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1
00:00:02,270 --> 00:00:03,704
* Men.
2
00:00:07,541 --> 00:00:09,143
(sighs)
3
00:00:09,210 --> 00:00:10,611
Oh, God.
4
00:00:10,678 --> 00:00:11,879
Walden.
(grunts)
5
00:00:11,945 --> 00:00:13,547
Wake up.
You have to go.
6
00:00:13,614 --> 00:00:14,782
What?
7
00:00:14,848 --> 00:00:16,084
My daughter's going
to be up soon.
8
00:00:16,150 --> 00:00:18,752
I don't want her to
find you in here.
9
00:00:18,819 --> 00:00:20,454
(grunting):
Okay...
10
00:00:20,521 --> 00:00:21,955
I'm awake.
11
00:00:22,022 --> 00:00:23,957
Now get dressed.
12
00:00:24,024 --> 00:00:25,326
All right.
13
00:00:25,393 --> 00:00:27,461
Um... before I go,
14
00:00:27,528 --> 00:00:30,298
I do have that
morning phenomenon
15
00:00:30,364 --> 00:00:31,832
that sometimes
happens to fellas.
16
00:00:31,899 --> 00:00:33,734
You know,
in the morning.
17
00:00:33,801 --> 00:00:36,470
I don't care about
your erection, okay?
18
00:00:36,537 --> 00:00:38,539
Okay, fine, fine.
19
00:00:38,606 --> 00:00:41,175
I just thought
that I would point it out
20
00:00:41,242 --> 00:00:42,710
since it is...
21
00:00:42,776 --> 00:00:45,179
you know, pointing out.
22
00:00:45,246 --> 00:00:46,914
Very impressive.
23
00:00:46,980 --> 00:00:50,184
Now, skedaddle before
Ava wakes up, okay?
24
00:00:50,251 --> 00:00:52,686
You know, at some point,
I'm going to have to meet her.
25
00:00:52,753 --> 00:00:55,156
At some point, yes,
but not today.
26
00:00:55,223 --> 00:00:57,758
Yeah, well, I kind of feel
like I already know her.
27
00:00:57,825 --> 00:00:59,493
I mean, I'm certainly familiar
28
00:00:59,560 --> 00:01:02,330
with her port of entry
into this world.
29
00:01:03,831 --> 00:01:05,533
Yes. Ha ha.
30
00:01:05,599 --> 00:01:07,000
Now, get out.
31
00:01:07,067 --> 00:01:08,969
AVA:
Mummy?
32
00:01:09,036 --> 00:01:10,338
(gasps)
33
00:01:10,404 --> 00:01:11,772
Uh... closet!
34
00:01:11,839 --> 00:01:14,007
Really? The closet?
Isn't that kind of cliché?
35
00:01:14,074 --> 00:01:15,276
Oh, God. In!
36
00:01:17,345 --> 00:01:19,079
I want to snuggle.
37
00:01:19,147 --> 00:01:20,281
Good idea!
38
00:01:20,348 --> 00:01:22,283
Let's snuggle in your room.
39
00:01:22,350 --> 00:01:24,118
No, here.
40
00:01:25,153 --> 00:01:26,354
Here. Of course.
41
00:01:26,420 --> 00:01:28,522
Um, good.
42
00:01:28,589 --> 00:01:29,990
Now, close your eyes,
43
00:01:30,057 --> 00:01:31,959
and Mummy will give you
a super-duper snuggle.
44
00:01:32,025 --> 00:01:32,760
Mwah!
45
00:01:32,826 --> 00:01:34,462
Are your eyes closed?
46
00:01:34,528 --> 00:01:35,563
Uh-huh.
47
00:01:35,629 --> 00:01:37,765
Are Winston's eyes closed?
48
00:01:37,831 --> 00:01:39,800
He's not real, Mummy.
49
00:01:39,867 --> 00:01:42,303
All righty.
50
00:01:42,370 --> 00:01:44,638
(coughing):
Get out!
51
00:01:46,507 --> 00:01:49,743
(no voice)
52
00:01:52,446 --> 00:01:53,381
All done.
53
00:01:53,447 --> 00:01:55,549
Now, what do you say
54
00:01:55,616 --> 00:01:57,518
we make some pancakes?
55
00:01:57,585 --> 00:01:58,819
Yay!
56
00:01:58,886 --> 00:02:02,656
Pancakes! Pancakes!
Pancakes! Pancakes!
57
00:02:02,723 --> 00:02:04,091
Pancake train!
Pancakes!
58
00:02:04,158 --> 00:02:07,661
BOTH: Pancakes! Pancakes!
Pancakes! Pancakes!
59
00:02:09,797 --> 00:02:13,501
I like pancakes.
60
00:02:13,567 --> 00:02:16,437
AVA: I left Winston
on your bed.
61
00:02:29,283 --> 00:02:31,452
(gasping)
62
00:02:31,519 --> 00:02:34,922
I could totally be Spider-Man.
63
00:02:36,657 --> 00:02:38,091
(thud, groan)
64
00:02:39,493 --> 00:02:43,030
(high-pitched): I think I broke
my morning phenomenon.
65
00:02:43,096 --> 00:02:46,033
* Men, men, men, men, manly men,
men, men *
66
00:02:46,099 --> 00:02:49,002
* Ah.
* Men.
* Men.
67
00:02:53,407 --> 00:02:54,875
* Men.
68
00:02:55,943 --> 00:02:58,111
Can I ask you a
personal question?
69
00:02:58,178 --> 00:03:01,014
Does it involve money,
drugs or pregnancy?
70
00:03:01,081 --> 00:03:01,915
No.
71
00:03:01,982 --> 00:03:04,785
How can I help you, my son?
72
00:03:04,852 --> 00:03:07,020
You and Eldridge's mom
are dating again, right?
73
00:03:07,087 --> 00:03:09,723
Right.
You think you'll
ever get married?
74
00:03:09,790 --> 00:03:11,292
Uh, well, actually,
we talked about that
75
00:03:11,359 --> 00:03:13,060
and decided the only
reason to do it
76
00:03:13,126 --> 00:03:15,229
would be if we wanted
to have more kids,
77
00:03:15,296 --> 00:03:17,030
and since we both...
78
00:03:23,103 --> 00:03:26,740
...had so much success
the first time,
79
00:03:26,807 --> 00:03:28,742
there's really no point.
80
00:03:28,809 --> 00:03:29,777
Oh.
81
00:03:29,843 --> 00:03:31,245
What brought that up?
82
00:03:31,312 --> 00:03:33,314
Oh. Me and Eldridge
were thinking
83
00:03:33,381 --> 00:03:35,215
it would be cool if
we were brothers,
84
00:03:35,283 --> 00:03:38,252
so that we could switch
places to fool people.
85
00:03:38,319 --> 00:03:40,354
That only works
if you're twins, Jake.
86
00:03:40,421 --> 00:03:42,923
How do you know
for sure I'm Jake?
87
00:03:46,159 --> 00:03:47,561
Morning.
Morning.
88
00:03:47,628 --> 00:03:49,029
What happened to you?
89
00:03:49,096 --> 00:03:53,033
I was perched on a dresser,
and I fell on my penis.
90
00:03:53,100 --> 00:03:55,903
Oh. I hate when
that happens.
91
00:03:58,005 --> 00:03:59,807
Uh... uh, dare I ask?
92
00:03:59,873 --> 00:04:02,142
Uh, yeah, I was hiding
from Zoey's daughter.
93
00:04:02,209 --> 00:04:05,012
Oh. Still doesn't want you
to meet her?
No.
94
00:04:05,078 --> 00:04:06,680
Well, it's not unusual
for single moms
95
00:04:06,747 --> 00:04:08,015
to be protective of their kids.
96
00:04:08,081 --> 00:04:09,783
And then, when you are
introduced to them,
97
00:04:09,850 --> 00:04:12,453
you're "Uncle Alan, who's on
his way back to Cleveland,
98
00:04:12,520 --> 00:04:14,288
"and you don't have
to remember his name
99
00:04:14,355 --> 00:04:17,024
because you'll never,
ever see him again."
100
00:04:17,090 --> 00:04:20,428
What do you do to women
to piss them off so much?
101
00:04:20,494 --> 00:04:23,564
If I knew,
don't you think I'd stop?
102
00:04:24,765 --> 00:04:25,966
Well, the daughter stuff
103
00:04:26,033 --> 00:04:28,001
isn't the only thing
bothering me about Zoey.
104
00:04:28,068 --> 00:04:29,870
Oh, I thought you guys
were getting along great.
105
00:04:29,937 --> 00:04:31,472
Well, we are...
most of the time.
106
00:04:31,539 --> 00:04:33,941
It's just...
107
00:04:34,007 --> 00:04:35,543
Have you ever been
in a relationship
108
00:04:35,609 --> 00:04:37,511
where you're really
into each other,
109
00:04:37,578 --> 00:04:39,647
but the sex
isn't everything it could be?
110
00:04:39,713 --> 00:04:41,048
Oh, sure.
111
00:04:41,114 --> 00:04:44,251
Uh, except for the
"really into each other" part.
112
00:04:44,318 --> 00:04:46,053
It's not that the sex is bad,
Mm-hmm.
113
00:04:46,119 --> 00:04:47,621
it's just that...
114
00:04:47,688 --> 00:04:50,123
lately, it seems like she
could just take it or leave it.
115
00:04:50,190 --> 00:04:51,892
Oh... "Take it or leave it."
116
00:04:51,959 --> 00:04:53,994
Boy, I know that song.
117
00:04:54,061 --> 00:04:55,429
But my philosophy is,
118
00:04:55,496 --> 00:04:58,332
as long as she's taking it,
I'm not leaving.
119
00:04:58,399 --> 00:05:01,068
You know what she said to me
last night, after we had sex?
120
00:05:01,134 --> 00:05:02,169
(British accent):
"That was nice.
121
00:05:02,235 --> 00:05:04,004
Now let's do something fun."
122
00:05:05,473 --> 00:05:07,274
Well, I suppose
that's better than,
123
00:05:07,341 --> 00:05:11,111
"Put your pants on so we can get
back to the family reunion."
124
00:05:11,178 --> 00:05:12,946
You're kidding, right?
125
00:05:13,013 --> 00:05:16,350
Oh, she was just
a cousin by marriage.
126
00:05:16,417 --> 00:05:19,420
So have you actually talked
to Zoey about your problem?
127
00:05:19,487 --> 00:05:21,755
No. I was just hoping
it would just get better.
128
00:05:21,822 --> 00:05:23,491
Oh, no, no, no. Take it from me.
129
00:05:23,557 --> 00:05:25,325
There are two things
in long-term relationships
130
00:05:25,393 --> 00:05:27,027
that never get better
by themselves.
131
00:05:27,094 --> 00:05:28,496
One is sex.
132
00:05:28,562 --> 00:05:30,097
What's the other one?
133
00:05:30,163 --> 00:05:31,365
Does it matter?
134
00:05:35,703 --> 00:05:37,337
ZOEY:
It's all arranged.
135
00:05:37,405 --> 00:05:39,172
Ava's going to be
spending tonight with her dad.
136
00:05:39,239 --> 00:05:40,374
Great.
137
00:05:40,441 --> 00:05:41,909
So sleepover at my house?
138
00:05:41,975 --> 00:05:43,411
Sounds heavenly.
139
00:05:43,477 --> 00:05:45,613
Although I don't know
how much sleeping we'll do.
140
00:05:45,679 --> 00:05:47,515
(chuckles)
Cheeky monkey.
141
00:05:47,581 --> 00:05:49,316
Shall I bring around
some Chinese?
142
00:05:49,383 --> 00:05:50,584
Hey, the more, the merrier.
143
00:05:50,651 --> 00:05:52,586
Ha, ha.
144
00:05:52,653 --> 00:05:55,889
You know, if there's
anything I can do
145
00:05:55,956 --> 00:05:59,427
to, you know,
make you happier...
146
00:05:59,493 --> 00:06:01,395
What on Earth
are you talking about?
147
00:06:01,462 --> 00:06:04,264
I just... I couldn't help
but notice...
148
00:06:04,331 --> 00:06:05,466
(chuckles)
149
00:06:05,533 --> 00:06:07,067
I can't even say it.
150
00:06:07,134 --> 00:06:08,368
(laughs)
Come on, Walden.
151
00:06:08,436 --> 00:06:09,903
You can tell me anything.
152
00:06:09,970 --> 00:06:11,839
All right.
153
00:06:13,206 --> 00:06:14,608
The sex.
154
00:06:14,675 --> 00:06:16,544
You don't... you don't seem
to be enjoying the sex.
155
00:06:16,610 --> 00:06:17,845
Okay, I can't talk about that.
156
00:06:17,911 --> 00:06:20,213
Okay, y-you said we could talk
about anything.
157
00:06:20,280 --> 00:06:21,515
Yeah, but not about that.
158
00:06:21,582 --> 00:06:23,951
And certainly not on a computer.
(groans)
159
00:06:24,017 --> 00:06:25,486
Why? Nobody's listening.
160
00:06:28,456 --> 00:06:29,757
I'm sorry.
161
00:06:29,823 --> 00:06:32,560
I'm-I'm very uncomfortable
talking about...
162
00:06:32,626 --> 00:06:34,562
you know...
(shudders)
163
00:06:34,628 --> 00:06:35,829
No offense, but you don't seem
164
00:06:35,896 --> 00:06:37,531
that comfortable
doing it, either.
165
00:06:37,598 --> 00:06:39,533
You're still talking about it.
166
00:06:39,600 --> 00:06:41,001
I-I-I mean,
because if you're not,
167
00:06:41,068 --> 00:06:43,303
I mean, there are...
there are things that we can do.
168
00:06:43,370 --> 00:06:44,772
There are things we can try.
169
00:06:44,838 --> 00:06:46,406
Like?
170
00:06:46,474 --> 00:06:49,943
I don't know,
like role-playing.
171
00:06:50,010 --> 00:06:52,245
Role-playing?
172
00:06:52,312 --> 00:06:53,681
Yeah. You know...
173
00:06:53,747 --> 00:06:56,717
"Hey, lady,
I'm here to clean the pool."
174
00:06:57,551 --> 00:06:59,352
But I don't have a pool.
175
00:06:59,419 --> 00:07:00,954
No, it's an imaginary pool.
176
00:07:01,021 --> 00:07:04,124
How is you
cleaning an imaginary pool
177
00:07:04,191 --> 00:07:05,358
supposed to be erotic?
178
00:07:05,425 --> 00:07:07,227
Okay, okay,
just forget the pool.
179
00:07:07,294 --> 00:07:08,729
I... all I'm saying is-is that,
180
00:07:08,796 --> 00:07:12,466
if there's anything I can do,
just let me know.
181
00:07:12,533 --> 00:07:14,334
Thank you for your concern,
182
00:07:14,401 --> 00:07:17,037
but I'm perfectly
satisfied with our...
183
00:07:17,104 --> 00:07:19,740
carnal interludes.
184
00:07:20,774 --> 00:07:22,009
Really?
185
00:07:22,075 --> 00:07:23,376
Carnal interludes?
186
00:07:23,443 --> 00:07:24,978
Well, what do you
want me to call it?
187
00:07:25,045 --> 00:07:26,714
It doesn't matter.
I mean, the distance
188
00:07:26,780 --> 00:07:28,582
between "carnal interludes"
and what I would call it
189
00:07:28,649 --> 00:07:30,951
isn't really susceptible
to compromise.
190
00:07:31,018 --> 00:07:32,886
All right, listen,
I have to run and take Ava
191
00:07:32,953 --> 00:07:34,588
to her father's,
so I'll see you tonight, yes?
192
00:07:34,655 --> 00:07:35,856
Great.
193
00:07:35,923 --> 00:07:38,191
Walden, believe me,
194
00:07:38,258 --> 00:07:41,194
I am fine and dandy
with our...
195
00:07:42,663 --> 00:07:44,798
Carnal interludes.
196
00:07:44,865 --> 00:07:47,535
See you.
197
00:07:47,601 --> 00:07:49,136
BERTA:
Everything okay
198
00:07:49,202 --> 00:07:50,070
with you and
Mary Poppins?
199
00:07:50,137 --> 00:07:51,304
Were you eavesdropping?
200
00:07:51,371 --> 00:07:52,472
If I don't eavesdrop,
201
00:07:52,540 --> 00:07:54,474
I've got nothing
to tweet about.
202
00:07:55,509 --> 00:07:57,110
The problem is she's English.
203
00:07:57,177 --> 00:08:00,147
Stiff upper lips and all that.
204
00:08:00,213 --> 00:08:03,050
You should date
a nice Polish girl.
205
00:08:03,116 --> 00:08:04,451
You don't say.
206
00:08:04,518 --> 00:08:05,619
Oh, yeah.
207
00:08:05,686 --> 00:08:08,488
Those Commies,
they're all freaks.
208
00:08:10,157 --> 00:08:11,358
Sex is the only thing
209
00:08:11,424 --> 00:08:13,761
they didn't have to stand
in line and wait for.
210
00:08:16,496 --> 00:08:17,698
Good to know.
211
00:08:17,765 --> 00:08:18,999
I think I'll stick with Zoey.
212
00:08:19,066 --> 00:08:21,034
I just wish I could
get her to relax.
213
00:08:21,101 --> 00:08:21,835
You know, let go.
214
00:08:21,902 --> 00:08:24,104
Me, I'm just the opposite.
215
00:08:24,171 --> 00:08:26,540
I can get off
leaning against the dryer
216
00:08:26,607 --> 00:08:29,743
with a couple of sneakers in it.
217
00:08:29,810 --> 00:08:31,979
Is that why my Nikes
are so clean?
218
00:08:32,045 --> 00:08:33,981
Win-win.
219
00:08:34,047 --> 00:08:38,185
Listen, if you want to loosen up
the Duchess of Dull-In-Sack,
220
00:08:38,251 --> 00:08:41,989
you might try slipping her
one of my special brownies.
221
00:08:43,023 --> 00:08:45,392
I got a fresh batch
in the fridge.
222
00:08:45,458 --> 00:08:48,261
You know, for my glaucoma.
223
00:08:51,832 --> 00:08:53,366
Thank you, but I'm...
224
00:08:53,433 --> 00:08:56,336
I don't want to have to get Zoey
loaded to enjoy sex with me.
225
00:08:56,403 --> 00:08:58,606
Suit yourself.
226
00:08:58,672 --> 00:09:00,040
Doesn't want to get her loaded.
227
00:09:00,107 --> 00:09:02,643
What's the matter
with kids today?
228
00:09:03,611 --> 00:09:05,378
* Men.
229
00:09:05,445 --> 00:09:08,882
(movie playing on TV)
230
00:09:08,949 --> 00:09:09,850
Aw.
231
00:09:09,917 --> 00:09:11,685
That was a lovely movie.
232
00:09:11,752 --> 00:09:14,221
Yeah, that Hugh Grant
is really something.
233
00:09:14,287 --> 00:09:16,289
(sighing)
234
00:09:23,530 --> 00:09:25,198
Something wrong?
235
00:09:25,265 --> 00:09:26,934
No. Why?
236
00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:28,769
Usually, at this point
in the evening,
237
00:09:28,836 --> 00:09:30,671
you start
getting frisky.
238
00:09:31,504 --> 00:09:32,906
Frisky?
239
00:09:33,941 --> 00:09:35,175
Randy.
240
00:09:35,242 --> 00:09:36,576
Randy?
241
00:09:36,644 --> 00:09:38,178
All right. "Horny."
242
00:09:38,245 --> 00:09:40,280
(laughs)
Made you say it.
243
00:09:42,215 --> 00:09:45,185
Is that an invitation
to get frisky?
244
00:09:45,252 --> 00:09:46,720
If you want.
245
00:09:46,787 --> 00:09:48,188
If you want.
246
00:09:48,255 --> 00:09:50,490
Well, I want
if you want.
247
00:09:50,557 --> 00:09:51,859
No, no, I want
you to want
248
00:09:51,925 --> 00:09:53,460
because you want,
not because I want.
249
00:09:53,526 --> 00:09:54,828
Okay, I've lost
the thread.
250
00:09:54,895 --> 00:09:56,797
Now, are we gonna
do this or not?
251
00:09:56,864 --> 00:09:58,799
Only if you want.
252
00:09:58,866 --> 00:10:00,533
Oh, Walden, why are you
making this so difficult?
253
00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:04,004
Because I... it's not fun for
me unless you're having fun.
254
00:10:04,071 --> 00:10:05,172
All right.
255
00:10:05,238 --> 00:10:07,240
Let's have some fun.
256
00:10:08,475 --> 00:10:09,743
Oh, look.
257
00:10:09,810 --> 00:10:11,812
It's the pool cleaning man.
258
00:10:14,547 --> 00:10:18,085
Come to clean my pool,
have you?
259
00:10:18,151 --> 00:10:20,287
Okay, that's...
that's enough.
260
00:10:20,353 --> 00:10:24,324
My, what a big chlorine bottle
you've got.
261
00:10:24,391 --> 00:10:25,492
O-Okay, please stop.
262
00:10:25,558 --> 00:10:26,660
Let's just stop.
263
00:10:26,727 --> 00:10:28,128
You sure?
264
00:10:28,195 --> 00:10:29,329
Yes.
265
00:10:29,396 --> 00:10:30,731
Oh, okay.
266
00:10:30,798 --> 00:10:33,166
We'll go
to sleep, then.
267
00:10:39,907 --> 00:10:42,175
Do you like brownies?
268
00:10:42,242 --> 00:10:43,476
What?
269
00:10:43,543 --> 00:10:45,212
Is this another game?
270
00:10:45,278 --> 00:10:47,080
The sexy pastry chef.
271
00:10:47,147 --> 00:10:48,548
No. No.
272
00:10:48,615 --> 00:10:50,718
Come to butter
my baking pan, have you?
273
00:10:50,784 --> 00:10:52,085
(chuckling):
No. No.
274
00:10:52,152 --> 00:10:54,487
No. Uh... no.
275
00:10:54,554 --> 00:10:55,655
No.
Okay.
276
00:10:55,723 --> 00:10:56,924
It's just that...
277
00:10:56,990 --> 00:11:00,593
Berta made these...
pot brownies,
278
00:11:00,660 --> 00:11:03,797
and I just thought maybe,
279
00:11:03,864 --> 00:11:07,500
if we had one, that we
could relax a little bit.
280
00:11:07,567 --> 00:11:11,271
Oh... Tried that once
at university.
281
00:11:11,338 --> 00:11:13,206
Had a bit of a giggle.
282
00:11:13,273 --> 00:11:15,308
Is that a yes?
283
00:11:15,375 --> 00:11:18,879
I don't see any harm in it.
284
00:11:18,946 --> 00:11:20,680
What was that?
285
00:11:20,748 --> 00:11:22,349
Do you hear police sirens?
286
00:11:22,415 --> 00:11:24,251
I hear police sirens.
287
00:11:24,317 --> 00:11:26,820
(imitating European siren)
288
00:11:26,887 --> 00:11:28,789
Dear God, they're from France!
289
00:11:28,856 --> 00:11:29,790
(whimpers)
290
00:11:29,857 --> 00:11:32,059
(panting)
291
00:11:32,125 --> 00:11:34,694
Bummer.
292
00:11:34,762 --> 00:11:37,164
(Zoey imitating
European siren)
293
00:11:38,498 --> 00:11:40,367
Oh, no, they're
getting closer!
294
00:11:40,433 --> 00:11:43,771
(imitating
European siren)
295
00:11:43,837 --> 00:11:47,174
Looks like someone else
found the brownies.
296
00:11:47,240 --> 00:11:49,442
Oh, good, you saw her, too.
297
00:11:58,218 --> 00:11:59,887
WALDEN:
Zoey!
298
00:11:59,953 --> 00:12:03,390
Zoey!
299
00:12:03,456 --> 00:12:06,159
Okay, she's definitely
not on the beach.
300
00:12:06,226 --> 00:12:09,229
Don't worry, man,
I'm sure she's somewhere.
301
00:12:09,296 --> 00:12:11,064
That's true.
302
00:12:11,131 --> 00:12:13,566
Everybody's somewhere.
303
00:12:13,633 --> 00:12:17,337
Whoa, that is seriously deep.
304
00:12:17,404 --> 00:12:19,106
Slice?
305
00:12:19,172 --> 00:12:21,308
Ah, thank you.
306
00:12:21,374 --> 00:12:23,376
Okay.
307
00:12:23,443 --> 00:12:26,413
We got to find Zoey before
something horrible happens.
308
00:12:26,479 --> 00:12:28,681
This is very good.
309
00:12:30,150 --> 00:12:32,519
Anyway, we should split up.
310
00:12:32,585 --> 00:12:34,988
A hundred bucks
to the man who finds her.
311
00:12:35,055 --> 00:12:36,389
Hundred bucks?
312
00:12:36,456 --> 00:12:38,058
We're in.
313
00:12:38,125 --> 00:12:40,460
Cool.
314
00:12:40,527 --> 00:12:43,596
Maybe she's on the beach.
315
00:12:45,398 --> 00:12:48,902
WALDEN:
Zoey! Zoey!
316
00:12:48,969 --> 00:12:49,903
Okay.
317
00:12:49,970 --> 00:12:52,572
We have to find Zoey
before he does.
318
00:12:54,041 --> 00:12:57,777
Where would you go if you were
stoned and freaking out?
319
00:12:57,845 --> 00:13:01,081
Taco Bell.
320
00:13:01,148 --> 00:13:03,216
Excellent.
321
00:13:03,283 --> 00:13:05,518
Let's go.
322
00:13:05,585 --> 00:13:07,787
I'm right behind you.
323
00:13:11,158 --> 00:13:14,627
WALDEN:
Zoey! Zoey!
324
00:13:21,334 --> 00:13:22,269
Mmm...
325
00:13:22,335 --> 00:13:23,270
Hello.
326
00:13:23,336 --> 00:13:24,905
Mm, hello, Alan.
327
00:13:24,972 --> 00:13:26,273
What's going on?
328
00:13:26,339 --> 00:13:28,008
Just a little snack.
329
00:13:28,075 --> 00:13:30,177
I see.
330
00:13:30,243 --> 00:13:31,544
Uh, where's Walden?
331
00:13:31,611 --> 00:13:32,545
Beats me.
332
00:13:32,612 --> 00:13:35,682
Hey, you know what's very weird?
333
00:13:35,748 --> 00:13:40,320
You Americans call these chips,
we call them crisps.
334
00:13:40,387 --> 00:13:43,290
And what we call chips,
you call...
335
00:13:43,356 --> 00:13:44,524
French fries.
336
00:13:44,591 --> 00:13:47,494
Oh, don't get me
started on the French.
337
00:13:47,560 --> 00:13:48,761
Yeah.
338
00:13:48,828 --> 00:13:51,564
Um, did you have
one of Berta's brownies?
339
00:13:51,631 --> 00:13:53,666
Indeed I did.
340
00:13:53,733 --> 00:13:55,368
I did indeed.
341
00:13:55,435 --> 00:13:57,137
Indeed I did a doody-deedy.
342
00:13:58,171 --> 00:13:59,572
Hey,
343
00:13:59,639 --> 00:14:00,840
where's Walden?
344
00:14:00,908 --> 00:14:02,242
We're supposed to be
having good sex.
345
00:14:02,309 --> 00:14:03,476
Oh, is that so?
346
00:14:03,543 --> 00:14:05,045
Mm.
347
00:14:05,112 --> 00:14:07,981
He thinks I don't enjoy it,
but it's just hard for me
348
00:14:08,048 --> 00:14:11,218
to give myself to a man
unless I trust him completely.
349
00:14:11,284 --> 00:14:12,519
I certainly understand that.
350
00:14:12,585 --> 00:14:15,422
But once I do,
I have orgasm after orgasm,
351
00:14:15,488 --> 00:14:17,357
especially if you
spank my bottom
352
00:14:17,424 --> 00:14:19,626
while I ride you like a Vespa.
353
00:14:23,964 --> 00:14:27,167
Okay. I'll-I'll try
to pass that along.
354
00:14:27,234 --> 00:14:28,301
Um...
355
00:14:28,368 --> 00:14:30,403
Okay, I'm going
to bed now.
356
00:14:30,470 --> 00:14:32,405
Night.
Hmm. Mm.
357
00:14:32,472 --> 00:14:34,374
By the way,
I know I haven't always
358
00:14:34,441 --> 00:14:35,642
been very warm to you.
359
00:14:35,708 --> 00:14:36,643
Well, that's true.
360
00:14:36,709 --> 00:14:38,045
(chuckles)
361
00:14:38,111 --> 00:14:40,480
It's only 'cause I don't
care for you very much.
362
00:14:40,547 --> 00:14:43,016
Understood.
363
00:14:43,083 --> 00:14:44,017
Nighty-night.
364
00:14:44,084 --> 00:14:45,818
Good night.
365
00:14:47,420 --> 00:14:50,057
Nice change of pace
hearing it with an accent.
366
00:14:50,123 --> 00:14:52,525
(imitating Zoey): "I just don't
care for you very much."
367
00:14:52,592 --> 00:14:55,528
It's classy.
368
00:14:55,595 --> 00:14:56,563
Oh, hey.
369
00:14:56,629 --> 00:14:57,730
Oh, hey,
there you are.
370
00:14:57,797 --> 00:14:59,266
Zoey's looking
for you.
371
00:14:59,332 --> 00:15:00,300
She's here?
372
00:15:00,367 --> 00:15:01,534
Yeah, she
went to bed.
373
00:15:01,601 --> 00:15:04,671
Oh. Thank God.
374
00:15:04,737 --> 00:15:06,573
I better go check on her.
375
00:15:09,376 --> 00:15:11,678
But first, ice cream.
376
00:15:11,744 --> 00:15:13,046
(door closes)
377
00:15:13,113 --> 00:15:16,016
JAKE:
Good news! We found Zoey!
378
00:15:16,083 --> 00:15:19,987
* Ta-da!
379
00:15:20,053 --> 00:15:24,091
Which one of you is
the billionaire looking for me?
380
00:15:32,565 --> 00:15:34,567
I'm so sorry
about last night.
381
00:15:34,634 --> 00:15:36,003
Don't be silly.
382
00:15:36,069 --> 00:15:38,271
I'm just glad you didn't
end up in a French prison.
383
00:15:38,338 --> 00:15:39,306
(chuckles)
384
00:15:39,372 --> 00:15:40,473
(imitating
European siren)
385
00:15:40,540 --> 00:15:42,642
(laughs)
386
00:15:42,709 --> 00:15:44,277
I hope you don't think
I'm a lost cause.
387
00:15:44,344 --> 00:15:45,712
No, no.
388
00:15:45,778 --> 00:15:48,715
I do like... you know.
389
00:15:48,781 --> 00:15:50,950
Glad to hear.
390
00:15:51,018 --> 00:15:54,254
Don't worry, I will not stop
until I hear Paul Revere.
391
00:15:54,321 --> 00:15:55,888
I beg your pardon?
392
00:15:55,955 --> 00:15:56,923
You know, the
British are coming!
393
00:15:56,990 --> 00:15:58,158
The British are coming!
394
00:15:58,225 --> 00:16:00,693
(laughs)
395
00:16:01,528 --> 00:16:02,929
Hello.
396
00:16:02,996 --> 00:16:05,232
Nigel, what are
you doing here?
397
00:16:05,298 --> 00:16:06,799
I had to bring Ava back early.
398
00:16:06,866 --> 00:16:08,568
Hello. Nigel Pierce.
399
00:16:08,635 --> 00:16:09,802
Walden Schmidt.
400
00:16:09,869 --> 00:16:11,271
Nigel is my ex-husband.
401
00:16:11,338 --> 00:16:13,340
A role I relish.
402
00:16:15,142 --> 00:16:16,643
I need to catch
a plane to London,
403
00:16:16,709 --> 00:16:18,278
so you'll have to have Ava
for the weekend.
404
00:16:18,345 --> 00:16:19,746
And what if I have plans?
405
00:16:19,812 --> 00:16:22,382
Yes, I can see your plans.
406
00:16:22,449 --> 00:16:26,653
Mummy, Daddy said he
can't take me to the zoo.
407
00:16:26,719 --> 00:16:29,689
Oh, wonderful,
just wonderful.
408
00:16:29,756 --> 00:16:31,724
Are you and Daddy
going to fight?
409
00:16:31,791 --> 00:16:34,927
No. Mummy will take you
to the zoo instead of Daddy.
410
00:16:34,994 --> 00:16:37,130
Brilliant, make me the bad guy.
411
00:16:37,197 --> 00:16:40,333
Oh, no one made you the bad guy,
you were born to it.
412
00:16:41,701 --> 00:16:43,203
Uh, you know what, Ava?
413
00:16:43,270 --> 00:16:44,671
I'm a little thirsty.
414
00:16:44,737 --> 00:16:47,207
Maybe you could show me where
I could get a glass of water.
415
00:16:47,274 --> 00:16:48,741
Is it all right, Mummy?
416
00:16:48,808 --> 00:16:50,510
Yeah. Good idea.
417
00:16:50,577 --> 00:16:52,312
Come on, then.
418
00:16:53,880 --> 00:16:57,184
They're gonna
fight now.
419
00:16:57,250 --> 00:16:58,718
Yeah, I know.
420
00:16:58,785 --> 00:17:01,721
So this is what you
prefer now, hmm?
421
00:17:01,788 --> 00:17:03,456
Underwear models?
422
00:17:03,523 --> 00:17:07,260
He happens to be a billionaire.
423
00:17:07,327 --> 00:17:13,400
Yes, well, I happen to be
107th in line to the throne.
424
00:17:14,667 --> 00:17:17,036
Here's your water.
425
00:17:17,104 --> 00:17:17,737
Thank you.
426
00:17:17,804 --> 00:17:20,940
You're very welcome.
427
00:17:21,774 --> 00:17:24,611
Oh, whoa!
428
00:17:24,677 --> 00:17:28,014
This is the best water
I have ever had.
429
00:17:29,048 --> 00:17:30,317
Did you make this yourself?
430
00:17:30,383 --> 00:17:33,453
No, silly, it came
out of the fridge.
431
00:17:33,520 --> 00:17:35,422
Oh.
432
00:17:35,488 --> 00:17:37,290
Well, then cheers.
433
00:17:37,357 --> 00:17:39,359
Mmm.
434
00:17:42,695 --> 00:17:45,532
I'm a queen.
435
00:17:45,598 --> 00:17:46,599
You are?
436
00:17:46,666 --> 00:17:48,568
Queen Ava.
437
00:17:48,635 --> 00:17:50,503
Well, then what am I?
438
00:17:50,570 --> 00:17:53,206
I have no idea.
439
00:17:56,209 --> 00:17:58,545
(British accent):
Walden Schmidt, Your Majesty.
440
00:17:58,611 --> 00:18:01,148
Pleased to meet you.
441
00:18:01,214 --> 00:18:03,716
I shall call you Sir Schmidt.
442
00:18:03,783 --> 00:18:05,385
Oh! At your service.
443
00:18:05,452 --> 00:18:06,719
Oh!
444
00:18:06,786 --> 00:18:07,887
(laughing)
445
00:18:07,954 --> 00:18:10,790
(laughing):
Oh! Oh!
446
00:18:10,857 --> 00:18:13,826
Well, you two seem
to be getting along.
447
00:18:13,893 --> 00:18:16,863
Can Sir Schmidt come
with us to the zoo?
448
00:18:16,929 --> 00:18:18,331
Sir Schmidt?
449
00:18:18,398 --> 00:18:19,832
Hmm. I don't know.
450
00:18:19,899 --> 00:18:21,134
Please?
451
00:18:21,201 --> 00:18:23,236
He's my loyal subject.
452
00:18:23,303 --> 00:18:26,005
Well, I suppose, if he wants.
453
00:18:26,072 --> 00:18:29,376
(cockney accent): I live to do
the queen's bidding.
454
00:18:29,442 --> 00:18:30,910
(chuckles)
455
00:18:30,977 --> 00:18:32,812
All right,
go and get your jacket.
456
00:18:32,879 --> 00:18:35,515
Yay!
457
00:18:35,582 --> 00:18:37,484
Sir Schmidt?
458
00:18:37,550 --> 00:18:40,853
My grandfather shortened it
from Schmidt-a-Lot.
459
00:18:45,692 --> 00:18:47,327
(sighs):
Oh, goodness.
460
00:18:47,394 --> 00:18:48,661
That was quite a day.
461
00:18:48,728 --> 00:18:50,597
Yeah. It was fun, wasn't it?
462
00:18:50,663 --> 00:18:51,931
It was.
463
00:18:51,998 --> 00:18:53,400
Is she still sleeping?
464
00:18:53,466 --> 00:18:55,034
She's comatose.
465
00:18:55,101 --> 00:18:56,769
Here, let me
take her.
466
00:18:56,836 --> 00:18:58,471
(groans with effort)
Shh.
467
00:18:58,538 --> 00:19:00,973
Oh, dear, you have a bit
of drool on your shoulder.
468
00:19:01,040 --> 00:19:02,475
Oh, that's not a problem.
469
00:19:02,542 --> 00:19:05,845
My housekeeper has a lot of
experience with drool stains.
470
00:19:05,912 --> 00:19:07,780
Ah. I'm gonna go
and put her down.
471
00:19:07,847 --> 00:19:09,048
Be right back.
472
00:19:09,882 --> 00:19:12,084
(ringtone playing)
473
00:19:17,824 --> 00:19:20,427
Hey, Jake.
474
00:19:20,493 --> 00:19:22,695
Really? You found Zoey.
475
00:19:26,499 --> 00:19:28,768
That's great.
476
00:19:28,835 --> 00:19:31,037
Thank you.
477
00:19:32,839 --> 00:19:35,875
Little dude's got to lay off
the brownies.
478
00:19:35,942 --> 00:19:38,478
She's absolutely
knackered.
479
00:19:38,545 --> 00:19:40,046
It was a long day.
480
00:19:40,112 --> 00:19:42,181
You were just
wonderful with her.
481
00:19:42,249 --> 00:19:45,452
Thanks.
482
00:19:45,518 --> 00:19:48,054
Well, I guess
I better head home.
483
00:19:48,120 --> 00:19:50,390
I think not.
484
00:19:50,457 --> 00:19:51,724
What's happening?
485
00:19:51,791 --> 00:19:53,025
It's very,
very simple.
486
00:19:53,092 --> 00:19:54,727
I'm going to take
you into my bedroom
487
00:19:54,794 --> 00:19:56,996
and bang you like
a snare drum.
488
00:19:58,164 --> 00:19:59,332
WALDEN:
Yippee!
489
00:19:59,399 --> 00:20:02,068
* Men.
490
00:20:06,939 --> 00:20:08,341
Oh, hey.
Where you been?
491
00:20:08,408 --> 00:20:10,610
I went to the zoo with Zoey
and her little girl.
492
00:20:10,677 --> 00:20:12,479
Wow! So you finally
met the daughter.
493
00:20:12,545 --> 00:20:14,213
Yep.
Might make it tough
494
00:20:14,281 --> 00:20:15,615
if the relationship
doesn't work out.
495
00:20:15,682 --> 00:20:16,716
Why wouldn't it work out?
496
00:20:16,783 --> 00:20:18,150
Well, you know, the lack of
497
00:20:18,217 --> 00:20:19,752
sexual chemistry
you were talking about.
498
00:20:19,819 --> 00:20:22,088
Oh, no, we're way past that.
499
00:20:22,154 --> 00:20:25,091
Oh. So she opened up
about her trust issues?
500
00:20:25,157 --> 00:20:26,158
Trust issues?
501
00:20:26,225 --> 00:20:28,328
No, zoos make her horny.
502
00:20:30,363 --> 00:20:31,831
Really? You think that's it?
503
00:20:31,898 --> 00:20:33,232
Yep.
504
00:20:33,300 --> 00:20:36,035
Next weekend, we're going to
the San Diego Wild Animal Park.
505
00:20:40,006 --> 00:20:41,441
Uh...
506
00:20:41,508 --> 00:20:42,775
hello.
507
00:20:42,842 --> 00:20:44,311
(with accent):
You Walden?
508
00:20:44,377 --> 00:20:46,112
Yeah.
509
00:20:46,178 --> 00:20:48,214
I Zoey.
510
00:20:53,152 --> 00:20:54,854
Ah.
511
00:20:54,921 --> 00:20:57,123
It's nice
to meet you.
512
00:20:58,658 --> 00:21:00,226
Well?
513
00:21:00,293 --> 00:21:01,694
Keep looking.
514
00:21:01,761 --> 00:21:03,630
Captioning sponsored by
CBS and WARNER BROS. TELEVISION
515
00:21:03,696 --> 00:21:05,432
and TOYOTA.
516
00:21:05,498 --> 00:21:08,335
Captioned by
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