All language subtitles for Looking for Love 1964-en

LOOKING FOR LOVE

I'M JUST LOOKING FOR LOVE

I DON'T WANT FORTUNE
AND I DON'T WANT FAME

DON'T WANT EVERYBODY
TO KNOW MY NAME

YEAH, YEAH,
I'M JUST LOOKING FOR LOVE

L-O-V-E, LOVE

I DON'T WANT DIAMONDS
AND I DON'T WANT PEARLS

DON'T WANT TO BE THE ENVY
OF THE TEENAGE GIRLS

YEAH, YEAH,

I'M JUST LOOKING FOR LOVE

SHE'S JUST
LOOKING FOR LOVE

DON'T WANT TO DRIVE
IN CONVERTIBLE CARS

OR GO TO WILD PARTIES
WITH THE MOVIE STARS

I DON'T WANT TO WEAR
FABULOUS FURS

I JUST WANT TOWELS
MARKED HIS AND HERS

I DON'T WANT
LOTS OF WEALTH UNTOLD

ALL I WANT IS
A LITTLE BAND OF GOLD

YEAH, YEAH,

I'M JUST LOOKING FOR LOVE

SHE'S JUST LOOKING FOR LOVE

YEAH, YEAH,
I'M JUST LOOKING

I'M JUST LOOKING

YEAH, YEAH,
I'M JUST LOOKING

I'M JUST LOOKING
FOR LOVE

DON'T WANT TO DRIVE
IN CONVERTIBLE CARS

GO TO WILD PARTIES
WITH THE MOVIE STARS

I DON'T WANT TO WEAR
FABULOUS FURS

I JUST WANT TO TOWELS
MARKED HIS AND HERS

I DON'T WANT
LOTS OF WEALTH UNTOLD

ALL I WANT IS
A LITTLE BAND OF GOLD

YEAH, YEAH,

I'M JUST LOOKING FOR LOVE

SHE'S JUST LOOKING FOR LOVE

YEAH, YEAH,
I'M JUST LOOKING

I'M JUST LOOKING

YEAH, YEAH,
I'M JUST LOOKING

I'M...

JUST LOOKING

FOR LOVE

FINE, FINE, GREAT!

THAT'S ALL?

THAT'S WHAT
ALL THE OTHER AGENTS SAID.

FINE, FINE, GREAT.

BUT THAT'S ALL.
OKAY. I GIVE UP.

GIVE UP? WHAT GIVE UP?

DON'T YOU THINK
IT'S ABOUT TIME?

MR. SHAY,
I HAVE BEEN IN HOLLYWOOD,

TRYING TO GET IN SHOW BUSINESS
FOR OVER A MONTH!

A MONTH?

YES, AND THAT'S ONLY
AS A PERFORMER.

SUPPOSE I WANTED TO BE
A STAR.

THAT'S WHY I SAID TO MYSELF,
"LIBBY,

IF MR. SHAY DOESN'T GO
COMPLETELY OUT OF THE SKULL

OVER YOU AND YOU BOOK YOU INTO
A JOB SINGING IMMEDIATELY,

THEN TAKE HIS ADVICE
AND FORGET IT."

WHAT ADVICE?
I DIDN'T SAY...

EITHER WAY,
IT'S A RELIEF.

NOW I CAN START TO CONCENTRATE
ON MY BIG AMBITION IN LIFE.

OH,
WHAT'S THAT?

TO GET MARRIED,
AND HAVE BABIES.

THAT'S WHERE MY REAL
TALENT LIES.

WOW.

WHAT?

I SAID,
IF POSSIBLE,

I'D LIKE A JOB
WHERE I CAN MEET A LOT OF MEN.

THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT
YOU SAID.

WHY?

WELL, I FIGURE
AS LONG AS I'M NOT

GOING TO BE
IN SHOW BUSINESS,

THE SOONER I GET MARRIED
AND START

HAVING MY BABIES,
THE BETTER.

WHAT SORT OF MEN
DID YOU HAVE IN MIND?

WELL, MY FIRST CHOICE,
MY DREAM MAN,

WOULD BE A DOCTOR.
BUT THEY'RE ALL MARRIED

BY THE TIME THEY START
PRACTICING.

YOU HAVE TO GO TO COLLEGE AND
CATCH THEM WHILE THEY'RE YOUNG.

ANYWAY,
THE KIND OF MAN,

THAT'S MY PROBLEM.

YOUR PROBLEM'S GOING TO BE
FINDING ME A JOB

WHERE I WON'T GET
IN EVERYBODY'S HAIR.

YOU SEE,
I'M NOT EQUIPPED TO DO ANYTHING

BUT SING.

I CAN BELIEVE THAT.

WELL, FRANKLY,
MS. CARUSO,

UNDER THE CIRCUMSTANCES,
I... YES,

I HAVE THE PERFECT PLACE
FOR A LITTLE LADY LIKE YOU.

-YOU DO?
-YES.

I WANT YOU TO REPORT HERE
TOMORROW MORNING,

SEVEN O'CLOCK SHARP.

A BROKERAGE FIRM?

SEVEN O'CLOCK.

THANK YOU.

SELL ME THEIR LOUSY STOCK,
WILL THEY?

I STILL
DON'T GET IT.

WHY WOULD THEY GIVE YOU
A JOB IN A BROKERAGE FIRM?

I DON'T KNOW.

MR. STOWER ACTED LIKE IT WAS THE
BEST IDEA HE'S HAD IN AGES.

YOU THINK I'M ALLOWING MYSELF
PLENTY OF TIME,

GETTING UP AT SIX?

PLENTY.

YOU SURE THREE ALARMS
WILL BE ENOUGH?

I THINK SO.

LUCKY YOU,
YOU CAN SLEEP TILL LATE.

NIGHT, JAN.

NIGHT, LIBBY.

I'M SORRY, JAN.

I TRIED!

I WISH YOU WOULDN'T
TRY SO LOUD.

WELCOME TO MCBRIDE, BANKLESS,
PRICE, AND BLUITT, MS...

-MS. CARUSO.
-MS. CARUSO, YES.

I'M HARVEY MILLER,
THE OFFICE MANAGER.

HOW DO YOU DO?

I'LL EXPLAIN YOUR DUTIES TO YOU.

JUST PUT YOUR THINGS
OVER THERE.

THANK YOU.

HEY,
THAT'S AN IDEA.

WHAT?

IT'S TOO HEAVY TO LUG AROUND
AND I MAKE

TOO MUCH NOISE AS IT IS.

YOU SEE, WHAT I NEED
IS SOMETHING TO HANG

MY CLOTHES ON OVERNIGHT,

SO THEY DON'T GET SO WRINKLED.
DO YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

I BEG YOUR PARDON?

WHAT DO YOU DO ABOUT
YOUR CLOTHES?

OH, YOU HAVE THE SAME PROBLEM,
DON'T YOU?

IF I THINK OF ANYTHING,
I'LL LET YOU KNOW.

ABOUT MY DUTIES?

YES,
THIS WAY.

NOW, IN ADDITION TO
SORTING AND FILING TO MAIL,

WE'LL EXPECT YOU TO TAKE OVER
THE SWITCHBOARD OCCASIONALLY.

YOU DO KNOW HOW TO RUN ONE?

MS. CARUSO.

NICE.

MS. CARUSO.

VERY NICE.

MS. CARUSO,
THIS WAY, PLEASE.

VERY NICE INDEED.

VERY NICE.

MS. JACKSON,
MS. CARUSO.

HOW DO YOU DO,
MS. JACKSON?

MS. JACKSON HAS BEEN WITH US
37 YEARS.

37 YEARS?

38 NEXT SEPTEMBER.

38? AND YOU'RE STILL SINGLE?
I MEAN,

I'M VERY HAPPY TO MEET YOU,
MS. JACKSON.

NOTICE,
YOU PLUG IN...

MCBRIDE BANKLESS,
PRICE, AND BLUITT.

GOOD MORNING.

MS. CARUSO.

38 YEARS
AND SHE'S STILL SINGLE?

MS. CARUSO! I'M NOT AT ALL SURE
THIS IS GOING TO WORK.

NEITHER AM I.
BUT I'LL GIVE IT A TRY.

SO I DECIDED TO STAY ON.
YOU KNOW,

AT LEAST GIVE THEM A CHANCE.
WHERE ARE THE BROOMS?

WHAT DO YOU WANT
WITH A BROOM?

I'M GOING TO INVENT
SOMETHING TO HANG CLOTHES ON.

SAY, THAT'S AN IDEA.
WHY NOT GO WITH A HANGER?

WHAT'S THE MATTER?

I JUST HAD THE FUNNIEST FEELING.

WHAT?

YOU'LL PROBABLY THINK I'M A NUT,

BUT LIKE SOMETHING IS GOING TO
HAPPEN.

LIKE I'M GOING TO MEET HIM.
JAN, HOW DO I LOOK?

YOU'RE RIGHT,
I DO THINK YOU'RE A NUT.

GO GET YOUR BROOM.

IT'S NOT MY IMAGINATION.

THE FEELING'S TOO STRONG.

TAKE MY WORD FOR IT.
SOMETHING IS GOING TO HAPPEN.

WATCH OUT!
NO, NO!

OH, NO,
IT'S HAPPENING!

IT'S A NIGHTMARE!

I REALLY COULDN'T SEE A THING
WHEN I WAS COMING AROUND

WITH THOSE BOXES.

ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

IT'S OKAY.

YOU SURE?

POSITIVE.
NO HARM DONE.

GOOD GRIEF.
WHAT IN THE WORLD IS...

-STILL GOT IT.
-WHAT?

THAT FEELING THAT
SOMETHING'S GOING TO HAPPEN.

HELLO, JAN.

OH,
HI PAUL.

THAT'S HIM.

THAT'S WHO?
PAUL?

I ALWAYS KNEW I'D KNOW HIM
THE MINUTE I SAW HIM.

THAT'S PAUL DAVIS.
HE WORKS AT THE OFFICE.

HE DOES?
WHAT DOES HE DO?

MOSTLY COMPLAIN
ABOUT WASTING HIS TALENT.

HE'S IN PROMOTION.

PROMOTION?

OH, BUT DON'T GIVE HIM
A SECOND THOUGHT, HONEY.

HE ONLY LIKES GIRLS WHO ARE TALL
AND TOP HEAVY.

WELL, I MAY BE SHORT,
BUT I'M NOT EXACTLY...

PERSONALLY,
I CAN'T STAND HIM.

YOU CAN'T,
HUH?

YOU MEAN YOU HAVE A THING FOR
HIM YOURSELF?

CERTAINLY NOT.
OF COURSE NOT. NO!

THANK GOODNESS.
NO WONDER I HAD THAT FEELING.

WHAT FEELING?

DESTINY.

DESTINY?

ISN'T IT ALL PERFECTLY CLEAR?

NO, NO,
NOT AT ALL.

BOY, DO YOU EVER NEED A TON OF
BRICKS TO FALL ON YOUR HEAD,

BEFORE YOU GET THE POINT.

NOT AGAIN!

OH, NO!

NO, IT CAN'T BE!

NO!

ISN'T SHE BEAUTIFUL?

GORGEOUS.
WHAT IS IT?

MY LADY VALET.

OH, THAT'S WHAT IT IS.

I'M GOING TO PUT THE CLOTHES
THAT I WANT TO WEAR TOMORROW

ON THIS TONIGHT.

THEY'LL HANG BEAUTIFULLY,
NO WRINKLES OR ANYTHING,

AND IN THE MORNING,
I CAN GET DRESSED

WITHOUT MAKING ANY NOISE.

THAT MEANS AN EXTRA HOUR
OF SLEEP FOR YOU.

FOR THAT,
I'D DO ANYTHING.

WILL YOU INTRODUCE ME
TO PAUL?

WHAT DO YOU WANT WITH HIM?
YOU MET A DARLING GUY TODAY.

-WHO?
CRUZ.

CUZ?
CUZ WHO?

COME ON, GIRL.
YOU HAVE TWO HEAD-ON COLLISIONS,

PRACTICALLY PUT A SUPERMARKET
OUT OF BUSINESS,

AND YOU HAVE THE NERVE
TO ASK ME CUZ WHO?

I GUESS HE DIDN'T MAKE
MUCH OF AN IMPRESSION ON ME.

AND PAUL DID?

SURE.
LOOK HOW CUTE WE MET.

CUTE?
HE NEVER EVEN NOTICED YOU.

THAT'S NOT CUTE?

YOU DO HAVE A THING FOR HIM
YOURSELF.

I DO NOT.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW HIM.

WHY, THERE ARE 207,000 PEOPLE
WORKING AT THAT OFFICE.

207,000 PEOPLE
LIKE HIM?

NO. AS HE WOULD BE THE FIRST TO
ADMIT, HE IS ONE OF A KIND.

THAT'S FOR SURE.

YOU'RE HOPELESS.

HEY, I KNOW.

WHY DON'T WE INVITE HIM
TO THE PARTY?

WHAT PARTY?

WE'RE HAVING A SORT OF OPEN
HOUSE TOMORROW NIGHT.

YOU KNOW, EVERYBODY BRING THEIR
OWN BEER AND COKES.

COME ANYTIME AFTER 7 OR 8.

WHO'S EVERYBODY?

ALL THE KIDS, THE GANG,
ANYBODY WE DECIDE TO INVITE.

CID, KATHY,
HERB, LINDA,

RIP, PAUL.

DEBBY, JACK.

COME ON, EVERYBODY

LET'S HAVE A PARTY

COME ON, EVERYBODY

LET'S HAVE
A PARTY TONIGHT

WE'RE GOING TO HAVE OURSELVES
A LOT OF FUN

WE'RE GOING TO SWING
UNTIL THE PARTY'S DONE

COME ON AND DIG IT'S
A CRAZY SOUND

IT'S THE WILDEST SOUND
FOR MILES AROUND

LET'S HAVE A PARTY

COME ON, EVERYBODY

LET'S HAVE A PARTY

LET'S HAVE
A PARTY TONIGHT

THERE'LL BE SOME PIZZA
IF YOU WANT A SLICE

COME ON BOBBY,
JILLY, TRUDY AND JACK

WE'RE GOING TO SING
THOSE OLD-TIME SONGS

WE'RE GOING TO RIP IT UP
ALL NIGHT LONG

LET'S HAVE A PARTY

COME ON, EVERYBODY

COME ON, EVERYBODY

LET'S HAVE
A PARTY TONIGHT

LET ME HEAR IT
LIKE IT IS NOW! GO

WE'LL DRINK SOME SODAS
AND LEMONADE

LATER ON,
WE'RE GOING TO PLAY CHARADES

AND JUST BEFORE
IT'S TIME TO GO

WE'RE GOING TO TURN THE LIGHTS
WAY DOWN LOW

LET'S HAVE A PARTY,
COME ON, EVERYBODY

COME ON, EVERYBODY

LET'S HAVE
A PARTY TONIGHT

WE'RE GOING
TO RAMP IT TONIGHT

WE'RE GOING
TO SWING ALL NIGHT

LET'S HAVE A PARTY TONIGHT

CAN I GET THROUGH HERE?

HI, ANGEL!

HI YOURSELF.

BOY, YOU SURE GOT A LOT
OF ODDBALLS AROUND HERE.

WE MAKE A SELECTION OF THEM,
THAT'S WHY WE INVITED YOU.

HEY, LOOK,
BEFORE WE GO ANY FURTHER,

I THINK THERE'S SOMETHING
YOU OUGHTA KNOW.

IF THERE'S ONE THING
I CAN'T STAND,

IT'S A SMART ALECK BROAD, SO...

I'LL TRY TO REMEMBER.

OH, CUZ RICKOVER,
PAUL DAVIS.

CRUZ?
-PAUL?

-YEAH, HOW ARE YOU?
-FINE, HOW ARE YOU?

GOOD TO SEE YOU.
NOW, IF I'M NOT BEING TOO NOSEY,

JUST WHY DID YOU INVITE ME?

I DIDN'T.
MY ROOMMATE DID.

I'LL SEE IF I CAN FIND HER.

AIN'T IT A SHAME?

THE MINUTE THEY START TO AGE,
THEY GET BITTER.

WHAT'S THAT?

DID SOMEBODY LEFT OVER
FROM THE LAST PARTY?

-OH, THIS?
-YEAH.

THIS IS LITTLE OLD
LIBB'S INVENTION.

-LITTLE OLD WHO?
-LIBBY.

THAT'S JAN'S ROOMMATE.

OH, YEAH.
WHAT IT SUPPOSED TO BE?

SHE CALLS IT THE LADY VALET.

WHAT ELSE WOULD YOU CALL IT?

THE GIRLS SEEM TO THINK
IT'S A KEEN IDEA.

YOU SEE, INSTEAD OF PUTTING
THEIR CLOTHES OUT AT NIGHT,

OR SOMETHING,
PUT IT ON THIS.

SORT OF LIKE HAVING A LONG,
THIN, ANEMIC MAID.

IT DOES HAVE POSSIBILITIES.
HAS SHE DONE ANYTHING WITH IT?

LIKE WHAT?

LIKE PUT IT ON THE MARKET?

I DON'T KNOW.

NOW, THIS IS SOMETHING
I COULD REALLY PROMOTE.

THIS, I THINK
I COULD DO SOMETHING WITH.

WHERE'S
WHAT'S HER NAME?

-WHO, LIBBY?
-YEAH.

RIGHT THERE.

NO, WAIT A MINUTE.

THERE.

DON'T GO AWAY,
SLIM.

I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR YOU!

-YOU HAVE?
-YEAH.

IS THERE SOME PLACE TO TALK?

-OUTSIDE!
-HUH?

OUTSIDE!

YEAH,
I'LL RUN INTERFERENCE.

COME ON.

EXCUSE ME.
PARDON ME.

I SAW YOUR INVENTION.

WHAT?

I SAID,
I SAW YOUR INVENTION.

SORRY,
I STILL COULDN'T HEAR YOU.

-WHAT DID YOU SAY?
-I SAID, ONE LOOK.

THAT'S ALL IT TOOK.

ONE LOOK.
IT HIT ME.

IT DID? WHY, THAT'S THE VERY
SAME REACTION I HAD.

THAT'S WHY I ASKED JAN
TO INVITE YOU.

OH, AND SHE TRIED
TO TALK YOU OUT OF IT,

-RIGHT, DOLL?
-SHE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND.

YEAH, SHE'S LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE
DOWN IN THAT PLACE.

THEY THINK I'M A LOT OF NOISE.

ALL I NEED IS ONE CHANCE
TO PROVE MYSELF.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO PROVE ANYTHING
TO ME, PAUL.

I DON'T KNOW.
NOW,

ARE YOU SURE YOU WOULDN'T
PREFER SOMEBODY

WITH A LITTLE MORE EXPERIENCE?

DEFINITELY NOT.
I'M OLD-FASHIONED.

THERE'S JUST ONE THING.

I'M NOT EXACTLY CRAZY
ABOUT THE SHAPE.

YOU'RE NOT?

I SUPPOSE I COULD DO SOME
EXERCISES.

YEAH, WELL DON'T WORRY, DEAR.
WITH ME HANDLING YOU,

WE ARE HOME.
NOW, WHEN I GET THROUGH,

WE ARE GOING TO HAVE SOMETHING
THAT LOOKS LIKE SOMETHING.

-NOW, WHAT'S THE MATTER?
-NOTHING.

OKAY, THEN I'LL SEE YOU
TOMORROW. OKAY, SWEETIE?

SURE, HONEY.

DON'T YOU WANT TO SEAL IT
WITH A KISS?

OH, WHAT'S YOUR NAME AGAIN?

LIBBY.
LIBBY CARUSO.

LIBBY CARUSO.
OKAY.

I'LL TALK TO YOU TOMORROW,
OKAY, ANGEL?

JAN, HE LOVES ME.
HE REALLY LOVES ME.

WHO?
PAUL?

OH, DON'T BE RIDICULOUS.

HE SAID SO.
HE TOLD ME.

HE TOLD YOU?

HE CALLED ME DOLL,
SWEETIE, ANGEL.

-ANGEL?
-THAT'S RIGHT, ANGEL.

AND HE KISSED ME TOO.
ONLY NOT ENOUGH FOR BELLS,

ON ACCOUNT OF HE MISSED.

BELLS?

WHEN HE KISSES ME,
REALLY KISSES ME,

THEN I'LL HEAR BELLS.

HI!

HI.

DID YOU SEE THAT?

DID YOU SEE THE WAY
SHE SMILED AT ME?

YEAH.
DID YOU?

HEY, WHERE CAN I FIND
WHAT'S HER NAME?

-WHO?
-WHAT'S HER NAME, THE HALF-PINT.

LOOK, I'VE BEEN CALLING
THE APARTMENT.

THERE'S NO ANSWER, AND THIS IS
VERY IMPORTANT.

I GOT TO SET THE DATE.

SET THE DATE?
BUT YOU JUST MET HER!

SO WHAT? LOOK,
I HAD TO PULL STRINGS

SO WE WOULDN'T HAVE
TO WAIT ON THIS.

NOW, JUST A MINUTE.
LIBBY IS MY BEST FRIEND,

AND I FEEL RESPONSIBLE FOR HER.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT
YOU'VE GOT IN YOUR MIND,

BUT IF IT IS IN YOUR MIND,
IT CAN'T BE LEGITIMATE.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

I'M TALKING ABOUT
THE TONIGHT SHOW.

THEY'RE ONLY GOING TO BE HERE ON
THE COAST FOR A WEEK,

AND I'VE GOT HER SET FOR IT
THROUGH THIS GUY I KNOW.

THE TONIGHT SHOW?
ON TELEVISION?

JOHNNY CARSON?

YEAH, YEAH.

I'M TRYING TO HELP HER GET THIS
LADY VALET OF HERS LAUNCHED.

NOW, ANY KIND OF LUCK,
SOME MANUFACTURER WILL SEE IT,

AND WE'LL BE OFF TO THE RACES.

NOW, IS THAT
LEGITIMATE ENOUGH FOR YOU?

YOU CAN REACH HER AT WORK.

SWELL.

OH, THE FBI EVER
NEEDS ANY HELP,

COULD I TELL THEM ABOUT YOU?

OH, REALLY?

SO, THIS FRIEND OF MINE,

HE TALKED TO THIS FRIEND OF HIS
THAT HE KNOWS.

AND THIS FRIEND OF HIS,
HE KNOWS A FRIEND,

WHO TALKED TO ANOTHER FRIEND,

TO TALK TO SOMEBODY CONNECTED
WITH YOU.

I THINK YOUR MOTHER?

AND THE NEXT THING YOU KNOW,
HERE I AM ON THE SHOW.

GOOD OLD MOM.

SEE, MR. CARSON, I CAN'T TELL
YOU HOW THRILLED I AM.

YOU KNOW, YOUR SHOW
IS MY MOST FAVORITE

WHEN I CAN'T GO TO SLEEP.

I'M THRILLED TO HEAR THAT.

HEY, THIS CRAZY THING
YOU HAVE HERE,

THAT LOOKS LIKE A BLIND DATE
FOR A MARTIAN,

TELL ME ABOUT THIS,
WILL YOU?

THERE'S NOTHING MORE TO TELL.

WHAT? NOTHING?
KEEP TALKING, ANGEL.

I REALLY ONLY INVENTED IT
SO THAT I COULD HAVE ONE MYSELF.

YOU SEE, WHEN I GAVE UP SHOW
BUSINESS,

AND GOT MYSELF A NORMAL JOB,

I DISCOVERED HOW HARD IT IS
TO GET DRESSED IN THE MORNING.

LADY VALET MAKES IT EASY.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN
YOU GAVE UP SHOW BUSINESS?

WELL, I STARTED OUT TO BE
A SINGER.

WHAT KIND OF A KICK
IS SHE ON?

BUT I WAS GETTING NOWHERE FAST,
SO I GAVE IT UP,

AND I GOT THIS JOB
WHERE I WORK NOW,

AT THE MCBRIDE, BANKLESS, PRICE,
AND BLUITT BROKERAGE COMPANY.

AND ANOTHER THING,
ABOUT THE LADY.

WHAT A SECOND. YOU SAID YOU USED
TO BE A SINGER?

I TRIED TO BE.

IT DIDN'T WORK OUT, HUH?
WHAT HAPPENED?

WELL, ACCORDING TO ALL OF
THE AGENTS WHO LISTENED TO ME,

I HAVE A GOOD VOICE,
PHRASE WELL,

A NICE PERSONALITY,
I'M CUTE,

BUT OUTSIDE OF THAT,
NOTHING.

YOU KNOW SOMETHING, I'D KIND OF
LIKE TO HEAR

OUTSIDE OF THAT NOTHING.

HOW ABOUT YOU?

I DIDN'T BRING ANY MUSIC.
HEY, I KNOW.

MY FRIEND COULD ACCOMPANY ME.

WHERE'S YOUR FRIEND?

WELL, HE'S RIGHT THERE
BACKSTAGE.

ALL RIGHT.

COME ON, CUZ.

UH, DON,
YOU'VE BEEN REPLACED.

NO, HE HASN'T.
HE HAS.

HE PLAYS THE BASS?

ONLY AS A HOBBY.

MR. CARSON, EVERYBODY,
THIS IS MY FRIEND,

CUZ RICKOVER.

TICK TOCK, WHEN THE CLOCK
STRIKES MIDNIGHT

I THINK OF YOU

TICK TOCK

WHEN THE CLOCK STRIKES
MIDNIGHT

YOU'RE OUT
WITH SOMEONE NEW

I TOSS AND TURN,
I NEVER SLEEP

I'M COUNTING TEARS,
INSTEAD OF SHEEP

TICK TOCK

WHEN THE STRIKES MIDNIGHT

YOU'VE GOT ME
FEELING BLUE

I STILL REMEMBER
HOW IT USED TO BE

WHEN THE CLOCK
STRUCK MIDNIGHT

YOU WERE KISSING ME

TICK TOCK, WHEN THE CLOCK
STRIKES MIDNIGHT

I THINK OF YOU

TICK TOCK

WHEN THE CLOCK STRIKES
MIDNIGHT

I WONDER WHAT TO DO

I STILL REMEMBER
HOW IT USED TO BE

WHEN THE CLOCK
STRUCK MIDNIGHT

YOU WERE KISSING ME

TICK TOCK

WHEN THE CLOCK
STRIKES MIDNIGHT

I THINK OF YOU

TICK TOCK, WHEN THE CLOCK
STRIKES MIDNIGHT

I WONDER WHAT TO DO

TOMORROW NIGHT,
KNOCK ON MY DOOR

AND WE'LL BE HAPPY
LIKE BEFORE

TICK TOCK, WHEN THE CLOCK
STRIKES MIDNIGHT

I'LL BE KISSING YOU

AND I WON'T BE BLUE

I'LL KNOW
WHAT TO DO

WHEN THE CLOCK
STRIKES MIDNIGHT

ACTUALLY, I WAS MUCH MORE
IMPRESSED

WITH THIS YOUNG LADY'S SINGING

THAN I WAS WITH THIS GADGET
SHE DREAMED UP.

-GADGET?
-OH, IT'S A NICE LITTLE GIMMICK.

BUT MY COMPANY ONLY DEVELOPS NEW
PRODUCTS, NOT GIMMICKS.

WELL, THEN I DON'T UNDERSTAND
SIR, WHY DID YOU SEND FOR ME?

WELL, THERE'S NO REASON WHY
WE CAN'T TALK A LITTLE ABOUT IT,

IS IT?

NOW, WE CAN TALK.
BUT BEFORE WE DO, ONE THING.

WHAT'S THAT,
MY BOY?

SIR, WOULD YOU STOP PRETENDING
YOU'RE NOT INTERESTED,

SO I CAN STOP PRETENDING
THAT I'M OVERCONFIDENT,

WHICH IS IMPOSSIBLE TO DO
IN THIS CHAIR.

-START FROM SCRATCH.
-THANK YOU.

ALL RIGHT,
YOU LIKE THE INVENTION?

ALL RIGHT, GOOD.

NOW, I HAVE MADE
A COUPLE OF DETAILED SKETCHES.

NOW, YOU'LL NOTICE I'VE SMOOTHED
IT OUT A LITTLE BIT HERE,

AND SIMPLIFIED IT A LITTLE BIT
THERE, BUT THAT'S ALL.

THIS IS STILL BASICALLY
WHAT'S HER NAME'S IDEA.

AND I HAVE PLANNED AN ENTIRE
PROMOTION CAMPAIGN.

A LOT OF WORK.
LOOKS LIKE A LABOR OF LOVE.

THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT IT IS.

THEN HOW COME YOU DON'T KNOW
WHAT'S HER NAME'S NAME?

WHO?
OH, I KNOW HER NAME.

OH, NO SIR.
NO, NOT THAT KIND OF LOVE.

-NOT WITH HER.
-NO?

NO, SIR.
SHE'S TOO SHORT.

I'M TRYING TO HELP HER,
THAT'S ALL.

AND IT AIN'T EASY.

WHY IS THAT?

WELL, SHE'S SUCH A KID.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S THE MATTER
WITH HER.

HER MIND IS ALWAYS...

WOULD YOU BELIEVE THAT HALF THE
TIME SHE LOOKS RIGHT AT ME.

SHE DOESN'T HEAR
A WORD I'M SAYING.

REALLY?

CONFIDENTIALLY, SIR,
SHE NEEDS SOMEBODY

TO WATCH OUT FOR HER INTERESTS.

AND WHAT IS YOUR CUT
FOR ALL THIS PROTECTION?

WHAT'S YOUR PIECE
OF THE ACTION?

ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.

SEE, I FIGURE I DO A GOOD JOB
SELLING THIS,

AND I GIVE A GUY LIKE YOU
THE IDEA THAT YOUR COMPANY

CAN'T GET ALONG WITHOUT ME.

OH, I SEE.

YOU DON'T WANT A PIECE
OF HER ACTION,

YOU WANT A PIECE OF MINE.

WELL, I WOULDN'T
TURN DOWN AN OFFER

WITHOUT GIVING IT SOME THOUGHT.

AND I WOULDN'T MAKE AN OFFER
WITHOUT GIVING IT SOME THOUGHT.

-OKAY.
-OKAY WHAT?

I'VE GIVEN IT SOME THOUGHT.

-YEAH?
-I'M GONNA GIVE YOU A CHANCE.

I'LL TAKE ON THE INVENTION,
AND YOU.

-AH, MR. FRONT, YOU WON'T--
-BUT GET SOMETHING STRAIGHT.

THE FRONT DEVELOPMENT COMPANY
HAS SURVIVED

MANY YEARS WITHOUT YOU.

SIR, I KNOW YOU'VE SURVIVED.
I WANT YOU TO PROSPER.

MCBRIDE, BANKLESS, PRICE, AND
BLUITT, ONE MOMENT PLEASE.

-HELLO? HELLO?
-HELLO, WHO'S THIS?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHO'S THIS?
WHO'S THIS?

OPERATOR,
ARE YOU RINGING OPERATOR?

RINGING WHAT?
I'M TRYING TO... HELLO?

THAT YOU, ANGEL?
LISTEN, HAVE I GOT GREAT NEWS.

OH, PAUL,
I'M HERE ALL ALONE,

AND THIS BOARD IS GOING LIKE
CRAZY.

HOLD ON A MINUTE.

ONE MOMENT, PLEASE.

THERE'S ALL THE CALLS
FOR THE BROKERAGE,

AND THE STRANGEST PEOPLE ARE
CALLING ME!

I'M GOING OUT OF MY EVER-LOVING
MIND!

WHAT GREAT NEWS, PAUL?

SWEETIE,
TRY TO PAY ATTENTION.

LIBBY,
HAVEN'T YOU GOT MY CALL YET?

PLEASE, I'M NOT FINISHED
WITH MY OWN CALL YET.

GO ON, PAUL.

MR. FRONT,
HE WANTS THE INVENTION.

HE'S GOING TO PUT IT
ON THE MARKET,

AND ON OUR TERMS,
ANGEL, OUR TERMS!

OH, FABULOUS!
HOLD ON.

ANGEL MCBRIDE,
BANKLESS, AND BLUITT.

OPERATOR, I HAVE A LONG DISTANCE
CALL FOR THIS NUMBER.

OH, LOTS OF LUCK.
PAUL, WHAT ELSE?

HE'S AGREED TO LET ME HANDLE
THE ENTIRE PROMOTION,

AND THE FIRST THING I HAVE TO DO
IS TO GET A BIG STAR

TO ENDORSE THE LADY.

OH, HOW WONDERFUL.
HOLD ON.

-YEAH?
-MS. CARUSO?

LIBBY? TIGER SHAY.

OH, MR. SHAY,
TIGER,

THE MOST WONDERFUL THING'S
HAPPENED.

WAIT A MINUTE.
YES?

OUTSIDE LINE
FOR MR. MCBRIDE.

OUTSIDE, OUTSIDE.

-LIBBY.
-I'LL BE RIGHT BACK, TIGER.

-PAUL? PAUL?
-LINE FOR MR. MCBRIDE.

PAUL.
WHERE'D YOU GO, PAUL?

-ARE YOU RINGING...
-PAUL?

MCBRIDE, BANKLESS, PRICE,
AND BLUITT.

LIBBY, LISTEN, I CAUGHT YOU ON
THAT SHOW LAST NIGHT,

AND I WANT
TO TALK TO YOU.

WILL YOU WAIT A MINUTE,
TIGER?

PAUL?
PAUL?

PAUL?

DO YOU KNOW WHO THIS IS?

THIS IS THE OWNER AND PRESIDENT
OF THIS OUTFIT, HORACE MCBRIDE.

OH?
DO YOU KNOW WHO THIS IS?

-NO.
-GOOD.

LIBBY...

JUST ONE MOMENT.
WAIT A MINUTE.

WAIT A MINUTE!
WAIT A MINUTE!

SO THERE THEY WERE,
MR. MCBRIDE,

MR. MILLER,
ALL OF THE BROKERS,

EVERYBODY SCREAMING AT ME,
AND THE BOARDS BUZZING,

AND THE LIGHTS BLAZING.

WHAT DID YOU DO?

I DID WHAT ANY OTHER NORMAL,
SENSIBLE GIRL WOULD DO

UNDER THE CIRCUMSTANCES.
I HAD HYSTERICS.

OH, LIBB, IT'S JUST STAGGERING,
IT'S SO EXCITING.

ISN'T IT THOUGH?
JUST LIKE THAT,

AND YOUR WHOLE LIFE CHANGES?

NO TELLING HOW MUCH MONEY
YOU'LL MAKE.

MONEY?
I'M TALKING ABOUT PAUL AND ME,

TONIGHT,
OUR FIRST DATE.

BUT I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING
TO MR. FRONT'S TO TALK BUSINESS.

WELL, WE ARE. WE'RE GOING TO BE
MEETING SOME OF THE PEOPLE

PAUL WILL BE WORKING WITH,
AND DISCUSS WHAT STAR

PAUL'S GOING TO GET TO ENDORSE
THE LADY,

AND A MILLION OTHER THINGS.

I'LL BE SEEING A LOT OF HIM NOW.
HE DOESN'T HAVE A CHANCE.

NEITHER HAVE YOU,
IF YOU'RE GOING

TO KEEP THAT THING BUTTONED UP
TO THERE.

I AM SELLING MYSELF
AS A POTENTIAL WIFE AND MOTHER.

SWELL, JUST AS LONG AS YOU DON'T
LET HIM KNOW

THAT'S WHAT HE'S GETTING.

WELL, THAT'S
WHAT I INTEND TO BE.

AND THAT'S EXACTLY
WHAT I TOLD TIGER.

-WHO?
-TIGER SHAY, THE AGENT.

I SAID,
"LOOK, TIGER,

I'M NOT INTERESTED
IN SHOW BUSINESS ANYMORE,"

AND HE WOULDN'T BELIEVE ME.

WAIT A MINUTE.
BACK UP.

TIGER?

TIGER SHAY,
THE AGENT.

I SAID, "LOOK, TIGER,
I'M NOT INTERESTED

IN SHOW BUSINESS ANYMORE."

HOLD IT, HOLD IT.
HE CALLED YOU?

-YEAH.
-ABOUT YOUR SINGING?

-MM-HMM.
-SO?

SO I SAID,
"LOOK, TIGER,

I'M NOT INTERESTED
IN SHOW BUSINESS ANYMORE."

YOU SAID NO?

YEAH.

YEAH?

YEAH.

ONE QUESTION.

WHAT HAPPENED TO THE KID
WHO CRIED HER EYES OUT

BECAUSE SHE HAD TO GIVE UP
SINGING?

OH, JAN,
WILL YOU USE YOUR HEAD?

ME?

WHAT DO I NEED
WITH SHOW BUSINESS NOW?

I FOUND PAUL.

ALL I WANT TO DO IS CONVINCE HIM
THAT I'M WHAT HE NEEDS,

AND THAT HE CAN BE AS SURE OF ME
AS I AM OF HIM.

WHAT MAKES YOU THINK
YOU CAN BE SURE OF HIM?

THAT'S SOMETHING YOU KNOW HERE.
AND WHEN YOU KNOW IT HERE,

YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT
ANYTHING

BEING BUTTONED UP TO HERE.

OH, YES,

I'VE BEEN HEAD OF THE PUBLICITY
DEPARTMENT

FOR THE FRONT DEVELOPMENT
COMPANY,

FOR OVER A YEAR NOW.

THAT'S AMAZING.

CIGARETTE?

AND THEY'RE SO...
I MEAN, YOU ARE SO YOUNG.

THANK YOU.

I WAS AFRAID YOU MIGHT NOT LIKE
WORKING WITH ME, MR. DAVIS.

SOME MEN ARE VERY UNCOMFORTABLE
AROUND CAREER WOMEN, YOU KNOW.

OH, NOT ME.

I ADMIRE A WOMAN WITH BRAINS
AND TALENT,

ESPECIALLY ONE WHO'S
NOT AFRAID TO SHOW IT.

I'M SO GLAD.
AND YOU, MS. CARUSO,

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

OH, I THINK HE'S RIGHT.

YOU'RE CERTAINLY NOT AFRAID
TO SHOW IT.

I PLAN TO DESIGN THREE OUTFITS
FOR THE LADY VALET

TO USE FOR PUBLICITY PICTURES.

AN AFTERNOON DRESS,
A COCKTAIL DRESS,

AND SOMETHING FOR THE BEDROOM.

ACTUALLY,
THE CHOICE IS UP TO YOU.

I PREFER THE BEDROOM.

I LIKE THE BEDROOM TOO,
MS. LAROW.

MATTER OF FACT,
I LIKE YOUR WHOLE APPROACH.

DON'T YOU,
LIBB?

WELL, THERE'S CERTAINLY A LOT
TO BE SAID FOR IT.

AS YOU CAN SEE,
IT WAS A DECISION I HAD TO MAKE

ALL BY MYSELF.

WAS I GOING TO BE CONTENT
TO BE A RICH MAN'S DAUGHTER,

IDLY WAITING FOR A RICH MAN'S
SON
TO COME ALONG AND MARRY ME?

ANOTHER FEMALE WITH NO AIM?
NO PURPOSE IN LIFE,

NO MEANING.

OR WAS I GOING TO HAVE THE
COURAGE TO GO OUT IN THE WORLD

AND REALLY DO SOMETHING
ON MY OWN?

AND THAT'S HOW YOU BECAME
A MODEL?

-THAT'S HOW I BECAME A MODEL.
-FASCINATING.

WELL, YOU'RE EXACTLY WHO
WE'RE GOING TO APPEAL TO

IN OUR ADVERTISING CAMPAIGN
TO PROMOTE

THE LADY VALET, MS. DIVINE.

YOU AND ALL THE WOMEN LIKE YOU.
THE AMERICAN CAREER WOMEN.

THE WOMEN MEN ADMIRE.
THE WOMEN OF TODAY.

THE WOMEN--
HOLD IT.

THE WOMEN WHO DO THINGS.

-THE WOMEN WHO DO THINGS?
-YEAH.

THE WOMEN WHO DO THINGS?
OH, I LIKE THAT.

SO DO I.

MY BOY,
THAT'S GOT A MESSAGE.

DON'T YOU GET THE MESSAGE?

MR. FRONT, I GOT THE MESSAGE
THREE HOURS AGO.

WHAT IN THE...
WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?

OKAY, SO MAYBE I'M NOT
T AND T.

T AND T?

TALL AND TOP HEAVY.

I CAN STILL BE A WOMAN
WHO DOES THINGS.

HELLO,
TIGER?

I'VE CHANGED MY MIND.

I AM INTERESTED
IN SHOW BUSINESS.

FEELING GREAT,
FEELING FINE

FEEL LIKE CHAMPAGNE
AND WINE

THIS IS MY HAPPIEST MOMENT

THIS IS THE MOMENT
I SHINE

MY HEART SIGHS,
MY HEART FAINTS

I'M TELLING YOU,
YOU'RE NOT TELLING ME.

NOW WAIT A MINUTE.

THIS IS MY HAPPIEST MOMENT

I GOT FIVE DOLLARS
IN HARD, COLD CASH,

THAT SAYS YOU'RE WRONG.

ALL RIGHT.

MY HAPPIEST MOMENT

I'M NEVER DONE,
I'M NEVER BLUE

THE SKY'S IN VIEW

IT'S TOO GOOD
TO BE TRUE

TIGER, YOU DON'T HAVE TO
SELL ME ON HER.

I LIKE HER FINE.

YEAH, I KNOW,
BUT SHE'S WASTED HERE, HENRY.

WHAT SHE NEEDS
IS A BREAK.

I WAS JUST SETTING UP
FOR THE DEMONSTRATION,

MS. MIMIO.
I SEE THE INTERESTING FEATURE.

WHAT MAKES THE LADY VALET
UNIQUE, OF COURSE,

IS THE WAY THAT IT WORKS.

OH, I'M TERRIBLY SORRY.
ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

OH, I DID IT.
ARE YOU...

THE DOOR.

THE DOOR?

FEELING GREAT,
FEELING FINE

FEEL LIKE CHAMPAGNE
AND WINE

THIS IS MY HAPPIEST MOMENT

THIS IS THE MOMENT I SHINE

MY HEART SIGHS,
MY HEART SINGS

DREAMING
SUCH CRAZY THINGS

THIS IS MY HAPPIEST MOMENT

I COULD FLY TO THE MOON
WITHOUT WINGS

I'M IN LOVE

GOT MY CANDLE ALIGHT

I'M THE LUCKIEST ONE
UNDER THE SUN

I SEE BLUE,
SKY'S IN VIEW

IT'S TOO GOOD
TO BE TRUE

THIS IS MY HAPPIEST MOMENT

AND I'M HAPPY
TO SHARE IT

SHE'S TOO GOOD FOR THIS JOINT.
JUST ONE BREAK.

THAT'S ALL SHE NEEDS.
JUST ONE BREAK.

AND ONCE YOU SEE HOW THIS WORKS,
MS. PRENTICE,

WE THINK YOU'LL ACTUALLY
WANT TO ENDORSE THE INVENTION.

WHAT DO YOU CALL IT?

WHAT DO WE--
WE CALL THIS THE LADY VALET.

NOW, YOU'LL NOTICE
AN INTERESTING--

OH, I'M SORRY
MS. PRENTICE.

EXCUSE ME.

SIT DOWN. I THINK I GOT YOU
RIGHT IN THE MOUTH, HUH?

-YEAH, I'LL SAY.
-YOU ALL RIGHT?

GET OUT OF HERE,
WOULD YOU?

FEELING GREAT,
FEELING FINE

FEEL LIKE CHAMPAGNE
AND WINE

THIS IS MY HAPPIEST MOMENT

THIS IS THE MOMENT I SHINE

MY HEART SIGHS,
MY HEART SINGS

DREAMING
SUCH CRAZY THINGS

THIS IS MY HAPPIEST MOMENT

I COULD FLY TO THE MOON
WITHOUT WINGS

IF ONLY THE KID
COULD GET A REAL BREAK.

OH, MY ANKLE!

MS. SWINGER.

I'M SORRY,
MS. SWINGER.

DID IT BREAK?

WHAT A BREAK!
WHAT A BREAK.

I STILL DON'T UNDERSTAND
HOW IT HAPPENED.

WHO CARES?
GAYE SWINGER BREAKS A LEG,

LIBB GETS HER BIG CHANCE
AT SHOW BUSINESS, I THINK.

DA DA DA,
DA DA DA DA DA DA

PLEASE, MS. CARUSO,
STAND STILL.

DA DA DA,
DA DA DA DA DA DA

HOLD IT,
HOLD IT.

JUST A MOMENT.
I'M SO CONFUSED.

HOW ARE YOU DOING, HUN?

OH, ALL THESE MOVES.

IF I COULD JUST TRY IT ONCE,

ON STAGE WITH THE PROPS,
THE DANCERS, THE SET.

LIBB, WE JUST DON'T HAVE
THE TIME.

IF THERE'D BEEN THE TIME,
WE'D HAVE GOTTEN DIANA SHAWL.

AND I WOULDN'T HAVE TO SHORTEN
THIS HEM.

THANKS A LOT.

LIBB,
YOU'VE GOT TO DO IT.

I DON'T KNOW HOW ELSE
I COULD GET YOU

ON A BIG SPECIAL LIKE THIS,
WITH DANNY THOMAS.

PAUL CAN'T MISS SEEING ME,
CAN HE?

HE'LL SEE IT IF I HAVE TO GLUE
HIM TO THE SET.

THE MOST MISERABLE DAY
OF MY LIFE,

AND YOU WANT ME TO WATCH A
TELEVISION SHOW.

NOBODY'S INTERESTED
IN YOUR MISERY.

WELL, YOU WILL BE.
EVERYBODY WILL BE,

UNLESS I CAN MAKE IT UP TO HER
SOMEHOW.

MAKE IT UP TO WHO?

DON'T EVEN ASK.

ASK?
I COULDN'T CARE LESS.

HEY, JAN,
I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU,

I CAN'T STAND A SMART ALECK
BROAD.

YOU DID, AND IT WORRIES ME
SOMETHING AWFUL.

THE ONLY IMPORTANT THING TONIGHT
IS LIBB.

WHO?

WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO START
REMEMBERING HER NAME, SAM?

WHOSE NAME,
GERTRUDE?

YOU MAKE ME SO MAD.

DID ANYBODY EVER TELL YOU
THAT WHEN YOU GET ANGRY,

YOU LOOK PRETTY AWFUL?

SHUT UP AND WATCH LIBB.

THAT'S THE SURPRISE.

SHE'S REPLACING GAYE SWINGER ON
THE BIG SHOW

DANNY THOMAS IS DOING TONIGHT.

LIBB...

IS REPLACING...

GAYE SWINGER.
YEAH, SHE BROKE HER LEG,

OR SPRAINED HER ANKLE,
OR SOMETHING. I DON'T KNOW.

GAYE SWINGER?

YEAH.

OKAY,
THANK YOU. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

YOU'RE A WONDERFUL AUDIENCE,
AND I'VE GOT

A LITTLE SURPRISE FOR YOU.

A YOUNG LADY THAT'S REALLY
DOING US

A FAVOR TONIGHT
AND FILLING IN.

I HADN'T MET HER BEFORE TONIGHT,
AND TO BE HONEST WITH YOU,

I HAVE NEVER HEARD HER SING.

BUT MY PAL JOHNNY CARSON
TELLS ME SHE'S GREAT,

AND THAT'S CERTAINLY GOOD ENOUGH
FOR ME.

HOW ABOUT A NICE, WARM WELCOME
FOR YOUNG MS. LIBBY CARUSO.

BE MY LOVE

FOR NO ONE ELSE CAN HEAL
THIS YEARNING

THIS NEED THAT YOU

AND YOU ALONE CREATE

JUST FILL MY ARMS

THE WAY YOU FILL MY DREAMS

THE DREAMS THAT YOU INSPIRE

WITH EVERY SWEET DESIRE

BE MY LOVE

AND WITH YOUR KISSES

SEND ME BURNING

ONE KISS IS ALL I NEED
TO SEAL MY FATE

AND HAND-IN-HAND

WE'LL FIND
LOVE'S PROMISED LAND

THERE'LL BE NO ONE
BUT YOU FOR ME

ETERNALLY

IF YOU WILL BE
MY LOVE

BE MY LOVE

FOR NO ONE ELSE CAN HEAL
THIS YEARNING

BURNING WITH A FIRE,
LOVELY FIRE

ONE SPARK
CAN AWAKEN

OH, PLEASE TAKE ME

TAKE ME, TAKE ME

HAND-IN-HAND

WE'LL FIND LOVE'S
PROMISED LAND

THERE'LL BE NO ONE BUT YOU
FOR ME

ETERNALLY

IF YOU WILL BE

MY LOVE, LOVE

HELP!
SOMEBODY, HELP!

HEY, HEY!
NO!

PLEASE!
SOMEBODY, LET ME DOWN!

OH! PLEASE!

WAIT A MINUTE!
WAIT A MINUTE!

WAIT A MINUTE!
I DON'T MIND A FIGHT.

I DON'T MIND A STRUGGLE.

I DON'T EVEN MIND A KNOCKDOWN
DRAG-OUT BATTLE,

BUT A WAR?

THAT WAS A VERY NICE THING
YOU JUST DID.

OH, BOY.

WELL, SUPPOSE YOU JUST SING NOW,
HUH?

MR. THOMAS, YOU MEAN
WE'RE STILL ON THE AIR?

HONEY, I THINK WE JUST PICKED UP
THE BIGGEST AUDIENCE

IN THE HISTORY OF TELEVISION.

COME OVER HERE,
AND SIT DOWN.

SIT DOWN RIGHT HERE,
AND SING A SONG FOR EVERYBODY,

BECAUSE I KNOW YOU GOT
A REAL NICE VOICE.

NOW, WHAT'S
YOUR FAVORITE SONG?

THAT'S A NICE SONG.

IF MY SPONSOR IS WATCHING,
THIS IS ONLY A REHEARSAL.

OH, BOY.

WALLY, A LITTLE SOMETHING
IN A FLAT, HUH?

YOUR EYES ARE BLUE

YOUR KISSES TOO

I NEVER KNEW
WHAT THEY COULD DO

I CAN'T BELIEVE
THAT YOU'RE IN LOVE WITH...

WIPE THE TEARDROP
FROM YOUR EYE.

IF YOU HAD A NOSE LIKE MINE,
THEN YOU CRY.

YOU'RE TELLING EVERYONE I KNOW
I'M ON YOUR MIND

EACH PLACE YOU GO

THEY CAN'T BELIEVE
THAT YOU'RE IN LOVE WITH ME

YOU KNOW THIS SONG?

COME ON,
SING IT WITH ME.

I HAVE ALWAYS
PLACED YOU...

FAR ABOVE ME

I JUST CAN'T IMAGINE...

THAT YOU REALLY LOVE ME

AND AFTER ALL
IS SAID AND DONE

TO THINK THAT I'M
THE LUCKY ONE

I CAN'T BELIEVE
THAT YOU'RE IN LOVE

WITH ME

IF I WAS SINGLE
AND FANCY FREE,

YOU'D BE THE ONLY GIRL
FOR ME.

I HAVE ALWAYS PLACED YOU

SO VERY FAR
ABOVE ME

HEY, THAT'S GOOD.

I JUST CAN'T IMAGINE

THAT YOU LOVE ME

CAN YOU SING HARMONY?

I'LL TRY.

COME ON,
LET'S GIVE IT A GO!

SO AFTER ALL
IS SAID AND DONE

TO THINK THAT I'M
THE LUCKY ONE

I CAN'T BELIEVE
THAT YOU'RE IN LOVE

I CAN'T BELIEVE
THAT YOU'RE IN LOVE

I CAN'T BELIEVE
THAT YOU'RE IN LOVE

WITH ME

MILTON,
DOLL FACE,

WHAT DO YOU THINK, YOU'RE
THE ONLY ONE THAT WANTS HER?

I'VE GOT MORE OFFERS FOR THE KID
NOW THAN I CAN HANDLE.

I'M SORRY, PAL, YOU'RE GOING TO
HAVE TO STAND IN LINE.

NOW, THAT'S THE KIND OF THING
THAT MAKES

AN AGENT'S LIFE WORTHWHILE.

LISTEN,
YOU THINK YOU'VE BEEN BUSY?

YOU THINK YOU'VE BEEN ON
A MERRY GO-ROUND

THE LAST COUPLE OF WEEKS?
THAT'S NOTHING.

WAIT TILL YOU SEE WHAT I GOT
LINED UP.

WELL, THAT'S WHAT I CAME TO SEE
YOU ABOUT, TIGER.

PLAYING ALL THE DATES,
THE TV SHOWS, THE NIGHTCLUBS,

EVERYTHING.
IT'S BEEN WONDERFUL, A DREAM.

BUT IT'S BEGINNING
TO GET A LITTLE OUT OF HAND.

I'M GOING TO HAVE TO
CALL A HALT.

CALL A HALT?

-WHY?
-WHY?

BECAUSE IT'S INTERFERING WITH
MY JOB AT THE BROKERAGE,

THAT'S WHY.

OH, THAT EXPLAINS A LOT.

SO I GAVE UP MY JOB
AT THE SWITCHBOARD,

BUT I INSISTED ON TWO-WEEKS
NOTICE.

YOU MEAN THE BROKERAGE DID?

I DID. THEY DIDN'T WANT ANY
NOTICE AT ALL.

I STILL THINK MR. FRONT SHOULD
BE GIVING THIS PARTY

IN YOUR HONOR,
NOT GAYE SWINGER.

YEAH, YOU'D THINK SHE INVENTED
THE LADY VALET.

WELL, SHE'S ENDORSING IT,
WHICH IS MUCH MORE IMPORTANT.

DOES THIS STRIKE ANYBODY ELSE
AS AN ODD COINCIDENCE?

GAYE SWINGER,
OF ALL PEOPLE.

IT CERTAINLY DOES.

DID PAUL EVER EXPLAIN
HOW HE CONNECTED WITH HER?

I FIGURED MAYBE
SEEING ME ON THE SHOW

REPLACING HER IS WHAT
GAVE HIM THE IDEA.

ANYWAY, I HAVEN'T SEEN HIM
TO ASK.

HE'S BEEN SO BUSY.

WELL,
GIVE THE MAN CREDIT.

IF ALL I HEAR AND READ
ABOUT GAYE SWINGER IS TRUE,

HE'S CERTAINLY FOUND A WOMAN
WHO DOES THINGS.

OH, THE INVENTION,
OF COURSE.

HOW COULD I FORGET?

ISN'T THAT WHAT BOUGHT US
TOGETHER?

YEAH, WELL THAT'S WHAT
I'VE BEEN TRYING TO EXPLAIN.

THAT WAS WHAT BOUGHT US
TOGETHER, NOW WASN'T IT?

THAT AND THIS CUTE,
FUNNY, LITTLE MISHAP?

YEAH.

EXCEPT THERE ARE

A COUPLE OF THINGS I THINK
I OUGHT TO EXPLAIN TO YOU,

BEFORE WE GET TO THE PARTY.

NOW, IF YOU'D ONLY LISTEN.

YOU SEE, I HAVE THIS GIRL...

WON'T LISTEN?
I'M ALL EARS, POOPSY.

ALL EARS!

WELL, I HAVE THIS GIRLFRIEND--

LA DA DA DA DA
LA DA DA DA DA

LA DA DA DA DA LA DA DA

OH, PLEASE, DEAR.

COME ON,
REALLY SING FOR US.

NO, THIS IS GAYE SWINGER'S
NIGHT.

BOY, THIS KIND OF LIFE IS
STARTING TO GET ME, I TELL YOU.

THANKS.

TOO MUCH BASS PLAYING.

A LITTLE TOO MUCH HOP-KNOBBING
WITH THE ELITE.

YOU'RE DOING MUCH BETTER AT
PLAYING FOR LIBB

THAN YOU EVER DID HAULING
GROCERIES AROUND,

-AREN'T YOU?
-YEAH.

LET'S SAY
I DON'T LIKE THE HOURS.

WHAT DIFFERENCE
DO THE HOURS MAKE?

SLEEP DURING THE DAY.

UNFORTUNATELY, I ALSO SLEEP
DURING CLASS.

CLASS?

UCLA.

WHY, CUZ, YOU NEVER SAID
ANYTHING ABOUT GOING TO COLLEGE.

WELL, YOU NEVER ASKED.
ANYWAY, I'M VERY DEEP.

HAVEN'T YOU NOTICED?

YES, I'VE NOTICED.

I WISH I COULD SAY THE SAME
THING ABOUT YOUR GIRLFRIEND

OVER THERE.

PERSONALLY,

I'D JUMP OVER 18 PAUL DAVISES
FOR ONE OF YOU.

-YOU WOULD?
-YEAH, SURE.

IF I WERE LIBB,
I WOULD.

YOU DON'T DIG PAUL?

NO. WELL, I'LL ADMIT,
HE IS SLIGHTLY ATTRACTIVE,

IF YOU HAPPEN TO GO FOR THAT
TYPE, WHICH I DON'T.

AND HE DOES HAVE
A CERTAIN CHARM,

IF YOU HAPPEN NOT
TO SEE THROUGH IT,

WHICH I DO.
SO HE'S TALL.

SINCE WHEN DOES A FELLA BEING
TALL MEAN...

WHAT?
WHAT? WHAT? WHAT?

WELCOME TO THE CLUB, SWEETIE.

AW, NO.
YOU'RE WRONG.

YOU'RE ALL WRONG.
OH, YOU'RE WAY OFF BASE.

NO SIREE, BUD.
TAKE IT FROM ME,

YOU ARE ALL WRONG.

SORRY.
YEAH, MY MISTAKE.

WELL, WELL, THIS IS WHAT
I CONSIDER

A MOMENT WORTH WAITING FOR.

COME IN,
COME IN.

MS. SWINGER,
I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW,

I DEEM IT A GREAT PERSONAL
PRIVILEGE TO HAVE YOU HERE.

OH, THANKS, SWEETIE.
YOU'RE SWEET.

ISN'T HE SWEET?
WHO IS HE AND WHERE ARE WE?

OH, MS. SWINGER,
I AM THRILLED.

WHAT'S THIS,
THE CHILDREN'S HOUR?

NO, THIS IS ONE OF
THE LITTLE DETAILS...

MS. CARUSO IS THE CLEVER
YOUNG WOMAN

WHO INVENTED THE LADY VALET.

GOODY TWO SHOES FOR YOU.
NOW,

WHO DO YOU HAVE TO KNOW
TO GET A BELT AROUND HERE?

A BELT?

A BELT.
A BOOZE.

OH, THERE'S A WHOLE GANG OF
BOOZE, RIGHT OVER HERE.

INVENTED WHAT?

THE LADY VALET.

OH, THE WHO'S I'M SUPPOSED TO
WHAT-YOU-MA-CALL-IT?

YEAH, YOU SEE...

HEY, YOU DIDN'T TELL ME A GIRL
INVENTED IT.

WELL, THAT'S ONE OF THE LITTLE
DETAILS I WANTED TO...

WELL, WHAT DID SAY
YOUR NAME WAS AGAIN, HUN?

CARUSO.

CARUSO. ISN'T THERE A SINGER BY
THAT NAME?

YES, BUT HE'S BEEN DEAD
FOR A LONG TIME NOW.

WHAT WAS HIS FIRST NAME AGAIN?

ENRICO, ITALIAN FELLA.
HAD A BEAUTIFUL VOICE.

YEAH, NEVER MIND HIS FIRST NAME.

WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST NAME AGAIN?

-LIBBY.
-LIBBY CARUSO.

HAVEN'T I SEEN YOU SOMEWHERE
BEFORE?

I DON'T KNOW,
BUT I'VE SEEN YOU.

MS. SWINGER, I HAVE WATCHED YOU
ON TELEVISION,

AND IN THE MOVIES,
EVER SINCE I WAS A TINY--

-HOLD IT.
-BEAUTIFUL.

I DON'T WANT TO START
HITTING ANYBODY YET.

YOU REPLACED ME ON THE DANNY
THOMAS SHOW, TRUE?

-TRUE, BUT THAT WAS--
-YOU'VE ALSO BEEN A SMASH HIT

-EVER SINCE. ALSO TRUE?
-I WOULDN'T SAY THAT.

AND YOU INVENTED THIS GIMMICK
THAT I'M SUPPOSED

TO PUT MY NAME ON?

WELL, YES,
BUT THAT WAS--

OKAY.
ONE LAST QUESTION.

WHO'S SPREADING THE WORD AROUND
THAT I'M STUPID?

-OH, MS. SWINGER.
-YOU'RE BRILLIANT.

I SHOULDN'T
ENDORSE ANYTHING FOR HER,

WHEN SHE'S PROBABLY GOING TO
KNOCK ME OUT OF THE BOX.

OH, YOU CAN BE FUNNIER THAN
THAT, SONNY BOY.

OH, LOOK,
MS. SONNY BOY,

MS. SWINGER, SHE'S NOT GOING TO
KNOCK YOU OUT OF THE BOX.

SHE'S NOBODY.
SHE'S A FLUKE.

SHE'S A LITTLE KID.
THE DANNY THOMAS SHOW

WAS STRICTLY A ONE-SHOT DEAL,
AN ACCIDENT.

YEAH? WELL GET YOUR ACCIDENT
TO ENDORSE HER OWN PRODUCTS,

BUDDY BOY.

INCIDENTALLY, JUNIOR,
I'M SUING YOU FOR MINE.

MS. SWINGER,

I'D BE VERY HAPPY TO TAKE CARE
OF ALL

THE MEDICAL...

HONEST TO GOD,
LIBBY,

YOU MAKE ME SO...

WHO'S A FLUKE?

WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH HER?

WHO'S A NOBODY?
A ONE-SHOT?

A...

-A LITTLE KID.
-A LITTLE--

DID HE CALL ME
A LITTLE KID?

WELL, THAT SHOWS JUST HOW MUCH
YOU KNOW, SONNY BOY.

I AM NOT A LITTLE KID,
BUT I'LL TELL YOU WHAT I AM.

I'M AN IDIOT,
THAT'S WHAT I AM.

A DUM-DUM,
A YO-YO.

AS A MATTER OF FACT,

I AM UNDOUBTEDLY
THE BIGGEST YO-YO OF ALL TIMES.

STEP ASIDE,
JUNIOR.

WHAT WAS THAT ALL ABOUT?

SHE'S WRONG. SHE ISN'T
THE BIGGEST YO-YO OF ALL TIME.

YOU ARE.

CAN I HAVE A FEW THOUSAND WORDS
WITH YOU?

I DON'T THINK WE MEAN THE SAME
THING WHEN WE SAY PROSPER.

GO AHEAD, SWEETIE,
CRY YOUR EYES OUT.

-YOU'RE ENTITLED.
-I'M ALL RIGHT.

POOR KID.

SOME DAY YOU'LL REALIZE
THAT YOU ONLY THOUGHT

YOU WERE IN LOVE
WITH THAT BIG GALLOOT.

YOU KNOW WHY?

BECAUSE HE DIDN'T GIVE YOU
A TUMBLE, THAT'S WHY.

THE OLD HARD-TO-GET ROUTINE
GETS THEM EVERY TIME.

NOBODY WANTS ANYTHING UNLESS
THEY THINK THEY CAN'T HAVE IT.

WE'RE ALL THE SAME.

IF IT ISN'T
HARD TO GET,

AGAINST THE LAW,
OR FATTENING,

WE'RE NOT INTERESTED.

-JAN?
-WHAT?

YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY TOTALLY RIGHT.

-I AM?
-CERTAINLY.

ALL ALONG I'VE BEEN USING
THE WRONG APPROACH.

WRONG APPROACH?

OH MY DEAR CHILD.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT THIS
IS ALL ABOUT,

BUT WHATEVER IT IS,
TAKE MY ADVICE,

AND STAY OUT OF IT.

-REALLY?
-REALLY.

WITH AN ANGEL VOICE LIKE HERS,
ALL SHE EVER

HAS TO DO IN LIFE IS SING.

SING?

SING WHEN YOU'RE HAPPY.
SING WHEN YOU'RE SAD.

OH MY DEAR,
EVERYBODY'S DYING TO HEAR YOU.

PLEASE, SHE'S UPSET.
SHE CAN'T SING.

WHO CAN'T SING?

I'VE NEVER FELT MORE LIKE
SINGING IN MY LIFE.

YOU KNOW SOMETHING?
SHE'S RIGHT.

ALL ALONG, WE'VE BOTH BEEN USING
THE WRONG APPROACH.

I'VE GOT FORTUNE,
I'VE GOT FAME

EVERYBODY IN THE WORLD
KNOWS MY NAME

YEAH, YEAH,
UH-HUH

BUT I'M JUST
LOOKING FOR LOVE

I'VE GOT DIAMONDS,
I'VE GOT PEARLS

I'M THE ENVY
OF THE TEENAGE GIRLS

YEAH, YEAH,
UH-HUH

BUT I'M JUST
LOOKING FOR LOVE

I DRIVE AROUND
IN CONVERTIBLE CARS

GO TO WILD PARTIES
WITH THE MOVIE STARS

I GET TO WEAR
FABULOUS FURS

BUT I DON'T HAVE TOWELS
MARKED HIS AND HERS

I'LL BE LUCKY
AS A GIRL CAN BE

WHEN THAT SAID MAN
COMES LOOKING FOR ME

YEAH, YEAH,
UH-HUH

I'M JUST
LOOKING FOR LOVE

OH YEAH,
I'M JUST LOOKING FOR LOVE

YEAH, YEAH,
I'M JUST LOOKING FOR...

I DRIVE AROUND
IN CONVERTIBLE CARS

I GO TO WILD PARTIES
WITH THE MOVIE STARS

I GET TO WEAR
FABULOUS FURS

BUT I DON'T HAVE TOWELS
MARKED HIS AND HERS

WHO NEEDS ALL OF THIS
WEALTH UNTOLD

ALL I NEED IS A LITTLE
BAND OF GOLD

YEAH, YEAH,
UH-HUH

BIG BOY,
I'M JUST LOOKING FOR...

BIG BOY, I KNOW
WHAT'S COOKING FOR

BIG BOY...

NOW, WHAT MAKES HER THINK
SHE'S A YO-YO?

I'M LOOKING FOR

LOVE

WHAT DO YOU MEAN
MS. CARUSO ISN'T AVAILABLE?

WHAT DO YOU THINK
OF THIS BIT?

AND WHO IS THIS ANYWAY?
HER ANSWERING SERVICE?

WHY DON'T I WHAT?

WHY DON'T I SEND HER A WIRE, OR
WRITE HER A LETTER OR SOMETHING?

SAY, THAT'S AN EXCELLENT
SUGGESTION,

YEAH.
NOW I'VE GOT ONE FOR YOU.

AND I GOT ONE FOR YOU, BOY.
WHY DON'T YOU COOL IT?

ALL RIGHT,
SO YOUR GIRL WON'T TALK TO YOU.

WHAT YOU SHOULD DO...

I KEEP TELLING YOU,
SHE IS NOT MY GIRL.

IN THE FIRST PLACE,
SHE IS TOO SHORT.

WAY TOO SHORT.
AND IN THE SECOND PLACE,

SHE'S GOT A CASE ON ME,
AND I'M JUST TRYING

TO HELP HER GET OVER IT,
THAT'S ALL.

GET OVER IT? WELL, ACCORDING TO
THE GOSSIP COLUMNS--

WHAT, YOU BELIEVE THAT?
THAT PUBLICITY?

OH, LOOK,
MR. FRONT,

NO GIRL COULD BE OUT THAT MANY
TIMES WITH THAT MANY GUYS.

AND EVEN IF SHE WERE TALLER,
WHICH SHE ISN'T.

SHE'S TOO SHORT,
LIKE I KEEP TELLING YOU.

AND I KEEP HEARING YOU.
WAY TOO SHORT.

MAYBE SHE'S AT THE
PHOTOGRAPHER'S.

WASN'T SHE GOING TO POSE FOR THE
ADS FOR THE LADY VALET TODAY?

YEAH, EITHER THAT,
OR DO HER SCREEN TEST.

SCREEN TEST?

YES.

SHE'S GOING TO BE
A MOVIE STAR?

WHY NOT?

LOOK, MR. FRONT,

I THOUGHT WE WERE STRETCHING IT,
JUST A BIT,

WHEN WE LET THE KID
ENDORSE HER OWN PRODUCT.

SO THEN SHE CUTS A RECORD.

SO THEN SHE DOES A COUPLE OF
TELEVISION SHOWS...

SO THEY WANT THE KID
IN LAS VEGAS.

SO THE KID IS GETTING OFFERS
FROM EVERYBODY.

SO I CAN'T THINK OF ANYBODY
BETTER TO ENDORSE

THE LADY VALET
THAN THE KID.

RIGHT. ALL RIGHT,
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, SIR.

YES, I WENT ALONG WITH IT,
DIDN'T I?

HELLO,
IS MS. CARUSO THERE, PLEASE?

PAUL DAVIS,
WHO'S THIS?

HER WHAT?
HER SECRETARY?

THERE ARE NO STRAIGHT MEN LEFT.
EVERYBODY'S A COMEDIAN.

HE SAYS EVERYBODY'S A COMEDIAN.

DID YOU WISH TO MAKE
AN APPOINTMENT?

ALL RIGHT, JAN,
QUIT HORSING AROUND.

OH, I DON'T SEE HOW SHE'LL HAVE
THE TIME TO TALK TO YOU TODAY.

PERHAPS WE COULD
SQUEEZE IN YOUR CALL TOMORROW.

OH YEAH,
WELL YOU CAN TELL HER FOR ME...

YOU WATCH YOUR LANGUAGE,
BUSTER.

WHAT DID HE SAY?

NOT IN FRONT OF TIGER.

NOW LOOK KIDS, FUN IS FUN,
BUT LET'S STOP KIDDING AROUND.

WE GOT DEALS TO MAKE.

AND I CAN'T HOLD EVERYBODY OFF
INDEFINITELY.

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO,
LIBB?

I DON'T KNOW,
TIGER.

I CAN'T MAKE UP MY MIND UNTIL
I HAVE THINGS SETTLED WITH PAUL.

WELL, DO YOU WANT ME
TO SIGN THE CONTRACTS,

AND THEN RUN OFF AND GET
MARRIED,

AND QUIT?

CHIN, SWEETIE,
THE CHIN.

WHAT'S WRONG WITH GETTING
MARRIED AND HAVING YOUR CAREER?

YOU CAN'T HAVE BOTH.

SURE YOU CAN.

LONG AS YOU REMEMBER
WHICH IS MORE IMPORTANT.

THAT'S RIGHT.

AS LONG AS YOU NEVER LET YOUR
MARRIAGE

INTERFERE WITH YOUR CAREER,

YOU'VE GOT IT MADE.
I SAID IT WRONG.

BLESS YOUR HEART.

OKAY.
I DON'T LIKE TO DO THIS, LIBB,

BUT I'M GOING
TO HAVE TO GET TOUGH.

NOW, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO
MAKE A DECISION

RIGHT HERE AND NOW.

ARE YOU GOING TO MAKE
THE SCREEN TEST?

I TOLD YOU,
I'D DO THAT WEDNESDAY.

SCREEN TEST FOR GEORGE HAMILTON,
LIBBY CARUSO.

SPEED.

ALL RIGHT,
ACTION.

COME IN.

DOCTOR PARKS?

COME IN,
MS. FRANKLIN.

I'M LEAVING THE HOSPITAL TODAY.

YES, I...
I KNOW.

I WISH I KNEW
HOW TO THANK YOU,

BUT I SIMPLY DON'T KNOW HOW
TO PUT MY GRATITUDE INTO WORDS.

WOULD YOU MIND?

WOULD IT BE ALL RIGHT
IF I KISSED YOU GOODBYE?

OF COURSE.

ALL RIGHT,
CUT.

THAT'S VERY GOOD.

THANK YOU.

THIS TIME, A LITTLE MORE
HESITATION

ON "GRATITUDE," MS. CARUSO.

I SIMPLY DON'T KNOW HOW TO PUT
MY GRATITUDE INTO WORDS.

THAT'S FINE. NOW THIS TIME,
KISS HIM.

-KISS HIM?
-YES.

-I DID.
-YOU KISSED HIM ON THE CHEEK.

I MEAN REALLY KISS HIM.

YOU CAN MOVE IN A LITTLE,
GEORGE.

-OKAY.
-YOU MEAN KISS HIM FOR REAL?

-YES.
-GEORGE HAMILTON, ON THE LIPS?

BUT YOU'RE SECRETLY IN LOVE
WITH HIM, HONEY.

YOU MAY NEVER SEE HIM AGAIN.

BUT ACTUALLY,
WE ONLY JUST MET.

-WHO?
-MR. HAMILTON AND I.

WHAT'S THAT GOT TO DO WITH THIS?

WELL, YOU JUST DON'T
GO AROUND KISSING

SOMEBODY YOU HARDLY KNOW,

ESPECIALLY IN FRONT OF
A LOT OF STRANGERS.

I HOPE YOU UNDERSTAND.
I MEAN, I'D LOVE TO KISS YOU,

ANY GIRL WOULD.

IF SHE COULD GET YOU ALONE.
BUT EVEN THEN,

A KISS ON THE LIPS IS SOMETHING
YOU HAVE TO WORK UP TO,

AT LEAST I DO.

SINCE MR. HAMILTON
HAS BEEN SO KIND

AS TO TAKE TIME OFF FROM A VERY
BUSY SCHEDULE,

TO HELP YOU WITH THIS TEST,
DO YOU THINK YOU MIGHT TRY

TO WORK UP TO IT?

WELL, WHEN YOU PUT IT THAT
WAY...

LOOK, I'LL DO WHAT I CAN
TO HELP YOU.

THANK YOU.

ALL RIGHT,
LET'S TRY IT AGAIN.

WHERE DO THEY GET THESE
SCREWY DAMES?

WHAT'S SCREWY? TO HER, A KISS IS
SOMETHING SPECIAL.

READY, GEORGE?

AS FAR AS I KNOW.

READY, MS. CARUSO?

READY.

23 ACT, TAKE TWO.

ROLL THEM.
ACTION.

COME IN.

DOCTOR PARKS?

OH, COME IN,
MS. FRANKLIN.

I'M LEAVING THE HOSPITAL TODAY.

YES, I...
I KNOW.

I WISH I KNEW
HOW TO THANK YOU,

BUT I SIMPLY DON'T KNOW
HOW TO PUT MY...

GRATITUDE INTO WORDS.
WOULD IT BE ALL RIGHT?

WOULD YOU MIND IF I, UM...

IF KISSED YOU GOODBYE?

OF COURSE.

YOU KNOW, SHE'S NOT AS SHORT
AS I THOUGHT SHE WAS.

CUT!
CUT! CUT!

THANK YOU, MR. HAMILTON.

YOU CERTAINLY GOT OVER YOUR
SHYNESS IN A HURRY.

WELL, THAT WAS
BECAUSE OF HIM,

AND THE FACT THAT MY FIRST
CHOICE, MY DREAM MAN,

HAS ALWAYS BEEN A DOCTOR.

HEY THERE, LIBB.
HEY LIBB!

EXCUSE ME.
I KNOW HER.

EXCUSE ME.
LIBB!

SAY, LIBB.
SAY, LIBBY!

I KNOW HER.

OH, PAUL.
HOW NICE TO SEE YOU.

WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN KEEPING
YOURSELF?

ME? I'VE BEEN TRYING
TO GET IN TOUCH WITH YOU.

I JUST SAW YOU DO
YOUR SCREEN TEST.

OH, THAT?
THAT WAS ONLY THE LONG SHOT.

THEY LIKE YOU TO HOLD BACK
TILL YOU DO THE CLOSE-UPS.

HOLD BACK?

LIBB, CAN WE TOGETHER
AND TALK OR SOMETHING?

WHAT DID YOU HAVE IN MIND?

WELL, A LOT OF THINGS.

LIKE ONE DAY YOU'RE MINDING
YOUR OWN BUSINESS,

AND ALL OF A SUDDEN COMES ALONG
THIS LITTLE HALF-PINT,

WHO LOOKS LIKE SHE SHOULD BE
PLAYING IN A SANDBOX

OR SOMETHING,
AND THEN...

-AND THEN...
-AND THEN?

AND THEN YOU
TAKE ANOTHER LOOK,

AND EVERYTHING'S CHANGED.

AND YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'VE
GOT GOING ON IN YOUR MIND.

OH, THAT'S AWKWARD.
DOES THAT MAKE ANY SENSE TO YOU?

FINALLY.

WELL THEN,
WHEN CAN I SEE YOU? TONIGHT?

WELL, I LEAVE FOR LAS VEGAS
DAY AFTER TOMORROW,

SO I GUESS IT'LL HAVE TO BE
TONIGHT.

IS EIGHT O'CLOCK ALL RIGHT?

OH, DON'T FORGET,
PICK ME UP AT THE NEW HOUSE.

YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE NEW HOUSE
YET, HAVE YOU?

WHAT?
LAS VEGAS? LEAVE? FOR HOW LONG?

OH, ONLY EIGHT WEEKS.
CAN'T BE ANY LONGER,

BECAUSE THEN I HAVE TO LEAVE
ON MY TOUR.

TOUR?

I'M GOING TO TIE IN
PERSONAL APPEARANCES

WITH THE LADY VALET.

I DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS SET YET.

I SIGN THE CONTRACTS TOMORROW.

AND I DON'T HAVE TO DECIDE ABOUT
EUROPE UNTIL LATER.

EUROPE?

IF THEY LIKE MY SCREEN TEST,
I'M GOING TO BE MAKING

A MOVIE IN EUROPE, AND JAN SAYS
WE'LL MEET ALL KINDS

OF INTERESTING PEOPLE.

YEAH.
OH, JAN'S GOING TOO?

FOR HOW LONG?

AT LAST COUNT,
NOT MORE THAN TWO YEARS.

EIGHT O'CLOCK THEN?

EIGHT.
TWO YEARS?

ISN'T THAT A LONG TIME?

YOU'RE GOING TOO?

OH, JAN, WHICH ONE?

THE WRONG DRESS
COULD RUIN EVERYTHING.

MIND IF I ASK A QUESTION?

HOW COME, IF YOU'RE MEANT
FOR EACH OTHER,

IT TAKES MORE PLANNING,
RESEARCH AND MANEUVERING

THAN IT DOES TO GET
A MAN ON THE MOON?

LACK OF TIME.

TIGER HAS TO HAVE AN ANSWER
FOR EVERYBODY TOMORROW,

SO I HAVE TO GET PAUL
TO PROPOSE TONIGHT.

-TONIGHT?
-RIGHT.

AND IT'LL BE A NEAT TRICK,
ON ACCOUNT OF

HE HASN'T
GOT THE FAINTEST IDEA

THAT HE WANTS TO GET MARRIED.

WELL, I'M SURE YOU'LL GET THE
IDEA ACROSS.

YOU AND THE BELLS, ONLY...

ONLY WHAT?

WELL, I THINK SOMEBODY SHOULD BE
KNOCKING HIS BRAINS OUT

TO WIN YOU.

WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE
WHO WINS WHO?

CUZ IS THE ONLY MAN
I'LL EVER LOVE.

CUZ?
WHAT'D YOU JUST SAY?

I SAID 'CAUSE PAUL'S
THE ONLY MAN I'LL EVER LOVE.

WHAT DID YOU THINK
I SAID?

I THOUGHT YOU SAID CUZ.

'CAUSE.

BY THE WAY,
HAS ANYBODY HEARD FROM HIM?

WHO?

CUZ?

I TALKED WITH HIM TODAY.

OH?
WELL, GIVE HIM MY REGARDS,

NEXT TIME YOU TALK TO HIM.

OKAY.

WHEN DO YOU THINK THAT'LL BE?

ABOUT HALF AN HOUR.

YOU MEAN YOUR DATE'S WITH HIM?

MY DATE'S WITH HIM.

COME ON, THERE'S PAUL,
AND HE'S TWO MINUTES EARLY.

THAT'S A GOOD SIGN,
ISN'T IT?

YOU'RE NOT EVEN READY.
WHAT KIND OF SIGN IS THAT?

PART OF MY PLAN.
I'LL ONLY BE A MINUTE.

WILL YOU GO TO TALK TO HIM?
GO AHEAD.

HELLO?

HI.

-MY, DON'T YOU LOOK NICE.
-THANK YOU.

STILL USING THAT
GREASY KID STUFF?

I'M SUPPOSED TO ENTERTAIN YOU
WHILE YOU WAIT.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE?
CARD TRICKS? FUNNY SAYINGS?

OR SHALL I RECITE A POEM?

NO, YOUR DOUBLE TALK
IS ENTERTAINING ENOUGH.

WHAT DOUBLE TALK?

LIKE THE WAY YOU SAY HELLO.

NOW, THAT CAN MEAN ANYTHING FROM
"HI, HOW ARE YOU,"

TO "PARDON ME, WHILE I STICK
A SHIV IN YOUR BACK."

OH, I SEE, YOU'RE GOING TO DO
THE FUNNY SAYINGS.

LET ME KNOW WHEN I'M
SUPPOSED TO LAUGH.

SURE YOU KNOW HOW?
ALL RIGHT, COME ON, JAN.

WHAT IS IT WITH YOU?
WHAT'S YOUR BEEF WITH ME?

I BEG YOUR PARDON.

I BEG YOUR PARDON.
I BEG YOUR PARDON.

GOT IT. THAT MEANS TOUCH MY BODY
AND I'LL SCREAM, RIGHT?

WHY, NO SUCH THING.

MEANS YOUR TOUCH SENDS SHIVERS
DOWN MY SPINE.

ONE LOOK AND I GROW FAINT.
MY KNEES ARE WEAK.

I KNOW IT'S HOPELESS,
BUT..

COME ON,
CUT THAT OUT!

WHY PAUL,
I'M SURPRISED.

AT WHAT?

YOU ARE STILL USING
THAT GREASY KID STUFF.

GREETINGS.

LIBB, YOU LOOK LOVELY.

THANK YOU, JAN.

YEAH.
WELL, SHALL WE GO?

YES.

NIGHT, JAN.

GOOD NIGHT.

OH, HAVE A GOOD TIME
WITH CUZ.

I WILL, THANKS.

JAN'S GOING OUT WITH CUZ.
ISN'T IT NICE?

DANDY.

SO GLAD YOU APPROVE.

I NOT ONLY APPROVE,
I GIVE YOU MY BLESSING.

CAN WE GO, JAN?

LIBB.

THAT'S WHAT I SAID,
LIBB.

"I GIVE YOU MY BLESSING."
OH, NO YOU DON'T.

YOU GIVE ME A BIG, FAT,
PAIN IN THE...

SOMEDAY

YOU WILL FIND ME

YOU'LL TAKE ME

AND MAKE ME
A PART OF YOU

LOVE OF MY DREAMS,

WHEREVER YOU ARE

WHEREVER YOU ARE,

I LOVE YOU

WAITING

I'VE BEEN WAITING
TO HOLD YOU

AND GIVE YOU

A LOVE THAT'S TRUE

OH, LOVE OF MY DREAMS,

WHEREVER YOU ARE

WHEREVER YOU ARE,

I LOVE YOU

WHEREVER YOU ARE,

COME FIND ME

AND TAKE ALL THE LOVE

I LONG TO GIVE

WHOEVER YOU ARE,

I LOVE YOU

AND I'LL LOVE YOU
AS LONG AS I LIVE

ONE DAY,
IF I'M LUCKY

YOU'LL SEE ME
AND KNOW ME

AND WANT ME TOO

OH, LOVE OF MY DREAMS,

WHEREVER YOU ARE

WHOEVER YOU ARE

I LOVE YOU

NOT HERE.

OF COURSE NOT.

OF COURSE NOT HERE.

WHERE?

HE'S SHALLOW,
VERY SHALLOW.

THAT'S PROBABLY WHY
I DON'T LIKE HIM.

YOU STILL DON'T LIKE HIM?

MORE THAN EVER.

WELL, LIBBY HAS
HER DRAWBACKS TOO.

AND I CERTAINLY
DON'T INTEND TO WASTE

MY VALUABLE TIME HIDING AWAY IN
BALTIMORE.

BALTIMORE.
WHAT'S PLAYING IN BALTIMORE?

JOHN HOPKINS MEDICAL SCHOOL.

MEDICAL SCHOOL?

YOU? YOU'RE GOING
TO BE A DOCTOR?

DID IT EVER OCCUR TO YOU
THAT LIBB MIGHT HAVE BEEN

VERY INTERESTED IN A MAN WHO'S
GOING TO BE A DOCTOR.

IT'S TOO LATE.

ANYHOW, YOU CAN'T FIGHT
THE BELLS.

BELLS?

WHEN THEY KISS,
BELLS ARE GOING TO RING.

THAT'S HOW THEY'LL KNOW IT'S
FOR REAL.

THEY'RE GOING TO HEAR BELLS.

OH, PAUL, IT'S BEEN SUCH
A WONDERFUL EVENING.

I WISH IT WEREN'T OVER.

OVER?
LISTEN, LIBB.

I HATE TO SAY GOOD NIGHT.

-GOOD NIGHT? LISTEN, LIBB--
-I MEAN, GOODBYE.

LISTEN, LIBB,
ANGEL.

PAUL, DO YOU THINK
WE SHOULD START

ANYTHING WE CAN'T FINISH?

I WANT TO FINISH!

BY ALL MEANS,
LET'S FINISH.

YOU MEAN, YOU WANT TO GET
MARRIED?

-YEAH, YEAH.
-OH, PAUL.

-MARRIED, ANYTHING.
-OH, WE'LL BE SO HAPPY.

YOU KNOW, THE FIRST THING I'LL
DO, I'LL GIVE UP MY CAREER.

-GREAT, WONDERFUL.
-OH, PAUL, PLEASE.

PLEASE, PAUL.

-PLEASE, PLEASE.
-PLEASE WHAT?

PLEASE KISS ME.

YEAH!

DO YOU HEAR ANYTHING?

NO, NO.

THAT'S STRANGE.
NEITHER DO I.

DO YOU MIND
IF WE TRY IT AGAIN?

MAYBE YOU'RE NOT HOLDING ME
RIGHT. HERE.

A LITTLE CLOSER, PLEASE.
NOW.

I WONDER IF I'M
TRYING TOO HARD.

LOOK,
DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.

I'M SURE THERE'S NOTHING AT ALL
TO WORRY ABOUT.

ANYWAY,
EVERYTHING ELSE IS SETTLED,

AND WE CAN WORK OUT
THE DETAILS TOMORROW.

DETAILS?

ABOUT GETTING MARRIED?

YEAH. YEAH, YEAH,
SURE, SURE.

JUST DON'T YOU WORRY.

GOOD NIGHT.

GOOD NIGHT.

MARRIED?

HI.

HI.

CONGRATULATIONS IN ORDER?

IT WORKED?
HE BOUGHT THE WHOLE ROUTINE?

PERFECTLY.

WELL, THAT'S WONDERFUL, HUN.
AS LONG AS THAT'S WHAT YOU WANT.

EXCEPT FOR ONE LITTLE, MINOR
THING.

NO BELLS.

NO BELLS?

THERE'S PROBABLY A THOUSAND
REASONS WHY I DIDN'T HEAR THEM.

I AM OVERTIRED. GOODNESS KNOWS
THE PAST FEW WEEKS

HAVE BEEN MURDER.

NO BELLS?

I COULD HAVE BEEN CONCENTRATING
TOO HARD.

OR MAYBE MY EARS ARE STUFFED.
DO YOU THINK JAN--

LIBBY, YOU KNOW,
PEOPLE DON'T REALLY HEAR BELLS.

SURE, I KNOW.

BUT AT LEAST I'D LIKE TO THINK
I'LL HEAR THEM.

-OH, JAN, I'M IN BIG TROUBLE.
-WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

WELL, I PROMISED TIGER
I'D SET ALL THE DEALS TOMORROW.

BUT HOW I CAN I SET THEM
IF I'M GOING TO GET MARRIED?

ON THE OTHER HAND,
I DON'T WANT TO CANCEL THEM

IF I'M NOT GOING TO GET MARRIED.

AND I AM NOT GOING
TO GET MARRIED

UNTIL I HEAR THOSE BELLS.

JAN,
WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?

WELL, HONEY, WHO KNOWS?
TOMORROW, YOU MAY NOT BE TIRED.

YOUR EARS MAY BE OKAY.
YOU KISS PAUL,

AND BELLS WILL RING
ALL OVER THE PLACE.

SOUNDS FINE,
EXCEPT WHERE?

HOW?
WHEN?

I CAN'T ASK HIM TO COME OVER
HERE FOR A KISS TEST.

A KISS TEST?

WELL, THAT'S JUST WHAT
IT AMOUNTS TO.

YEAH, IT DOES,
DOESN'T IT?

WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?

I'M THINKING HOW YOU COULD...
WAIT.

WHY NOT?

WHY NOT?

-I'M FOR IT!
-YOU SURE?

IT'S A BRILLIANT IDEA.
WHAT IS IT?

WHERE CAN YOU GO AND KISS TO
YOUR HEART'S CONTENT,

WITH NOBODY PAYING ATTENTION?

I DON'T KNOW,
BUT IT MUST BE HEAVEN.

A RAILROAD STATION
OR AN AIRPORT.

SO, YOU HAVE TO LEAVE FOR
SOMEWHERE UNEXPECTEDLY,

TOMORROW MORNING.

I'LL GET UP REAL EARLY,
AND I'LL CALL PAUL AND CUZ,

AND TELL THEM TO MEET US AT THE
AIRPORT, IN THE CLIPPER ROOM.

JAN, THAT'S NOT A BAD IDEA.

I HEARD YOU THE FIRST TIME.
IT'S BRILLIANT.

PAN AMERICAN AIRWAYS
JET CLIPPER.

FLIGHT 16 FOR GUATEMALA,
PANAMA, AND RIO DE JANEIRO,

IS NOW PREPARING FOR DEPARTURE
FROM GATE NUMBER 27.

WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?

SOMETHING TO STAND ON.

I KNEW I SHOULD HAVE BROUGHT
A SUITCASE

OR A LADDER OR SOMETHING.

-WHAT?
-FOR PAUL!

WELL, STAND ON YOUR TOES
AND LOOK UP.

I'VE TRIED THAT.

IT HURTS MY FEET,
AND IT GIVES ME A STIFF NECK.

SOMETIMES I WISH HE WEREN'T SO
GOSH DARN TALL.

WELL, I'LL GO SEE
IF I CAN FIND SOMETHING.

ALL SET?

BEAUTIFUL.
I THINK I OUTDID MYSELF.

WE GOT BELLS HERE
YOU NEVER EVEN HEARD OF.

NOT NOW,
FOR GOODNESS' SAKE.

YOU WANT TO BLOW THE WHOLE BIT?

MY ASSISTANTS,
SUSIE BELL AND MARY BELL.

-I'M FLO.
-AMY.

HI. NOW REMEMBER,
NOT UNTIL I GIVE THE CUE,

BUT WHEN I GIVE THE CUE,
LET'S HEAR IT.

RING THEM ALL,
RING THEM LIKE CRAZY.

ALL RIGHT NOW,
DRESS REHEARSAL.

POSITIONS, PLEASE.

COME ON, LIBB,
WE'LL MISS THE PLANE.

PERFECT.

NOW, ARE YOU SURE YOU'LL BE ABLE
TO HEAR ME ALL RIGHT?

SURE IS A SURPRISE ALL OF
A SUDDEN YOU'RE GOING AWAY,

TODAY.

WELL,
IT WAS A BIG SURPRISE TO ME TOO.

ANY QUESTIONS?

NOT A ONE.
NOW, DON'T FORGET,

COME ON, LIBB,
WE'LL MISS THE PLANE.

COME ON, LIBB,
WE'LL MISS THE PLANE.

PAN AMERICAN AIRWAYS
JET CLIPPER,

FLIGHT ONE,
DEPARTING FROM GATE NUMBER 23.

HI, FELLAS,
WELL THAT'S US.

WE BETTER GET STARTED.
SAY GOODBYE, HONEY.

WELL, THIS IS IT.

-THIS IS WHAT?
-GOOD BYE.

WOULD YOU PLEASE
BEND YOUR KNEES A LITTLE?

BEND MY WHAT?

AND SAY GOODBYE.

OH, OH YEAH.
GOODBYE ANGEL.

I'LL SEE YOU
WHEN YOU GET BACK.

OH, THAT'S FINE. THAT'S A GREAT
WAY TO SAY GOODBYE.

HEY, WOULD YOU BUTT OUT?

I TOLD YOU, I CAN'T STAND
A SMART ALECK BROAD.

-GOODBYE!
-NO, NO, NO, KISS HER.

WHAT?
KISS HER?

I DON'T KISS PEOPLE
IN PUBLIC PLACES.

SHE'S NOT PEOPLE AND THIS ISN'T
THAT PUBLIC. KISS HER.

WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM?

SHE WANTS YOU TO KISS ME,
PLEASE, PAUL!

IS EVERYBODY GOING
A LITTLE FRUITCAKE?

YEAH,
IT CERTAINLY LOOKS LIKE IT.

FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE,
WILL YOU COOPERATE?

PAN AMERICAN AIRWAYS,
FINAL CALL.

PAUL, PLEASE.
MY NECK'S BEGINNING TO HURT.

-PLEASE.
-OH, I HAVE SEEN

SOME DING-A-LINGS IN MY DAY,
BUT YOU TWO,

COME ON LIBB,
WE'LL MISS THE PLANE.

COME ON LIBB,
WE'LL MISS THE PLANE.

WHAT THE HELL
IS GOING ON?

OH, CUZ.
DID YOU HEAR THOSE BELLS?

LET'S NOT GET CARRIED AWAY,
BUSTER.

AND HOW TALL ARE YOU?
FIVE TEN AND A HALF.

PERFECT.

YOU DON'T KNOW
HOW PERFECT.

I'D LIKE YOU TO MEET THE FUTURE
DOCTOR CUZ RICKOVER.

A DOCTOR?
JUST WHAT I'VE ALWAYS WANTED!

ISN'T EVERYBODY ALL MIXED UP?

THANKS TO ME,
AND A FEW BELLS,

TRUE LOVE REIGNS SUPREME.

BELLS?

BELLS. WHEN THEY KISSED,
SHE HEARD BELLS.

THAT'S HOW SHE KNEW CUZ WAS
THE ONLY MAN SHE REALLY LOVED.

WHEN WE KISSED JUST NOW,
I HEARD BELLS.

NATURALLY.

WHAT NATURALLY?

COME ON, JUNIOR. I'LL TEACH YOU
THE FACTS OF LIFE.

WHENEVER YOU'RE READY, HONEY.

-SAY THE WORD.
-WE'RE ALL SET.

YEAH, JUST GIVE US A CUE.

IF YOU DON'T WANT FORTUNE
AND YOU DON'T WANT FAME

DON'T WANT EVERYBODY
TO KNOW YOUR NAME

YEAH, YEAH,
UH-HUH

JUST START
LOOKING FOR LOVE

L-O-V-E,
LOVE

HEY, HOW COME I END UP
WITH A SMART ALECK BROAD?

JUST START LOOKING

FOR LOVE