All language subtitles for A9FAE1E480D8A4E466568AADF7ABC7E6_eng (ABOUT FATE)

Today's the day.

Today's the day.

What? Don't look
at me like that.

It could happen.

Good morning.

Yes.

Yes!

I'll think about it.

That's a proposal-worthy
face. Right?

Well, I'd marry you.

Hey. Teddy? Come on.

What? You lick your own butt.

I'm feeling much better,
thank you for asking.

Oh.

So, when do we pick up the ring?

Morning, Mom.

You know, I already told you

I'm gonna pick up the
ring on my lunch hour.

So, you know, I actually
don't need any help.

- Yeah, I know.
- Thanks.

But you know how
forgetful you are.

And that cold medicine
makes you loopy.

Yeah, well, I don't know,

I feel like I'm not gonna forget

my engagement ring,

even with a cold.

But I appreciate it.

And don't stop
taking that medicine.

You know, no woman
wants to say yes

to a crusty nose.

You have to remember
you only have one day a year

when you can propose
on December 30th.

You know, three generations
of Reeds can't be wrong.

Yeah, I'm well
aware. No, I know.

But I gotta go, okay?
But I'll talk to you later.

Oh, who'd have thought, my son,

two times Student
Samaritan of the Month,

engaged to a girl with
her own park bench? Like...

I know. I know.

All right, well, I love
you, okay? Gotta go. Bye.

Oh, and just one more thing...

Oh, shit!

Dad proposed to
you after one week.

Well, that was a different time.

And your dad wanted to get laid.

Oh, as a matter of fact,
he's on his way back now.

We're in our hotel room, so...

Okay, TMI, Mom.

Anyway, he made
dinner reservations

and says he wants to talk.

Oh, I hope it's not cancer.

What if the first time
you're meeting my boyfriend,

you're actually
meeting my fiancé?

Okay, we've been
down this road before

and it never ends well.

Look, you have a
date to the wedding,

just take the win.

I wonder if it's too
late to get a spray tan.

Your sister will kill you

if you have a tan at
her winter wedding.

Well, maybe I want to be
tanned for my winter proposal.

I will meet you at the
bridal shop at noon.

Do not be late. Again.

Love you.

Morning, Doris.

Double tall latte.

You are the sweetest
lawyer in the entire building.

Stop.

Oh. Um...

Yeah, it's actually
not what you think it is.

Oh, well, it looks like coffee.

Well, then I guess it is
what you think it is, Doris.

There we go.

- Hey, buddy.
- Hey!

Big night tonight.

Yeah, you a little nervous?

Well, clearly. Oh, shit. Nice.

I get it. It's not every day

you propose to the
hottest chick in town.

Oh.

Okay, can you please not
refer to my future wife as a chick?

Oh, sorry.

- Empress. Duchess. Mistress.
- You know what? No.

She's not like that, okay?

Oh, yeah? You use
her Sonicare again?

No, I already told
you, that was my fault.

- I should've asked.
- Listen, buddy.

There is an
unspoken list of things

that couples in
relationships can share.

Okay? You've got porn,

you've got razors,

toothbrushes.

- Mostly porn.
- Okay. I'm just gonna need you

to stop worrying
about my girlfriend

and just focus on
getting your own, okay?

Hey, I'm working on it, man.

"I am Sam" is up
on Hinge and Tinder.

You know that's a movie

about the mentally
disabled guy, right?

- Shit.
- Just saying.

I thought I was low on matches.

Oh, my God.

You missed the best party.

Totally should have come.

Yeah, I wanted to,
but all you texted me

was the side of a building
and the name "Paco."

Paco! Oh, my God. So cute.

We should all
grab drinks at lunch.

I can't. I have the
stupid final dress fitting.

My sister's worried I'm
gonna put on a late 10 pounds

and ruin her perfect aesthetic.

Fine. After work, then.

Stop pretending
like you don't know

what's possibly maybe
happening tonight.

Why are you getting engaged

to a man who's hiding
from your friends?

He's not hiding. He's earning
his third-degree black belt.

I mean, that's time-consuming.

And he's getting
over a really bad cold.

For three months?

Can you just support me?

Okay? I think I have
finally found Mr. Right.

I do support you.

I just think Mr. Right is
not the guy that calls you

while he's sitting on your face.

My face is on a park bench.

You're supposed to
sit on it and call me.

If they're shopping
for homes, not vagina.

He said it was fate.

No!

It's advertising.

Fate is magical.

Fate is supernatural.

Fate is meeting Calvin
Harris at Coachella,

losing him in a crowd,

then waking up in Joshua Tree

to find him making s'mores
by an open campfire.

Without his shirt on.

That was a fun weekend.

I have to work. Please.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. You're so boring.

- Goodbye.
- Bye.

And you're positive he's coming.

Yes, he's coming.

Why do you keep asking me?

Because no one's even met him.

And you do have a
history of fake boyfriends.

Okay, that was one time.

Kip is real.

He's my date. You're
gonna love him.

- It's $40 a plate.
- So?

- $40 a plate. It's just...
- Okay, so?

We're not having
a rehearsal dinner,

so we can have a
really nice reception.

And if he's not coming, then
we'll invite Brian's Auntie V.

Oh, okay. Well, screw
Auntie V because he's coming.

And if he doesn't, I'll be
sure to write you a check.

Well, you can
write it out to me.

Who do you think is
paying for this thing?

Isn't the groom's family

traditionally supposed
to pay for that part?

- Mm...
- Okay, sorry, are you calling

Brian's family cheap?

No, they happen to be taking us

to a really fancy brunch
the day after the wedding.

Are we almost done
here? Because I don't want

to be late for my spray
tan appointment, so...

No, no. Mom? See, I told you.

She's gonna ruin the wedding.

Okay, how is me
getting a spray tan

gonna ruin the wedding?

I don't know. You'll
turn yourself orange

or you'll get
UV-poisoning and die.

You will figure out some way

to make my wedding all about...

you.

- Prom?
- Still haven't let that go?

- Yeah.
- It's not my fault

that Dylan Kidd liked
me better than you.

Well, you're the one
who gave him a blow job

in the guest bathroom.
So, it is your fault.

Yeah, well, that's because
you take forever to get ready.

Mom?

It is true, you do.

I knew it. I knew I should've
asked Gloria Hefner

to be my maid of honor.

Gloria Hefner has one eyebrow.

How fast can you
make another dress?

No, no, no. She's
out of the wedding!

- Out, out, yes! Yeah.
- Promise? Swear? Promise?

Okay, girls, girls,
girls! Enough.

You're sisters.

So, that means, by law,
you are bound to pretend

to love each other and be
in each other's weddings.

That's just how it goes. Okay?

So, why don't you two say
something nice to each other?

Nothing comes to mind, so...

Here you go, sir.
Sized and shined.

Oh, my God.

Oh, honey, no, no.

Mom, what are you doing here?

I told you, I don't
any help today.

Well, from the looks
of this box, you do.

What's wrong with the box?

Well, it's just dull. I
mean, it doesn't sing to me.

Do you have these
in another color

like gold, or
glitter, or faux fur?

Yeah, apparently we're looking
for the Beyoncé of ring boxes.

We just have these.

My only son is getting engaged
for the very first time in...

I mean, you can understand

how I just want this
proposal to be perfect.

And it will be perfect, okay?

So, you don't really
have to worry about it.

Uh-huh. So, maybe,
I could hear it first?

- Hear what?
- Your proposal speech.

Oh, no. No, no, no.

Absolutely not. No.

Just try it out.
Just for safety.

No, I'm not proposing to
my mother. That's crazy.

Okay. Suit yourself.

- Sorry, this is...
- It's a nice box.

It's a really nice box.

Well, it's only the
single-most important thing

you'll ever say to
a woman, but, uh,

you'll be fine just winging it.

Okay. You know what? One time.

But you say nothing.

All right.

Babe?

Ever since I saw your face,

staring up at me
from that park bench,

I knew that you
were the one for me.

Your beauty, your
drive, your energy...

I mean, I never thought
that some guy like me

would end up with an
incredible woman like you.

You inspire me.

You challenge me.

You push me out
of my comfort zone

because I know you just
want me to be a better man.

And because of you, I am.

Clementine,

will you please do
me the great honor

of becoming my wife?

Oh! Honey, of course, I will.

Aw. - All right.

That's that. All right.

- Oh! Oh, God!
- No, it's not cool. Just...

I'll take these.

Wow!

You look stunning.

You look quite dapper yourself.

I'm so glad you're
feeling better.

Oh, well, I'm still
taking the cold medicine,

just to be safe.

Yeah, I know this place is
kind of a surprise, but, um,

you know, it's
sentimental for me.

My family actually does

their New Year's day
brunch here, every year.

I think Bennigan's is fun.

I mean, the cocktails
are super creative.

Ooh, yeah, should
we order drinks?

Peach on the Beach looks good.

Oh, my God, Peach
on the Beach is the best.

I am so excited for tomorrow.

I mean, I can't wait for
you to meet my family.

Uh, the wedding starts at-00.

Yeah, yeah. So, I'm just
gonna go into the city,

meet the guys, and then, I
should have plenty of time

to come back, shower.

And then, uh, I'll be
at your place by-00?

I picked up your tux
from the dry cleaner,

so you can just
get ready at mine.

Perfect.

You know, it's funny,

even though we haven't
been together that long...

I know, I can't believe it's
only been three months.

Feels like forever.

You know, it's funny, my parents

actually have this saying,

"When you know, you know."

"When you know, you know."

Believe it or not, they, uh...

they actually got
engaged at a Bennigan's.

Welcome to Bennigan's.

OMG.

I know you.

You're the Fletcher's
Mattress girl.

You're even prettier in person.

Thank you, that's so sweet.

You know, she's also the
Muffinland Bakery Queen.

Um, could I get a selfie?

Is this a joke?

I think it's for the best.

You think it's best to dump me

the night before
my sister's wedding?

We have had a
beautiful adventure

the last few months.

But before things
get complicated,

you know, with
meeting the family

and seating assignments and...

Uh, I don't want to be a dick.

Oh, you don't want to be a dick?

Well, that's exactly
what you're being, Kip.

- You're being a dick.
- Whoa.

Okay. Um, look,

I know that my assistant
messed up the reservation.

La Boucherie, Bennigan's.

We can still have a nice dinner,

even though it's not French.

No, we can't have
a nice dinner, Kip.

Okay? And what, did
you think it would be nicer

to dump me over truffle
fries and escargot?

One, two, three. Hey.

- There you go.
- Oh, my God!

- Thank you!
- Yeah, of course.

I'm literally going to die.

Oh, no! Maybe we
can get our drinks first?

You're funny.

- He's funny.
- Yeah. Mm-hmm.

Are you, um... Are you
her manager or something?

Griffin is actually
a brilliant lawyer.

He's about to join
my uncle's firm.

I am?

One of the partners is leaving.

Margot, I meditated
on this last night.

And it came to me in a dream
the timing is just not right.

But maybe in another life.

In another life, what?

- Reincarnation.
- Oh!

Yes, it's another chance...

- Okay.
- and that is on the way

to nirvana.

Wow, well, thank you
so much, Kurt Cobain.

That's not the right Nirvana.

And that's what
I'm talking about.

It's just, something's not...

What're you doing?
You're overreacting.

- Come on, sit down.
- You think I'm overreacting?

Okay, this is not overreacting.

This would be overreacting!

Peach on the Beach.
What do they put in that?

What is going on?

It's been three months.

What were you
expecting? A proposal?

I mean...

No.

Oh...

shit. Okay. Um...

This is awkward.

Okay.

Margot, wait.

Yeah?

I am gonna need the tux.

Do not call me.

Ever.

Ever, ever.

Again.

All right.

Oh, my God, that
was so embarrassing.

Babe? From the moment
that I saw your face

looking up at me
from that park bench...

Oh, my God, are you proposing?

Um...

- Yes.
- Yes!

- Yes?
- Yes! Oh, my God!

- Yes? Oh, my God.
- Yes, I'm so happy!

Oh, my God, I love you
so much. Yes, of course.

Now, can you please
sit down? Sit down.

You don't want to see the ring?

Oh, I'm sure it's beautiful.
I'm sure it's beautiful.

Just, um, save it for
the real proposal. Okay?

- The real proposal?
- Mm-hmm.

Tomorrow night at our
New Year's Eve party.

It'll be perfect.

But, this is perfect.

Tonight. You know,
it's December 30th.

It's a Reed family tradition.

I love your traditions.

I just...

We are technically engaged. Yay.

Just do it again like that.

Tomorrow. And I
will say yes, again.

I... I don't want to do it
again tomorrow, you know?

I just... I just did it.

Here, now. I mean, almost.

Griffin, I...

I just don't see
what the big deal is.

Like, you just
got your proposal.

And then, me and my
followers can get mine.

Well, I guess the
big deal is that

I don't want our proposal
to be some photo op

for your social media.

It's about us.

It will be about us.

But I have a responsibility to
my public and my sponsors.

Griffin, you know I'm a
professional influencer,

which means that I get paid

when I influence
other people's lives.

Like, what I wear

and what I eat

and where I get engaged.

There is no chance in
hell that I'm going to waste

a once-in-a-lifetime
golden opportunity

for Death by Chocolate
and Turkey O'Tooles, no.

Wait, wait, come on.
You're gonna leave?

- We just got engaged.
- Whoa. No, no. We did not.

I am taking back my yes.

- Hey!
- No, no.

Oh, great.

- Thank you so much.
- What?

- Thank you. I don't work here.

- Take me to Maple, please.
- No, no, no!

- Can't hear you, sorry. Great.

Just great.

This is...

Ugh. Come on.

- Um, did you see...?
- Are you looking for

a tall, redhead, super rude?

- Yeah.
- Yeah. I saw her.

She actually just
left in my Uber.

Oh, here, she gave me this.

Oh. Thanks. Yeah,
sorry, she was upset.

Great job,
Bennigan's. Great job.

Uh, do you need help?

Uh...

Not unless you got
an engagement ring

in your pocket.

Uh...

This is me.

Good morning, Judy.

It's almost noon. Your
sister's losing her mind.

The wedding planner
is stuck in Vermont

and the bridal shop
forgot to pack the veil.

And the maid of
honor is still in bed.

I'm not still in bed.

Christ, he didn't
propose, did he?

You got your hopes
up and you were wrong,

and now you're falling apart.

I'm not falling apart. No, Mom.

I am not feeling well. At all.

I don't think I should
go to the wedding.

I could be contagious.

So, this Kip is
still your plus one?

- Yes.
- All right, then.

You need to shower
yourself in Benadryl,

ice your puffy face
and get your butt down

to the hotel to help
your sister get married.

Okay. I'll de-puff.

And you'll pick up the veil.

Yes, I'll pick up...

We will pick up the veil.

I'm in hell.

- Surprise!
- Jesus Christ!

I got Zara to loan
us an amazing suit

for the party tonight.

Sorry, am I missing
something here?

Yes.

Me, apologizing.

Look, I'm really
sorry about last night.

If you still want my
"yes," it's all yours.

Yeah, you know what,

I'm really sorry
too, okay? I just...

All I want is for you to have
the proposal of your dreams.

Okay? And so, if that means

that we monetize the engagement,

then, yeah,
let's... let's do it.

- I support you.
- Oh, thank you.

Oh, that... That...

That looks so good.

Uh, you're acting strange.

Are you okay?

Oh. Yes. Sorry, I'm just...

I overslept and I'm gonna
be late to meet the guys, so...

I just don't really see
why you have to go.

Oh. Yeah. No, I know.

But it's just like our
tradition since law school.

You know, Sam's
family is Russian.

They just love bathhouses, so...

Yeah.

And you know that I
love traditions, but, uh,

traditions can change.

I have to pee. Try on the suit.

Hey, babe, two drink
maximum tonight. Okay?

Remember, vodka
is not your friend.

Vodka's not my
friend. You got it.

Hey, how about I
just try this on later.

And then, you could
be surprised. Huh?

Did you use my toothbrush?

Uh, no, why?

It's wet.

Oh, well, I mean,
I took a shower.

So, I probably just
splashed on it or something.

Hmm. I leave it here
because I trust you.

And relationships
are built on trust.

Uh, don't you think it's
weird that you kiss me,

but I can't use your toothbrush?

No.

Some things aren't
meant to be shared.

- Oral hygiene is one of them.
- Oh.

Davai, davai!

Davai!

She said "yes"? And
then she said "no"?

Yes. But it's a yes, I think.

Maybe she changed her mind

about marrying a
lowly public defender.

No, wrong. She supports me.

She just thinks I should
make a move into corporate.

You hate corporate.

I don't hate corporate.

Are you leaving the office?

No, I mean, it's just a maybe.

Clementine's uncle has a firm.

So, she just wants
me to consider it.

Hey, buddy. What do you want?

Listen, I'm getting
what I want, okay?

I'm getting... I'm getting her.

Tonight, I'm making
it official, again.

- You're getting married?
- Yeah.

Yes, a little to celebrate.

Oh, no, no, no. No.

I told Clementine I'm not
gonna drink today, so...

Nyet! Nonsense, get up, get up.

Up, up, up, up, up.

You will get married. We toast.

This is the best
vodka in the world.

My grandmother had
this at her wedding.

You cannot insult his babushka.

Okay, I'm not gonna insult
anyone's babushka. One shot.

Na zdorovie!

Oh, no, no, no.

Oh, oh, oh, oh. All
the way. All the way.

Smell, smell.

Right.

One more cheer.

The beautiful Clementine!

Ooh.

Oh, my darling Oh, my darling

Clementina

Whoo-hoo!

Clementina

Clementina

Clementina

Clementina

Last one.

- Whoo-hoo!
- Let's go!

Darling, oh, my darling

- Oh, my darling, Clementina
Clementina, Clementina

Thank you.

I have to say a proper goodbye.

Hey, put yourself...

Hey, what's your name?

Gevorg.

Ah, that's my aunt's name.

Okay, I love you too, Gevorg.

Deliver her to 15
Maple Drive, Norwood.

15 Maple...

Go get her, my friend.

Do svidaniya.

- Yep. Do svidaniya.

Do svidaniya.

Who pissed in your Cheerios?

Maybe I should just call him.

The guy just dumped you.

He doesn't get a
call. He gets a beating.

I'm sorry, you're not allowed
to have alcohol in here.

What about a broken heart?

Is she allowed to have
one of those in here?

We're sorry.

I thought this was
a place of healing.

Look, seriously,
what am I going to do?

I can't show up without a date.

How about him? He seems fun.

What? The wedding's
in four hours.

- You can't afford to be picky.
- Forget it.

I can't just pick up some
random guy off the street

and bring him to
my sister's wedding.

Sure, you can.

Hey.

Want to go to a wedding later?

Uh...

Uh, I have plans. Or I would.

Of course, you would.

This is so stupid.

I mean, what kind of a loser

doesn't already have a
date for New Year's Eve?

Don't answer that.

Got him.

He's free tonight and he's cute.

Perfect.

15 Maple Drive?

That's right. 15 Maple Drive.

15 Maple Drive.

$96.15

Wait. Maybe $46.15.

But it's fine. 'Cause
it's New Year's Eve.

You're supposed to get a tip.

You robbed me.

You robbed me.

Okay, my friend. Happy New Year.

Oh, shit. Oh, God.

Come here, you.

Oh. Oh, shit.

Hi, Teddy.

What are you doing up there?

Why are you so dirty?

Clementine! Look at you.

We're gonna have
to talk about that.

- Who the hell are you?
- Who the hell are you?

- Well, I live here!
- I live here!

- This is my bed.
- This is my bed.

- Really?
- What?

What a coincidence! We both
have a one-eyed teddy bear?

What? Oh.

Why are you naked?

I don't know, I guess
I... I took a shower.

- I'm calling the police.
- Do I look scary? I'm naked.

That's exactly what's scary.

- Don't... Don't call the cops.
- 9-1-1.

911. What's your emergency?

There is a naked
deranged man in my house.

- Not deranged, actually.
- Does he have a weapon?

Do you have a weapon?

Do I look like I have a weapon?

- Ow.
- Karma.

That's what you get for
breaking into my house.

Ma'am, are you in danger?

Oh, I didn't break in.

Jesus! I used the spare
key under the flower pot.

Wha... And how did you know

there's a spare key
under my flower pot?

Because there's a spare key

under every flower
pot in Norwood.

Ha! You're not in Norwood,
you're in Westwood.

Ma'am, can you please
repeat the address?

I am? Jesus.

- Thanks a lot, Gevorg.
- Who?

Who's that? Are you alone?

Is there another
intruder in the house?

Yeah, of course,
I'm alone. I think.

Oh, no. I'm gonna die.
This is just like Basic Instinct.

No, no, no. In Basic Instinct,

she ties the guy to the bed
and kills him with an icepick.

So, if this is Basic Instinct,
then I should be scared.

Then it's Jagged Edge.

In Jagged Edge, Jeff
Bridges is wearing a ski mask.

- I'm wearing a towel.
- Then it's Rear Window.

In Rear Window, Jimmy
Stewart is in a cast,

and Raymond Burr kills his wife

in a completely
different apartment.

It doesn't even make sense.

Ma'am, do you even watch movies?

I don't always
make it to the end.

I don't know what's going
on here, but I'm harmless.

- Okay? I swear.
- He sounds harmless to me.

Fine.

But if he dismembers me and
makes lamps out of my skin,

it's on you.

Just stay, sit.

Don't bleed on anything.

Oh, my God.

- Here.
- Ow!

- That hurts.
- You're welcome.

Not to be weird,

but have we met?

No, we haven't met.

I... I'm a real-estate agent.

Maybe you've seen my
face on a park bench.

Mm... No, that wasn't it.

Oh, my God! Last night
at Bennigan's parking lot.

Okay, are you stalking me?

No, oh, my God, no. I swear.

I don't know why I'm here.

But I live at 15 Maple Drive.

This is 15 Maple Drive.

What? No,
that's... that's crazy.

- Oh, no, who's that?
- How should I know?

Apparently, this is your house.

Kip?

- What do you want?
- My tux.

I texted you I was coming.

I didn't get it.
I... I blocked you.

- A bit soon, don't you think?
- Goodbye.

Just let me get my
tux. And I'll be gone.

The tux you were supposed
to wear to my sister's wedding?

Yeah, it's a really
nice tux. And I have a...

Fuck.

Um... Uh...

Hi. This...

- I...
- Who the hell is this?

- I don't know. Who are you?
- I'm her boyfriend.

Ex-boyfriend.

We broke up less
than 24 hours ago.

And there's already some
naked guy in your apartment?

- I mean, how...
- We didn't break up.

You broke up with me.

Wait, you broke up with her
right before New Year's Eve?

What a dick!

I know, right? Thank you.

The naked dude
is calling me a dick.

What? Do you have
a problem with that?

Trust me, you should
hope that I don't.

Okay, no, no, no.

You will not threaten my guest.

What is going on here?

Are you drunk? Is this all you?

So, what if I am?

You've drunken some rosé
and you've picked up some loser.

Actually, I'm a lawyer, so...

You are?

Ha.

You don't even know what
naked guy does for a living.

He could be a serial
killer, he could be crazy.

I'm not naked anymore.

Yeah, he can be naked
if he wants to be naked.

In fact, we can be naked

all over the place
if we want to be.

What does that mean?

It means...

do you want to go to a
wedding with me tonight?

Wh... Mm... Uh...

All right, okay,
I've seen enough.

Goodbye, Kip.

- Seriously?
- I mean,

it felt pretty serious to me.

Okay, no, I get it
now. This is a test.

Fortunately, for
you, I went through

a grueling heart chakra
healing this morning

with my guru over Zoom.

So, I am not about to lose

the progress that
I made over this.

- Okay.
- Okay.

But, if I see you again,

Sadeep is not going to be happy.

Okay, okay, enough.

Goodbye.

Oh, my God.

- I am so sorry.
- Oh, no.

I don't know what
came over me, I was...

It's totally fine.

But, you know, I
should get going.

Um... Yeah, I was... I just...

About the wedding...

Oh, that was real?

You probably have plans.

I mean, yeah,
you could say that.

Yeah, and I mean, who would...

who would go to a
wedding with a total stranger

on New Year's Eve?

Um... Well, this has,
uh, been interesting.

You see, my sister is getting
married in about two hours.

And I'm the maid of honor.

And that guy who just left was
supposed to be my plus one.

And everyone was like,
"Don't get your hopes up."

But, what did I do? I
went and got my hopes up,

and it's $40 a plate.

And if I show up alone,

I'll have to sit next
to an empty chair

surrounded by happy
couples and judgy relatives,

and I'll be the
last girl standing

when the band starts to play.

And the first girl shoved
out onto the dance floor

to catch that stupid
overpriced bouquet.

And I mean, I would rather
die a slow and painful death

than participate
in that humiliating

sexist Hunger Games tradition...

You know? I just... Aah!

Ah...

Look, I, um... I really can't.

I really... I really can't.

No, of course.

I mean, I sound psycho.

No, no, not at all.

Um...

Breakfast at Tiffany's?

Oh, yeah. It's
my favorite movie.

My cat's name is Cat.

Mine too.

You have a cat named Cat?

No, uh, Breakfast at Tiffany's.

I have a Breakfast
at Tiffany's poster

in my kitchen.

My cat is named Ted.

Well, anyway, um, thanks
for not calling the cops.

Yeah, thanks

for not murdering me.

Okay, well, goodbye.

- Yes?
- Hey.

Uh, I just, I forgot my bag.

- Oh. Oh.
- It's right over there.

- Sure.
- Thank you.

Thank you and I'm
sorry about all this.

But, um,

yeah. Goodbye, again.

Yeah. Goodbye.

Forever.

Okay, I just, I'd
have to leave by-00.

Yes! Thank you,
thank you, thank you.

- Thank you, thank you.
- It's okay. All right.

- Thank you, thank you.
- Yes, yes.

How are you gonna explain
bringing me to this wedding?

I'm not. You'll be Kip.

Wait, you want me to pretend
to be the dick who just left?

Please. It'll just
be so much easier.

And you could leave as
soon as the ceremony's done.

Please, you'll
be saving my life.

Does Kip have a job?

Of course, you have a job.

I wouldn't date
a complete loser.

You're a commercial contractor.

You own your own company.

Okay, well, I don't really
know anything about

being a contractor
because I'm a lawyer.

Oh, perfect.

Don't you guys
basically lie for a living?

Here, you can use mine.

This is a 42 long. I'm a 40.

It's Armani.

Just keep your
hands in the pockets.

Wait, so if no
one's met him yet,

then why can't I
just be a lawyer?

Because they already
know he's a contractor.

Oh, and a black belt.

- He's a black belt?
- Yeah, but relax.

It's not like you're
getting into a fight

at my sister's wedding.

So, how long have
you guys been dating?

Had been. Almost three months.

Wait, three months

and not a single
person in your life

has met your boyfriend?

He was busy. People are busy.

Can we dispense with
the Twenty Questions?

I need a zip.

Oh, yeah.

Okay.

I'm Margot, by the way.

Griffin.

Griffin? Wait, your
name is Griffin?

Yes, like the mythical creature.

Part lion, part bird. I know.

Uh...

- We gotta go, gotta go.
- Yes, yes, yes.

- Okay. Oh.
- Okay.

Wait. Hold on. I feel like
I'm forgetting something.

Yeah, you're forgetting
this isn't your house.

- Come on!
- Okay.

Oh, come on.

Come on, come on,
come on, baby, come on.

Come on, come on, come on.

Yes!

Uh, wait, should I drive?

You know, that is
such a man thing to say.

Like I'm incapable of starting
the car because I'm a woman

and it happens to be
sub-zero temperatures outside?

Good one.

Or, perhaps because a
DUI will literally ruin your life.

And I at least had a nap.

Oh.

Well, that's
actually very sweet.

- Switch?
- Yeah, please.

No! Well, hold on. I'm gonna
go around. I'm going around.

Around, around.

Jeez!

We need caffeine.

Wait, are you sure we have time?

Yeah, there's always
time for coffee, let's go.

All right, do you want
to tell me what happened

with, uh, Mr. Armani back there?

It's a long story.
Not that interesting.

Well, you know, if
it's any consolation,

I'm pretty sure you
dodged a bullet back there.

What about you?

Did you dodge a bullet with
Miss Ginger Spice America?

Her name is Clementine.

Clementine?

Wow. It's not a
name, it's a tricky fruit.

Tricky fruit? What is that?

Tricky. Fake, looks all
sweet on the outside,

all bright and orange.

Then you peel it,
it's this dry sour pith.

No. My... My
Clementine is great.

Hmm. Great.

I thought you guys broke up.

What? No, why... why
would you say that?

Oh, um...

'Cause she, you know,

fled Bennigan's, stole my Uber.

Plus, you're on a date with me.

We're not on a date.
I mean, this is a favor.

Yeah, I mean,

you know, you're on
a favor with me. So...

Mm...

You know, I get it, it's fine.
You don't even know me.

Let's just get this over with.

Oh, it's left here.

- Here. Here, here, here!
- Left where? Here? Jeez!

Are you trying to kill us?

A little notice next time.

Why does it look
like the lights are out?

- The sign says closed.
- No, no, no, no,

this cannot be happening! No!

I can't believe
they closed early.

I mean, how could
they do this to me?

Well, you wanted to
stop for coffee, so...

I'm bringing a stranger
to my sister's wedding.

Do I look like I make good
decisions under pressure?

Let's break in.

- Wait, what now?
- I cannot show up

without the veil. I
will be disowned

- after they kill me!
- Where are you going?

Oh! I can climb on this
and go in that window.

Oh, my, God, are you
crazy? Burglary is a felony.

What do you suggest? I
don't think there's a spare key

hiding under the flower pot.

Plus, it's not stealing if
it's your own property. So...

Um, actually, it's called
breaking and entering.

And you can get up to
three months in county jail.

- Oh. Well, that's doable.
- Oh, my God.

Come on, it's just a veil.

Hmm? - Well...

Sorry, what? "Just a veil"?

Well, yeah. I mean, it's just
like a piece of fabric, right?

So, can't she
just, I don't know,

find something else?
Like a towel or a sheet?

Okay. You want my
sister to get married

with a sheet wrapped
around her head?

A pretty sheet?

Okay, just move.

Okay, there's
nothing you can say

that's gonna talk
me out of this.

No, I'm saying you're not
tall enough to get up there.

So, just move. Let me do it.

Oh. Okay.

Thank you.

Hmm, all right. This is...

Okay. All right, here.

- Let me, let me help you. No.

Okay. Okay. Here we go.

- Oh! Sorry, okay.
Okay. Okay. Yes. Yeah.

Here we go, okay,
okay. Okay. Here we go.

- Almost. Yeah.
- Go. Go.

Okay, okay, okay, okay,
okay, that's my head.

- Oh, no.
- Oh, no.

Oh! Shit!

Okay,

uh, what do I do?

- What do I do?
- Just meet me around front.

Okay.

Wait, wait, wait.

What's your sister's name?

Carrie. Carrie Hayes.

- Yeah. Oh, shit!
- Shit.

- I have the veil! Ha-ha! Yeah.
- My hero!

Oh, thank you, thank
you, thank you, thank you.

Oh, perfect.

- All right, let's go.
- Let's do it.

Oh, wait, one second.

Wait, what are you doing?

I have to leave some money

because I, uh,
broke a display case.

I'm a fugitive with
Mother Teresa.

Okay.

All righty. Do it.

No. No, no, no, no, no. No!

Don't panic, no. It's just cold.

- And dead.
- Try again.

- Try again, try again.
- Come on, baby.

No!

Come on, Uber!

Well, someone has
to come by eventually.

Carrie was right. I am
gonna ruin her wedding.

Well, I mean, listen,

if two people are
destined to be together,

then nothing can ruin it.

You don't know my sister.

She would call
the whole thing off

just so she could
hold it over my head

for the rest of our lives.

I'd say you guys
don't really get along.

No, we do.

We're just different.

Her life is perfectly
planned and executed

down to the last detail,

and I ate expired
yogurt for lunch.

Wait, that yogurt was expired?

Jesus!

Ever since we were kids,

Carrie made me feel like I
could never live up to her.

So, I didn't bother trying.

- Okay. So, it's her fault.
- I'm not saying that.

Okay, maybe I am saying that.

I bet you don't
know what it's like

to be a constant
disappointment to your family.

No, but I am like an only child

to the world's happiest,
happy couple ever.

Wow, does Social Services know?

Okay. No, I'm serious though.

It's like the bar
is already so high.

And then, I'm like their
sole purpose in life.

So, I'm just excited
to get married,

so they'll finally have,

you know, someone
else to focus on for once.

Oh, are you getting
married soon?

Well, I mean, not
tomorrow but...

Go! Go!

Hey! Wait!

Margot, wait!
- Whoa! Shit.

- Excuse me!
- Margot!

- Excuse me! Excuse me!
- Go!

- Go! Go!
- Hello! Excuse me!

- Margot, wait! Wait!

- Driver?
- Hold on.

- Driver!
- Wait.

Whoa. Whoa.

Hi! Thank you. Thank
you, our car broke down.

My sister's getting married
tonight and I am so late.

Okay. I have got the boot,

- Cinderella. Ooh, your shoe!

Oh! My... My prince.

Yeah, yeah, just...
- He's harmless, he's with me.

- Oh, oh. Thank you, okay...
- Put your foot in here.

- I got it.
- Well, come on up!

Really?
- Yes.

- Cool.
- Thank you.

Hotel's like three miles away,

so, you know, we were
actually just gonna walk.

But this is probably better.

Ooh, you're saving
our lives. Seriously.

So, what brings
you both out tonight?

It's our anniversary.

Always take my bride to
dinner on New Year's Eve.

Aw!

Happy anniversary!

Fifty-eight years.

And he is still the most
romantic man I ever met.

Fifty-eight years?
That's incredible!

So is your coat, by the way.

Ooh, this is my lucky coat.

I met the man of my
dreams because of this coat.

Because of the coat?

Sounds like
there's a story there.

Go on, dear. You tell it.

Oh, they don't want to hear

how a couple old
coots met 50 years ago.

- Yes, we do!
- What? Yeah, we do.

- We definitely
want to hear. Please.

Well,

it was a drizzly, gray
October morning.

I was taking the ferry
over to Manhattan

to meet my buddy,
Hank, for lunch.

So, the ferry
pulls into the port

and I see this beautiful girl

wearing a carnation pink coat.

I was love-struck, frozen.

When I finally got
my legs to move,

I chased after her but
lost her in the crowd.

- Wait, you lost her?
- You lost her?

I was crushed. I figured
I'd go see a matinee.

So, I walked over to
the Astor on Broadway.

And would you believe it?

Who walks in and
sits one seat over?

But the girl in the
carnation pink coat.

- Come on!
- No way!

So, the movie ends

and I follow her into
the lobby and ask her,

would she like to go have
a piece of pie with me?

- She said, "No." "No"?

I had plans.

To meet my cousin.

So, I asked her,

"Would you please give
me your phone number?"

"And I'll call you tomorrow."

Again, she said, "No."
Turned and walked out.

Oh, no.
- You just walked away?

Give a strange man
my phone number?

My mother would've had my hide.

So, I go to meet my buddy, Hank,

over at Stardust
Diner on 52nd Street.

I walked in, and
would you believe it?

Draped over the
back of the booth

was a carnation pink coat.

- That was that. Mm.

Two months later, we eloped.

And that was 58
years ago tonight.

Simply, a matter of fate.

Wow! That's a beautiful story.

Nothing like that would
ever happen on Tinder.

I mean, not that I'm on Tinder.

Our son is gonna pick us up.

Why don't you folks
keep the carriage

- for the rest of the night?
- Oh.

- Really? Are you serious?

That would be amazing.

Whoa.

Here we are, folks.

Happy anniversary.

Go on, dear. You take this.

Oh, no, no, no. I can't.

A pretty girl like you
can't be going to a wedding

in such an ugly coat.

Uh...

Well, it's your lucky
coat. I wouldn't feel right.

Dear, when the universe
hands you a gift, you don't say no.

Well, okay. Only
if you take mine.

- Look at that! Thank you.

Well.

- Lovely meeting you.
- He's a keeper.

Oh, um...

- What was the movie?
- Sorry, son?

The matinee at the Astor.
You know, the day you two met.

Ah! Audrey Hepburn.

- Breakfast at Tiffany's.
- Breakfast at Tiffany's.

Still our favorite.

Wow.

Will you take this
and just make sure

you pay for that couple's meal.

I'll just come by in
the morning to grab it.

Thank you so much.

What did you just do?

Oh, I just gave
him my credit card.

I thought we should
treat them to dinner.

You just gave a
stranger your credit card?

Yeah, it's fine. I'll just
come get it in the morning.

It's not a big deal.

- Easy.
- Ah. Here we are.

All right. Thank you,
thank you, thank you.

Thank you so much,
Sir. Sorry, move.

I'm coming with you.

Thank you so much.
Happy New Year.

Happy New Year.

Thank you.
- Ah, thank you so much.

Okay. So, Dad is
Paul. Mom is Judy.

Remember, you build
stuff and you adore me.

I have to get this veil
to my sister, okay?

- Okay.
- Oh, hi, aunties!

- Oh. Oh. Yes. Wait, Margot.
- This must be Kip!

I'm glad you're
here. Sheila, Rita.

Okay. Just make
sure that the buttons

are all lined up
perfectly, thank you.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

- I'm here! I'm here! I'm here!
- Oh!

You are two hours late!

Yeah, we got the veil.

- "We"? Is Kip here?
- Yes, Kip is here.

- Oh.
- You guys have no faith in me.

Where are your shoes?

Um, Fourth Avenue.

No, no, no, no, no.

You cannot wear dirty
winter boots down the aisle.

- Um... Mom?

Well, you could always wear
your grandmother's shoes.

- Cute.
- No.

I knew you were
gonna ruin the wedding.

I think you are an
absolute disaster!

Well, you know what's
not a disaster? You.

Okay? You look amazing.

And it's fine, I'll find
Dana and wear her shoes.

Everything will be fine.

Let's just get this veil on you.

Let's get you all situated.

- Then just... Yeah, I got you.

- That's right. Here we go.

Okay, come on.
You look stunning!

I'm really glad you're here.

I'm so sorry I was late.

It was just a debacle,
the whole thing.

- It's okay. It's okay.
- Evening, ladies.

Back-up wedding
planner at your service.

I'm Flour.

Not like the bouquet,

like the grain.

I'm sorry, are you high?

Meh.

Little bit.

Oh! Maybe a lot.

- No, no, no.
- It's okay. It's okay.

- No, no, it's not okay.
- It's all right.

No, no, I'm freaking out.

- You want a hit?
- Oh, I'd love one. Thanks.

After the wedding maybe. Um...

Cool, cool.

All right, gonna go find
Dana for those shoes. So...

- Please.
- Oh, I want to go with you

because I want to
meet this Kip character.

No. Mom, please, there's
not enough time and,

you know, Kip is nervous.

He doesn't need my whole
family pawing all over him.

Do you have...?

Nobody's gonna be pawing
all over him. It's ridiculous.

- I just...
- Yeah.

That doesn't
make... Wait for me.

Hell, yes. Rita, you can

knock down a pony wall
without a permit. No problem.

What about the electrical?

Just pull it.

Just take it out. Come
on, Paul, just pull that shit.

Isn't that dangerous?

I mean, yeah, if you're, like,

standing in a
bathtub or something.

Oh, man, I love this guy.

Hey, dude, marry
Margot so we can be bros.

Whoa!
- And you can teach me

all your moves, right? Hyah!

Oh, oh, careful. I'm dangerous.

You're a martial arts guy too?

- I mean, I dabble, you know?
- Oh!

- For the cardio mostly. Dabble?

The dude's like a
third-degree black belt.

Third, fourth. It's like,
who's counting at this point?

Dude!

Well, for months, all I've heard

is Kip, Kip, Kip. I
want to meet Kip.

Okay, Mom, you're being crazy.

- So, tone it down
and I'll... Kip is here?

- Yes. That's him,
right there. Uh, Kip.

Not much to look at

- but seems nice. Kip. Hey, Kip.

- Hey, Kip. Kip? Kip.
- Oh.

- Yeah, hi. That's Kip?

Yes, that's Margot's
boyfriend, Kip.

Yeah, sorry. I wanted
you to meet my mother.

Um, this is my mom, Judy.

- Oh, my gosh.
- Dying to meet you.

Hello, I've been dying
to meet you as well.

- The black belt?
- Uh, I guess.

Hold my purse.

Excuse me.

How dare you show up here?

You are a sorry
excuse for a man! Kip!

I'm sorry.

Not the reflexes I'd
expect from a black belt.

Hey, Dana, stop.
This is not Kip.

- Hmm?
- I mean... I mean...

this is... this is...
this is not the...

the Kip you thought he was.

He's apologized
for doing that thing

that you're so
mad about. Stop it.

You mean, dumping you?

You dumped my daughter?

Dude!

I did...

Uh...

- Not? I didn't. He... He...

He didn't.

See, I... I thought he did,
but it was a misunderstanding.

Yeah. Happens.

How can you be confused
about being dumped?

- Um...
- Ooh...

Texting, Mother.

Oh, yeah. It was the text.

- It was a wrong text.
- Yeah.

- It was an emoji thing.
- Yeah, you got it.

Hey! Who's ready to get married?

- That's me. Hi. That's
me. Oh! Right on.

Okay, you all saw that, right?

Ooh, poltergeist.

So, are you sure it's okay
that I'm sitting this close?

Oh, don't be silly.

- You're practically family.
- Okay.

Mm. Thanks.

Sorry.

I thought they were

supposed to wear
matching dresses.

Oh-ho, that's a good sign.

- What's happening?
Honey, it's okay.

I'm sure it's just the weather.

The lights will be on soon.

Sorry, folks!

Lights won't be
back anytime soon.

Power lines are freezing up.

And we just blew a generator.

You... You don't have a backup?

Uh, this was our backup.

We've got a team working on it.

I just don't know how
long it's gonna take.

Daddy?
- No, not to worry, honey.

I'll get you to the
altar. It's plenty bright.

No, no, no, no, no.

I can't walk down
the aisle in blue light.

I'll look like a zombie bride.

- A beautiful zombie bride.
- Aw.

Maybe, we can get some candles?

You know, just like

- a few hundred or...
That's a great idea.

Sorry, folks.
Building fire codes.

We've got an expert builder
right here in the family.

Kip knows all about fire
codes. Don't you, Kip?

- Uh...
- Yeah, bro. What can we do?

Um...

- How about oranges? Huh?

Oranges, sir?

Yeah, I mean, oranges
aren't against code, right?

Huh. - Where's your kitchen?

Okay, I need some olive oil,

a couple of kitchen scissors

and a couple of mops, all right?

You three start
cutting these in half.

And then, you start helping
me scoop out the flesh. Okay?

Is this a Clementine thing?

Actually,

it's an orange
thing. Just trust me.

You're obsessed
with citrus fruit.

No, we'll save it for later.

- Get these over to them.
- Do you need more?

- Grab a new mop.
- Ah, great, thanks.

Yeah. Just start cutting
some more wicks.

Yeah, right here.
On the top. I'll get it.

How do you know how to do this?

Well, I once defended
a vegan chef for stalking.

She was guilty as hell,

but she taught me
how to make candles.

And my spelt muffins are to die!

- Really?
- Mm-hmm.

All right.
- Yeah, try lighting a couple.

- All right.
- Here you go.

Hey!

This is great!

Thanks.

We did it!

Hey, this guy!
- Congrats!

Look at you, saving the wedding!

- Wow! Amazing. I'm married!

- Kip!
- I know!

- Cheers!
- Cheers!

I know, he's the
best. One second.

Hi, can we play the other song?

The one we talked
about? Thank you.

I'm gonna come find you.

- Okay. Yeah.
- Have a drink.

Have so much fun.

Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you.

My sister is so happy.

And, I mean,

you saved the wedding.

Oh, no, you're so welcome.

I mean, I'm just glad it worked.

I've never tried that before.

- Yeah, right.
- No, I'm serious.

Stop.

- Well...
- Well...

It's probably time
for you to go, huh?

Yeah.

But we should, uh, toast
the newlyweds, right?

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

Yeah, I mean, it would
be rude if Kip didn't.

Of course, yeah.

I'm gonna go get some
champagne. Be right back.

Okay, Mata Hari,

who's the imposter?

Just some guy I met tonight.

Tinder? Hinge?

- Christian Mingle?
- No! I, uh...

I walked into my apartment
and he was in my bed.

- Are you medicated?
- We have the same address.

You know, I keep a spare
key under the flower pot,

it's a very long story.

So, this random hot
man appears in your bed

and agrees to play
your ex-boyfriend

at your sister's wedding?

You think he's hot?

I'm putting out a
spare key tonight.

Nice to meet you, Kip.

Hello, Veronica. Small world.

You know, it's funny.

You look just like a
public defender I know.

But he's about to be engaged
to a redhead mattress model.

Yeah, I'm, uh, just
here helping out a friend.

Oh! Pretty friend.

Future fiancé must
really trust you.

Yeah, actually she does.

But, um, I would appreciate it

if you could keep
this between us.

Yeah. Absolutely.

Congratulations,
sister. You did it.

Love you, sister.

And Kip is amazing!

I'm sorry I ever doubted you.

Thank you.

Who is that, that
Kip is talking to?

That's, um...

It's Brian's Aunty V.

Wait. You gave away my plus one?

Yeah, but you weren't
answering your phone

and I thought that you
were just gonna flake on me

like you always do. So...

Nice.

So, you want us to
share the halibut?

Yeah, we'll get you
some extra bread.

That's...

That's gross.

You're staying for dinner.
You're staying for dinner.

I promise it's the last thing
I'll ask of you this evening.

But you have to stay for dinner.

Okay. Okay.

- Okay, you're gonna stay? Yes?
- Okay. Yeah, no.

- Yes.
- I beg.

Yeah, please, just let me...

Okay, but you're gonna stay?

- Yes, of course.
- You're gonna stay.

- Promise? Okay.
- Yeah, just let me...

Okay, no, okay, but
you're gonna stay, yeah?

Yeah. Yes, yes, yes.

Hey, Clem!

Did you just hang up on me?

What? No, no, no. Of course not.

Sorry, there is just
bad reception here.

Bad reception? Where are you?

Uh, well, like I said, I
had to make a quick stop,

and then I'll
explain everything...

Hello?

Ooh.

Hey, sweetie.

"Sweetie"? It's almost-00.

Where the hell are you, Griffin?

Kip? Kip, Kip, Kip.

- Time for pictures.
- Oh, yeah. Okay. I'll be

- right over there. Okay, yeah.
- Okay.

- I'm sorry. Was that a bride?
- Uh, yes.

Your quick stop
was at a wedding?

Um...

Sort of. Yeah.

Whose wedding? And who is Kip?

Oh. Uh, me. I'm Kip.

It's, um... It's
just a nickname.

I've never heard
anyone call you Kip.

Really? 'Cause,
uh, back in college...

Kip!

All my law school
buddies was like...

Come on! Pictures!

Yeah, just give me
one second, okay?

No, no, no. Come...

Because I have to
finish this call, okay?

- That was a law school buddy?
- Um...

And Griffin, what
are you wearing?

That's not the suit I got you.

Kip, we gotta talk
manufactured siding at dinner.

- Table 14. And we will.

I promise you, I'll
be right there. Okay?

Just gotta wrap this up, okay?

I'm sorry, are you
staying for dinner?

Griffin, we had a deal.

Um, yeah, I know. Listen, Clem.

This friend is having
a family emergency.

And they just, they
really, really need my help.

Is this some kind
of genetic defect?

You never say no to
anyone. Except for me.

No, look, I'm
really sorry, okay?

You're gonna have to go on

and then I'll meet you
there at the party late...

Kip. Come on.

We're all waiting for you.

Oh, you know, I
really don't need

to be in the wedding pictures.

Nonsense. You're
practically family.

I'm really not.

Come on.

Yeah, yeah, that's sweet.

Oh, Margot. Kip,
Kip, Kip. Come on in.

- Oh, God, no, he's fine.
- Dude. Dude.

Do we, like, stick
our tongue out?

- We're like, "Ahh!"
- Maybe less tongue.

Let's do it!

One, two, three.

And we jump!

- I was early.
- Okay.

I want to pinch your cheeks.

I just want to
pinch your cheeks.

One, two...

Here we go. One, two, three.

Just us, just men.

Oh, that was so
much fun, you guys.

- You already got me...
- No, no. No.

So sweet!

- Kip.
- Come here, come here.

- Jump in.
- Get in the edge. Just there.

So, here's to food poisoning.

If I hadn't gotten
those bad clams

and ended up in
the emergency room,

I wouldn't have met
the hottest nurse in town

when I was at my very worst.

Well, he was green.

And adorable.

- To food poisoning
and fate! Yeah!

And thank you to everyone
for coming out tonight.

It's always been my dream

to get married on
New Year's Eve.

And, um, to my
parents for footin' the bill.

It's coming out of
your inheritance.

- Dad!
- And to my maid of honor,

my sister.

Who will be late
to her own funeral

but who really
came through for me

when I needed her the most.

Aw.

And to Kip, who until
tonight, let's face it,

I don't think any of us
believed you existed.

I know.

But who really
saved the wedding.

- Kip, Kip, Kip, Kip.
- Kip, Kip, Kip, Kip.

- Okay. Oh, stop.
- No, stop. Stop, stop. Okay.

Speech. Kip, Kip, Kip, Kip.

- Speech.
- No, no, no.

I mean, I'm just
happy I could help.

I want to hear how you two met.

Ah! Me too.

Ah, no. This is Carrie
and Brian's night.

You know? It's not about us.

Yes, to Carrie and Brian! Whoo!

- Oh, no. That's okay.
- It's all yours, bro.

That's okay.

All right.

Okay.

Okay.

- How did we meet?
- How we met!

Um... Well...

It was a chilly, gray
October morning.

And I was taking
the ferry into the city

to meet a friend,

when I looked down

and I see the most
beautiful girl I've ever seen

in this incredible
carnation pink coat.

She wore it tonight.

It's vintage.

And I guess you could
say I caught her by surprise.

Yes.

And from that moment on, it's...

it's been a non-stop adventure.

I've scaled tall buildings,

I've braved snow by
steed and carriage.

I built fire and saved the day.

When I'm with her, I just...

I feel like I'm a superhero.

Let's just say that from
the moment we met,

I felt like I was home.

So, uh, to Margot!

To Margot!

- Cheers.
- Cheers, cheers.

Jesus, that was amazing!

Even if it was all bullshit.

Most romantic
bullshit I ever heard.

That was an impressive
speech, Counselor.

Mm.

Thanks. It was
surprisingly effortless.

- Hmm.
- Don't let this one get away.

Real subtle, Dad.

But seriously,
thank you. I owe ya.

Yeah, you do.

Did you tell them to play this?

No, I didn't. I swear.

- Come on.
- No.

- Wow.
- Aw.

Don't forget to
email me that bid.

Oh, yeah. You got it, Rita.

Are you taking side
jobs with my aunts?

Yeah, well, they're having
some foundation issues.

- Mm.
- It's complicated.

Contractor stuff.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Margot.

Kip?

Kip? I thought he was Kip.

Well, don't look at me.

- What are you doing here?
- What do you mean,

what am I doing here? I
texted you I was coming.

Okay, I told you I blocked you.

My God! You look
so beautiful, I...

- Okay, okay.
- Listen, no, no, no.

You ever heard of the saying,

"You don't know what
you have till it's gone"?

Have you ever heard the saying,

"Not the time or the place"?

- I understand that.
- You need to leave.

- Let me just talk to you.
- Look,

this is so embarrassing.
You need to go.

Sorry.

Hold on. Is he
wearing my tuxedo?

- Hey, come on. Margot.

She already asked
you to leave, all right?

Is he wearing my tux?

- You're wearing my tuxedo.
- Yes.

Have you ever
heard of the saying,

"Never wear another
man's tuxedo"?

You know, you've been
touching a lot of things

- that are not
yours. Okay. Okay.

- Guys, this is... Come on.
- I don't think so.

That is a thing. No, no,

- this has nothing to do...
- Margot, it's okay.

- This is between
us. Okay? Let's not.

You cannot just steal
another man's clothes...

Don't put your
finger on my chest.

Steal another man's girlfriend.

Don't put your finger
on my chest again.

Or else what? What you gonna do?

All right.

Are you threatening me
with a deadly weapon?

- Yes.
- Karate chop!

- Forgive me, Sensei.
- Kip!

- What is happening?
- He started it.

Kip up!

Okay. So, you really
want to do this, huh?

I guess. Okay.

She told you I was
a black belt, right?

Uh, yes, she did.

Griffin, Griffin,
he's not worth it!

Griffin? Who's Griffin?
- I have no idea.

But the new Kip is hot.

- Brian, do something!
- Here we go.

Oh!

- Okay.
- Hit him, Kip!

Uh, Kip number one! Whoo!

Really, a shoe?

Oh, shit.
- Are you good?

Whose shoe is that?
You guys look beautiful.

- Not the cake.
- Did we mess up the cake?

- No, we're good.
- Cake's okay.

It's okay. It's okay.

Thank God. The cake's okay.

Guys, you're two grown men!

- Stop it!
- Oh.

You guys, that's enough!

- Hold on a sec.
- Yeah, try it.

- Hey, not bad. Pretty good.

Did you just rip
my Armani pants?

You just ripped my groin!

Kip, we're done. We're
done, you guys. That's enough!

I think we're done!

That's it, Kip.

Go to sleep!
- Kill him!

Go to sleep! Go to sleep, bitch!

That's not how it works.

You done?
- Yeah.

This is like Godzilla
versus Bambi.

We're done. For sure.

Cake's safe.

Is that a ring?

You're proposing tonight?

Uh-huh.

You guys literally just met.

- Not to me, to his
girlfriend. Oh, shit.

Kip has another girlfriend?

Wow. What a dick!

Oh, my God!

You brought a fake
date to my wedding?

No, no, no. He's...
He's not a fake date.

He's just... He's just not Kip.

Oh, so not-Kip is in all
of our wedding photos!

- Dude! I'm so sorry. It's...

I was... I didn't...

Congratulations,
sister. You really did it.

You restored my belief

in your ability to ruin
absolutely everything.

I'm so sorry. I didn't...

Sorry...

Hold on. Margot! Wait!

Excuse me. Sorry.

Margot! Margot.
Margot, I'm sorry.

Sorry for what? You
didn't do anything.

- I mean, this is all my fault.
- No.

Look, I should have
told you, okay? I tried.

- I tried to tell you.
- Tell me what?

That you're practically
engaged to a supermodel?

No, okay.

- She's just a regular model.
- It doesn't matter!

I mean, it's none
of my business!

Carrie's right. I'm
a total disaster.

I mean, what kind of a crazy
person brings a total stranger

to one of the biggest
days of their sister's life?

Well, I mean, in all fairness,
we did meet last night.

Look, I'm sorry I
brought you into this.

- You're so nice.
- No, I'm not.

I'm not nice, okay? This...

Like, what I'm doing
here, this is not nice, okay?

This is really selfish.

What?

I don't know. When I
saw you the other night

in the parking lot, I just...

I felt something that I've
never felt before, and I...

I wanted to wrap
my arms around you,

and just tell you that
everything was gonna be okay.

And then 24 hours later,
you needed my help, and...

I don't know, I just...

I couldn't say no.

Babe.

- Oh, God.
- Are you okay?

- Oh, my God.
- Yeah, I'm...

What are you still doing here?

What are you still doing here?

Dude, it's over, all right?
She doesn't want you here!

Don't tell me what
she wants. All right?

- Okay, guys...
- I know she doesn't want

some asshole who
can't make up his mind.

- Really? I'm an asshole?
- Okay, you guys! Stop it!

Aren't you, like,
engaged or something?

That's enough!

Griffin is leaving.

He has somewhere
very important to be.

Yeah. That's right.

I'm leaving. You win.

- Congrats.
- Hey.

- What about my tux?
- Kip!

Do you know how long it
took me to get that tux tailored?

- Enough.
- Oh, my God!

I'm so sor... Did you want...

You want your tux?

Yeah, sorry, you
should've just said that.

- First thing. Oh!
Here we go again.

- Naked guy! Griffin, stop!

Right on cue.
-$2,200.

- Okay, stop!
- $3,200, but who's counting?

Griffin, what are you doing?

I got to give him back his tux.

- It's $2,800.
- Is he taking his clothes off?

- I swear, he's a nudist.
- This wedding keeps getting

better and better.

- It's, like, sticky.
- You can't go outside

like that! You're
gonna freeze! Stop it!

Fuck your cufflinks.

Sir? - What?

You can't be naked in the lobby.

Sorry. Sorry.

Thank you very much.

I don't have any
cash, but... Sorry.

Well, it's been a
little slice of heaven.

Yeah.

Unforgettable.

I guess I'll just pay
for the dry cleaning.

Come on.

Look, why are you even here?

- I came to see you.
- You broke up with me.

I know, and I made a mistake.

Babe, just give us
another chance. Please.

I need a drink.

Sorry, my love.

Damn it!

Ugh. Shit.

Fuck.

Hey, man. It's me again.

Uh, could you take
me to the bus stop?

Sure. But it looks like
you forgot somethin'.

Oh, yeah. The
tux. It wasn't mine.

Not the tux. The girl.

She wasn't mine either.

Could've fooled me.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah!

Hey, man. You forgot your pants.

Oh, man! I might do the same!

Hey.

I know, yeah. I'm on
the list. Griffin Reed.

You good? Thank you.

His name is Griffin?

I know.

Did you tell him?

No, I didn't tell him.

Wow. Talk about fate.

It's not fate! I wish people
would stop using that word.

But you like him.

So? He's proposing to some
model named Clementine.

- Oh! Clementine Pratt?
- You know who she is?

I've seen her Instagram.

She's got, like,
10,000 followers.

She's so pretty.

Well, if he's so
in love with her,

what's he doing at
a wedding with you?

He's a really nice guy.

- No one's that nice.
- It doesn't matter!

He's on his way to
propose to someone else,

and the real Kip
came back for me,

so everything worked
out just the way it should.

Okay? There's your... fate.

Yeah! It was fire!

Really? I wish I was there!

Yeah, you should have come.

I'll come next time.

Better! Appreciate it!

Wait, do you have my social?

Oh, yeah. Your
pictures are so great!

Okay, baby.
- Hi!

Hi, uh, can I just get a
whiskey neat, please?

Hey, you're Clem's guy, right?

- Oh, uh, yeah.
- Grover?

- Griffin.
- Ah, yes.

Griffin, the... lifeguard.

- Lawyer.
- Ah. Good on you, mate.

- Hi!
- Hey, babe.

- Hi.
- Hi.

Look who decided to show
up to their engagement party.

What the hell happened
to you? Were you mugged?

What are you wearing?

Oh, no. I'm sorry.
Look, my phone died.

It's just, it's been a
really long night, so...

Yeah. For me.

Do you know how
embarrassing it is to show up

to your own New
Year's Eve party alone?

I know. I'm...

I had sponsors
waiting for our arrival!

I'm sorry. I'm really sorry.

And what am I
supposed to tell Zara?

- I don't know. I...
- You know what?

It doesn't matter. I will
smooth it up with Zara

and you can wear
them for the wedding.

Okay.

Don't worry.
Everything's all set.

- Okay?
- Okay.

Please give it up for the
fabulous Clementine Pratt!

Thank you! Thank
you. My goodness.

Don't worry. I'm not gonna sing.

But I just wanted to thank James

for hosting this
incredible party tonight!

I don't know about you all,

but I have a feeling
this is going to be

the best New Year's Eve ever.

Babe, I think you're on.

Okay!

- Who's ready for
the bouquet? Hey.

Okay, on the count of three.

- Ready? Okay!

Three, two...

One! No, I'm just kidding.

- What?
- Just one second

before you guys do that.

This is my favorite part of
the wedding, by the way.

But I just have to do this.

- What the hell? I
really appreciate it.

Would you guys just mind?

Many of you guys
don't know me, okay?

But, uh, I am Kip. The real Kip.

And I just want to apologize

for what happened
with the imposter Kip.

I kinda liked the imposter.

And I don't want
to steal the thunder

from the beautiful bride.

- Oh, no. Yes.

We wouldn't want to do that. No.

This has to be done.
- Right.

This is very important.

Okay.

Oh, shit.

You know, whenever
I imagined myself

proposing to my future wife,

I always knew it would
only happen once.

When I imagined the man of
my dreams proposing to me,

I wanted it to be
once in a lifetime.

And I'd never give that moment

to someone who I
had any doubts about.

Twenty-four hours ago,

all I wanted was for you
to ask me to marry you.

Twenty-four hours ago,

I'd convinced myself
that you were the woman

I wanted to spend
the rest of my life with.

But that's...

Changed.

Um...
- What?

I... I thought this
is what you wanted.

- I can't. I can't
do this. What?

I can't let you do this.

I'm really sorry. I... I can't.

- What?
- I'm sorry.

Come on. Get up.

Happy New Year,
everyone! Ha-ha-ha-ha. Here.

- Yeah. Yeah.
- Okay.

Just... Just stop for
just a second. All right?

I know that I'm
embarrassing myself, but...

I treated you
terribly last night.

- And I am sorry. Last night...
- Yeah.

The truth is, I have spent
the last 24 hours thinking

that I've been making the
biggest mistake of my life.

I... actually think
that I love you,

and I... I do want to marry you.

You "think"? What,

are you... are you crazy?

You don't love me.

And you know what?
I... I don't love you.

I mean, I had more fun tonight,

a more honest,
genuine connection

with a total stranger
than I've had with you

in the last three months!

Wow. Kick a guy while he's down.

I'm just being honest.

You know it's true.

And you'll bounce
back, I'm sure.

Goodbye, okay?

For real this time, please.

Goodbye.

Oh, my God.

Okay...

Ted, are you hungry?

Hey, buddy. Happy New Year.

Yum, yum, yum.

Good night, pal.

Wow, okay.

So you're just sneaking
out of my wedding?

I was going more
for graceful exit.

Oh, okay. Right.

Just, uh, quick question first.

- Why do you hate me?
- Hate you?

- Yeah.
- I don't hate you.

I worship you.

- Okay. Come on.
- What? It's true!

I wish I were more like you.

I mean, you're
brave. You're smart.

Everywhere we go,
everybody just adores you.

I mean, you're marrying the
best guy in the world tonight.

Your life is perfect.

You think my life is perfect?

Are you crazy?

No, the only difference
between me and you is

I go for what I want.

And you're too afraid to try.

So, stop trying to be me.

Just go be you.

You're right.

Thank you.

Yeah.

I'm sorry I ruined your wedding.

No. Hey, it's fine.

You know, Brian said that
the fight already went viral.

I love you, sister.

I love you too.

Hmm.

- Ten! Nine!
- Oh!

- Eight! Seven!
- Um...

Go. Go.
- Yeah, okay. But don't forget

- brunch tomorrow.
Six! Five! Four!

- Okay.
- Yeah?

Three! Two! One! Happy New Year!

Hi, Ted.

I love what you've
done with my apartment.

Margot?

I rang the bell, like,
a thousand times,

but you didn't
answer, so I just...

I don't have a bell.

Oh. I wonder what that was.

Wait, hold on. So, what...
what are you doing here?

Uh, you left this at my house.

I thought it might be
important. Legal stuff.

Yeah. Thank you.

- You're alone.
- Um, yeah.

And not engaged.

- And...
- No...

Wait. How did you know?

Instagram.

Ah, right. Yeah.

Wait, hold on. So, you
came all the way over here

at-00 a.m. just
to return my bag?

Yeah.

Well, and to show you something.

You want to show me something?

Yes.

Unzip.

Is this a trap?

- No!
- Okay.

- Just do it!
- All right. All right.

The stupid things we
do in college, right?

Um...

That's a...

A griffin.
- What...

I have a griffin tattoo.

You got that in college?

Yeah.

I had just broken
up with my boyfriend.

I was a little drunk.

And I told the
guy to surprise me.

So... surprise!

Oh, thank God, it's
not a Tweety Bird.

This is insane.

You have a griffin on your body.

If you have
"Margot" on your ass,

I really am calling the police.

Oh, not yet, but
that's a good idea.

Are you fucking kidding me?

Oh, shit! Clementine!

What are you doing here?

You didn't even
call to check on me.

What... We broke up.

I want my Sonicare.

What?

My Sonicare toothbrush.

I actually had to pay
for that. I want it back.

- Now?
- Yes, now!

Before you rub it
all over your mouth,

or clean your toilet with it.

Or let someone else use it.

Yeah, okay, all right.
Just one second.

Thanks.

Wait.

I know you.

Are you the girl
from Bennigan's?

Yes.

- You stole my Uber.
- So, you stole my boyfriend?

No. Not... Not really.
Not... Not on purpose.

How long has this been going on?

Minutes! Seconds. Not long.

What kind of person steals

someone's boyfriend
on New Year's Eve?

I didn't mean to. I swear.

I think this is everything.

I need a bag!

Bag, yes. One second.

Did you know he was supposed

to ask me to marry him tonight?

Um, was he?

It was so humiliating.

He basically dumped me
in front of the whole party.

Some people
even got it on video.

I'm sorry. Tissue?

- Thanks.
- That's... That's awful.

I've seen your Instagram.

Your pictures are really pretty.

Thanks.

It's Facetune.

Oh. That's a good app.

Okay, I have a bag.

She doesn't need a
bag! She needs a hug!

And more tissues!

Seriously?

- Griffin!
- Okay.

You do seem like a nice person.

I'm trying to be.

Oh, no. Okay.

You know, I really hope
you don't wake up tomorrow

and realize there was never
anything real between you two.

And that you just ruined

the entire course
of all of our lives

for some meaningless,
romantic New Year's Eve fantasy.

Okay, so, it looks like
we're out of Kleenex,

but I found some TP.

I have to go.

I'm sorry. I'm...
I'm really sorry.

Wait, Margot,
where are you going?

Margot?

What did you do?

Nothing.

All right, take your stuff.

Margot?

Margot, wait.

What just happened?

I can't do this.

I can't be responsible
for ruining your life

like I do everyone else's.

Oh, you're not ruining
anything. Okay?

Listen, Margot,
I'm crazy about you.

You don't even know me.

I mean, a couple hours ago,

you were gonna propose
to somebody else.

Yeah, and it would've been
the worst mistake of my life.

Come on, 15 Maple Drive?

Breakfast at
Tiffany's? Your tattoo?

That's got to mean
something, right?

You know this is fate.

I am so tired of everyone saying

that everything is fate.

Okay, who doesn't love
Breakfast at Tiffany's?

15 Maple Drive?

I'm sure if you googled it,

there are thousands of results.

You could've woken
up in anyone's bed.

Yeah, but I woke
up in yours. Okay?

So, call it fate,

or dumb luck, or
chance, or whatever it is,

but I still get to choose, okay?

And I... I choose you.

And... And I choose...

I choose to do the right thing.

Maybe fate is that
girl waiting for you

in your apartment right now.

You don't believe that.

Come on.

Thank you for
helping me tonight.

I mean, you really are

the nicest human I've ever met.

And before you say it,
"nice" isn't a bad thing.

It's a great thing.
It's a rare thing.

So, don't ever stop.

Wait, Margot, please, just...

You know, when the
universe gives you a gift,

you don't just say no.

Happy New Year, Griffin.

Oh, shit.

Oh, God.

Hey!

Oh, there he is!

Happy New Year,
everybody. Hello, hello!

Honey, what
happened to your face?

Oh, it's fine,
it's fine. I just...

Yeah, last night,
I ran into a fist.

- Fist?
- Yeah.

Well, you should
see the other guy.

Yeah, right?

So, where is Clementine?

Yeah, yeah, where's
this gorgeous fiancée

your mother keeps showing
me on Instacart, huh?

Instacart! Um...

She's, uh, actually not
gonna make it today.

What happened? Oh, she
didn't get your cold, did she?

No, she's fine, actually.

Um, yeah...

It's actually just... It's
not gonna work out.

Yeah, I'm sorry to
disappoint you guys.

Oh, disappoint who? Us?

Yeah, I know, December
30th is like your special day,

- and I kind of
blew it. Hell, son...

Son, it's just a day.

I mean, you'll
find your own day.

And your own girl.

Oh. I love you.

I love you more.

Okay, I'm gonna
go to the bathroom.

- I'll be right back. All right.

- We'll be right here.
- Okay? All right.

Okay.

Dude!

What?

- Hey, Kip's here.
- Oh, my God.

What are you doing here?

Wow.