Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:09,844 --> 00:00:16,350
♪
2
00:00:18,435 --> 00:00:20,019
And that totally proves...
3
00:00:20,061 --> 00:00:21,941
that neither me nor
Sam can play the guitar.
4
00:00:23,691 --> 00:00:25,484
Okay, now it's time for
a brand-new segment
5
00:00:25,526 --> 00:00:27,778
here on iCarly.
Which we call...
6
00:00:27,820 --> 00:00:31,824
The Blab Cam!
Actually, it's really called
7
00:00:31,866 --> 00:00:33,367
two-way high-speed
video confer...
8
00:00:33,408 --> 00:00:35,703
Well, we're calling it The
Blab Cam, so get used to it.
9
00:00:37,078 --> 00:00:38,497
Freddie, let's talk to someone.
10
00:00:38,539 --> 00:00:41,040
Okay, we got a bunch
of people waiting here.
11
00:00:41,082 --> 00:00:42,918
Uh... ooh!
12
00:00:42,960 --> 00:00:44,545
Here's a guy all
the way from Poland.
13
00:00:48,298 --> 00:00:49,758
What's up?
Hey, Poland.
14
00:01:03,814 --> 00:01:05,774
Uh...
15
00:01:05,816 --> 00:01:08,610
So take that, Poland.
16
00:01:11,070 --> 00:01:12,696
Now let's try some
viewers from this country.
17
00:01:12,698 --> 00:01:15,034
Okay, uh...
18
00:01:15,075 --> 00:01:17,411
here's a girl named
Valerie from Seattle.
19
00:01:17,452 --> 00:01:18,913
Hi, there.
What's up, girl?
20
00:01:18,954 --> 00:01:20,414
Hey, you guys.
My name's Valerie...
21
00:01:20,455 --> 00:01:22,290
Long-time viewer,
first time Blab Camer.
22
00:01:22,332 --> 00:01:23,751
I just love iCarly.
23
00:01:23,792 --> 00:01:25,168
Awesome!
Thanks a lot.
24
00:01:25,210 --> 00:01:27,922
Um, you look kind of familiar.
Have we seen you before?
25
00:01:27,963 --> 00:01:30,007
Yeah, I go to
school with you guys.
26
00:01:30,049 --> 00:01:32,009
I'm just one grade ahead of you.
27
00:01:32,051 --> 00:01:34,386
Hey, is Freddie there?
Can I see him?
28
00:01:34,428 --> 00:01:36,028
Why would a person
want to see Freddie?
29
00:01:40,308 --> 00:01:41,810
Right here, Valerie.
30
00:01:41,852 --> 00:01:44,438
Alright, can I just say I
think you're insanely cute?
31
00:01:44,479 --> 00:01:46,189
Yeah?
32
00:01:46,231 --> 00:01:48,791
Uh Valerie, you might want to
check your webcam and your brain,
33
00:01:48,817 --> 00:01:50,819
'cause I'm pretty sure one
of 'em's malfunctioning.
34
00:01:52,153 --> 00:01:55,323
Sam! Hey, Valerie, since
you think Freddie's cute,
35
00:01:55,365 --> 00:01:56,784
why don't you go
on a date with him?
36
00:01:56,825 --> 00:01:58,535
Yeah, it's a new
feature on iCarly,
37
00:01:58,577 --> 00:01:59,870
which we call Date the Dork.
38
00:02:01,455 --> 00:02:02,831
What do you say, Val?
39
00:02:02,873 --> 00:02:05,000
Well, I don't think
Freddie's a dork,
40
00:02:05,042 --> 00:02:06,877
and I'd love to go
on a date with him.
41
00:02:06,919 --> 00:02:09,004
You won't be jealous?
I'll try to be strong.
42
00:02:09,046 --> 00:02:10,631
Yes!
43
00:02:10,672 --> 00:02:12,841
Okay, Valerie.
Just email Freddie the address
44
00:02:12,883 --> 00:02:14,591
of the mental institution
you're locked up in
45
00:02:14,593 --> 00:02:15,803
and he'll meet you there.
46
00:02:17,638 --> 00:02:21,016
In five, four, three, two...
47
00:02:22,183 --> 00:02:23,477
♪
48
00:02:23,518 --> 00:02:26,187
♪ I know you see ♪
49
00:02:26,229 --> 00:02:28,273
♪ Somehow the world
will change for me ♪
50
00:02:28,315 --> 00:02:31,151
♪ And be so wonderful ♪
51
00:02:31,192 --> 00:02:32,736
♪
52
00:02:32,778 --> 00:02:34,947
♪ Live life, breathe air ♪
53
00:02:34,989 --> 00:02:37,449
♪ I know somehow
we're gonna get there ♪
54
00:02:37,491 --> 00:02:40,452
♪ And feel so wonderful ♪
55
00:02:40,494 --> 00:02:42,203
♪
56
00:02:42,245 --> 00:02:45,833
♪ It's all for real ♪
57
00:02:45,874 --> 00:02:48,418
♪ I'm telling you
just how I feel ♪
58
00:02:48,460 --> 00:02:52,297
♪ So wake up, the
members of my nation ♪
59
00:02:52,339 --> 00:02:54,049
♪ It's your time to be ♪
60
00:02:54,091 --> 00:02:56,844
♪ There's no chance
unless you take one ♪
61
00:02:56,885 --> 00:02:59,262
♪ Have the time to see
the brighter side ♪
62
00:02:59,304 --> 00:03:02,850
♪ Of every situation ♪
63
00:03:02,891 --> 00:03:04,309
♪ Some things are meant to be ♪
64
00:03:04,351 --> 00:03:08,229
♪ So give me your best
and leave the rest to me ♪
65
00:03:08,271 --> 00:03:10,482
♪ Leave it all to me ♪
66
00:03:10,524 --> 00:03:12,734
♪ Leave it all to me ♪
67
00:03:12,776 --> 00:03:15,487
♪ Just leave it all to me ♪
68
00:03:22,036 --> 00:03:26,331
♪
69
00:03:26,373 --> 00:03:29,084
So, you're gonna kiss her?
70
00:03:29,126 --> 00:03:31,086
I'm not even sure I
should take her out.
71
00:03:31,128 --> 00:03:32,796
You should take the
girl out, kiss her,
72
00:03:32,838 --> 00:03:34,422
then step back before she pukes.
73
00:03:36,008 --> 00:03:37,592
I got it.
74
00:03:39,803 --> 00:03:42,056
Freddie!
Uh, come in?
75
00:03:44,349 --> 00:03:46,852
Mom, what are you doing...
I'm so proud of you.
76
00:03:46,894 --> 00:03:48,687
I can't believe it's
finally happening.
77
00:03:48,729 --> 00:03:50,814
Your first date.
Mom!
78
00:03:50,856 --> 00:03:52,482
And with a girl!
Mom!
79
00:03:53,775 --> 00:03:56,611
We're all in shock.
How did you know?
80
00:03:56,653 --> 00:03:58,697
I was watching iCarly online.
81
00:03:58,739 --> 00:04:00,615
I didn't know you
watched our show.
82
00:04:00,657 --> 00:04:03,869
I always watch because I've
been worried about your posture.
83
00:04:03,911 --> 00:04:06,163
It seems somebody
forgot our little rule.
84
00:04:06,205 --> 00:04:09,041
What rule?
Just skip it, alright?
85
00:04:09,083 --> 00:04:11,626
Freddie, tell her the rule
about standing up straight.
86
00:04:14,295 --> 00:04:16,135
You won't get respect
if your back's not erect.
87
00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:21,970
Oh, and I already have
the perfect outfit
88
00:04:22,012 --> 00:04:23,847
for you to wear on the date.
89
00:04:23,889 --> 00:04:25,974
I'm not even sure if
I'm going on this date.
90
00:04:26,016 --> 00:04:28,060
Yes, you are.
You're going.
91
00:04:28,102 --> 00:04:30,810
But what if she's not a... There
is a living, breathing girl out there
92
00:04:30,812 --> 00:04:35,192
who wants to go out with you.
This may never happen again.
93
00:04:35,234 --> 00:04:36,359
Unless...
94
00:04:36,401 --> 00:04:38,028
Carly changes her mind.
95
00:04:38,070 --> 00:04:39,821
Uh, yeah, Freddie
and I are just friends.
96
00:04:39,863 --> 00:04:41,782
I totally understand.
Thank you.
97
00:04:41,823 --> 00:04:43,658
Why won't you love my son?!
98
00:04:43,700 --> 00:04:46,120
Mom!
I'm sorry.
99
00:04:46,161 --> 00:04:49,248
Anyway, I already have the
whole date planned out.
100
00:04:50,916 --> 00:04:53,293
First, I'm gonna cook
a lovely fat-free dinner,
101
00:04:53,334 --> 00:04:55,670
and then we're gonna look
at your baby pictures.
102
00:04:55,712 --> 00:04:57,256
Freddie had the
cutest little bottom.
103
00:05:00,467 --> 00:05:02,947
Okay, I'll give you $1,000 for
one picture of Freddie's butt.
104
00:05:05,264 --> 00:05:09,643
Uh, Mrs. Benson?
105
00:05:09,684 --> 00:05:12,646
We already told Freddie he
could have his date here.
106
00:05:12,687 --> 00:05:14,689
Why here?
Uh...
107
00:05:14,731 --> 00:05:17,109
'cause my brother's
an amazing cook?
108
00:05:17,151 --> 00:05:20,654
Yeah, and he promised
to make us his special...
109
00:05:20,695 --> 00:05:22,156
Spaghetti tacos.
110
00:05:24,365 --> 00:05:27,119
What? Noodles can't live happily
in a hard corn shell?
111
00:05:27,161 --> 00:05:33,000
♪
112
00:05:33,041 --> 00:05:34,751
♪ I'm cooking,
I'm cooking things ♪
113
00:05:34,793 --> 00:05:36,193
♪ Cooking things
for people to eat ♪
114
00:05:36,211 --> 00:05:37,754
♪ I'm cooking,
I'm cooking things ♪
115
00:05:37,796 --> 00:05:39,881
♪ Things that
people will chew ♪
116
00:05:41,967 --> 00:05:43,718
Mom, will you stop it?
117
00:05:43,760 --> 00:05:45,512
But I'm not done
fluffing your hair!
118
00:05:45,553 --> 00:05:46,638
Yes, you are!
119
00:05:48,473 --> 00:05:51,685
How many times have I told you
not to yank electrical cords?
120
00:05:51,726 --> 00:05:53,270
Mom, I don't need you to...
121
00:05:53,312 --> 00:05:55,563
I'm gonna go plug this back
in, and when I come back,
122
00:05:55,605 --> 00:05:56,898
that hair will be fluffed.
123
00:05:58,566 --> 00:05:59,776
Hurry!
124
00:06:02,779 --> 00:06:05,282
There, alright!
125
00:06:05,324 --> 00:06:08,660
Now, when Valerie gets here,
I need you...
126
00:06:13,248 --> 00:06:14,791
Bye, Mom!
127
00:06:17,961 --> 00:06:20,755
Okay, what up with that outfit?
128
00:06:20,797 --> 00:06:26,178
Ugh, my mom made me go
shopping at the Wild Wild Vest.
129
00:06:26,220 --> 00:06:28,847
You got my backup clothes?
Upstairs. Help me.
130
00:06:32,267 --> 00:06:33,768
Hey, Spence?
131
00:06:33,810 --> 00:06:36,395
Can I talk to you
seriously for a sec?
132
00:06:36,437 --> 00:06:38,815
Need a little first date advice?
133
00:06:38,857 --> 00:06:40,441
Couldn't hurt.
I'm a little nervous.
134
00:06:40,483 --> 00:06:43,820
Just be yourself.
Talk about stuff you like.
135
00:06:43,862 --> 00:06:45,572
And if I run out
of things to say?
136
00:06:45,613 --> 00:06:48,533
Then just stare into
her eyes and say nothing.
137
00:06:48,575 --> 00:06:50,660
That'll make you seem
all cool and mysterious.
138
00:06:50,702 --> 00:06:52,037
She'll be, like, hypnotized.
139
00:06:53,621 --> 00:06:55,580
Yeah, I don't really think
that works, 'cause, I mean,
140
00:06:55,582 --> 00:06:57,422
if I don't say anything,
won't she think I'm...
141
00:06:59,586 --> 00:07:00,962
Won't she think I'm...
142
00:07:02,589 --> 00:07:04,258
Won't she just...
143
00:07:07,677 --> 00:07:09,221
What doesn't really work?
144
00:07:11,765 --> 00:07:13,016
Alright, we got the clothes.
145
00:07:13,058 --> 00:07:14,517
Good, I'll go
change in the, uh...
146
00:07:17,478 --> 00:07:19,856
It's Valerie!
Uh, Sam, stall her!
147
00:07:19,898 --> 00:07:21,338
Freddie, take off
the stupid clothes.
148
00:07:23,651 --> 00:07:24,734
Hey, Valerie, how goes it?
149
00:07:24,736 --> 00:07:25,904
I'm great.
Is Freddie here?
150
00:07:25,946 --> 00:07:27,322
'Cause I've been thinking...
151
00:07:28,531 --> 00:07:30,117
I said to stall her.
She is.
152
00:07:30,158 --> 00:07:32,535
I slammed the door
right in her face.
153
00:07:32,577 --> 00:07:35,538
Alright, okay.
I'm fine.
154
00:07:35,580 --> 00:07:37,124
I am good.
My jacket...
155
00:07:37,165 --> 00:07:39,542
There you go.
Alright. I'm okay.
156
00:07:39,584 --> 00:07:40,501
Alright, how do I look?
157
00:07:40,543 --> 00:07:41,711
Well...
Sam.
158
00:07:42,963 --> 00:07:46,174
You look great.
Just, uh, here.
159
00:07:47,592 --> 00:07:48,760
Okay, there.
160
00:07:51,805 --> 00:07:53,432
Alright, fine!
My hair's fine!
161
00:07:55,725 --> 00:07:57,476
Fine, thank you!
162
00:07:57,518 --> 00:07:59,187
Come on, let's go upstairs.
But why?
163
00:07:59,229 --> 00:08:01,106
But I just really
wanna... oh, okay!
164
00:08:05,610 --> 00:08:07,279
Hi.
165
00:08:07,321 --> 00:08:09,401
You're not gonna slam the
door in my face, are you?
166
00:08:09,406 --> 00:08:10,615
Of course not.
167
00:08:10,657 --> 00:08:12,075
Come on in.
Thanks.
168
00:08:15,120 --> 00:08:17,580
So this is really where
you guys do iCarly from?
169
00:08:17,622 --> 00:08:20,167
This is the place.
I live across the hall there.
170
00:08:20,208 --> 00:08:22,502
Mr. Freddie, Miss Valerie,
171
00:08:22,543 --> 00:08:24,545
I will be your
server this evening.
172
00:08:24,587 --> 00:08:27,757
May I take your fuchsia jacket?
Sure.
173
00:08:36,099 --> 00:08:37,600
And how about some music?
174
00:08:37,642 --> 00:08:38,852
Great.
Awesome.
175
00:08:42,481 --> 00:08:48,778
♪
176
00:09:01,166 --> 00:09:02,876
Perhaps another selection...
177
00:09:02,917 --> 00:09:04,169
at a lower volume.
178
00:09:09,174 --> 00:09:17,174
♪
179
00:09:21,353 --> 00:09:24,064
Now let's see if I
can figure this out.
180
00:09:24,105 --> 00:09:26,274
What are you trying to...
181
00:09:26,316 --> 00:09:27,775
And this should give us picture.
182
00:09:30,362 --> 00:09:32,447
How do you...
I set up one of Freddie's
183
00:09:32,489 --> 00:09:34,199
little webcams
and aimed it at the table.
184
00:09:34,241 --> 00:09:35,742
But that's spying.
185
00:09:35,783 --> 00:09:37,863
We can't spy on Freddie
while he's on his first date.
186
00:09:39,037 --> 00:09:40,705
This is a really
good spaghetti taco.
187
00:09:40,747 --> 00:09:41,998
We're bad people.
188
00:09:43,833 --> 00:09:45,502
So the rabbi says to the nurse,
189
00:09:45,544 --> 00:09:47,712
"Why even have a three-chip,
hi-def camcorder
190
00:09:47,754 --> 00:09:49,506
if you can't calibrate
the white balance?"
191
00:09:53,718 --> 00:09:56,346
You know, I have never
met anyone who's so funny
192
00:09:56,388 --> 00:09:58,848
and who knows so much
about audio and video.
193
00:09:58,890 --> 00:10:01,726
Hey, nobody knows audio
and video like Freddie-o.
194
00:10:04,645 --> 00:10:06,647
Would you care to
see a dessert menu?
195
00:10:06,689 --> 00:10:07,815
Sure.
Sounds good.
196
00:10:11,152 --> 00:10:13,488
I guess we'll have the pudding.
197
00:10:13,530 --> 00:10:15,323
I'm sorry, we're
out of the pudding.
198
00:10:15,365 --> 00:10:21,371
♪
199
00:10:21,413 --> 00:10:24,249
So, who helps you with all
the technical stuff on iCarly?
200
00:10:24,291 --> 00:10:26,418
Nobody, just me.
Amazing.
201
00:10:26,460 --> 00:10:29,296
It looks so cool online.
202
00:10:29,337 --> 00:10:31,047
Good berries.
Well, it's berry season.
203
00:10:31,089 --> 00:10:32,591
I did not know that.
204
00:10:32,631 --> 00:10:37,220
♪
205
00:10:37,262 --> 00:10:40,890
Yup, we've gone out together
every night this week so far.
206
00:10:40,932 --> 00:10:43,935
I'd say we're almost officially
boyfriend and girlfriend.
207
00:10:43,977 --> 00:10:45,228
So which one are you?
208
00:10:46,854 --> 00:10:49,857
Have you kissed her yet?
Maybe. A little.
209
00:10:49,899 --> 00:10:52,402
No way!
Did she puke?
210
00:10:52,444 --> 00:10:54,571
Wait, wait.
Was it this kind of kiss?
211
00:10:54,613 --> 00:10:56,030
Or was it more like...
212
00:11:00,910 --> 00:11:02,287
Hey, Jeremy.
Hi, Jeremy.
213
00:11:04,038 --> 00:11:06,040
Still got that cold, huh?
Yeah.
214
00:11:06,082 --> 00:11:08,042
Hey, you coming to the
computer expo this weekend?
215
00:11:08,084 --> 00:11:09,169
No, I can't.
216
00:11:09,210 --> 00:11:10,667
I'm going roller
skating with Valerie.
217
00:11:10,669 --> 00:11:14,299
Well, maybe we could...
218
00:11:14,341 --> 00:11:17,594
Ah, jeez, I think
I just sprayed my throat.
219
00:11:19,471 --> 00:11:21,556
Great saying you.
Bye, Jeremy.
220
00:11:21,598 --> 00:11:23,350
Man, I don't think
I've ever seen that kid
221
00:11:23,391 --> 00:11:24,683
when he wasn't sneezing and...
222
00:11:26,603 --> 00:11:27,895
Wasn't there a dork next to me?
223
00:11:30,357 --> 00:11:31,858
Hey, you.
Hey, baby.
224
00:11:33,193 --> 00:11:34,819
So, Freddie...
So, Val...
225
00:11:34,861 --> 00:11:36,530
Remember when we were
on our first date
226
00:11:36,571 --> 00:11:37,864
and you were telling me
227
00:11:37,905 --> 00:11:39,197
how much fun it
is doing a webcast?
228
00:11:39,199 --> 00:11:42,035
Yeah, sure.
I want to do one.
229
00:11:42,076 --> 00:11:44,496
Really?
Well, you should.
230
00:11:44,538 --> 00:11:45,997
It's a lot of fun.
231
00:11:46,039 --> 00:11:48,041
Well, yeah, but I know,
like, nothing about
232
00:11:48,082 --> 00:11:51,919
all the techy stuff,
so I was just thinking...
233
00:11:51,961 --> 00:11:54,214
you wanna do it with me?
234
00:11:54,255 --> 00:11:56,424
You mean, you and me
do a webcast together?
235
00:11:56,466 --> 00:11:57,925
Uh-huh!
236
00:11:57,967 --> 00:12:00,261
We can do one every week
starting tomorrow night.
237
00:12:00,303 --> 00:12:02,222
But tomorrow night
is when I do iCarly.
238
00:12:03,264 --> 00:12:05,183
Oh.
239
00:12:05,225 --> 00:12:07,143
Well, okay.
240
00:12:07,185 --> 00:12:08,727
But I'll help you
any other night.
241
00:12:08,769 --> 00:12:10,522
Nah, no thanks.
242
00:12:10,564 --> 00:12:12,440
I really want to do
it tomorrow night.
243
00:12:12,482 --> 00:12:14,192
But Carly and
Sam are my friends.
244
00:12:14,234 --> 00:12:15,818
I can't just bail on them.
245
00:12:15,860 --> 00:12:19,113
Um, from what you told
me, Sam's not your friend.
246
00:12:19,155 --> 00:12:21,555
You said she's always calling
you names and putting you down.
247
00:12:21,575 --> 00:12:24,202
I know, but she can't help it.
She's just naturally vicious.
248
00:12:25,828 --> 00:12:27,744
And doesn't she always call
you a button-pushing monkey
249
00:12:27,746 --> 00:12:29,916
and tell you you're not
important to the show?
250
00:12:29,957 --> 00:12:32,711
Yeah, but...
Whatever.
251
00:12:32,751 --> 00:12:34,462
Don't worry about it.
252
00:12:34,504 --> 00:12:37,257
I can just find someone
else to help me.
253
00:12:37,298 --> 00:12:39,008
Hey, wait.
254
00:12:41,802 --> 00:12:43,930
I guess, uh...
255
00:12:43,971 --> 00:12:46,099
I guess Carly and Sam can
find another tech producer.
256
00:12:46,140 --> 00:12:48,727
Aww! Now that's
my Freddie bear.
257
00:12:53,064 --> 00:12:55,609
She kissed you, and
she's not even your mom.
258
00:12:58,069 --> 00:12:59,195
Impressive!
259
00:13:04,033 --> 00:13:09,205
♪
260
00:13:13,251 --> 00:13:14,531
Hey, I got your text message...
261
00:13:16,296 --> 00:13:17,505
Freddie quit!
Quit what?
262
00:13:17,547 --> 00:13:19,424
Sucking his thumb?
263
00:13:19,466 --> 00:13:20,925
He quit iCarly!
What?
264
00:13:20,967 --> 00:13:22,093
By email.
265
00:13:22,135 --> 00:13:23,928
What's wrong with
the little punk?
266
00:13:23,970 --> 00:13:25,388
I don't know.
267
00:13:25,430 --> 00:13:28,767
Let's go slap some
sense into that boy.
268
00:13:28,807 --> 00:13:30,727
Freddie!
269
00:13:30,769 --> 00:13:32,395
Freddie, open the door!
Open up!
270
00:13:32,437 --> 00:13:34,897
We need to talk
to you right now!
271
00:13:34,939 --> 00:13:36,566
Uh, Freddie's not here.
272
00:13:36,608 --> 00:13:38,401
I'm just a lady!
273
00:13:40,654 --> 00:13:42,530
What are you doing?
Picking the lock.
274
00:13:42,572 --> 00:13:44,732
How are you gonna pick the
lock with... oh, like that.
275
00:13:46,534 --> 00:13:48,787
Come here, Freddie!
Leave me alone, Sam!
276
00:13:48,827 --> 00:13:50,163
Sam, what are you gonna...
277
00:13:50,204 --> 00:13:51,665
Aah!
278
00:13:56,961 --> 00:13:58,254
That was assault!
279
00:13:59,880 --> 00:14:02,008
Why are you quitting iCarly?
Yeah, why?
280
00:14:02,049 --> 00:14:04,927
Well, 'cause...
281
00:14:04,969 --> 00:14:06,678
'cause maybe I don't like
the way Sam treats me.
282
00:14:06,680 --> 00:14:08,222
Oh, come on.
283
00:14:08,264 --> 00:14:10,558
Yeah, yes, she's
always putting me down, and...
284
00:14:10,600 --> 00:14:12,811
And calling me mean names,
and... and every time I get
285
00:14:12,851 --> 00:14:14,646
an ice cream cone, she licks it.
286
00:14:14,688 --> 00:14:16,731
She just licks it all over
the place just to bug me.
287
00:14:18,358 --> 00:14:20,901
Great, now what's
the real reason?
288
00:14:20,943 --> 00:14:25,532
Okay, Valerie
wants to do a web show
289
00:14:25,573 --> 00:14:27,450
and she asked me
to be her tech producer.
290
00:14:27,492 --> 00:14:29,202
Uh!
Uh!
291
00:14:29,243 --> 00:14:31,579
So you're just gonna ditch
iCarly for another web show?
292
00:14:31,621 --> 00:14:32,997
That's competing against us?
293
00:14:33,039 --> 00:14:35,583
Valerie's my girlfriend.
What am I supposed to do?
294
00:14:35,625 --> 00:14:36,905
Dump the chick.
How about that?
295
00:14:38,044 --> 00:14:40,254
You guys were the
ones that talked me into
296
00:14:40,296 --> 00:14:42,256
going out with her,
and now I'm the bad guy?
297
00:14:42,298 --> 00:14:43,174
Look, Freddie,
you better just...
298
00:14:43,216 --> 00:14:45,176
Stop.
299
00:14:45,218 --> 00:14:46,885
He's right.
Huh?
300
00:14:48,847 --> 00:14:50,139
He should help his girlfriend.
301
00:14:51,599 --> 00:14:52,892
Thanks.
302
00:14:56,855 --> 00:14:59,440
And I wasn't gonna leave
you guys with no help.
303
00:14:59,482 --> 00:15:02,068
I got you guys a
new tech producer...
304
00:15:02,109 --> 00:15:03,903
if you want him.
Who?
305
00:15:03,944 --> 00:15:05,152
He's really good
with the tech stuff.
306
00:15:05,154 --> 00:15:06,239
Who?
307
00:15:07,490 --> 00:15:09,826
In five...
308
00:15:09,868 --> 00:15:11,536
Four...
309
00:15:11,578 --> 00:15:12,829
Three...
310
00:15:12,871 --> 00:15:15,248
In five, four, three,
two, one... I'm Carly.
311
00:15:15,289 --> 00:15:16,791
I'm Sam.
And this is...
312
00:15:16,833 --> 00:15:18,000
And this...
313
00:15:18,042 --> 00:15:19,544
And this is iCarly.
314
00:15:21,045 --> 00:15:23,464
Now we'd like to welcome
aboard a new member
315
00:15:23,506 --> 00:15:24,716
of the iCarly team.
316
00:15:24,758 --> 00:15:26,467
Our new technical
producer, Jeremy.
317
00:15:26,509 --> 00:15:28,428
Or as we like to
call him, Germy.
318
00:15:32,891 --> 00:15:35,685
I got some spittle on the lens.
319
00:15:35,727 --> 00:15:37,395
Just wipe it off, Jeremy.
320
00:15:44,026 --> 00:15:46,529
Okay, this is another
new segment on iCarly,
321
00:15:46,571 --> 00:15:48,698
which we like to call...
322
00:15:48,740 --> 00:15:50,991
Animals Dressed
Like Other Animals.
323
00:15:54,953 --> 00:15:57,998
Okay, first up, we have
a dog dressed like a pig.
324
00:15:58,040 --> 00:15:59,793
I'll go get him.
You do that, Carls.
325
00:16:01,252 --> 00:16:02,712
We'd like to thank
our friend Robin
326
00:16:02,754 --> 00:16:04,380
for letting us
borrow her wiener dog.
327
00:16:05,548 --> 00:16:07,091
This is for your Robin.
328
00:16:09,510 --> 00:16:10,929
And thanks to my
brother, Spencer,
329
00:16:10,970 --> 00:16:12,806
for letting us use
his novelty pig parts.
330
00:16:15,683 --> 00:16:17,894
Um, I'm allergic to pigs.
331
00:16:17,936 --> 00:16:20,062
It's not a pig!
It's a wiener dog!
332
00:16:20,104 --> 00:16:22,231
How can you confuse
Robin's wiener dog with a pig?
333
00:16:22,273 --> 00:16:24,818
I need a tissue.
334
00:16:24,859 --> 00:16:26,609
We're gonna wrap up
the show early tonight.
335
00:16:26,611 --> 00:16:28,613
So join us next week...
Or not.
336
00:16:28,655 --> 00:16:30,406
Here at icarly.com.
337
00:16:30,448 --> 00:16:32,032
Maybe, bye.
Bye!
338
00:16:32,074 --> 00:16:35,662
♪
339
00:16:35,703 --> 00:16:37,956
And... we're clear.
340
00:16:37,996 --> 00:16:42,418
♪
341
00:16:42,460 --> 00:16:45,463
Hi, Sam.
Hey.
342
00:16:45,505 --> 00:16:47,507
I, uh, watched
iCarly the other night.
343
00:16:48,466 --> 00:16:50,885
Yikes.
344
00:16:50,927 --> 00:16:53,220
I don't need your
review, alright?
345
00:16:53,262 --> 00:16:56,098
Hey, don't be mad at me.
No, I will be mad at you.
346
00:16:56,140 --> 00:16:57,892
You stole Freddie and
that hurt our show.
347
00:16:57,934 --> 00:17:01,980
Sam... you don't need iCarly.
What do you mean I don't...
348
00:17:02,020 --> 00:17:04,190
Come do my show with me.
What?
349
00:17:04,231 --> 00:17:05,733
Oh, come on!
350
00:17:05,775 --> 00:17:07,986
ICarly's gonna crash and
burn without Freddie.
351
00:17:08,027 --> 00:17:09,696
I mean, duh.
352
00:17:09,737 --> 00:17:11,698
You know, Carly
happens to be my friend.
353
00:17:11,739 --> 00:17:14,617
Then why isn't your web
show called Carly and Sam?
354
00:17:14,659 --> 00:17:16,995
Why is it called iCarly?
355
00:17:17,036 --> 00:17:18,913
She didn't come
up with the name.
356
00:17:18,955 --> 00:17:20,915
Freddie did.
And we all like it.
357
00:17:20,957 --> 00:17:24,502
Well, if you were my cohost,
I'd call our show Val and Sam.
358
00:17:26,504 --> 00:17:29,716
Maybe even Sam and Val...
if you like that.
359
00:17:34,094 --> 00:17:36,556
This is a serious offer?
Oh, yeah.
360
00:17:36,597 --> 00:17:38,265
You, me, and Freddie?
Uh-huh.
361
00:17:38,307 --> 00:17:40,685
And we'll knock Carly Shay
right off the internet.
362
00:17:40,727 --> 00:17:43,021
And then, in a couple of years,
363
00:17:43,061 --> 00:17:46,148
we could have the most
popular show on the web.
364
00:17:46,190 --> 00:17:48,943
I bet we could.
That was the plan all along.
365
00:17:48,985 --> 00:17:51,362
You've got a
devious little brain.
366
00:17:51,404 --> 00:17:53,573
I like that.
I thought you might.
367
00:17:53,614 --> 00:17:55,783
Let's talk tomorrow.
Absolutely.
368
00:17:56,868 --> 00:17:59,787
Oh, and don't say anything.
369
00:17:59,829 --> 00:18:02,415
We don't want Carly
to know about this.
370
00:18:02,456 --> 00:18:04,333
Believe me, I won't.
371
00:18:05,376 --> 00:18:07,670
She what?!
372
00:18:07,712 --> 00:18:09,672
That skunk bag
tried to steal me too!
373
00:18:09,714 --> 00:18:10,924
She wants to ruin iCarly
374
00:18:10,965 --> 00:18:12,800
so she can have
the hottest show on the web.
375
00:18:12,842 --> 00:18:15,053
Oh my God, she's
just using Freddie!
376
00:18:15,094 --> 00:18:16,679
Yeah, and now she's
trying to use me.
377
00:18:16,721 --> 00:18:18,932
That little...
Say it!
378
00:18:18,973 --> 00:18:21,601
I don't like to say it.
Spencer says it's not ladylike.
379
00:18:21,642 --> 00:18:23,770
Say it!
That skunk bag!
380
00:18:23,811 --> 00:18:25,688
Feels good, doesn't it?!
Yeah, it does!
381
00:18:25,730 --> 00:18:27,312
We gotta go tell Freddie!
Yeah, we are!
382
00:18:27,314 --> 00:18:29,275
Can we get a smoothie first?!
No, we cannot!
383
00:18:29,316 --> 00:18:31,903
♪
384
00:18:32,987 --> 00:18:34,403
You're talking
about my girlfriend.
385
00:18:34,405 --> 00:18:36,616
She's not your girlfriend.
She's just using you.
386
00:18:36,657 --> 00:18:38,701
Then I enjoy being used.
387
00:18:40,286 --> 00:18:41,994
Hey, Carly, there's a
little girl on the phone.
388
00:18:41,996 --> 00:18:43,516
You wanna buy some
Girl Sprout cookies?
389
00:18:43,539 --> 00:18:45,499
No, thanks.
No, thanks.
390
00:18:45,541 --> 00:18:47,209
Huh?
You gotta believe us.
391
00:18:47,251 --> 00:18:49,629
She tried to get me to
be on her web show, too.
392
00:18:49,670 --> 00:18:51,255
You're lying!
I don't lie.
393
00:18:51,297 --> 00:18:53,257
Yeah, Sam may be
obnoxious and irresponsible,
394
00:18:53,299 --> 00:18:54,592
but she doesn't lie.
395
00:18:55,676 --> 00:18:58,012
Oh, you know I love you.
396
00:18:58,054 --> 00:19:00,222
She says if you buy 10
boxes, you get a dollar off.
397
00:19:00,264 --> 00:19:01,975
I don't want any
Girl Sprout cookies.
398
00:19:02,016 --> 00:19:03,307
She really doesn't
want any cookies.
399
00:19:03,309 --> 00:19:05,603
Huh?
400
00:19:05,645 --> 00:19:07,605
Fine, I'll go
ask Valerie myself.
401
00:19:07,647 --> 00:19:09,021
She's not gonna
tell you the truth.
402
00:19:09,023 --> 00:19:11,609
She said no thank you.
Valerie's using you.
403
00:19:11,651 --> 00:19:13,027
She is not.
She is.
404
00:19:13,069 --> 00:19:17,115
We don't want your cookies!
Believe us.
405
00:19:17,155 --> 00:19:19,073
We've been your friends
way longer than she has.
406
00:19:19,075 --> 00:19:20,952
How many times do
I have to say no?!
407
00:19:20,994 --> 00:19:22,787
Wait, how much for
the Twin Mints?
408
00:19:22,829 --> 00:19:30,003
♪
409
00:19:30,044 --> 00:19:31,838
How long 'till we go on?
Seven minutes.
410
00:19:31,879 --> 00:19:34,090
Where's Germy?
In the bathroom.
411
00:19:34,132 --> 00:19:35,798
He brought special nose plugs
that are supposed to keep snot
412
00:19:35,800 --> 00:19:37,259
from dripping out
of his nostrils.
413
00:19:37,301 --> 00:19:39,637
Charming.
414
00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:42,598
Here he comes.
415
00:19:42,640 --> 00:19:44,642
Let's just get
ready to do the show.
416
00:19:44,684 --> 00:19:48,354
Here I am.
Whee.
417
00:19:48,395 --> 00:19:51,107
I put in the nose plugs.
They should keep me from...
418
00:19:55,402 --> 00:19:56,696
Where did my right plug go?
419
00:20:02,368 --> 00:20:03,995
Don't!
420
00:20:04,037 --> 00:20:06,497
I'm... I'm sorry.
421
00:20:06,539 --> 00:20:08,248
I can't...
422
00:20:08,290 --> 00:20:09,625
I gotta go home.
423
00:20:19,301 --> 00:20:21,137
Now what?
424
00:20:21,179 --> 00:20:23,539
We can't do the show without
someone doing the tech stuff.
425
00:20:31,064 --> 00:20:32,481
Hi.
426
00:20:32,523 --> 00:20:34,817
You were right.
427
00:20:34,859 --> 00:20:37,028
Valerie admitted
she tried to steal me.
428
00:20:37,070 --> 00:20:40,907
Yeah, she even tried to get me
to talk you into doing her show.
429
00:20:40,948 --> 00:20:44,160
You guys were right about her.
She's a skunk sack.
430
00:20:44,202 --> 00:20:46,286
Bag.
Bag.
431
00:20:46,328 --> 00:20:49,665
What did you do?
Broke up with her.
432
00:20:49,707 --> 00:20:51,918
I'm sorry.
That's cool.
433
00:20:57,006 --> 00:20:59,550
Well, come on!
434
00:20:59,592 --> 00:21:00,968
Let's do a but-kicking web show.
435
00:21:01,010 --> 00:21:03,054
That'll take your
mind off of it.
436
00:21:03,096 --> 00:21:04,970
Look, I know we haven't
rehearsed it with you...
437
00:21:04,972 --> 00:21:07,307
I didn't say I'd
come back to iCarly.
438
00:21:07,349 --> 00:21:09,143
Yeah, but...
You said Valerie...
439
00:21:09,185 --> 00:21:11,518
That doesn't mean that she
was wrong when she said you guys
440
00:21:11,520 --> 00:21:13,145
don't treat me like
I'm important to the show.
441
00:21:13,147 --> 00:21:15,733
I always tell you.
Yeah, you do.
442
00:21:18,402 --> 00:21:21,279
Tell him he's just as
important to the show as we are.
443
00:21:21,321 --> 00:21:24,282
Oh, why don't you just make
me drink out of a toilet?
444
00:21:24,324 --> 00:21:25,743
Tell him!
445
00:21:32,458 --> 00:21:35,002
Freddie...
446
00:21:35,044 --> 00:21:37,255
you're just as important
to iCarly as we are.
447
00:21:45,679 --> 00:21:47,014
She gave me a wedgie!
448
00:21:48,348 --> 00:21:50,517
No charge.
Now come on, let's do the show!
449
00:21:50,559 --> 00:21:58,559
♪
450
00:22:00,820 --> 00:22:02,947
Hey!
Hi, Spencer.
451
00:22:02,989 --> 00:22:06,117
You guys rocked tonight.
You saw our show?
452
00:22:06,159 --> 00:22:08,199
Yeah, I watched it over
at my buddy Socko's house.
453
00:22:08,202 --> 00:22:10,037
You have a friend named Socko?
454
00:22:10,079 --> 00:22:12,623
Yeah, he's the one who
sells me all the cool socks.
455
00:22:16,294 --> 00:22:18,963
So I thought Freddie quit the...
I'm back on iCarly.
456
00:22:19,005 --> 00:22:20,673
As our permanent
technical producer.
457
00:22:20,714 --> 00:22:22,008
Good.
458
00:22:22,049 --> 00:22:24,177
Hey, so what's Valerie
gonna do about her show?
459
00:22:24,218 --> 00:22:25,803
I think it's probably still on.
460
00:22:25,845 --> 00:22:27,085
Well, go to her site.
Hurry!
461
00:22:27,096 --> 00:22:29,223
Okay, okay, calm
down, I'm going.
462
00:22:29,265 --> 00:22:32,434
Um, so now if you'll look
at the monitor above me,
463
00:22:32,476 --> 00:22:36,897
you will see, um, a video of my
family's recent trip to Idaho,
464
00:22:36,939 --> 00:22:38,398
home of the potato.
465
00:22:41,527 --> 00:22:42,527
Why won't it play?
466
00:22:43,988 --> 00:22:45,348
I don't see why
it's not playing.
467
00:22:47,616 --> 00:22:49,952
Is she okay?
468
00:22:49,994 --> 00:22:51,369
Yeah, yeah, she's getting up.
469
00:22:58,169 --> 00:23:00,546
I don't know what to do now.
470
00:23:00,587 --> 00:23:02,131
I do.
471
00:23:02,173 --> 00:23:04,424
♪
472
00:23:07,427 --> 00:23:10,430
Hey, people! We need you to do something.
You have to do this.
473
00:23:10,472 --> 00:23:12,266
We want you to make
a crazy sandwich.
474
00:23:12,308 --> 00:23:15,144
Make an insane sandwich!
Then take a picture of it...
475
00:23:15,186 --> 00:23:17,271
and send that pic
to us at iCarly.com.
476
00:23:17,313 --> 00:23:19,106
And if your sandwich
is crazy enough...
477
00:23:19,148 --> 00:23:20,774
we'll put it
on the iCarly homepage
478
00:23:20,816 --> 00:23:22,276
for the whole world to see.
479
00:23:22,318 --> 00:23:24,362
So if you want to win
most insane sandwich ever...
480
00:23:24,402 --> 00:23:26,613
go make a bizarro sandwich...
take a pic of it...
481
00:23:26,655 --> 00:23:28,782
and send that pic to us
at iCarly.com.
482
00:23:28,824 --> 00:23:31,451
Do it!
We want your sandwich pics!
483
00:23:31,493 --> 00:23:33,287
And now, Sam and I
will make weird noises.
484
00:23:33,329 --> 00:23:34,330
Mah.
Mah.
485
00:23:34,372 --> 00:23:36,957
Mmm!
34916
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof