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Previously, this season on Vanderpump
Rules... These lovers bestow a request
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ordain their forthcoming nuptial... I
did not ask Ariana to be a prizeman for
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f***ing reason.
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I think I want you to officially be a
groomsman.
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I'm also sitting here with someone
pretending that they haven't had a
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boyfriend.
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Lala, you knew him for about five
minutes.
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You said something about her too,
though. You saying that is defending her
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there. I don't really give a f***.
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Everything was okay in Sheena Shalem?
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Um, she's my date tonight.
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My husband's in the studio.
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Nothing else to do. She was in the
studio all night. Last night, texting
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Hey, it's 3 a .m. You okay?
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It scares me.
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I think he's working really hard on
something, but I don't think it's their
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relationship. He doesn't come home at
night. I'm sure.
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What about you? Are you going to marry
him?
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No.
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Check back with me in five years' time.
You don't want to work? That's fine. But
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when I come home, I like to have a
sandwich. You've taken her out of
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You've taken her away from all of her
family.
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When you're dating a girl from the
South, they expect you to have kids and
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marriage by 22 years old.
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What about if we did a new young
restaurant and had a couple of young
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Cheers to marriage being the best new
thing in my life. Oh, my God.
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Talk to me in a year.
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I have to deal with her going to the
f***ing dark side.
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I wish Katie was the guy. I wish Katie
was... Seriously, the way you've been
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behaving lately, I'm concerned of taking
the responsibility to ordain a
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marriage. So we were going to be
unflappable, and we were so flappable.
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We'll not be affable anymore.
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No. For the casing, I am happy and
honored now to officiate
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your wedding. Aw. Yeah. Me and Jackson
wanted to give you your wedding present
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little early.
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Oh my god.
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Wait, wait. You can't have a wedding
without your brother here. Come on now.
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You're going to make me cry.
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Let's try not to cry just yet.
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Look at it. I can't do that.
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Oh, puppies.
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Please stand.
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I mean,
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I knew she was going to look good.
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I just didn't know she would look this
good.
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Friends, family and loved ones, I want
to welcome all of you today to celebrate
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one of life's greatest moments. We are
all here tonight united by the love of
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Katie and Schwartzy.
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Now, being married for over 34 years, I
have some suggestions for the two of
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you.
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Run.
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You are never too old to hold hands. And
it's important that you say I love you
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at least once.
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support each other when difficult
decisions must be made, and respect each
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and each other's opinions.
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This is the most beautiful wedding I've
ever seen, and seeing Katie and Schwartz
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so in love and happy, just everything
about it is perfect.
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Tom? Yeah? Papa, would you like to say
your vows?
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Yeah.
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Actually, you know what? I don't think
I'll do this. I don't think I'll do
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Actually, I do need them.
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Okay.
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Oh, man. So moving west to pursue my
dreams was one of the most exciting
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decisions of my life. But with a
fledgling bank account and a leaky air
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mattress, I had resigned to being L
.A.'s least eligible bachelor.
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But with my spirit high and my mojo low,
I was introduced to Katie Maloney.
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Yeah, Kristen Doty. Shout out to Kristen
Doty.
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When I introduced them, Tom literally
would chase her. And he would just like
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text me and he's like, I don't know if
she likes me and I don't know.
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I'm afraid she won't date me and all
this.
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And I'm like, you were obsessed with
her.
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And I've been told that romance in L .A.
was fleeting and often short -lived,
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often lasting only one night, according
to my roommate, Jax Taylor.
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It has been.
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A roller coaster of a relationship,
highs and lows.
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But six years later, I honestly can't
imagine not waking up to you every
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morning.
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We almost became like another
relationship, another
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failed romance in La La Land. But we
persevered and we worked really hard.
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And I feel like we practically had to
tear down our relationship and rebuild.
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But I stand here today in this moment
before my dream girl, my beautiful bride
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-to -be, before my friends and family
who I love dearly, I really do.
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I can honestly say from the bottom of my
heart that I've never loved you more
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than the snow marine here.
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And, yeah.
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All I can think of is how much I love
Schwartz, how much I love Katie.
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How much do I love love?
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Oh, Tom.
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Hi. My bubble up. Hi.
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Six years ago, I met you, and I knew
from that minute that you were put on
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planet for me. Oh.
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And when you met my family and you
treated them like they were your own,
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when I knew that I had to marry you.
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Old tomato or no old tomato.
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In six years, it's been a lot of love, a
lot of laughter, a lot of tears.
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At times, I definitely thought my world
would end because I can't imagine my
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world without you in it.
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And I didn't want to know what that was
like, but we did persevere together.
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And because of that, it's shown me that
some of life's biggest challenges that
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are to come, that we will be able to do
them together because it is our
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commitment to one another and our love
that has carried us through.
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I can't wait for the rest of my life
with you.
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I'm not crying.
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Santa balls to cry or not me.
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Tom, please place the ring on Katie's
finger.
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This ring is not on a string.
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I know it's not the engagement ring that
you deserve.
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Putting a ring on a string and putting
it around the next thing I love you, I
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want to be committed to you. It's not
really what a girl pushing 30 wants to
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hear. This is the real deal.
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This is my happy ending. I, Katie, take
thee, Tom. I, Katie, take thee, Tom. To
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be my husband.
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To be my husband.
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In sickness and health.
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In sickness and health.
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For richer and richer.
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For richer and richer.
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Tom, do you take Katie to be your wife?
Do you promise to love, honor, cherish
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and protect her, forsaking all others
and holding only unto her forevermore?
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I do.
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Katie, do you take Tom to be your
husband? Do you promise to love,
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protect him forevermore?
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I do.
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Katie and Tom, it is with a full heart
and much pride and love that I now
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pronounce you husband and wife.
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Check that out. It is my pleasure to
introduce you to Mr.
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and Mrs.
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Schwartz.
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I did it.
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Got married.
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Feels good.
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Coming up.
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Listen, I don't think things are going
well for us anymore.
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We've had many, many restaurants, and I
haven't seen many groups of people like
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this group.
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They fight each other, even sleep with
each other sometimes, and they all have
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fantastic way of working things out.
None of it makes any sense to me, but it
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sure makes sense to them.
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Ladies and gentlemen, welcome, for the
first time in Hudson White, Tom and
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Katie!
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The Schwartzes have arrived.
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People used to think that Jax and I were
the glue that held this group together.
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But really, Katie and Schwartz hold this
group together.
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Jax and I were just the glue that
everybody sniffed.
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Who doesn't think about getting married
when they're at someone else's wedding?
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Of course, I'm like picturing, what do I
want? Is it going to happen? When is it
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going to happen?
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I'm ready for Carter to put a real one
on it so I can stop wearing my fake
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engagement ring.
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I think I want that salmon.
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Thank you very much.
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I feel like I'm the master at
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serving Lisa.
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I've served her hundreds of dinners.
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What's one more?
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Can I do chicken macadam and salmon? I
have to give her butter.
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There we go. Me and Peter together
forever.
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Oh, Jesus.
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Hell yeah. What?
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Oh, yeah.
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I just felt like I wanted to get you a
little bit of everything.
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Thank you, Stassi. You're very welcome.
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No,
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no, I was with her the entire time.
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Dude, I already ripped the pants right
in the crotch. Look at that. I need some
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dick room.
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So these came like this, and then I
said, I need you to put in like an extra
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panel of like the dick room. You know
what I mean? Yeah, dude.
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Lisa, hey, I want to tell you real
quick.
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Come here.
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Lisa, today was amazing. You did so well
today. Thank you. I adore them both. I
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hope that they have the strength to
fight for.
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You know, their relationship.
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What about you? You want to marry
Ariana, don't you? I know you do.
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What are you going to do?
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Well, I've never asked her.
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You've never asked her?
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No. How do you know she's definitely
going to say no?
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I was actually like Ariana when I was
younger. I didn't want to get married or
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have children, but then things change,
and it certainly turned out to be the
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best thing I ever did.
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It's time for you guys, though, to grow
up, though, isn't it?
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You've been the best bartender we've
ever had.
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Thank you, Lisa. Maybe you have. We've
got new premises and I normally don't
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like having partners because in the 33
restaurants we've had we've only done it
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once.
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But maybe you could think about that.
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Partnering up with you?
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What?
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That would be a time for you to take
another step.
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I don't even know what to say.
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00:14:11,530 --> 00:14:13,230
You don't have to say anything. Just
think about it.
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For Lisa Vanderpump to look at me as
more than a bartender that works for
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but actually a potential business
partner.
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Hold on, I'm going to go feed the boys.
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So in Denmark, we have a tradition that
when the groom leaves his bride, all the
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men can come up and kiss the bride.
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I have a new...
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appreciation for Danish tradition.
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You guys
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hear me good?
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Everybody, yes.
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All right, Tommy.
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00:14:57,480 --> 00:15:01,200
What's up, Billy? I love you. I love you
too, bro. You're a great brother and a
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00:15:01,200 --> 00:15:01,859
good man.
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00:15:01,860 --> 00:15:05,060
Thank you. I think you and Katie will
have beautiful kids together. Because
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know why? Because you guys are both
beautiful.
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00:15:07,320 --> 00:15:09,660
I love you, man. I love you too, dude.
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00:15:10,570 --> 00:15:11,570
Thanks, Billy.
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I just want to say I'm blessed to be in
the presence of all you fine
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individuals. Tom Sandoval, didn't happen
without you, sir. Oh, dude, yeah.
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00:15:23,490 --> 00:15:24,490
And Jack.
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And also I want to say God bless Katie
and Tommy. I love you guys.
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Jack and Sandoval surprising me by
bringing my brothers to my wedding is
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best. wedding gift I could have ever
asked for.
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Oh, Billy, wait.
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I'm not going to embarrass anyone. Don't
worry.
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00:15:45,000 --> 00:15:46,140
Hey, Billy. You already went.
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00:15:46,400 --> 00:15:49,240
Are you the third one? I already spoke.
Where's the third one? Where's the third
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one? For some people, one speech is
enough.
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00:15:52,140 --> 00:15:57,020
For other people, like my brother Billy,
I just wish the best for Tom.
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You're a cool -ass motherfucker.
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Tom's the pimp, all right?
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00:16:02,680 --> 00:16:04,440
No, that's the wrong term.
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00:16:04,840 --> 00:16:06,880
Billy, come here and hug me. It's what
he used to be.
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00:16:14,550 --> 00:16:19,870
You know, I'm just not really a fan of
Schwartz. Like, I don't know, he just
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00:16:19,870 --> 00:16:21,050
rubbed me the wrong way.
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00:16:22,690 --> 00:16:24,170
Said nobody ever.
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00:16:26,930 --> 00:16:31,970
I've never met a single person who spent
two seconds with you that doesn't
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00:16:31,970 --> 00:16:33,190
fucking love you, man.
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You're an amazing guy, dude.
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I guess let's share this with Tom and
Katie.
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00:16:37,960 --> 00:16:40,360
Yeah! Thanks, Tom.
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00:16:40,740 --> 00:16:41,740
Thanks, dude.
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We love each other so much.
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Katie and Schwartz are the most generous
couple. They've taken care of me a
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00:16:50,460 --> 00:16:51,460
million times.
238
00:16:51,980 --> 00:16:58,780
It's been a very special thing
239
00:16:58,780 --> 00:17:02,540
to be able to watch two best friends
commit their lives to each other.
240
00:17:03,100 --> 00:17:04,200
That's really f***ing cool.
241
00:17:05,579 --> 00:17:12,560
If you would have told me two years ago
that Stassi Schroeder
242
00:17:12,560 --> 00:17:16,200
would be at our wedding giving a toast,
I would have told you you're out of your
243
00:17:16,200 --> 00:17:17,200
f***ing mind.
244
00:17:17,220 --> 00:17:18,599
What's up, Stassi?
245
00:17:19,619 --> 00:17:22,920
But now our wedding would feel
incomplete without her.
246
00:17:23,180 --> 00:17:25,700
You guys, thank you for the f***ing
awesome speeches.
247
00:17:26,079 --> 00:17:27,800
I love you.
248
00:17:28,300 --> 00:17:29,740
Thank you, everyone.
249
00:17:30,120 --> 00:17:31,680
Hi, we're partying. Let's party.
250
00:17:37,500 --> 00:17:38,880
Yes. All right, guys.
251
00:17:41,440 --> 00:17:44,980
Harbor Party calls themselves a yacht
rock band. I don't know if it's because
252
00:17:44,980 --> 00:17:48,460
this is the type of music you would
listen to on a yacht or just because
253
00:17:48,460 --> 00:17:50,720
like to dress up as if they're on a
boat.
254
00:17:52,740 --> 00:17:55,180
It's just music you can dance to for
every generation.
255
00:17:55,560 --> 00:17:56,560
What more do you need?
256
00:17:56,820 --> 00:17:59,560
It's about dance time. It's a party all
night.
257
00:18:01,800 --> 00:18:02,800
Hey,
258
00:18:04,120 --> 00:18:05,120
bow tie is going off.
259
00:18:12,400 --> 00:18:13,400
It smells so good.
260
00:18:15,020 --> 00:18:16,020
Hot.
261
00:18:16,560 --> 00:18:17,620
Are you having fun?
262
00:18:20,120 --> 00:18:26,700
Listen, I don't think things are going
well for us anymore.
263
00:18:27,640 --> 00:18:29,720
Huh? I'm just going to say it.
264
00:18:33,440 --> 00:18:34,419
Coming up.
265
00:18:34,420 --> 00:18:40,160
Never vote anyone worthy of reproducing
with. What are you saying?
266
00:18:41,450 --> 00:18:42,450
Can you get married?
267
00:18:51,670 --> 00:18:52,070
I
268
00:18:52,070 --> 00:18:59,030
don't think
269
00:18:59,030 --> 00:19:00,550
things are going well for us anymore.
270
00:19:01,790 --> 00:19:05,130
Huh? I just don't think things are going
well with us anymore.
271
00:19:06,230 --> 00:19:10,370
I love you as a person, but I just
think...
272
00:19:13,340 --> 00:19:14,340
I'm kidding.
273
00:19:14,500 --> 00:19:17,360
Oh, my God. I was about to smack you. I
couldn't even do it. It hurt my feelings
274
00:19:17,360 --> 00:19:18,360
to even say it.
275
00:19:18,440 --> 00:19:20,560
I'm sorry. Don't do that to me ever.
Okay, I love you.
276
00:19:20,780 --> 00:19:24,580
He was this close to getting his dick
chopped off and fed to the chicken.
277
00:19:24,880 --> 00:19:26,420
You had me tearing up, Dad.
278
00:19:26,760 --> 00:19:29,140
Oh, sweetheart, you know there's nothing
that would ever happen.
279
00:19:29,440 --> 00:19:35,000
That being said, I want you to know
marriage for us is going to happen.
280
00:19:37,200 --> 00:19:40,080
Now it's just a matter of when, how,
whatever.
281
00:19:40,360 --> 00:19:44,350
But I just want you to know that there
is... There is light at the end of the
282
00:19:44,350 --> 00:19:47,070
tunnel. You mean the world to me, and I
love you more than anything.
283
00:19:47,370 --> 00:19:48,370
You're making me cry.
284
00:19:48,470 --> 00:19:49,470
No, I don't want to make you cry.
285
00:19:49,530 --> 00:19:52,150
I just want to let you know that I love
you to death.
286
00:19:53,730 --> 00:19:56,510
I love Brittany very much, and if I'm
going to get married, it's definitely
287
00:19:56,510 --> 00:19:59,470
going to be her. She's the best thing
that's ever happened to me, and when the
288
00:19:59,470 --> 00:20:01,210
time comes, she'll be the one.
289
00:20:01,450 --> 00:20:02,770
All right, let's go dance with
everybody. Okay.
290
00:20:17,930 --> 00:20:20,330
Baby. When? Oh, my God. A couple of
years.
291
00:20:20,910 --> 00:20:22,570
Get everything in order.
292
00:20:22,790 --> 00:20:23,930
You can't be a pregnant waitress.
293
00:20:24,930 --> 00:20:26,210
I love weddings.
294
00:20:26,730 --> 00:20:27,730
I have one.
295
00:20:28,130 --> 00:20:30,350
I just girl party without being married.
You can wear it through and Tom can
296
00:20:30,350 --> 00:20:32,830
wear the dress. I mean, he kills it in a
dress.
297
00:20:34,410 --> 00:20:37,970
Put him earlier today. We ever got
married? Can I wear this to you? And he
298
00:20:38,030 --> 00:20:39,350
wait, does that mean I have to wear a
dress?
299
00:20:40,090 --> 00:20:42,050
And in there's the chance.
300
00:20:42,270 --> 00:20:43,410
Well, I'm saying there's a chance.
301
00:20:44,870 --> 00:20:45,870
I'll be back.
302
00:20:50,890 --> 00:20:51,890
That was everything.
303
00:20:52,470 --> 00:20:53,470
That was everything.
304
00:20:53,690 --> 00:20:55,330
The mosquito just blew my nose.
305
00:20:55,670 --> 00:20:56,670
Oh, no.
306
00:20:56,750 --> 00:21:00,850
He's gone. Yeah, he's gone. I could feel
his little legs in my, like, nostril.
307
00:21:03,110 --> 00:21:08,670
So I have to tell you something.
308
00:21:08,950 --> 00:21:14,110
Lisa, she just bought a play, and she
wants to be part of it.
309
00:21:16,950 --> 00:21:18,130
I know, right?
310
00:21:18,700 --> 00:21:21,640
So cool. She just told me. I didn't even
know what to say.
311
00:21:22,120 --> 00:21:23,120
Oh, my God.
312
00:21:24,480 --> 00:21:26,540
I've been a bartender for 10 years.
313
00:21:27,180 --> 00:21:29,120
I've always wanted to open up my own
bar.
314
00:21:29,360 --> 00:21:34,200
It's really cool to see Tom actually
have something in his future outside of
315
00:21:34,200 --> 00:21:35,200
being a sir.
316
00:21:35,240 --> 00:21:38,940
I mean, Lisa and Ken, they've been
together for what?
317
00:21:39,200 --> 00:21:41,960
Longer than you've been alive. Exactly.
Longer than I've been alive.
318
00:21:42,240 --> 00:21:45,340
And look at them. They're, like, they're
always so happy. They're always so
319
00:21:45,340 --> 00:21:49,340
supportive. Their priority is always
each other. I think of you the same way.
320
00:21:50,200 --> 00:21:56,720
But, like, I've never felt anyone worthy
of reproducing with. You know what I
321
00:21:56,720 --> 00:21:58,060
mean? Like, having a kid with.
322
00:21:59,180 --> 00:22:01,020
Oh, my God. I'm sorry.
323
00:22:01,220 --> 00:22:02,220
What are you saying?
324
00:22:03,920 --> 00:22:06,960
Until I met you, like, I never really.
325
00:22:07,680 --> 00:22:10,280
Kids was, like, so 20 years from now.
326
00:22:11,180 --> 00:22:15,460
I imagine myself being a dad one day. I
would love to have a little Tom or
327
00:22:15,460 --> 00:22:16,840
Ariana running around.
328
00:22:17,980 --> 00:22:19,460
I'd love that little rug rat.
329
00:22:22,420 --> 00:22:24,740
Listen, I'm not going to propose to you,
so don't think that.
330
00:22:24,980 --> 00:22:29,200
I would never think that you would be so
tacky as to propose to anyone at
331
00:22:29,200 --> 00:22:30,200
someone else's wedding.
332
00:22:30,400 --> 00:22:32,140
But, like, I got to be real.
333
00:22:33,040 --> 00:22:34,700
Can you get married at some point?
334
00:22:36,280 --> 00:22:37,400
I don't.
335
00:22:41,570 --> 00:22:47,150
I just love Tom so much, but I don't
know if I want to get married. And what
336
00:22:47,150 --> 00:22:52,570
says to me is not changing my mind, but
I'm not going to shoot him down. Not
337
00:22:52,570 --> 00:22:53,570
right now, at least.
338
00:22:53,830 --> 00:22:55,090
I don't know what's wrong with me.
339
00:22:56,350 --> 00:22:57,410
Nothing wrong with you.
340
00:22:59,590 --> 00:23:02,090
How do you feel about Kate? Can we do
Kate?
341
00:23:02,810 --> 00:23:03,970
Tom! What do I do?
342
00:23:04,540 --> 00:23:07,300
We're going to cut the bottom layer
together. Hey, Troy, can you fix my
343
00:23:07,520 --> 00:23:08,319
The bottom?
344
00:23:08,320 --> 00:23:11,140
Wait, no, Tom, the bottom layer. I think
every wedding I've ever done, they go
345
00:23:11,140 --> 00:23:12,140
like this.
346
00:23:16,300 --> 00:23:21,500
Not on the shirt.
347
00:23:21,840 --> 00:23:22,719
Not on the shirt.
348
00:23:22,720 --> 00:23:23,720
Lick it up right up.
349
00:23:24,620 --> 00:23:26,520
I don't like what I don't like. I'm not
a nose guy.
350
00:23:27,400 --> 00:23:30,540
It's your wedding day. You lick it off,
whether you're a nose guy or not.
351
00:23:30,780 --> 00:23:31,780
Don't put it in my face.
352
00:23:34,020 --> 00:23:36,260
Me personally I would have stuck her
foot in the cake
353
00:24:04,300 --> 00:24:05,300
Let's just test it.
354
00:24:05,980 --> 00:24:11,700
I really don't know where Shay is.
355
00:24:11,920 --> 00:24:14,140
I've barely seen him since the ceremony.
356
00:24:14,400 --> 00:24:15,420
He's just MIA.
357
00:24:15,680 --> 00:24:17,960
So did you think about what I said?
358
00:24:18,260 --> 00:24:22,660
First of all, I'm just so honored. I
don't want you to be honored. I think
359
00:24:22,660 --> 00:24:27,260
you could do a great job. I know I
would. What I was thinking is a bar and
360
00:24:27,260 --> 00:24:31,660
restaurant always needs a great face and
somebody who's lovable and amenable.
361
00:24:32,360 --> 00:24:33,860
So what about...
362
00:24:34,060 --> 00:24:36,180
Schwartzy could be like the face of it.
363
00:24:36,400 --> 00:24:38,400
I mean, he would love it. I would love
it too.
364
00:24:38,680 --> 00:24:42,660
When I make Yemo, I literally said to
him, do you want to be partners?
365
00:24:42,960 --> 00:24:44,480
He's got this likability.
366
00:24:44,880 --> 00:24:49,400
And Schwartzy has that same joie de
vivre.
367
00:24:50,580 --> 00:24:54,380
As a front man, Schwartzy would do a
great job.
368
00:24:54,600 --> 00:24:58,900
And then you could deal with all the
crap that I've had to deal with. You
369
00:24:58,900 --> 00:24:59,900
what we'd call it?
370
00:24:59,920 --> 00:25:02,280
What? Tom Tom. What?
371
00:25:03,080 --> 00:25:05,520
You think that'd be the funniest thing?
Are you kidding me?
372
00:25:05,720 --> 00:25:07,840
Don't you think? Lisa! It would be so
much fun.
373
00:25:08,080 --> 00:25:09,080
Tom, Tom!
374
00:25:10,120 --> 00:25:12,640
What? What? Come here. Probably not
sober.
375
00:25:13,140 --> 00:25:16,100
You do not look like you have a... Yeah.
376
00:25:16,400 --> 00:25:18,300
That was the first time I've only kissed
you on one cheek.
377
00:25:18,500 --> 00:25:21,060
I like the one cheek. It's more of a
Miami thing. How are you doing?
378
00:25:21,300 --> 00:25:22,299
I feel good.
379
00:25:22,300 --> 00:25:23,900
I'm buzzed, but I'm not drunk.
380
00:25:24,909 --> 00:25:28,790
Talking about something, this is going
to be a surprise to you. We've taken on
381
00:25:28,790 --> 00:25:31,230
another premises just around the corner
from Sir.
382
00:25:31,670 --> 00:25:36,910
And we were talking to Tom about asking
him to get involved as a partner with
383
00:25:36,910 --> 00:25:40,150
us. You give him an inch, he's going to
take. He's going to wait.
384
00:25:40,610 --> 00:25:44,470
Not about me. Listen, it's about you.
Oh, me?
385
00:25:44,790 --> 00:25:47,390
Maybe both of you. You don't want me
behind the bar, right?
386
00:25:47,610 --> 00:25:51,590
No. No. Definitely not. A bar always
needs a place.
387
00:25:52,370 --> 00:25:57,870
Someone to greet them and we were
thinking of calling it Tom Tom What?
388
00:26:00,970 --> 00:26:04,510
Coming up you don't want any new
friends. I'm saying I'm doing the best
389
00:26:04,510 --> 00:26:07,550
can we all are I really am doing the
best that I can
390
00:26:07,550 --> 00:26:14,430
So glad we
391
00:26:14,430 --> 00:26:15,430
did
392
00:26:18,540 --> 00:26:23,200
A bar always needs a place, and we were
thinking of calling it Tom Tom.
393
00:26:23,960 --> 00:26:24,960
What?
394
00:26:26,280 --> 00:26:27,440
No, I can't.
395
00:26:28,560 --> 00:26:33,140
Are you serious? I can't let you do
that. If it fails, it's on us. Listen,
396
00:26:33,140 --> 00:26:35,200
never done anything that fails, and
we're not going to do that now. Yeah,
397
00:26:35,200 --> 00:26:38,560
exactly. There's too much pressure on
me. No, Schwartz, stop for a second.
398
00:26:38,560 --> 00:26:41,540
like one little whiff of responsibility,
and he's just like... No.
399
00:26:41,820 --> 00:26:47,360
Listen, you just enjoy your wedding. I'm
going back to L .A. tomorrow morning,
400
00:26:47,480 --> 00:26:49,540
and we can talk later, okay?
401
00:26:50,060 --> 00:26:53,520
Schwartzy is allergic to commitment, so
the fact that we've got one big
402
00:26:53,520 --> 00:26:57,240
commitment today, and that being Katie,
I don't want to push it. But I'm serious
403
00:26:57,240 --> 00:26:58,560
about it, and you know me.
404
00:26:58,860 --> 00:27:01,740
You have a great sense of humor when it
comes to business. You don't joke about
405
00:27:01,740 --> 00:27:02,740
it. All right, I'll see you guys later.
406
00:27:02,800 --> 00:27:03,800
Okay, bye, Lisa.
407
00:27:04,500 --> 00:27:05,500
Give me more beer.
408
00:27:05,640 --> 00:27:06,660
Let me ask you something.
409
00:27:08,080 --> 00:27:10,680
So, are you busy in, like, three months?
410
00:27:11,100 --> 00:27:15,560
Because if not, maybe you want to open
up a f***ing bar with Lisa Vanderpump
411
00:27:15,560 --> 00:27:17,220
called Tom Tom.
412
00:27:17,460 --> 00:27:18,460
My God.
413
00:27:18,640 --> 00:27:21,960
I should just stop overthinking it and
say yes. Exactly.
414
00:27:23,000 --> 00:27:24,600
I'll kick your ass.
415
00:27:30,360 --> 00:27:32,500
Why don't you ever include me in your
Snapchat?
416
00:27:33,120 --> 00:27:34,680
Oh, my phone died.
417
00:27:36,680 --> 00:27:40,060
People think I'm annoying, but if you're
going to tell me that I pretended to
418
00:27:40,060 --> 00:27:45,260
say my phone died, then what's the
answer to that question?
419
00:27:46,080 --> 00:27:47,080
That's mean.
420
00:27:48,180 --> 00:27:51,420
Ariana, I like you, and you hurt my
feelings when you're mean to me, so can
421
00:27:51,420 --> 00:27:52,420
just, like, start liking me?
422
00:27:52,680 --> 00:27:54,320
Maybe you're, like, closing yourself
off.
423
00:27:54,600 --> 00:28:00,380
Every spare minute that I have is spent
toward work or developing friendships.
424
00:28:00,740 --> 00:28:04,780
Just say you don't want any new friends.
I don't have to be friends with Stassi
425
00:28:04,780 --> 00:28:08,490
because... Nobody has to be friends with
Gothie. I'm not saying I don't want any
426
00:28:08,490 --> 00:28:11,690
new friends. But then what point are you
trying to make? I'm saying I'm doing
427
00:28:11,690 --> 00:28:12,690
the best that I can.
428
00:28:13,090 --> 00:28:14,090
We all are.
429
00:28:14,490 --> 00:28:16,870
I'm just, I really am doing the best
that I can.
430
00:28:17,070 --> 00:28:18,070
Okay.
431
00:28:19,570 --> 00:28:24,050
Trying to put everything in and trying
to do this cocktail book.
432
00:28:24,490 --> 00:28:30,890
I'm really trying to, like, not be a 30
-something -year -old bartender in a
433
00:28:30,890 --> 00:28:31,910
restaurant that's just...
434
00:28:32,160 --> 00:28:35,880
Doing nothing like I'm putting so much
effort into things and I'm just like
435
00:28:35,880 --> 00:28:39,920
hoping that something happened, but you
know Yeah, but you're doing all of that.
436
00:28:40,000 --> 00:28:40,739
All right.
437
00:28:40,740 --> 00:28:44,420
No, it's okay. It's okay weird I don't
know why I'm doing this right now. It's
438
00:28:44,420 --> 00:28:49,880
okay to be emotional and like feel it
and don't feel sad about feeling bad I
439
00:28:49,880 --> 00:28:53,020
have wanted to crack her for so long
like
440
00:28:54,880 --> 00:28:58,220
So interesting. What is this? Nobody is
great all the time.
441
00:28:58,500 --> 00:29:02,080
You're not a human being if you're not
feeling sad at certain times.
442
00:29:02,320 --> 00:29:06,220
You know, I guess Stassi's not as bad as
I thought she was. She's taking the
443
00:29:06,220 --> 00:29:09,000
time to comfort me. No, she's not a
total monster.
444
00:29:09,500 --> 00:29:13,260
We're friendly acquaintances, and we
love the same people.
445
00:29:13,900 --> 00:29:16,520
So don't say I'm mean. I'm not mean.
446
00:29:16,920 --> 00:29:18,220
I'll fucking kill you.
447
00:29:18,440 --> 00:29:21,220
Like, how would you kill me? Okay, well,
it would be slow.
448
00:29:22,220 --> 00:29:23,900
Because if I'm going to do it...
449
00:29:24,160 --> 00:29:27,880
I'm going to make it her. Maybe we have
more in common than we think because I
450
00:29:27,880 --> 00:29:30,920
like the thought of murdering people
too. I mean, if we couldn't go to jail.
451
00:29:31,180 --> 00:29:32,180
Hashtag murder.
452
00:29:32,820 --> 00:29:34,820
For life. But like the number four.
453
00:29:35,200 --> 00:29:38,260
L -Y -F -E.
454
00:29:39,520 --> 00:29:41,060
Are we the same person?
455
00:29:43,480 --> 00:29:47,220
We've got one more for you. We need you
all out here dancing because you know
456
00:29:47,220 --> 00:29:48,280
you've got to get down.
457
00:29:48,520 --> 00:29:49,680
We hope you've had a good time.
458
00:29:51,360 --> 00:29:52,360
Bye, baby.
459
00:29:53,140 --> 00:29:54,140
Bye.
460
00:30:02,510 --> 00:30:05,370
Because Schwartz is such a good friend,
you know, I surprised him with the
461
00:30:05,370 --> 00:30:08,270
triplets. But I have another surprise
for him.
462
00:30:09,890 --> 00:30:11,250
Surprise! I brought my trumpet!
463
00:31:19,050 --> 00:31:21,430
She's going to go over the whole band.
Say my, my, my, yeah.
464
00:31:22,330 --> 00:31:23,570
Tonight is the night.
465
00:31:24,090 --> 00:31:25,090
I'm not ovulating.
466
00:31:29,070 --> 00:31:32,170
I get too mushy, but I just want to say
I love you guys. We don't even hug it
467
00:31:32,170 --> 00:31:35,770
out because we've had enough mush. Oh, I
want to hug it out. Yeah.
468
00:31:36,230 --> 00:31:41,010
I love Jax and Tom so, so much. They're
like family.
469
00:31:41,450 --> 00:31:42,630
I'd take a bullet for them.
470
00:31:43,670 --> 00:31:44,770
Maybe like from the leg.
471
00:31:45,390 --> 00:31:49,710
Six years ago, we were sitting on your
hardwood floor and Pinterest did wedding
472
00:31:49,710 --> 00:31:52,350
stuff. And Tom would come home and be
like, what are you guys doing? We're
473
00:31:52,350 --> 00:31:53,109
don't look.
474
00:31:53,110 --> 00:31:58,730
There's not one person that would say
one negative thing about you. You're
475
00:31:58,730 --> 00:31:59,730
like me.
476
00:31:59,910 --> 00:32:03,170
How about being me? You know what? They
might not like you because you're
477
00:32:03,170 --> 00:32:04,170
friends with me.
478
00:32:05,270 --> 00:32:07,450
What's that like to have somebody love
you that much?
479
00:32:09,550 --> 00:32:10,550
It's amazing.
480
00:32:11,950 --> 00:32:13,290
It's going to come for you.
481
00:32:14,170 --> 00:32:15,170
It is.
482
00:32:15,330 --> 00:32:19,990
Listen, it might take me, like, a few
years, maybe 10 years, 20, whatever.
483
00:32:19,990 --> 00:32:23,390
not go there. But I will find it. Are y
'all going to leave me?
484
00:32:23,650 --> 00:32:26,910
No, we have plenty of room for some pee,
and I'm like, I don't want y 'all to
485
00:32:26,910 --> 00:32:27,609
leave me.
486
00:32:27,610 --> 00:32:30,970
I hate it when you guys fuck. Well, I
mean, he fucked my girlfriend.
487
00:32:31,350 --> 00:32:32,350
What's the accident? Why?
488
00:32:32,950 --> 00:32:37,490
Maybe third time. I never knew I would
actually really give a fuck about you,
489
00:32:37,570 --> 00:32:40,450
but, like, if somebody fucks with you,
I'm going to fuck them up.
490
00:32:40,650 --> 00:32:42,290
What if a bear attacked him right now?
Oh.
491
00:32:43,120 --> 00:32:46,580
I would eye gouge him and then rape him.
No, I wouldn't rape the bear. If he
492
00:32:46,580 --> 00:32:49,980
consents it, I would rape the bear,
yeah. Wait, if he consents it's not rape
493
00:32:49,980 --> 00:32:51,300
then. Even if he's like, eh.
494
00:32:51,640 --> 00:32:53,540
Ew, that doesn't sound like a bear being
raped.
495
00:32:54,360 --> 00:32:59,800
Coming up. He goes MIA for six days,
doesn't answer any of my calls, doesn't
496
00:32:59,800 --> 00:33:00,860
talk to me. This is all bullshit.
497
00:33:02,040 --> 00:33:03,660
Since you got married, it's been
bullshit.
498
00:33:23,920 --> 00:33:30,600
I have become extraordinarily invested
in their lives.
499
00:33:30,780 --> 00:33:32,360
And I'm so honored.
500
00:33:33,319 --> 00:33:36,540
really touched to have been part of
their wedding. Look, this is where it
501
00:33:36,540 --> 00:33:38,220
Maloney Shorts right there.
502
00:33:38,480 --> 00:33:40,740
That's official. Oh, yeah. That's a cool
document.
503
00:33:40,980 --> 00:33:42,260
Thank you, Lisa. It's official.
504
00:33:42,540 --> 00:33:45,080
Official, official. I'm a married man.
That's my wife.
505
00:33:46,380 --> 00:33:47,380
Love you, Bubby.
506
00:33:47,540 --> 00:33:49,500
All right, off you go, young thing.
507
00:33:49,760 --> 00:33:52,900
Wait, should I take this? You've got to
send this. Oh, no, give it to Casey. I
508
00:33:52,900 --> 00:33:53,519
got it.
509
00:33:53,520 --> 00:33:54,520
Exactly,
510
00:33:54,740 --> 00:34:00,200
yeah. I really want people to look at
Tom and I as a couple who is very
511
00:34:00,200 --> 00:34:01,560
committed to one another.
512
00:34:01,880 --> 00:34:03,830
Thanks. God, it's over.
513
00:34:04,110 --> 00:34:06,210
You were amazing, but I knew you were
going to be amazing.
514
00:34:06,490 --> 00:34:10,850
And I really hope that we can be viewed
as a couple who fights for the
515
00:34:10,850 --> 00:34:15,929
relationship and is committed to the
relationship, not just to top it out or,
516
00:34:16,010 --> 00:34:17,230
you know, to sweep things under.
517
00:34:17,610 --> 00:34:21,150
I want people to view us as that couple
that we made it.
518
00:34:21,870 --> 00:34:22,728
Don't deal.
519
00:34:22,730 --> 00:34:24,650
You're my husband now. I love you.
520
00:34:36,199 --> 00:34:42,199
the tone please record your message hey
lisa it's sheena um i am about two
521
00:34:42,199 --> 00:34:48,880
minutes away it's been a very rough
morning so i apologize for being late
522
00:34:48,880 --> 00:34:51,340
um i'll see you in a second
523
00:35:07,880 --> 00:35:08,578
You okay?
524
00:35:08,580 --> 00:35:09,580
I've been better.
525
00:35:09,860 --> 00:35:11,560
I know what this is about.
526
00:35:12,240 --> 00:35:14,360
Um, let's go sit down.
527
00:35:18,200 --> 00:35:24,960
What is it you seem really... Yeah, um,
there's a lot of things that I
528
00:35:24,960 --> 00:35:27,340
found out recently about Shay.
529
00:35:27,560 --> 00:35:29,680
I've heard rumbling, Sheena.
530
00:35:30,549 --> 00:35:34,590
He goes MIA for six days, doesn't answer
any of my calls, doesn't talk to me.
531
00:35:34,610 --> 00:35:37,510
Well, what's the conversation you have
with him when he comes back after six
532
00:35:37,510 --> 00:35:41,050
days? I know the conversation I would
have with Ken would be a very short one.
533
00:35:41,190 --> 00:35:42,190
We haven't talked much.
534
00:35:42,490 --> 00:35:45,890
So he's back in your apartment after six
days? No, no, no, no. He has not stayed
535
00:35:45,890 --> 00:35:47,050
with me once in two weeks.
536
00:35:48,070 --> 00:35:53,010
All summer I've been acting like
everything's okay, it's all peachy keen
537
00:35:53,010 --> 00:35:56,070
rainbows and sunshine, and it's not.
538
00:35:56,600 --> 00:36:00,240
I've not only been lying to all of my
friends, I've been lying to myself.
539
00:36:00,600 --> 00:36:01,600
So where is he staying?
540
00:36:01,740 --> 00:36:02,820
He's staying with his parents.
541
00:36:03,440 --> 00:36:06,880
This is all bullshit. This has all been
in the last two weeks. This hasn't been
542
00:36:06,880 --> 00:36:09,400
like for eight months. Since you got
married, it's been bullshit.
543
00:36:10,120 --> 00:36:13,920
Hasn't it? Yeah. Since the day you found
out he was addicted to pills, it's all
544
00:36:13,920 --> 00:36:14,920
been bullshit.
545
00:36:15,660 --> 00:36:19,480
It was such a huge red flag. He hadn't
been honest with her about his
546
00:36:19,860 --> 00:36:23,320
Like, oh, my knee's hurting, so I'm
going to take a Vicodin. So he's bloody
547
00:36:23,320 --> 00:36:26,460
addicted to it then. You're doing this
every day and you're hiding it from me.
548
00:36:26,460 --> 00:36:28,260
feel like I've been cheated on.
549
00:36:29,420 --> 00:36:34,080
I think Sheena in her gut knew there was
a problem, but she's that girl that
550
00:36:34,080 --> 00:36:35,820
doesn't want to believe there's a
problem.
551
00:36:36,080 --> 00:36:37,680
And now he's hiding things from me
again.
552
00:36:38,520 --> 00:36:41,900
Like, I know he's taking shit again. I
just found out two days ago.
553
00:36:42,640 --> 00:36:44,560
I've been taking Adderall for months.
554
00:36:46,640 --> 00:36:52,980
One of my friends pulled me aside and
said Shay was lying to get pills and he
555
00:36:52,980 --> 00:36:55,400
said they were from other people and he
was just middleman.
556
00:36:55,700 --> 00:36:59,240
Friday morning I woke up and I just had
a really just like a weird feeling.
557
00:36:59,520 --> 00:37:03,540
So I just like started like checking
emails and I have a notice overdraft
558
00:37:03,540 --> 00:37:08,180
protection. I'm like overdraft? There's
like seven grand in that account. And I
559
00:37:08,180 --> 00:37:10,200
opened my app and there was $32.
560
00:37:11,220 --> 00:37:12,740
So it cleared your account?
561
00:37:13,160 --> 00:37:15,900
Like that right there just broke me.
562
00:37:16,400 --> 00:37:19,620
I love him so much. Do you love him? I
do.
563
00:37:20,200 --> 00:37:26,000
I can't picture my life without him, but
I can't picture my life moving forward
564
00:37:26,000 --> 00:37:27,020
in this way.
565
00:37:27,340 --> 00:37:29,780
Have you had this discussion with him?
I'm talking to him tonight.
566
00:37:30,100 --> 00:37:32,320
I'm sorry, but he drops the ball on
everything.
567
00:37:32,680 --> 00:37:36,420
I mean, do you have a relationship at
home? Do you connect together
568
00:37:36,420 --> 00:37:37,420
He's never at home.
569
00:37:39,240 --> 00:37:40,800
You're young enough to start again.
570
00:37:41,200 --> 00:37:43,860
We were talking about starting a family
next year.
571
00:37:44,490 --> 00:37:48,050
Leaving up for a house. Starting a
family with someone who's not even
572
00:37:48,770 --> 00:37:52,390
I know how desperately Sheena wants this
to work out.
573
00:37:52,650 --> 00:37:57,350
But if she can't look him in the eyes
and trust him, she doesn't have a lot.
574
00:37:57,810 --> 00:38:01,190
I want him to lie to me again. I want
him to look me in the eyes and lie to me
575
00:38:01,190 --> 00:38:02,490
and tell me he's not taking anything.
576
00:38:03,690 --> 00:38:05,870
Okay. Then I'm going to meet with the
lawyer.
577
00:38:06,150 --> 00:38:07,350
With a divorce lawyer? Yeah.
578
00:38:09,670 --> 00:38:10,910
Okay. Because I'm done.
579
00:38:14,180 --> 00:38:16,160
You know why I'm at the studio all the
time?
580
00:38:16,620 --> 00:38:17,800
That's where I love to be.
581
00:38:18,120 --> 00:38:21,220
Don't tell you guys to stay up all night
not doing drugs.
582
00:38:46,210 --> 00:38:47,610
Oh, my God, I didn't even hear you walk
in.
583
00:38:49,250 --> 00:38:50,250
Hi.
584
00:38:51,490 --> 00:38:52,490
It's been three years.
585
00:38:53,510 --> 00:38:55,770
Kind of a dare, but I've kept that.
586
00:38:57,570 --> 00:38:58,570
Cool.
587
00:38:59,050 --> 00:39:01,970
Do you have anything you want to say, or
do you want me to just go?
588
00:39:02,410 --> 00:39:03,770
Well, I'll hear what you have to say.
589
00:39:04,290 --> 00:39:05,990
I mean, I want to know why you didn't
come home.
590
00:39:06,230 --> 00:39:09,570
I had a moment in time where I was like,
I need to figure some things out
591
00:39:09,570 --> 00:39:12,870
without involvement from everyone else.
592
00:39:14,030 --> 00:39:15,030
I went home.
593
00:39:15,390 --> 00:39:16,650
And I missed you the whole time.
594
00:39:19,630 --> 00:39:23,950
But to disappear for six days and have
no communication with me? You never
595
00:39:23,950 --> 00:39:27,130
listen. But guess what? I got your
attention when I didn't come home,
596
00:39:27,830 --> 00:39:30,150
I've been trying for so long.
597
00:39:31,090 --> 00:39:32,790
I just want to be happy.
598
00:39:33,350 --> 00:39:34,990
But I can't be happy without you.
599
00:39:35,510 --> 00:39:40,530
Like, I know that. But this relationship
we're in right now is not good. I
600
00:39:40,530 --> 00:39:41,428
married you.
601
00:39:41,430 --> 00:39:43,650
I love you. I still love you.
602
00:39:43,960 --> 00:39:49,240
I'll always love you. We're going
through something right now that... I
603
00:39:49,240 --> 00:39:50,240
know.
604
00:39:50,560 --> 00:39:55,020
It's easy for a scapegoat for me because
I've been labeled a druggie. So you're
605
00:39:55,020 --> 00:39:56,020
not on drugs?
606
00:39:56,300 --> 00:39:57,660
No. No pill?
607
00:39:58,040 --> 00:39:59,040
Nothing. No.
608
00:40:00,120 --> 00:40:01,120
Okay.
609
00:40:01,500 --> 00:40:03,160
Don't talk to me like that, though.
610
00:40:03,580 --> 00:40:07,220
People don't talk to me with respect.
You don't. Your family doesn't. Your
611
00:40:07,220 --> 00:40:08,340
friends are friends.
612
00:40:09,060 --> 00:40:10,940
It's always I've been on a different
level.
613
00:40:11,520 --> 00:40:14,660
I talked to Lisa today and she just... I
don't give a shit about her.
614
00:40:16,320 --> 00:40:19,300
I have my own mother. Lisa can go and
talk to her kids.
615
00:40:21,020 --> 00:40:24,940
The way I've been treated, like how you
treat me, how a lot of people treat
616
00:40:24,940 --> 00:40:25,899
me... By taking care of you?
617
00:40:25,900 --> 00:40:29,940
How? Financially? Because that's about
it. That's all you do. I don't cook for
618
00:40:29,940 --> 00:40:31,400
you. I don't do anything.
619
00:40:31,620 --> 00:40:34,480
I'm just saying, like, I... Yeah, but
guess what? It hasn't been like that in
620
00:40:34,480 --> 00:40:35,840
long time. Because you don't come home.
621
00:40:38,220 --> 00:40:40,140
You know why I'm at the studio all the
time?
622
00:40:40,700 --> 00:40:42,960
That's where I'd love to be. We're
passionate about what we're doing. Don't
623
00:40:42,960 --> 00:40:45,620
how you guys just stay up all night not
doing drugs.
624
00:40:48,920 --> 00:40:52,260
It's because we're passionate about what
we do and we love what we do.
625
00:40:52,500 --> 00:40:54,740
When you find that, you'll get it.
626
00:40:54,980 --> 00:40:58,700
So all this cash that's been coming out
of the account, all of that is studio
627
00:40:58,700 --> 00:41:00,040
equipment, music.
628
00:41:00,400 --> 00:41:01,580
You're not buying drugs.
629
00:41:01,880 --> 00:41:03,200
I swear to God, I'm not.
630
00:41:04,120 --> 00:41:07,700
Jay is denying being back on drugs
and...
631
00:41:08,030 --> 00:41:12,050
Although I feel I'll never know the
truth, I know for sure that this is not
632
00:41:12,050 --> 00:41:13,050
man I married.
633
00:41:13,090 --> 00:41:15,390
I now declare you to be husband and
wife.
634
00:41:15,630 --> 00:41:16,730
You may kiss your bride.
635
00:41:18,050 --> 00:41:20,870
This marriage has been tainted since day
one.
636
00:41:21,630 --> 00:41:27,050
This relationship needs to be done on
paper, legally, emotionally, physically,
637
00:41:27,090 --> 00:41:28,090
in every way.
638
00:41:28,750 --> 00:41:30,430
I'm meeting with a lawyer on Friday.
639
00:41:32,790 --> 00:41:36,170
I know divorces aren't easy.
640
00:41:37,390 --> 00:41:39,070
And it's not something I ever wanted.
641
00:41:41,770 --> 00:41:47,630
Everything isn't supposed to last
forever. But you know I'm right.
642
00:41:56,330 --> 00:42:01,090
Your room is obviously a disaster per
use. All your clothes are just in a
643
00:42:01,150 --> 00:42:04,050
There's a couple suitcases. I don't know
what you need to get, but...
644
00:42:14,870 --> 00:42:18,630
I plan on spending the rest of my life
with him and growing old with him and
645
00:42:18,630 --> 00:42:19,630
having kids with him.
646
00:42:24,650 --> 00:42:31,650
All I know is
647
00:42:31,650 --> 00:42:33,290
we're done.
648
00:42:54,410 --> 00:42:57,490
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