All language subtitles for The.Real.Housewives.of.New.Jersey.S8E03

Previously on The Real Housewives of New
Jersey.

Teresa, what is wrong with you? You guys
are party poopers. I don't want to do

yoga. Worst against the worst.

I don't know, actually. They didn't
answer a group text.

This is why she was engaged 19 times.

We weren't up for yoga because of the
way things ended last night. Just

this would be a beautiful memorial to
your mom.

But if we had known about the memorial,
nothing would have stopped us from

going. You've got to get your shit
together, Frankie. Don't embarrass us. I

to Daddy, what do you want to do with
the house?

I said, sell it.

Ziggy, or better known as Soggy Flicker,
with all the crying. You have no

compassion. You are talking down to us.
You can continue going out and acting

like trash if you want to. That's not a
deal. Let's not have this deal again.

Okay, let's not. I'm sorry. I'm out of
here. I'll make you a doggie bag. I

want your doggie bag. The crab cake was
salty anyway.

Look loyalty up in the dictionary, and
you'll find my face.

The only life I envy is my own.

I bring the power, the pigtails, and the
party.

My motto is, know your worth.

Leave the rest to your plastic surgeon.
If you're not about to namaste, get the

hell out of my way.

What's going on? I have exhaustion from
that trip.

You look good. Oh, thanks. I have so
much work to do now that we're back. We

have to, like, do our launch party for
the new line of summer cosmetic bags.

Here. Well, the cosmetic bag samples
arrived, so it's all about whipping out

posse in four days.

It's crazy. I mean, how are we going to
throw this together?

We're going to just do it. It's going to
be fun. We'll do a boardwalk theme with

cute goodie bags to give away.

Yeah, it's a little stressful because,
God forbid, I have the ballroom ready.

You know, Joe doesn't do shit while I'm
gone.

I have a new line of summer cosmetic
bags. So we're just doing the launch

because they're shipping in the next few
weeks.

Let's just go check out this space
because I'm having a total freak out.

go see.

I'm going to throw this party in my
house. But it's under construction.

And the fabulous Super Joe said it's
going to be a quick turnaround.

Well, guess what? Six months is not a
quick turnaround.

But I always host these parties at my
home. It's just classic March.

This house looks like a bomb hit. Need
we say more?

This renovation is so...

Hello? Because my husband, the
contractor, he will not allow one other

contractor in the house. I don't know
what he's thinking.

It'll be fine.

He's like, don't think I don't know. I
saw the way they were looking at you. I

know the way I looked at you when you
came down in the pigtails. I mean, he's

delusional. I mean, it's adorable.

So let's talk about the guest list. I'm
going to invite all my friends. You

know, I also want to invite my new
friends that I met in Boca.

I love them. We had a great time. But
the truth is, Siggy was having, like,

just... Obviously, you heard the rumors.

She was, like, unhinged.

Hi, honey. Hey. What are we making?

Meatballs. Michael's famous meatballs.

So you know how to do this, right? Take
a little bit, cup your hands like this.

It feels so slimy. What's going on? You
know, I haven't seen you since the

weekend. I had the, I don't know, very
upset about this weekend. That's the

truth. This should have been a layup. I
mean, you wanted to make a nice time for

Teresa because everything that she was
going through and then.

You know, it was also Melissa's
birthday.

I'm sad about Teresa and Melissa.

I'm angry and livid over Margaret.

She's going out of her way to be so nice
to Teresa.

But meanwhile, the person who brought
her to this crowd, wouldn't you just

me in the morning and say, hey, Steve,
how are you feeling? Let's spend the day

together. I didn't realize Ziggy and
Dolores weren't coming to the yoga. And

when I didn't see them that morning, it
didn't even click to me to call them.

And then that night, we're invited to
her house for dinner. And then she

to cry again. I go, all right, soggy. I
mean, if she says it's because she has

no... uterus, I'm going to freak out.
This woman has no uterus. She doesn't

every day.

She's calling me soggy flicker.

Unbelievable. At the end of the day,
this Margaret, you're better off just

putting her over to the right and
working it out with Melissa and Teresa.

planning on meeting with Teresa. Right
now, I'm not even thinking about

Margaret. I'm always the bigger person.
I can move past anything.

Oh, yeah. You don't hold grudges. I
can't. Except against your mother.

Delora? Yes?

Where are you?

In the kitchen.

Hey. Hi, Frank.

And what's that?

Clothes that I ordered.

You know, the typical.

What? This is like, goes back how many
years?

This is what happens when I'm gone. The
clothes don't get folded right away. And

then they're all wrinkled. I should just
rewash everything. And you're folding

them wrong. I'm folding them wrong?
There you go. How's that? I'll be my

See the difference?

Since Frank moved back in, he forgets
that he hasn't been here in 18 years and

thinks that he's going to rule the room.
It's not happening.

Frankie's upset.

Did you yell at him? You used the word
yell. I didn't mean yell. It was a

conversation. He's an emotional kid.
He's a sensitive kid. I know he is.

was I upset about school? Yes.

When I was in Boca, I got bad news from
Frankie's tutor for college.

Did somebody drop the ball?

I mean, I would say Frankie kind of
dropped the ball. Is he getting in

Like, what am I doing?

You know, I don't know.

Since the call, he has worked with her
to fix his application.

But now there's an issue between Frank
and Frankie because, like most men,

overreacted. Did you call him an
embarrassment?

Think about it.

At one point, I think I did, yes.

You owe him an apology, then.

I owe him an apology?

Do you ever apologize to Everton?

Oh, yeah.

I don't recall you ever saying you're
sorry since I met you. You haven't been

home in 18 years. What do you know what
goes on here when you're not here for 18

years? Listen.

Problem is this. It's the first time for
Frankie that he has ever had both

parents in the same house. So if you
have you parenting one way, me parenting

another way. I can understand why you
had a meltdown. I would. You think I

him. I think you're hard on him. Let's
meet in the middle. I have no problem

with that.

Come on, baby.

You guys are going to have to help me
with this.

Oh, my God.

What happened to your workers?

Oh. Oh.

Are you kidding me? This is a mirror.

I want my dad to know that I consider my
home his home. I'm going to kick his

ass.

Look what we do for you, Dad.

We're trying to take his furniture and
move into my house so he's as

as possible.

Melissa, you got it? Oh, my God.

No, no. It's going down. No, no, no.
It's going down. Break my back.

No. I'm going to break my back. Melissa,
no.

Put the bottom down. Oh, my God.

Melissa, just go.

Put it down. Put it down. Oh, my God.
Don't!

It's like 800 pound piece of furniture.

Like, I got it, babe. I got it. Leave it
right there. Hey!

Oh! Adio!

All right. All right, this is the last
of it.

All right, let's get the room done.

All right, so I need a screwdriver.

We need a flathead and then we can start
this. All right. All right, hold this

here. So what happened? Tell me what
happened in Boca. Well, in a nutshell,

Ziggy thinks she's too good for all of
us.

Since you guys aren't like animals, you
guys could go f*** yourselves.

Unbelievable.

Tell me about Boca. Oh, it exploded.

Ziggy goes, I don't feel it was right
that you guys need to act like this. So

now Teresa and Melissa, they're like,
you shouldn't call us animals.

And Ziggy's like, I didn't, but Ziggy
was drunk. I don't know if she did. I

don't remember.

But if Ziggy says she didn't, I back her
up.

Did Laura straighten her out? No, she's
so far up Ziggy's ass that, I mean, I

couldn't even pull her out. Really?

Yeah. She's like family.

We've been together since we were kids.

How long she know Ziggy?

Not even a year.

Where's the loyalty?

What's up with this girl?

We all know Siggy brought this girl
named Margaret.

Margaret used it as a tool to get Teresa
and Melissa close to her by saying

Siggy shouldn't have said those things.
This girl's no good.

How does Margaret turn on Siggy after
she embraces her and brings her into a

group of her own friends?

What kind of character is that? She's a
snake.

Treat her accordingly.

What came in new that I haven't seen
yet? This is all new right in here. This

so cute. Oh my god, I want to wear the
flamingo bathing suit.

Hey!

Look at this fabulous place. Do you
like?

Welcome to Envy.

This is so beautiful. Do you like my
little shop? I love it.

Everything's merchandised beautifully.

Do you think so? Yeah.

Turns out Margaret and I have a lot in
common, and while we were in Boca, we

really bonded about being in the same
industry.

You design these? Yeah, yeah, yeah. How
do you come up with all these, like,

prints? We design all our own prints,
and we copyright them. Wow.

You know, I think we definitely have to
talk. I think you could do a lot of

stuff, and, you know, I'll introduce you
to some great people.

She's got so many different licensing
deals and products.

Like, she has a lot that she can teach
me, and I am all eyes and ears on her.

I'm up for any...

constructive criticism that you may
have. Ah!

This place is so pretty!

Hey! Look at you, all lady in pink! How
are you? I'm beautiful.

How are you? This place is gorgeous.

She is the best stuff. That's what I was
just saying. By the way, I was going to

tell you, tomorrow night, we're doing a
launch for my cosmetic bags. I'm doing a

party at my house.

I'm inviting all the girls.

Okay. Have you talked to Siggy? No. So
last night, I was going to message her

last night. Do you know she blocked me
on social media?

Wait, what?

No, I'm not even kidding. I'm sorry. Why
do people do that? I feel like it's so

childish.

I think it's a little dramatic. I don't
know. I'm not getting it. It comes off

to me like something my daughter would
do. She would just go and, like, block

her friend because her friend said that
she didn't like her shirt. Wait, why?

What did I miss?

I'm the one who walked out on the...
Obviously, she hasn't blocked you.

I don't... Where's my phone? I want to
know if I'm blocked from Cindy's

Instagram. No, I can see it.

You can see. Isn't that weird?

When we were in Boca, Siggy was more
upset with Melissa and Teresa.

They're actually the ones who stormed
out of her dinner.

But by the time we got home, I'm the
mortal enemy.

Not sure where it went south.

I don't even know what she's so upset
about. What did I say that was so

devastating? I think she felt like,
okay, I'm bringing you in. I'm

you. I think she would have leaned on
you a little bit more if you would have

sided with her a little bit. Well, I
think the way she behaved was so over

top. I mean, she did say to me.

Thank you. I think I was in shock. Are
you going to invite her? Yes, I'm still

going to invite her because I could move
on from... She's calling her.

I will get my phone.

Hello?

Hi, Sig. It's Margaret. How are you?

Oh, good. How are you? Good. I'm
checking in. I know we haven't spoken

Boca, and I'm sure we have tons to
discuss. But, you know, tomorrow night

just having people at the house, and, of
course, I want you to attend.

Oh, I appreciate the invite, but...

I have to respectfully decline.

Too much stuff happened at Boca that I'm
very upset about.

I just want it to be right for me to
just walk in and be phony, and I hope

your party is a huge success.

Really? You don't think we could just
move past it?

No.

Coming up. I want to take her and pull
on those pigtails until they come out of

her head. I hate the bitch.

You don't think we could just move past
it?

No. I feel like you slighted me. You
didn't really care about your friend,

Siggy, who introduced you to everybody
else. No. And then on top of it, calling

me Sarge Flicker, I didn't appreciate
it.

Okay, Siggy, I just hope you could move
past it.

I mean, she's psychotic.

Wow.

She's, like, really pissed. Wow. I told
you that's what it was.

Okay, can I just say one thing? She's
really got to grow up.

I guess she feels when she introduces
someone, she actually owns them. She has

to tell them how to behave. Well, it's
life according to Ziggy, I guess. The

only thing I'm going to be shocked about
is if Dolores doesn't come.

Well, if Dolores wants... Did you ask
Dolores yet? I didn't even ask Dolores

yet. I will text Dolores and I'll say,
hey, you know, your sidekick's not

coming. I'm so sorry.

I didn't know if I was going to say
that. I mean, that might be not the

way to start it off. No, no, no. Don't
say it that way. We'll have to see what

happens. What else can you do?

Hi, Daddy. What's going on? What's up,
guys?

Thank you.

Well, you guys are only 20 minutes late
this time.

Don't listen to him.

May I get you anything to serve?

Please. I'm going to have the shrimp
parmesan. The cowboy steak, please.

Yeah. A wedge salad.

Thank you so much.

What are you thinking, Frank? What are
you looking at? What? I thought you were

laughing at me. No, she wasn't. Why do
you always think he's laughing at you?

Sorry, I poked you in the eye. Because
him and Gabby gang up on me, then I hope

they start ganging up on you.

I'm not going to gang up on me.

Why? Because they know better.

Come on, ask your question.

How do you feel about Dad moving back?
Because all I hear from your mother all

the time is, don't be so rough on you,
don't be so rough on you. I'm still

protecting you after all these years.

Thank you, Mom. What's there to protect
you from? Your obsessive -compulsive

disorder.

All I ask is that the house be kept
clean.

Disaster to what?

Frank is not all wrong, but I don't want
him to yell at Frankie like he did

about the tutor.

Frankie's going to college very soon,
and it's kind of like, I miss Frankie.

Being a little boy, it's very hard to
let go.

Let's talk about college.

We're under the gun right now.

I want to know, where are you seriously
considering?

Miami, Boston, Rutgers.

Definitely visit there. Maybe Emma could
come.

Let's talk about that.

What's going to happen when you and your
girlfriend, when you go away to

college? We want to try and see if we
can make it work.

Listen, Frankie, I know you're close
with her.

But it's not happening.

I've been telling Frankie since he's
three years old, stay away from women

you're out of college and you're
established.

Otherwise, you're not going to reach
your potential.

Frank, tell him.

It's not going to work.

Oh, my God. Frank, I think you should
just relax a little bit, okay? Can I

you something? I made a mistake. I went
away to college.

My girlfriend at the time said to me,
why don't we break it off? I'm the one

said no.

And quite honestly, Frank, it was
nothing but a disaster.

I'm very impressed at the way Frank is
handling this conversation.

Thank God, finally, Frankie is starting
to understand how to talk to Frankie.

You're young.

Enjoy yourself.

Hey, you know, you're more of like, I
would say, a multiple -girl type of guy,

while I'm more of a one -girl type of
guy.

What the f*** did he just say?

Frank, please.

Handsome. What is all this?

I'm trying. I have to, you know, the
mausoleum has a piece of granite. They

writing, you know. It would say, Il
nostro amore non more

mai. Our love will never die.

Oh, I love that.

I go to the mausoleum every morning. And
as I pull up.

I'm good. As soon as I open that door, I
start bawling, you know?

Even though Joe puts on a happy face for
his father, for his sister, for his

children, he struggles every day with
the loss of his mother.

It's a tough time right now, but
eventually life has to go back, you

Yeah.

Joe has such a hard time whenever he has
to relive any kind of moment, whether

it be...

going to pick out the tombstone,
clearing out his mother's house, dealing

her will. It forces him to relive the
moment, and it's like punching him in

gut each time.

When did your father pass?

How long did it take?

He died so many years ago. I mean, I was
17.

The pain never goes away, you know? But
the more you keep busy, Joe, the better.

Yeah.

Think about my father.

You know, I got to keep him occupied.

That's a good idea.

You know?

Imagine my father with somebody 37 years
and losing him. I'm with Melissa 13

years, and if I lost her today, I'd be a
mess.

All right, let me finish this.

I love you.

Love you, too.

I have a pinot grigio. There you are.
Thank you so much. Let me know if you

anything else. Thank you. You're
welcome.

Hi, honey.

Hi.

How are you doing? Good, how are you?

Okay.

Thanks for inviting me here. I know the
last time we didn't end so well.

And I'm very upset about it. When
Teresa's around other people, she's

in the moment.

Can I have a Cabernet?

Yes, thank you.

But one -on -one, I think she will
completely see where I'm coming from,

can get back to our friendship.

We have the most amazing friendship.

It's been smooth sailing up until Boca
Raton.

I'm upset about the cake thing with you
because when you saw me upset, you were

like, okay, Siggy's upset. Who really
gives a... I mean, listen, I did let

a little bit. Maybe it was the alcohol
that night because some of the stuff

you were saying.

I was very pissed off. You said a lot of
things that's really out of your

character. I was very toasted.

But then the next day when we went to
your friend's house and you like

reprimanded us. I'm just like hoping
that...

Like tennis rackets don't go flying. I'm
asking us to behave properly.

Yes. Where's this coming from? I'm like,
she wasn't drinking then.

But even at my place, I was like, why
would Teresa walk out of my house? I

didn't like some of the things you said.

I'm sorry for that. Everything that came
out of my mouth, it was just out of

anger. So you didn't mean those things
that you said? No. You know, you said

things that you didn't mean. I threw a
cake that I didn't mean. I don't even

know what came over me. I really did
feel bad. No, but I believe you. But

Margaret, what's her excuse for being so
mean?

She could have said, hey, Siggy, I know
you're upset.

Let's just have a nice day, and we're
going to do something for Teresa in

of her mom.

No phone call? We thought we were going
to get a phone call too.

It just seems that Marguerite, you have
a bigger issue.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. It's a huge issue
what she did to me. I'm crying and she's

saying to me, Soggy Siggy, I want to
take her and pull on those pigtails

they come out of her head.

She calls me up.

I'm having a party. I don't want to go
to her party. I have no interest. I

stand a bitch. Every time I open up my
mouth, she's giving me another dagger.

Beware. No soul.

Pigtails. Can't stand.

Stay away!

I really don't know what's going on
right now. I don't know if this is soggy

Siggy or psycho Siggy. I mean, she's
definitely coming unhinged. Is Dolores

going? I don't know, yeah.

I really want you to come tomorrow
night. Why can't you just come and,

feel her out? I hate the f***ing bitch.

Oh, Madonna, man. Yeah, I can't stand
her.

Coming up. I wanted to surprise you. I
bought this place.

You blindsided me here.

I can't

live like this, Joe.

Mark. Joe, what are you doing?

We have to do our launch party. What's
going on with this room?

You're two months out.

By the way, you mock me constantly, and
I'm dead serious. Because the bottom

line is, we're a design company.

We're all about style and fabulosity.
And the truth is, it's embarrassing.

I mean, do you want me to look bad in
front of my new friend? I'm moving it as

fast as moving it can get done. Don't
make it out like I'm difficult.

You are a little bit. Whatever.

I'm starving. I'm hungry, too. I'm so
happy you finally want to, like, go to

lunch and get out a little bit. You
feeling a little better?

No, you know, not really, but... I got
to keep busy. It keeps my mind off

things, you know?

There it is. We're here.

My stomach's growling like hunger.

Yeah.

Come on, gorgeous. There you go.

Is it open?

Yeah. You like it?

Cute. I wanted to surprise you. With
what?

I bought this place.

I'm so confused right now.

You bought a restaurant?

Yeah. You signed for this already? It's
done.

I bought into an existing restaurant
that I'm going to change the name.

It's cool, right?

You don't go buy a restaurant and not
tell your wife. Who does that?

I'm an entrepreneur.

That's what I do.

No, really. Who does that?

I can't keep all my eggs in one basket.

I can't just have all real estate.

But I don't understand how you think
you're going to do that and this.

I have chefs. I have Nikki here that I
know from back in the day is a chef.

I mean, I'm trying to...

bite my tongue as much as I can because
I know there's enough going on in his

life right now. This is so... I don't
want to own a restaurant.

It's a lot of work to own a restaurant.

Let me show you the kitchen. Come on.
You might like it a bit.

This is Nicky. You never met Nicky? Hi,
how are you?

He's nuts.

He is nuts. He's out of his mind. You're
like a grumpy old man, but he's the

best cook. She loves vodka sauce. Make a
tourlini of vodka sauce.

Watch this pasta.

All right.

Really, tell me what you think of this
place. Do you like it?

I'm not saying I don't like it. I'm
saying that I'm scared.

Don't jinx this.

Joe, I want to bless everything you do,
because if it doesn't work for you, it

doesn't work for me, honey.

Here's the pasta. Oh, my God, that was
fast.

So wait, so is this what you want to do?
Like, if I ordered pasta just now,

you'd bring it to me this quickly?

Fast food, but gourmet. Isn't it good?

It's not about the food. I know the
food's going to be phenomenal.

I don't, listen, I don't doubt that.

I'm a little upset that when I decided
that I wanted to open Envy, I came to my

husband, told you every step of the way,
like every single thing, and you

totally blindsided me here.

All right, but listen, you want to know
why?

because now it gives my father something
to do.

He's going to come in and show him the
old homemade recipes.

He can come every day, even spend three,
four hours a day, you know?

I know he's super worried about his dad.
We all are worried about my father -in

-law. We want to keep him busy.

I mean, it feels like an excuse, but if
he would have just talked to me about

it, I would never have had this
reaction.

I talked to my father yesterday. I said,
Bob, I bought the restaurant, and he

was excited about it, which was good.
Okay. All right?

Oh, my God, this is happening.

Are you excited to be doing this again?

Yeah, I'm really excited.

I mean, listen, the stakes are very high
with this book.

You ready? Yeah.

Hi, guys.

How are you?

Hi, sweetie.

Oh,

I'm so excited to be here.

Hi, Teresa.

I love your suit.

Thank you.

All right, so what book number are we up
to now?

This will be book six.

Tell them the title that you've come up
with. Oh, yeah. What's the title?

Standing Strong.

Oh, I love it. Love it. It'll be
perfect. What I want the picture to be

front is doing a yoga pose.

The tree pose? Yeah.

Do you like that? And if they go with
me, I'm true. People call me true.

That's great.

You've got a lot to talk about.

We're sorry about your mom, by the way.
It's so hard.

You went deep in this one, but I think
there's more that we can get. If you

really go deeper, this will be
financially rewarding.

I feel like I did.

How do you feel like I haven't? You
know, I think that in turning the

you still had that guard up of, you
know, I'm OK, I'm strong. Like this is

are perfect, but they want to know that
it's not perfect when you wake up at six

in the morning and you've got girls that
need to get to school and you're

missing Joe.

Think about it, too. You will help other
women.

Since Joe's been away, I feel the
pressure of this book because I am the

provider. I just paid off a restitution
last year.

Soon the girls will be going to college,
so I really have to save for that.

So I really, really need this book to do
well.

And we need a draft.

The goal is to have this book out before
the end of the year. Yes. We hit number

two on the bestseller list last time.
Let's hit number one. I would love to

number one.

That's the bar.

I set it pretty high. Now I've got to go
even higher.

The house is like a show.

I've got to run down. Are you excited?
I'm excited.

Now I'm excited.

I mean... Joe?

Yes? The floor needs confetti. I'm like
a shaky wreck. I have static. I couldn't

find my spanks. You're beautiful.

What are you worried about? Margaret,
the ovens are not working. Really? I'm

serious. Come fix the ovens!

This has been on an hour and a half. You
can stick your whole hand inside.

Joe, could you just figure out what's
going on? I don't know what to do with

Maybe you should cook more often. We did
cook in it once. I heated french fries.

Well,

that's right. That's as far as we go for
cooking in the house.

I mean, I know what we're going to do.
We're going to have to order Chinese

food.

You're going to take Adriana to dance,
and then I think Gabrielle has soccer.

What time do I come home?

What, do I have a curfew?

Yeah, 9 .30.

9 .30?

I'll be late.

Okay, I won't be late.

Hi, honey.

You getting your makeup done?

Do I never not get my makeup done if
we're going to a party? I told you. Big

deal. What do you mean?

I wanted to hit the gym.

I can't believe he's trying to blow off
the party. This is a new friend of mine,

and she could be great for my business.

You know, we should start at the
restaurant.

I'm tired. I'll be happy laying on the
couch tonight.

Yes, I'm well aware that we opened a
restaurant that I knew nothing about.

But, you know, now I need him to come
and support me.

Is that too much to ask?

Who wants espresso?

That's what Italians do.

What else do Italians do? I heard they
take care of their wives.

They love us.

Show me your abs.

Got any?

Yeah, I got abs.

What else are you going to show?

What else do you want to see? I'm just
saying.

Um, I don't share my husband.

Listen, honey, I don't like sharing you
either.

We'll go.

We'll have fun.

Coming up, I want to show you my new
dance. Okay, my new dance.

Catch. Catch it. And then we switch
places.

Dolores, we see a cake coming.

Who greets their guests and rollers?

Only the margin.

Thank you. We're having major crisis.
The ovens aren't working. Are you

me? I know what we're going to do.
You've got to call Margot Tucker.

I forgot about Margot Tucker. Hold on.
It's right up the block. We could do

that. That would work.

She's coming to the party. Thank God you
thought of that. Genius.

And they have a brand new oven.

Margot, I love you, and I need you.
You're not going to believe it. My ovens

broken. Could La Promenade come over and
use your oven?

Absolutely. Of course.

Thank you. God forbid I ever cooked.

It's not that funny.

All right. So they're going to come
over. Thanks, Lavi. Thank you, boobs.

-bye. I'm running right now.

Okay. Is that good?

Must we look in these cabinets?

People have to see I live on peanut
butter popcorn.

I'm coming!

Oh, kid!

I love you!

Yeah, we're wearing pigtails. It's
mocking Margaret. Dolores and I are

slumber party at my house. So you know
what?

Margaret and her pigtails can go...
themselves. I would rather stick a hot

in my eye than go to her damn party.

I had something made for you.

Isn't that great?

No, no, no, no, no. I have too many
pictures of the family. I got to have

Dolores up here.

When I met Siggy, I was very vulnerable.

I mean, I was coming out of.

A five -year relationship.

It was an engagement.

I love this picture of us. That's just
cute. The people that knew me didn't

how hurt I was, but Siggy did.

And she made me come out of my shell.

She's a good friend, and I will always
have her back, no matter what.

Dolores, I have a surprise for us. It's
the latest and greatest mask. It takes

off seven layers of skin. Good.

I want to get down to the baby skin.

Joy, so good to see you. Thanks for
coming.

I'll say hi to my ex -husband.

Hi, Jan Joseph.

Your favorite ex -wife.

How funny is this? This is so great.

You're the best. You're so funny.

So nice to meet you.

Thanks so much for coming. I mean, my
oven's broke. No, my oven's broken.

Okay,

they're hot.

Are we okay with your germs and stuff?
We're going right now.

Thank you. You saved the day.

No one will be able to eat.

Love you.

I like this house. Look at the windows.

Definitely can't walk around naked in
this house.

It's a big door. Holy crap.

Hi. How are you?

Good. How are you?

I'm Margaret's mom.

Oh, my gosh. You look just like her.
Nice to meet you. Look at her shoes.

so cute.

Oh, I love these shoes.

Hi. I'm Joe. Hi, Joe. Oh, nice to meet
you. Here's my Joe. Joey.

Nice to meet you, my friend. Thanks so
much for coming.

How are you? I love this outfit.

Thank you.

You enter Margaret's house, and it's
fabulous.

It's over -the -top, psychedelic. Like,
it just reeks fabulosity.

Oh, look at this. You have a lot of
people here.

Small cocktail parties, like New Year's
Eve. Come in, come in, come in.

These chairs, Dolores, you gotta... They
go all the way back like this. Like

this? This is better than Margaret's
party.

I'm so happy that you and I are not
there tonight. I saw what you did to me

Boca in front of my friends. Can you
imagine what she would have done to me

her house with her friends around?

Ixnay on that.

Smart girl.

I'm hoping that when Teresa and Melissa
are there...

If our names do happen to come up,
because somebody's going to say... They

what we've always done for everybody
else. I hope they defend us.

This is so cute.

What do I want to drink? What's in that?

Oh,

I want some of that. I'm having a cotton
candy martini. Cheers. Cheers to my

wonderful home. Thank you so much for
coming. Thank you.

Is Dolores coming? No.

Dolores said something crazy. I got to
show you the text message. You're not

going to believe it. No, wait a minute.
Stiggy told me that Dolores was coming.

No. Because she invited me to be with
you. Oh, hey.

How are you?

I shouldn't be surprised that Dolores
didn't come because all of a sudden

become Stiggy's minion. Whatever Stiggy
says, Dolores does.

Look at what she wrote. I'm going to...
a decline.

I don't appreciate how you came at Siggy
and Boca.

That's where I stand. It's a loyalty
thing.

Something I'm not sure you are familiar
with.

Loyalty? I know Dolores all the 20
years. Hold on, you're sure that was

so it wasn't Siggy? I can't tell them
two apart.

Dolores is so up Siggy's ass lately, who
would know the difference?

You know, it's so loud in here. Just the
girls. Let's go in the other room. I

have this other little library room.

Can I peel this off? No, because it's
like peeling. Dolores, it's going to

you when you peel it off. I like it. You
like the paint? I love paint.

Why don't we put on music and then we
can dance? Okay, let's do it. I want to

show you my new dance.

Catch it.

Catch it.

Like, uh.

We got this.

We got this.

And then we switch places.

Dolores, we see a cake coming.

What is up with these women? They're
nuts. It becomes a cat fight sometimes.

I tell you, I'm glad I be standing up.
I'm glad I got balls instead of...

so f***ing funny. Right? You said you
met with Siggy yesterday. Yeah, I met

her yesterday, and she's like, I hate
this f***ing bitch. Oh, she's been with

Siggy? Oh my God. I don't know what's
going on here. I mean, I could move past

basically anything.

I mean, what do you think? Why don't you
text her right now?

I'll text her. I'm going to be the
bigger person again. I'm going to reach

to her.

You know, she, like, throws it back in
my face. I'm going to hit the... I

Okay,

fine. All right. If she wants to make me
out to be this person that I'm not...

Well, and if my so -called friends buy
it, then they buy it. No one's buying

but... I don't know. Maybe they are. Oh,
listen. Wait, I just got a text.

Oh, Margaret just checked me.

Coming up.

I was deeply hurt.

So when people are hurt, I'm not going
to say the woman who created the Macbeth

collection. I'm going to say the bitch
with the pigtails. I just

got

a text.

Oh, Margaret just checked me.

Checked you? What do you mean checked
you? No, she just said hi at the party.

Weird you're not here, especially with
the girls you introduced me to.

Let's try to put this past us and meet
in person. Let me know. Excellent,

Margaret. That was the most insincere
text I ever heard.

Listen, it's the first time she's being
nice to me. That text made me more mad

than the act itself.

What? Because it's perfunctory.

It's what?

She's doing it because she has to.

Why reach out? Because you're under
pressure because they're telling you you

have to make up with Ziggy because this
is awkward.

If she wants to meet... This is awkward.
Now it's awkward. Now it's awkward. The

whole weekend wasn't awkward. But if she
says, hey, let's meet and try to put

this behind us, I owe it to myself.

You owe nothing to anyone. There's no
getting around it. You owe nothing to

anyone. I'm a nice person. I'm going to
meet her, but this is how I'm going to

keep her like this.

At arm's length.

My prediction is that meeting is not
going to go well.

All things are pointing to the fact that
Margaret's just a sneak and she wants

to take Siggy's place in the group.

Hope you are having a great night.

Would love to put this in the past. How
about the diner tomorrow?

Question mark.

That's it. I don't put XO Siggy. That's
phony. Love you. That's fine.

Close that chapter.

I'm just going to say to Siggy point
blank, you took it too far. I texted

You think she would text back?

Oh, here she is. Oh, she did.

Hope you're having a great night. Would
love to put this in the past.

All right, well, that's a turn of
events.

She wants to get together tomorrow.

You know what? Listen, that was very big
of her because yesterday she was having

a stage five. So I hope we can put it
past this. Cheers, guys.

I really want to work it out with Siggy,
but if I'm sitting with her at the

diner and the waterworks start, I don't
know what I'm going to do.

Where's the goodie bags for the girls?
Oh, thank you.

Cajoling the 50 -year -old woman is
really not my strong suit. Make sure I

good because they're gorgeous.

Show me.

Look how beautiful.

Not bad. I look constipated, but it's
horrible. Oh, don't.

Hi.

Just had two for lunch. I'm meeting a
friend.

Thanks.

Water with lemon would be great. And
they're all great, too. Thank you. Okay,

you're welcome. Hi.

How are you?

So good that you came.

Thank you. I just ordered myself a
little tea while I was waiting for you.

Coffee. Thank you.

You know, we missed you last night.

Just... After what happened in Boca, I
was just very, very hurt. Yeah, I just,

you know what, I don't understand the
depth of it, because I don't know what I

did that was so awful, and I would like
you to tell me. No, after the night of

the cake throwing.

Okay. Everybody was at the beach. You
don't think, let me call Siggy and

her to spend the day? And they invited
me to yoga on the beach. There was a

group text inviting everybody. I did
realize once we got there that you

there. It wasn't intentional.

You just spent all day hanging out with
my friends on the beach. I know, but you

were hanging out with your best friend,
Dolores. But I came there for Teresa and

Melissa, for all of us to be together as
a group. I know, but why is it on me to

call you and not everybody else to call
you? Did I introduce you to everybody?

It's a big deal.

This isn't high school. You're right.
You're right.

It's a big deal. You're right. It's not
a big deal. No, it's not a big deal.

You're absolutely right. Thank you.
You're absolutely right.

Yeah. I need cheese fries.

Believe it or not, I have to, like, chow
down. I have to have an omelet with

American cheese, bacon, and avocado.

Thank you so much. You know, how could
this go on for so long that I would haul

you up?

and invite you to an event. I didn't
think your party was the proper forum.

you were able to insult me in front of a
group of friends, then I surely wasn't.

But you insulted me and you insulted
your other friends. You called them

classless. You said their behavior's
trashy. You called me ice queen.

You called me Soggy Flicker. That's not
hilarious.

Soggy Flicker isn't even that mean of a
name. I mean, if I called her Saggy

Flicker. It's much more offensive.

I was deeply hurt. So when people are
hurt, I'm not going to say the woman who

created the Macbeth collection.

I'm going to say the bitch with the
pigtails.

That's not very women empowering.

You talk the talk, but you don't walk
the walk. I'm not trying to empower you.

I'm trying to destroy you. But is that
really what you're about? Is that really

what you're about?

No, it's not what I'm about.

I'm shocked at your hypocrisy. You have
hypocrisy. You know what I can't

tolerate? That you have hypocrisy.

For someone who makes a living telling
people to walk away from toxic people,

the height of hypocrisy is she says she
wants to destroy me. I mean, she's the

highest level of insanity as far as I'm
concerned.

You know, I'm going to just say, but you
have to be able to laugh at yourself as

much as you laugh at everybody else.

But timing is everything. Your timing.
My timing is perfect.

I'm like Joan Rivers. I'm sorry. It's
funny. And I think I'm more like Joan

Rivers.

Listen to me. Sandy Flickr is a Joan
Rivers line. Let me just say something.

Bring it. This is where Joan Rivers is?

I know Joan Rivers. This is where you
are? Do you know Joan Rivers? Because

been to a million parties at her house
before she passed away. I know. I did

meet her three times. But that's okay.

I've been to a million parties at Joan's
house. And believe me.

Margaret.

You know Joan Rivers better, okay?

Yeah, so I'm just saying, no Joan
Rivers.

This girl is off her rocker. Does she
have to challenge everything that comes

out of my mouth?

You should be on medication.

Someone who cries so much should be on
medication. Yes, it's called hormone

replacement. I'm getting pellets on my
ass. Would you like to come with me to

that too? No, that would be amazing
though. You have no heart.

You have no heart.

Oh, my God. I'm going to tell you the
way it is. I want you to tell me the way

it is, which you are. But you don't need
another Dolores. It's going to be yes,

yes, yes, yes, yes, Ziggy. Are you
saying Dolores is a yes person? Well, I

that's a given. I mean, she's so far up
your wrist.

I mean, Dolores is totally a yes person.
She can't attend an event without you.

Is this obvious that this is yellow? I
mean, I'm not the only one who thinks

You know, we did talk about you, I'm not
going to lie.

Teresa and Melissa, they also think it's
weird that you have this deep -seated

thing with me. Like, they couldn't
understand why you were so upset either.

Let's not talk about somebody else.
Let's talk about your feelings. No, no,

Don't tell me what to speak about. Oh,
here we go again. Okay,

let's talk about everybody else's
feelings.

Well, I mean, it's obvious.

All right, don't cry.

Listen, don't cry.

I do not want to make a girl cry. Now
I'm going to feel bad.

I'm not going to say something snotty.

When we're in a group of people and
Siggy's crying hysterically, it's very

theatrical. All right, don't get me
crying myself. I can't. But when we're

and she's crying from what we're
discussing, I actually feel horrible

never want to make her cry.

I'm a f***ing wise -ass, but I would
never want to hurt your feelings. You

wise -ass. I don't think that you
realize how sensitive I really am. No, I

don't, by the way.

I just felt like, you know...

Margaret doesn't really know me.

And you know what? I don't really know
you. Yeah, I think I had assumptions

about you, and you had things about me,
and, you know, we're dating.

No, or whatever it is. But my intention
is not to ever, ever make you cry.

My intention is to be funny, and I am
funny.

I don't care.

I'm very sorry that I hurt you, and that
is a true apology. I do not want to

take a girl down, ever.

I'm feeling pretty good that she
apologized.

I'm not going to let her so close. I'm
going to keep her at arm's length.

Baby steps.

There you go. Thank you.

You know, with that said, we're going to
be at events together. You know, I

don't want to have all this craziness
constantly.

You know what? I'm going to say it's not
common, but that's my thing.

I'm just obnoxious. I can't help it.

That's the girl I am. Now that I know
that, maybe I'm not going to get as

offended. But maybe we've got to toughen
up a little bit. How's that?

Hopefully the next time you see me, I'll
have pellets in my ass. Okay, I'm

excited. Do they stick it actually in or
just on top?

Next time on The Real Housewives of New
Jersey.

Oh, my goodness.

Blend, baby, blend.

Bob is coming to town. I'm going to go
out to dinner with him. Are you

accepting? A little.

Would you be a waitress if you had to?

No, I already warned him I'm not doing
that. Really, babe?

If a cake being thrown across the
restaurant, how many people think that

rude? Please raise your hand. Thank you!

Who throws a cake in a restaurant?

You mother****** liar!

That is right! And I never said that!
Welcome back, scumbag!

To learn more about the Real Housewives,
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