugh...
484
00:20:26,360 --> 00:20:27,919
Yes, that's it.
485
00:20:27,920 --> 00:20:30,519
No, no, no, no, no.
486
00:20:30,520 --> 00:20:32,239
I'm not a Tough Man, Nesh.
487
00:20:32,240 --> 00:20:35,759
Hey! Hey! You're the toughest
bloody bastard I know, Ade.
488
00:20:35,760 --> 00:20:38,279
You can do this.
Just like we practised.
489
00:20:38,280 --> 00:20:40,599
You can do it. Deep breaths.
You can do it.
490
00:20:40,600 --> 00:20:42,520
ADE PUFFS
491
00:20:40,600 --> 00:20:42,519
Yeah...
492
00:20:42,520 --> 00:20:44,199
Yeah, yeah, that's it.
493
00:20:44,200 --> 00:20:45,839
THAT'S it! Come on!
494
00:20:45,840 --> 00:20:47,359
Feel that energy.
495
00:20:47,360 --> 00:20:49,119
There we go!
496
00:20:49,120 --> 00:20:51,559
Over here, Ade!
Just here, just here.
497
00:20:51,560 --> 00:20:53,319
There we go. Steady...
498
00:20:53,320 --> 00:20:54,879
Mask on first, Ade.
499
00:20:54,880 --> 00:20:55,930
Rules are rules.
500
00:20:55,931 --> 00:20:59,879
- LEE:
- You can do it, Mr MacArthur! - Come on, Dad!
501
00:20:59,880 --> 00:21:01,639
Close enough. Skipping rope.
502
00:21:01,640 --> 00:21:03,639
Knees up! Knees up!
503
00:21:03,640 --> 00:21:05,679
You're only eight hours
behind schedule.
504
00:21:05,680 --> 00:21:07,639
- Incredible! Here we go.
- BO: - Come on!
505
00:21:07,640 --> 00:21:09,799
- Yes, Dad!
- Perfect!
506
00:21:09,800 --> 00:21:11,239
Golden ring!
507
00:21:11,240 --> 00:21:12,759
- On the dolphin!
- What dolphin?
508
00:21:12,760 --> 00:21:14,999
- On the dolphin, Ade!
- What dolphin, Nesh?!
509
00:21:15,000 --> 00:21:16,999
On the dolphin, Ade!
On the dolphin, Ade!
510
00:21:17,000 --> 00:21:18,879
Yes, come on!
511
00:21:18,880 --> 00:21:20,399
THEY CHEER
512
00:21:20,400 --> 00:21:23,039
Almost at that bloody finish line!
513
00:21:23,040 --> 00:21:24,879
Here we go!
514
00:21:24,880 --> 00:21:28,119
You're there! You're there, Ade!
You're there!
515
00:21:28,120 --> 00:21:30,959
THEY LAUGH
516
00:21:30,960 --> 00:21:34,119
THEY CHEER
517
00:21:34,120 --> 00:21:36,999
YOU'RE A SUPERGRAN-DADDY!
518
00:21:37,000 --> 00:21:41,959
- Ohhh! Oh, my back!
- Eh? - Son of a bitch, my back...
519
00:21:41,960 --> 00:21:45,839
Oh! Oh, that is...
that is bad luck.
520
00:21:45,840 --> 00:21:47,040
I love your family.
521
00:21:49,000 --> 00:21:52,439
Do you know who I love?
That Dave Chapelle Roan.
522
00:21:52,440 --> 00:21:55,959
I'm dancing at
the pink horsey club, whoo!
523
00:21:55,960 --> 00:21:58,359
I'm dancing at
the pink horsey club.
524
00:21:58,360 --> 00:22:00,359
Those are two separate people.
525
00:22:00,360 --> 00:22:02,159
Dave Chapelle and Chapell Roan.
526
00:22:02,160 --> 00:22:03,439
It's not quite right, Mum.
527
00:22:03,440 --> 00:22:06,199
Let your mother have her fun.
She's young, she's hip -
528
00:22:06,200 --> 00:22:08,599
she knows all the Brat Summers
and the bisexuals.
529
00:22:08,600 --> 00:22:10,959
- Thank you, my virile young husband.
- Aw.
530
00:22:10,960 --> 00:22:12,560
So, um, Bo, are...
531
00:22:13,520 --> 00:22:16,319
..are you feeling prepared
for, um...the baby?
532
00:22:16,320 --> 00:22:17,879
Well, I was worried I wouldn't cope.
533
00:22:17,880 --> 00:22:21,799
But these three made me realise
maybe I am cut out for this,
534
00:22:21,800 --> 00:22:24,239
cos there can be nothing harder
than wrangling this pissed-up trio.
535
00:22:24,240 --> 00:22:25,519
THEY CHUCKLE
536
00:22:25,520 --> 00:22:26,959
It was very impressive.
537
00:22:26,960 --> 00:22:28,919
They all kept
trying to jump out the car,
538
00:22:28,920 --> 00:22:31,559
but Bo kept his cool,
got us all home safe.
539
00:22:31,560 --> 00:22:32,599
Impressive indeed.
540
00:22:32,600 --> 00:22:34,519
If it wasn't for the kebab sauce
smeared on the windows
541
00:22:34,520 --> 00:22:36,959
and this one sending dirty emails
to you and the American,
542
00:22:36,960 --> 00:22:38,560
it would've been a clean sheet.
543
00:22:43,360 --> 00:22:44,600
Oh, yeah, fuck!
544
00:22:45,760 --> 00:22:47,320
I... Um...
545
00:22:49,880 --> 00:22:52,159
Oh, the tatties are massive,
ain't they?
546
00:22:52,160 --> 00:22:53,760
Oh, do you want a pickle?
547
00:22:57,440 --> 00:22:59,400
HE SPLUTTERS
548
00:22:57,440 --> 00:22:59,399
Oh, shit...
549
00:22:59,400 --> 00:23:01,559
- MOUTH FULL:
- Oh, my God, this is so good. But...
550
00:23:01,560 --> 00:23:02,879
HE COUGHS
551
00:23:02,880 --> 00:23:05,679
I'm, um...I just realised
I've got...I've got something on.
552
00:23:05,680 --> 00:23:09,279
I've got to go,
I've got this thing on that...
553
00:23:09,280 --> 00:23:13,199
This-this has been, um...delicious,
and, well...well done again but...
554
00:23:13,200 --> 00:23:16,880
So much fun. Thank you so much
for having me, but, um...bye!
555
00:23:18,840 --> 00:23:21,080
Bo, what is wrong with you?
556
00:23:18,840 --> 00:23:21,079
THEY ALL SHOUT AT ONCE
557
00:23:21,080 --> 00:23:22,240
Honestly just the w...
558
00:23:23,600 --> 00:23:25,480
I just...forgot my coat.
559
00:23:28,040 --> 00:23:30,120
- Oh!
- I'm sorry, sorry.
560
00:23:28,040 --> 00:23:30,120
CHAIR CLATTERS
561
00:23:38,040 --> 00:23:39,359
SHE SNIFFLES
562
00:23:39,360 --> 00:23:40,640
Don't talk to me.
563
00:23:43,160 --> 00:23:45,200
- Agh!
- EVIE: - Idiot!
564
00:23:49,560 --> 00:23:51,680
SHE SNIFFS AND BREATHES SHAKILY
565
00:23:54,160 --> 00:23:55,400
Lee...
566
00:24:10,880 --> 00:24:12,080
Lee?
567
00:24:14,120 --> 00:24:15,519
Hello.
568
00:24:15,520 --> 00:24:16,879
Hi.
569
00:24:16,880 --> 00:24:20,199
I know you're avoiding me,
so I-I drank office coffee
570
00:24:20,200 --> 00:24:23,599
in respect of your avoidance,
but I just wanted to...
571
00:24:23,600 --> 00:24:24,880
I read it.
572
00:24:26,840 --> 00:24:28,399
Oh...
573
00:24:28,400 --> 00:24:29,919
I thought you deleted it?
574
00:24:29,920 --> 00:24:32,479
I did, but it was
in the deleted folder,
575
00:24:32,480 --> 00:24:35,439
and I assume he's read it, so...
576
00:24:35,440 --> 00:24:38,359
I just misinterpreted something Evie
said when I was drunk,
577
00:24:38,360 --> 00:24:40,399
and-and-and it was an experiment
578
00:24:40,400 --> 00:24:42,159
and I was trying to
work something out.
579
00:24:42,160 --> 00:24:45,599
By sending screeds of porn
to me and your work friend?
580
00:24:45,600 --> 00:24:46,839
It wasn't porn.
581
00:24:46,840 --> 00:24:48,399
And-and you said
I was just your friend,
582
00:24:48,400 --> 00:24:50,599
- so I don't see what the problem is.
- You know there's a difference.
583
00:24:50,600 --> 00:24:52,559
No, I don't know
there's a difference.
584
00:24:52,560 --> 00:24:55,319
You said you wanted to meet me
in Knutsford, so I came to Knutsford
585
00:24:55,320 --> 00:24:56,679
and then you didn't show up.
586
00:24:56,680 --> 00:24:59,399
And then you told Claudette
that I was just your friend.
587
00:24:59,400 --> 00:25:02,600
And then you
get all jealous of Clay when...
588
00:25:04,160 --> 00:25:06,879
..we're not anything.
We've been on one date.
589
00:25:06,880 --> 00:25:08,999
I don't even know
if you actually like me.
590
00:25:09,000 --> 00:25:11,839
So you're keeping your options open?
Is-is that was this is?
591
00:25:11,840 --> 00:25:13,399
Sending me weird...
592
00:25:13,400 --> 00:25:14,959
Don't call me weird.
593
00:25:14,960 --> 00:25:18,559
I'm not calling you weird.
I'm saying what you DID was weird.
594
00:25:18,560 --> 00:25:23,199
Nina, you sent two men a
160,000-word PDF of Victorian smut -
595
00:25:23,200 --> 00:25:24,599
it's hardly normal.
596
00:25:24,600 --> 00:25:27,319
- Well, I'm sorry I'm not normal.
- Oh, great. - Sorry I'm not perfect.
597
00:25:27,320 --> 00:25:30,719
I made a mistake and don't act like
being sent my creative writing
598
00:25:30,720 --> 00:25:33,199
is something special.
Half my family have read it.
599
00:25:33,200 --> 00:25:35,759
Oh, oh!
Oh, that's...that's great, Nina!
600
00:25:35,760 --> 00:25:37,999
That makes me...
That makes me feel much better.
601
00:25:38,000 --> 00:25:40,279
So, what, they were all just
laughing at me the other night?
602
00:25:40,280 --> 00:25:41,639
Nobody was laughing at you.
603
00:25:41,640 --> 00:25:43,919
You know, I could have
other options too.
604
00:25:43,920 --> 00:25:47,119
Just because you're so cool
with your degree...
605
00:25:47,120 --> 00:25:48,999
- Degrees.
- Degrees!
606
00:25:49,000 --> 00:25:51,759
And your...funny one-lines
607
00:25:51,760 --> 00:25:54,320
and your-your-your
interesting takes on...
608
00:25:55,680 --> 00:25:56,800
..life...
609
00:26:00,560 --> 00:26:01,610
It's too difficult.
610
00:26:02,600 --> 00:26:06,199
Difficult? This is difficult?
611
00:26:06,200 --> 00:26:09,359
Nothing in this world is easy for me
or my brain.
612
00:26:09,360 --> 00:26:10,719
But at least I try.
613
00:26:10,720 --> 00:26:13,839
I put myself out there and, yeah,
I did something that was a bit bold,
614
00:26:13,840 --> 00:26:17,639
but at least I don't just stand
still, waiting for life to happen!
615
00:26:17,640 --> 00:26:20,039
I make life happen,
and that's difficult!
616
00:26:20,040 --> 00:26:23,239
I wasn't standing still,
I was waiting for you.
617
00:26:23,240 --> 00:26:25,439
I-I'm not some bone
you can stick in the earth
618
00:26:25,440 --> 00:26:27,519
and dig up
whenever you feel like it!
619
00:26:27,520 --> 00:26:29,479
- CLAY, APPROACHING:
- I know, that's what I said! I know!
620
00:26:29,480 --> 00:26:30,759
CLAY LAUGHS
621
00:26:30,760 --> 00:26:33,519
- All right. Talk to you soon, Mom.
Love you. - Great.
622
00:26:33,520 --> 00:26:34,679
Perfect timing.
623
00:26:34,680 --> 00:26:37,079
I don't bury bones
to dig them up later.
624
00:26:37,080 --> 00:26:39,159
That would be stupid.
625
00:26:39,160 --> 00:26:42,639
And there we have it -
you think I'm stupid.
626
00:26:42,640 --> 00:26:45,559
I just draw conclusions from
the evidence which I'm presented.
627
00:26:45,560 --> 00:26:47,360
Yeah. So do I, Nina.
628
00:26:48,800 --> 00:26:50,119
Hey, guys.
629
00:26:50,120 --> 00:26:52,319
Hi, Clayton.
Did you have fun in Borneo?
630
00:26:52,320 --> 00:26:54,790
Why don't you go have fun
with your other option?
631
00:26:57,000 --> 00:26:59,279
Nina...you OK?
632
00:26:59,280 --> 00:27:01,560
I don't like
when people call me weird.
633
00:27:04,480 --> 00:27:05,560
Yeah, I know.
634
00:27:06,880 --> 00:27:09,119
I don't know why I did what I did.
635
00:27:09,120 --> 00:27:11,799
Look, you know what?
I-I don't care why.
636
00:27:11,800 --> 00:27:14,439
And I'm glad you did. And I'm...
637
00:27:14,440 --> 00:27:15,680
I'm sorry.
638
00:27:17,120 --> 00:27:20,479
You know, I should've deleted it
when I saw it was private but...
639
00:27:20,480 --> 00:27:22,920
..once I started reading,
I couldn't stop.
640
00:27:24,520 --> 00:27:26,079
It's very good, Nina.
641
00:27:26,080 --> 00:27:28,400
Scotland. You call me Scotland.
642
00:27:30,400 --> 00:27:31,519
Hey, cheer up.
643
00:27:31,520 --> 00:27:33,640
Come on, tomorrow's
a brand-new day and...
644
00:27:34,560 --> 00:27:37,079
..it's the big fundraiser,
and we can dress up
645
00:27:37,080 --> 00:27:39,799
- and be whoever we want to be, huh?
- Ha.
646
00:27:39,800 --> 00:27:42,520
Can I be somebody
who doesn't send weird emails?
647
00:27:42,521 --> 00:27:46,359
I missed you this last week,
while you were avoiding me.
648
00:27:46,360 --> 00:27:47,559
I wasn't avoiding you.
649
00:27:47,560 --> 00:27:49,279
Oh, you're such a bad liar!
650
00:27:49,280 --> 00:27:51,319
- No, I'm not!
- Yeah, you are!
651
00:27:51,320 --> 00:27:53,319
Oh, my gosh, did I tell you,
the other day,
652
00:27:53,320 --> 00:27:56,479
I saw Harrison Ford rollerblading
through the park with two huskies?
653
00:27:56,480 --> 00:27:58,639
- Seriously?
- No.
654
00:27:58,640 --> 00:28:00,920
- But that's how you tell a lie.
- Oh! - Ha!
655
00:28:05,880 --> 00:28:08,199
It's a dark day
656
00:28:08,200 --> 00:28:11,279
But those days need seeing to
657
00:28:11,280 --> 00:28:13,479
No misbelief
658
00:28:13,480 --> 00:28:14,880
Listen through
659
00:28:17,640 --> 00:28:20,279
Honestly now
660
00:28:20,280 --> 00:28:23,119
Would you look after me
661
00:28:23,120 --> 00:28:26,119
Keep under lock and key?
662
00:28:26,120 --> 00:28:29,079
Would you
663
00:28:29,080 --> 00:28:33,320
Follow the sound
of my tears streaming down?
664
00:28:33,370 --> 00:28:37,920
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