All language subtitles for Vanderpump Rules – S5E04

Previously on Vanderpump Rules... I'm
taking care of you guys tonight.

Would love it if you guys would be my
groomsmen.

What is that? What is that thing in the
butt cheek in the middle? It's your

steak, motherfucker.

What the...

I'm also sitting here with someone
pretending that they haven't had a

boyfriend. I don't have a married
boyfriend. You bought the Range Rover

that. Of course I can afford a Range
Rover.

How are you through the headlock?

My head's doing okay.

Still on. Are you fired yet? I haven't
spoken to Lisa about that. I have to

to her tonight if she comes in.

If I catch you drinking, doing whatever
you're doing, if you do any of that,

we're done.

I saw you talking to Lala. And I was,
like, completely taken out of contact.

was very unexpected.

And I'm not going to talk to her. It
just looks like my friends are

my decisions.

Why don't people have hooks for purses?
Under the table?

Yeah. You better invent that and sell it
to everybody.

It exists. Like millions of dollars.

My little baby brother Jeremy has moved
in with Tom and I.

Dude, whatever you want to wear today of
mine. I know you don't have a lot of

your clothes here yet.

Yeah. Before Jeremy started staying with
us, I would say Tom and I were having

sex probably three times a week.

Now, it's more like maybe once every
other week.

So, I mean, I guess that's different.

Is that Lala's Range Rover?

What? Yeah.

Dude, that thing's sick.

Hey.

What's up, girl?

Hi, guys.

Hey. How is everybody?

Great. How are you?

You know, I'm feeling so fresh and so
clean today. I say the same shit to

in the mirror every morning.

I'm not driving.

Maybe I should be. Maybe no one would
question me. You need like another car.

You need a burner car.

The people at Sir asked me about my car
and how that was paid for, but I don't

owe any of these people any explanation.

I'm sucking dick for a lot more than
Range Rovers, honey.

All right. How are you doing today?
Good. How are you? I want to be comatose

after this.

You want to start with the buffalo
chicken? You want to start with the

chicken cheese fries? Of course. No
problem.

I think I'm going to do some pepperoni
fries.

All right. I'll be back.

What did you guys do last night?

I went to James's and we just like had
champs and I got his apartment not so

mannish because his girlfriend Raquel
comes in today.

Have you met her?

She's 21.

But she's a pageant girl, so I know that
she wants to like be a goody two

-shoes. So Raquel's going to stay.

in the living room with the sheet wall.

So you would understand my concern.

I'm not gonna bump pee -pees with my man
behind a screen.

This is my sleeping area, my bed, my
Union Jack.

Go in the bathroom and turn on the sink.

It's too small, there's no way.

You can do it in the airplane, you can
do it in that bathroom.

Who does it in the airplane?

I've done it before.

Like a regular commercial plane?

Yeah.

Gangster. Gangster.

Right? You think Raquel will keep him in
line?

I mean, I hope so.

I mean, I know Lisa would probably love
to give him, like, literally a million

chances, but... She can only do so much
before it starts to look bad on her.

I mean, Lisa has a reputation she has to
maintain, and James is testing that

boundary. I think he has one chance
left.

You need to be really careful.

Perfect.

I've met this girl that I'm completely
in love with. Her name's Raquel and I

her at Pumps on New Year's Eve while I
was DJing. I played a little Beyonce and

I wound up with a girlfriend.

You just slide it off with your thumb.

I gave you the princess glass because my
other one broke.

I'm so sorry you're home for the summer.

We've been seeing each other long
distance.

She's doing her senior year in school
right now up in Sonoma but she's here

the summer staying with her parents.
It's going to be a good one.

So when is your next project?

The end of June.

I'm going to be there.

Rochelle's a beauty pageant girl, and
she works with special needs kids as

as opposed to Kristen, who basically is
a special needs kid.

So how are you doing?

So work's been good for me, you know,
apart from that one slip -up. Yeah, what

happened? This guy came in and, you
know, kind of slowed the night down by

putting me in a headlock.

I didn't retaliate or anything.

There are a lot of people that...

I just feel like

people are jealous. Like, I say that
once, I say it again. Like, people see

in, like, some kind of other limelight.

You know, I'm not serving fried chicken.
And they don't, they hate that. Yeah,

but you're pursuing your dream. And if
that's upsetting people, just try to

brush it off.

You're just so, like, perfect.

Babe, you're perfect.

Oh, no, no.

Just for reference.

I like that.

I'm going to be a little meh tomorrow,
so if you guys want to come over in the

afternoon. Well, I'm already coming over
to take care of your sobbing ass. Then

I'll come over and make fun of you.

I'm getting veneers put in tomorrow
because I like to assume that guys still

look at me.

It's like I'm so vain that I would like
to think that I still have it. That will

be a source of comic relief.

That sounds good. Yeah, I'm going to
hate you.

So Carter and I went over to Tina's
parents yesterday and we were hanging

sunshine. She started getting upset and
she was like, the other night he was

drunk and she hurt me. And I go, but I
think you've hurt her feelings. What

happened to her?

When I try to have a critical
conversation with Sheena, I'm just

like, support. I don't need to be, like,
corrected.

Keep saying that I said something I
didn't say.

She becomes so defensive.

It's, like, not fair.

But don't come to me and say, well, her,
and then to Lala, you're going to be,

like, cool with it. That's an issue.

Oh, that's a huge issue. It's a loyalty
thing. Yeah.

Are we busy? Yeah, there's a party in
the garden.

Okay. Okie doke.

Sounds good.

Roll up, city.

Here you go.

Are you and Katie okay now?

Um, I mean, you know, when Katie's
drunk, she's irrational.

She accused me, like, four times of
saying something I absolutely did not

It'll pass.

Yeah.

Hey, guys. Hi.

Is there a big party happening in here
tonight? Yeah, in the garden. Okay, are

you working that? It's probably one of
the closers.

Okay, are you going to be working in
there? I'm on restaurant side.

Okay. Are you liking it?

Yeah. Yeah?

So far, it's been fine. But you've been
a waitress before, right? Yeah.

So how was everybody's weekend?

Did you guys have to work or did you get
to have fun?

I'm like really not trying to be a
bitch. It's just like Katie is one of my

friends. I'm happy to say hello to you
and be professional. I just like the

conversation. It just makes me
uncomfortable.

But I hope you had a fun weekend. Thank
you.

The last time Katie saw Lala and I in
the same room, I got the full on wrath

Tequila Katie.

So I don't want anyone to see Lala
trying to talk to me. Then that's going

get back to Katie, and I don't want to
hear it. I got a marble trash can, and

now it's too heavy for me to empty the
trash. Okay, well, then start working

out.

What's up?

Sheena, she texted me from work. I'm at
work opening with Britt, and Lala is

here. She came up all nice and tried to
talk to us, and I interrupted her and

said, not trying to be a bitch, but we
aren't friends. Katie is my friend. You

talking to me makes me really
uncomfortable.

Obviously, I'm very proud of Sheena for
finally telling Lala off.

But you should have done that from the
beginning. You know what I mean?

So, cool, Sheena. Welcome back to our
group of friends.

Don't f*** it up. Step in the positive
direction.

that she did this today. I agree, and
I'm so proud of her, but this is going

be something that keeps coming up, just
like the way she acts.

Well, I think that if we can just all
get together and just have like a

conversation, and at the end of it,
we're on the same page about everything.

The quicker we can all move on from
this, that would be better.

Here's a cocktail menu.

Hi, Dolly.

How are you?

Good. How are you?

Good.

How well do you know the wine is?

I know it okay. I'm still studying it.
Well, hurry up.

I am. Just getting caught up on
everything.

Hey. How are you?

Good. How are you?

How long are we going to tolerate that?

What? James Kennedy.

Oh, okay. Don't tell me. He's been okay,
right?

Really? Why? What's he doing now?

Coming in here drunk.

Like him, like, screaming and yelling,
disconnecting the music, leaving the

entire venue without music. That's no
good. How can I have that?

I have made it exceedingly clear to
James that if he's ever intoxicated at

that will be the end of his tenure.

So if I can actually get definitive
evidence that James has been drinking on

job, then that's the only excuse I need.

Like, I don't want...

him to be like acting like this and
feels like he's so entitled and do you

he's kind of acted entitled lately yeah
like three months i seriously do not

like this person all right i know you'll
take care of it thanks of course

coming up how many times have we had
those falling out you've told me you're

happy you don't want to be with me like
i just sometimes i wonder if there's

like a nugget of truth to that after he
dropped a bomb on me

Hey, is this Dr. Engler's office?

Hey,

this is Tom Schwartz. I was just calling
to let Dr.

Engler know that I'm going to be like 10
minutes late for my appointment.

I've been having a little premarital
heebie -jeebies. You sure you want to do

that? I'd be lying if I said I haven't
had doubts.

There's just some things, like some deep
-rooted things that I'm still kind of

dealing with and sorting out in my head
that I feel like I should go to a

professional.

Hey, Dr. England. Great to see you
again.

How you doing, Doc?

Have a seat.

Good to see you. Good to see you, too.
Thanks for seeing me on short notice.

Yes.

Well, I'm getting married.

It's becoming real now.

You know, it's hard. It's like I feel
bad. I feel like I'm going behind

her back and talking about my soon -to
-be wife, you know? Right. I didn't tell

Katie about going to therapy because
there's so many...

different ways to upset her. And I am a
little scared of what she's capable of

when she loses control and fully goes
over to the dark side.

She always is telling me still, like,
she feels like I don't have her back.

She seems to always be in an argument or
talking trash about someone.

And if I try to call her on it, I get
accused of being self -righteous or an

asshole, and I'm pretty callous. I'm
just like, don't.

Who put me through this again. Right.
For the hundredth time. Which probably

escalates her. Oh, my God. It makes it
so much worse.

Yeah. Yeah. It's our long history of
having. I mean, there's been so many of

these falling out. You know, these are
chronic. And alcohol is always the

catalyst. That's a Tom Schwartz
interpretation of things. No, no, no,

Tom Schwartz is reasonable and
diplomatic.

My own boyfriend is making up for the
whore in there.

He is drunk. Yes. It is your fault.

I don't feel like I've ever really been
able to articulate clearly or express to

her just how much I die inside when she
goes to the dark side. Right. It kills

the swerve.

Your homework assignment is to go home
tonight and have your check -in

conversation with Katie.

Check -in. And say, actually, I want to
understand your rage.

I want to understand what makes you feel
unsafe in a relationship, you know? Can

you come with me? I almost wish I could
give Katie, like, some sort of ultimatum

like she gave me, you know? Either this
behavior stops or we're not getting

married.

But I don't have the balls to do that.

I cannot keep doing this, you know?
Okay. So I'm just going to ask you the

question. Okay, yeah. Okay?

Are you really ready to make the
commitment given all of the feelings

expressed today?

I mean, I do have moments of doubt for
sure. Okay. Like it does flounder. Are

you sure you want to get married this
summer?

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. I know you feel stuck in this and
you're not stuck like this at all.

How are you? I'm good. How was your
weekend?

It was pretty good.

Okay, so we've got a party in the garden
tonight.

Yeah, that's exciting.

Maybe an overflow, so you help the
lounge bar. Yeah, I'll be in there for

Yeah. Can I just give you a heads up
before you walk into that room over

Because I think Sheena and Lala went at
it.

Do I really need to hear this? This is
our workplace. I don't want fighting

going on. Do you want fighting going on?
You love fighting going on. You live

for fighting going on. I'm trying to be
a better person here. I'm trying to

like... It doesn't even exist.

It doesn't exist.

Well, here she is. She can explain to
you.

Explain what? Explain what happened in
there with Lala coming in. Before she

walks in... Brittany and I are doing our
roll -up, and then Lala walks up and

was like, Hey, girls, how was your
weekend?

What's wrong with that? Like nothing's
ever happened.

We're not friends. I don't know.

She comes in and says, hey, girls. It's
okay. I know, but Katie hates her. Oh,

Lord. I can't really get involved. Can
you stop laughing? I think Kristen,

Stassi, and Katie, like, they share one
brain.

And if you don't think the way they
think, then you can't be part of that

Katie got mad at me because I chose to
be professional and cordial. Because I'm

a forgiving person who doesn't hold
grudges.

Okay, all I'm asking you to do is be
civil and cordial and nice and not to

this place a hostile working
environment. Absolutely, I agree. Do we

that? No, you're a sister.

There ain't no two ways about that.
There will be no issues here with her

Professional, cordial, doing my job.

Go on then, go and do it.

I like how you recognize I'm relaxing
right now because I need to relax.

Butter, now's not the time, man.

What's going on, boo?

I'm just doing some adult coloring, you
know?

This is my un -wine time. I drink my
wine, I color the book.

Yeah. Oh, you're drinking?

Are you drunk?

Well,

I mean, okay, I'm not going to lie.
Like, I did have, like, some glass of

at lunch with the girls today, but...

That doesn't count.

Where have you been?

Well, I actually was with Dr.

Brandy. You were?

Yeah.

I know. How did you know about that?

I mean, I don't know. I had a lot going
on in my mind.

I don't want this to be like a
confrontation. I just was talking and

and I just was like, I was talking to
her, and I don't think I ever fully

expressed to you how much, when you go
to the dark side, it like pushes me

I mean, how many times have we had those
falling out that you've told me you're

not happy, you don't want to be with me?

Like, I just sometimes I wonder if
there's like a nugget of truth to that.

think I would just put down a deposit on
wedding invitations if there was a

nugget of truth in something I said when
I was blackout being drunk? No, but

you've said it a hundred times over the
course of... It's not my fault when I

try to have a conversation and you don't
fucking ever listen.

It's like being in a relationship with
a... I need Tom to be a support system

I know that I'm not alone.

And you have to be self -aware and admit
that. You know when you go to that dark

place, it's very tough. Yeah, you know,
Tom, you've already paid me back for

that. You've already paid me back
tenfold.

Lovey, you got it. First of all, take a
breath. No, no, do take a breath. We're

sitting here planning a wedding. You're
like, is there a mission in you that

doesn't want to marry me? And I'm like,
what the?

You just dropped a bomb on me. No, I
didn't drop a bomb. Yeah, you did.

This is not going how I planned it to
go. No, it's not. This is supposed to be

nice, pleasant conversation.

Do I should just take it? No, you should
have just taken it, but can we just

talk? You're making me feel... I'm
trying to have a conversation. This is

have a conversation.

I know my therapist is good, but what
she should have told me is don't bring a

knife. to a gunfight because Katie has
me seriously outgunned. I'm sorry that

I'm defending myself.

You have been drinking earlier. This is
what you have to say because I'm done

talking to you. No, Bubba, don't be done
talking to me.

I don't want to fight.

Well, it's your fault for bringing it
up.

Bubba, you seem to be focusing on when I
said, is there any doubt?

There's no doubt on my side at all. I'm
so excited about it. I just made it to

win it.

I'm happy and I'm excited.

Well, hey, what do you mean? Okay, let
me know don't be upset

That's the last time I ever try to talk
about my feelings

Coming

up they need to take an order Jack.

They need to take an order. We need to
get both cosmopolitan

Are you going to clean the fish tank?

It's disgusting.

So I have to pay the bills and clean?

Only the fish tank.

Pay the bills, clean the apartment, make
my own dinner.

When have you ever made your own dinner?

They don't like it when I do the fishes.

Why did you let it get so dirty? That's
your one job.

Are you actually going to start paying
bills?

You don't want to work? That's fine.
I'll pay your bills. I'll pay

But when I come home, I like to have a
sandwich.

Shut up. I choose to support my
girlfriend because that's just how I was

And that being said, I expect something
in return. If I was a chick, I'd be

like, man, I'll make you 25 sandwiches a
day.

What time do you have to go to work?

We go in at the same time, honey.

Really? Yeah.

It's going to be a good day for you,
huh?

James isn't working tonight?

Oh, I don't know.

I'm going to kill that kid.

Jax really wants to beat the shit out of
James.

Now that James is... Okay.

Jax really, really, really wants to beat
the shit out of James.

I think... Don't take a deep breath,
Brittany.

Okay. Jax really wants to beat the shit
out of James. They just have this weird

saying that's back and forth. He cannot
stand him.

What is happening?

Are you at least going to shower and
change your shirt?

You're working a shift.

I'm not there to impress anybody.

Will you at least change your shirt?
I'll just put some deodorant on and some

cologne. Call it a day.

My orthodontist told me that I couldn't
eat.

And he's like, the champagne diet.

Can I marry your doctor?

She knows like texting me and she's like
you're gonna hate the grinding noise

and I'm like you were awake I was why
wait, but they shot my whole mouth up.

had a horror story She knows all day
every day. They may value me nitrous.

You're feeling better than anyone else
right now I don't know I feel bad for

you. So after it like yes, they were
they come home I want to talk to Tom and

sure enough he comes home music. So I
went and saw dr. Angler the therapist

so what like was talking You say things
like when you're like drunk and upset.

Everybody does. Can I have a drink
without you being like, oh, you're

I'm scared of you. I'm not going to.
That's insulting.

That's also hypocritical. I think that's
what every man thinks, though. One of

the issues Schwartz has with Katie is
that he's scared of her when she drinks

because she tends to fly off the handle.
But it's like, no, this is just like

actually like human emotion and like how
women are.

You don't have to knock.

No one ever has to know. I didn't know
all that. It's a plate.

I brought you a liquid.

Your liquid.

It looks really good. I could explain it
to you on the phone, but these will be

smaller and these will be bigger.

It just feels weird. Mine still, to this
day, every day, feel different.

Because this tooth I don't actually have
anymore, so I can feel the back of the

veneer, like the ridge.

I've never had any surgery, anything cut
open other than my mouth. The only

thing I do is...

I shoot stuff in. I don't cut stuff
apart.

Would you like some champagne?

I'm okay. Thank you, though. Okay.

Wait, okay, can... Kristen read that
text. Can you... Yeah, so Lala, like,

over and she's like, Hey, guys, how was
your weekend?

Agreeing to be cordial in any capacity
with her, she's going to exploit that

take advantage of it. I mean, I don't
see her trying to have another

conversation with me because what I'll
do again is just... Walk away. I know,

but... Have a little faith in me. I'm
not a fucking pushover. No, I know, but

that's what I was trying to address that
night.

Kristen, Seth, and I want to arrive at a
place where she understands what kind

of friend we need her to be. If she can
do that, then we can be the four best

friends that ever were.

Like, I was trying so hard to not say
the wrong thing or present it in a wrong

way that you would think, like, I'm
attacking you or I think that, but it

like, ended up happening.

I feel like the best way to agree. I
don't want you to be, like, hurt because

I'm trying to, like, confront you about,
not an issue, but just something that,

like, didn't sit with me well. This is
not meant to be mean. I don't want you

to, I know when people preface something
like that, it sounds like it's about to

be mean, but, like, for real, I mean, I
don't mean this to be mean.

You have an issue with this. And I feel
like if I communicate that with you,

you're going to think that I'm coming at
you. And that's not what like a real

solid friendship is like.

super sensitive it's the thing that
works against you and it's the thing i

the most about you yeah because you know
i was coming over to get attached but

you're not because we're sitting here
telling you how much we love you i have

told these girls numerous times that i
feel like it's three against one and

they're always like no no no sheena it's
not like that when i'm like you guys

this is exactly what i was talking about
i just had a feeling that maybe you

made it a little more like It's all
good.

No, but you guys jumped way ahead.
You're like, well, now, like, Ariana's

to invite you to lunch, and then Lala's
going to be there. I'm like, no.

But, like, I feel like you should have,
like, known better. And that's not how I

meant for it to come off, so I
apologize.

See, that's all. Like, I was not, like,
mad at you, but I was just like, I'm

like, I have to, like, let her know this
so it doesn't, like, snowball and they

don't get frustrated.

So whenever we have an issue with each
other, from here on out, you confront

each other in a constructive way, even
if we're drinking.

Yeah.

Communication for the win.

I'm not allowed to do it. Okay, I'm just
going to set it here and you can

pretend. You know, obviously I know that
Lisa told me don't drink before work.

Hey, look at that.

Oh yeah, it's a fatty.

Mmm.

I don't feel like it's a big issue to be
a little buzzy. Is it vodka?

Lemon drop.

Lemon drop.

I feel like James is getting worse. I
just don't know how he gets away with

the stuff he does.

Look, I wrote down stuff for wine in
case you have to ask me.

Table 16 I just got. Table 16? Yeah.

It's like the big one with six people.
Oh, okay. I'll be over there. Okay. I've

been here six years. I couldn't tell you
any of them. I always look at the

computer still.

Okay.

Wait, before you go over there, can I
tell you about something?

Yeah. I've been, like, really nervous to
work on Wednesdays lately.

Why? Because James teaches.

And in April, like the beginning of
April, we hooked up.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Wait.

He's been dating a girl since New
Year's, I thought. I didn't know that. I

started working here in February.

And I didn't know he had a girlfriend.

But when I found out, I called it off.
And I was keeping my mouth shut. I

want any drama. You told me. You told
the wrong person.

Oh, everybody knows now, and I'll tell
you why.

He, like, slips out on me at times.

Just at night, he got, like, crazy on
everybody.

Well, he went crazy on me.

He went crazy on you? Yeah, like,
calling me a whore.

Every day I hear something about this
kid. Every single day. You know, Sir

to be a fun place to work. But since
James started working here, Everyone's

crying. Everyone's fighting with each
other.

Can't this place just go back the way it
used to be?

I have been seeing you every day without
protection and been inside of you. Are

you really going to do this? Yeah, I am.

You. And it's really disrespectful to
Lisa.

So does his girlfriend know?

No, his girlfriend doesn't know, but
that's not my... Oh, she's going to find

out. She will know now that he knows.

But that's not my goal anyway. My goal?

Yeah.

My goal to ruin a kid's life.

Coming up. They're thirsty, thirsty
little girls.

I need a drink. You're earning into an
asshole before my very eyes.

I got some information today.

Oh, you did?

Well, one of the hosts, she comes up to
me and she's like, listen, James has

been kind of calling me names and
calling me whore and all this and

attacking her because he doesn't want
her to tell anybody that she got a

girlfriend. Kind of sounds like when
Brittany came in town and you started

calling Lala.

I never said anything.

You said, I promise I'm going to fuck
you. No, I never said that.

Maybe one of the reasons why Jack
doesn't like James is because he feels

he's looking at himself ten years ago,
and he doesn't like what he sees.

I think he's surpassed me in
conditioning.

They got, like, nothing tonight, so I
wanted to give them big parties, but

whenever they're done, I'm going to see
them there.

Okay, perfect.

Are you good for just a minute? Yes.
Okay.

DJ James Kennedy.

What's up, home?

Do you love my swag tonight?

I love your swag every night. So, can I
ask you a solid question?

About what?

I have heard some things around here
that you've been hooking up with other

chicks. No, I just want people here.

Can you tell me the truth?

With who?

Gigi. That blonde girl?

No, she has brunette hair.

I wouldn't Gigi with a ten -foot pole. I
mean... I'm here driving around in

Aston Martin.

You think I'm going to jump in this
Honda Civic for a quick joyride? Me and

Raquel love each other.

Come at me, any desperado bitch that
wants to become someone.

Keep your voice down, hey. You don't
need to say, stop with the cursing.

Nobody's talking to you. Be quiet.

You're talking to me.

You're nobody. You're nobody.

Nobody's talking to you. You're nobody.

Let's play some more Range Rovers.

Yeah. Asshole.

Gigi said you hooked up with her and
you're calling her slut. DJ on, JK.

Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack.

What are you doing?

What are you doing? No, you don't care.

Yes, I do.

But why? Why should a man of your age
care?

A man of my age? You're working, sir.
You're working.

Don't come at me and say, oh, my God,
oh, yeah.

I'm going to come at you whatever I feel
like coming at you. Why? I'm kicked out

of everywhere you go. You can't go a day
without getting your ass kicked. You're

a rock star and you're a bartender.

A rock star? Anybody can push play on a
laptop, you idiot. In Vegas? Not even

connected to anything.

They need to take an order, Jack.

They need to take an order.

We need to get more cosmopolitan.

Hump Tini!

Hi.

What up, dude?

Looking good, dude.

You look handsome.

I don't know about that man bun, but...
It's not a man bun, dude.

If I get drunk enough, I'm going to spit
that thing off.

What have you been up to? What'd you,
uh... Dude, I don't even know what

happened yesterday.

I went to therapy. I left feeling good,
and I went back home, and I wanted to

have, like, a little, like, state of the
relationship address, you know what I

mean? Yeah.

Dude.

It did not go over well at all.

And I told her, I was like, that's the
last time I expressed my feelings.

They're going right back down where they
belong.

I really, truly don't think that Katie
has any concept on how damaging

it is to Schwartz when she goes to the
dark side.

Anyway, I don't want to bore you with
all that shit.

I know we were joking around about it
before, but I think I'm actually going

have Ariana be a groomsman.

Like, seriously.

Are you serious? Yeah. Why not? That's
fucking awesome.

Katie doesn't want Ariana to be a
bridesmaid for several reasons,

fact that she's friends with Lala.

What if she actually was a groomsman?

She and Lala have, like, gotten close
best friends right in the middle of her

talking all this, like... Though, you
know, for the moment, I'm going to avoid

telling her.

I brought her an ass steak and some
mashed shrimp, you know. I mean, fair is

fair. All right.

You almost done?

Hold on, hold on, hold on.

It's after this is a girl, right?

Oh, what? What?

What have you been saying about me? What
have you been saying about me that I'm

not successful with you? Do you want to
start a problem with me because you

hooked up with me? I didn't hook up with
you.

Ever. James, you are actually a fucking
psychopath.

You're being unacceptable and very rude.
You're always drunk and you have no

talent. Why? That's not what you said.
It's so embarrassing. What are you

talking about? That's not what I said
when.

At your house? At your house? At your
house?

At your house?

At your house? Sorry.

He's drunk.

Gigi? Okay.

I don't care if they f***ed or not. The
only thing that I can think about is,

thank God, the rumors are being spread
about somebody that is not me.

Hey. Hi, Lisa. Everything good?

Hey, Lisa.

How's it going?

It's going.

I wouldn't want a glass of rosé. Hello,
hello.

Hello. How are you?

Okay. What's happening?

We might need to talk outside.

Okay, let's talk outside.

I'll be out on the terrace.

Diana saying, hey, can I talk to you is
never a good thing. Come on, sit here.

Tell me.

Tell me your objective opinions.

When I came to the bar, I was just
hearing the yelling.

Yelling? James screaming out of his
lungs.

He's so obnoxious. The way of like
clapping hands and screaming. And people

looking at that. And this is
representing you.

Okay, let me see what's going on.

You want to talk to him? Oh yeah, send
him out.

I'll be right back.

Sometimes I walk in and everything's
absolutely copacetic. And then other

I walk in and James is being an asshole.

This is one of those nights.

Hi. What on earth is going on with you?
Nothing.

Nothing? Nothing at all.

No raised voices?

Nope. James?

What?

It's petty drama that these bitches...
Don't talk like that. Why?

You don't even understand the difference
between a civilized... They're thirsty,

thirsty little girls that need a drink.

And I can't provide water for them.

You're turning into an asshole before my
very eyes.

Coming up... There is a catch.

What's the catch?

Look at that.

You don't even understand the difference
between a civilized conversation and

being a... There's thirsty, thirsty
little girls that need a drink.

And I can't provide water for them.

You're turning into an asshole before my
very eyes.

All right, Lisa.

You're obviously feeding into what
everybody else is telling you.

And I don't appreciate that.

We've invested a lot in this kid and
really kind of put our necks on the line

for him and this is where he repays us.

You're not Calvin Harris. Oh, who said
that? Well, you think you are. Where did

you learn that from?

It's ridiculous.

No, I don't.

Yeah, you do.

No, I don't. When you're creating a
problem and you're raising your voice

business, I can assure you, you need to
calm down.

No one's out here.

No one's...

No one's around us.

Go back to the... No, but... Okay, fine.
If you want me to go back and you don't

want to talk to me respectfully, I need
to tell you the truth.

Go back to the DJ booth. Why? Lay your
little discs and shut up.

Do you understand me?

Because you are one stage from me
telling you to go home.

And you don't want that.

Lisa, I love you so much. I respect you
so much. Well, then show me respect and

do exactly what I said now. Go back to
the DJ booth.

Dapple, dapple, deezy.

Hey. What's going on?

Not much. I came in to say what's up to
the guys.

How's it going?

Jalen, I feel like I've been neglecting
sir lately.

I came out here for a break and then I
realized it was like 45 degrees out

Um, there's another reason I came here.

And, uh, it involves you.

Okay. Yeah.

I'm not quite sure how to say this, but,
uh, I think I want you to officially be

a groomsman.

Oh, my God.

That's so cool.

Take it in. Get out.

I've never been a groomsman in anyone's
wedding. I've been a bridesmaid a

jillion times.

But, like, it's just so cool that he
would think of me and super excited to

a suit.

There is a catch.

What's the catch? There's a catch.

As you remember, I made Tom and Jack's
the night dinner.

A very special dinner.

You ate things that were between my ass
cheeks.

I feel good.

I like Ariana.

And I want her to be included. So, you
know, ate my ass steak, ate my ass

shrimp. Oh, this is commitment.

This is a real groomsman shit.

Dude, you officially, officially a
groomsman. This is the coolest thing

ever happened to me.

Hello. Hey, what's up, dude? What are
you still doing here?

I'm cleaning up, man. You're still
cleaning up these bars?

Yeah. Can we get a shot? I mean... I
mean, you want to do it together?

If you're leaving... I'm leaving. I'm
off.

Look at me.

Dude,

I just want you to keep your job here.

My job's kept.

Good. I'm a most valuable player.

You're MVP?

MVP, sir?

Most valuable player, yeah. I think so.

Sorry it's me, Jack.

I'm cool with James, but he's a lot.

One too many glasses of Chardonnay and
he's f***ing ate a lot.

No, dude, I am... Carlos, listen to me.
Look at me. What are you looking for?

I'm looking for my towel.

Whiskey is what you're looking for. I
don't think you care anymore. I'm

for my towel. I'm looking for my towel.
F*** it. I need some babies.

You need Jack on the black label back
there.

Jack? Cheers.

Cheers, man.

Go back to the DJ booth.

I'm serious. I don't care.

Well, we are technically... This is
crazy.

Huh? This is crazy.

He's good.

You've got to put your foot down with
him.

No, I know. I'm just talking to him.
We're just shooting a shot. You're

wiser, smarter. Tell him. All right, all
right.

Well...

What is it?

See?

Oh, my God. You guys.

I told you not to come here when you've
done. I didn't. I didn't. No, I'm not.

Wait,

no.

Guys, it's not about the drinks tonight.
Lisa, I promise you. You ruined my

business. He is.

Sorry, I won't do it again.

See what it's like?

Please, Ken's getting mad.

Lisa, stop.

He's going to get mad at me.

Don't you understand, James? Ken scares
the shit out of me. Oh, my God. I can't

deal with this fucking bullshit.

See? What?

What? I'm knocking the fuck out.

If you disrespect Lisa, that would be
another thing.

Go home. I would never disrespect your
wife, Ken.

Go home.

All right.

That's a wrap.

Coming up, what do you have to say for
yourself after last night?

I'm in trouble.

It's not a good look to get into fights,
at least in spots.

So I've got to say my apologies and get
back to work.

Hello. Hey, James.

What's up?

Hey. You all right? I didn't know you
were going to come here.

I'm actually just leaving.

Oh, really?

OK. I've got to go to work.

All right, well, have a good night.

You too. All right, darling.

I love you, Mum. All right, love you
too.

It's a beautiful set -up out here.

It's gorgeous.

What do you have to say for yourself
after last night?

I've never been so scared in my life.

What's happened to you? What's happened
to the boy that we knew three years ago?

Hi, Lisa, how are you? So you're doing
your job properly?

Yes, Peter is...

making it very clear that these need to
be extra polished.

But now you've turned into, like, really
a drunken asshole.

What do I do?

I tell you what you do, and I tell you I
am drawing a line in the sand. You are

not working for me any longer.

And you're not coming in to stir, and
you're not coming in to pump.

You know, indefinitely fired forever
just sounds crazy.

Your behavior warrants it. I've given
you more chances than I've ever given

anybody else, ever.

On one hand, Jackie's a fucking wanker
and Gigi's a fucking whore. But on the

other hand, I let them get the best of
my emotions.

You know, am I at fault? Yeah.

But they're at fault for being fucking
assholes as well.

I think it's for your own good. You've
got to sober up.

It's so hard, though.

It really is, Lisa.

I don't know how to control it.

You should never have another drink in
your life. That's who you are.

Go.

I

have stood

by James as much as I possibly could. I
will always support James, but I refuse

to enable him.

Next time on Vanderpump Rules.

You didn't instigate that. No, you
provoked it. I provoked it? Shut up for

second and let me finish.

Do you know how many things I have heard
about you? You know any things I've

heard about you, Lala? Because I've had
all the girls ask me if you're seeing a

married man.

It's not that I'm being secretive. You
are. You haven't told one person.

How are you two getting on? We've had a
few little flare -ups.

Cool, Tom.

Do you want to insult me more? Talk
about how your dick doesn't work either.

What?

My dick works great.