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1
00:00:03,204 --> 00:00:04,672
(engines roaring)
2
00:00:04,738 --> 00:00:06,340
ZOEY: Sorry, Nigel.
3
00:00:06,407 --> 00:00:08,042
Dinner took longer
than I thought.
4
00:00:11,645 --> 00:00:15,283
And now we are stuck in traffic.
5
00:00:15,349 --> 00:00:17,118
Yeah, bumper to bumper.
6
00:00:17,185 --> 00:00:20,254
Well, tell Ava I'll be there
in an hour, okay?
7
00:00:20,321 --> 00:00:21,722
Okay.
8
00:00:23,023 --> 00:00:24,825
Why didn't you
just tell him the truth?
9
00:00:24,892 --> 00:00:27,495
Because I know
my ex-husband quite well,
10
00:00:27,561 --> 00:00:30,030
and it would really upset him
if he found out
11
00:00:30,098 --> 00:00:32,633
you flew me to San Francisco
in your private jet
12
00:00:32,700 --> 00:00:35,169
just to have fried clams.
13
00:00:35,236 --> 00:00:36,204
Yeah, you're right.
14
00:00:36,270 --> 00:00:37,271
You shouldn't tell him.
15
00:00:37,338 --> 00:00:38,038
Thank you.
16
00:00:38,106 --> 00:00:38,872
I'll tell him.
17
00:00:38,939 --> 00:00:39,973
(laughs)
18
00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:41,275
I just wanted to do
something nice for you
19
00:00:41,342 --> 00:00:42,310
before you went to London.
20
00:00:42,376 --> 00:00:44,612
I'll only be gone a few weeks.
21
00:00:44,678 --> 00:00:46,814
And I...
22
00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:48,682
will miss you.
23
00:00:48,749 --> 00:00:51,619
And I will miss you.
24
00:00:51,685 --> 00:00:52,653
(gasps)
25
00:00:52,720 --> 00:00:53,754
Whoa.
What was that?
26
00:00:53,821 --> 00:00:54,855
(nervous chuckle)
27
00:00:54,922 --> 00:00:56,890
Don't worry, it's normal.
28
00:00:57,758 --> 00:00:59,727
(both screaming)
29
00:00:59,793 --> 00:01:01,362
Ahh! That's not normal!
30
00:01:01,429 --> 00:01:02,830
God, oh, God, oh, God!
31
00:01:02,896 --> 00:01:04,732
Zoey, I love you.
32
00:01:04,798 --> 00:01:06,066
I don't want to die.
33
00:01:06,134 --> 00:01:07,835
Did you hear me?
I said I love you.
34
00:01:07,901 --> 00:01:10,438
I heard you,
and I said I don't want to die.
35
00:01:22,283 --> 00:01:23,284
PILOT:
Sorry about that, Mr. Schmidt.
36
00:01:23,351 --> 00:01:24,952
Just some clear air turbulence.
37
00:01:25,018 --> 00:01:28,322
Should be smooth sailing
from here on out.
38
00:01:28,389 --> 00:01:31,792
I doubt that.
39
00:01:31,859 --> 00:01:34,562
* Men, men, men, men, manly men,
men, men *
40
00:01:34,628 --> 00:01:37,865
* Men, men, men, men,
manly men, men, men *
* Ooh
41
00:01:37,931 --> 00:01:41,001
* Men, men, men, men,
manly men *
* Ooh
* Ooh
42
00:01:41,068 --> 00:01:43,070
* Ooh-ooh-ooh,
ooh-ohh, ooh-ooh... *
43
00:01:43,137 --> 00:01:45,573
* Men, men, men, men, manly men,
men, men *
44
00:01:45,639 --> 00:01:48,842
* Ooh
* Men, men, men, men, manly men,
men, men *
45
00:01:48,909 --> 00:01:53,781
* Ah.
* Men.
* Men.
46
00:01:59,820 --> 00:02:02,490
* Men
47
00:02:02,556 --> 00:02:04,525
Aw...
48
00:02:04,592 --> 00:02:07,695
What's sadder than
an empty bottle of wine?
49
00:02:07,761 --> 00:02:12,233
Being the boyfriend of
a 40-year-old drunk soccer mom.
50
00:02:12,300 --> 00:02:13,501
What?
51
00:02:13,567 --> 00:02:14,735
Oh, I was just thinking
52
00:02:14,802 --> 00:02:16,136
you might want
to slow down a little.
53
00:02:16,204 --> 00:02:18,572
It's only wine, geez.
54
00:02:18,639 --> 00:02:21,542
It's only been wine
since last July.
55
00:02:21,609 --> 00:02:23,644
Hey, hey, that got
a three-star rating
56
00:02:23,711 --> 00:02:25,145
in the Wal-Mart wine tracker.
57
00:02:25,213 --> 00:02:26,514
What's the big deal?
58
00:02:26,580 --> 00:02:28,682
So, I need a few glasses
to loosen me up.
59
00:02:28,749 --> 00:02:30,117
Are you saying you
need to get loaded
60
00:02:30,184 --> 00:02:31,219
in order to have sex with me?
61
00:02:31,285 --> 00:02:33,487
I'm not loaded.
Fine.
62
00:02:33,554 --> 00:02:35,656
But it doesn't hurt.
63
00:02:36,890 --> 00:02:38,359
Hey, guys.
64
00:02:38,426 --> 00:02:40,160
Wally! Want some wine?
65
00:02:40,228 --> 00:02:42,696
No, I don't like to drink
when I'm depressed.
66
00:02:42,763 --> 00:02:44,498
Wally, it's the best time
to drink.
67
00:02:44,565 --> 00:02:47,668
Also when you're bored, lonely,
or just, you know,
68
00:02:47,735 --> 00:02:48,836
too sober.
69
00:02:49,670 --> 00:02:51,171
Why are you depressed?
70
00:02:51,239 --> 00:02:52,373
I don't know.
71
00:02:52,440 --> 00:02:53,641
It's kind of personal.
72
00:02:53,707 --> 00:02:55,909
Okay, no problem.
73
00:02:57,345 --> 00:02:58,712
What do you do when you
74
00:02:58,779 --> 00:03:00,448
tell someone you love them
and they don't respond?
75
00:03:00,514 --> 00:03:03,284
(cork pops)
Drink.
76
00:03:03,351 --> 00:03:05,018
Wait, you told Zoey
you love her?
77
00:03:05,085 --> 00:03:06,654
Yeah, I thought the plane
was gonna crash,
78
00:03:06,720 --> 00:03:07,921
and it just kind of came out,
79
00:03:07,988 --> 00:03:10,924
along with a little squirt
of pee.
80
00:03:11,725 --> 00:03:13,794
So, what did she say?
81
00:03:13,861 --> 00:03:18,065
(in British accent) "Oh, God,
oh, God, I don't want to die."
82
00:03:18,131 --> 00:03:21,269
Well, given the circumstance,
that's a legitimate response.
83
00:03:21,335 --> 00:03:22,570
Sure, in the moment,
84
00:03:22,636 --> 00:03:23,804
but what about
after the plane leveled out?
85
00:03:23,871 --> 00:03:25,005
Well, what did she say then?
86
00:03:25,072 --> 00:03:27,708
"Why do I smell pee?"
87
00:03:30,844 --> 00:03:32,613
Then we just sat there
in silence
88
00:03:32,680 --> 00:03:34,348
for the rest of the flight.
89
00:03:34,415 --> 00:03:36,484
Should have drank.
90
00:03:38,151 --> 00:03:41,088
Yeah, well, I'm gonna go
change my underwear
91
00:03:41,154 --> 00:03:42,556
before I get diaper rash.
92
00:03:44,292 --> 00:03:46,760
Wow, I feel bad for him.
93
00:03:46,827 --> 00:03:48,061
Yeah.
94
00:03:48,128 --> 00:03:50,130
I mean, you know, to tell
somebody you love them,
95
00:03:50,197 --> 00:03:52,300
and just get no response.
96
00:03:52,366 --> 00:03:54,468
Awful.
97
00:03:57,505 --> 00:03:59,139
You know how I feel
about you, right?
98
00:03:59,206 --> 00:04:00,274
Right.
99
00:04:00,341 --> 00:04:02,042
You know how I
feel about you.
100
00:04:02,109 --> 00:04:04,978
Oh, absolutely.
101
00:04:08,349 --> 00:04:10,284
Still nice to hear
on occasion.
102
00:04:10,351 --> 00:04:12,553
Oh, I agree.
103
00:04:15,489 --> 00:04:19,593
I can do this
as long as you can, pal.
104
00:04:23,631 --> 00:04:24,798
(knocking)
105
00:04:24,865 --> 00:04:26,066
It's open.
106
00:04:26,133 --> 00:04:27,601
Hey.
107
00:04:27,668 --> 00:04:29,069
Can I talk to you for a minute?
108
00:04:29,136 --> 00:04:30,338
Sure. What's up?
109
00:04:30,404 --> 00:04:31,872
(sighs)
110
00:04:31,939 --> 00:04:34,007
I didn't sleep at all
last night, man.
111
00:04:34,074 --> 00:04:36,176
This Zoey stuff
is making me crazy.
112
00:04:36,243 --> 00:04:37,578
Oh, man, I'm sorry.
113
00:04:37,645 --> 00:04:39,947
I'm starting to wonder
114
00:04:40,013 --> 00:04:42,616
if I should break
up with her,
115
00:04:42,683 --> 00:04:44,618
Oh, hang on. I mean,
just because she didn't say,
116
00:04:44,685 --> 00:04:46,520
"I love you," doesn't mean
she doesn't feel it.
117
00:04:46,587 --> 00:04:47,788
You think?
118
00:04:47,855 --> 00:04:49,690
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Some people have a hard time
119
00:04:49,757 --> 00:04:50,791
articulating their feelings,
120
00:04:50,858 --> 00:04:52,893
so they express them
in other ways.
121
00:04:52,960 --> 00:04:55,162
(Lyndsey vomiting loudly)
122
00:04:57,431 --> 00:04:58,332
Is that Lyndsey?
123
00:04:58,399 --> 00:04:59,667
(Lindsey groaning)
124
00:04:59,733 --> 00:05:01,902
Yeah, she had a little
too much vino last night.
125
00:05:01,969 --> 00:05:04,905
Anyway, I think you just have
to be patient with Zoey.
126
00:05:04,972 --> 00:05:07,274
(Lindsey vomiting loudly)
127
00:05:07,341 --> 00:05:09,477
Yeah, I guess.
(vomiting)
128
00:05:09,543 --> 00:05:11,144
(gagging)
129
00:05:13,747 --> 00:05:17,084
Sorry, I... I have a...
a hard time with...
130
00:05:17,150 --> 00:05:18,786
people throwing up.
131
00:05:18,852 --> 00:05:21,355
Try watching
and holding her hair.
132
00:05:21,422 --> 00:05:24,625
It's just, Zoey's going
to England for a few weeks.
133
00:05:24,692 --> 00:05:26,159
(vomiting resumes)
134
00:05:28,195 --> 00:05:29,763
And-and I'm th... (gags)
135
00:05:30,931 --> 00:05:32,933
I'm-I'm starting to
think if... (gags)
136
00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:35,803
if I'm gonna end it,
now would be a good time.
137
00:05:35,869 --> 00:05:38,038
Well, it...
(gags)
(vomiting)
138
00:05:40,841 --> 00:05:41,842
Whoa.
139
00:05:41,909 --> 00:05:43,811
You think I'd be
used to it by now.
140
00:05:43,877 --> 00:05:45,479
(groans)
No, no, no, don't...
141
00:05:45,546 --> 00:05:46,714
Don't do anything hasty.
142
00:05:46,780 --> 00:05:49,983
(vomiting continues)
143
00:05:50,050 --> 00:05:53,020
I can't... I... I can't
just leave th...
144
00:05:53,086 --> 00:05:55,556
I can't just leave things
the way that they are.
145
00:05:55,623 --> 00:05:58,125
Why don't you...
Why don't you go talk to her,
146
00:05:58,191 --> 00:06:01,228
you know, and just put
your caaards on the table.
147
00:06:03,464 --> 00:06:05,298
Yeah, maybe.
(gags)
148
00:06:05,365 --> 00:06:06,667
LINDSEY: Crap,
149
00:06:06,734 --> 00:06:08,669
now I've got to change my bra.
150
00:06:08,736 --> 00:06:10,303
(Lindsey grunts)
151
00:06:11,905 --> 00:06:14,341
I-I-I mean, maybe we should
just give her some privacy.
152
00:06:14,408 --> 00:06:18,979
LINDSEY: Oh, God,
now it's coming out both ends!
153
00:06:19,046 --> 00:06:21,248
(vomiting resumes)
Good idea.
154
00:06:26,119 --> 00:06:28,088
ZOEY: Ava, you need
to get dressed.
155
00:06:28,155 --> 00:06:30,157
Mummy has to go.
156
00:06:32,493 --> 00:06:33,727
Walden.
157
00:06:33,794 --> 00:06:35,228
De-e-lightful.
158
00:06:35,295 --> 00:06:39,132
Nigel, di-isgusting.
159
00:06:41,101 --> 00:06:42,903
What, are you here
to pick up your daughter?
160
00:06:42,970 --> 00:06:44,071
I am.
161
00:06:44,137 --> 00:06:46,474
Zoey tell you that we took
my jet to San Francisco
162
00:06:46,540 --> 00:06:48,341
last night for fried clams?
163
00:06:48,408 --> 00:06:51,044
No, she did not.
164
00:06:51,111 --> 00:06:53,146
Well, we did.
165
00:06:53,213 --> 00:06:55,783
Are you sharing
this information
just to upset me?
166
00:06:55,849 --> 00:06:59,720
Actually, I was hoping to make
you feel inadequate as well.
167
00:06:59,787 --> 00:07:00,821
Oh, Walden.
168
00:07:00,888 --> 00:07:02,322
What are you
doing here?
169
00:07:02,389 --> 00:07:03,724
Nigel, I'm running late,
170
00:07:03,791 --> 00:07:05,425
so will you for once please
make yourself useful
171
00:07:05,493 --> 00:07:06,627
and help Ava get ready?
172
00:07:06,694 --> 00:07:09,630
Well, only because
you asked so nicely.
173
00:07:09,697 --> 00:07:11,098
Enjoy her.
174
00:07:11,164 --> 00:07:12,265
Hi.
175
00:07:12,332 --> 00:07:13,333
We need to talk.
176
00:07:13,400 --> 00:07:15,368
Now? I'm about to leave
for the airport.
177
00:07:15,435 --> 00:07:16,403
I'll take you.
178
00:07:16,470 --> 00:07:18,271
Thanks, but I have a car coming.
179
00:07:18,338 --> 00:07:19,540
Now, where is my passport?
180
00:07:19,607 --> 00:07:20,974
Nigel, have you
seen my passport?
181
00:07:21,041 --> 00:07:22,409
I don't live
here, Zoey,
182
00:07:22,476 --> 00:07:24,177
I merely
pay the rent.
183
00:07:24,244 --> 00:07:26,379
Look, I just don't want
to leave things between us
184
00:07:26,446 --> 00:07:27,515
the way that they are.
185
00:07:27,581 --> 00:07:28,415
Everything's fine.
186
00:07:28,482 --> 00:07:29,650
No, it's not.
187
00:07:29,717 --> 00:07:31,118
I said I love you,
and the only thing
188
00:07:31,184 --> 00:07:33,921
I got in response is the not
very surprising information
189
00:07:33,987 --> 00:07:36,056
that you don't want to die
in a crashing plane.
190
00:07:36,123 --> 00:07:37,925
Can't we discuss this
when I get back?
191
00:07:37,991 --> 00:07:39,026
What's there to discuss?
192
00:07:39,092 --> 00:07:41,929
You either love me,
or you don't.
193
00:07:41,995 --> 00:07:44,632
Walden, I'm about to leave
on an important business trip,
194
00:07:44,698 --> 00:07:47,267
and the last thing I need
right now is more pressure.
195
00:07:47,334 --> 00:07:48,468
I'm not pressuring you.
196
00:07:48,536 --> 00:07:50,470
I'm just asking you for a
simple, definitive answer
197
00:07:50,538 --> 00:07:51,839
right now before you leave.
198
00:07:51,905 --> 00:07:53,406
(glass breaking)
What was that?
199
00:07:53,473 --> 00:07:56,076
Sorry, just knocked over
your Chinese table lamp.
200
00:07:56,143 --> 00:07:57,611
Perhaps you can
buy another one
201
00:07:57,678 --> 00:07:59,947
next time you jet
to San Francisco.
202
00:08:01,481 --> 00:08:02,883
It came up.
203
00:08:02,950 --> 00:08:06,419
I'm sorry, I just don't have
the time for this now, okay?
204
00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:08,321
Ava, are you dressed?
205
00:08:10,157 --> 00:08:13,093
That seems pretty
definitive to me.
206
00:08:15,863 --> 00:08:16,964
That's it.
207
00:08:17,030 --> 00:08:18,966
No more relationships.
I'm done.
208
00:08:19,032 --> 00:08:20,433
Finished; just over.
209
00:08:20,500 --> 00:08:21,569
(elevator bell dings)
210
00:08:21,635 --> 00:08:23,771
(exhales)
211
00:08:26,239 --> 00:08:27,440
Hi.
212
00:08:27,507 --> 00:08:29,242
Hi.
213
00:08:32,245 --> 00:08:33,681
And I'm back.
214
00:08:33,747 --> 00:08:35,749
* Men
215
00:08:41,789 --> 00:08:44,592
Hey, can I have 75 bucks
for the new Call of Duty?
216
00:08:44,658 --> 00:08:47,327
$75 for a video game?
217
00:08:47,394 --> 00:08:49,329
Think of it as an investment.
218
00:08:52,165 --> 00:08:53,767
An investment?
219
00:08:53,834 --> 00:08:55,969
Yeah. If I go into the
army after high school,
220
00:08:56,036 --> 00:08:59,006
I'll already know how
to kill terrorists.
221
00:09:00,073 --> 00:09:02,876
Who had corn chowder
for dinner last night?
222
00:09:02,943 --> 00:09:05,112
How do you know anybody
had corn chowder last night?
223
00:09:05,178 --> 00:09:08,716
'Cause it's dripping
all over your bathroom.
Oh.
224
00:09:08,782 --> 00:09:09,750
Sorry about that.
225
00:09:09,817 --> 00:09:12,319
Uh, Lyndsey got a little bit...
226
00:09:12,385 --> 00:09:13,787
queasy this morning.
227
00:09:13,854 --> 00:09:14,888
Is she pregnant?
228
00:09:14,955 --> 00:09:17,224
Oh, no, no, gosh, no.
229
00:09:17,290 --> 00:09:18,525
(uneasy chuckle)
230
00:09:18,592 --> 00:09:20,227
Absolutely not.
231
00:09:21,995 --> 00:09:23,797
Here.
232
00:09:23,864 --> 00:09:24,998
Me?
233
00:09:25,065 --> 00:09:26,667
Not my girlfriend,
not my vomit,
234
00:09:26,734 --> 00:09:28,568
not my problem.
235
00:09:28,636 --> 00:09:29,569
I'll clean it up.
236
00:09:29,637 --> 00:09:30,403
You will?
237
00:09:30,470 --> 00:09:31,739
For 75 bucks.
238
00:09:31,805 --> 00:09:33,573
WOMAN:
That's great.
239
00:09:33,641 --> 00:09:35,976
Hey, everybody.
240
00:09:37,911 --> 00:09:39,980
This is Jennifer.
Hi.
241
00:09:40,781 --> 00:09:44,685
BERTA: Hey.
Hey.
242
00:09:44,752 --> 00:09:45,485
Well, let's go take
a walk on the beach.
243
00:09:45,552 --> 00:09:46,253
Great.
244
00:09:46,319 --> 00:09:47,354
Uh, Walden,
before you go,
245
00:09:47,420 --> 00:09:50,123
can I talk to you
for a minute?
246
00:09:54,795 --> 00:09:55,963
I'll bring him right back.
247
00:09:56,029 --> 00:09:57,397
You'd better.
248
00:10:00,701 --> 00:10:01,835
My name's Jake.
249
00:10:01,902 --> 00:10:03,270
Hi, Jake.
250
00:10:03,336 --> 00:10:06,974
My friends call me... Jake.
251
00:10:09,777 --> 00:10:11,178
What are you doing?
252
00:10:11,244 --> 00:10:12,412
Zoey made it perfectly clear.
253
00:10:12,479 --> 00:10:14,081
She doesn't love me or need me.
254
00:10:14,147 --> 00:10:15,448
So, I'm moving on.
255
00:10:15,515 --> 00:10:17,718
You left here an hour ago.
256
00:10:17,785 --> 00:10:19,552
How did you find
another girl already?
257
00:10:19,619 --> 00:10:20,954
Oh, I met her in the elevator.
258
00:10:21,021 --> 00:10:22,589
I've been in
a million elevators.
259
00:10:22,656 --> 00:10:24,792
I never once walked out
with a girl like that.
260
00:10:24,858 --> 00:10:26,727
Maybe you need to work
on your attitude.
261
00:10:26,794 --> 00:10:29,596
What exactly did Zoey say?
262
00:10:29,663 --> 00:10:31,198
No, it's what she didn't say.
263
00:10:31,264 --> 00:10:32,833
She didn't say, "I love you."
264
00:10:32,900 --> 00:10:35,869
Oh, please! If I insisted on
women saying "I love you,"
265
00:10:35,936 --> 00:10:39,172
I'd have never have had a
girlfriend, a wife or a mother.
266
00:10:39,239 --> 00:10:41,241
(ringtone playing)
267
00:10:42,575 --> 00:10:45,112
Oh. It's Zoey.
268
00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:49,482
Hello?
269
00:10:49,549 --> 00:10:52,052
So, Jennifer,
how old are you?
270
00:10:52,119 --> 00:10:53,687
24. How old are you?
271
00:10:53,754 --> 00:10:55,956
I'm... 24-and-a-half.
272
00:10:56,023 --> 00:10:57,958
Hmm.
273
00:11:03,263 --> 00:11:05,999
Hmm?
274
00:11:06,066 --> 00:11:08,035
I'm surprised
that you called.
275
00:11:08,101 --> 00:11:09,236
Where are you?
276
00:11:09,302 --> 00:11:10,503
On the plane.
277
00:11:10,570 --> 00:11:11,638
We're sitting at the gate.
278
00:11:11,705 --> 00:11:13,073
Are you okay?
ZOEY: No.
279
00:11:13,140 --> 00:11:15,675
I feel miserable
about the way we left things.
280
00:11:15,743 --> 00:11:17,677
You do?
ZOEY: Yeah.
281
00:11:17,745 --> 00:11:19,780
I've just been so stressed
and busy lately
282
00:11:19,847 --> 00:11:21,849
that I haven't been able
to think straight.
283
00:11:21,915 --> 00:11:24,918
But sitting here
for the last 40 minutes
284
00:11:24,985 --> 00:11:28,756
without so much
as a bloody glass of water,
285
00:11:28,822 --> 00:11:31,224
I've come to a realization.
286
00:11:31,291 --> 00:11:32,559
I'm listening.
287
00:11:32,625 --> 00:11:34,661
The reason I haven't said...
288
00:11:34,728 --> 00:11:36,663
those words to you
289
00:11:36,730 --> 00:11:38,665
is because I'm afraid
290
00:11:38,732 --> 00:11:41,835
that if I do say them,
something bad will happen.
291
00:11:41,902 --> 00:11:43,436
Why would you think that?
292
00:11:43,503 --> 00:11:45,372
'Cause it always has.
293
00:11:45,438 --> 00:11:47,107
I've only said
those words twice.
294
00:11:47,174 --> 00:11:49,342
The last time,
I ended up married
295
00:11:49,409 --> 00:11:52,545
to an insufferable twit.
296
00:11:52,612 --> 00:11:53,646
And the time before that?
297
00:11:53,713 --> 00:11:55,115
I got a thank-you note
298
00:11:55,182 --> 00:11:58,351
and a Swatch watch
from Russell Brand.
299
00:11:58,418 --> 00:11:59,853
Russell Brand?
300
00:11:59,920 --> 00:12:02,655
Mm, not my proudest moment.
301
00:12:02,722 --> 00:12:04,091
Okay. I get it.
302
00:12:04,157 --> 00:12:05,993
So, you're just superstitious
about saying it,
303
00:12:06,059 --> 00:12:08,695
but it has nothing to do with
the way that you feel about me?
304
00:12:08,762 --> 00:12:11,231
No. Not at all.
305
00:12:11,298 --> 00:12:13,700
In fact, the whole reason
I called is
306
00:12:13,767 --> 00:12:15,335
to tell you that I honestly
I....
307
00:12:15,402 --> 00:12:16,736
Oh, there you are.
308
00:12:16,804 --> 00:12:20,507
Ooh! Cool bedroom.
309
00:12:20,573 --> 00:12:21,441
Who's that?
310
00:12:21,508 --> 00:12:24,411
Uh... Berta.
311
00:12:24,477 --> 00:12:27,280
You couldn't even wait
till my plane takes off?!
312
00:12:27,347 --> 00:12:29,482
No, no, Zoey, it's not
what you think!
Oh, good-bye, Walden.
313
00:12:29,549 --> 00:12:31,885
Zoey, just...
314
00:12:33,353 --> 00:12:35,823
* Awkward!
315
00:12:45,065 --> 00:12:49,002
Oh... I can't believe I kissed
the mouth that did this.
316
00:12:50,637 --> 00:12:53,206
Alan, I need to
talk to you. Oh!
317
00:12:54,674 --> 00:12:56,276
Can we do it out here?
318
00:12:56,343 --> 00:12:57,744
Gladly.
319
00:12:57,811 --> 00:12:59,179
Oh, good Lord!
320
00:12:59,246 --> 00:13:02,249
Looks like someone
cleaned a deer in the bathtub.
321
00:13:04,651 --> 00:13:05,819
What's going on?
322
00:13:05,886 --> 00:13:07,320
Zoey FaceTimed me
from the plane
323
00:13:07,387 --> 00:13:08,788
to tell me that she loves me.
324
00:13:08,856 --> 00:13:10,924
Good.
But she saw Jennifer
in my bedroom.
325
00:13:10,991 --> 00:13:13,426
Bad.
So, naturally, I immediately
tried to call her back.
326
00:13:13,493 --> 00:13:14,828
Good.
But she wouldn't answer.
327
00:13:14,895 --> 00:13:16,196
Bad.
So I'm gonna fuel up my jet,
328
00:13:16,263 --> 00:13:17,831
and fly to London
and beg for forgiveness.
329
00:13:17,898 --> 00:13:20,233
Good.
Will you stop
that, Alan?
330
00:13:20,300 --> 00:13:22,302
I-I need you to
come with me.
Me? Why?
331
00:13:22,369 --> 00:13:24,137
Because I might need a witness,
and you can say
332
00:13:24,204 --> 00:13:25,672
that you saw that
nothing happened with Jennifer.
333
00:13:25,738 --> 00:13:27,140
Great. I'm your man.
334
00:13:29,809 --> 00:13:31,411
I am not gonna touch that glove.
335
00:13:32,512 --> 00:13:33,513
Come on.
336
00:13:33,580 --> 00:13:34,747
Oh, uh, wait.
337
00:13:34,814 --> 00:13:36,183
I promised Lyndsey
I'd take her out
338
00:13:36,249 --> 00:13:37,817
to a big, fancy,
romantic dinner tonight.
339
00:13:37,885 --> 00:13:39,119
Bring her.
Really?
340
00:13:39,186 --> 00:13:39,920
Yeah, sure.
341
00:13:39,987 --> 00:13:40,888
Well, I guess a private jet
342
00:13:40,954 --> 00:13:42,222
to London does beat
343
00:13:42,289 --> 00:13:43,924
an 11-year-old Volvo
to the Olive Garden.
344
00:13:43,991 --> 00:13:45,458
I'll-I'll pack a bag.
345
00:13:45,525 --> 00:13:46,726
No, no, no, there's no time.
346
00:13:46,793 --> 00:13:47,895
I'll buy you whatever you need
in London.
347
00:13:47,961 --> 00:13:49,262
You're kidding.
Yeah. Come on.
348
00:13:49,329 --> 00:13:51,431
Hey, if Zoey won't say it,
I will.
349
00:13:51,498 --> 00:13:53,733
I love you, Walden Schmidt.
350
00:13:55,502 --> 00:13:57,704
(engines roaring)
351
00:13:59,672 --> 00:14:01,608
(sighs contentedly)
352
00:14:01,674 --> 00:14:03,610
(clears throat)
353
00:14:03,676 --> 00:14:05,278
Thank you, Walden.
354
00:14:05,345 --> 00:14:07,280
This is just incredible.
355
00:14:07,347 --> 00:14:08,815
Glad you like it.
Mm.
356
00:14:08,882 --> 00:14:10,750
What did your son say
when you told him
357
00:14:10,817 --> 00:14:12,185
you were flying
to London tonight?
358
00:14:12,252 --> 00:14:14,988
He told me to bring him back
some English pot.
359
00:14:16,356 --> 00:14:19,459
This is definitely
the way to travel.
360
00:14:19,526 --> 00:14:21,929
No boarding passes,
no airport security,
361
00:14:21,995 --> 00:14:23,330
none of those scanners
362
00:14:23,396 --> 00:14:25,265
that show strangers
the size of your dingle.
363
00:14:25,332 --> 00:14:28,835
Don't you worry about
your dingle, honey.
364
00:14:28,902 --> 00:14:31,371
He's a grower, not a shower.
365
00:14:31,438 --> 00:14:32,539
Yeah, he told me.
366
00:14:32,605 --> 00:14:34,374
He tells everyone.
367
00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:43,616
JAKE: Can I interest
you in a brewski?
368
00:14:43,683 --> 00:14:44,251
What?
369
00:14:44,317 --> 00:14:45,485
That's Polish for
370
00:14:45,552 --> 00:14:47,955
"Do you want a beer?"
371
00:14:48,021 --> 00:14:50,890
I've traveled
extensively through Asia.
372
00:14:52,625 --> 00:14:54,661
Oh. Thanks.
373
00:14:56,296 --> 00:14:58,765
Are you sure Walden said
he'd be right back?
374
00:14:58,831 --> 00:14:59,899
Forget Walden.
375
00:14:59,967 --> 00:15:01,568
Let's talk about us.
376
00:15:01,634 --> 00:15:02,635
Us?
377
00:15:02,702 --> 00:15:05,572
That's English
for you and me.
378
00:15:10,810 --> 00:15:13,113
LYNDSEY:
* Poppin' bottles in the ice
379
00:15:13,180 --> 00:15:14,681
* Like a blizzard
380
00:15:14,747 --> 00:15:16,549
* When we drunk, we do it right,
gettin' slizzard *
381
00:15:16,616 --> 00:15:18,485
* Like a G-6, like a G-6...
382
00:15:18,551 --> 00:15:20,253
Uh, honey, honey,
why don't you take your seat
383
00:15:20,320 --> 00:15:21,388
and put your seatbelt on?
384
00:15:21,454 --> 00:15:23,490
Pish, pish, party pooper.
385
00:15:23,556 --> 00:15:28,128
Wally, this is so romantic
what you're doing.
386
00:15:28,195 --> 00:15:31,431
You are flying
across a whole ocean
387
00:15:31,498 --> 00:15:34,134
just to win back
the woman you love.
388
00:15:34,201 --> 00:15:36,403
Thank you.
389
00:15:36,469 --> 00:15:39,772
Alan, sweetie,
I need to tell you something.
390
00:15:39,839 --> 00:15:40,974
Yeah?
391
00:15:41,041 --> 00:15:43,010
I know I give you a hard time,
392
00:15:43,076 --> 00:15:45,578
but in my heart,
393
00:15:45,645 --> 00:15:49,682
I really, really
love... (gags)
394
00:15:51,184 --> 00:15:52,285
(Lyndsey vomits loudly)
395
00:15:52,352 --> 00:15:53,620
ALAN:
Oh, God!
396
00:15:53,686 --> 00:15:55,288
Oh. Aah.
397
00:15:55,355 --> 00:15:56,423
I'm so sorry.
398
00:15:56,489 --> 00:15:57,524
ALAN:
Oh! Oh!
399
00:15:57,590 --> 00:15:59,259
LYNDSEY:
Oh. Oh.
400
00:15:59,326 --> 00:16:00,760
So sorry.
Here. Here.
401
00:16:00,827 --> 00:16:01,928
Oh, thank you.
402
00:16:01,995 --> 00:16:04,064
(Lyndsey vomiting,
Alan gagging)
403
00:16:04,131 --> 00:16:05,298
Oh, God!
404
00:16:05,365 --> 00:16:07,267
Oh!
Oh, my God!
405
00:16:07,334 --> 00:16:08,568
Oh, hang on.
Oh, God!
406
00:16:08,635 --> 00:16:10,070
I'll-I'll get...
I'll get some towels.
407
00:16:11,138 --> 00:16:12,305
(yelling)
408
00:16:12,372 --> 00:16:13,640
PILOT (over PA): Okay, folks,
409
00:16:13,706 --> 00:16:15,642
we've got clear skies ahead,
410
00:16:15,708 --> 00:16:18,345
and we'll be in London
in approximately four hours.
411
00:16:18,411 --> 00:16:21,348
So, just sit back and enjoy
the rest of your flight.
412
00:16:21,414 --> 00:16:24,784
(vomit splashing,
Walden crying)
413
00:16:24,851 --> 00:16:27,354
* Men.
414
00:16:27,420 --> 00:16:29,489
Bottom line, Zoey,
I can assure you
415
00:16:29,556 --> 00:16:32,159
that nothing happened
between Walden and that woman.
416
00:16:32,225 --> 00:16:33,493
Really?
417
00:16:33,560 --> 00:16:35,495
What possible reason
would I have to lie to you?
418
00:16:35,562 --> 00:16:36,729
Well, for one thing, he gave
419
00:16:36,796 --> 00:16:38,598
you and Lyndsey a
free trip to London,
420
00:16:38,665 --> 00:16:40,300
where you all
inexplicably decided
421
00:16:40,367 --> 00:16:42,602
to dress up
like Japanese tourists.
422
00:16:43,270 --> 00:16:44,471
That's my fault.
423
00:16:44,537 --> 00:16:46,139
I kind of threw up
on them a little.
424
00:16:46,206 --> 00:16:48,608
A little?
I might have to get a new plane.
425
00:16:48,675 --> 00:16:51,478
Yes, yes, yes, that's
all very interesting,
426
00:16:51,544 --> 00:16:52,745
but the fact remains
427
00:16:52,812 --> 00:16:54,447
that you still invited
my neighbor Jennifer--
428
00:16:54,514 --> 00:16:55,782
the whore
from the seventh floor--
429
00:16:55,848 --> 00:16:56,883
back to your house.
430
00:16:56,949 --> 00:16:58,751
Yeah, but nothing happened.
431
00:16:58,818 --> 00:17:01,588
Nothing happened 'cause
I called and interrupted you!
432
00:17:01,654 --> 00:17:05,192
Okay, I think we're saying
the same thing here.
433
00:17:05,258 --> 00:17:06,859
Listen, the fact is, I love you.
434
00:17:06,926 --> 00:17:09,329
Okay, and I was an idiot
to put pressure on you,
435
00:17:09,396 --> 00:17:14,501
I made a terrible mistake,
and I'm very, very sorry.
436
00:17:19,706 --> 00:17:23,210
Okay. Uh, we sh...
437
00:17:23,276 --> 00:17:25,278
I think we should go.
438
00:17:25,345 --> 00:17:27,180
(sighs)
439
00:17:29,316 --> 00:17:30,850
I do love you, Walden.
440
00:17:33,019 --> 00:17:34,954
You do?
441
00:17:35,021 --> 00:17:36,789
Of course I do.
442
00:17:36,856 --> 00:17:39,659
That's why I called you
from the plane, you ninny.
443
00:17:41,494 --> 00:17:43,430
So...
444
00:17:43,496 --> 00:17:45,432
you forgive me?
445
00:17:45,498 --> 00:17:46,999
Well, that depends.
446
00:17:47,066 --> 00:17:49,536
Do I have to worry every time
we have a fight
447
00:17:49,602 --> 00:17:52,239
that you're going to go out
and pick up another woman?
448
00:17:52,305 --> 00:17:55,408
Not as long
as I know that you love me.
449
00:17:55,475 --> 00:17:57,677
Good answer.
450
00:17:59,479 --> 00:18:01,614
Come here.
451
00:18:12,525 --> 00:18:14,527
I love you, Lyndsey.
452
00:18:14,594 --> 00:18:17,797
And I love you.
453
00:18:18,631 --> 00:18:19,832
(gagging)
454
00:18:19,899 --> 00:18:21,834
ALAN:
Oh, not in my mouth!
455
00:18:21,901 --> 00:18:23,570
(Lyndsey and Alan gagging)
Oh, God.
456
00:18:23,636 --> 00:18:24,971
Oh, dear.
457
00:18:25,037 --> 00:18:27,240
(Walden and Zoey retching)
458
00:18:36,549 --> 00:18:38,918
No, seriously, dude. No lie.
459
00:18:38,985 --> 00:18:42,489
All right, fine,
you don't believe me? Here.
460
00:18:46,859 --> 00:18:50,563
Yup. Five times.
Best half hour of my life.
461
00:18:50,630 --> 00:18:53,466
Captioning sponsored by
CBS and WARNER BROS. TELEVISION
462
00:18:53,533 --> 00:18:55,535
and TOYOTA.
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