All language subtitles for The.Real.Housewives.of.New.Jersey.S8E16

Ready, guys?

Ta -da!

Couldn't get enough of this season's big
personalities?

Cool her off! Cool her off!

Well, tonight we're back in Jersey.

They call me Tarzan for a reason.

Hung like an elephant.

Ready to reveal Jersey's best -kept
secrets.

You're 47 years old. You're trying to
tell me you've never masturbated?

Sorry. And give you shocking new moments
from the reunion.

Dolores, prove to us that you aren't
Siggy's puppet.

What about we make out? And the craziest
clips never before seen. Oh, no, that's

not good. Does no one else think this is
crazy?

All this and more.

No!

I'm going to pee. I'm going to pee!

On The Real Housewives of New Jersey,
secrets revealed.

He's like, you have no idea. I'm like,
no.

There's always a little party going on
down there.

Look loyalty up in the dictionary, and
you'll find my face.

The only life I envy is my own.

I bring the power, the pigtails, and the
party.

My motto is, know your worth.

Leave the rest to your plastic surgeon.

If you're not about the namaste, get the
hell out of my way.

Liz from Wayne said, Melissa, Joe won't
let Antonia date.

But little Joey can date as many girls
as he wants. Why do you obey your

husband's double standards?

It's 2017.

Listen, I don't obey anyone or anything.
That's first of all, Miss whoever you

are. But I agree.

He's super old school in his thinking.
I'm not saying that he's right. He's not

right. But it's the way he grew up. It's
the way most of us in this room.

I'm grateful for the way my parents
raised me. Like, I never had sleepovers

growing up. It doesn't have to be like
that.

And you know, I think it's OK for kids
to have sleepovers. I think it's fun.

Things that I haven't done, if I say yes
to now, it's because I didn't do it,

and I want them to experience it. I got
it. Do you think going away helped you

grow out of the mold that we grew up in
and meeting all the different people and

stuff like that?

Yeah, this is the thing.

I was such a good kid, too. Look what
happened in my life. I never thought my

life was going to go this way. Listen, I
hope when the girls grow older, they'll

see what I did for them. I didn't read a
manual to how to be a mom.

I took notes from how my mom raised me.

See, that's the difference between you
and me, Melissa. Like, my parents are so

strict with me that I didn't get to do
anything.

I have lived.

And so I think that's why I'm so strict.

I'm like, oh, no, you're not going to do
anything I used to do. Like, you're

going to stay home.

There's never a dull moment when the
Gorgas and the Judaizes get together to

celebrate, but different parenting
styles can sometimes cause a bit of

Here, Tonya, help me put these
tablecloths on, because I want to pull

away, because I do not want you guys
getting it all over my table. What are

doing? We're going to dye Easter eggs.
These Easter eggs?

This is the first Easter without my
mother -in -law, so it's definitely a

one. You want to eat one? Yeah. Oh, you
do? I want to eat one. Wait, wait, Joe.

Smell it. You shouldn't eat them. We're
going to die then. Smell it. Just smell

it. But we have little kids, and they
want to die the Easter eggs. And we are

going to have fun. We are going to make
memories, and we do want to celebrate.

Can you go grab the door, honey?

What's up?

Are you guys going to dye eggs? Why does
this thing smell bad?

No, it's the eggs.

Wait, guys, listen to me. Children, this
is dye.

So watch your clothes.

It's only too high of water. That's
going to spill. No, the egg is going to

in there. It's going to splatter.

Joey, let me get paper towels.

Did it make you laugh?

I think Melissa has OCD.

Hold on.

Don't let it splatter everywhere.

She likes the house to be clean. Look,
watch Mommy.

Bend them like this, and then you drop
the egg in. But they're kids, so I want

to say relax, you know? Like, it's okay.

No, no, don't double up in the thing,
guys. That's why you're going to

Gino. Yeah!

Okay, you're done.

No!

No, it won't come up. Why would you guys
do that?

Don't do that. Don't do that. Hold on.

Do you think that... That's funny. Give
me your hands. He's got his hands.

I tell you, man.

That's all.

I mean.

No, you can't eat it so dry. How do we
10 minutes versus dry?

Don't let it drip. Don't let it drip. A
paper plate.

was trying to calm her kids down, Siggy
was getting amped up for a family

celebration of her own. This is
Michael's homemade cheesecake for Saba.

to put the cherry thing on it? No, no, I
don't want any cherry sauce on it,

though. Not everything's about jars.

It's gross.

Today, it's all about your grandfather.

You should definitely be a cake maker,
Soph, right here. Yes.

With all the stress of throwing this
party for my dad, I thank my lucky stars

for Michael Campanella.

I love this kid.

You've got to admit, you couldn't ask
for a better stepdad. Of course not.

The man right here. And the fact that he
adores my children. He loves my entire

family. And that's a huge part of why I
fell in love with him.

Oh, somebody's at the door.

Hi, Jordan.

All right.

Debbie's here.

Did everybody meet Joshua's girlfriend?

Oh, my God. You guys are so cute.

What's up, big guy?

Hi, sis.

Hi. How are you?

Look at this.

Number one in the world. This is my
father's cake.

Five of Saba's 12 books are on here.
Isn't that incredible?

Look, even the pages look real. It's too
incredible. I don't want to eat it.

So guys, this is what we're going to do.

Saba thinks he's coming over here for
Shabbat dinner.

We're all going to hide out in the
dining room.

I'm going to open up the door.

Let's think about kiddish. What am I
missing? I have the Manischewitz wine.

Yamakas. We need yamakas. Iris, you want
to bring out some latkes?

Okay, wait. Hold on, guys.

Oh, there he is. Everybody in the dining
room. Wait, guys, get in the dining

room. Jordan, right there, yes. Under
the table.

Hold on.

Okay, wait. Why am I saying they can't
hear me?

This is so good.

Wait, excuse me. Who moved this chair?

Okay.

Oh, hi, Ima. Hello.

Hi. Good Shabbos.

Shabbat Shalom. Shabbat Shalom. Hi,
Daddy.

Hi.

Shabbat Shalom. Shabbat Shalom, Daddy.
Can I take your coal?

Yeah.

Yeah, I've got everything for Shabbos.

Shabbat Shalom.

I want to make a long speech.

It'll last just one second. L 'chaim to
life, all of you. L 'chaim.

I love you, Daddy.

Okay.

Thank you.

Where's Josh?

Joshua is making out with his
girlfriend.

Excuse me? Nothing. You guys are gross.

Coming up. Are you going to date?

Melania would have a baseball bat, and
she'd be emailing her dad. He's got this

color hair. He's driving a freaking
Bentley, and he's picking up balls.

Teresa, I don't know if you've noticed,
you're the only one from the original

gang of the Real Housewives of New
Jersey left.

Over 10 years, we've seen you give
birth. We have watched your children

You went to prison. Your husband went.

And recently, you mourned the passing of
your mom.

How have you been dealing with such a
huge loss?

It's been how long?

Almost eight months.

Still raw?

Very. Very? Yeah, very.

You know, this has been a year when you
have really needed your friends. Who has

been there the most for you of this
group?

I have to say all of them. Like, really.
And if it wasn't for them, I probably

wouldn't have got through it. They're
pretty amazing people.

They really are.

This season, the ladies were never shy
about giving Teresa advice.

But they may have taken it a little too
far when they weighed in on her sex

life.

Dolores met David six months ago. The
relationship is going great. I felt like

that right out of the box.

I felt that way, too. So I understand.
So you dated somebody you thought was

like that. What does it feel like to
date? Just remind me. I don't know. I

haven't done it in a long time.

It's really bad. Are you going to date?

I would never.

Oh, my God. I'm going to kick Melissa's
ass.

Melissa, Melania would be outside in the
parking lot.

Melania would have a baseball bat.
You're going to come in this house? You

you're going to come in this house? And
she'd be emailing her dad as they were

walking. She's like, Dad!

Right now, he's got this color hair.
He's driving a freaking Bentley, and

picking up mom.

So good luck with that, just in case you
were thinking of it. I wasn't thinking

of it. You're the one that's thinking of
it.

You and Joe get any alone time?

No. None?

No.

Sucks. No.

I'm going to have to buy you some toys.
Let's go toy shopping for her.

Oof. That's what got me through.

I think you're not a toy for me. I never
tried one. Maybe I should.

No, I don't know if I tried one. Did you
ever try one? Big bad. No.

I don't kiss and tell. Yes, you did.

We don't kiss it.

What's wrong with the vibrator? Why are
people so uptight?

What do you guys do? Anything crazy? I'm
so normal. I don't even have a dildo.

You, of all people, kind of need some. I
know. I don't have one. You don't have

one? No. Someone gave me a little mini
when I haven't used it yet. Teresa, you

owe it to yourself to satisfy yourself.
Yeah, that's right.

Well, you never gave yourself an orgasm?
No.

Look at her. So both of you have,
obviously. Have you done it? No, I

never did. No, because I was taught that
that was bad to do.

You're 47 years old. You're trying to
tell me you've never masturbated?

Margaret, it's a phone call away.

When you were 14 years old, it was a
phone call away?

Yeah.

So we're the bad girls.

It's going to be so much fun.

Want to do a little dancing? I don't
know about the dancing part.

This season, Teresa was understandably
frustrated in the sex department, so

Danielle and Margaret planned a little
activity to take her mind off things.

Hi, how are you? Welcome home for your
big day. I love you. Thank you. You look

beautiful. Wait, look, look, I love
this. Let me just see. I'm going to do

right there. Do your shimmy. Your body.

This is so awesome.

I love that. How about you invite anyone
in the room for a dance?

Teresa, do you mind? Okay.

Now, this is what you're going to do.

Like, one, two, one, two.

And for the ladies, she's paying
attention that she's moving to the same

This is going to be bad.

This is bad, okay?

I have no idea what you're talking
about.

I want you to do just side step.

Simple. One, two, one, two, one, two.

I'm trying to keep up with you. This is
very difficult.

I'm really confused.

Joyce, a good idea. Put your hands on
her hip just to make sure she's moving

Oh, my God.

I have to say, we have a good -looking
instructor. I mean, if I had to grab on

him, it's not a bad thing.

And put your hands here.

Hello, I haven't had sex in so long.

All right, guys, remember, once in a
while, turn the lady.

Joe, you're not going with me.

There's nothing more than I love to do
but Latin dancing.

But the only issue is Joe.

Joe, you're not going with me.

You're going faster than I am.

It's not that hard, Joe.

It's good.

Sex is in and out, not sideways.

Switch parts up, please.

Let's go. Hi, how are you?

One, two, three, five, six, seven.

Hold on, let me spin you.

Oh, my God.

He is like, it's not even two left feet.
I don't even know what he does. He

looks like Super Mario in, like, a video
game.

Okay,

thank you. Thank you very much.

I'm going to have to drink another
water.

Is there more cups?

Oh, my God. Yay.

Rest those feet. Oh, my God. It's like a
little workout.

Girls.

We're tremendous at this stuff. You're
so good. I can dance and I didn't break

anyone's toes. You did great.

Although I stepped on yours a few times.
It's okay.

Do you feel like you did a little better
without me? Maybe I'm controlling on

the dance floor. No, you're not.

Teresa's not the only housewife who got
a little help from her friends.

Check out how Melissa and Siggy coached
Dolores on her relationship with David.

Can you tell me, like, what the status
is with David?

Like, how is he? Are you guys any closer
today than you were yesterday?

Yeah, we've had some talks about things,
what I need more of, whatever.

With David, the situation's a little bit
unique.

This is a man who is on call and works
seven days a week. So it's very hard to

have a normal relationship with somebody
who is in the middle of dinner. He has

to go because...

There's a high -risk pregnancy, and he's
got to go deliver twins who, I mean.

That's hot, though. I'm sorry.

One way she's turned on by it, but
another way she's like. You're depressed

because you're alone.

Thank you.

And it gets harder and harder as you get
older to meet somebody that you have

this kind of chemistry with. Can I ask
you a question?

Yeah. Are you in love?

Yes, and that's corny for me to say.
It's corny. Don't talk about it.

She's blushing.

Stop. No, stop.

Delores, you're in love. That's so fun.

But does he deserve it?

I have to have this talk with him. But
my problem is, being a woman at my age,

want to take him by the neck every day
and shake him and say, dude, wake up.

Because you're not getting any younger.
You're not getting any younger. Your

kids are older. My kids are older. Your
kids are grown.

I'm going to have to either switch the
dynamics or move on.

That's the way it is. If things don't
work out, I have looking forward to

falling in love all over again. If
things do not work out. See, that's

See, that's good. And she's going to
find you your next one. I already have

lined up in Boca. You're safe.

You're going to move.

You're moving about.

It's up to David.

Coming up.

Dolores, prove to us that you aren't
Siggy's puppet. Call her out on one

she needs to change in her life.

She's the angel and I'm the devil.

Gorgeous. Let's see. What about we make
out?

We're back with the Jersey Housewives.

Siggy, you and Dolores, I mean, you
really have each other's backs. Really.

the two of you ever had a fight about
anything?

Oh, yeah. We all let each other hang up
on each other.

People, whether they're married or
they're friends, if they don't fight,

relationship is phony.

Give yourself, Dolores.

No.

Well, Cindy and Dolores, for years, it
was Teresa and Jacqueline who had the

best friend market cornered in Jersey.
But now there is a new dynamic duo in

town. When you aren't making us laugh,
you ladies are giving us a lesson in

loyalty. Watch this.

Hi, everyone.

Dolores. Hi,

gorgeous. Dolores.

Ziggy's here.

Oh, Claire.

You would think we didn't see each other
for a long time. It was like yesterday.

Oh, my God.

This is gorgeous.

People are just like looking at us. They
must be the Americans.

Hello. Is this like it's okay?

Catch it.

Catch it.

Like, uh.

Like, uh.

Dolores, we see a cake coming.

That is so funny.

I can't believe the way you greet each
other every time you see each other.

That's her.

Life is about chemistry.

Her energy brings that out in me, to be
honest.

Right. That's what life is. You surround
yourself with people who bring out the

best in you. She's helped me become more
uninhibited with my feelings. Like when

you're raised, like Teresa and I can
explain to you, you're not allowed to be

like.

Emotional about things and she's helped
me come out of that show. So I'm

enjoying it Kathy from Hampton said
Dolores prove to us that you aren't

puppet call her out on one thing She
needs to change in her life. Oh, okay.

I call Siggy out anytime.

I disagree with her I can't think of
anything specific right now Can anybody

mean social media

Oh, yeah, that's changing your life? I
want you to... Yes, you're crazy with

that. I don't like that. I want you to
stay off and that's it. She's told me

that before. But for me, it's an outlet
to express myself because I don't feel

like I'm getting my voice and I don't
think I'm getting my point across. You

tell them to go...

Can I just say the worst thing you can
do is start engaging These people and

constantly defending yourself season
three I came in and when I tell you I

dragged through the mud. I was hated and
I had to prove who I am.

Do not engage the way you do on social
media. I'm like, oh my God, her head

just be spinning and spinning and
spinning. My head is spinning, but I

limit. Like with Margaret, I blocked
her, I deleted her. I think, to me, it's

very hard for me when somebody doesn't
genuinely like me.

It's hard for me, and it's very hurtful.
I mean, you know, I'm an acquired

taste. Not all of them love the Marge,
but that's fine.

Talk to me about referring to yourself
in third person.

Yeah, I have. I always refer to myself
as the Marge. You know, I'm always in

costume.

You do, too. I call myself the Sig.
She's like, I'm the Sig. I say to my

do not talk to the Sig now. I think the
two of you have it more in common than

you would like to.

We actually do. But, Andy, Margaret and
I actually have a lot in common. That's

why it was so shocking that when we met
each other, it was like, accept me for

who I am. And I'm like, but you're not
accepting me for who I am. No, I

actually, I accept.

thought, you know, it would be great.
Every brownie needs a blondie and a

blondie needs a brownie by her side. And
I thought, you know, I think everything

I said really cut her very deeply, which
I never really meant to. So I think

that's really what happened. I thought,
you know, we could be a great dynamic

duo, but it just didn't turn out that
way.

It's safe to say Siggy and Margaret will
never be friends, but check out this

surprising unseen footage where it
looked like the two had BFF potential.

Ready, guys?

Yes. After Siggy invited Margaret to a
photo shoot for her 50th birthday. This

is very delicate.

Got it.

Oh, my God. You look unbelievable.

Does Tina look perfect?

I don't want to hurt this little angel.
You look gorgeous.

Look at this. And a little diamond on
the little. I love it. I got a lot of

diamonds right here.

Everybody, Margaret and I are turning 50
and we're a month apart.

Yes. Just think like when we were young
and someone said they were 50.

You would think grandma.

Yeah, you would think old.

Yeah. I always say if I'm still
bangable, I'm fine.

So we're good.

It's not even just like having being in
good shape and everything else. It's

like being super confident. I agree. I
wish I was confident in the bedroom. I'm

not confident in the bedroom, but we're
going to work on that now.

Sorry, Laura. You know how I go to the
bathroom?

She goes backwards.

I go backwards to the bathroom. I think
I peed in front of everybody.

The pee, I'll pee.

No, no duties. No duties. Never in my
life has Michael seen me go to the

bathroom. What about tampon change?

Never! I can tampon change in front of
anybody.

Morgan, you're so brazen. No!

Not a big deal. You would go like this
and take out your tampon in front of

another woman? Yeah, in front of my
husband. He's a plumber.

I can't.

I'm going to pee. I'm going to pee.

Why don't you pee?

It's always nice to laugh with somebody
as opposed to fight with them. And I am

happy I invited Margaret because we're
really enjoying each other's company.

Do you see how free she is? Like, I wish
I could be more like that.

How's that feel right now?

Good. And really make your leg long?
Push your booty out? This is naughty.

out. My booty out.

That's a good -looking booty.

I mean, you have the sexy kitten faces,
though. We don't have to worry about

that. Do that one more time.

That biggie right there.

Where's that camera?

Can you take a picture of me and
Margaret?

Yes. You guys kill me.

How should we stand?

I want to be enveloped by her wing.

Wait, wait. Can I go on this side just
because that's my bedside? I feel a lot

closer with Ziggy since we've made up at
the retreat.

You want to switch sides maybe?

This is my bedside. Oh, you both have
the same good side. Okay. I'm giving

Margaret my bedside. Thank you. Today
she showed me a lot of love, and I think

everything's moving in the right
direction for our friendship.

Look at me with the eyes.

Gorgeous. Let's see.

Oh, yeah.

It's like, you know, she's the angel and
I'm the devil. I have the skulls, I'm

all in the black.

What about we make out?

Oh! It's cute.

And they're laughing.

Gorgeous. I'm so happy you're here. Me
too.

Coming up.

Emily

from

Jamestown said, Melissa, I noticed that
the restaurant only has three stars on

Yelp. That's lower than my dry cleaners.
What's going on there? Listen, hate

isn't going to hate.

Like, the food there is amazing. And
when you're on a TV show, they're going

give you more hate than love. You know,
you can't make everyone happy. But go

try the meatballs for yourself, and
you'll see. Did you know Danielle had

your restaurant?

Yes, I did know. And how did you feel
about that? I was in shock when I heard.

And then she said, listen.

You didn't get to see a lot of Danielle.
We filmed a lot with her. She's a very

sexual being. Fact.

This is who Danielle is, but she's not
hiding that. She accepts that. I think

find it funny.

Am I a sexual being that way? No.

Isn't that a health code violation?

It could be, but it wasn't in the
kitchen.

They're having sex next door.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. I don't even know what just
happened. What?

The women's bathroom just got
christened.

Who? Who?

No, Danielle.

Danielle. Danielle always has to try to
garner attention.

This is necessary. I'd like to use the
bathroom. Now I have to go down the

street. Melissa!

Melissa! Our bathroom.

I mean, this is definitely an odd face
to get horny.

Oh, my God. No one else thinks this is
crazy.

It's disgusting.

It's very easy for her. I have spanks.
It wouldn't be easy for us.

and your boyfriend all live in the same
house together too?

That's none of your business.

How about that?

But I'm a different person now because
I'm not going to let her get a reaction

out of me in the way that she did
because then I don't like it.

Unlike Danielle, I learned my lesson.

Let's just have a nice day.

Yep. Right? Let's do that.

But if she says one more thing to me,
I'm going to kick her right in the

Danielle may never understand Dolores'
relationships, but this season we saw

that Frank and Dolores really do have
something special.

You look good.

I feel all right. We got to work out,
man. I got to come to your gym. Check

this unseen clip from right after Frank
moved home when he told Joe Gorga his

surprising true feelings about his ex.

So listen.

Move back in my Dolores.

All right, so wait. All right, so now
you moved in. I moved in.

Unbelievable. That's like, that's crazy
news.

Is it friends with benefits?

You're going to have like... You know
what benefits are? Benefits are I get my

wash done.

She's the worst.

There hasn't been no... for a long time,
bro.

If that was Melissa with me, you know
the way I am. They call me Tarzan for a

reason. Then why do they call you
Tarzan?

Hung like an elephant.

You were that little... lawyer. He
couldn't be that big. No, he had it

He had it strapped underneath. That's
how he swung from the trees.

But I'm glad, bro. You're moving back in
with Dolores.

You love her?

I always love Dolores. I know you love
her. I know you love her. You still love

her? Dolores is one of the most
important people in my life. I know

that about you, but I'm asking you a
question. Do you love her?

Am I still in love with Dolores?

I'll always be in love with Dolores.

Why do you fight it then?

Because I can't hide you.

You see me stuttering, right?

What's up?

I'm so afraid of ruining what we have,
man.

I don't believe you.

Let's see what happens. My prediction,
you might remarry Dolores. Let's see

happens.

Coming up. Have you hostess before?

No. You're hired right now on the spot.
That was like a little quick to just say

you're hired. Oh, you, oh, yeah, yeah,
you're in. Sex sells.

Richie from Old Wick said, Margaret,
you're my favorite housewife, but my

favorite is your mom.

Is she still single and can I get her
number?

Is she single?

Yeah, Marge Singer is single and ready
to mingle. So if Richie wants, I could

give him her number.

Augustus from Los Angeles said, Margaret
and her mother are very open about sex.

Ladies, were you as comfortable when
your parents would discuss sex in front

you? Never. Never.

No. What about you, Siggy? Will you be
as open with your kids?

Absolutely.

My son is 18 years old and he's having
sex.

I'm sorry. I mean, I want to face
reality.

I'd like for my son to tell me. And
actually, I'm the one who got him

Teresa, will you be more open with your
kids?

Yes. I'd rather them come to me than go
to anybody else. What if they don't come

to you? I want them to come to me. And
we have that kind of relationship.

In other words, are you going to go to
them? Are you going to say, listen, are

you? We have that relationship that I
know my girls will come to me.

Check out this unseen moment from the
Judais trip to Puerto Rico, where Teresa

proved that when it comes to her
daughter, she's never afraid to tackle

most sensitive topics.

Oh, it feels so good to be in the sand.

Hey, babe.

Hi. How'd your step burn?

It's okay.

I'm just relaxing.

It's nice to be relaxed. Have fun.

Next, we'll do some water sports.

Yeah, I don't know. We'll see.

I just wanted to do something nice for
you guys.

You and I have been so busy, you know,
because of the cheer competitions and

everything.

So, you know, we haven't seen Daddy.

Listen, I just worry about you guys just
because there's been a lot of stuff

that's happened. I left, then Daddy
left, and now we lost my mom. You know,

a lot for kids to handle.

So that's why I just want to make sure
everybody's good. Well, God gives you

what you can handle.

I remember last year, they were like,
I'm so ready for Daddy to go.

Daddy will be leaving soon.

He needs to go.

It would be good for him.

Well, yeah, but it's just like when
you're sitting in a household and seeing

your father suffer and hurt and just,
like, drown in his sorrows. It's, like,

depressing. And then it just gets to the
point where you're like, all right,

just go already.

Sometimes God gives you breaks in life
for a reason.

I feel like this is our break.

I just want to show you. Daddy wrote me
a letter.

He wrote, hey babe, can't wait till this
is over.

Time is flying.

Feels like yesterday.

We were Adriana's age. Now we're almost,
I'm not saying that number that he

said. What, you're almost 50?

No!

Crazy now how we're almost 40.

Yeah, you're almost 50.

Miss my family. This time shall pass,
and we will be together.

And I hope you have.

And I hope.

You good, Ma? Can you read it? And I
hope.

And I have.

Oh, sorry, I'm crying.

Can't wait to come home.

Love you.

He signed his name.

That signature's cool.

Oh, everything about that is cool.

What's wrong with my signature?

It's going to be so good. Like when he
comes out, he's going to be happy.

Right. No, I think, listen, he's going
to be in a really good place. And you

know what? I think time heals all
wounds.

I love you.

Your makeup just got all over me. It has
SPF in it, so it protects my skin.

Oh, I should have invested in that.

In the Garden State, mother -daughter
bonds never die.

Watch as Dolores tries to convince her
mom to embrace some of the latest

housewife health trends.

We're going to have a nice, healthy
lunch, okay? Okay.

I don't know what healthy is. See, now
this is going to stop today. So I'm

to get a tropical smoothie.

Mom, you want to try that?

Yes, sounds good. Give us one of Kaibo.

We're going to try it.

All right. Looks good.

Yeah, it's good.

Mom. Yes. Look at how nice. I know. I'm
eating healthy.

I mean, you don't drink.

You don't smoke. No. What did you have
for breakfast?

Cookies.

Cookies and coffee.

You eat like garbage.

It's true. Ma, you got to take care of
yourself.

This is good. This actually is very
good.

So anyway, I want to take you to Utopia.

It's a place where you go and you can
have all this holistic stuff done. And

then you go for a colonic while we're
there.

No, I don't think I'll be doing that.
Why would you not do it? You're

embarrassed? No, I'm not doing it. Are
you embarrassed? Dolores, please.

You're constipated all the time.

Dolores. Best thing you'll ever do in
your life.

No shame in my game. No, I know that.

Then I'm going to take you for a naked
massage.

No, you're not. No, I go there. I'm
naked. I walk around. Everybody's naked.

Naked. You got your leg up.

Dolores, oh, my God.

They scrub between your toes. They scrub
between your toes.

Dolores, stop. I'm not. Well, I can't
believe you do that.

You don't know what you're missing. Just
listen to me. Trust me. You'll never be

sorry you did it. She has this special
machine. No one else has it. And you

these two cylinders, and it tells you
everything in your body that's wrong. I

have problems with my shoulders.

It told me I did.

I have three cavities. It told me
exactly what number teeth I have.

What, do you just hold on to two balls?
No, you stick it in your vagina.

Forget about it. It ain't happening.

No way.

Listen to me. Trust me. You'll never be
sorry you did it.

You're right. I won't because I'm not
going.

I do these things. I know. You do them,
and I'm happy for you, and I give you

credit for doing it.

I'm not doing it. That's it.

When it comes to family, mothers and
daughters aren't the only ones who

disagree. Watch what happens when
Melissa and Joe are forced to make a

decision together.

That's how you do it, right?

Hi.

How you doing?

How you doing, baby? Pretty good. Are we
interviewing some hosts today?

Yeah. Yeah? So you have their resume
ready and then these are the ones you

Yeah. You should have asked me. I would
have helped you, like, sort through some

of the resumes.

No. Yeah, definitely.

No. I was a hostess in college.

This is a serious thing. You're choosing
someone to run your restaurant that as

soon as people walk in, that's who's
going to greet them and seek them. First

impressions are everything.

Do you know what I mean? Like, how do
you go from being... I'm here for the

interview, my America. Oh, yes, yes. How
are you? Your name is? Carissa.

Carissa, nice to meet you. Hi, how are
you? Melissa, nice to meet you. Sit

here.

Have you hostess before?

I haven't done hostess, but I have done
a lot of promotional modeling.

I've done a whole lot of the same thing.
I've been very social and chat with

people. It's a little different than
modeling.

A little bit. Well, we're representing
you, so I want to make sure that I'm

giving you the image that you want to
portray to your customers.

Right. I like the way she cracks on
those answers. Yeah, which I like.

good answer.

Great answer.

I'm so confused as to what's going on
here. I mean, it felt like it was an

audition for Miss Teen USA. Let's be
real.

Are they all going to dress all sexy
like that with their titties out? I like

her. She was very spunky.

Hello. Hello.

I'm Veronica. Nice to meet you. Veronica
what?

Piambo. Piambo. Oh, you're Italian. You
speak Italian?

When I lived in Italy, I spoke more.

That's awesome. Were you, like, studying
out there? I did study, and then I

lived there, and I taught English.

This is actually great.

You know, I like teachers because, you
know, they care. They like the kids.

Yeah, we sure do. She cares. We're not
going to have a lot of kids here.

Not really. She's Italian.

I love it.

We didn't even ask her if she's hosted
anywhere before.

Calling all hot chick.

Come on out. You want to host us at our
restaurant.

Hot chicks only. Short skirts only.

It was a pleasure.

Thank you so much. All right.

I think she's great.

You liked what she looked like. Let me
tell you something.

Sex sells.

I don't think you're hearing me. She
always definitely thinking with Tarzan.

Amy, nice to meet you. Amy, nice to meet
you. How are you doing? Have you hosted

before? No, but I love Italian food.

How are you with people?

I mean, I'm really shy.

Well, you can't be too shy in this
business because you are greeting the

as they walk in. I think all your flaws,
if you're a little shy, we're going to

work on that.

I like a team player. If you're a
hostess and you've got a waitress once

while, you've got to help around. If
you've got to run around, you've got to

help clean some tables.

I'll do both, yeah.

I think she's perfect.

I'm saying that you're hired right now
on the spot.

There's no callback, no nothing.
Saturday, can you make work?

Yes. Okay.

That's it? Yeah. Thank you. We'll be in
touch.

That was like a little quick to just say
you're hired.

Like three seconds. You're hired. Oh,
you. Oh, yeah, yeah. You're in.

You have a daughter, right? One day
she's going to go into a job interview.

As soon as she sits down, everyone's
just going to see what she looks like.

Don't talk about my daughter. Oh, double
standard.

Number two. Double standard.

I didn't tell them to wear a hat. I
think we're good.

You are so annoying.

Coming up. So I did have sex in a movie
theater.

In a movie?

Danielle, I hear you have some big news
you want to share with the group. I do.

Yeah, what's up? I got engaged.

Wow. How long have you been together?

About a year. Yeah. Yeah. Who's going to
be in the wedding party?

Well, I've invited Teresa to be one of
my maid of honors, along with my

daughters and Margaret and Melissa.

Wow. And I have about 12 other people
that I'm inviting.

12 other people in the wedding party?
Yeah.

Danielle. This is not your first
wedding.

But it's kind of going to have to be.

How did it go down?

The engagement was simply beautiful. I
mean, he is such a gentleman.

Well, lucky for us, we have it on tape.
Let's take a look.

Wow, look how pretty.

Isn't it pretty?

So gorgeous here.

Oh, there must be a wedding going on.

Look how pretty.

Oh, my God.

Look what we get to witness.

Isn't that pretty?

I wish I could dance like that.

Oh, my God.

Is this really happening?

You little...

Baby, when I first met you, I was struck
with how beautiful you are.

As I got to know you, I fell in love
with you.

I'll do everything I can to love you, to
protect you, and to keep you safe.

So, Danielle Starr, will you

marry me?

Absolutely.

100%. She

deserves it. She deserves good things.

She does.

From knowing Danielle in the past, she
hasn't had the best experience with men.

Took her a while to find Marty. But
sometimes you have to kiss a lot of

before you find your prince.

And I'm really, really happy for
Danielle.

Oh, it's so gorgeous, baby.

Danielle swears lots of sex is the key
to her relationship's success.

Check out this never -before -seen
moment where all the ladies share their

secrets for keeping their men satisfied.

When you're with somebody for so long,
not that Marty and I have been together

so long, but you do kind of get into a
routine like, okay, good morning, all

right, let's do this, let's get it done
for the day.

ever want to be that person.

I've had sex in some pretty crazy
places, and I like it. Turns me on a

Really? Yeah, I love public displays.

I actually want to be thrown against a
wall.

Oh, my God. Great job for this
conversation.

Joe, I think you are amazing.

What's the craziest place you've ever
had sex?

All right, craziest place.

All right, my craziest place was in
Punta Cana on the beach. That's where I

pregnant with Melania.

I thought you got pregnant with Melania
in Milan. No, I was pregnant with

Melania. That's how I came up with her
name.

We were in Punta Cana. We put the kids
to bed, Gia and Gabriela.

We went to the casino. I wore a dress
with no underwear.

He's like, you have no underwear?

I'm like, no.

Then we took a walk on the beach.

And then on the beach, it was just, I'm
like, you know, I didn't even care.

I was with my husband 17 years, and I...

Never bored.

Oh, we still got, like, thinking about
it, I would get butterflies.

You know, like, before you know you're
going to do it, and you get, like, that

tingly feeling, and you're like, that's
how it feels.

I just love that feeling. Yeah.

She's already there. I'm moving around.

There's always a little party going on
down there. Yeah. Okay, Melissa.

I mean, I don't know if this is so
daring. I'm not very daring. I think I

like I can play the part, but I don't
really play the part as much. So I did

have sex.

In a movie theater.

Oh, my God.

And the movie theater was packed.

That's awesome. I did it like this.
Wait, how did you do that?

I just, you know. I was very good at not
moving the upper part of the body.

And I didn't move much at all. But how
happy were you afterwards? Wait, that's

pretty amazing.

I felt like such a woman.

Like, the beach was, like, nobody
outside.

But that's there. That's really, like,
yeah.

Wait, I want to know where Margaret did
it. I mean, I feel like, is it so crazy?

Just the airplane bathroom stall, I
guess. I did it. How is that even

I did a little mile high.

I think that's hot sitting on an
airplane.

But then that's kind of weird. People
see two people going in there. I let it

sneak. It's like, I went first. I went
all the way in the back. And then it was

actually my ex -husband, who doesn't
look like a real sex fiend. Hold on.

tight. It is tight. But I was a little
skinnier. You sit on this thing. Okay.

And then he stands?

Yeah, he stands.

Hold on. And then you, like, fall down
into it. Because when you hit

you know, you've got to wrap your legs
around him. Oh, my God. You guys are

making me want to hit the turbulence.

But then the turbulence thing does come
on. Then the flight attendant came

banging on the door. I couldn't get off
that. I was too snappy. Really? I was

nervous. It's like five minutes.

I'm not that snappy. You really tried.

Bravo.

To learn more about the Real Housewives,
go to bravotv .com.