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1
00:01:07,162 --> 00:01:09,507
Taking a whole bunch
of pictures all at one time
2
00:01:09,531 --> 00:01:11,342
made me so nervous,
and this busy town!
3
00:01:11,366 --> 00:01:12,911
I'm just too
excited to be tired.
4
00:01:12,935 --> 00:01:15,046
Really, Jolene, I
don't know where
5
00:01:15,070 --> 00:01:16,681
you get your energy from.
6
00:01:16,705 --> 00:01:17,715
I wish I had it.
7
00:01:17,739 --> 00:01:18,850
I feel so bushed.
8
00:01:18,874 --> 00:01:20,117
Well, good night, honey.
9
00:01:20,141 --> 00:01:22,008
Good night.
10
00:01:26,247 --> 00:01:28,247
Next one's mine.
11
00:02:38,520 --> 00:02:40,286
Coming.
12
00:02:55,637 --> 00:03:00,584
You flew all the way from
Iowa just because of a spider?
13
00:03:00,608 --> 00:03:02,820
I had to. That girl!
14
00:03:02,844 --> 00:03:05,456
It didn't matter to her that
the spider was harmless.
15
00:03:05,480 --> 00:03:07,358
Why should she
care that she started
16
00:03:07,382 --> 00:03:09,027
a panic among the
other contestants?
17
00:03:09,051 --> 00:03:11,029
Are you certain the
spider was harmless?
18
00:03:11,053 --> 00:03:13,464
Of course it was...
I stomped on it.
19
00:03:13,488 --> 00:03:16,333
But was it harmless
before you stomped on it?
20
00:03:16,357 --> 00:03:17,735
How should I
know? I wasn't going
21
00:03:17,759 --> 00:03:19,336
to let it bite me to find out.
22
00:03:19,360 --> 00:03:21,338
If you would just settle
down a little, Mr. Pawl
23
00:03:21,362 --> 00:03:23,141
it would make it easier
for us to understand
24
00:03:23,165 --> 00:03:24,341
what you're trying to tell us.
25
00:03:24,365 --> 00:03:26,144
It's easy for you to
say "settle down."
26
00:03:26,168 --> 00:03:28,846
You didn't have to work a
year organizing the greatest
27
00:03:28,870 --> 00:03:30,481
beauty pageant
the world has seen.
28
00:03:30,505 --> 00:03:33,718
You didn't have to watch
67 gorgeous contestants
29
00:03:33,742 --> 00:03:36,587
melt away, frightened off.
30
00:03:36,611 --> 00:03:39,057
The girls are dropping
out right and left.
31
00:03:39,081 --> 00:03:42,060
Someone is out to ruin
the pageant, to destroy
32
00:03:42,084 --> 00:03:43,728
a national institution.
33
00:03:43,752 --> 00:03:46,263
You've got to help us.
34
00:03:46,287 --> 00:03:49,567
To quote Barbara, "Nobody...
35
00:03:49,591 --> 00:03:52,603
no, nobody should
rain on our parade."
36
00:03:52,627 --> 00:03:55,272
Uh-huh.
37
00:03:55,296 --> 00:03:58,375
Well, we will
discuss it, Mr. Pawl
38
00:03:58,399 --> 00:04:00,144
and then we will be in touch.
39
00:04:00,168 --> 00:04:01,278
Well, please act quickly.
40
00:04:01,302 --> 00:04:02,714
The pageant starts tomorrow
41
00:04:02,738 --> 00:04:04,648
and we've only
got nine girls left.
42
00:04:04,672 --> 00:04:05,783
In plain language, Mr. Bosley,
43
00:04:05,807 --> 00:04:07,418
the clock is ticking.
44
00:04:07,442 --> 00:04:09,987
Uh, yes, we understand.
45
00:04:10,011 --> 00:04:12,489
Goodbye, Mr. Pawl.
46
00:04:12,513 --> 00:04:15,659
Bye.
47
00:04:15,683 --> 00:04:17,595
Somehow, I never quite thought
48
00:04:17,619 --> 00:04:20,264
of the Miss Chrysanthemum
Festival Pageant
49
00:04:20,288 --> 00:04:22,066
as a national institution.
50
00:04:22,090 --> 00:04:23,935
Well, how can
you say that, Bree?
51
00:04:23,959 --> 00:04:27,772
It's the stepping stone
to the Miss Prunes title.
52
00:04:27,796 --> 00:04:30,341
Yes, and from there,
well, the sky's the limit.
53
00:04:30,365 --> 00:04:34,178
Uh, were you serious about
having taken the case, Charlie?
54
00:04:34,202 --> 00:04:35,579
A tarantula
55
00:04:35,603 --> 00:04:38,149
intentionally placed on the
pillow of a young woman?
56
00:04:38,173 --> 00:04:39,951
Now, if that young woman had had
57
00:04:39,975 --> 00:04:41,919
a weak heart, she'd be dead
58
00:04:41,943 --> 00:04:43,788
and someone would have
gotten away with murder.
59
00:04:43,812 --> 00:04:45,923
I suggest you get
your acts together
60
00:04:45,947 --> 00:04:47,458
and head for the pageant.
61
00:04:47,482 --> 00:04:50,895
Oh, by the way may
the best woman win.
62
00:04:50,919 --> 00:04:52,529
What? Wait a minute, Charlie.
63
00:04:52,553 --> 00:04:55,900
You don't mean that we
have to play contestants?
64
00:04:55,924 --> 00:04:57,201
At least two of you should.
65
00:04:57,225 --> 00:04:59,203
That's where most
of the trouble hits.
66
00:04:59,227 --> 00:05:01,572
Uh, you two better get a
couple of extra bathing suits
67
00:05:01,596 --> 00:05:03,641
and of course, a pair
of high heel shoes.
68
00:05:03,665 --> 00:05:05,176
No, no, no. Wait a minute. No.
69
00:05:05,200 --> 00:05:08,246
No. I'm not going to
be a beauty contestant.
70
00:05:08,270 --> 00:05:12,516
You might flip a
coin... odd Angel out.
71
00:05:12,540 --> 00:05:14,618
Oh, boy. Well, that sounds fair.
72
00:05:15,643 --> 00:05:16,620
Okay.
73
00:05:16,644 --> 00:05:17,877
Here we go. One...
74
00:05:18,446 --> 00:05:21,781
two... three.
75
00:05:24,052 --> 00:05:25,396
Heads.
76
00:05:25,420 --> 00:05:28,532
Tails.
77
00:05:28,556 --> 00:05:30,802
Heads.
78
00:05:34,196 --> 00:05:35,239
It's not funny.
79
00:05:35,263 --> 00:05:37,341
What is that sound, Charlie?
80
00:05:37,365 --> 00:05:39,877
I'm working with a
physical therapist, Kelly.
81
00:05:39,901 --> 00:05:42,180
Oh, not feeling well, Charlie?
82
00:05:42,204 --> 00:05:43,881
Oh, nothing like that.
83
00:05:43,905 --> 00:05:46,873
Just learning a little
about the pectoralis major.
84
00:05:48,944 --> 00:05:51,122
Kris, Bos and I are
going to meet Ben Pawl
85
00:05:51,146 --> 00:05:52,957
and some of the contestants.
86
00:05:52,981 --> 00:05:54,158
Why don't you grab a bikini
87
00:05:54,182 --> 00:05:55,659
and help us set up our cover?
88
00:05:55,683 --> 00:05:57,328
Okay. I'll check
into my room later.
89
00:05:57,352 --> 00:05:58,762
I'll see you at the hotel...
90
00:05:58,786 --> 00:06:00,866
I've got an interview
in a half an hour.
91
00:06:08,897 --> 00:06:11,175
And what are your
future plans, dear?
92
00:06:11,199 --> 00:06:15,446
Well, I hope to
study brain surgery.
93
00:06:15,470 --> 00:06:18,649
Uh, what would cause
a young lady like yourself
94
00:06:18,673 --> 00:06:20,784
to chose, uh, that profession?
95
00:06:20,808 --> 00:06:24,788
Well, it-it seems to me
that unless the young people
96
00:06:24,812 --> 00:06:26,790
take up the
challenge of the future
97
00:06:26,814 --> 00:06:28,692
we can't move the world forward.
98
00:06:28,716 --> 00:06:30,694
The greatest
challenge I can think of
99
00:06:30,718 --> 00:06:32,529
is brain surgery.
100
00:06:32,553 --> 00:06:35,132
Then you give up
the dancing, ya?
101
00:06:35,156 --> 00:06:39,503
Oh, no. Dancing's a great
form of exercise and a lot of fun.
102
00:06:39,527 --> 00:06:43,307
I'm going to keep up my
dancing no matter what.
103
00:06:43,331 --> 00:06:46,410
And also, working at
the polls on election day.
104
00:06:46,434 --> 00:06:49,247
I feel that we should
all stay healthy
105
00:06:49,271 --> 00:06:51,615
and politically aware.
106
00:06:51,639 --> 00:06:55,853
That's good. Don't
never give up the dancing.
107
00:06:55,877 --> 00:06:56,988
You know, when last year
108
00:06:57,012 --> 00:07:00,124
I was the queen from
this Chrys-trumums
109
00:07:00,148 --> 00:07:01,292
I was dancing.
110
00:07:01,316 --> 00:07:06,063
You know, I give
up it, the dancing
111
00:07:06,087 --> 00:07:07,064
and fat comes on me.
112
00:07:07,088 --> 00:07:09,833
Six pounds in one month.
113
00:07:09,857 --> 00:07:12,836
I want you to know
it's-it's a great privilege
114
00:07:12,860 --> 00:07:16,540
to be given advice by the
retiring Miss Chrysanthemum.
115
00:07:16,564 --> 00:07:17,909
Thank you.
116
00:07:19,200 --> 00:07:21,946
I won't forget that
if I'm lucky enough
117
00:07:21,970 --> 00:07:23,869
to be awarded this title.
118
00:07:50,698 --> 00:07:52,076
This your house, Mr. Pawl?
119
00:07:52,100 --> 00:07:54,678
No, it was loaned to us by
Mr. Cree, one of our judges
120
00:07:54,702 --> 00:07:57,248
so the girls could relax
while they rehearse our show.
121
00:07:57,272 --> 00:07:58,782
Huh.
122
00:07:58,806 --> 00:08:03,187
Say, I was wondering, since
you're private eyes under cover
123
00:08:03,211 --> 00:08:04,555
I thought you'd use cover names.
124
00:08:04,579 --> 00:08:06,623
Uh, no, no, no.
Just Bosley, Sabrina.
125
00:08:06,647 --> 00:08:07,724
That'll be fine.
126
00:08:07,748 --> 00:08:09,160
And you haven't any
assignment for me?
127
00:08:09,184 --> 00:08:11,562
Someone to put
a tail on? Nothing?
128
00:08:11,586 --> 00:08:12,763
Uh, look, I'll tell you what.
129
00:08:12,787 --> 00:08:14,231
Now, it's dangerous
130
00:08:14,255 --> 00:08:15,366
but maybe you can help us.
131
00:08:15,390 --> 00:08:17,401
You think he can handle it?
132
00:08:17,425 --> 00:08:20,304
I don't know, boss lady. Maybe.
133
00:08:20,328 --> 00:08:22,006
You know karate, Mr. Pawl?
134
00:08:22,030 --> 00:08:23,407
Uh, no.
135
00:08:23,431 --> 00:08:25,776
That's good. We don't want
dead heroes on our hands,
136
00:08:25,800 --> 00:08:26,777
you know what I mean?
137
00:08:26,801 --> 00:08:28,579
Okay, here's your assignment.
138
00:08:28,603 --> 00:08:32,984
Now, from now on,
you'll be known as Big X.
139
00:08:33,008 --> 00:08:35,052
From this point on... Big X.
140
00:08:35,076 --> 00:08:36,153
Now, you just go about
141
00:08:36,177 --> 00:08:37,554
the pageant routine normally
142
00:08:37,578 --> 00:08:40,524
unless one of us gives you
the code word Beau Geste.
143
00:08:40,548 --> 00:08:41,692
Beau Geste... you got that?
144
00:08:41,716 --> 00:08:42,960
Beau Geste.
145
00:08:42,984 --> 00:08:44,561
If you hear that,
go to the phone
146
00:08:44,585 --> 00:08:45,562
you call information.
147
00:08:45,586 --> 00:08:47,431
Now, the operator
that answers you
148
00:08:47,455 --> 00:08:51,435
you ask her for the
service repair number.
149
00:08:51,459 --> 00:08:54,605
That operator will
be one of our people.
150
00:08:54,629 --> 00:08:56,107
They'll know what to do.
151
00:08:56,131 --> 00:08:57,308
You got it?
152
00:08:57,332 --> 00:08:58,409
Yeah. I'm Big X.
153
00:08:58,433 --> 00:09:00,177
Shh!
154
00:09:00,201 --> 00:09:02,946
Code word: Beau Geste.
155
00:09:02,970 --> 00:09:04,415
I call information,
156
00:09:04,439 --> 00:09:06,917
and I ask your operative
for the repair service number.
157
00:09:06,941 --> 00:09:09,820
From this moment on
158
00:09:09,844 --> 00:09:11,622
you make no mention
of your instructions.
159
00:09:11,646 --> 00:09:12,823
Oh, I understand.
160
00:09:12,847 --> 00:09:14,058
You better, pigeon,
161
00:09:14,082 --> 00:09:16,215
because you're into
this up to your neck.
162
00:09:17,452 --> 00:09:19,963
Okay, let's get this
show on the road.
163
00:09:19,987 --> 00:09:21,598
Let's get this shot.
164
00:09:21,622 --> 00:09:23,000
The first thing I'd like to get
165
00:09:23,024 --> 00:09:24,668
is a big close-up, full screen.
166
00:09:24,692 --> 00:09:26,404
This isn't for real, is it?
167
00:09:26,428 --> 00:09:28,005
I mean, this isn't
really going to be
168
00:09:28,029 --> 00:09:29,407
on a network
television news show?
169
00:09:29,431 --> 00:09:31,208
Oh, uh, you bet it is, Mr. Pawl.
170
00:09:31,232 --> 00:09:33,344
You see, uh, we're
private detectives.
171
00:09:33,368 --> 00:09:36,047
We got to pick up a
dollar here, a dollar there.
172
00:09:36,071 --> 00:09:37,381
Every little bit helps.
173
00:09:37,405 --> 00:09:39,016
Okay, you ready?
You ready, Mr. Bosley?
174
00:09:39,040 --> 00:09:41,618
Right. And roll 'em!
175
00:09:41,642 --> 00:09:42,986
Hi there.
176
00:09:43,010 --> 00:09:45,489
Welcome to the Miss
Chrysanthemum Festival Pageant.
177
00:09:45,513 --> 00:09:47,558
Cut! Print! Perfect!
178
00:09:47,582 --> 00:09:48,792
Thanks.
179
00:09:48,816 --> 00:09:50,327
Mr. Pawl?
180
00:09:50,351 --> 00:09:51,562
Excuse me.
181
00:09:51,586 --> 00:09:52,663
Mm-hmm.
182
00:09:54,155 --> 00:09:56,867
Do you think that'll
keep him out of our hair?
183
00:09:56,891 --> 00:09:58,035
Yeah, I think so.
184
00:09:58,059 --> 00:09:59,836
That coupled with pointing
this camera at his face
185
00:09:59,860 --> 00:10:01,004
from time to time.
186
00:10:01,028 --> 00:10:03,340
Well, let's see... A.H. and V.G.
187
00:10:03,364 --> 00:10:04,375
Right.
188
00:10:04,399 --> 00:10:05,842
Okay, girls
189
00:10:05,866 --> 00:10:07,878
let's try it with the
words this time.
190
00:10:07,902 --> 00:10:12,116
One, two, three, four...
191
00:10:12,140 --> 00:10:13,484
♪ Hi there! Hello! ♪
192
00:10:13,508 --> 00:10:15,619
♪ We're glad That
you could show ♪
193
00:10:15,643 --> 00:10:19,590
♪ For the Chrysanthemum
Festival Pageant ♪
194
00:10:19,614 --> 00:10:22,859
♪ From far and near
We girls came here ♪
195
00:10:22,883 --> 00:10:29,133
♪ To try to be queen
Of your pageant ♪
196
00:10:29,157 --> 00:10:30,401
♪ Hi there! Hello! ♪
197
00:10:30,425 --> 00:10:32,836
♪ We're glad That
you could show ♪
198
00:10:32,860 --> 00:10:37,341
♪ For the Chrysanthemum
Festival Pageant ♪
199
00:10:37,365 --> 00:10:40,277
♪ Who will be queen
When you are all seen ♪
200
00:10:40,301 --> 00:10:42,746
♪ At the Chrysanthemum ♪
201
00:10:42,770 --> 00:10:44,615
♪ Festival Pageant ♪
202
00:10:44,639 --> 00:10:50,087
♪ The Chrysanthemum
Festival Pageant ♪♪
203
00:10:50,111 --> 00:10:51,455
Bravo!
204
00:10:51,479 --> 00:10:52,856
Great, girls.
205
00:10:52,880 --> 00:10:55,326
Listen, ladies,
we're all going to be
206
00:10:55,350 --> 00:10:57,094
on a network television
news program.
207
00:10:58,853 --> 00:11:01,132
Mr. Bosley, he's the
one with the camera,
208
00:11:01,156 --> 00:11:03,100
and Sabrina,
she's the boss lady,
209
00:11:03,124 --> 00:11:04,401
are making a documentary.
210
00:11:04,425 --> 00:11:05,969
So when the camera's rolling,
211
00:11:05,993 --> 00:11:08,639
let's give them all the
sparkle and sincerity
212
00:11:08,663 --> 00:11:10,841
you want all your friends
and relatives at home to see.
213
00:11:10,865 --> 00:11:11,842
Right, boss lady?
214
00:11:11,866 --> 00:11:13,744
Oh, right. That's right.
215
00:11:13,768 --> 00:11:15,045
And this is my
arranger, conductor
216
00:11:15,069 --> 00:11:17,448
and all-around man
Friday. Say hello to Henry.
217
00:11:17,472 --> 00:11:19,283
Hi Henry. My pleasure.
218
00:11:19,307 --> 00:11:22,019
Let me introduce the
contestants to you.
219
00:11:22,043 --> 00:11:23,521
This young lady
is here from Texas.
220
00:11:23,545 --> 00:11:25,322
Billie Jolene. Howdy.
221
00:11:25,346 --> 00:11:26,423
Hello.
222
00:11:26,447 --> 00:11:28,192
And Debbie from London, England.
223
00:11:28,216 --> 00:11:29,593
Hello. Hello.
224
00:11:29,617 --> 00:11:31,128
Grace Cooley, California Miss.
225
00:11:31,152 --> 00:11:32,129
Hi.
226
00:11:32,153 --> 00:11:34,298
Holly from the Empire
State of New York.
227
00:11:34,322 --> 00:11:35,633
Hi.
228
00:11:35,657 --> 00:11:37,768
And one of our late entrants
229
00:11:37,792 --> 00:11:40,204
that I haven't even met
yet. And who are you?
230
00:11:40,228 --> 00:11:42,473
Hi. I'm Kris, and I'm
from Macon, Georgia.
231
00:11:42,497 --> 00:11:44,308
How far is that
from Plains, Kris?
232
00:11:44,332 --> 00:11:46,610
Oh, gosh, I don't really know.
233
00:11:46,634 --> 00:11:49,413
This is the first time I've
ever been outside of Macon.
234
00:11:49,437 --> 00:11:50,447
This is really exciting.
235
00:11:50,471 --> 00:11:51,848
Okay, now, we'd like to get
236
00:11:51,872 --> 00:11:54,173
a little informal rehearsal
around the piano.
237
00:11:57,111 --> 00:12:00,846
Just too far away to
see her good, Hubie.
238
00:12:08,089 --> 00:12:11,101
And as the girls are
around the piano...
239
00:12:11,125 --> 00:12:13,359
Big smile, big smile.
240
00:13:14,989 --> 00:13:17,000
How close did you
say the shot came?
241
00:13:17,024 --> 00:13:19,102
Okay, it was about
three feet to my left
242
00:13:19,126 --> 00:13:20,937
and about four
feet in front of me.
243
00:13:20,961 --> 00:13:22,072
Maybe you're right
244
00:13:22,096 --> 00:13:23,874
and they really
weren't trying to hit you.
245
00:13:23,898 --> 00:13:26,176
No, no, considering how
many more bad shots there are
246
00:13:26,200 --> 00:13:28,245
in this world than good,
I wouldn't bet on that.
247
00:13:28,269 --> 00:13:29,380
I don't know.
248
00:13:29,404 --> 00:13:31,782
They were moving right
after the shot was fired.
249
00:13:31,806 --> 00:13:33,917
And they were way
back from the roof's edge
250
00:13:33,941 --> 00:13:35,552
by the time I got to my window.
251
00:13:35,576 --> 00:13:37,588
Now, if they wanted to hit me
252
00:13:37,612 --> 00:13:40,090
why didn't they wait to fire
again in case they missed?
253
00:13:40,114 --> 00:13:42,326
I mean, they didn't
know I had a gun.
254
00:13:42,350 --> 00:13:43,761
Which, I suspect,
puts us right back
255
00:13:43,785 --> 00:13:45,562
where we started from.
256
00:13:45,586 --> 00:13:47,665
That's about right, Bosley.
257
00:13:47,689 --> 00:13:51,268
And I don't care if there's
only one contestant left.
258
00:13:51,292 --> 00:13:52,336
The show must go on.
259
00:13:52,360 --> 00:13:54,605
There has to be a
Miss Chrysanthemum.
260
00:13:54,629 --> 00:13:55,906
Why?
261
00:13:55,930 --> 00:13:58,309
Young girls, sir,
262
00:13:58,333 --> 00:14:03,113
grow up dreaming of
this moment in their lives.
263
00:14:03,137 --> 00:14:05,582
They dedicate themselves.
264
00:14:05,606 --> 00:14:06,784
We've already
spent all the money
265
00:14:06,808 --> 00:14:09,453
that the sponsors have put up.
266
00:14:09,477 --> 00:14:12,356
Good point, Si.
267
00:14:12,380 --> 00:14:15,125
Then we all agree.
We'll tell the audience
268
00:14:15,149 --> 00:14:18,395
that the preliminary judging
was held in the morning,
269
00:14:18,419 --> 00:14:20,597
so that we could give more
time to the eleven contestants
270
00:14:20,621 --> 00:14:22,499
who are left who
are our semi-finalists,
271
00:14:22,523 --> 00:14:26,002
That's your department, Ben,
you handle it anyway you like.
272
00:14:26,026 --> 00:14:30,140
Oh, if you want, I can sing
my winning aria from last year,
273
00:14:30,164 --> 00:14:33,176
you remember, from
Wagner, you know
274
00:14:33,200 --> 00:14:35,680
when I wear the
hat with the horns.
275
00:14:42,577 --> 00:14:46,690
♪ For the Chrysanthemum
Festival Pageant ♪
276
00:14:46,714 --> 00:14:51,528
♪ From far and near
We girls came here ♪
277
00:14:51,552 --> 00:14:55,532
♪ To try and be queen
Of your pageant ♪
278
00:14:55,556 --> 00:14:58,369
♪ Hi there! Hello! ♪
279
00:14:58,393 --> 00:14:59,970
♪ We're glad that
you could show ♪
280
00:14:59,994 --> 00:15:04,074
♪ For the Chrysanthemum
Festival Pageant ♪
281
00:15:04,098 --> 00:15:06,510
♪ Who will be queen ♪
282
00:15:06,534 --> 00:15:08,245
♪ When you are all seen ♪
283
00:15:08,269 --> 00:15:13,283
♪ At the Chrysanthemum
Festival Pageant ♪
284
00:15:13,307 --> 00:15:17,643
♪ The Chrysanthemum
Festival Pageant ♪♪
285
00:15:19,747 --> 00:15:22,426
All right, let's
try it from, uh...
286
00:15:22,450 --> 00:15:24,060
after the crisscross, all right?
287
00:15:24,084 --> 00:15:27,998
Form a straight line.
288
00:15:28,022 --> 00:15:30,701
Good. Ready,
now left foot first.
289
00:15:30,725 --> 00:15:32,235
Hit it, Henry.
290
00:15:32,259 --> 00:15:34,070
Five, six, seven, eight...
291
00:15:35,830 --> 00:15:38,008
♪ Hi there! Hello! ♪
Smile, girls.
292
00:15:38,032 --> 00:15:39,610
♪ We're glad that
You could show ♪
293
00:15:39,634 --> 00:15:40,811
Good.
294
00:15:40,835 --> 00:15:42,245
♪ For the Chrysanthemum
Festival Pageant ♪
295
00:15:42,269 --> 00:15:45,582
Sing out! sing out!
296
00:15:45,606 --> 00:15:48,919
♪ From far and near,
We girls came here ♪
297
00:15:48,943 --> 00:15:53,524
♪ To try to be queen
Of your pageant ♪
298
00:15:53,548 --> 00:15:56,593
♪ Hi there! Hello! ♪
299
00:16:06,393 --> 00:16:07,393
It's cut.
300
00:16:24,078 --> 00:16:25,889
I'll check the exit, Bosley.
301
00:16:33,153 --> 00:16:35,031
All right!
302
00:16:35,055 --> 00:16:36,633
Bosley!
303
00:16:36,657 --> 00:16:39,235
What are you doing
with Kris' pigeons?
304
00:16:39,259 --> 00:16:40,571
Kris' pigeons?
305
00:16:40,595 --> 00:16:43,340
Oh... yeah, they're
for a magic act.
306
00:16:43,364 --> 00:16:46,443
Why were they
skulking in that closet?
307
00:16:46,467 --> 00:16:48,378
They were not skulking, Bosley.
308
00:16:48,402 --> 00:16:49,980
Pigeons can't skulk.
309
00:16:50,004 --> 00:16:51,147
Well, these can.
310
00:16:51,171 --> 00:16:52,483
They were skulking in there.
311
00:16:52,507 --> 00:16:54,117
They are skulking pigeons.
312
00:16:54,141 --> 00:16:55,886
Ooh!
313
00:16:55,910 --> 00:16:57,220
Uh, Bosley?
314
00:16:57,244 --> 00:16:58,254
Yes?
315
00:16:58,278 --> 00:17:00,090
Do you suppose that sandbag
316
00:17:00,114 --> 00:17:02,125
was supposed to hurt
somebody or scare somebody?
317
00:17:02,149 --> 00:17:04,260
I don't know, I don't
know, but either way
318
00:17:04,284 --> 00:17:06,396
sooner or later, somebody
is going to get hurt.
319
00:17:06,420 --> 00:17:11,969
Well, a 50-pound sandbag or
a rifle doesn't hurt anybody...
320
00:17:11,993 --> 00:17:14,104
It kills them.
321
00:17:14,128 --> 00:17:17,029
You explain to Kris how
you let her pigeons out.
322
00:17:20,601 --> 00:17:22,501
Oh, I'll get it.
323
00:17:24,705 --> 00:17:26,249
Hello? Oh, sure.
324
00:17:26,273 --> 00:17:29,909
For you the telephone,
Herr Dearborn.
325
00:17:36,784 --> 00:17:38,829
This is Si Dearborn.
326
00:17:38,853 --> 00:17:41,331
This here is the money man.
327
00:17:41,355 --> 00:17:44,100
You made up your mind
about the proposition yet?
328
00:17:44,124 --> 00:17:45,903
Is that your best offer?
329
00:17:45,927 --> 00:17:47,871
You know, Mr. Dearborn,
330
00:17:47,895 --> 00:17:52,843
for a man whose fried clam
franchises is going to the dogs
331
00:17:52,867 --> 00:17:57,748
for the want of some cold
cash, you sure do dance a lot.
332
00:17:57,772 --> 00:17:59,482
Is it yes or no?
333
00:17:59,506 --> 00:18:01,952
All right, it's a deal.
334
00:18:01,976 --> 00:18:03,709
Go to the men's room.
335
00:18:23,430 --> 00:18:24,407
Enjoy the money...
336
00:18:24,431 --> 00:18:28,511
and don't let us
down, Mr. Dearborn.
337
00:18:28,535 --> 00:18:30,502
I won't.
338
00:18:33,440 --> 00:18:36,219
I believe in modesty just
as much as the next girl,
339
00:18:36,243 --> 00:18:39,456
but this is not exactly
the 1940's, and besides,
340
00:18:39,480 --> 00:18:42,659
all the girls got the
lace off their dresses.
341
00:18:42,683 --> 00:18:44,895
If we didn't we'd look like...
342
00:18:44,919 --> 00:18:47,497
I don't know what
we'd look like.
343
00:18:47,521 --> 00:18:49,700
Honey, you don't
wanna wear that color.
344
00:18:49,724 --> 00:18:52,102
Oh, I kind of like it.
345
00:18:52,126 --> 00:18:53,503
Yeah? Well, so do I.
346
00:18:53,527 --> 00:18:55,472
That's why you're
not going to wear it.
347
00:18:55,496 --> 00:18:57,040
Why don't you try the green?
348
00:18:57,064 --> 00:18:59,442
I don't think so.
349
00:18:59,466 --> 00:19:01,444
Well, try any color you want,
350
00:19:01,468 --> 00:19:03,080
except my apricot.
351
00:19:03,104 --> 00:19:06,750
I mean, you're free
to choose the apricot,
352
00:19:06,774 --> 00:19:09,653
if you want, but I
wouldn't be surprised
353
00:19:09,677 --> 00:19:11,955
if the seams just... came
apart while you were on stage.
354
00:19:11,979 --> 00:19:15,125
Things like that happen all
the time in beauty pageants.
355
00:19:15,149 --> 00:19:17,349
So embarrassing!
356
00:19:27,895 --> 00:19:29,039
Ah, hello, there.
357
00:19:29,063 --> 00:19:30,073
Hello.
358
00:19:30,097 --> 00:19:31,474
Fred Olsen here.
359
00:19:31,498 --> 00:19:33,510
You're the photographer,
and you're the boss, right?
360
00:19:33,534 --> 00:19:34,678
Well, thank you, I guess.
361
00:19:34,702 --> 00:19:36,279
What do you think
of my little girl?
362
00:19:36,303 --> 00:19:37,580
Uh, which little girl?
363
00:19:37,604 --> 00:19:39,415
Well, she's not my little girl.
364
00:19:39,439 --> 00:19:41,417
She's my number one
client, Grace Cooley.
365
00:19:41,441 --> 00:19:44,054
Just a minute, she's
right here. Grace?
366
00:19:44,078 --> 00:19:45,856
She called me and
told me you were here
367
00:19:45,880 --> 00:19:47,858
and here I am to help
out wherever I can.
368
00:19:47,882 --> 00:19:48,959
Oh, sure, sure.
369
00:19:48,983 --> 00:19:49,960
Hi.
370
00:19:49,984 --> 00:19:51,695
Hi. Hello.
371
00:19:51,719 --> 00:19:52,896
Is that the next
Miss Chrysanthemum
372
00:19:52,920 --> 00:19:55,198
or is that the next
Miss Chrysanthemum?
373
00:19:55,222 --> 00:19:57,634
Well, uh, she's very pretty.
374
00:19:57,658 --> 00:19:59,069
She's going to win.
375
00:19:59,093 --> 00:20:02,673
Now, what I'm willing to
do is give you an exclusive.
376
00:20:02,697 --> 00:20:04,541
You key your film on Grace
377
00:20:04,565 --> 00:20:05,542
then when she wins
378
00:20:05,566 --> 00:20:07,177
you scoop the whole TV world.
379
00:20:07,201 --> 00:20:08,311
How does that grab you?
380
00:20:08,335 --> 00:20:14,517
We will give that
some... serious thought.
381
00:20:14,541 --> 00:20:16,452
What? So, nothing ventured,
nothing gained, right?
382
00:20:16,476 --> 00:20:18,855
I mean, like, we set it up
with charm, we're ahead, right?
383
00:20:18,879 --> 00:20:20,123
Yes.
384
00:20:20,147 --> 00:20:21,725
All right, look, let's
talk a little money.
385
00:20:21,749 --> 00:20:25,228
You key on Gracie,
there's 50 bucks in it for you.
386
00:20:25,252 --> 00:20:26,797
50 bucks?
387
00:20:26,821 --> 00:20:28,699
What do you care
who you feature, right?
388
00:20:28,723 --> 00:20:30,055
Wrong, Fred.
389
00:20:34,795 --> 00:20:35,806
When I'm on top
390
00:20:35,830 --> 00:20:37,741
and you come to me for a favor
391
00:20:37,765 --> 00:20:39,943
you know what you'll get?
392
00:20:39,967 --> 00:20:43,080
Bupkis is what you'll get!
393
00:20:43,104 --> 00:20:45,337
Watch... bupkis!
394
00:21:11,999 --> 00:21:14,144
Howdy, ma'am.
395
00:21:14,168 --> 00:21:16,802
Wonder if we might have
a minute of your time?
396
00:21:24,711 --> 00:21:26,623
I most certainly will not.
397
00:21:26,647 --> 00:21:28,792
Not for a million dollars.
398
00:21:51,438 --> 00:21:52,515
She's gone.
399
00:21:52,539 --> 00:21:53,683
She's disappeared.
400
00:21:53,707 --> 00:21:54,785
She's been snatched.
401
00:21:54,809 --> 00:21:56,052
What makes you so sure?
402
00:21:56,076 --> 00:21:59,122
Millicent Farber
never misses a meal.
403
00:21:59,146 --> 00:22:00,924
Isn't this the time for
someone to give me
404
00:22:00,948 --> 00:22:01,925
the Beau Geste signal, boss?
405
00:22:01,949 --> 00:22:04,261
Not yet, Ben, no, no.
406
00:22:04,285 --> 00:22:05,762
My nerves can take it.
407
00:22:05,786 --> 00:22:08,198
I've already contacted
another judge
408
00:22:08,222 --> 00:22:11,067
to replace Millicent,
Hazel Spaulding.
409
00:22:11,091 --> 00:22:12,903
She's flying in tonight.
410
00:22:12,927 --> 00:22:14,537
She's judged here before.
411
00:22:14,561 --> 00:22:16,706
Hi, Mr. Bosley.
412
00:22:16,730 --> 00:22:19,142
Hi, Mr. Pawl.
413
00:22:19,166 --> 00:22:20,643
Hi, girls.
414
00:22:20,667 --> 00:22:21,978
Hi, Grace.
415
00:22:22,002 --> 00:22:23,980
Bye, Grace.
416
00:22:24,004 --> 00:22:25,916
I met that kid's agent.
417
00:22:25,940 --> 00:22:29,219
He says she's from
a really poor family.
418
00:22:29,243 --> 00:22:31,554
Breaks your heart.
419
00:22:31,578 --> 00:22:34,624
Oh, yeah, it really does.
420
00:22:34,648 --> 00:22:36,592
I'll be leaving for
the opening festivities
421
00:22:36,616 --> 00:22:37,961
in about half an hour.
422
00:22:37,985 --> 00:22:40,252
The pageant rises
when the sun sets.
423
00:22:44,491 --> 00:22:48,771
You think something really did
happen to that judge, Millicent?
424
00:22:48,795 --> 00:22:50,506
Well, there's a,
there's a chance.
425
00:22:50,530 --> 00:22:52,008
But I don't know.
426
00:22:52,032 --> 00:22:53,176
It doesn't fit the pattern.
427
00:22:53,200 --> 00:22:54,610
Up till now, everything
428
00:22:54,634 --> 00:22:56,213
has been done to
scare off the contestants.
429
00:22:56,237 --> 00:22:58,081
Well, all we can do
is stay on our toes
430
00:22:58,105 --> 00:23:00,217
and hope for a break.
431
00:23:00,241 --> 00:23:02,752
I'll take the camera and
set up in front of the stage.
432
00:23:02,776 --> 00:23:04,754
Okay, well, Kelly and
I are going to be pretty
433
00:23:04,778 --> 00:23:05,788
tied up with the pageant.
434
00:23:05,812 --> 00:23:07,224
Maybe Bree ought to
help us out backstage.
435
00:23:07,248 --> 00:23:08,225
I don't think so.
436
00:23:08,249 --> 00:23:09,960
I think I ought to
cover the airport,
437
00:23:09,984 --> 00:23:11,394
cover the new judge.
438
00:23:11,418 --> 00:23:14,397
I mean, if somebody
did kidnap Millicent
439
00:23:14,421 --> 00:23:16,299
they might try to grab
the new judge too.
440
00:23:16,323 --> 00:23:17,667
Well, that makes as much sense
441
00:23:17,691 --> 00:23:19,202
as anything else
that's happened.
442
00:23:19,226 --> 00:23:21,004
If you'll excuse me,
443
00:23:21,028 --> 00:23:22,438
I have to rehearse my
introductory speech.
444
00:23:22,462 --> 00:23:23,539
See you later.
445
00:23:23,563 --> 00:23:28,778
Yeah... Oh, oh,
listen, I do too.
446
00:23:28,802 --> 00:23:30,446
I-I'll see you later.
447
00:23:30,470 --> 00:23:33,083
You know they
really do want to win.
448
00:23:33,107 --> 00:23:37,542
It, uh... It looks that way.
449
00:23:41,448 --> 00:23:44,194
We ain't asking for
the moon, ma'am.
450
00:23:44,218 --> 00:23:47,730
I am worth upwards of six
million dollars, young man,
451
00:23:47,754 --> 00:23:48,965
but if I were penniless
452
00:23:48,989 --> 00:23:51,323
I wouldn't sell my vote.
453
00:24:03,003 --> 00:24:04,381
Help!
454
00:24:04,405 --> 00:24:06,316
Help!
455
00:24:06,340 --> 00:24:08,540
Please, ma'am,
don't be doing that.
456
00:24:14,248 --> 00:24:15,525
Hey, Hube.
457
00:24:15,549 --> 00:24:18,061
Them pageant people
got a new judge coming in
458
00:24:18,085 --> 00:24:19,495
to replace the old biddy here.
459
00:24:19,519 --> 00:24:20,964
Guess who it is?
460
00:24:20,988 --> 00:24:23,499
You think we ought to be talking
about that with her listening?
461
00:24:23,523 --> 00:24:25,568
I mean, she's got us
by the short hairs already
462
00:24:25,592 --> 00:24:26,769
if she talks to the law.
463
00:24:26,793 --> 00:24:28,738
Hmm... True, true.
464
00:24:28,762 --> 00:24:30,762
Come here.
465
00:24:35,035 --> 00:24:37,180
Now, you know the
name of that lady judge
466
00:24:37,204 --> 00:24:39,582
that they is counting
on being here, but wasn't
467
00:24:39,606 --> 00:24:43,954
because they decided to use last
year's queen as a judge instead?
468
00:24:43,978 --> 00:24:45,055
Hazel Spaulding.
469
00:24:45,079 --> 00:24:46,923
That's who's coming, buddy.
470
00:24:46,947 --> 00:24:49,492
Well, we got it made
in the shade, old boy.
471
00:24:49,516 --> 00:24:51,328
Except for that
old biddy in there.
472
00:24:51,352 --> 00:24:53,229
No sweat.
473
00:24:53,253 --> 00:24:55,631
When we call
C.J., and tell him...
474
00:24:56,923 --> 00:24:58,001
What was that?
475
00:24:58,025 --> 00:25:00,306
The old biddy
fell off her barrel.
476
00:25:04,098 --> 00:25:05,908
When we call C.J. and tell him
477
00:25:05,932 --> 00:25:08,678
how we got everything
took care of down here
478
00:25:08,702 --> 00:25:10,280
he's going to be so owing to us
479
00:25:10,304 --> 00:25:12,449
that he'll just start handing
480
00:25:12,473 --> 00:25:15,151
her money and just
keep on handing it to her
481
00:25:15,175 --> 00:25:16,586
till she can't say no.
482
00:25:16,610 --> 00:25:19,089
She says she's already
worth six million, Earl.
483
00:25:19,113 --> 00:25:21,491
Oh, well, that could
be a problem, I reckon.
484
00:25:21,515 --> 00:25:24,527
But hey, let's just take
this thing one boot at a time.
485
00:25:24,551 --> 00:25:26,129
And the first thing we got to do
486
00:25:26,153 --> 00:25:27,663
is go see that new judge
487
00:25:27,687 --> 00:25:29,332
and get that all squared away.
488
00:25:29,356 --> 00:25:30,967
So, let's be moving, partner.
489
00:25:30,991 --> 00:25:33,836
Shouldn't one of us stay
here and watch the old biddy?
490
00:25:33,860 --> 00:25:37,673
Well, now, did you ever
hear of anybody or anything
491
00:25:37,697 --> 00:25:39,609
getting loose from
a rope that I tied
492
00:25:39,633 --> 00:25:41,044
if I didn't want them to?
493
00:25:41,068 --> 00:25:42,345
Never once, Earl.
494
00:25:42,369 --> 00:25:44,889
All right, then, let's go, pard.
495
00:25:58,752 --> 00:26:00,596
Ladies and gentlemen
496
00:26:00,620 --> 00:26:02,098
flight 411 just arrived.
497
00:26:02,122 --> 00:26:03,400
Connections for Iowa City...
498
00:26:03,424 --> 00:26:04,967
Miss Spaulding?
499
00:26:04,991 --> 00:26:06,736
Husker Junction
and Beansborough.
500
00:26:06,760 --> 00:26:07,937
Get your luggage ready, please.
501
00:26:07,961 --> 00:26:09,801
You're Hazel Spaulding, right?
502
00:26:10,164 --> 00:26:11,508
Yes.
503
00:26:11,532 --> 00:26:13,809
How would you like to
make $2000 cash money?
504
00:26:13,833 --> 00:26:15,478
We'd like to buy
your first place vote
505
00:26:15,502 --> 00:26:16,612
in that beauty contest, ma'am.
506
00:26:16,636 --> 00:26:17,613
For $2000.
507
00:26:17,637 --> 00:26:19,815
If you don't, uh,
508
00:26:19,839 --> 00:26:21,418
we're going to have
to tell your husband
509
00:26:21,442 --> 00:26:23,353
about you and that
Mr. Pawl, that emcee fella.
510
00:26:23,377 --> 00:26:24,887
About how him and you, uh...
511
00:26:24,911 --> 00:26:29,825
Well, about them private
all-night singing lessons
512
00:26:29,849 --> 00:26:31,027
you and him give each other
513
00:26:31,051 --> 00:26:32,228
every time you come down here
514
00:26:32,252 --> 00:26:33,396
to judge one of
them beauty contests.
515
00:26:33,420 --> 00:26:34,931
We'll do it too, ma'am.
516
00:26:34,955 --> 00:26:38,134
Take the money, ma'am.
517
00:26:38,158 --> 00:26:39,358
You've got a deal.
518
00:27:06,987 --> 00:27:08,698
Ladies and gentlemen...
519
00:27:08,722 --> 00:27:10,032
to personally greet you
520
00:27:10,056 --> 00:27:13,836
Freebairn's own
Chrysanthemum Festival girls.
521
00:27:13,860 --> 00:27:15,037
Hi, there.
522
00:27:15,061 --> 00:27:16,038
Hi, there.
523
00:27:16,062 --> 00:27:17,507
Hi, there.
524
00:27:17,531 --> 00:27:19,075
Hi, there.
525
00:27:19,099 --> 00:27:21,377
Hi, there.
526
00:27:21,401 --> 00:27:22,467
Hi, there.
527
00:27:23,803 --> 00:27:25,381
Hi, there.
528
00:27:25,405 --> 00:27:26,916
Hi, there.
529
00:27:26,940 --> 00:27:28,818
Hi, there.
530
00:27:28,842 --> 00:27:31,053
Hi, there.
531
00:27:31,077 --> 00:27:33,089
Hi, there.
532
00:27:33,113 --> 00:27:34,113
Hello!
533
00:27:36,283 --> 00:27:37,827
♪ Hi, there hello ♪
534
00:27:37,851 --> 00:27:40,497
♪ We're glad That
you could show ♪
535
00:27:40,521 --> 00:27:43,899
♪ For the Chrysanthemum
Festival Pageant ♪
536
00:27:43,923 --> 00:27:46,035
♪ From far and near ♪
537
00:27:46,059 --> 00:27:48,704
♪ We girls came here ♪
538
00:27:48,728 --> 00:27:52,142
♪ To try to be Queen
of your pageant ♪
539
00:27:52,166 --> 00:27:54,177
♪ Hi there, hello ♪
540
00:27:54,201 --> 00:27:57,647
♪ We're glad That
you could show ♪
541
00:27:57,671 --> 00:28:01,117
♪ For the Chrysanthemum
Festival Pageant ♪
542
00:28:01,141 --> 00:28:05,188
♪ Who will be queen
When you're all seen ♪
543
00:28:05,212 --> 00:28:09,725
♪ At the Chrysanthemum
Festival Pageant ♪
544
00:28:09,749 --> 00:28:14,697
♪ The Chrysanthemum
Festival Pageant ♪♪
545
00:28:20,360 --> 00:28:22,805
And here they are!
546
00:28:22,829 --> 00:28:25,007
Our bevy of loveliness!
547
00:28:25,031 --> 00:28:27,910
Our first semi-finalist
is Miss Kris Munroe.
548
00:28:27,934 --> 00:28:29,279
Kris is from the home state
549
00:28:29,303 --> 00:28:31,347
of our president,
Mr. Jimmy Carter
550
00:28:31,371 --> 00:28:33,650
Miss Lillian's baby
boy, God bless him.
551
00:28:33,674 --> 00:28:35,351
Kris is from Macon, Georgia,
552
00:28:35,375 --> 00:28:37,920
a true belle of the old south.
553
00:28:37,944 --> 00:28:39,222
Her big dream is
554
00:28:39,246 --> 00:28:42,225
to become our queen, Miss
Chrysanthemum Festival
555
00:28:42,249 --> 00:28:44,494
and then go on to help mankind.
556
00:28:44,518 --> 00:28:46,429
Hi, y'all.
557
00:28:48,322 --> 00:28:51,467
Let's start off this
most important interview
558
00:28:51,491 --> 00:28:53,002
with an easy question, Kris.
559
00:28:53,026 --> 00:28:55,905
What's your favorite
color, and why?
560
00:28:55,929 --> 00:28:57,640
Well, actually, Mr. Pawl...
561
00:28:57,664 --> 00:28:59,342
I have more than
one favorite color.
562
00:28:59,366 --> 00:29:01,678
Well, that's all
right with us, Kris.
563
00:29:01,702 --> 00:29:03,179
Right, ladies and gentlemen?
564
00:29:08,808 --> 00:29:13,022
My favorite colors
are red, white and blue
565
00:29:13,046 --> 00:29:15,980
because they are the
colors of our flag of freedom.
566
00:29:23,257 --> 00:29:26,636
Here's our next
semi-finalist, Miss California...
567
00:29:26,660 --> 00:29:27,660
Grace Cooley.
568
00:29:32,832 --> 00:29:35,278
Here's your first
question, Grace.
569
00:29:35,302 --> 00:29:36,846
What is your favorite color...?
570
00:29:36,870 --> 00:29:38,748
And why?
571
00:29:38,772 --> 00:29:42,418
Well, I was going to
say red, white and blue
572
00:29:42,442 --> 00:29:44,153
but somebody already said it.
573
00:30:16,109 --> 00:30:17,553
Yeah, C.J.
574
00:30:17,577 --> 00:30:21,324
and the both of them is
going to vote her numero uno.
575
00:30:21,348 --> 00:30:24,160
Well, now that you've
done it. I'm going to tell you
576
00:30:24,184 --> 00:30:26,596
just how much my baby
girl winning that contest
577
00:30:26,620 --> 00:30:28,097
means to me.
578
00:30:28,121 --> 00:30:32,468
As a daddy, I am
plain damn proud.
579
00:30:32,492 --> 00:30:35,738
As a businessman,
I got stockholders.
580
00:30:35,762 --> 00:30:37,540
But ain't none of
them going to argue
581
00:30:37,564 --> 00:30:39,575
that a beauty queen
ain't the one to do
582
00:30:39,599 --> 00:30:42,144
our TV pink grapefruit
commercials now.
583
00:30:42,168 --> 00:30:43,713
And you two good old boys
584
00:30:43,737 --> 00:30:46,115
will find a big, fat thank you
585
00:30:46,139 --> 00:30:48,351
in your envelope come payday.
586
00:30:48,375 --> 00:30:50,219
Best tell him about
the old biddy now.
587
00:30:50,243 --> 00:30:51,688
Couldn't hear that. What?
588
00:30:51,712 --> 00:30:54,990
Uh, that was Hubie
talking to me, C.J.
589
00:30:55,014 --> 00:30:57,860
Uh, C.J., we got a
little problem here.
590
00:30:57,884 --> 00:31:00,095
Well, what kind of
little problem, Earl?
591
00:31:00,119 --> 00:31:02,198
Well, sir, it seems
that we kind of...
592
00:31:02,222 --> 00:31:05,201
Well... We kind of
kidnapped an old lady.
593
00:31:05,225 --> 00:31:06,336
You what?
594
00:31:06,360 --> 00:31:07,970
She was a judge, C.J., and...
595
00:31:07,994 --> 00:31:09,806
Well, she wouldn't take
the money we offered her.
596
00:31:09,830 --> 00:31:12,508
And then she started yelling
and hollering and carrying on.
597
00:31:12,532 --> 00:31:13,609
We didn't know what to do
598
00:31:13,633 --> 00:31:15,211
so we took her out
to an old warehouse.
599
00:31:15,235 --> 00:31:17,213
She ain't hurt none.
600
00:31:17,237 --> 00:31:18,514
You two got less sense
601
00:31:18,538 --> 00:31:20,717
than a hound dog trying
to catch him a skunk.
602
00:31:20,741 --> 00:31:22,518
That's maybe a life
sentence in a federal prison.
603
00:31:22,542 --> 00:31:23,886
Do you know that?
604
00:31:23,910 --> 00:31:27,890
I am going to tell you
all I'm ever going to...
605
00:31:27,914 --> 00:31:29,158
Listen good.
606
00:31:29,182 --> 00:31:32,795
Now you two cut that lady
loose, and you go grab yourself
607
00:31:32,819 --> 00:31:35,064
a jet plane to
Europe or someplace
608
00:31:35,088 --> 00:31:38,000
and when you light,
you write me a letter,
609
00:31:38,024 --> 00:31:41,337
and I'll send you each
$50,000 and good riddance.
610
00:31:41,361 --> 00:31:43,281
I don't know you
no more, you hear?
611
00:31:47,501 --> 00:31:55,501
♪ As I walked out in
The streets of Laredo ♪
612
00:31:56,009 --> 00:32:02,859
♪ As I walked out
In Laredo one day ♪
613
00:32:02,883 --> 00:32:07,897
♪ I spied a poor cowboy
614
00:32:07,921 --> 00:32:12,001
♪ Wrapped up in white linen ♪
615
00:32:12,025 --> 00:32:19,575
♪ Wrapped up in white
linen As cold as the clay ♪
616
00:32:19,599 --> 00:32:27,599
♪ Oh, beat the drum slowly
And play the fife lowly ♪
617
00:32:28,341 --> 00:32:36,341
♪ And play the dead march
As you carry me along ♪
618
00:32:36,716 --> 00:32:43,866
♪ Take me to a green valley
Then lay the sod over me ♪
619
00:32:43,890 --> 00:32:49,806
♪ For I'm a young cowboy
620
00:32:49,830 --> 00:32:51,674
♪ I know I done wrong ♪
621
00:32:54,100 --> 00:33:00,883
♪ For I'm a young cowboy ♪
622
00:33:00,907 --> 00:33:07,445
♪ I know I done wrong ♪♪
623
00:33:38,812 --> 00:33:41,958
I know the feel of this
car like my own hide.
624
00:33:41,982 --> 00:33:44,460
And I know there's
maybe 110 pounds
625
00:33:44,484 --> 00:33:46,395
more in the trunk
than there should be.
626
00:33:47,721 --> 00:33:50,287
Best show yourself.
627
00:34:08,841 --> 00:34:09,818
Our next semifinalist
628
00:34:09,842 --> 00:34:12,377
is Miss Kelly Garrett.
629
00:34:14,447 --> 00:34:17,293
Kelly had a warm and deeply
moving reaction to a friend
630
00:34:17,317 --> 00:34:19,462
who injured an
ankle while skiing.
631
00:34:19,486 --> 00:34:21,130
Tell us about it, Kelly.
632
00:34:21,154 --> 00:34:26,435
Well... from that moment on
633
00:34:26,459 --> 00:34:29,572
I... I knew what
we should all do
634
00:34:29,596 --> 00:34:33,409
is help one another
to realize that
635
00:34:33,433 --> 00:34:35,711
well, we should realize that
636
00:34:35,735 --> 00:34:39,448
no man or woman is an island.
637
00:34:39,472 --> 00:34:41,717
That we should never ask
638
00:34:41,741 --> 00:34:43,419
for whom the bell tolls...
639
00:34:43,443 --> 00:34:45,421
that we're all one
640
00:34:45,445 --> 00:34:47,856
and we need each others' support
641
00:34:47,880 --> 00:34:49,758
to be truly happy.
642
00:34:49,782 --> 00:34:52,295
No, we should not ask
for whom the bell tolls.
643
00:34:52,319 --> 00:34:55,864
When one man is lost
or woman is injured,
644
00:34:55,888 --> 00:34:58,334
be it friend or stranger,
645
00:34:58,358 --> 00:35:02,471
when the bell tolls,
it tolls for all of us.
646
00:35:09,302 --> 00:35:12,114
Now, lady,
647
00:35:12,138 --> 00:35:14,917
what have you done
in the trunk of our car?
648
00:35:14,941 --> 00:35:16,485
Well, I'm a TV reporter,
649
00:35:16,509 --> 00:35:18,688
and I was looking for a story.
650
00:35:18,712 --> 00:35:20,155
About what?
651
00:35:20,179 --> 00:35:24,460
About the scaring
off of the contestants
652
00:35:24,484 --> 00:35:27,885
in the Miss Chrysanthemum
Pageant and the...
653
00:35:31,491 --> 00:35:34,637
bribing of the... judges.
654
00:35:34,661 --> 00:35:37,573
Hey, Ul, she knows
what we've been doing.
655
00:35:37,597 --> 00:35:40,175
Yeah, she does, don't she?
656
00:35:40,199 --> 00:35:43,713
Think we ought to put
the hush-up on her, Hube?
657
00:35:43,737 --> 00:35:46,949
If you think I'm the
least bit frightened
658
00:35:46,973 --> 00:35:48,817
by all this, you
are sadly mistaken.
659
00:35:48,841 --> 00:35:49,818
Miss Farber...
660
00:35:49,842 --> 00:35:51,487
Hey, Ul, you ain't considering
661
00:35:51,511 --> 00:35:53,822
blowing your head off?
662
00:35:53,846 --> 00:35:55,991
No, just thinking.
663
00:35:56,015 --> 00:35:58,994
Are you going to shoot her, Ul?
664
00:35:59,018 --> 00:36:01,552
Maybe.
665
00:36:04,557 --> 00:36:06,502
Listen, old biddy.
666
00:36:06,526 --> 00:36:08,638
Things ain't going the
way they're supposed to,
667
00:36:08,662 --> 00:36:11,240
so we're going to change
our plans right here and now.
668
00:36:11,264 --> 00:36:14,343
You say you got
six million dollars?
669
00:36:14,367 --> 00:36:16,312
Well, if you want to stay alive,
670
00:36:16,336 --> 00:36:18,981
you better give us the name
of somebody we can call
671
00:36:19,005 --> 00:36:21,484
we'll let them buy you
back from us for, say...
672
00:36:21,508 --> 00:36:24,320
two million of your six.
673
00:36:24,344 --> 00:36:25,554
You won't even miss that.
674
00:36:25,578 --> 00:36:26,555
That's a good idea, Ul!
675
00:36:26,579 --> 00:36:29,292
We got the name
let's play the game.
676
00:36:29,316 --> 00:36:30,760
Hell, pard, we're
going to get rich!
677
00:36:30,784 --> 00:36:33,929
All right, now, ma'am,
who do we call?
678
00:36:33,953 --> 00:36:35,831
Nobody.
679
00:36:35,855 --> 00:36:37,132
What do you mean, nobody?
680
00:36:37,156 --> 00:36:40,369
I'm a widow and nobody
can authorize the bank
681
00:36:40,393 --> 00:36:42,571
to pay out money
for me but me...
682
00:36:42,595 --> 00:36:44,173
and I won't.
683
00:36:44,197 --> 00:36:46,275
Well, it might just
mean your life,
684
00:36:46,299 --> 00:36:49,133
old biddy, and this
sneaky-nosed TV lady too.
685
00:36:55,675 --> 00:36:58,020
And now, from New
York, Miss Holly Blaise
686
00:36:58,044 --> 00:37:00,556
to give us a special rendition
of that famous soliloquy
687
00:37:00,580 --> 00:37:01,990
from The Merchant of Venice
688
00:37:02,014 --> 00:37:03,934
delivered in her
own special way.
689
00:37:05,918 --> 00:37:10,187
The quality of
mercy is not strained.
690
00:37:11,825 --> 00:37:18,629
It droppeth as the
gentle rain from heaven.
691
00:37:22,635 --> 00:37:23,746
You reckon anybody would pay
692
00:37:23,770 --> 00:37:25,381
anything for that TV lady?
693
00:37:25,405 --> 00:37:26,849
She's the boss.
694
00:37:26,873 --> 00:37:29,017
She's got to be worth
something to somebody.
695
00:37:29,041 --> 00:37:30,619
Hey, TV lady,
696
00:37:30,643 --> 00:37:34,890
who'd pay to buy
you back from us?
697
00:37:34,914 --> 00:37:36,058
Well, uh,
698
00:37:36,082 --> 00:37:37,993
my photographer might
be able to arrange it
699
00:37:38,017 --> 00:37:40,896
but, um, not just for me.
700
00:37:40,920 --> 00:37:44,367
It would have to
be for both of us.
701
00:37:44,391 --> 00:37:45,568
Of course.
702
00:37:45,592 --> 00:37:48,637
Don't make no sense
just shooting one of you.
703
00:37:48,661 --> 00:37:49,638
Right.
704
00:37:49,662 --> 00:37:52,040
All we want is a bunch of money
705
00:37:52,064 --> 00:37:53,743
and a chance to disappear.
706
00:37:53,767 --> 00:37:58,814
You go to him and
you say, "Beau Geste."
707
00:37:58,838 --> 00:38:00,315
Then you tell him what you want.
708
00:38:00,339 --> 00:38:03,051
He'll probably
want to talk to me
709
00:38:03,075 --> 00:38:04,754
before he pays over any money.
710
00:38:04,778 --> 00:38:06,589
You don't trust
us, do you, lady?
711
00:38:06,613 --> 00:38:07,890
Not very much.
712
00:38:07,914 --> 00:38:10,325
What is this here, "Beau Geste",
713
00:38:10,349 --> 00:38:13,095
is that some kind of
Morse code or something?
714
00:38:13,119 --> 00:38:15,931
If you say "Beau Geste"
715
00:38:15,955 --> 00:38:20,469
then he'll know that
I was safe and sound
716
00:38:20,493 --> 00:38:22,905
when I gave you the code word.
717
00:38:22,929 --> 00:38:24,239
Make sense, Ul?
718
00:38:24,263 --> 00:38:26,074
Hell, I don't know.
719
00:38:26,098 --> 00:38:29,612
These TV people got all kinds of
720
00:38:29,636 --> 00:38:30,780
strange things going.
721
00:38:30,804 --> 00:38:32,180
Let's tie their
hands behind them
722
00:38:32,204 --> 00:38:33,348
and get out of here.
723
00:38:33,372 --> 00:38:35,940
Now, I haven't
finished my sandwich.
724
00:38:40,847 --> 00:38:43,258
And now, that lovely wizard
725
00:38:43,282 --> 00:38:45,193
from Macon, Georgia
726
00:38:45,217 --> 00:38:47,062
with her own brand
of southern magic,
727
00:38:47,086 --> 00:38:49,432
Miss Kris Munroe.
728
00:40:15,508 --> 00:40:17,352
Now, wait a minute. What?
729
00:40:17,376 --> 00:40:19,054
I'll get over there to you.
730
00:40:19,078 --> 00:40:21,189
You just stay right
where you are.
731
00:40:21,213 --> 00:40:22,925
Oh, that's very smart.
732
00:40:22,949 --> 00:40:26,428
Now, we'll just see if we can...
733
00:40:26,452 --> 00:40:28,597
Watch your hands,
there, Miss Farber.
734
00:40:28,621 --> 00:40:29,598
What's that?
735
00:40:29,622 --> 00:40:31,299
Thank you, okay. Uh-huh.
736
00:40:31,323 --> 00:40:34,703
And now, ladies and gentlemen,
but mostly you gentlemen,
737
00:40:34,727 --> 00:40:37,105
you ain't never seen sultry
738
00:40:37,129 --> 00:40:40,197
until you've seen
Miss Kelly Garrett!
739
00:41:58,344 --> 00:42:03,714
♪ Are there any words of
praise Could not allude ♪
740
00:42:05,852 --> 00:42:11,834
♪ To such a wealth Of
feminine pulchritude? ♪
741
00:42:11,858 --> 00:42:14,269
♪ Rosy cheeks ♪
742
00:42:14,293 --> 00:42:16,038
♪ Lustrous hair ♪
743
00:42:16,062 --> 00:42:20,175
♪ Aren't they angels
Heaven shares? ♪
744
00:42:20,199 --> 00:42:23,178
♪ Da Vinci's art
Could not surpass ♪
745
00:42:23,202 --> 00:42:27,950
♪ The smile of any lovely lass ♪
746
00:42:27,974 --> 00:42:35,257
♪ Could Shakespeare
rhapsodize The virtue in their eyes ♪
747
00:42:35,281 --> 00:42:42,264
♪ As we hear them
each Loftily moralize ♪
748
00:42:42,288 --> 00:42:50,238
♪ Beethoven could not
capture The rapture that unfurls ♪
749
00:42:50,262 --> 00:42:57,980
♪ From our Chrysanthemum
Festival girls ♪
750
00:42:58,004 --> 00:43:06,004
♪ From our Chrysanthemum
Festival girls ♪♪
751
00:43:11,250 --> 00:43:14,362
Now, to help present
this year's crown,
752
00:43:14,386 --> 00:43:16,165
last year's queen,
Miss Candy Welsh!
753
00:43:16,189 --> 00:43:19,434
And now, the moment
we've all been waiting for.
754
00:43:19,458 --> 00:43:21,737
The moment when
we learn the answer
755
00:43:21,761 --> 00:43:23,238
to that magic question,
756
00:43:23,262 --> 00:43:26,408
who will be the next
Miss Chrysanthemum?
757
00:43:26,432 --> 00:43:27,642
I'm really nervous and excited,
758
00:43:27,666 --> 00:43:29,967
and I know the girls are.
759
00:43:32,671 --> 00:43:34,482
Our fourth runner-up...
760
00:43:34,506 --> 00:43:37,886
and winner of a new
Walsingham dirt motorcycle,
761
00:43:37,910 --> 00:43:42,524
our fourth runner up
is... Debbie Dowlan!
762
00:43:44,884 --> 00:43:46,895
Beau Geste.
763
00:43:46,919 --> 00:43:48,130
What did you say?
764
00:43:48,154 --> 00:43:49,631
The man said, Beau Geste.
765
00:43:49,655 --> 00:43:51,934
Who told you to tell me that?
766
00:43:51,958 --> 00:43:54,669
The lady what works
with you. She's kidnapped.
767
00:43:54,693 --> 00:43:56,271
And we want a
million dollars for her.
768
00:43:56,295 --> 00:43:57,272
Right.
769
00:43:57,296 --> 00:43:59,808
And an all-expense-paid
weekend...
770
00:43:59,832 --> 00:44:00,931
Beau Geste!
771
00:44:05,704 --> 00:44:08,384
Be right back,
ladies and gentlemen.
772
00:44:18,317 --> 00:44:19,449
Whoa!
773
00:44:46,378 --> 00:44:48,490
I made the phone
call, Mr. Bosley.
774
00:44:48,514 --> 00:44:51,059
All right, we owe you a dime.
775
00:44:51,083 --> 00:44:54,763
And now, ladies and
gentlemen, where were we?
776
00:44:54,787 --> 00:44:58,600
Oh, yes, our
third semifinalist...
777
00:44:58,624 --> 00:45:02,570
Okay, Mrs. Farber, I
got my second wind.
778
00:45:02,594 --> 00:45:05,073
And we're going to try it again.
779
00:45:05,097 --> 00:45:07,943
Only this time,
please don't help me.
780
00:45:07,967 --> 00:45:12,547
Oh, well, I'll try. No, don't.
781
00:45:12,571 --> 00:45:14,449
Oh, boy, am I ever
glad to see you!
782
00:45:14,473 --> 00:45:16,885
I thought the next thing that
was going to happen to me
783
00:45:16,909 --> 00:45:18,253
I was gonna know
what it felt like
784
00:45:18,277 --> 00:45:19,688
to get shot with a .357 magnum!
785
00:45:19,712 --> 00:45:22,490
That hurts. How'd you find us?
786
00:45:22,514 --> 00:45:25,660
Our southern fried chicken
boys sang like nightingales.
787
00:45:25,684 --> 00:45:28,931
Oh dear, now look, we've got
to get right over to the pageant.
788
00:45:28,955 --> 00:45:30,866
They bribed two of the judges.
789
00:45:30,890 --> 00:45:32,167
I told you, Kelly.
790
00:45:32,191 --> 00:45:33,635
The pageant is
over, Mrs. Farber.
791
00:45:33,659 --> 00:45:35,304
Oh, really?
792
00:45:35,328 --> 00:45:37,639
Oh, well, who won?
793
00:45:37,663 --> 00:45:39,374
A girl named Billie Jolene.
794
00:45:39,398 --> 00:45:42,410
She sang and played the
guitar to "The Streets of Laredo."
795
00:45:42,434 --> 00:45:45,513
She's the one that
they wanted to win!
796
00:45:45,537 --> 00:45:48,583
Her father paid those two
men to see that she won.
797
00:45:48,607 --> 00:45:51,753
We know, Mrs. Farber,
and the Texas authorities
798
00:45:51,777 --> 00:45:53,755
will be paying her
father a little visit.
799
00:45:53,779 --> 00:45:56,024
She's been disqualified.
800
00:45:56,048 --> 00:45:58,360
Who was the first runner-up?
801
00:45:58,384 --> 00:46:00,028
Holly.
802
00:46:00,052 --> 00:46:03,332
The girl who twirled the
baton and recited Shakespeare.
803
00:46:03,356 --> 00:46:05,033
Oh.
804
00:46:05,057 --> 00:46:06,902
You was robbed.
805
00:46:06,926 --> 00:46:08,959
Mm-hmm.
806
00:46:20,406 --> 00:46:22,818
And neither one of you
was even named runner-up?
807
00:46:22,842 --> 00:46:24,185
Zip.
808
00:46:24,209 --> 00:46:26,054
To quote an agent
we met, Charlie,
809
00:46:26,078 --> 00:46:28,122
bupkis is what we got.
810
00:46:28,146 --> 00:46:30,892
I thought you might have
already told them, Bosley?
811
00:46:30,916 --> 00:46:31,926
No, no, no, Charlie,
812
00:46:31,950 --> 00:46:33,962
you're the one who arranged it
813
00:46:33,986 --> 00:46:35,731
and I thought you
should tell them.
814
00:46:35,755 --> 00:46:37,165
What did you arrange, Charlie?
815
00:46:37,189 --> 00:46:38,600
Ben Pawl told the judges
816
00:46:38,624 --> 00:46:40,369
you weren't really contestants.
817
00:46:40,393 --> 00:46:41,703
That you were professionals
818
00:46:41,727 --> 00:46:44,473
brought in to fill out
the depleted pageant.
819
00:46:44,497 --> 00:46:47,642
The judges were not
allowed to vote for you.
820
00:46:47,666 --> 00:46:49,277
Oh, no, after I
learned that speech
821
00:46:49,301 --> 00:46:51,079
and smiled till my face hurt?
822
00:46:51,103 --> 00:46:57,285
And I paid $37 for a brand-new
pair of white, tacky shoes.
823
00:46:57,309 --> 00:46:58,720
I don't think you'd better walk
824
00:46:58,744 --> 00:47:00,255
down any dark alleys, Charlie.
825
00:47:00,279 --> 00:47:02,357
You bought yourself
some trouble here.
826
00:47:02,381 --> 00:47:05,026
Not half as much as
I'd have bought myself
827
00:47:05,050 --> 00:47:07,429
if one of you Angels had won.
828
00:47:07,453 --> 00:47:09,598
What would I have
said to the loser?
829
00:47:09,622 --> 00:47:11,666
Well, which one would have won?
830
00:47:11,690 --> 00:47:13,968
She would have. She would have.
831
00:47:13,992 --> 00:47:15,804
I'm glad I was only kidnapped.
832
00:47:17,129 --> 00:47:20,308
That sound again, Charlie.
Is your therapist there again?
833
00:47:20,332 --> 00:47:23,612
Oh, yes, and still hard at work
834
00:47:23,636 --> 00:47:25,876
showing me the upper
body development exercises.
835
00:47:27,873 --> 00:47:29,651
What about the
lower body, Charlie?
836
00:47:29,675 --> 00:47:30,886
Well, actually,
there doesn't seem
837
00:47:30,910 --> 00:47:32,342
to be a problem in that area.
838
00:47:34,747 --> 00:47:35,990
Isn't that great?
839
00:47:36,014 --> 00:47:39,060
Charlie's always trying
to improve himself.
840
00:47:39,084 --> 00:47:41,863
The very least I can do.
841
00:47:41,887 --> 00:47:43,932
Bye, Angels!
842
00:47:43,956 --> 00:47:46,490
Bye, Charlie.
60779
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