All language subtitles for The.Real.Housewives.of.New.Jersey.S7E03

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Previously on the Real Housewives of New
Jersey. We have to do something for

your birthday.

No, we don't. Yes, we do. I don't like
birthdays.

I think I'm a single parent. I might as
well start giving the nipple.

Oh, my God. I put five years into
somebody I thought I was going to have a

future with. I'm lost.

So now I'm back in my old house.

She's got memories. My old varietal
home.

Hi. Hi.

Who is that?

You two.

This was weird.

I'm not going to lie.

If other women are trying to start
trouble between us, you let me know. I

you know. Yeah. Okay.

Fool me once, shame on me.

Fool me twice, you better run.

I always act like a lady, but now I
think like a boss.

I was raised Jersey Strong.

Nothing in this life can shake me.

Some people think I'm too much. I love
it. They're absolutely right.

I used to flip tables.

Now, I'm turning them.

Good morning, Gino.

Brush your teeth and get dressed.

Joey, you better get up.

Morning, honey.

Morning. Mom, stop.

I'm serious.

No.

What's up, Mom?

Hi, Frankie.

I need a tan.

I need a vacation.

All done? How are you all done?

Huh?

Oh, okay. You got my stubborn streak.

Joey, what did you decide? A Pop -Tart?

Yes, I told you a million times.

You want an egg sandwich, too?

Okay.

You like this breakfast while you guys
did not make your breakfast?

Yes,

we're coming to the gym.

I want to come. Good. Love you, Mom.
Love you. Have a good day. Have a good

Go with God.

What about you? Want to eat?

Antonia, I'm going to the city today to
buy clothing for the boutique. Isn't

that exciting?

No. Yes, it is. No.

Boutique sucks.

It's been a little difficult trying to
balance everything.

This is envy.

I will figure out a way to have the life
I still have with my kids and my

husband and be able to have personal
success.

What did you just say?

They're awesome.

Gino Gorga. You haven't done a side
ponytail since I haven't been home?

Me too.

I only wear normal ponytails.

It's good to get back into the routine
of things, but I am tired. I mean, it

been like a whirlwind.

All right, Adriana, which one do you
want to wear?

You have a break now.

You don't have to make breakfast for us
anymore.

You don't have to brush your hair
anymore.

Good night.

You know, while I was away, I think Joe
knows that he tried.

My fingers are tangled in there. Yeah,
he did a good job, but he's not me.

There's a bomb!

Why are we doing it? Oh, my God. Hi,
Joe.

Get your shoes. Get your sneakers.

I thought I liked a maniac.

I'm going to need you to start helping
me maybe like two days a week, just

getting them off to school so that I can
run to the boutique. Oh, me?

Yes.

Impossible.

My phone's ringing like crazy.

Wait, don't choke him.

All right, I got to go. You're stressing
me out this morning. You're stressing

me out.

You girls are going to walk up the
driveway all by yourself?

No, Mommy, I don't want you to drive on.

No, I can't drive you.

Joe?

You always need to get permission to
leave the house when you're at home

confinement. Can you walk him up the
driveway?

I can't walk the girls to the school
bus. I'm still being monitored, and I

to wear an ankle bracelet.

I love you.

I love you.

It's hard to be monitored all the time.

Watch where you go. Frankie, oh, the bus
is here. The bus is here.

That bus better wait.

Frankie!

Joe!

Joe!

Come and get the dog!

Call Frankie.

Oh, here he comes. Look at him running.

I

can't

believe Teresa called me.

Like, what does she want from me? I need
to know what direction I'm going in

with her. Does she want a genuine
rebuilding of our friendship? I mean, I

for her to reach out, we're at least on
a good...

Jack, clearly this is driving you nuts.

The only way to really know what she
wants is to freaking go after her.

So then I don't have to keep guessing.

I think you're making a good decision.

Joe?

Do you want to do yoga?

What is this bullshit here?

What? I like always send this bill. I
just always throw it out because I don't

want to look at it.

And it doesn't make any sense.

People think they can just send you
bills.

It has my name on it. Joe and I have a
very old school marriage.

Once I married Joe, he took care of
everything, all the finances. I really

didn't pay attention to anything, but I
did get in a little trouble for that.

A little trouble, a lot of trouble.

Judge Salas has imposed a 41 -month
sentence of imprisonment for Giuseppe

Giudice and a 15 -month sentence of
imprisonment for Teresa Giudice. After

sentence, I was angry. I think any other
woman probably would have left him.

I'll call if you don't want to call.

You just got to call and give them the
insurance, you know?

Now I'm standing on top of everything
that has my name on it. You know, before

my John Hancock goes on anything else
ever again, it's going to be right or

not doing it.

I'll wait for you to do yoga. I'm going
to batten you, sir.

Thought you may have missed this.

Oh, my God.

That's just, I'm, like, clinging in. I
didn't even know you were coming.

Hi, thank you.

I don't have any makeup on, nothing.

Hey. How you doing?

I don't care about that.

Did you remember how to get here? Yeah.

What is she doing here?

Can I come in? I went vacuuming. Yeah,
come in. I did write Jacqueline a little

note and wish her a happy new year, but
I never...

Would I ever expect for her to just show
up at my house?

We're just cleaning up. We got the kids
off to school.

Know what's going on? How was New Year's
Eve?

No, it was good.

Um, I, I, um...

Oh, Joe, look who stopped by.

Hi, Joe.

Hey, Jack.

How are you, man? Good.

I'm surprised. You get out of doing
yoga.

I just feel like I've been getting a lot
of mixed signals from you.

I just got home. It's only been a week.
I know, but it started with the note you

sent me. Yeah, yeah.

I need clarity.

Okay. When the two of us were in
Arizona, we were either going to take

of civil acquaintances.

or we're going to try to repair and
rebuild the friendship that we once had.

You know, I believe at that time that we
both chose to forget the things that we

said and did that hurt each other and
that we were going to move forward on

path of rebuilding the friendship.

I tried to convince myself that I didn't
miss you and didn't want you in my

life. I didn't think you would ever
even...

Let me back in. I want you to know that
I would never do anything to hurt you.

Well, when we came back from Arizona,
that's when stuff started happening with

the case and everything.

Because it's not like you contacted me.
I did.

What? And then what did I say?

You would just kind of give me one word,
like, thanks. Like, tell you don't talk

about your legal stuff to anyone. And
you know me. I don't send long texts.

Not that I didn't want to be friends
anymore or whatever.

Well, that was the...

The thing, I was kind of thinking maybe
she's just pushing it away because she's

going through this.

But then you had publicly said I wasn't
your friend.

With all you're going through, do you
miss her?

No. No.

The way you said it was, like, so
hurtful. That was the point for me where

knew, like, that you weren't able to
afford.

Maybe I said that at the time because I
used to not be able to forgive.

You know, it was hard for me.

But... Since I was at camp, I prayed a
lot, and I read a lot of books and the

Bible, and they say you're supposed to
forgive.

So when you wrote me the note, I wrote
it from my heart. I didn't just write it

just to write it.

The other night when I called you, I
just wanted to be good. I just wanted

feelings, you know?

So where do you want to go from here? I
said new beginnings. I mean building a

friendship. I like to hear that. Yeah,
yeah, yeah.

Definitely, definitely.

Yeah, no, I'm glad you came by. I'm glad
you came by. I'm glad I came by.

Melania was saying the other day, I miss
Jacqueline. I want to go to her house

again.

She's like, she had the best toys.

I heard Nicholas is doing so much
better. Yeah. He reads like crazy. He

a book, and he can read the book. That's
great. Do you still have that lady come

in and teach you? Yeah, I have, yeah.

That same lady? You know what? He's made
so much progress, but you always want

more, you know? No, no, it'll come, you
know? You pray?

Yeah. Yeah, no, I mean, really, I'm
telling you, that's what got me through

this, and, you know, I did yoga. I mean,
I love yoga. I'm obsessed.

Oh, my God, I can put my legs all the
way back. No way.

Yeah, you want to do it? Yeah.

I'll do it right here. Hold on. I don't
know if this is all part of the new

Teresa. You're going to see my song, I
know, but.

Just her asking about Nicholas was the
change.

Whoa.

I'm enjoying her right now.

Joe even likes it in the bedroom.

Oh, yeah, I see where Joe would like
that in the bedroom.

Listen,

life's hard enough.

Friendship should be easy.

Now we're laughing and it just feels
like where we left off.

Before we had a disagreement.

Now you've got all these great sexual
positions.

So now Joe sees it. He likes that
better. I'm really bendy. I mean, where

a lot of sex was going on. They're going
to be there a while. They've got to do

something. Right.

They made handmade dildos. Oh, my God.
Oh, yeah.

Really? What did they make it out of?

Gloves, maxi pads, toothbrush.

Oh, so you wrap the maxi pad around the
toothbrush. Right, yeah. Like a glove.

Oh, God.

Yeah, whatever else they would put in
there. Yeah. I'm talking to Jacqueline

about this because I know she's kinky
and she likes sex toys.

Just in case one of her batteries go
out, maybe she could just make it

Wow, you really saw a lot of stuff.

Yeah, a lot.

The night that you came home, I'm like,
I can't imagine what she's feeling right

now. I was picturing you guys all in the
family bed. We did that.

We did that the first night and then Joe
was getting mad.

And then he said, quickies, like go in
the room. We were going in the bathroom

and then he's like, my knees hurt from
doing that. He's like, I can't do that

anymore. Oh no, what time is it?

I had an orthodontist appointment.

Hold on, let me get my phone.

I'm gonna just call him, I feel bad.

Tell him you're all head there and like.

Okay, hold on. Ten minutes.

He came in earlier just for me.

Hold on, I'm going to call her now.

I haven't gotten them tightened in a
year. Teresa and I, we've been through a

lot, and we have a lot of history
together.

Okay, perfect. I'll be there like in
five, ten minutes? That history is not

going away.

Glad you came by.

It was very good seeing you. You too,
honey.

Coming up. This store has my name on it,
and this is not one of the things I

want to put in my budget. I don't have a
customer that's going to buy this.

Hello. Hi. How are you? Is Julian
around?

Okay. Thank you. You got wine today?

I feel like I'm going to bring it all
home with me. We can actually start

over here, so this is going to be our
May 2016.

Got you.

She's way ahead of the trend with that
one.

Everyone's going to be dressing like
Jackie soon and she's going to look at

all and say, I told you so. Exactly. I'm
actually pissed that I didn't wear that

today. See? I absolutely love it. There
we go. I love it.

That's big.

I partnered with Jackie because, let's
face it, I don't know everything about

retail. She has much success in her
store in Florida.

Everything you like, just pull it and
set it there. But the store is going to

look like you're walking into Melissa
Gorga's closet.

You're not walking into Jackie's closet.

I mean, I'm probably not even going to
have one tutu.

This is a nice color.

This is hot.

This is cool, right? Beautiful fabric.
Love this.

Okay, wait. How about this?

My customer's not going to buy it. I
know, but think about the older woman

comes in. This is a great bet, actually.

Oh, my God. Where are you going?

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'm not
going to be able to sell it. My

not going to buy it.

Sorry, Jack.

Let's take four.

Four? It's like our budget. What? I just
don't like the word budget. Like, I

want everything.

Okay, you're making me narrow it down.
Where is that cute, cute, cute romper?

You remember, not everybody's a little
romper girl.

Yeah.

But you like this over the skirt. We
don't have enough skirts.

100 % happening.

I really think this outfit needs to go
in here for color. Here's my thing. If

have some type of budget, this is not
one of the things I want to put in my

budget. And this store has my name on
it. I can't sell this because I don't

a customer that's going to buy this. You
can't put all tight dresses in rompers.

It's not going to work. But really, I do
think that we really need to put this

in the collection.

I mean, budget or no budget, we've got
to start thinking better than that. You

don't have a larger. You don't have
something that fits the older woman.

Lose the customer. I want to have all of
these sizes, but I just don't want them

to look like that. I've made it very
clear to Jackie when I brought her into

this that she is there for the business
end.

I'm going to take a break here.
Everything that's going to go into the

going to be by Melissa Gorga. Calm down
and let me take the lead here.

Oh, my goodness. I guess she needs a
break.

We can go over here. We're going to look
at...

You know, I thought about it. I don't
want to fight, Melissa.

I just want you to have an open mind,
and I'll have an open mind. Listen,

going to make one really good boutique,
and it's going to be killer when it's

done. Okay? We're going to do it. Stop
yelling at me.

You've seen nothing yet.

I can't get enough. I can't get enough.

You look very good.

You look really hot. I'm trying to lose
weight, but I've gained about 15 pounds.

It's okay. It's okay. I'll start myself.

Yeah, that's fine. Dolores, this year
we're working on the house.

No, I know that. I'm going to tell you
what I envision here, okay?

The table's okay. Over here, I want a
buffet here in this area.

Okay. And I want alcohol here. I want
crystal in here.

Ziggy. Okay. All going.

Okay. Everything.

This house belongs to me.

I got this house in the divorce.

It took a lot of years for me to walk
out of this house and take the step to

live with someone else.

So coming back to this house when I
broke up with my fiancé killed me.

It's all got to go.

Yeah, but you know what I love about
you? When I go to people's homes, I see

clutter everywhere. No, I can't. I kept
this house because it was where I raised

my kids, and it didn't make any sense
for me to sell it. But the house is

in time.

You want it to be open, and I want it to
be white.

It's more symbolic for me than it is a
renovation.

It is me standing on my own two feet.
You look amazing.

Get the swelling one down. Oh, my God.
Look, I have healing back in it.

It does, yeah. Good. Look good. Yeah?
Looks good.

Let's just talk about your birthday
party because I'm so... When I said it

my birthday, Teresa's like, we have to
have a get -together.

We have to do something for your
birthday. Why don't we call it a reunion

dinner? You're okay partnering up with
Teresa? I'll do anything. I'm excited

about meeting her. Okay, good. And not
only that, Dolores, I'm not judging

anything that's happened in her life in
the last year. I don't care.

She's a good friend of yours. I will
partner up with her to throw you the

thickest party in the world. I bet you
will. Okay, I'm texting her now. And

guess what? I want to see our girl,
Jacqueline, and Teresa get back

want to see them get back together and
just be happy. Like, take baby steps.

You don't have to jump in the sack right
away.

Right. I'm going to text her.

Trust me. We're going to get along very
well. Okay.

I put myself in! My girl!

I need wine. Do you have wine? Do you
have drinks?

Bring out the champagne, my love. Can
someone open this for me? No, I don't

how to do this. I'm scared of this. I
think you just do like this.

Loosen it up.

Oh, that was easy.

Do you have paper cups? No, no.

We don't need the real stuff.

I want paper cups.

Why are you blotchy? Where did you just
come from? What's going on?

Oh, well, I just came from Teresa's
house.

You did not.

I did.

I'm like, I don't understand what she
wants from me, so I'm just going to go

over to her house. You just went to her
house.

So I just wanted to ask her, you know,
does she want to go the path of civil

acquaintance or on the path of repairing
and rebuilding our friendship?

And she said she wants to go on the path
of rebuilding.

Oh, that makes me happy.

Oh, my God.

You don't understand. It makes her
really, really happy. I treat my friends

they're my sisters. I would never want a
dissension in my family.

And this is my family.

It felt like old times.

Like, I didn't expect that. I feel such
a relief.

I didn't want my party to be like the
battleground.

It was just easy.

There's love between Jacqueline and
Teresa, but this was just a break of the

ice. We're not going to hold hands and
skip through the tulips here.

This is not what this is going to be.

But it's something.

Cheers. Cheers. Happy New Year. Happy
New Year. Happy New Year. Happy New

New beginning.

Coming up next.

I'm, like, asking him for a little extra
help, but Joan's, like, not into it.

He's working. What are you going to do?
You can't tell him to leave work.

See, Melissa's going to stop by with
your cousins, okay?

I don't want you screaming like that. Do
you hear me? I'm not kidding.

Well, I don't want you screaming because
it gives me a headache. God help me.

Being with Melania.

Don't scream.

Put your book back.

Hi.

What's going on?

He is at wrestling practice. Hi, hon.
Hi. How you doing?

Hi, Joey.

Joey, where'd you go? You brought your
homework?

Me and mom, you're going to have tea.

I was doing homework last night so late.

Does Joe help you with the kids with
homework or no? He was doing it when I

wasn't here.

Yeah. But now I do it.

I'm working a lot more now, you know?
Like, I'm doing buying for the store.

I'm getting it ready, and I'm, like,
asking him for a little extra help, but

Joey's, like, not into it. But, like...
Two days a week, maybe. Drop them off so

I can get out of the house before 8.

But Melissa, he does a lot. No, he
doesn't. He does a lot work -wise. He

home at 8 o 'clock at night. Yeah, I
don't know. I mean, if he's working,

are you going to do? You can't tell him
to leave work to come and take them, you

know?

I know my brother's old school and
traditional because when he met Melissa,

just had finished college, and she was
supposed to be a teacher, and he didn't

want her to go to work.

My whole thing is if he's, you know, if
he's working, be happy that he's

working, you know?

Yeah, honey, you dancing?

All right, so guess who popped by
unexpectedly?

Who? Jacqueline.

Loretta? Jacqueline, Loretta, yeah.

Unexpectedly? Yeah. Just knocked on your
door?

Yeah. Was she fine, acting nice?

Oh, yeah, she was so sweet. I mean, it's
like where we left off. That's so good.

She was just, like, asking me, like, you
know, where do we stand? And I said,

um, to new beginning.

Jacqueline is more of a deep, I need
answers.

Teresa doesn't need all of that. She
wants to move it along.

All right, relax.

I have to go take Antonia to the
gymnastic.

I need to go do yoga.

I don't know how long all this kumbaya
is going to last between Teresa and

Jacqueline. I hope it lasts for a very
long time.

Now you're getting it.

Melania, you better cut it out.

Hey, Dad.

Who's there?

Hi. Hi, Mommy.

You look so beautiful, as always.

What's up, my daughter?

Family defines me. I grew up in a very
Italian Catholic neighborhood.

Is there ham in the calzone? Yeah.

There goes my veganism.

Nobody was divorced.

Nobody in my family was divorced.

I broke the old school mold.

It was seven degrees this morning.

And Frank, I was going to go take a dog.
I felt bad. It was outside.

Because the four of them you have is not
enough.

We have five, Dad. Thank God you're
going to veterinary school.

All I care about is my kids are happy.

My ex -husband. Frank and I, we have two
children.

Gabrielle's 20 years old. She's a junior
at University of Delaware. She's in the

pre -veterinary program.

You don't want this, my little man. I'm
sorry.

Frankie is 17.

Frankie has the biggest heart.

He says his prayers. He cleans his room.

He helps me.

This doc is kind of like your last
relationship.

You sold off just in time.

That's a boy for you.

Ask him how he got in trouble because he
didn't take the garbage out. I took the

garbage out.

You left half of the garbage. That is a
touchy subject.

He doesn't always finish a job. Like,
he'll leave a little. That's why we call

him 95%. Oh, my relationship with Frank
is so unique.

He lives right down the street because
he doesn't want to be far from me and

kids. Me and Frank are best friends, but
not intimate. He has someone.

I care for her very much.

I would never.

My friends are having a party for me.
That's very nice.

I'm not invited.

It's only girls.

So, wait. The kids were saying before,
Frank, how happy they are to be back in

this house.

She was not ready to come back.

I was. This is the house I grew up in.
We already had Gabby when we came here,

correct? Yeah.

We had Frankie here. We had Frankie
here. Actually, right on this kitchen

Is that when you threw me out of the
house?

Right before I had Frankie, I threw you
out. It was all because of the hormones.

Yeah, well, it had nothing to do with
the Dominican girl that you met while

were out. That's okay.

But after that, because both your mother
and your father had both of your best

interests in mind. Thank you, Dad.

We then still remain best friends.

You saintly son of a bitch, you.

You guys want me to move back?

Dad, you know what? We miss you.

But I think things happen for a reason.

I don't think I could have said it
better myself.

All right.

Jacqueline? Guess where I'm on my way to
now.

Where? To meet Teresa for the first
time.

Are you serious?

You'll love her, and I think she'll like
you, too.

Any tips before I meet her?

I'm going to be myself.

I don't know any other way but to be the
Sig.

When Siggy enters the room... The party
begins.

It's not even a party until Ziggy enters
the room.

We're going to plan Dolores' party.

Oh, yeah. I believe you live life once,
baby, and we're going to live it and

we're going to do it right.

Yes, my name is really Ziggy. And people
used to bully me for my name. They call

me Ziggy, Squiggy, Ziggy the sea
monster.

I don't even know where I am. I'm lost.

But I just want to make this special for
Dolores.

You know?

I'm a relationship expert. I've been
doing it since the age of 14, and I

the book, Write Your Own Fairy Tale.

This whole podcast is geared towards
relationships.

Having a bad attitude about love is like
having a flat tire. You can't get

anywhere. I give really, really good
advice, and there's no better friend. If

you're peeing in your pants, I'll wipe
your pee.

I'll help you decorate. I'll help you
organize.

I'm a true blue friend, and I expect the
same out of you.

It's so nice.

I usually gravitate to people who are
old school.

I was born in Jerusalem, Israel.

I did grow up in a very religious home.
Tradition is very important for my

family. And the things that are
important to Jews are important to

Old school is old school, no matter what
religion you are.

Teresa! Hi!

Hi, honey!

How you doing?

Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you too.

Are we sitting here?

Yeah, they're going to come and show us
a few rooms. I have this exact bag. Oh,

you did? Yeah.

And mine's a little bit bigger.

How are you doing? Nice to meet you.

How are you doing?

Nice to meet you too.

You happy to be home?

I'm happy to be home. It's been like a
whirlwind the past week.

Right. So I'm like a little like tired.

Sorry for the interruption.

Whenever you guys are ready, I'll be
more than happy to take you. Yeah. Ready

go? Okay. Right this way.

Teresa, I can't wait to show you what
I've done. Should I put that bag away

you? That way you don't have to carry
it. No, no, no, I want to carry it. Are

you kidding me? I worked hard on it.

The second I met Teresa, all my
butterflies, dead.

Right this way, ladies.

Oh, wow.

She's just Teresa.

Let me know if I can do anything for
you. Okay. Thank you. What do you think?

like this room.

It feels cozy.

So I figured if we have... I'm a leopard
girl, too. I love leopards, so I did.

invitations given with love, Ziggy and
Teresa, just like a birthday luncheon.

I figured everybody would have like
little place seating.

I have a hot brush all the time from the
hysterectomy. I like your top. Thank

you. I carry fans everywhere.

I can't, I can't breathe anywhere.

Not having any more children. I mean, I
don't have a fallopian tube. I don't

have a uterus. I don't have anything
left.

So my two children are the loves of my
life. I found my fairy tale with my

second husband, Michael.

But my first husband did give me better
gifts. He gave me Sophie Hannah Flicker

and Joshua Aaron Flicker.

I feel very lucky. I am lucky.

Dolores is going to wear all red. And
we're wearing accents of leopard. I

want people to go out and go shopping
and say they have a leopard scarf. No,

please. I think everybody from Jersey
has a leopard. Thank you for getting all

that because I can't be running around
doing all this stuff right now.

I'm just happy because I've been with
Jacqueline. Every time she mentioned

name, it was always like, wow, I miss my
friendship. I miss my friends. We were

like Lucy and Ethel. I can't believe it.
We were, yeah, yeah.

All right, I think I got to go. But, you
know, it was great meeting you. Talk to

you forever.

I can talk to you forever, too.

Ciao, Bella. Ciao, Bella.

Coming up next.

Kathy!

Hello!

Happy New Year.

Happy New Year.

Grandma, what'd you do today?

Just look at television.

What'd you watch?

Nothing good.

No. Hiya, hon. Grandma, are you having a
nice day with us? Very nice.

You know what I remember? You always
played cards with everybody.

Poker. That's what I want to do with my
girlfriend.

Them days are gone forever.

You're 102.

Yes. Now, did Grandma live through the
Depression?

Yes. You lived through the Depression?
Yes, yes, yes. World War II, right?

Hold on. Dad's here to see you.

Hi, guys.

Come see your kind of weather, mama.

Loving, loving life. Hi, dad. I was just
getting words of wisdom from your

mother. Oh, my.

Hi, my brother.

Love you. You know, growing up in a
strict Italian house, all I wanted was

a wife and a mother. You want coffee,
grandma?

But divorce.

Prison is more accepted in the Italian
culture.

Pop. Yeah. I hear stories about, like,
everybody.

I hear stories about my aunts and
uncles. I never hear stories about her.

She was the best.

Your mother was a sweet little girl. I
remember the time she was about four

years old. She said, Mommy, I made your
room sparkling clean. That's all you

did. Let me go see. And there was
glitter all over the place. Really?

So if I'm so good, why can't I meet
somebody good as me, Mom?

Because there's nobody out there. If you
continue to seek your equal, you're

going to be single forever.

Do you think I should be out dating?

No. Don't think about that.

You've got a whole life ahead of you.

It's like my new project is me.

I made it through the holidays by
myself.

You're never going to be by yourself.

You have us. You'll always have family.

I remember how upset you were when you
got divorced.

Yeah. But you got back on your feet,
just like you're doing now. Raised your

kids. Yeah. That's it. And you and Frank
have a beautiful relationship now. We

get along better than most people.

That are married. That are married get
along better. When I refer to him, I

always say my son -in -law. Yeah, I know
a lot of people might think that's

strange, but that's the way it is. He's
good to my daughter, and he's good to

the kids.

I don't think there's another woman that
he would ever call Mom.

Well, he still calls me Mom, that's
true.

I've been single for now 17 years, but
the only people that really recognized

that Frank and I were divorced was the
state of New Jersey.

Maybe that's why I'm single at this
point.

It's about that time. Mom, I've got to
get you home, okay? Oh, yeah?

The party's over?

I would say yes.

Oh, that's nice.

Oh my gosh, it looks amazing.

Yeah, this is great.

Are you my designated driver?

Yes, I'm your designated driver. Thank
you.

Because they have really good sangria.
Wow.

That looks pretty hot. Yeah. This is
going to be so weird.

You and me and Teresa haven't been
together since your house. In a couple

You did the relay races in the yard.

First pick of the Loretta Manziel Field
Day. I'm going with Dolores.

It's kind of cool. It is. It's nice.

This is it. The day of reckoning.

I have a napkin in my hand.

I'm really not thinking about that
because I'm really worried about myself.

I am so far out of my comfort zone to
have my friends do this for me. Just

normal. And I'm being forced to wear
red. You mean not black?

Not a muumuu? Flick it. Your body.

And since we're not eating for three
months.

I love the red roses. I think she's
going to love it.

All leopard out like you're a Jersey
girl.

I haven't worn this much leopard since
1996.

If this isn't Jersey, I don't know what
is.

Oh, this is beautiful.

We want all the salt removed, just blow
sauce, and it makes us... I mean, I'm

wearing three Spanx now. I can't afford
to put on another one, okay?

We can still have fun as old broad.

The brown actually is in the... Works
out perfect. And then the pop of red is

the flowers.

Wow. You did it.

Hi! How are you?

Look around. Tell me what you think.
Yeah, it looks great.

Kathy!

Hello!

How are you, babe?

How are you doing?

Happy New Year.

Hi. Happy New Year. Thank you.

The last time I saw Kathy, I was really
angry.

How do you feel that your niece pleaded
guilty to fraud?

When you don't do the right thing, Rich,
it always gets up with you.

I don't like anybody talking about my
legal matters.

But obviously, we're all here at
Dolores' birthday party. And that's why

want to go to that dark place.

Look at Rosie's outfit.

Oh, you look amazing.

Happy New Year to you. Hi, honey.

Dolores, welcome to your party.

You know, Dolores and I go way back.
She's an amazing woman.

Thank you so much.

To true friendship, to new friendship.

So happy birthday. You deserve all the
health and happiness in the world.

I'm just going to roll with it.

I don't like my birthday. I don't like
attention.

But I am feeling so blessed.

Thank you so much, Leopard Woman. All my
beautiful friends went the extra mile

to make me feel like... This is what I
deserve.

Where are you sitting?

I'm right here.

Sit over here. What the f***?

It's fine.

That's what I hate.

It's fine.

I'm really good.

I'm not going to let you even think
about it. You know what I mean? It's

I'm good. I'm angry.

You know what I mean? I'm good.

Just enjoy it.

You know?

It's the first time I'm seeing Teresa.

I'm not going to push myself on
somebody, you know?

I don't think she even hates me. I think
she just...

Doesn't want to be bothered Coming

up next we would touch each other any
touching to

other no I would pack

Next week, I'm having like a small
little opening party, maybe like 50

for my boutique. So I want you guys to
all come. Oh, my god. I've been waiting.

OK, excuse me, everybody.

Who has a funny story about Dolores?
Raise your hand. I do.

Melissa.

When Melissa's telling the story, Kathy
and Rosie are going to act it out. OK.

OK, so once upon a time, there was a
little boy.

This little boy had an older sister.

Rosie, you're the older sister. And the
older sister had a lot of hot friends.

And the little boy used to get woodies
all the time.

I know she's jealous of me. What can I
say?

We're telling stories that necessarily
have to do with Dolores.

Like, you know, it's not a Dolores
story, but I want Dolores and Jacqueline

act it out.

All right, so I was at this

college dorm.

You know, it was all women.

And we would laugh, tell jokes.

We would touch each other.

Do you do any touching to others? No, I
was touched.

What kind of touch?

Massaging. Massaging each other.

And what other kind?

What kind of dorm is this? I mean, some
girls would masturbate. So then one

night I was sleeping and all of a sudden
I smelled something.

It smelled like this.

And then I look over.

Girls are going down.

Maybe people feel awkward asking me that
when I was away, but I want people to

feel comfortable Why not tell them a
fish story?

I

made

sure the next night I put earplugs in
and I just kept the blanket over my head

God bless them. It's good to laugh and
release those endorphins and Saratogans.

Wait, Saratonin. I'm out of here!

To each his own. I was like, God bless.

If I work out really hard, I still feel
fresh as a daisy. That's why the girls

can't stay away from you.

Wait, I forgot one part. Come over here.
A lot of girls are kissing.

What? Oh my God, we can't do that. Just
lick your face.

She'd always make me laugh.

Wait, who's Lucy and who's Ethel? I'm
Lucy. Curly hair. Is Lucy, like, the

redhead? Yeah.

Lucy and Ethel. How does it, like, do
you guys feel? Like, that's it. No more

arguing. You'll be friends forever.

We're getting reacquainted.

You guys, too.

No, us two. Well, but she's my family. I
have no choice.

Well, see, I was trying not to say that.

Yeah, no choice. But it says a lot about
your relationship because you don't

have to be friends. Yeah, we've been
through a lot of milestones together.

Yeah. Yeah. Pregnancies, births. Like,
when I went to go see her the other day,

I felt like... It was back to normal. It
just felt like normal again. It felt

sincere. It felt good. I'm glad I gave
off that vibe. Yeah. No, because that's

exactly how I was feeling. You know
what? It's a new year.

Everything's new.

New beginnings.

That's a theme. Yeah, new beginnings.
And the best is yet to come.

I cannot remember the last time that
Teresa, Jacqueline, and I were all in a

room together and really enjoying each
other. It's been a while.

Things are changing in Jersey.

I want you to all know that this was not
the best year of my life, and every

single one of you guys were here for me.
This time next year, you will be with

the man of your dreams.

All right. Yeah.

Happy birthday to you. Oh, my God. Look
at my kid.

Your drunk wife.

Joe, bottom line, your sister's
terrible.

She's my designated driver because I had
a couple of sangrias. A couple?

I just had two sangrias. I love drunk
Melissa.

Ziggy, how many calories in that
champagne?

Why do you know how many calories? First
of all, I'm the zig. That's how I know.

The zig. You keep saying zig.

Oh, it's big. Big.

Got big?

I can't wait to meet your husband. Is he
loud or is he quiet?

Look at me.

He is a man on every level.

And for the first time in my life, I'm
having orgasms. I never did with my ex.

I don't like anything like that. Oh, my
God. Wait a minute. Some girl from camp.

Camp.

Camp.

God bless Teresa Giudice.

She said... Wait, do you girls squirt?

Do you girls squirt?

No, but your brother told me about
squirters, and I get appalled.

Don't tell me you're a squirt. I don't
want to know. Is it something I can

practice on myself?

Oh, my God. Yes. Yes.

I'm going to practice.

Yes.

They did it nice in there, right? Really
nice. They look cute.

Bye, lady. If I fall on my feet... Bye.

Oh, my God. How do we do this? Your car
has that, like, new smell car.

You're definitely had too much to drink.

I smell a new car.

Don't hit that limo behind you.

You're a horrible driver.

No, horrible. You're, like, slurring.

What? What happened? What happened? I'll
kill that pavement. What happened?

That's why I carry these slippers. Wait
a second. What? What am I, stupid?

What am I, stupid?

No, yeah.

Sorry, girls, because I can now carry.
Did you bring enough for the rest of the

class? No. Here.

Big. I can't believe you got this car.
This is insane.

I'm going to call my brother and let him
know how much you drank.

What about your damn squirter story?

Maybe he'll make you squirt.

I'm not a squirter.

Hello. Hi.

Hi, Joe.

Can you hear me?

It's your drunk wife.

Joe, bottom line, your sister's
terrible.

Dolores, are you putting on your
seatbelt? I'll tell you what I am going

That's what I'm going to do. You're not
putting your eyelashes on?

They itch me. Every time you guys see
Melissa, just hand her a drink. Oh, my

God. Your sister drives like... No, I
don't. I'm a fun drunk. I'm my own

animal. I'm wearing red shoes. I become
Melissa Mother...

Terrible. Terrible. Now I heard about
it. I didn't learn about it.

Melissa Gorga's cool.

But Melissa mother Gorga. Oh my God.

Bye Felicia.

Don't run my dog over.

Hi Nico.

I got it. I got it.

Look at my dog.

I got it.

Watch your step.

Wait. I'm totally fine. Okay. You got
it?

Next time on The Real Housewives of New
Jersey.

Envy by Melissa Gorka.

80 % of small businesses fail. It's been
very, very difficult to pay our bills.

There's all these, like, cowboys.

If you cheated on me, no forgiving. You
know that, right?

To learn more about The Real Housewives,
go to bravotv .com.