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♪
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♪ We're gonna gather
all the kids ♪
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♪ And tell 'em Santa Claus
is coming today ♪
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♪ In a cool dune buggy instead
of reindeer and a sleigh ♪
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♪ And he'll be heading to
the beach for a hullabaloo ♪
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♪ 'Cause it's Christmas
in Malibu ♪
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♪ So, deck all the palm trees
with a bright red bow ♪
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♪ The coconuts will be
our mistletoe ♪
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[Laughing]
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That's it.
Sid, believe me.
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You don't need big money to
make a movie with a big heart.
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00:02:08,606 --> 00:02:10,956
Yeah.
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00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:12,610
Good.
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00:02:12,654 --> 00:02:17,049
At Finkelstein Films, we like tomake the world you want to see.
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Yes, it does say that
on my card.
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Umm...
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You know what, Sid? I'm going tohave to call you back. Thanks.
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Ira J. Finkelstein!
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Ta-da!
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00:02:33,370 --> 00:02:35,198
[Stereo turning off]
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You know,
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we didn't havea whole lot of ornaments.
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So, I did like you said
and used my imagination:
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low-budget magic.
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Make the world you want to see.Huh?
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Wow, never say die, kid.
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00:02:48,951 --> 00:02:50,387
Now, take that shrub
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back where it belongs
before your mother gets home.
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00:02:53,260 --> 00:02:54,913
What? This is not a shrub.
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00:02:54,957 --> 00:02:57,394
It's the FinkelsteinChristmas tree.
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00:02:57,438 --> 00:02:59,788
Ira, Finkelstein's do not have
Christmas trees.
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00:02:59,831 --> 00:03:01,050
Why not?
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00:03:01,093 --> 00:03:02,704
You know why.
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00:03:02,747 --> 00:03:04,358
WOMAN:
My God, look at this place!
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00:03:04,401 --> 00:03:05,750
What have you two been up to?Honey, I--
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Do you two have any idea
who's about to arrive
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00:03:09,406 --> 00:03:11,147
for a first meeting
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00:03:11,191 --> 00:03:13,671
with Rosie Finkelstein,
event planner?
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00:03:13,715 --> 00:03:15,238
Santa Claus?
42
00:03:15,282 --> 00:03:16,848
Hey, don't upset your mother.
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Sorry.
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00:03:17,980 --> 00:03:21,070
Jennifer Cameo.
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From Desperate Jane?
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The one and only.
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A star is coming to my house?
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Well, sort of.
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Well, you know who she is.
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She just hired me to plan
her Christmas party.
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"Christmas party"?
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Rosie, she's a name.
She's a name!
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She's a name! Oh, ho, ho!
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Ira, this is the break
we've been waiting for.
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We are going to attach her
to Daddy's Christmas picture.
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00:03:49,881 --> 00:03:52,493
The Reindeer From Planet Nineis saved.
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00:03:52,536 --> 00:03:55,757
Hey, Steve Spielberg,
why don't you attach yourself
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to the vacuum cleaner
and clean up this mess?
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Okay.Right.
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00:04:00,196 --> 00:04:01,153
Okay?
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♪
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[Doorbell ringing]
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Jennifer Cameo, I presume.
I love you on Desperate Jane.
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You look even younger in person.
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He's a player, huh?
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Oh.
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The problem with
my last party is that
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it just wasn't shiny enough.
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I need at least
50% more sparkle.
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Nothing says "Christmas"like sparkle.
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Nothing says "Christmas"like snow.
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Ira, cheese tray.
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Maybe you could havesnow that sparkles.
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Oh.
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Write that down.
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00:04:50,768 --> 00:04:53,336
I'm going to see snow for thefirst time. I'm going to Aspen.
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There's snow there and lights
and hot chocolate.
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It's going to be
the Christmas of my dreams.
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[Barking]
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00:05:02,084 --> 00:05:04,347
Oh, Pookie.
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00:05:04,391 --> 00:05:07,045
Pookie likes the cheese.
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00:05:07,089 --> 00:05:09,483
Don't you, Pookie?You're just a pookie-wookie.
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[Growling]
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Oh, so cute.
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Don't you, Pookie?
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Pookie-wookie.
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00:05:20,189 --> 00:05:22,191
Ira gets nervous around dogs.
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It's okay, Ira.
Pookie won't hurt you.
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Give him the brie.
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00:05:28,197 --> 00:05:29,503
Ira, it's okay. Go ahead.
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It's okay.
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[Barking]
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Come on.
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Ah!
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Ira!
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00:05:39,339 --> 00:05:40,340
Excuse me.
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00:05:40,383 --> 00:05:42,820
[Nervous chuckling]
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Kids.
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00:05:44,822 --> 00:05:46,737
You know, Jennifer,
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if you like snow,
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00:05:49,087 --> 00:05:52,221
then you would love to be on theset of my new Christmas movie,
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00:05:52,264 --> 00:05:54,223
the Reindeer From Planet Nine.
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00:05:54,266 --> 00:05:58,314
Are you a director?
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00:05:58,358 --> 00:05:59,663
Writer, director, producer.
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00:05:59,707 --> 00:06:00,882
Hmm.
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00:06:00,925 --> 00:06:03,232
You know, I do it all.
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00:06:03,275 --> 00:06:05,495
And as it happens,
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00:06:05,539 --> 00:06:08,846
I am still looking
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for my female lead.
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00:06:10,718 --> 00:06:12,633
A Christmas picture?
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00:06:12,676 --> 00:06:14,983
I'd be perfect.
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00:06:15,026 --> 00:06:16,637
Yeah?
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00:06:16,680 --> 00:06:19,204
Move over, Rudolph.
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00:06:19,248 --> 00:06:20,858
Who?
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00:06:20,902 --> 00:06:22,817
It's not important.
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00:06:22,860 --> 00:06:26,298
Ira, honey,
it's just a little dog.
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00:06:26,342 --> 00:06:28,692
I know.But dogs like to bite me.
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One dog three years ago.
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I had stitches.I got a scar for life.
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00:06:35,699 --> 00:06:39,094
I know but you got to
get over it.
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00:06:39,137 --> 00:06:40,487
Dogs know when
someone's afraid them.
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00:06:40,530 --> 00:06:45,187
They can smell your fear.
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00:06:45,230 --> 00:06:48,408
You have to show him who's boss.Watch.
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Pookie, sit.
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00:06:58,983 --> 00:06:59,941
Now stay.
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00:07:05,990 --> 00:07:10,952
There we go. Hmm?
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00:07:10,995 --> 00:07:13,520
See? Come on.
128
00:07:13,563 --> 00:07:16,871
[Laughing]
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00:07:16,914 --> 00:07:19,700
We're going to make a movie!
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00:07:19,743 --> 00:07:21,658
Going to make a movie! Hey!
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00:07:21,702 --> 00:07:24,356
You and I making a movie!
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00:07:24,400 --> 00:07:26,750
[Laughing]
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00:07:26,794 --> 00:07:29,492
We're going to make a movie,yes, a Christmas picture.
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Oh, yes, we are!Oh, yes, we are!
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00:07:32,408 --> 00:07:35,846
Yes, we are! I love your coat!
Oh, you are so cute!
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00:07:35,890 --> 00:07:38,240
Congratulations.When do you start?
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00:07:38,283 --> 00:07:41,112
The 23rd, we're going to shoot
right through Christmas.
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00:07:41,156 --> 00:07:43,201
Oh, yes, we are.
139
00:07:43,245 --> 00:07:45,900
Wait. What? No, you can't do
that. We'll be in Aspen.
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00:07:50,992 --> 00:07:52,341
Won't we?
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00:07:52,384 --> 00:07:54,212
Umm, Ira, buddy--
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00:07:54,256 --> 00:07:57,868
No, we're going to Aspen
to see real snow,
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00:07:57,912 --> 00:08:01,306
no stupid movie fake snow. No.
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00:08:01,350 --> 00:08:03,613
You're not cancelling
my Christmas.
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00:08:03,657 --> 00:08:04,745
Ira!
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00:08:04,788 --> 00:08:06,094
Buddy?
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00:08:06,137 --> 00:08:11,099
We're going to make a movie,
okay, sweetheart?
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00:08:11,142 --> 00:08:15,538
Ooh, yes, we are.
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00:08:21,849 --> 00:08:23,851
Ira, Ira.
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00:08:23,894 --> 00:08:25,766
We're closed for the holidays.
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00:08:25,809 --> 00:08:27,942
Let me explain.
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00:08:27,985 --> 00:08:30,510
Ira?
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00:08:30,553 --> 00:08:33,643
Ira, sweetheart,
listen to your father.
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Go ahead.
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00:08:34,688 --> 00:08:38,561
Ira? Ira?
156
00:08:38,605 --> 00:08:41,259
Ira?
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00:08:41,303 --> 00:08:43,435
Ira, put down the violin.
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00:08:50,617 --> 00:08:54,621
Thank you.
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00:08:54,664 --> 00:08:56,623
I'm listening.
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Good.
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00:08:58,842 --> 00:09:01,541
Ira, you know how important
Daddy's business is,
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00:09:01,584 --> 00:09:04,631
and Mommy's too.
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00:09:04,674 --> 00:09:06,110
This is our big break.
164
00:09:06,154 --> 00:09:08,199
Hey, we can go to Aspen
next year.
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00:09:08,243 --> 00:09:11,768
In fact, if this goes good,
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00:09:11,812 --> 00:09:15,250
we can go to Aspen every year.
We can go wherever you want.
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00:09:17,165 --> 00:09:18,732
You're a good son, Ira.
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00:09:18,775 --> 00:09:20,385
And I know that you're going tounderstand and forgive,
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00:09:20,429 --> 00:09:25,173
for the family, mishpocha.
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00:09:25,216 --> 00:09:27,001
Okay.
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00:09:27,044 --> 00:09:29,786
Now you listen.
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00:09:29,830 --> 00:09:34,486
Christmas is supposed to beabout family, mishpocha,
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and everyone being happy.
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00:09:36,314 --> 00:09:38,229
Now, I've seen a lotof Christmas movies.
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And I know whatI'm talking about.
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00:09:40,275 --> 00:09:43,670
And I'm not happy.
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00:09:43,713 --> 00:09:46,716
Do you see this?
This is unhealthy.
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00:09:46,760 --> 00:09:48,239
Max--
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00:09:48,283 --> 00:09:50,807
No, he's obsessed with
the Christmas.
180
00:09:50,851 --> 00:09:53,288
The whole world is
obsessed with Christmas.
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00:09:53,331 --> 00:09:55,377
I'm just the only one
who doesn't get any.
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00:09:55,420 --> 00:09:56,421
You,
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00:09:56,465 --> 00:09:58,685
you get to plana Christmas party.
184
00:09:58,728 --> 00:10:01,383
And you, you get to make
a Christmas movie
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00:10:01,426 --> 00:10:02,950
with Santa Claus and reindeer.
186
00:10:02,993 --> 00:10:05,343
But that's business.
187
00:10:05,387 --> 00:10:08,825
What about family? Mishpocha?
188
00:10:08,869 --> 00:10:11,393
What about me?
189
00:10:11,436 --> 00:10:14,526
This is all I want.
190
00:10:14,570 --> 00:10:16,093
I want you to gotell Desperate Jane
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00:10:16,137 --> 00:10:18,356
you'll see her at New Year's
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00:10:18,400 --> 00:10:22,404
and take me to Aspen
like you promised,
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00:10:22,447 --> 00:10:24,232
with the evergreens,
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00:10:24,275 --> 00:10:26,016
and the hot chocolate,
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00:10:26,060 --> 00:10:28,497
and the snow.
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00:10:28,540 --> 00:10:32,544
[Sighing]
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00:10:32,588 --> 00:10:35,243
MAN ON P.A.:
All passengers
are reminded that--
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00:10:35,286 --> 00:10:38,333
Ira, stop sulking.I know it's not Aspen.
199
00:10:38,376 --> 00:10:40,683
But it's not every kidthat gets to go to Florida
200
00:10:40,727 --> 00:10:43,686
for the holidays,or the Christmas.
201
00:10:43,730 --> 00:10:47,516
Yeah, but Florida's
the opposite of Christmas.
202
00:10:47,559 --> 00:10:49,518
Honey, they have
beautiful beaches.
203
00:10:49,561 --> 00:10:51,955
Nice condos.
204
00:10:51,999 --> 00:10:53,087
And warm sand you can
wiggle your toe--
205
00:10:53,130 --> 00:10:54,088
Hey!
206
00:10:54,131 --> 00:10:55,176
Ira! Ira!
207
00:10:55,219 --> 00:10:56,264
Will you stop that kid?
208
00:10:56,307 --> 00:10:57,744
Excuse me. Sorry.
209
00:10:57,787 --> 00:10:59,049
Ira, hey.
210
00:10:59,093 --> 00:11:00,355
Thank you.
211
00:11:00,398 --> 00:11:02,574
What has gotten into you?
212
00:11:02,618 --> 00:11:05,273
Look at you. You could have
broken your glasses.
213
00:11:05,316 --> 00:11:09,190
I want to stay with you guys.
That's the Christmas spirit.
214
00:11:09,233 --> 00:11:11,801
Enough withthe Christmas spirit.
215
00:11:11,845 --> 00:11:14,586
Did you remember to bringyour spare pair of glasses?
216
00:11:14,630 --> 00:11:16,632
No.
217
00:11:16,676 --> 00:11:19,113
You're lucky
your mother adores you.
218
00:11:19,156 --> 00:11:21,332
Then why are yousending me away?
219
00:11:21,376 --> 00:11:23,726
Ira, honey.
220
00:11:23,770 --> 00:11:26,903
Read my lips because maybeyou didn't hear me so good
221
00:11:26,947 --> 00:11:29,689
the first ten times.
222
00:11:29,732 --> 00:11:30,777
Your father and I
are going to be
223
00:11:30,820 --> 00:11:31,995
working around the clock
all week.
224
00:11:32,039 --> 00:11:34,041
And we can't leave you alone.
225
00:11:34,084 --> 00:11:36,870
And your grandparents arereally excited to see you.
226
00:11:36,913 --> 00:11:38,132
It's been years.
227
00:11:38,175 --> 00:11:39,873
So, stop sulking, honey.
228
00:11:39,916 --> 00:11:44,225
Yeah, and we'll go anywhereyou want to go next year.
229
00:11:44,268 --> 00:11:46,053
"Next year".
230
00:11:57,499 --> 00:12:01,764
♪ Deck the halls
and trim the tree ♪
231
00:12:01,808 --> 00:12:05,637
♪ Drape the tinsel festively
232
00:12:05,681 --> 00:12:09,380
♪ Make the world
you want to see ♪
233
00:12:09,424 --> 00:12:11,034
♪ Ira
234
00:12:11,078 --> 00:12:13,254
♪ Ira
235
00:12:13,297 --> 00:12:17,432
♪ Gingerbread tastes good,
it's true ♪
236
00:12:17,475 --> 00:12:18,999
♪ Candy canes
237
00:12:19,042 --> 00:12:20,087
♪ Take one
238
00:12:20,130 --> 00:12:21,523
♪ Take two
239
00:12:21,566 --> 00:12:25,701
♪ Fresh hot chocolate
just for you ♪
240
00:12:25,745 --> 00:12:27,790
♪ Ira
241
00:12:27,834 --> 00:12:30,271
♪ Ira, Ira
242
00:12:30,314 --> 00:12:34,536
Ira? Ira? Ira?
243
00:12:34,579 --> 00:12:35,842
Time to wake up.
244
00:12:35,885 --> 00:12:37,844
You don't want to miss
your connecting flight
245
00:12:37,887 --> 00:12:40,063
and get stuck in Chicago.
Believe me.
246
00:12:40,107 --> 00:12:41,456
MAN ON P.A.:
Hello from the flight deck.
247
00:12:41,499 --> 00:12:43,197
We've begun our descent into
248
00:12:43,240 --> 00:12:44,894
Chicago O'Hare
International Airport
249
00:12:44,938 --> 00:12:47,723
where the temperature on the ground is 28° and snowing.
250
00:12:47,767 --> 00:12:50,030
"Snow"?
251
00:12:50,073 --> 00:12:52,510
♪ I just can't do
252
00:12:52,554 --> 00:12:56,776
♪ Without Christmas
253
00:12:56,819 --> 00:13:00,823
I thought you said you weregetting the heater fixed.
254
00:13:00,867 --> 00:13:03,521
I did get it fixed.
255
00:13:03,565 --> 00:13:05,828
It broke again.
256
00:13:05,872 --> 00:13:07,047
I'm sorry, Mikey.
257
00:13:07,090 --> 00:13:08,309
It'll be fixed by
the time you get back.
258
00:13:08,352 --> 00:13:10,311
I promise.
259
00:13:10,354 --> 00:13:12,704
Is it warmer inWashington state, at least?
260
00:13:12,748 --> 00:13:15,707
Nope.
261
00:13:15,751 --> 00:13:16,839
Great.
262
00:13:16,883 --> 00:13:18,362
Don't be that way, honey.
263
00:13:18,406 --> 00:13:20,712
You're going to have
a good time with your cousins.
264
00:13:20,756 --> 00:13:24,064
I don't care about them. I wantto spend Christmas with you.
265
00:13:24,107 --> 00:13:26,370
I'll make it up to you, Mikey,
266
00:13:26,414 --> 00:13:28,720
next year, I promise,
267
00:13:28,764 --> 00:13:30,548
when I have some seniority.
268
00:13:30,592 --> 00:13:31,941
I don't even know what that is.
269
00:13:31,985 --> 00:13:34,291
It means I'm low woman
on the totem pole.
270
00:13:34,335 --> 00:13:37,686
Maybe you just want tohave Christmas with Rod.
271
00:13:37,729 --> 00:13:41,690
Nah. You're my special guy.
272
00:13:41,733 --> 00:13:43,648
You know that.
273
00:13:43,692 --> 00:13:45,041
Is that why
I'm going to Washington?
274
00:13:47,304 --> 00:13:50,481
Sorry.
275
00:13:50,525 --> 00:13:52,353
♪ My holiday dreams
will come true ♪
276
00:13:52,396 --> 00:13:56,879
It's only a week.
277
00:13:56,923 --> 00:13:59,534
It's going to be an adventure.
278
00:14:04,060 --> 00:14:05,627
Let's go, hon. You don't want tomiss your flight.
279
00:14:05,670 --> 00:14:08,891
But you said it was delayed.
280
00:14:08,935 --> 00:14:11,589
Can't we go outside and play
in the snow for a little bit?
281
00:14:11,633 --> 00:14:14,636
Sorry, that's not how it works.Come on now.
282
00:14:14,679 --> 00:14:19,162
We have a niceindoor play area. Hmm?
283
00:14:23,210 --> 00:14:25,647
You stay put now.I'll be right back.
284
00:14:25,690 --> 00:14:29,956
Here?
285
00:14:29,999 --> 00:14:32,045
You too, huh?
286
00:14:32,088 --> 00:14:33,263
Excuse me?
287
00:14:33,307 --> 00:14:36,701
Getting the shaft at Christmas.
288
00:14:36,745 --> 00:14:39,835
So, where they
shipping you off to?
289
00:14:39,879 --> 00:14:42,055
Stupid Florida.
290
00:14:42,098 --> 00:14:44,753
Lucky you: sunshine and beaches.
291
00:14:44,796 --> 00:14:45,797
What about you?
292
00:14:45,841 --> 00:14:47,451
Stupid Christmastown.
293
00:14:47,495 --> 00:14:48,539
"Christmastown"?
294
00:14:48,583 --> 00:14:49,540
Where's that?
295
00:14:49,584 --> 00:14:50,802
Some town in Washington state,
296
00:14:50,846 --> 00:14:53,675
supposed to be all
Christmasy and lit up
297
00:14:53,718 --> 00:14:55,677
and decorated with
a bunch of stupid snow.
298
00:14:55,720 --> 00:14:58,027
I just want to
stay home with my mom.
299
00:14:58,071 --> 00:15:00,595
I wish I could goto Christmastown.
300
00:15:00,638 --> 00:15:03,337
I've seen everyChristmas movie ever made.
301
00:15:03,380 --> 00:15:06,340
But I've never evenplayed in the snow.
302
00:15:06,383 --> 00:15:07,950
Really? Where do you live?
303
00:15:07,994 --> 00:15:09,386
Hollywood.
304
00:15:09,430 --> 00:15:10,692
Does your dad make movies?
305
00:15:10,735 --> 00:15:12,520
He tries.
306
00:15:12,563 --> 00:15:14,130
Are your parents divorced?
307
00:15:14,174 --> 00:15:15,436
No.
308
00:15:15,479 --> 00:15:17,873
Mine are. You're lucky.
309
00:15:17,917 --> 00:15:20,571
Plus, I'm pretty sure
we're poor.
310
00:15:20,615 --> 00:15:23,400
My mom's a waitress.
311
00:15:23,444 --> 00:15:24,836
Mine plans parties.
312
00:15:24,880 --> 00:15:27,056
I bet she gets you really good
Christmas presents.
313
00:15:27,100 --> 00:15:28,666
We celebrate Hanukkah instead.
314
00:15:28,710 --> 00:15:30,581
Do you get presents for it?
315
00:15:30,625 --> 00:15:33,019
Eight days' worth.
316
00:15:33,062 --> 00:15:34,977
Dude, you have
an incredible life.
317
00:15:35,021 --> 00:15:38,938
Yeah, but you're the one who
gets to go to Christmastown.
318
00:15:38,981 --> 00:15:42,115
Like, who lives there? Your dad?
319
00:15:42,158 --> 00:15:43,420
I'm actually going
to visit my cousins.
320
00:15:43,464 --> 00:15:45,901
But I haven't seen them
in, like, five years.
321
00:15:45,945 --> 00:15:48,077
So, my mom had to
give me this picture
322
00:15:48,121 --> 00:15:49,339
so that I could recognize them.
323
00:15:49,383 --> 00:15:52,864
What kind ofa Christmas is that?
324
00:15:52,908 --> 00:15:54,823
A white one.
325
00:15:54,866 --> 00:15:56,738
Are you going toplay in the snow?
326
00:15:56,781 --> 00:16:00,002
I guess. I'd rather go
someplace warm though.
327
00:16:00,046 --> 00:16:02,700
My mom says there's this main
street that gets all lit up.
328
00:16:02,744 --> 00:16:05,529
Kids sled on it
and there's a Santa's workshop
329
00:16:05,573 --> 00:16:10,186
and reindeer and hot chocolate.
330
00:16:10,230 --> 00:16:14,756
♪ Christmastown is
full of cheer ♪
331
00:16:14,799 --> 00:16:18,716
♪ Snow is guaranteed each year
332
00:16:18,760 --> 00:16:22,894
♪ Wishes are new each year
333
00:16:22,938 --> 00:16:23,983
♪ Dude
334
00:16:24,026 --> 00:16:26,028
♪ Dude
335
00:16:26,072 --> 00:16:30,032
Dude? Dude?
336
00:16:30,076 --> 00:16:31,207
[Whistling]
337
00:16:31,251 --> 00:16:34,732
My name is Ira.
Ira Finkelstein.
338
00:16:34,776 --> 00:16:37,474
"Finkelstein"? That's funny.
I'm Mikey Amato.
339
00:16:37,518 --> 00:16:38,780
Mikey,
340
00:16:38,823 --> 00:16:42,262
this is going to bethe Christmas of our dreams.
341
00:16:49,225 --> 00:16:52,837
Uh-oh, quick. Put this on.
342
00:16:52,881 --> 00:16:53,838
Hey! Give me my hat!
343
00:16:53,882 --> 00:16:55,318
She's coming.
344
00:16:55,362 --> 00:16:57,277
There's no time to explain.You have to trust me, Mikey.
345
00:16:57,320 --> 00:16:59,105
Now, give me your coat.
346
00:16:59,148 --> 00:17:02,456
[Laughing]
347
00:17:02,499 --> 00:17:03,761
Hey, stop tickling me.
348
00:17:03,805 --> 00:17:06,199
Here. Put on my coat.
349
00:17:09,202 --> 00:17:10,464
Quick, put it on.
350
00:17:10,507 --> 00:17:11,813
I got it.
351
00:17:11,856 --> 00:17:15,208
Trade me.
352
00:17:15,251 --> 00:17:19,255
Sit right here.
353
00:17:19,299 --> 00:17:21,605
Hey, you kind of look like me,except for those glasses.
354
00:17:26,915 --> 00:17:28,960
MIKEY:I can't see.
355
00:17:29,004 --> 00:17:30,310
MAN:
All right, come on.
356
00:17:30,353 --> 00:17:32,355
It sure was nice meeting you,
Ira Finkelstein.
357
00:17:32,399 --> 00:17:34,314
Hope you have a great time
358
00:17:34,357 --> 00:17:36,881
on the warm, sunny beaches
of Florida.
359
00:17:36,925 --> 00:17:39,449
I bet your grandparents
will be so happy to see you.
360
00:17:39,493 --> 00:17:41,016
They haven't seen you in years.
361
00:17:41,060 --> 00:17:43,497
They probably won't even
recognize you.
362
00:17:43,540 --> 00:17:45,281
Glad I at least have
this photo of my cousins.
363
00:17:45,325 --> 00:17:47,022
Time's up.
364
00:17:47,066 --> 00:17:50,373
Hey, Ira.
365
00:17:50,417 --> 00:17:52,027
Punch in your cell phone number
so we can talk over vacation.
366
00:17:52,071 --> 00:17:53,115
No, I think it's time to go.
367
00:17:53,159 --> 00:17:58,033
Oh, let 'em. It's cute.
368
00:17:58,077 --> 00:18:00,514
Always nice to make new friends.
369
00:18:02,211 --> 00:18:06,955
[Phone ringing]
370
00:18:06,998 --> 00:18:08,783
Hello?
371
00:18:08,826 --> 00:18:12,265
Merry Christmas, Ira. Now you
have my phone number too.
372
00:18:12,308 --> 00:18:13,657
You said it, Mikey.
373
00:18:13,701 --> 00:18:15,181
All right, let's go.
374
00:18:19,098 --> 00:18:20,708
Hey, Ira.
375
00:18:20,751 --> 00:18:22,971
Happy Hanukkah.
376
00:18:23,014 --> 00:18:27,541
Merry Christmas, Mikey.
377
00:18:27,584 --> 00:18:29,673
I usually say "Happy holidays".It's easier.
378
00:18:29,717 --> 00:18:31,936
Oh, excuse me, ma'am.
379
00:18:31,980 --> 00:18:35,723
Everything okay?
380
00:18:44,340 --> 00:18:47,038
Everything's great.
381
00:18:47,082 --> 00:18:56,178
♪
382
00:18:56,222 --> 00:19:00,878
Mikey, it's me, Ira.
Where are you?
383
00:19:00,922 --> 00:19:03,011
In Florida.
Tell me what to do.
384
00:19:03,054 --> 00:19:04,534
Don't panic.
385
00:19:04,578 --> 00:19:06,797
Your grandparents will meet youat the baggage claim.
386
00:19:06,841 --> 00:19:09,191
Sam will definitely
be wearing a hat.
387
00:19:09,235 --> 00:19:11,541
Ruth will be carrying some food.
388
00:19:11,585 --> 00:19:13,587
Over and out.
389
00:19:13,630 --> 00:19:23,597
♪
390
00:19:31,735 --> 00:19:33,998
Uh-oh.
391
00:19:34,042 --> 00:19:35,826
What's the matter?
392
00:19:38,394 --> 00:19:40,440
Grandpa!
393
00:19:40,483 --> 00:19:44,922
Ira, is it you?
394
00:19:44,966 --> 00:19:46,794
Oh, it's been too long!
395
00:19:46,837 --> 00:19:49,623
Ira, bubala!
396
00:19:49,666 --> 00:19:52,756
Welcome to Florida, Ira.
397
00:19:52,800 --> 00:19:55,411
He's grown!
398
00:19:55,455 --> 00:19:57,674
Ira, look at you.
You're a man now.
399
00:19:57,718 --> 00:19:58,936
Here, have a knish.
400
00:19:58,980 --> 00:20:00,590
Thanks, Grandma.
401
00:20:00,634 --> 00:20:01,939
I'll take two.
402
00:20:01,983 --> 00:20:06,161
Oh, what an appetite,and no more glasses.
403
00:20:06,205 --> 00:20:08,946
I see great.
404
00:20:11,340 --> 00:20:14,256
Must be the tropical air?
405
00:20:14,300 --> 00:20:16,432
Must be.
406
00:20:16,476 --> 00:20:18,478
I could eat you up!
407
00:20:23,526 --> 00:20:26,442
Where's Mikey?
408
00:20:26,486 --> 00:20:31,055
He's probably going to be thelast one off the plane, honey.
409
00:20:31,099 --> 00:20:35,103
Hi, Aunt Libby. Hi, cousins.
410
00:20:35,146 --> 00:20:36,409
Mikey?
411
00:20:36,452 --> 00:20:38,759
Oh, here's my I.D.
412
00:20:38,802 --> 00:20:43,111
Uhh, sorry the flightwas delayed. Where's Uncle Walt?
413
00:20:43,154 --> 00:20:45,896
In the bar. Where else?
414
00:20:45,940 --> 00:20:47,420
Hey, Mikey.
415
00:20:47,463 --> 00:20:48,551
Hey.
416
00:20:48,595 --> 00:20:51,685
Hello, Mikey.
417
00:20:51,728 --> 00:20:52,947
We're so glad you could comestay with us for Christmas.
418
00:20:52,990 --> 00:20:55,297
She has to say that.
419
00:20:55,341 --> 00:20:56,298
Jessica, enough.
420
00:20:56,342 --> 00:20:58,648
Hi-ya!
421
00:20:58,692 --> 00:21:01,999
Hi-ya! Karate Don action!
422
00:21:02,043 --> 00:21:04,045
Let's hit the road.
423
00:21:04,088 --> 00:21:07,178
Let's do it.
424
00:21:10,051 --> 00:21:11,966
Come on, boys.
425
00:21:12,009 --> 00:21:13,489
Let's go.
426
00:21:17,537 --> 00:21:20,627
♪ Jingle bells, jingle bells,
jingle all the way ♪
427
00:21:20,670 --> 00:21:24,152
This is so beautiful.
428
00:21:24,195 --> 00:21:27,982
It's right out of the movies.
429
00:21:28,025 --> 00:21:29,984
Thanks, nephew.We aim to please.
430
00:21:30,027 --> 00:21:33,074
♪ Oh, what fun it is to ride
in a one-horse open sleigh ♪
431
00:21:33,117 --> 00:21:34,858
Merry Christmas!
432
00:21:34,902 --> 00:21:36,773
Merry Christmas!
433
00:21:36,817 --> 00:21:38,384
LIBBY:
Be careful. It's icy.
434
00:21:38,427 --> 00:21:39,689
WALT:I'm fine.
435
00:21:39,733 --> 00:21:41,604
KYLE:Karate Don action!
436
00:21:41,648 --> 00:21:44,738
JESSICA:
Quit it, Kyle.
437
00:21:44,781 --> 00:21:46,522
Way to drive like a dork, Dad.
438
00:21:46,566 --> 00:21:48,132
LIBBY:
Jessica!
439
00:21:48,176 --> 00:21:50,657
WALT:Talk to me after you've beendriving for 20 years.
440
00:21:50,700 --> 00:21:53,747
♪ Sleigh
441
00:21:53,790 --> 00:21:57,533
♪ Fa-la-la, fa-la-la
442
00:21:57,577 --> 00:22:01,537
♪ Fa-la-la, gloria
443
00:22:01,581 --> 00:22:05,628
♪ Fa-la-la, fa-la-la
444
00:22:05,672 --> 00:22:09,676
♪ Fa-la-la, gloria
445
00:22:09,719 --> 00:22:13,549
♪ Angels we have heard on high
446
00:22:13,593 --> 00:22:16,509
♪ Sweetly singing o'er
447
00:22:16,552 --> 00:22:17,771
Did Spike call?
448
00:22:17,814 --> 00:22:19,555
How would I know?
449
00:22:19,599 --> 00:22:21,209
Mommy, I'm hungry! I'm hungry!
450
00:22:21,252 --> 00:22:24,386
I know, I know, cheese pizza,your favourite.
451
00:22:24,430 --> 00:22:26,562
Let's go, Mikey, come on.
452
00:22:26,606 --> 00:22:29,870
He's probably in the car.
453
00:22:29,913 --> 00:22:32,655
Yes! Karate Don!
454
00:22:32,699 --> 00:22:36,093
Let's make snow angels!
455
00:22:36,137 --> 00:22:38,226
Yeah, looks like fun.
Let's all make snow angels.
456
00:22:38,269 --> 00:22:39,227
Walt?
457
00:22:39,270 --> 00:22:40,184
What?
458
00:22:40,228 --> 00:22:42,796
A little help, please.
459
00:22:42,839 --> 00:22:46,887
♪ Glorious snow, snow
460
00:22:46,930 --> 00:22:49,193
Mikey, it's freezing.
Time to eat.
461
00:22:49,237 --> 00:22:51,152
♪ Glorious snow
462
00:22:51,195 --> 00:22:53,763
Got to put your back into it,
kid.
463
00:22:53,807 --> 00:22:55,852
Come see the tree.
464
00:23:02,293 --> 00:23:05,688
What do you think?
465
00:23:05,732 --> 00:23:11,041
Are you kidding? It's the best
Christmas tree I've ever seen.
466
00:23:11,085 --> 00:23:12,347
Really?
467
00:23:12,391 --> 00:23:16,133
That's great. We haven't hadthe greatest year.
468
00:23:16,177 --> 00:23:18,222
I'm hoping the perfect Christmas
469
00:23:18,266 --> 00:23:21,138
will make things better.
470
00:23:21,182 --> 00:23:22,836
Look. I made you an ornament.
471
00:23:22,879 --> 00:23:25,665
Oh.
472
00:23:25,708 --> 00:23:28,842
You're even wearingthe same hat and coat.
473
00:23:28,885 --> 00:23:32,019
But I didn't knowyou had glasses.
474
00:23:32,062 --> 00:23:37,024
Oh, they're, umm... They're new.
475
00:23:37,067 --> 00:23:39,853
LIBBY:
Dinner!
476
00:23:39,896 --> 00:23:42,638
You can sit right there.
477
00:23:42,682 --> 00:23:47,643
Okay.
478
00:23:47,687 --> 00:23:49,689
Shall I light the candles?
479
00:23:49,732 --> 00:23:51,081
Sure.
480
00:23:57,871 --> 00:24:01,396
Hey, umm, Aunt Libby,
after dinner,
481
00:24:01,440 --> 00:24:03,354
can we go sledding?
482
00:24:03,398 --> 00:24:04,617
Uhh, just a sec, Mikey.
483
00:24:04,660 --> 00:24:05,835
Jessica!
484
00:24:05,879 --> 00:24:08,011
Dinner!
485
00:24:08,055 --> 00:24:11,841
Look. It's spinning.
486
00:24:11,885 --> 00:24:13,669
I'm going out so...
487
00:24:13,713 --> 00:24:18,413
No, you're not. You're working
on your college applications.
488
00:24:18,457 --> 00:24:22,852
It's Christmas vacation.
And besides, why bother?
489
00:24:22,896 --> 00:24:24,158
It's not like we're going to
have the money
490
00:24:24,201 --> 00:24:25,507
to send me anywhere good.
491
00:24:25,551 --> 00:24:27,683
I don't see you with a job.
492
00:24:27,727 --> 00:24:30,077
Like father, like daughter.
493
00:24:33,733 --> 00:24:35,430
Sorry, Mikey.It's too late for sledding.
494
00:24:35,474 --> 00:24:37,258
But we've got a great day
planned for you tomorrow.
495
00:24:37,301 --> 00:24:40,043
We're going to
the Christmastown parade!
496
00:24:40,087 --> 00:24:42,263
Jessica's going to take you.
497
00:24:42,306 --> 00:24:44,395
Uhh, no, I have plans,
498
00:24:44,439 --> 00:24:46,397
with Spike.
499
00:24:46,441 --> 00:24:48,661
I want you and Dad to take us.
500
00:24:48,704 --> 00:24:51,272
I work all day, Clare.
501
00:24:51,315 --> 00:24:53,013
Dad?
502
00:24:53,056 --> 00:24:55,972
Daddy's got a full day tomorrow,honey.
503
00:24:56,016 --> 00:24:59,410
I got to keep getting my faceout there, keep making contacts.
504
00:24:59,454 --> 00:25:01,412
On the racquetball court?
505
00:25:01,456 --> 00:25:04,285
That's the way it works.
506
00:25:04,328 --> 00:25:05,852
But I don't want Jessica
to take us.
507
00:25:05,895 --> 00:25:07,680
Well, deal with it
508
00:25:07,723 --> 00:25:08,942
because that's the only way
you're going.
509
00:25:08,985 --> 00:25:10,683
[Sighing]
510
00:25:10,726 --> 00:25:12,554
Nobody even cares about
what I want.
511
00:25:12,598 --> 00:25:14,208
I'm sick of being
the family slave.
512
00:25:14,251 --> 00:25:17,864
It's not my fault
Dad's a failure.
513
00:25:17,907 --> 00:25:20,780
LIBBY:Jessica Elizabeth Wilson!
514
00:25:20,823 --> 00:25:23,652
Are you going to let her
get away with that?
515
00:25:23,696 --> 00:25:25,698
Jessica?
516
00:25:25,741 --> 00:25:29,353
Bow to me! I'm Karate Don!
517
00:25:29,397 --> 00:25:30,920
Hi-ya!
518
00:25:34,402 --> 00:25:37,187
Ow.
519
00:25:37,231 --> 00:25:40,060
[Sighing]
520
00:25:45,761 --> 00:25:48,938
Oh, such naches,
what a boichika,
521
00:25:48,982 --> 00:25:51,288
what a grandson.
522
00:25:51,332 --> 00:25:53,290
I'm happy already.Why do I need to dance?
523
00:25:53,334 --> 00:25:55,815
Oh, come on.
Don't you want to dance?
524
00:25:55,858 --> 00:25:59,862
SAM:
What a grandson.
525
00:25:59,906 --> 00:26:02,822
All the way across the country,our Ira flew all by himself.
526
00:26:02,865 --> 00:26:05,738
Such a mensch, what a mensch.
527
00:26:05,781 --> 00:26:08,436
Well, you should see
my grandson.
528
00:26:08,479 --> 00:26:10,525
He flew all the way to Israel.
529
00:26:10,569 --> 00:26:12,222
Oh, that's nothing.
530
00:26:12,266 --> 00:26:13,528
My little Susan,
only four years old,
531
00:26:13,572 --> 00:26:15,182
got lost in a grocery store
532
00:26:15,225 --> 00:26:17,619
and found her way home,
533
00:26:17,663 --> 00:26:21,623
over three miles away,through five busy intersections.
534
00:26:21,667 --> 00:26:23,059
I could do it.Ira, Ira?
535
00:26:23,103 --> 00:26:25,975
Ira, Ira, would you like
your first Hanukkah present?
536
00:26:26,019 --> 00:26:27,063
A present for me?
537
00:26:27,107 --> 00:26:30,719
Why wait?
538
00:26:30,763 --> 00:26:31,720
Wow, gold.
539
00:26:31,764 --> 00:26:33,026
It's gelt, honey.
540
00:26:33,069 --> 00:26:34,810
It's chocolate.
Don't eat the wrapper.
541
00:26:34,854 --> 00:26:36,029
Oh, even better!
542
00:26:36,072 --> 00:26:39,859
Don't be a chazer.
543
00:26:39,902 --> 00:26:41,338
Look, he eats!
544
00:26:41,382 --> 00:26:42,992
He knows what to do with it.
545
00:26:43,036 --> 00:26:45,386
[Cheering]
546
00:26:45,429 --> 00:26:49,042
[Laughing]
547
00:26:49,085 --> 00:26:52,393
[Knocking]
548
00:26:52,436 --> 00:26:54,830
Can I come in?
549
00:26:54,874 --> 00:26:56,702
Sure.
550
00:26:56,745 --> 00:26:59,661
I just wanted to say
good night.
551
00:26:59,705 --> 00:27:01,489
Good night.
552
00:27:01,532 --> 00:27:03,186
Mikey?
553
00:27:03,230 --> 00:27:05,058
Yeah?
554
00:27:05,101 --> 00:27:07,669
When your parents got divorced,
555
00:27:07,713 --> 00:27:09,715
did you knowit was going to happen?
556
00:27:09,758 --> 00:27:13,022
Were they fighting a lot?
557
00:27:13,066 --> 00:27:15,677
Oh.
558
00:27:15,721 --> 00:27:18,854
Umm...
559
00:27:18,898 --> 00:27:22,466
I don't really remember.
560
00:27:22,510 --> 00:27:24,512
My parents neverused to fight.
561
00:27:24,555 --> 00:27:27,515
I can't believe I thoughtsome dumb Christmas tree
562
00:27:27,558 --> 00:27:30,692
would make things better.
563
00:27:30,736 --> 00:27:35,088
Maybe it will.
564
00:27:35,131 --> 00:27:37,743
[Chuckling]
565
00:27:37,786 --> 00:27:39,222
Thanks.
566
00:27:39,266 --> 00:27:42,486
I'll see you in the morning.
567
00:27:42,530 --> 00:27:45,707
See you in the morning.
568
00:27:45,751 --> 00:27:49,319
Ladies and gentlemen,
Jennifer Cameo!
569
00:27:49,363 --> 00:27:54,237
Here's something you didn't
know. Rudolph was a girl.
570
00:27:54,281 --> 00:27:56,022
[Laughing]
571
00:27:56,065 --> 00:27:57,588
Max, darling,
572
00:27:57,632 --> 00:28:00,243
why would I stay
573
00:28:00,287 --> 00:28:03,507
with an unemployed fat man
574
00:28:03,551 --> 00:28:04,987
who leaves meevery Christmas Eve
575
00:28:05,031 --> 00:28:06,249
and goes off tosee the world without me?
576
00:28:06,293 --> 00:28:08,687
What's my motivation?
577
00:28:08,730 --> 00:28:11,341
Well, you're Mrs. Claus, Edna,
so...
578
00:28:11,385 --> 00:28:14,518
But you love him.
It's Christmas.
579
00:28:14,562 --> 00:28:17,304
We were thinking
there could be a subplot.
580
00:28:17,347 --> 00:28:19,262
But Louis, we're on a budget.
581
00:28:19,306 --> 00:28:22,701
Max, darling, this is art.
582
00:28:22,744 --> 00:28:24,354
Yes.
583
00:28:24,398 --> 00:28:26,617
What if I'm not just an elf?
584
00:28:26,661 --> 00:28:28,271
Pitch him, Louis.
585
00:28:28,315 --> 00:28:31,361
What if I'm a secret agent hiredby evil galactic forces
586
00:28:31,405 --> 00:28:33,102
to infiltrate the workshop?
587
00:28:33,146 --> 00:28:36,192
I get close to Mrs. Claus
and dump her
588
00:28:36,236 --> 00:28:37,933
after she spillsSanta's secrets.
589
00:28:37,977 --> 00:28:40,849
Spurned, I take revenge,
590
00:28:40,893 --> 00:28:42,982
by sabotaging his Elfmobile.
591
00:28:43,025 --> 00:28:44,679
And I blow up.
592
00:28:44,723 --> 00:28:47,377
Then I sing my big number.
593
00:28:47,421 --> 00:28:50,032
That could work.
You know, we could--
594
00:28:50,076 --> 00:28:51,033
[Phone ringing]
595
00:28:51,077 --> 00:28:52,208
Excuse me.
596
00:28:52,252 --> 00:28:55,516
Ira, is that you?
597
00:28:55,559 --> 00:28:57,779
Speak up, Ira.
598
00:28:57,823 --> 00:28:59,650
You told me to call
and say good night.
599
00:28:59,694 --> 00:29:03,002
You're a good boy.
I wish you were at the party.
600
00:29:03,045 --> 00:29:05,004
There is so much sparkle.
601
00:29:05,047 --> 00:29:06,962
That's great.
602
00:29:07,006 --> 00:29:10,009
Listen, we'll call you
tomorrow, okay?
603
00:29:10,052 --> 00:29:13,447
I love you. Sweet dreams.
604
00:29:13,490 --> 00:29:17,843
[Dial tone humming]
605
00:29:17,886 --> 00:29:20,454
I love you too.
606
00:29:20,497 --> 00:29:22,848
♪ Hanukkah, Hanukkah
607
00:29:22,891 --> 00:29:26,242
♪ A Yontiff a sheiner,
a lustiker ♪
608
00:29:26,286 --> 00:29:29,550
Watermelon, watermelon...
609
00:29:29,593 --> 00:29:34,555
♪ Alle nacht in dreydlech
shpiln mir ♪
610
00:29:34,598 --> 00:29:39,038
Cheby, cheby, cheby,
show, show...
611
00:29:39,081 --> 00:29:49,048
♪
612
00:30:05,760 --> 00:30:10,373
♪ Un tantzen freylech in kohn
613
00:30:10,417 --> 00:30:14,421
♪ Zol yeder bazunder
bazingen dem vunder ♪
614
00:30:14,464 --> 00:30:16,205
♪ Un tantzen
615
00:30:16,249 --> 00:30:19,861
♪ Larry, Curly and Moe
616
00:30:19,905 --> 00:30:22,995
[Cheering]
617
00:30:23,038 --> 00:30:24,823
That's no Finkelstein.
618
00:30:24,866 --> 00:30:29,131
Oh, what's the matter with you?I hardly know the words.
619
00:30:29,175 --> 00:30:31,220
You hardly know your name.
620
00:30:31,264 --> 00:30:33,570
He could be a little rabbi.
621
00:30:35,659 --> 00:30:45,582
♪
622
00:30:50,283 --> 00:30:52,546
MAN ON RADIO:
That's right, folks.
Don't miss it.
623
00:30:52,589 --> 00:30:56,028
Marching right down Main Street at 11:00 this morning,
624
00:30:56,071 --> 00:31:01,033
it's the annual
Christmastown parade.
625
00:31:01,076 --> 00:31:04,340
[Door opening]
626
00:31:04,384 --> 00:31:06,734
Jessica! Jessica!We're going to miss the parade!
627
00:31:06,777 --> 00:31:08,170
It starts in ten minutes.
628
00:31:08,214 --> 00:31:10,042
What are you doing in my room?
629
00:31:10,085 --> 00:31:11,391
The parade's going to start.
Come on.
630
00:31:11,434 --> 00:31:13,523
Good.
631
00:31:13,567 --> 00:31:15,786
You're supposed to take
me and Mikey to Christmastown.
632
00:31:15,830 --> 00:31:17,136
Mom promised.
633
00:31:17,179 --> 00:31:21,357
Now you know what a promise
from Mom is worth.
634
00:31:21,401 --> 00:31:22,532
Don't you want to go?
635
00:31:22,576 --> 00:31:24,099
No.
636
00:31:24,143 --> 00:31:25,927
Why would I want to watch
some dumb parade
637
00:31:25,971 --> 00:31:28,321
and see a bunch of stuff
I don't have any money to buy?
638
00:31:28,364 --> 00:31:29,844
I have some money.
639
00:31:29,888 --> 00:31:31,628
Please.
640
00:31:31,672 --> 00:31:35,632
No, I do.
641
00:31:35,676 --> 00:31:37,634
It's my vacation money,
642
00:31:37,678 --> 00:31:39,201
$30.
643
00:31:39,245 --> 00:31:41,247
Are you bribing her?
644
00:31:41,290 --> 00:31:42,639
Yes.
645
00:31:42,683 --> 00:31:43,597
Hand it over.
646
00:31:43,640 --> 00:31:45,947
No. She has no scruples, Mikey.
647
00:31:45,991 --> 00:31:47,949
Don't give her a cent
till we see the whites
648
00:31:47,993 --> 00:31:49,733
of those reindeers' eyes.
649
00:31:49,777 --> 00:31:52,214
You're a brat.
650
00:31:52,258 --> 00:31:53,694
Get dressed.
651
00:31:53,737 --> 00:31:55,000
Yes!Woo!
652
00:31:55,043 --> 00:32:03,704
♪
653
00:32:03,747 --> 00:32:07,708
[Cheering]
654
00:32:07,751 --> 00:32:15,455
♪
655
00:32:15,498 --> 00:32:18,197
I can't see.
656
00:32:18,240 --> 00:32:21,548
Come on, this way.
657
00:32:21,591 --> 00:32:29,556
♪
658
00:32:29,599 --> 00:32:31,253
[Laughing]
659
00:32:31,297 --> 00:32:34,300
ANNOUNCER:
Well, here he comes,
the old man in red.
660
00:32:34,343 --> 00:32:37,433
Ladies and gentlemen,
Santa Claus.
661
00:32:37,477 --> 00:32:42,395
[Cheering]
662
00:32:44,701 --> 00:32:45,833
What do you think?
663
00:32:45,876 --> 00:32:47,008
Fantastic!
664
00:32:47,052 --> 00:32:49,402
That'll be $30, sucker.
665
00:32:54,059 --> 00:32:58,324
Meet me at the lamppost at 6:00.See you, losers.
666
00:32:58,367 --> 00:33:01,675
Well, that's it, folks.
667
00:33:01,718 --> 00:33:04,199
And now, the wonders of
Christmastown await you.
668
00:33:04,243 --> 00:33:06,375
Don't forget to visit
all of our great stores.
669
00:33:06,419 --> 00:33:08,508
What should we do now?
670
00:33:08,551 --> 00:33:10,510
I don't know.
I gave Jessica all my money.
671
00:33:10,553 --> 00:33:12,294
Santa's Workshop,
672
00:33:12,338 --> 00:33:14,905
Kringle Korner,
Gingerbread Palace:
673
00:33:14,949 --> 00:33:16,907
Do yourself a favour, folks,
674
00:33:16,951 --> 00:33:21,042
'cause Christmas comes
but once a year.
675
00:33:21,086 --> 00:33:23,044
Of course,
I do have a credit card.
676
00:33:23,088 --> 00:33:25,873
But I'm only supposed to use it
in an emergency.
677
00:33:25,916 --> 00:33:27,657
Oh, but this is an emergency.
678
00:33:27,701 --> 00:33:31,052
When will I ever, ever
get to do this again?
679
00:33:31,096 --> 00:33:32,706
Christmastown is ours!
680
00:33:32,749 --> 00:33:34,534
[Cheering]
681
00:33:39,365 --> 00:33:40,322
I love it.
682
00:33:40,366 --> 00:33:41,454
Let's get it.
683
00:33:41,497 --> 00:33:45,458
♪ Take the town,
it waits for you ♪
684
00:33:45,501 --> 00:33:49,027
♪ All the things
you long to do ♪
685
00:33:49,070 --> 00:33:51,681
♪ Now your Christmas dreams
come true ♪
686
00:33:51,725 --> 00:33:54,119
♪ Ira, Ira
687
00:33:54,162 --> 00:33:57,383
♪ Feel the rush of frosty air
688
00:33:57,426 --> 00:34:00,255
♪ Shake the snowflakes
689
00:34:00,299 --> 00:34:02,649
♪ From your hair
690
00:34:02,692 --> 00:34:06,044
♪ So much Christmas joy
to share ♪
691
00:34:06,087 --> 00:34:07,915
♪ Ira
692
00:34:07,958 --> 00:34:11,092
♪ Ira
693
00:34:14,704 --> 00:34:19,013
I'm the evil emperor Torg.
I will destroy you, Karate Don.
694
00:34:19,057 --> 00:34:22,582
Sworn enemy of all that is good,I will fight you.
695
00:34:22,625 --> 00:34:26,064
[Grunting]
696
00:34:26,107 --> 00:34:33,593
♪
697
00:34:41,166 --> 00:34:44,125
I love that little menorah.
698
00:34:44,169 --> 00:34:46,780
I celebrate Kwanza myself.
699
00:34:46,823 --> 00:34:48,129
I like your store.
700
00:34:48,173 --> 00:34:50,871
Community and culture,
701
00:34:50,914 --> 00:34:52,351
that's what it's all about,right?
702
00:34:52,394 --> 00:34:54,483
Something for everyone?
703
00:34:54,527 --> 00:34:58,139
There you go.
704
00:34:58,183 --> 00:35:00,881
Happy Hanukkah.
705
00:35:00,924 --> 00:35:05,886
And merry Christmas
and happy Kwanza
706
00:35:05,929 --> 00:35:07,148
and happy holidays.
707
00:35:07,192 --> 00:35:10,760
You too, Ira.
708
00:35:10,804 --> 00:35:12,588
"Ira"?
709
00:35:16,723 --> 00:35:18,942
Who's Ira?
710
00:35:18,986 --> 00:35:22,337
Oh, it's the name on the creditcard, my dad's name.
711
00:35:22,381 --> 00:35:24,687
Your dad is Uncle Steve.
712
00:35:24,731 --> 00:35:28,169
Right, Steve is actuallymy dad's middle name.
713
00:35:28,213 --> 00:35:31,041
His first name is Ira.Did you not know that?
714
00:35:31,085 --> 00:35:32,521
Weird.
715
00:35:32,565 --> 00:35:34,349
Can we go get hot chocolate,
Mikey?
716
00:35:34,393 --> 00:35:35,481
You bet.
717
00:35:35,524 --> 00:35:37,570
Mikey rules!
718
00:35:37,613 --> 00:35:39,746
Christmastown rules.And we rule Christmastown.
719
00:35:39,789 --> 00:35:42,096
Hi-ya!
720
00:35:42,140 --> 00:35:50,452
♪
721
00:35:50,496 --> 00:35:52,585
[Laughing]
722
00:35:52,628 --> 00:35:54,848
Who's that?
723
00:35:54,891 --> 00:35:56,502
That's Jack the jerk.
724
00:35:59,983 --> 00:36:03,030
Sworn enemy of all that is good.
725
00:36:03,073 --> 00:36:06,555
Mikey, let's get out of here.
726
00:36:06,599 --> 00:36:08,078
Look at the Christmas wuss.
727
00:36:08,122 --> 00:36:10,342
Leave my cousin alone.
He's just visiting.
728
00:36:10,385 --> 00:36:12,344
Dork.
729
00:36:12,387 --> 00:36:14,346
"Visiting", huh?
730
00:36:14,389 --> 00:36:16,913
[Growling]
731
00:36:16,957 --> 00:36:18,611
How do you like Christmastown?
732
00:36:18,654 --> 00:36:20,047
It's great.
733
00:36:20,090 --> 00:36:24,530
Great if you're a spoiled
little Christmas wuss.
734
00:36:24,573 --> 00:36:26,532
Don't you know Christmas
is for everyone?
735
00:36:26,575 --> 00:36:29,230
I think so too.
736
00:36:29,274 --> 00:36:31,276
Then I bet you won't mind makingan end-of-the-year donation
737
00:36:31,319 --> 00:36:34,279
to an underprivileged child.
738
00:36:34,322 --> 00:36:35,628
Yeah.
739
00:36:35,671 --> 00:36:37,238
No, no. I don't have any money.
740
00:36:37,282 --> 00:36:38,718
He gave it all to my sister.
741
00:36:38,761 --> 00:36:40,676
You better have
something good in that bag.
742
00:36:40,720 --> 00:36:42,025
No! That's mine!
743
00:36:42,069 --> 00:36:45,377
Shut up!
744
00:36:45,420 --> 00:36:49,946
What am I supposed to do
with this stupid thing?
745
00:36:53,341 --> 00:36:57,127
[Laughing]
746
00:36:57,171 --> 00:36:59,347
Only wusses
have gingerbread houses.
747
00:36:59,391 --> 00:37:03,873
[Grunting]
748
00:37:03,917 --> 00:37:06,049
I worked really hard on that.
749
00:37:06,093 --> 00:37:07,616
Then you're even dumber
than you look.
750
00:37:07,660 --> 00:37:09,966
You better not pout.
751
00:37:10,010 --> 00:37:10,967
You better not cry.
752
00:37:11,011 --> 00:37:11,968
Yeah!
753
00:37:12,012 --> 00:37:13,187
Nice!
754
00:37:13,231 --> 00:37:15,537
Stay out of Christmastown,
or next time,
755
00:37:15,581 --> 00:37:17,844
I'll break more than your
gingerbread. You understand?
756
00:37:17,887 --> 00:37:20,020
[Growling]
757
00:37:20,063 --> 00:37:21,369
Answer me, four eyes!
758
00:37:21,413 --> 00:37:22,979
Yes, I understand!
759
00:37:23,023 --> 00:37:25,460
What's the matter?
760
00:37:25,504 --> 00:37:28,028
You don't like dogs?
761
00:37:28,071 --> 00:37:29,029
Please, don't sic him on me.
762
00:37:29,072 --> 00:37:31,249
I'll give you anything.
763
00:37:31,292 --> 00:37:32,380
It's okay, Mikey. Calm down.
764
00:37:32,424 --> 00:37:35,035
Is the dog going to kill Mikey?
765
00:37:35,078 --> 00:37:38,081
No, this is a nice dog.That's why I named him "Killer".
766
00:37:38,125 --> 00:37:40,170
Don't kill me, Killer!
767
00:37:40,214 --> 00:37:42,303
You want a race? Let's race!
768
00:37:42,347 --> 00:37:45,393
Run, Christmas boy. Hope you
make it to the North Pole.
769
00:37:45,437 --> 00:37:47,874
Go get him. I said "Get him!"
770
00:37:47,917 --> 00:37:49,745
[Barking]
771
00:37:49,789 --> 00:37:50,746
[Laughing]
772
00:37:50,790 --> 00:37:53,401
Ah!
773
00:37:55,969 --> 00:37:59,712
[Barking]
774
00:37:59,755 --> 00:38:01,975
Ah!
775
00:38:02,018 --> 00:38:03,846
[Barking]
776
00:38:03,890 --> 00:38:09,896
♪
777
00:38:09,939 --> 00:38:14,901
[Panting]
778
00:38:14,944 --> 00:38:23,344
♪
779
00:38:37,358 --> 00:38:41,057
[Barking]
780
00:38:41,101 --> 00:38:43,451
[Growling]
781
00:38:46,062 --> 00:38:47,847
[Growling]
782
00:38:51,546 --> 00:38:55,550
[Panting]
783
00:39:04,516 --> 00:39:05,952
This is so much fun.
784
00:39:05,995 --> 00:39:07,040
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
785
00:39:07,083 --> 00:39:08,389
Wait till we start
to find stuff.
786
00:39:08,433 --> 00:39:10,826
[Phone ringing]
787
00:39:10,870 --> 00:39:12,219
Hello?
788
00:39:12,262 --> 00:39:14,134
Mikey, it's me, Ira.
789
00:39:14,177 --> 00:39:15,788
Who?
790
00:39:15,831 --> 00:39:17,050
Pay dirt! Pay dirt!
791
00:39:17,093 --> 00:39:19,182
Ira, Ira Finkelstein.
792
00:39:19,226 --> 00:39:22,055
I'm sorry.You must have the wrong number.
793
00:39:22,098 --> 00:39:23,926
I'm Ira Finkelstein.
794
00:39:23,970 --> 00:39:26,581
Best grandson in the world.
795
00:39:26,625 --> 00:39:27,800
What?
796
00:39:27,843 --> 00:39:29,454
I'm sorry. I have to go now.
797
00:39:29,497 --> 00:39:31,194
Me and grandpa arehunting for treasure.
798
00:39:31,238 --> 00:39:32,848
And we just foundanother quarter!
799
00:39:32,892 --> 00:39:35,851
Goodbye, shmendrik.
800
00:39:35,895 --> 00:39:36,852
See you, Mikey.
801
00:39:36,896 --> 00:39:38,332
Come on, Ira.
802
00:39:38,376 --> 00:39:42,249
No, Mikey, I want to trade back!
803
00:39:45,557 --> 00:39:48,603
[Coughing]
804
00:39:53,521 --> 00:39:55,262
Who is this that cometh
out of the wilderness?
805
00:39:55,305 --> 00:39:59,179
Speak up, space creature!
806
00:39:59,222 --> 00:40:02,051
Or have you lost your wits
in the storm?
807
00:40:02,095 --> 00:40:06,665
Who are you?
808
00:40:06,708 --> 00:40:10,669
Who's your favouritereindeer now?
809
00:40:10,712 --> 00:40:15,630
You are. And you're smoking.
810
00:40:15,674 --> 00:40:19,678
Jennifer...
811
00:40:19,721 --> 00:40:22,507
Who is this that cometh
out of the wilderness?
812
00:40:22,550 --> 00:40:26,206
Speak up, space creature.
813
00:40:26,249 --> 00:40:30,297
Or have you lost your witsin the storm?
814
00:40:30,340 --> 00:40:31,603
Who are you?
815
00:40:33,996 --> 00:40:38,479
Who are you?
816
00:40:38,523 --> 00:40:41,003
You know what,
this is really pretty good.
817
00:40:43,092 --> 00:40:46,052
It's got that winter fresh
kind of... Oh, okay.
818
00:40:46,095 --> 00:40:47,836
Sorry. Okay.
819
00:40:47,880 --> 00:40:50,360
Umm... Ah, line.
820
00:40:50,404 --> 00:40:52,754
Okay.
821
00:40:52,798 --> 00:40:54,495
"I'm the reindeer
from Planet Nine."
822
00:40:54,539 --> 00:40:56,497
"Nine", right.
823
00:40:56,541 --> 00:40:58,847
"Move over, Blitzen,
'cause this woman driver's
824
00:40:58,891 --> 00:41:00,414
going to drive
your sleigh tonight."
825
00:41:00,458 --> 00:41:01,720
Got it.Got it?
826
00:41:01,763 --> 00:41:02,851
No problem.
827
00:41:02,895 --> 00:41:04,200
Great.Copy that.
828
00:41:04,244 --> 00:41:06,594
All right, one more time
from the top, everybody.
829
00:41:06,638 --> 00:41:08,509
Here we go, making movies.
830
00:41:08,553 --> 00:41:09,989
Quiet on the set, please.
831
00:41:10,032 --> 00:41:13,209
I feel it on this one.
832
00:41:13,253 --> 00:41:14,428
Edna, Louis, you're doing great.
833
00:41:14,472 --> 00:41:17,213
Thank you, Max. Thank you, Max.Thank you.
834
00:41:17,257 --> 00:41:19,259
Okay, slate in.
835
00:41:19,302 --> 00:41:20,782
[Slate clapping]
836
00:41:20,826 --> 00:41:22,871
All right, it's sparkly.There's candy canes everywhere.
837
00:41:22,915 --> 00:41:25,613
You're a reindeer.
Be the reindeer.
838
00:41:25,657 --> 00:41:28,050
And action!
839
00:41:28,094 --> 00:41:30,357
[Coughing]
840
00:41:36,450 --> 00:41:39,192
Who is this that cometh
out of the wilderness?
841
00:41:39,235 --> 00:41:42,543
Speak up, space creature!
842
00:41:42,587 --> 00:41:45,285
Or have you lost your witsin the storm?
843
00:41:45,328 --> 00:41:48,854
Who are you?
844
00:41:48,897 --> 00:41:52,466
I am the eighth reindeer.
845
00:41:52,510 --> 00:41:55,469
So, move over, Pixie,
because this sleigh's
846
00:41:55,513 --> 00:42:00,039
going to drive your blitzed-out
woman home tonight.
847
00:42:00,082 --> 00:42:02,694
Perfect. Cut.
848
00:42:02,737 --> 00:42:05,697
Moving on. Great job.
849
00:42:05,740 --> 00:42:06,698
Max, it's Ira.
850
00:42:06,741 --> 00:42:08,569
Hey, Ira, honey. How are you?
851
00:42:08,613 --> 00:42:10,440
That's a long story.
852
00:42:10,484 --> 00:42:12,660
We miss you, sweetie.
853
00:42:12,704 --> 00:42:13,879
I miss you too, Mom,
854
00:42:13,922 --> 00:42:16,229
a lot.
855
00:42:16,272 --> 00:42:17,796
Rosie? Bring the Pookie.
856
00:42:17,839 --> 00:42:19,798
Coming, Jennifer.
857
00:42:19,841 --> 00:42:21,756
Mom, I have to
tell you something.
858
00:42:21,800 --> 00:42:23,541
Honey, I'm going to pass youover to your father.
859
00:42:23,584 --> 00:42:25,586
I'll talk to you soon.I love you.
860
00:42:25,630 --> 00:42:27,632
It's Ira.
861
00:42:27,675 --> 00:42:30,548
Ira, I just talked to
your grandfather.
862
00:42:30,591 --> 00:42:32,027
You did?
863
00:42:32,071 --> 00:42:35,422
Yeah, he called me
this morning.
864
00:42:35,465 --> 00:42:38,425
Now, I know you weren't crazy
about going to Florida.
865
00:42:38,468 --> 00:42:41,559
But your grandfather says you'returning into quite a man.
866
00:42:41,602 --> 00:42:43,952
They can't get enough of you.
867
00:42:43,996 --> 00:42:47,303
You got rave reviews, buddy.
868
00:42:47,347 --> 00:42:49,131
Oh.
869
00:42:49,175 --> 00:42:50,132
[Crying]
870
00:42:50,176 --> 00:42:51,133
What's wrong, pal?
871
00:42:51,177 --> 00:42:55,616
Nothing. What could be wrong?
872
00:42:55,660 --> 00:42:58,750
Well, it takes a grown-up
kid to turn disappointment
873
00:42:58,793 --> 00:43:00,795
into happiness.
874
00:43:00,839 --> 00:43:03,232
I'm proud of you.
"A" for effort.
875
00:43:03,276 --> 00:43:05,713
Max! Max!
876
00:43:05,757 --> 00:43:08,847
Yeah, I got to go.
We'll talk tonight.
877
00:43:08,890 --> 00:43:09,935
I love you.
878
00:43:14,113 --> 00:43:15,810
Was I great?Amazing.
879
00:43:15,854 --> 00:43:18,204
Try this.
880
00:43:18,247 --> 00:43:20,902
Mmm, yeah, delicious.
881
00:43:20,946 --> 00:43:24,471
Okay, uhh, can I have a glass ofwater, please? Let's move.
882
00:43:39,573 --> 00:43:45,535
♪
883
00:44:09,472 --> 00:44:10,691
Ah!
884
00:44:10,735 --> 00:44:14,869
Ow.
885
00:44:14,913 --> 00:44:17,219
Santa?
886
00:44:17,263 --> 00:44:21,920
You were expecting?
887
00:44:21,963 --> 00:44:25,488
You look like
you had a rough day.
888
00:44:25,532 --> 00:44:27,142
Who you hiding from?
889
00:44:27,186 --> 00:44:32,017
Oh, this bully, Jack the jerk.I'm banished from Christmastown.
890
00:44:32,060 --> 00:44:33,932
Impossible.
891
00:44:33,975 --> 00:44:36,717
Our people have contributed
to Christmas for years.
892
00:44:36,761 --> 00:44:39,285
"Our people"?
893
00:44:39,328 --> 00:44:42,592
Murray Lefkowitz
at your service.
894
00:44:42,636 --> 00:44:44,943
A Jewish Santa?
895
00:44:44,986 --> 00:44:48,555
Who else would work
on Christmas? And you are?
896
00:44:48,598 --> 00:44:50,818
Ira, Ira Finkelstein.
897
00:44:50,862 --> 00:44:53,865
Don't tell anyone.I'm incognito.
898
00:44:53,908 --> 00:44:58,652
Ooh. Ira, you know the song
"White Christmas"?
899
00:44:58,696 --> 00:45:00,045
Of course. I love that movie.
900
00:45:00,088 --> 00:45:02,612
A Christmas classic, yes,
901
00:45:02,656 --> 00:45:06,965
written by a Jewish writer,
directed by a Jewish director,
902
00:45:07,008 --> 00:45:09,707
and the songs courtesy of
the great Irving Berlin,
903
00:45:09,750 --> 00:45:12,187
also a member of the tribe.
904
00:45:12,231 --> 00:45:14,233
No way.
905
00:45:14,276 --> 00:45:15,408
"Let it Snow! Let it Snow!",
906
00:45:15,451 --> 00:45:17,366
written by Sammy Cahn
and Jule Styne,
907
00:45:17,410 --> 00:45:19,978
Jew one and Jew two.
908
00:45:20,021 --> 00:45:23,155
"Silver Bells",
"Winter Wonderland",
909
00:45:23,198 --> 00:45:26,375
"Chestnuts Roasting on anOpen Fire", we're batting 1.000.
910
00:45:26,419 --> 00:45:27,768
Go ahead, try one.
911
00:45:27,812 --> 00:45:30,858
"Rudolph theRed-Nosed Reindeer".
912
00:45:30,902 --> 00:45:32,642
Funny you should say that:
Johnny Marks, Jewish.
913
00:45:32,686 --> 00:45:35,036
He also wrote "Rockin' Around
the Christmas Tree" and
914
00:45:35,080 --> 00:45:37,212
"Have a Holly Jolly Christmas".
915
00:45:37,256 --> 00:45:38,736
That's crazy.
916
00:45:38,779 --> 00:45:42,783
Is it?
917
00:45:42,827 --> 00:45:44,437
Ira, you want me to walk you
to where you're going,
918
00:45:44,480 --> 00:45:48,006
make sure you get there safe?
919
00:45:48,049 --> 00:45:50,356
No, thanks.
920
00:45:50,399 --> 00:45:53,925
I can do it.
921
00:45:53,968 --> 00:45:57,711
Atta boy!
922
00:45:57,755 --> 00:46:00,540
♪ On the 12th day of Christmas,my true love gave to me ♪
923
00:46:00,583 --> 00:46:01,976
♪ 12 drummers drumming,
11 pipers piping ♪
924
00:46:02,020 --> 00:46:04,196
♪ 10 lords a-leaping,
9 ladies dancing ♪
925
00:46:04,239 --> 00:46:06,154
♪ 8 maids a-milking,
7 swans a-swimming ♪
926
00:46:06,198 --> 00:46:08,026
♪ 6 geese a-laying
927
00:46:08,069 --> 00:46:12,204
♪ 5 golden rings
928
00:46:12,247 --> 00:46:13,727
Mikey, are you okay?
929
00:46:13,771 --> 00:46:16,382
Yeah. I hid in a tree.
930
00:46:16,425 --> 00:46:19,385
I am sorry aboutall of your stuff.
931
00:46:19,428 --> 00:46:23,606
Oh, it's okay. We shouldn't have
bought it in the first place.
932
00:46:23,650 --> 00:46:25,826
I guess we try and take Jessica
to take us home now.
933
00:46:25,870 --> 00:46:28,002
Hey, she's pretty good.
934
00:46:28,046 --> 00:46:30,309
♪ Pear tree
935
00:46:30,352 --> 00:46:31,832
I know.
936
00:46:31,876 --> 00:46:32,833
I hate her.
937
00:46:32,877 --> 00:46:33,834
How about another?
938
00:46:33,878 --> 00:46:34,835
Mikey?
939
00:46:34,879 --> 00:46:36,054
Yeah?
940
00:46:36,097 --> 00:46:37,838
I want to show you somethingkind of cool.
941
00:46:37,882 --> 00:46:39,361
At least I think it's cool.
942
00:46:39,405 --> 00:46:41,581
I've never taken anybodythere before.
943
00:46:41,624 --> 00:46:44,758
Will Jack the jerk be there?
944
00:46:44,802 --> 00:46:46,064
Definitely not.
945
00:46:46,107 --> 00:46:48,283
Sounds perfect to me.
946
00:46:48,327 --> 00:46:52,853
♪ Who wouldn't go? Ho, ho, ho
947
00:46:52,897 --> 00:46:55,029
♪ Who wouldn't go?
948
00:46:55,073 --> 00:46:57,379
[Phone ringing]
949
00:46:57,423 --> 00:46:59,468
Good evening, Town Hall.
950
00:46:59,512 --> 00:47:00,861
Hi, Mrs. Levy.
951
00:47:00,905 --> 00:47:03,951
How you doing, sweetheart?
Go ahead. Go ahead.
952
00:47:03,995 --> 00:47:08,173
No, no, I wasn't talking to you.Please, I'm a professional.
953
00:47:08,216 --> 00:47:10,175
Now, what do you want?
954
00:47:16,398 --> 00:47:20,054
Wow.
955
00:47:24,493 --> 00:47:26,365
This place is great.
956
00:47:26,408 --> 00:47:30,804
It's my secret hideout.
It's over 100 years old.
957
00:47:30,848 --> 00:47:33,720
Mrs. Levy said people used to
do vaudeville here.
958
00:47:33,763 --> 00:47:36,723
"Vaudeville", really?Oh, that's so cool.
959
00:47:36,766 --> 00:47:40,248
My grandpa was in vaudeville.He was a tap dancer.
960
00:47:40,292 --> 00:47:42,381
Does he still dance?
961
00:47:42,424 --> 00:47:43,512
I don't know.
962
00:47:43,556 --> 00:47:45,906
I haven't seen him in a while.
963
00:47:45,950 --> 00:47:47,038
Oh.
964
00:47:47,081 --> 00:47:49,518
I wish he couldsee this place though.
965
00:47:49,562 --> 00:47:51,607
I knew you'd like it.
966
00:47:51,651 --> 00:47:54,959
Hey. Wow, look atall this great stuff.
967
00:47:55,002 --> 00:47:57,526
[Blowing]
968
00:47:57,570 --> 00:47:59,180
[Coughing]
969
00:47:59,224 --> 00:48:02,488
You know, they really ought tofix this place up.
970
00:48:02,531 --> 00:48:04,533
Mrs. Levy said the town
doesn't have the money.
971
00:48:04,577 --> 00:48:07,449
I don't think anyoneever comes here but me.
972
00:48:07,493 --> 00:48:10,713
What do you do here?
973
00:48:10,757 --> 00:48:14,239
Stuff.
974
00:48:14,282 --> 00:48:15,457
Oh.
975
00:48:15,501 --> 00:48:19,331
You really shouldn'tlook at that.
976
00:48:19,374 --> 00:48:21,420
You wrote a Christmas song?
977
00:48:21,463 --> 00:48:22,900
I like to sing.
978
00:48:22,943 --> 00:48:27,513
I just don't do it in front ofanyone. I'm too nervous.
979
00:48:27,556 --> 00:48:30,124
How did you
know how to write it?
980
00:48:30,168 --> 00:48:31,909
I don't know.
981
00:48:31,952 --> 00:48:35,869
I just did it,probably not very good.
982
00:48:35,913 --> 00:48:37,653
But I could maybeplay it for you tomorrow.
983
00:48:37,697 --> 00:48:41,744
We could pretend like
we're in a show.
984
00:48:41,788 --> 00:48:45,531
"Pretend"?
985
00:48:45,574 --> 00:48:49,317
No, pretend nothing.
Let's do it.
986
00:48:49,361 --> 00:48:53,495
Let's put on a Christmas play.
987
00:48:53,539 --> 00:48:56,542
What are you talking about?
988
00:48:56,585 --> 00:48:58,587
I'll write the script.
And I'll direct it.
989
00:48:58,631 --> 00:49:00,067
You can sing your song.
990
00:49:00,111 --> 00:49:02,200
Jessica and Spike
can play their guitar.
991
00:49:02,243 --> 00:49:07,031
Oh my gosh,
it's a Christmas musical!
992
00:49:07,074 --> 00:49:10,686
You're crazy. I can't singin front of an audience.
993
00:49:10,730 --> 00:49:13,515
And you can't direct a play.
994
00:49:13,559 --> 00:49:15,865
Says who? My dad's a director.
995
00:49:15,909 --> 00:49:17,780
Uncle Steve?
996
00:49:17,824 --> 00:49:19,260
Sure, Uncle Steve.
997
00:49:19,304 --> 00:49:22,307
Look, Clare, we have to do this.
998
00:49:22,350 --> 00:49:25,223
This will be our way of
making our own Christmas,
999
00:49:25,266 --> 00:49:28,400
something that no one
can take away from us.
1000
00:49:28,443 --> 00:49:31,359
What if my song stinks?
1001
00:49:31,403 --> 00:49:34,493
Clare, I'm sure your Christmas
song is very good,
1002
00:49:34,536 --> 00:49:36,756
even if you're not Jewish.
1003
00:49:36,799 --> 00:49:39,324
This is our chance
1004
00:49:39,367 --> 00:49:42,109
to have people listen
to what we have to say.
1005
00:49:42,153 --> 00:49:44,329
Come on, Clare.
1006
00:49:44,372 --> 00:49:46,766
Will you do it?
1007
00:49:46,809 --> 00:49:50,030
Yes!
1008
00:49:50,074 --> 00:49:53,599
I love you, Mikey!
You're the best cousin ever!
1009
00:49:58,038 --> 00:49:59,909
What's wrong?
1010
00:49:59,953 --> 00:50:03,217
Oh, nothing.
1011
00:50:03,261 --> 00:50:06,873
Mikey, what?
1012
00:50:06,916 --> 00:50:09,093
Please tell me.
1013
00:50:09,136 --> 00:50:11,617
No, I can't.
1014
00:50:11,660 --> 00:50:14,533
Yes, you can. Come on.
1015
00:50:19,103 --> 00:50:21,888
I trusted you
with my secret hideout.
1016
00:50:26,197 --> 00:50:30,940
You're going to be really mad.
1017
00:50:30,984 --> 00:50:34,727
Just tell me, Mikey. Whatever itis, it's better not to lie.
1018
00:50:38,600 --> 00:50:40,515
I'm not your cousin.
1019
00:50:40,559 --> 00:50:42,213
What?
1020
00:50:42,256 --> 00:50:45,346
I'm not your cousin, okay?I'm not Mikey.
1021
00:50:45,390 --> 00:50:49,307
I'm Ira J. Finkelstein. Me andMikey, we met at the airport.
1022
00:50:49,350 --> 00:50:51,004
We swapped places.
1023
00:50:51,048 --> 00:50:52,397
He's in Florida right now,
1024
00:50:52,440 --> 00:50:55,791
having a really great time
with my grandparents.
1025
00:50:55,835 --> 00:50:58,098
I hate him.And I hate my parents too.
1026
00:50:58,142 --> 00:51:00,318
And Julie and Uncle Steve?
1027
00:51:00,361 --> 00:51:04,583
No! Rosie and Max Finkelstein
of Hollywood, California.
1028
00:51:04,626 --> 00:51:06,411
They're making a movie right nowwith Desperate Jane
1029
00:51:06,454 --> 00:51:07,760
who I also hate.
1030
00:51:07,803 --> 00:51:09,675
You know what,
they don't even miss me.
1031
00:51:09,718 --> 00:51:11,198
I thought it would be
worth getting in trouble
1032
00:51:11,242 --> 00:51:12,721
to see some snow
and have Christmas.
1033
00:51:12,765 --> 00:51:16,116
But now nobody even cares.
1034
00:51:16,160 --> 00:51:21,165
I care.
1035
00:51:21,208 --> 00:51:25,386
I'm having a really goodChristmas. It's because of you.
1036
00:51:25,430 --> 00:51:27,345
Really?
1037
00:51:27,388 --> 00:51:31,131
Yeah.
1038
00:51:31,175 --> 00:51:35,222
Thanks.
1039
00:51:35,266 --> 00:51:37,268
I guess it's timeto come clean.
1040
00:51:37,311 --> 00:51:38,530
You're going to tell?
1041
00:51:38,573 --> 00:51:41,489
I have to.I can't keep this up forever.
1042
00:51:41,533 --> 00:51:43,883
Ira Finkelstein,
1043
00:51:43,926 --> 00:51:46,190
you are directing me
in a Christmas musical
1044
00:51:46,233 --> 00:51:48,017
on Christmas Eve.
1045
00:51:48,061 --> 00:51:50,629
Promise me you won't say
one word till after the show.
1046
00:51:50,672 --> 00:51:52,979
You really think we can do it?
1047
00:51:53,022 --> 00:51:56,287
Of course. Shake?
1048
00:51:59,768 --> 00:52:01,988
Shake.
1049
00:52:02,031 --> 00:52:05,165
[Knocking]
1050
00:52:05,209 --> 00:52:06,993
Got a minute?
1051
00:52:07,036 --> 00:52:10,605
I'm on Facebook.
1052
00:52:10,649 --> 00:52:12,651
We have a favour to ask you.
1053
00:52:12,694 --> 00:52:14,827
No, a business proposition.
1054
00:52:14,870 --> 00:52:19,875
Wow, I feel like
a success already.
1055
00:52:19,919 --> 00:52:21,790
Now, you may not know thisabout me, Jessica.
1056
00:52:21,834 --> 00:52:24,793
But I'm a director.
1057
00:52:24,837 --> 00:52:26,534
I think you'd be just perfectfor an important part
1058
00:52:26,578 --> 00:52:29,058
in my upcomingChristmas pageant.
1059
00:52:29,102 --> 00:52:30,625
It's the heart-warming role
1060
00:52:30,669 --> 00:52:34,194
of a guitar player and her band
who accompany the singers.
1061
00:52:34,238 --> 00:52:36,153
And based on what I sawon Main Street,
1062
00:52:36,196 --> 00:52:38,329
I'm excited to offer you,Jessica,
1063
00:52:38,372 --> 00:52:42,376
the part right now.You don't even have to audition.
1064
00:52:42,420 --> 00:52:44,248
Oh my God.
1065
00:52:44,291 --> 00:52:45,510
I'm so honoured.
1066
00:52:45,553 --> 00:52:46,859
That's terrific.
1067
00:52:46,902 --> 00:52:49,209
She's being sarcastic.
1068
00:52:49,253 --> 00:52:50,732
Me? Never.
1069
00:52:50,776 --> 00:52:53,387
I would love to waste
my Christmas vacation time
1070
00:52:53,431 --> 00:52:55,607
mortifying myself in
a brain-damaged Christmas play
1071
00:52:55,650 --> 00:52:57,348
put on by babies.
1072
00:52:57,391 --> 00:53:00,351
Jessica, you're an
awesome guitar player.
1073
00:53:00,394 --> 00:53:03,702
Don't you want to be on stage?
1074
00:53:03,745 --> 00:53:05,356
Not with you guys.
1075
00:53:05,399 --> 00:53:10,361
Forget it. I knew she'd say no.
1076
00:53:10,404 --> 00:53:12,450
How much?
1077
00:53:12,493 --> 00:53:14,234
What?
1078
00:53:14,278 --> 00:53:16,454
You said it was
a business proposition.
1079
00:53:16,497 --> 00:53:18,195
How much are you
willing to pay me?
1080
00:53:18,238 --> 00:53:21,154
Umm,
1081
00:53:21,198 --> 00:53:23,635
it's kind of alabour of love type thing.
1082
00:53:23,678 --> 00:53:26,638
I'll do it for 50 bucks.
1083
00:53:26,681 --> 00:53:29,118
I guess I could go to a cashmachine with my credit card.
1084
00:53:29,162 --> 00:53:31,208
Jessica, don't.
1085
00:53:31,251 --> 00:53:34,428
He's going to get inso much trouble.
1086
00:53:34,472 --> 00:53:37,344
But we need music.
1087
00:53:37,388 --> 00:53:38,650
[Sighing]
1088
00:53:38,693 --> 00:53:43,045
Jessica, please, for me.
1089
00:53:43,089 --> 00:53:45,657
Is there even a place
to plug my amp in?
1090
00:53:45,700 --> 00:53:46,658
Yes.
1091
00:53:46,701 --> 00:53:47,659
Yes.
1092
00:53:47,702 --> 00:53:50,139
Okay,
1093
00:53:50,183 --> 00:53:53,839
but we're not wearing
any stupid holiday costumers.
1094
00:53:53,882 --> 00:53:56,015
Don't worry. I think your owncostumes are great.
1095
00:53:56,058 --> 00:54:02,500
♪
1096
00:54:02,543 --> 00:54:04,806
Get... Get off.
1097
00:54:04,850 --> 00:54:08,114
Love you, Jessica.
1098
00:54:08,157 --> 00:54:10,464
Thank you.
1099
00:54:10,508 --> 00:54:13,772
Dork.
1100
00:54:13,815 --> 00:54:23,564
♪
1101
00:55:02,603 --> 00:55:04,736
"Christmas is For Everyone"!
1102
00:55:04,779 --> 00:55:06,694
A new musical!
1103
00:55:06,738 --> 00:55:08,609
By Mikey Amato.
1104
00:55:08,653 --> 00:55:10,132
Or Ira Finkelstein.
1105
00:55:10,176 --> 00:55:11,351
Music and lyrics by...
1106
00:55:11,395 --> 00:55:13,005
Clare Wilson.
1107
00:55:13,048 --> 00:55:23,058
♪
1108
00:55:43,601 --> 00:55:45,907
Action!
1109
00:55:45,951 --> 00:55:48,867
♪ Deck the halls
with bows of holly ♪
1110
00:55:48,910 --> 00:55:49,911
♪ Fa-la-la-la-la
1111
00:55:49,955 --> 00:55:51,696
♪ La-la-la-la
1112
00:55:51,739 --> 00:55:54,612
♪ 'Tis the season to be jolly
1113
00:55:54,655 --> 00:55:56,265
♪ Fa-la-la-la-la
1114
00:55:56,309 --> 00:55:59,617
♪ La-la-la-la
1115
00:55:59,660 --> 00:56:00,922
I said...
1116
00:56:00,966 --> 00:56:03,490
♪ Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
1117
00:56:03,534 --> 00:56:06,014
Karate Don!
1118
00:56:06,058 --> 00:56:08,277
♪ Don we now our gay apparel
1119
00:56:08,321 --> 00:56:10,454
♪ Fa-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la
1120
00:56:10,497 --> 00:56:14,371
♪ As we troll
the yuletide carol ♪
1121
00:56:14,414 --> 00:56:18,853
♪ Fa-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
1122
00:56:18,897 --> 00:56:21,116
[Cheering]
1123
00:56:21,160 --> 00:56:23,162
SAM:
Okay, Ira,
1124
00:56:23,205 --> 00:56:24,685
let's show those two schlemiels
1125
00:56:24,729 --> 00:56:26,383
how the Finkelsteins
play tennis.
1126
00:56:26,426 --> 00:56:27,427
Yeah, okay, Grandpa.
1127
00:56:27,471 --> 00:56:28,428
That's no Finkelstein.
1128
00:56:28,472 --> 00:56:29,864
What?
1129
00:56:29,908 --> 00:56:31,518
I said that's no Finkelstein.
1130
00:56:31,562 --> 00:56:32,867
What?
1131
00:56:32,911 --> 00:56:34,347
Play! Play!
1132
00:56:34,391 --> 00:56:36,262
What's wrong with you?
1133
00:56:36,305 --> 00:56:37,785
It's a different kid.
What is he, blind?
1134
00:56:37,829 --> 00:56:40,875
Are you going to just stand
there and schvitz all day?
1135
00:56:40,919 --> 00:56:44,836
Or you going to serve?
1136
00:56:44,879 --> 00:56:48,448
You won't even see it go by,you blind old fart.
1137
00:56:48,492 --> 00:56:51,625
[Grunting]
1138
00:56:51,669 --> 00:56:54,846
What are you doing, kid?You have to hit it back.
1139
00:56:54,889 --> 00:56:56,456
You just let that alter kockermake it 15-love.
1140
00:56:56,500 --> 00:56:58,676
Sorry, Grandpa. I forgot.
1141
00:56:58,719 --> 00:57:00,112
It's kind of been a while.
1142
00:57:00,155 --> 00:57:01,679
What's to remember?
1143
00:57:01,722 --> 00:57:06,161
You hit the ball over the net,
inside those lines.
1144
00:57:06,205 --> 00:57:07,424
I don't want to put pressureon you, Ira.
1145
00:57:07,467 --> 00:57:09,469
But if Bernie Plotze beats me,
1146
00:57:09,513 --> 00:57:11,950
the rest of my daysare going to be Hell on Earth.
1147
00:57:11,993 --> 00:57:13,517
You can count on me, Grandpa.
1148
00:57:13,560 --> 00:57:17,738
Okay.
1149
00:57:17,782 --> 00:57:19,697
Hey!
1150
00:57:19,740 --> 00:57:21,220
The kid's got power.
1151
00:57:21,263 --> 00:57:24,049
Take that, you blind old fart.
1152
00:57:24,092 --> 00:57:25,050
It ain't your serve, schmuck-o.
1153
00:57:25,093 --> 00:57:26,268
Hey, hey, hey!
1154
00:57:26,312 --> 00:57:28,227
Don't you talk that way
to my grandson.
1155
00:57:28,270 --> 00:57:30,011
Nice one.
1156
00:57:30,055 --> 00:57:31,926
He almost hit the deck.
1157
00:57:31,970 --> 00:57:34,494
But Ira, you have to waitfor him to serve.
1158
00:57:34,538 --> 00:57:35,887
And then I smack it?
1159
00:57:35,930 --> 00:57:37,236
Right.
1160
00:57:37,279 --> 00:57:38,629
15-love.
1161
00:57:45,810 --> 00:57:48,726
Oy, oy, oy.
1162
00:57:48,769 --> 00:57:50,467
15 all!
1163
00:57:50,510 --> 00:57:51,772
That's my boy! We won the point!
1164
00:57:51,816 --> 00:57:54,688
All right.
1165
00:57:59,911 --> 00:58:01,260
What?
1166
00:58:01,303 --> 00:58:02,696
MIKEY:
All right!
1167
00:58:02,740 --> 00:58:04,655
What's that?
1168
00:58:04,698 --> 00:58:06,221
My end zone dance.
1169
00:58:06,265 --> 00:58:08,702
Woo!
1170
00:58:08,746 --> 00:58:12,401
Not just an athlete,
he's a dancer.
1171
00:58:12,445 --> 00:58:14,012
It's like a circus.
1172
00:58:14,055 --> 00:58:16,362
I should have stayed home
and watched the Gong Show.
1173
00:58:16,405 --> 00:58:18,625
Now, now, now,he's a kid, Bernie.
1174
00:58:18,669 --> 00:58:21,367
He's probably got that disease.
1175
00:58:21,410 --> 00:58:22,368
Huh?
1176
00:58:22,411 --> 00:58:23,587
The attention deficit.
1177
00:58:23,630 --> 00:58:26,154
No, focus, the whole generation.
1178
00:58:26,198 --> 00:58:28,635
Watch. I'll give him
an easy one.
1179
00:58:28,679 --> 00:58:32,073
He'll put it right into the net.
1180
00:58:32,117 --> 00:58:42,083
♪
1181
00:58:44,999 --> 00:58:48,916
Like Babe Ruth!
1182
00:58:48,960 --> 00:58:50,570
How many points did we get?
1183
00:58:50,614 --> 00:58:51,571
That was a new ball!
1184
00:58:51,615 --> 00:58:52,920
Big deal!
1185
00:58:52,964 --> 00:58:57,490
You're just jealous becauseit's not your grandson
1186
00:58:57,534 --> 00:58:59,318
that's heading tothe Major Leagues.
1187
00:58:59,361 --> 00:59:01,320
It's my Grandson.
1188
00:59:01,363 --> 00:59:02,321
I'll get it.
1189
00:59:02,364 --> 00:59:06,586
I'm a good climber too.
1190
00:59:06,630 --> 00:59:10,982
[Laughing]
1191
00:59:12,592 --> 00:59:16,422
Oh, good, you're taking a break.I've got rugelach.
1192
00:59:16,465 --> 00:59:18,729
Ooh, rugelach.
1193
00:59:18,772 --> 00:59:20,339
We just got started.
1194
00:59:20,382 --> 00:59:22,036
I should have stayed home
and watched the Love Boat.
1195
00:59:22,080 --> 00:59:23,211
Where's Ira?
1196
00:59:23,255 --> 00:59:24,691
Good question.
1197
00:59:24,735 --> 00:59:27,215
I'm up here, Grandma.
1198
00:59:27,259 --> 00:59:28,652
Hey, Grandma, look at me.
1199
00:59:28,695 --> 00:59:29,653
What, you want a medal?
1200
00:59:29,696 --> 00:59:30,697
Ira, get down from there.
1201
00:59:30,741 --> 00:59:31,872
You'll break your neck.
1202
00:59:31,916 --> 00:59:34,440
What is he doing up there?
It's not safe.
1203
00:59:34,483 --> 00:59:37,878
He's fine.
He's a natural athlete.
1204
00:59:37,922 --> 00:59:40,533
Hey, Grandma,
watch my end zone dance.
1205
00:59:40,577 --> 00:59:42,056
Ah!
1206
00:59:42,100 --> 00:59:43,623
Ira! No!
1207
00:59:43,667 --> 00:59:46,539
[Crying]
1208
00:59:46,583 --> 00:59:53,546
♪
1209
00:59:53,590 --> 00:59:54,852
It turned out so good.
1210
00:59:54,895 --> 00:59:56,593
It did.
1211
00:59:56,636 --> 00:59:59,247
Now all we need is an audience.
1212
00:59:59,291 --> 01:00:01,249
Great work, team.
1213
01:00:01,293 --> 01:00:04,209
And remember, when you go home
tonight, work on those lines.
1214
01:00:04,252 --> 01:00:05,906
I'll see you guys
in the morning?
1215
01:00:05,950 --> 01:00:08,213
All right, bye, Mikey.
1216
01:00:08,256 --> 01:00:10,868
♪ O come, all ye faithful
1217
01:00:10,911 --> 01:00:14,567
♪ Joyful and triumphant
1218
01:00:14,611 --> 01:00:19,137
♪ O come, ye, o come, ye,
to Bethlehem ♪
1219
01:00:19,180 --> 01:00:20,573
Woo!
1220
01:00:20,617 --> 01:00:25,360
♪ Come and behold him,
born the king of angels ♪
1221
01:00:25,404 --> 01:00:28,015
♪ O come, let us adore him
1222
01:00:28,059 --> 01:00:31,149
♪ O come, let us adore him
1223
01:00:31,192 --> 01:00:36,067
♪ O come, let us adore him,
Christ the Lord ♪
1224
01:00:36,110 --> 01:00:37,285
[Cheering]
1225
01:00:37,329 --> 01:00:38,286
How was practice?
1226
01:00:38,330 --> 01:00:39,287
Awesome.
1227
01:00:39,331 --> 01:00:40,462
I made a camel.
1228
01:00:40,506 --> 01:00:42,508
You go, Kyle.
1229
01:00:42,551 --> 01:00:44,118
Let me just pack up my stuff.
The car's up the street.
1230
01:00:44,162 --> 01:00:47,687
We can walk. We have to put up
post-its for the show.
1231
01:00:47,731 --> 01:00:49,384
I could put up a couple
if you want.
1232
01:00:49,428 --> 01:00:50,821
That'd be great.
1233
01:00:50,864 --> 01:00:52,736
Not that I think anyone's
actually going to come.
1234
01:00:52,779 --> 01:00:55,695
Are you kidding?You should hear Clare's song.
1235
01:00:55,739 --> 01:00:56,870
It's awesome.
1236
01:00:56,914 --> 01:00:58,393
Top of the charts.
1237
01:00:58,437 --> 01:01:00,352
You're insane, Mikey.
You know that?
1238
01:01:00,395 --> 01:01:05,226
You have this ridiculous view ofthe world. You are so naive.
1239
01:01:05,270 --> 01:01:10,014
Make the world you want to see.That's what I say.
1240
01:01:10,057 --> 01:01:12,364
That's exactly
what I'm talking about.
1241
01:01:12,407 --> 01:01:14,018
Where do you get this stuff?
1242
01:01:14,061 --> 01:01:17,325
My dad.
1243
01:01:17,369 --> 01:01:18,718
Okay, put that over there.
Thank you.
1244
01:01:18,762 --> 01:01:19,719
Max? Max?
1245
01:01:19,763 --> 01:01:20,720
Yes.
1246
01:01:20,764 --> 01:01:22,243
This is not good.
1247
01:01:22,287 --> 01:01:23,244
Don't worry about it.
Everything's going to be fine.
1248
01:01:23,288 --> 01:01:24,768
Desperate Jane is a train wreck.
1249
01:01:24,811 --> 01:01:28,815
No, no, she's an artiste.She just needs a little support.
1250
01:01:28,859 --> 01:01:30,382
Come with me.
1251
01:01:30,425 --> 01:01:32,036
More candy canes!
1252
01:01:32,079 --> 01:01:33,733
How many candy canes are--
1253
01:01:33,777 --> 01:01:34,865
Honey, forget about the candy--
1254
01:01:34,908 --> 01:01:36,475
Max!
1255
01:01:36,518 --> 01:01:40,522
I love you. You're brilliant.
But I can't work like this.
1256
01:01:40,566 --> 01:01:43,003
Is this what I trained for?
Tell me.
1257
01:01:43,047 --> 01:01:45,876
[Screaming]
1258
01:01:45,919 --> 01:01:49,662
My God, is she dying?
1259
01:01:49,706 --> 01:01:52,447
I think it's her brain.
1260
01:01:52,491 --> 01:01:53,535
Edna, you're beautiful.
1261
01:01:53,579 --> 01:01:55,624
Louis, keep up the good work.
1262
01:01:55,668 --> 01:01:56,843
We are going to be rolling againin no time.
1263
01:01:56,887 --> 01:01:59,237
Now get in there.
1264
01:01:59,280 --> 01:02:02,066
Right.
1265
01:02:02,109 --> 01:02:05,852
Jennifer?
1266
01:02:05,896 --> 01:02:09,813
Hi. I'm here for you.
1267
01:02:09,856 --> 01:02:12,163
Just tell me what's wrong.
1268
01:02:12,206 --> 01:02:15,470
Max?
1269
01:02:15,514 --> 01:02:19,736
Nothing is wrong with me.
1270
01:02:19,779 --> 01:02:22,521
I'm a trained actress,
1271
01:02:22,564 --> 01:02:25,524
recently featured on page 12
1272
01:02:25,567 --> 01:02:27,961
of "Hello There",
weekly magazine.
1273
01:02:28,005 --> 01:02:30,529
I'm Desperate Jane!
1274
01:02:30,572 --> 01:02:35,534
I have fans and a blog.
And I'm in control.
1275
01:02:35,577 --> 01:02:39,625
I think Pookie is having
a nervous breakdown.
1276
01:02:39,668 --> 01:02:41,192
[Phone ringing]
1277
01:02:41,235 --> 01:02:44,021
Oh, excuse me.
1278
01:02:44,064 --> 01:02:46,284
Ruth, is everything all right?
1279
01:02:46,327 --> 01:02:50,375
See, Pookie's not used to seeingme in such a dramatic role.
1280
01:02:50,418 --> 01:02:52,203
And I think that it's just...
1281
01:02:52,246 --> 01:02:55,032
It's just brought up
a lot of issues.
1282
01:02:55,075 --> 01:02:56,511
ROSIE:He what?
1283
01:02:56,555 --> 01:02:58,818
JENNIFER:
So, I think we
just need to stop,
1284
01:02:58,862 --> 01:03:03,388
just stop all of this until
after Christmas, okay?
1285
01:03:03,431 --> 01:03:05,999
Pookie needs his rest.
1286
01:03:06,043 --> 01:03:08,610
Till after Christmas?
1287
01:03:08,654 --> 01:03:11,831
Jennifer, no,I can't lose the days.
1288
01:03:11,875 --> 01:03:16,183
You say "Yes" or I sue. Hmm?
1289
01:03:16,227 --> 01:03:19,796
Well, for what?
1290
01:03:19,839 --> 01:03:22,537
Cruelty to animals.
1291
01:03:22,581 --> 01:03:24,365
ROSIE:
We'll be right there.
1292
01:03:24,409 --> 01:03:26,193
Max?
1293
01:03:26,237 --> 01:03:28,543
She wants to shut down the film.
1294
01:03:28,587 --> 01:03:31,068
No, it's just until Pookie
can get himself together.
1295
01:03:31,111 --> 01:03:32,547
Good, Pookie could
use the break
1296
01:03:32,591 --> 01:03:35,376
because you and I are on
the next flight to Florida.
1297
01:03:35,420 --> 01:03:36,595
What?
1298
01:03:36,638 --> 01:03:38,727
Ira is in the hospital.
He broke his arm.
1299
01:03:38,771 --> 01:03:41,905
Oh, no.
1300
01:03:41,948 --> 01:03:44,385
Let's go.
1301
01:03:44,429 --> 01:03:53,220
♪
1302
01:04:13,675 --> 01:04:15,852
Not a lot of storeson this street.
1303
01:04:15,895 --> 01:04:19,507
Yeah. We should probably
turn back.
1304
01:04:19,551 --> 01:04:23,207
We have to put upthis last poster.
1305
01:04:23,250 --> 01:04:24,991
Hey.
1306
01:04:25,035 --> 01:04:33,870
♪
1307
01:04:33,913 --> 01:04:37,699
Very eye-catching.
1308
01:04:37,743 --> 01:04:42,356
Are we in someone's yard?
1309
01:04:42,400 --> 01:04:44,315
Dumb mutt. I've had it with you.
1310
01:04:44,358 --> 01:04:46,621
Lousy guard dog
and you crap on the rug.
1311
01:04:48,885 --> 01:04:51,017
It's Killer!
1312
01:04:51,061 --> 01:04:52,236
He won't do it again, Dad.I swear.
1313
01:04:52,279 --> 01:04:54,368
Oh, don't lie to me.
That dog is no good.
1314
01:04:54,412 --> 01:04:56,980
All he does is eat food and
cost me money, just like you.
1315
01:04:57,023 --> 01:04:58,807
Well, he only did it'cause you were yelling at him
1316
01:04:58,851 --> 01:04:59,983
and he got scared.
1317
01:05:00,026 --> 01:05:02,550
That dog is going to
the pound tomorrow.
1318
01:05:02,594 --> 01:05:03,551
Dad, please--
1319
01:05:03,595 --> 01:05:05,205
Don't you smart off with me,
boy!
1320
01:05:05,249 --> 01:05:06,511
You want something to cry about?
1321
01:05:06,554 --> 01:05:09,035
I'll give you something
to cry about.
1322
01:05:09,079 --> 01:05:10,645
No.
1323
01:05:10,689 --> 01:05:13,126
Yeah, I didn't think so.
1324
01:05:13,170 --> 01:05:16,564
Get inside
and clean up this mess.
1325
01:05:16,608 --> 01:05:18,349
[Dog whimpering]
1326
01:05:18,392 --> 01:05:19,872
Get!
1327
01:05:19,916 --> 01:05:20,873
Go on, get!
1328
01:05:20,917 --> 01:05:24,398
Run, Ira!
1329
01:05:24,442 --> 01:05:26,183
Run away, you stupid dog!
1330
01:05:26,226 --> 01:05:30,491
I don't care
what happens to you!
1331
01:05:30,535 --> 01:05:37,542
♪
1332
01:05:37,585 --> 01:05:39,892
[Growling]
1333
01:05:39,936 --> 01:05:41,981
ROSIE:
Dogs know when
someone's afraid of them.
1334
01:05:42,025 --> 01:05:45,942
They can smell your fear.
1335
01:05:45,985 --> 01:05:49,597
You have to show him
who's boss.
1336
01:05:49,641 --> 01:05:53,819
[Growling]
1337
01:05:53,862 --> 01:05:55,995
Sit.
1338
01:05:59,042 --> 01:06:01,566
Stay.
1339
01:06:07,615 --> 01:06:08,965
Good boy.
1340
01:06:09,008 --> 01:06:11,010
Nah, you're not much of a
fighter at all, are you?
1341
01:06:11,054 --> 01:06:12,664
Are you?
1342
01:06:12,707 --> 01:06:15,667
Oh, yes, you are. Yes, you are.
1343
01:06:15,710 --> 01:06:17,495
Ira, let's get out of here.
1344
01:06:17,538 --> 01:06:22,369
We can't let Jack the jerk's dadtake him to the pound.
1345
01:06:22,413 --> 01:06:25,111
Want to go for a walk, boy?
Hey, want to go for a walk?
1346
01:06:25,155 --> 01:06:26,243
Okay, come on.
1347
01:06:34,555 --> 01:06:44,522
♪
1348
01:06:49,440 --> 01:06:51,050
WALT:Who wants hot chocolate?
1349
01:06:51,094 --> 01:06:52,312
Me!Me!
1350
01:06:52,356 --> 01:06:55,272
Me, and Mistletoe.
Don't you, Mistletoe?
1351
01:06:55,315 --> 01:06:57,013
Chocolate makes dogs sick.
1352
01:06:57,056 --> 01:06:58,057
Well, it's good
for humans though.
1353
01:06:58,101 --> 01:06:59,058
Right, kid?
1354
01:06:59,102 --> 01:07:00,059
Thank you, Daddy.
1355
01:07:00,103 --> 01:07:01,147
You're welcome. There you go.
1356
01:07:01,191 --> 01:07:04,281
Mom, can we keep Mistletoe?
1357
01:07:04,324 --> 01:07:07,719
Oh, honey, it's not a good time.
1358
01:07:07,762 --> 01:07:11,070
We can't really take onthe expense.
1359
01:07:11,114 --> 01:07:12,898
But we're rich, aren't we?
1360
01:07:12,941 --> 01:07:16,815
I mean, compared to people whohave to live in little houses,
1361
01:07:16,858 --> 01:07:19,296
with washing machines
in the yard.
1362
01:07:19,339 --> 01:07:21,994
We have this huge house
1363
01:07:22,038 --> 01:07:23,778
and all of this stuff.
1364
01:07:23,822 --> 01:07:25,432
JESSICA:Duh. None of it's paid for.
1365
01:07:25,476 --> 01:07:29,306
We have to pay the bank everymonth for the house and the cars
1366
01:07:29,349 --> 01:07:31,525
and probably everything else.
1367
01:07:31,569 --> 01:07:33,701
Who's "We", Jessica?
1368
01:07:33,745 --> 01:07:36,139
You guys.
1369
01:07:36,182 --> 01:07:37,618
It's okay.
1370
01:07:37,662 --> 01:07:39,403
I'm going to take Mistletoe homeon the plane with me.
1371
01:07:39,446 --> 01:07:41,187
My parents won't mind.
1372
01:07:44,843 --> 01:07:49,065
What?
1373
01:07:49,108 --> 01:07:50,805
Clare, what did I say?
1374
01:07:50,849 --> 01:07:52,198
You said "Your parents",
1375
01:07:52,242 --> 01:07:55,201
but your dad doesn't
live with you anymore.
1376
01:07:55,245 --> 01:07:59,945
Oh, right. I, uhh...
1377
01:07:59,988 --> 01:08:03,514
I meant my mom. Sorry.
1378
01:08:03,557 --> 01:08:06,691
Oh, sweetie. Oh.
1379
01:08:06,734 --> 01:08:11,130
It's okay to be sad,
even at Christmas.
1380
01:08:11,174 --> 01:08:15,134
We are so lucky
to have each other.
1381
01:08:20,226 --> 01:08:24,274
I miss my mom and dad.
1382
01:08:24,317 --> 01:08:28,234
Oh, of course you do.
1383
01:08:28,278 --> 01:08:32,673
No wonder you want a dog.
1384
01:08:35,937 --> 01:08:37,374
Oh.
1385
01:08:37,417 --> 01:08:39,245
Sam...
1386
01:08:39,289 --> 01:08:40,725
Where is he?
1387
01:08:40,768 --> 01:08:42,161
Recuperating.
1388
01:08:42,205 --> 01:08:43,467
Okay.
1389
01:08:43,510 --> 01:08:46,774
Oh, honey, my poor, brave boy.
1390
01:08:46,818 --> 01:08:49,168
Such a thing. I'm all verklempt.
1391
01:08:49,212 --> 01:08:52,780
I know, Mom. Me too.
1392
01:08:52,824 --> 01:08:55,218
What were you thinking?
1393
01:08:55,261 --> 01:08:56,610
What? The kid's
a natural athlete.
1394
01:08:56,654 --> 01:08:58,525
Ira?
1395
01:08:58,569 --> 01:08:59,526
Ira.
1396
01:08:59,570 --> 01:09:00,527
No, he...
1397
01:09:00,571 --> 01:09:02,529
[Sighing]
1398
01:09:02,573 --> 01:09:04,792
Ira?
1399
01:09:04,836 --> 01:09:09,797
Ira, honey?
1400
01:09:09,841 --> 01:09:12,191
It's okay. Mommy's here.
1401
01:09:12,235 --> 01:09:14,933
Hey, buddy.
1402
01:09:14,976 --> 01:09:17,501
How you feeling?
1403
01:09:17,544 --> 01:09:19,329
Mom?
1404
01:09:19,372 --> 01:09:21,200
Who are you?
1405
01:09:21,244 --> 01:09:22,288
That's not Ira.
1406
01:09:22,332 --> 01:09:23,594
Where's Ira?
1407
01:09:23,637 --> 01:09:24,638
What?
1408
01:09:24,682 --> 01:09:26,205
MAX:
Where is Ira?
1409
01:09:26,249 --> 01:09:27,685
My God, where is my son?
1410
01:09:27,728 --> 01:09:28,816
What?Dad--
1411
01:09:28,860 --> 01:09:30,340
What?You're a meshuggener!
1412
01:09:30,383 --> 01:09:31,341
What?
1413
01:09:31,384 --> 01:09:32,342
Ah!
1414
01:09:32,385 --> 01:09:34,344
Ira! Ira!
1415
01:09:34,387 --> 01:09:36,346
Where's Ira?
1416
01:09:36,389 --> 01:09:39,958
[Phone ringing]
1417
01:09:40,001 --> 01:09:42,874
My phone.
1418
01:09:42,917 --> 01:09:47,574
[Phone ringing]
1419
01:09:47,618 --> 01:09:51,012
Hello?
1420
01:09:51,056 --> 01:09:55,539
What do you mean,we have your son?
1421
01:09:55,582 --> 01:10:00,196
Oh no.
1422
01:10:00,239 --> 01:10:03,721
So, you're telling me
1423
01:10:03,764 --> 01:10:05,940
the kid sitting
in my living room--
1424
01:10:05,984 --> 01:10:06,941
Just give me the phone!
1425
01:10:06,985 --> 01:10:08,291
Isn't my cousin?
1426
01:10:08,334 --> 01:10:10,249
Who is he?
1427
01:10:10,293 --> 01:10:12,469
Ira Finkelstein?
1428
01:10:12,512 --> 01:10:13,470
No, no!
1429
01:10:13,513 --> 01:10:14,862
"Ira Finkelstein"?
1430
01:10:14,906 --> 01:10:16,647
JESSICA:
Sure.
1431
01:10:16,690 --> 01:10:21,217
Can you hold on a sec,Mr. Finkelstein? I'll get Ira.
1432
01:10:21,260 --> 01:10:22,522
[Beeping]
1433
01:10:22,566 --> 01:10:24,698
Your dad wants to talk to you.
1434
01:10:24,742 --> 01:10:27,092
Tell him I'm not here, please.
1435
01:10:27,135 --> 01:10:28,920
You want to get me
in trouble too?
1436
01:10:28,963 --> 01:10:31,009
An accomplice to kidnapping?
1437
01:10:31,052 --> 01:10:34,273
"Kidnapping"?
Who's kidnapping anyone?
1438
01:10:34,317 --> 01:10:36,754
The real Mikey is in Florida.
You're an imposter.
1439
01:10:36,797 --> 01:10:39,147
Were you in on this?
1440
01:10:39,191 --> 01:10:40,671
IRA:No, no.
1441
01:10:40,714 --> 01:10:43,935
Clare didn't do anything,
1442
01:10:43,978 --> 01:10:46,677
except be my friend.
1443
01:10:46,720 --> 01:10:48,418
Mr. Finkelstein?
1444
01:10:48,461 --> 01:10:49,462
Umm--
1445
01:10:49,506 --> 01:10:50,637
Put Ira on the phone.
1446
01:10:50,681 --> 01:10:52,291
Ira's not here.
1447
01:10:52,335 --> 01:10:55,207
Not there? Where is he? Is he safe? Is he all right?
1448
01:10:55,251 --> 01:10:57,775
Yeah, he's great.
He just went to rehearsal.
1449
01:10:57,818 --> 01:10:59,864
No, don't.
1450
01:10:59,907 --> 01:11:00,865
He's putting on
a Christmas play tonight.
1451
01:11:00,908 --> 01:11:01,866
Jessica!
1452
01:11:01,909 --> 01:11:04,303
Over my dead body!
1453
01:11:04,347 --> 01:11:06,436
He's going to be sitting on a plane bound for L.A.X.
1454
01:11:06,479 --> 01:11:08,307
wishing he had never heard
1455
01:11:08,351 --> 01:11:10,091
of the Christmas.
1456
01:11:10,135 --> 01:11:14,182
Yeah, uhh, I got to go.
I'll tell Ira you called.
1457
01:11:14,226 --> 01:11:18,926
Bye, Mr. Finkelstein.
1458
01:11:18,970 --> 01:11:21,233
I'm so sorry, Ira.
1459
01:11:21,277 --> 01:11:23,931
To the theatre!
1460
01:11:23,975 --> 01:11:27,370
[Cheering]
1461
01:11:27,413 --> 01:11:28,762
To the theatre!
1462
01:11:28,806 --> 01:11:29,763
Come on, guys.
We're going to be late.
1463
01:11:29,807 --> 01:11:31,809
Come on, Mistletoe.
1464
01:11:31,852 --> 01:11:41,340
♪
1465
01:11:41,384 --> 01:11:42,907
What happened?
1466
01:11:42,950 --> 01:11:51,045
♪
1467
01:12:20,640 --> 01:12:22,773
Merry Christmas.
1468
01:12:22,816 --> 01:12:24,688
And a happy New Year.
1469
01:12:24,731 --> 01:12:26,124
Enemy of all that is good.
1470
01:12:30,084 --> 01:12:31,390
I don't get it.
1471
01:12:31,434 --> 01:12:33,871
Why would you do this?
1472
01:12:33,914 --> 01:12:35,960
It's because
he's a selfish jerk.
1473
01:12:36,003 --> 01:12:38,658
Hey, you better shut up.
1474
01:12:38,702 --> 01:12:40,791
No, you shut up.
1475
01:12:40,834 --> 01:12:41,835
You just want to ruin
1476
01:12:41,879 --> 01:12:43,446
what other people care about!
1477
01:12:43,489 --> 01:12:45,796
Do you have any idea how hardwe worked on this
1478
01:12:45,839 --> 01:12:48,668
and what it meant to us? To me?
1479
01:12:48,712 --> 01:12:50,148
Do you know what it's like
1480
01:12:50,191 --> 01:12:51,323
to care about anything at all?
1481
01:12:51,367 --> 01:12:54,979
Yes!
1482
01:12:55,022 --> 01:12:57,677
I care about Killer.
1483
01:12:57,721 --> 01:12:58,896
What?
1484
01:12:58,939 --> 01:13:02,073
Killer, he's mine. He's my dog.
1485
01:13:02,116 --> 01:13:04,858
You have your big house
and your gingerbread
1486
01:13:04,902 --> 01:13:08,775
and your stupid
little candleholder.
1487
01:13:08,819 --> 01:13:11,387
I just have my dog.
And you took him.
1488
01:13:11,430 --> 01:13:13,737
You made him run away.
1489
01:13:13,780 --> 01:13:16,827
No.
1490
01:13:16,870 --> 01:13:20,004
Jack's right. I'm sorry.
1491
01:13:20,047 --> 01:13:22,702
He's your dog.
1492
01:13:29,448 --> 01:13:31,450
Have fun with your
stupid little play.
1493
01:13:31,494 --> 01:13:34,758
Hey, okay, you got your dog.
1494
01:13:34,801 --> 01:13:36,847
You don't want to hang around
1495
01:13:36,890 --> 01:13:40,503
with a bunch ofChristmas wusses.
1496
01:13:40,546 --> 01:13:45,508
So, if you could exit the stage,
we have a play to rehearse.
1497
01:13:45,551 --> 01:13:47,988
How are we supposed to rehearse?
1498
01:13:48,032 --> 01:13:51,035
They ruined our set.
1499
01:13:51,078 --> 01:13:55,735
I know. We'll fix what we can.
1500
01:13:55,779 --> 01:13:59,609
What we don't have time for,
we won't.
1501
01:13:59,652 --> 01:14:01,219
Hup, hup, come on, guys.
Hup, hup.
1502
01:14:01,262 --> 01:14:03,874
Should we beat him up, Jack?
1503
01:14:03,917 --> 01:14:07,355
Yeah, Jack, should we?What about the girl?
1504
01:14:12,404 --> 01:14:15,189
Oh, don't you dare touch him!
1505
01:14:15,233 --> 01:14:19,237
Stop! Don't touch him!
1506
01:14:19,280 --> 01:14:22,066
Baby Jesus.
1507
01:14:24,503 --> 01:14:29,247
Oh.
1508
01:14:29,290 --> 01:14:30,901
Yeah, that could work.
1509
01:14:30,944 --> 01:14:33,556
He's already wearing
swaddling clothes.
1510
01:14:33,599 --> 01:14:34,774
Oh, no, you didn't!
1511
01:14:34,818 --> 01:14:39,039
This is regulation
Karate Done action gear.
1512
01:14:39,083 --> 01:14:41,868
They're expecting
a show tonight, Kyle.
1513
01:14:41,912 --> 01:14:44,392
And are we going to
give it to 'em?
1514
01:14:44,436 --> 01:14:46,786
Yeah!Yeah!
1515
01:14:46,830 --> 01:14:48,875
Hup, hup, let's go.
1516
01:14:48,919 --> 01:14:56,361
♪
1517
01:14:59,582 --> 01:15:04,108
How do you not recognize
1518
01:15:04,151 --> 01:15:05,675
your own grandson?
1519
01:15:05,718 --> 01:15:08,678
Oh, it's my fault
because you never visit?
1520
01:15:08,721 --> 01:15:10,549
We invite you every year.
1521
01:15:10,593 --> 01:15:12,899
To schlep across country with
your mother's fear of flying?
1522
01:15:12,943 --> 01:15:16,381
Stop it, you two.
Just stop it, okay?
1523
01:15:18,165 --> 01:15:20,254
Mikey,
1524
01:15:20,298 --> 01:15:21,865
stop crying, honey.
1525
01:15:21,908 --> 01:15:23,606
Everyone's yelling at me.
1526
01:15:23,649 --> 01:15:25,346
No one is yelling!
1527
01:15:25,390 --> 01:15:27,914
And why shouldn't we yell?
1528
01:15:27,958 --> 01:15:29,525
Look at the troubleyou have caused,
1529
01:15:29,568 --> 01:15:32,223
talking my son into this
1530
01:15:32,266 --> 01:15:34,007
delinquent scheme.
1531
01:15:34,051 --> 01:15:37,184
It was Ira's idea.
He's the smart one.
1532
01:15:37,228 --> 01:15:39,622
My mom says I'm
a natural born follower.
1533
01:15:39,665 --> 01:15:41,362
Your mother loves you very much,
1534
01:15:41,406 --> 01:15:42,712
Mikey.
1535
01:15:42,755 --> 01:15:45,366
Then where is she?
Why hasn't she called back?
1536
01:15:45,410 --> 01:15:46,367
She will.
1537
01:15:46,411 --> 01:15:47,368
She better.
1538
01:15:47,412 --> 01:15:48,587
She won't.
1539
01:15:48,631 --> 01:15:50,850
She probably ran away with Rod.
1540
01:15:50,894 --> 01:15:52,156
And my arm hurts, Grandpa.
1541
01:15:52,199 --> 01:15:54,419
Oy, it hurts. Oy.
1542
01:15:54,462 --> 01:15:58,031
Would you stop that?You're not even Jewish.
1543
01:15:58,075 --> 01:15:59,946
Don't talk like that
to our grandson.
1544
01:15:59,990 --> 01:16:00,947
What?Stop it!
1545
01:16:00,991 --> 01:16:04,124
What?Stop it, everyone!
1546
01:16:04,168 --> 01:16:08,172
This is all my fault.
So, airplanes are death traps.
1547
01:16:08,215 --> 01:16:11,262
So, airlines rob you blind.
1548
01:16:11,305 --> 01:16:13,090
So, they don't even
feed you anymore.
1549
01:16:13,133 --> 01:16:17,355
So, Los Angeles hasthose awful freeways. So, what?
1550
01:16:17,398 --> 01:16:21,881
I should have gotten on
the plane to see my family.
1551
01:16:21,925 --> 01:16:25,232
No, Ma, we should have cometo you. It's our fault.
1552
01:16:25,276 --> 01:16:26,669
Don't argue with your mother.
1553
01:16:26,712 --> 01:16:28,671
I'm not!
1554
01:16:28,714 --> 01:16:31,064
No, it's my fault.
1555
01:16:31,108 --> 01:16:33,153
Don't be mad, Grandma.
I'm sorry I'm not Ira.
1556
01:16:33,197 --> 01:16:35,416
Don't be sorry, Mikey.
1557
01:16:35,460 --> 01:16:37,593
When you came running
toward us in that airport,
1558
01:16:37,636 --> 01:16:41,727
it was a joyful moment.
You looked so happy to see us.
1559
01:16:41,771 --> 01:16:43,686
We wouldn't trade that
for the world.
1560
01:16:43,729 --> 01:16:45,992
That's true, kid.So, don't worry.
1561
01:16:46,036 --> 01:16:48,473
You're still mishpocha.
1562
01:16:48,516 --> 01:16:50,562
Thanks, Grandpa.
1563
01:16:50,606 --> 01:16:54,392
Max, call the airport.
1564
01:16:54,435 --> 01:16:55,611
Mom--
1565
01:16:55,654 --> 01:17:00,224
Max, mishpocha, family!
1566
01:17:00,267 --> 01:17:02,705
Come on, I'll pack the latkes.
1567
01:17:02,748 --> 01:17:03,706
Latkes!
1568
01:17:03,749 --> 01:17:04,707
I love latkes.
1569
01:17:04,750 --> 01:17:05,708
Me too.
1570
01:17:05,751 --> 01:17:06,709
I can't wait.
1571
01:17:06,752 --> 01:17:08,406
Me neither.
1572
01:17:08,449 --> 01:17:14,847
♪
1573
01:17:14,891 --> 01:17:17,328
Oh.
1574
01:17:17,371 --> 01:17:18,851
I can't believe this, you guys.
1575
01:17:18,895 --> 01:17:21,593
Oh!
1576
01:17:21,637 --> 01:17:25,336
I'm so excited.
1577
01:17:25,379 --> 01:17:27,033
This is crazy.
1578
01:17:27,077 --> 01:17:29,340
No, crazy would have beenfor my sister
1579
01:17:29,383 --> 01:17:31,037
to spend Christmas Eve
in Chicago
1580
01:17:31,081 --> 01:17:33,083
instead of being
with her family.
1581
01:17:33,126 --> 01:17:34,737
I don't know what to say.
1582
01:17:34,780 --> 01:17:39,524
There is nothing I would ratherspend money on than this.
1583
01:17:39,567 --> 01:17:41,178
Thank you.
1584
01:17:41,221 --> 01:17:43,441
I can't wait to see the lookon Mikey's face.
1585
01:17:43,484 --> 01:17:45,530
Me too,
1586
01:17:45,573 --> 01:17:47,184
and to see him in this play.
1587
01:17:47,227 --> 01:17:48,838
You think you know
your own child.
1588
01:17:48,881 --> 01:17:50,709
Come on. Let's get seats.
1589
01:17:50,753 --> 01:17:53,494
Libby?
1590
01:17:53,538 --> 01:17:57,063
Julie, go ahead.We're right behind you.
1591
01:17:57,107 --> 01:17:58,369
Libby...
1592
01:17:58,412 --> 01:18:01,415
She's so happy.
1593
01:18:01,459 --> 01:18:04,723
I'm sorry.
1594
01:18:04,767 --> 01:18:06,333
What for?
1595
01:18:06,377 --> 01:18:08,771
That I haven't found a job,
1596
01:18:08,814 --> 01:18:10,903
that we're in debt.
1597
01:18:35,058 --> 01:18:38,104
[Tuning]
1598
01:18:38,148 --> 01:18:41,238
Aye, is this the Christmas play?
1599
01:18:41,281 --> 01:18:43,501
Yes. Follow the elf.
1600
01:18:43,544 --> 01:18:44,502
Do you know Ira Finkelstein?
1601
01:18:44,545 --> 01:18:45,503
Yes.
1602
01:18:45,546 --> 01:18:46,504
You do? Excellent.
1603
01:18:46,547 --> 01:18:49,376
Show's about to start.
1604
01:18:49,420 --> 01:18:50,377
Mikey, come here.
1605
01:18:50,421 --> 01:18:51,727
Give me your coat.
1606
01:18:51,770 --> 01:18:55,992
I got my purse though.Okay, all right.
1607
01:18:56,035 --> 01:18:59,343
Is there an elf? What elf are wegoing to follow? Where's Ira?
1608
01:18:59,386 --> 01:19:02,563
Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho!
1609
01:19:02,607 --> 01:19:05,871
Ho, ho, ho!
1610
01:19:10,397 --> 01:19:13,096
Thanks, Mistletoe.
1611
01:19:13,139 --> 01:19:18,188
I couldn't afford eight reindeeranymore, not in this economy.
1612
01:19:18,231 --> 01:19:20,190
[Rim shot playing]
1613
01:19:20,233 --> 01:19:21,887
He's funny.He's doing shtick.
1614
01:19:21,931 --> 01:19:25,717
I had to revoke Mrs. Claus's
credit cards last week.
1615
01:19:25,761 --> 01:19:28,372
Boy, am I in the doghouse.
1616
01:19:28,415 --> 01:19:31,549
[Rim shot playing]
1617
01:19:31,592 --> 01:19:33,377
Seriously, you'd like your
doghouse back, wouldn't you?
1618
01:19:33,420 --> 01:19:34,944
[Rim shot playing]
1619
01:19:34,987 --> 01:19:38,034
And now, ladies and gentlemen,
I am proud to present
1620
01:19:38,077 --> 01:19:41,341
the world premiere
of a bold new musical,
1621
01:19:41,385 --> 01:19:44,736
Christmas is for Everyone.
1622
01:19:44,780 --> 01:19:47,391
[Clapping]
1623
01:19:47,434 --> 01:19:49,697
Ho, ho, ho!
1624
01:19:49,741 --> 01:19:51,830
Ho, ho, ho! Ho, ho--
1625
01:19:51,874 --> 01:19:55,399
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!
1626
01:19:59,403 --> 01:20:02,101
Merry Christmas Eve, Nutcracker.
1627
01:20:02,145 --> 01:20:03,624
To you as well, Bob Cratchit.
1628
01:20:03,668 --> 01:20:05,496
But where is your son, Tiny Tim?
1629
01:20:05,539 --> 01:20:07,454
There he is.
1630
01:20:07,498 --> 01:20:09,717
Hi, Tiny Tim!Hi, Tiny Tim!
1631
01:20:09,761 --> 01:20:12,198
There, there's Ira.
1632
01:20:12,242 --> 01:20:14,070
Tiny Tim?
1633
01:20:14,113 --> 01:20:15,723
My God, he's a man.
1634
01:20:15,767 --> 01:20:17,551
Well, I'm but a poor
crippled boy.
1635
01:20:17,595 --> 01:20:19,379
Yet even I feel sorry for those
1636
01:20:19,423 --> 01:20:21,860
who do not know
the meaning of Christmas.
1637
01:20:21,904 --> 01:20:24,907
I'm talking about you,
Ebenezer Scrooge.
1638
01:20:24,950 --> 01:20:26,386
Bah, humbug!
1639
01:20:26,430 --> 01:20:30,738
We are wise men,
yet this genius four eyes boy
1640
01:20:30,782 --> 01:20:33,002
is wiser still
1641
01:20:33,045 --> 01:20:36,440
Uhh, speak more, wise boy.
1642
01:20:36,483 --> 01:20:37,528
He's a chochem.
1643
01:20:37,571 --> 01:20:38,529
Dad, shh!
1644
01:20:38,572 --> 01:20:40,096
That means a wise guy.
1645
01:20:40,139 --> 01:20:41,749
Just watch.
1646
01:20:41,793 --> 01:20:44,013
What is the meaningof Christmas?
1647
01:20:44,056 --> 01:20:45,449
It must be more than my husband
1648
01:20:45,492 --> 01:20:47,538
schlepping presents all over
the world in one night.
1649
01:20:47,581 --> 01:20:49,714
At his age and weight: oy vey!
1650
01:20:49,757 --> 01:20:51,716
[Laughing]
1651
01:20:51,759 --> 01:20:53,196
"Oy vey!"
1652
01:20:53,239 --> 01:20:55,546
[Laughing]
1653
01:20:55,589 --> 01:20:57,940
It is the birthday of my son,
Jesus.
1654
01:20:57,983 --> 01:21:00,725
Sworn enemy of all that's evil!
1655
01:21:00,768 --> 01:21:03,380
[Clapping]
1656
01:21:03,423 --> 01:21:05,817
Karate Don!
1657
01:21:05,861 --> 01:21:08,037
He has come to save the world,
my son.
1658
01:21:08,080 --> 01:21:10,953
Our son.
1659
01:21:10,996 --> 01:21:12,650
That's what you think.
1660
01:21:12,693 --> 01:21:14,347
JULIE:All these costumes and beards,
1661
01:21:14,391 --> 01:21:15,566
which one is Mikey?
1662
01:21:15,609 --> 01:21:17,220
He's right there,
1663
01:21:17,263 --> 01:21:19,091
Tiny Tim.
1664
01:21:19,135 --> 01:21:22,312
Woo-hoo! Yeah!
1665
01:21:22,355 --> 01:21:23,443
Tiny Tim!
1666
01:21:23,487 --> 01:21:25,750
Mom?
1667
01:21:25,793 --> 01:21:28,013
Is that your mom?
1668
01:21:28,057 --> 01:21:30,798
Yes, Mary, Christmas isBaby Jesus' birthday.
1669
01:21:30,842 --> 01:21:34,193
But what about those who do notworship Baby Jesus?
1670
01:21:34,237 --> 01:21:36,674
Must they be banned
from Christmastown?
1671
01:21:36,717 --> 01:21:40,460
Let them make snow angels too.
1672
01:21:40,504 --> 01:21:41,461
[Cheering]
1673
01:21:41,505 --> 01:21:45,291
He writes, he directs and acts,
1674
01:21:45,335 --> 01:21:46,902
another Woody Allen.
1675
01:21:46,945 --> 01:21:50,209
The kid's got chutzpah.
I'll give him that.
1676
01:21:50,253 --> 01:21:52,385
That's my son.
1677
01:21:52,429 --> 01:21:54,692
[Rim shot playing]
1678
01:21:54,735 --> 01:21:57,347
Go to your mom. Go to your mom.
1679
01:21:57,390 --> 01:21:59,349
Give her a hug and a kiss.Tell her you're fine.
1680
01:21:59,392 --> 01:22:00,350
Thank you.
1681
01:22:00,393 --> 01:22:01,351
Yes. I love you.
1682
01:22:01,394 --> 01:22:04,006
I love you more.
1683
01:22:04,049 --> 01:22:06,486
IRA:
What say you, Scrooge?
1684
01:22:06,530 --> 01:22:11,491
Go buy the biggest turkey inthe window. And keep the change.
1685
01:22:11,535 --> 01:22:14,451
Thanks, Scrooge.
1686
01:22:14,494 --> 01:22:15,582
What say you, Father?
1687
01:22:15,626 --> 01:22:16,583
[Chair screeching]
1688
01:22:16,627 --> 01:22:18,368
I'm proud of you, Son.
1689
01:22:18,411 --> 01:22:20,544
SAM:He's my grandson.
1690
01:22:20,587 --> 01:22:22,024
Hey, that guy took my line.
1691
01:22:22,067 --> 01:22:25,636
Dad?
1692
01:22:29,031 --> 01:22:31,337
Ira, snap out of it.
1693
01:22:31,381 --> 01:22:32,904
He's blanking.
1694
01:22:32,948 --> 01:22:34,558
This isn't in the script.
1695
01:22:34,601 --> 01:22:35,515
Who's that?
1696
01:22:35,559 --> 01:22:38,170
This is Mikey.
1697
01:22:38,214 --> 01:22:39,693
Then who's that?
1698
01:22:39,737 --> 01:22:41,043
That's Ira.
1699
01:22:41,086 --> 01:22:42,174
Who's Ira?
1700
01:22:42,218 --> 01:22:43,175
Who's Ira?
1701
01:22:43,219 --> 01:22:44,176
Ira?
1702
01:22:44,220 --> 01:22:45,177
Who's Ira?
1703
01:22:45,221 --> 01:22:46,918
I am.
1704
01:22:46,962 --> 01:22:51,009
[Crowd gasping]
1705
01:22:51,053 --> 01:22:55,361
I'm Ira J. Finkelstein.
1706
01:22:55,405 --> 01:22:58,886
And I love Christmas.
1707
01:22:58,930 --> 01:23:01,846
Don't you love Christmas?
Mazel tov.
1708
01:23:01,889 --> 01:23:03,587
I'm just kvelling, I'm so happy.
1709
01:23:03,630 --> 01:23:04,675
Maestro!
1710
01:23:04,718 --> 01:23:07,547
Two, three, four.
1711
01:23:07,591 --> 01:23:13,901
♪
1712
01:23:13,945 --> 01:23:17,949
♪ You turned the page,
the time is near ♪
1713
01:23:17,993 --> 01:23:21,866
♪ Tie up the bow
on one more year ♪
1714
01:23:21,909 --> 01:23:24,477
♪ Remember Christmas
1715
01:23:24,521 --> 01:23:27,915
♪ Remember love
1716
01:23:27,959 --> 01:23:30,918
♪ A sparkle here
1717
01:23:30,962 --> 01:23:32,572
♪ A snowflake there
1718
01:23:32,616 --> 01:23:35,923
♪ The gift of joy
is in the air ♪
1719
01:23:35,967 --> 01:23:38,491
♪ Remember Christmas
1720
01:23:38,535 --> 01:23:41,581
♪ Remember love
1721
01:23:41,625 --> 01:23:43,714
Sounds like Barbra Streisand.
1722
01:23:43,757 --> 01:23:48,110
♪ Good times, bad times
1723
01:23:48,153 --> 01:23:50,460
♪ Come gather round the tree
1724
01:23:50,503 --> 01:23:54,551
♪ 'Cause nothing means
as much, you see ♪
1725
01:23:54,594 --> 01:23:59,034
♪ As friends and family
1726
01:23:59,077 --> 01:24:04,039
♪ So, just remember this,
my friend ♪
1727
01:24:04,082 --> 01:24:05,040
The lessons paid off.
1728
01:24:05,083 --> 01:24:06,084
Yeah.
1729
01:24:06,128 --> 01:24:10,132
♪ And so, we'd like to say
1730
01:24:10,175 --> 01:24:13,787
♪ When day is done
1731
01:24:13,831 --> 01:24:17,617
♪ Christmas shines
like stars above ♪
1732
01:24:17,661 --> 01:24:22,448
♪ Christmas is
the light of love ♪
1733
01:24:22,492 --> 01:24:25,799
♪ Christmas is for everyone
1734
01:24:25,843 --> 01:24:28,498
Mom, Dad.
1735
01:24:28,541 --> 01:24:32,676
Ira!
1736
01:24:35,548 --> 01:24:39,074
Merry Christmas, Ira.
1737
01:24:39,117 --> 01:24:41,815
Happy Hanukkah, Dad.
1738
01:24:41,859 --> 01:24:43,252
♪ Ooh
1739
01:24:43,295 --> 01:24:45,689
Ira, it's such a nice play.
1740
01:24:45,732 --> 01:24:47,865
Thank you, Grandpa.
1741
01:24:47,908 --> 01:24:50,607
Ira, you're a man now.
1742
01:24:50,650 --> 01:24:51,825
A mensch!
1743
01:24:51,869 --> 01:24:55,786
It makes me want to dance.It makes me happy.
1744
01:24:55,829 --> 01:24:59,833
Hey, get back up there
for your big finish.
1745
01:24:59,877 --> 01:25:01,922
Maybe he should take
a knish with him.
1746
01:25:01,966 --> 01:25:03,185
He's working!
1747
01:25:03,228 --> 01:25:07,580
♪ Ah
1748
01:25:09,191 --> 01:25:10,888
Everybody!
1749
01:25:10,931 --> 01:25:14,283
♪ So, just remember this,
my friend ♪
1750
01:25:14,326 --> 01:25:18,113
♪ It's what you give,
not what you spend ♪
1751
01:25:18,156 --> 01:25:22,117
♪ So, we'd like to say
1752
01:25:22,160 --> 01:25:25,946
♪ When day is done
1753
01:25:25,990 --> 01:25:28,775
♪ Christmas shines
like stars above ♪
1754
01:25:28,819 --> 01:25:32,779
♪ Christmas is
the light of love ♪
1755
01:25:32,823 --> 01:25:37,349
♪ Christmas is for everyone
1756
01:25:37,393 --> 01:25:38,916
♪ Everyone
1757
01:25:38,959 --> 01:25:39,960
Everyone!
1758
01:25:40,004 --> 01:25:43,573
♪ Christmas is for
1759
01:25:43,616 --> 01:25:46,358
♪ Everyone
1760
01:25:46,402 --> 01:25:49,927
One!
1761
01:25:53,800 --> 01:25:55,889
♪ Everyone
1762
01:25:59,328 --> 01:26:01,591
Mishpocha!Mishpocha!
1763
01:26:01,634 --> 01:26:04,202
[Cheering]
1764
01:26:18,260 --> 01:26:22,307
♪ Fa-la-la, fa-la-la
1765
01:26:22,351 --> 01:26:26,311
♪ Fa-la-la, gloria
1766
01:26:26,355 --> 01:26:30,402
♪ Fa-la-la, fa-la-la
1767
01:26:30,446 --> 01:26:34,493
♪ Fa-la-la, gloria
1768
01:26:34,537 --> 01:26:38,367
♪ Angels we have heard on high
1769
01:26:38,410 --> 01:26:42,284
♪ Sweetly singing
o'er the plains ♪
1770
01:26:42,327 --> 01:26:46,288
♪ And the mountains, in reply
1771
01:26:46,331 --> 01:26:50,335
♪ Echoing their joyous strains
1772
01:26:50,379 --> 01:26:55,340
♪ Gloria
1773
01:26:58,474 --> 01:27:02,347
♪ In excelsis Deo
1774
01:27:02,391 --> 01:27:06,264
♪ Fa-la-la, fa-la-la
1775
01:27:06,308 --> 01:27:10,312
♪ Fa-la-la, gloria
1776
01:27:10,355 --> 01:27:14,272
♪ Shepherds why this jubilee
1777
01:27:14,316 --> 01:27:18,363
♪ Why these songs
of happy cheer? ♪
1778
01:27:18,407 --> 01:27:22,237
♪ What great brightness
did you see? ♪
1779
01:27:22,280 --> 01:27:26,545
♪ What glad tidings
did you hear? ♪
1780
01:27:26,589 --> 01:27:31,507
♪ Gloria
1781
01:27:34,510 --> 01:27:38,557
♪ In excelsis Deo
1782
01:27:38,601 --> 01:27:42,344
♪ Fa-la-la, fa-la-la
1783
01:27:42,387 --> 01:27:46,348
♪ Fa-la-la, gloria
1784
01:27:46,391 --> 01:27:51,353
♪ Fa-la-la, gloria
1785
01:27:51,396 --> 01:27:55,095
♪ See him in a manger laid
1786
01:27:55,139 --> 01:27:59,012
♪ Whom the choirs
of angels praise ♪
1787
01:27:59,056 --> 01:28:03,234
♪ Mary, Joseph, lend your aid
1788
01:28:03,278 --> 01:28:07,325
♪ While our hearts, in love,
we praise ♪
1789
01:28:07,369 --> 01:28:12,287
♪ Gloria
1790
01:28:15,377 --> 01:28:19,250
♪ In excelsis Deo
1791
01:28:19,294 --> 01:28:24,255
♪ Gloria
1792
01:28:27,389 --> 01:28:31,523
♪ In excelsis Deo
1793
01:28:31,567 --> 01:28:35,353
♪ Fa-la-la, fa-la-la
1794
01:28:35,397 --> 01:28:39,314
♪ Fa-la-la, gloria
1795
01:28:39,357 --> 01:28:42,360
♪ Fa-la-la, fa-la-la
1796
01:28:42,404 --> 01:28:45,320
♪ Fa-la-la-la-la-la
1797
01:28:45,363 --> 01:28:50,281
♪ Gloria
1798
01:28:53,023 --> 01:28:56,461
♪ Jingle bells, jingle bells
1799
01:28:56,505 --> 01:28:59,943
♪ Jingle all the way
1800
01:28:59,986 --> 01:29:02,946
♪ Oh, what fun it is to ride
1801
01:29:02,989 --> 01:29:06,863
♪ In a one-horse open sleigh
1802
01:29:06,906 --> 01:29:10,257
♪ Jingle bells, jingle bells
1803
01:29:10,301 --> 01:29:13,478
♪ Jingle all the way
1804
01:29:13,522 --> 01:29:16,873
♪ Oh, what fun it is to ride
1805
01:29:16,916 --> 01:29:20,267
♪ In a one-horse open sleigh
1806
01:29:20,311 --> 01:29:25,272
[Humming]
1807
01:29:25,316 --> 01:29:29,320
♪ Well, my baby's far away
in a tropical land ♪
1808
01:29:29,364 --> 01:29:30,887
♪ It just don't feel
like Christmas ♪
1809
01:29:30,930 --> 01:29:33,019
♪ Under palm trees in the sand
1810
01:29:33,063 --> 01:29:36,327
♪ Feeling kind of lonely,
no snow beneath his feet ♪
1811
01:29:36,371 --> 01:29:39,548
♪ So, I send a musical postcardfrom the cozy Northeast ♪
1812
01:29:39,591 --> 01:29:43,508
♪ Jingle bells, jingle bells
1813
01:29:43,552 --> 01:29:47,033
♪ Jingle all the way
1814
01:29:47,077 --> 01:29:49,993
♪ Oh, what fun it is to ride
1815
01:29:50,036 --> 01:29:53,866
♪ In a one-horse open sleigh
1816
01:29:53,910 --> 01:29:56,521
[Humming]
111986
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