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1
00:00:22,291 --> 00:00:23,917
Carly, get in here, right now.
2
00:00:27,125 --> 00:00:28,458
Have a seat.
3
00:00:31,625 --> 00:00:34,250
So, I understand you put
some fliers up
4
00:00:34,291 --> 00:00:36,291
all over the school?
5
00:00:36,333 --> 00:00:37,959
Yes, I did.
6
00:00:38,000 --> 00:00:39,875
Why would you Photodoc my head
7
00:00:39,917 --> 00:00:42,750
onto the body of a rhinoceros?
8
00:00:42,792 --> 00:00:45,792
Well, I...
Rhinoceros? Oh, no, no, no.
9
00:00:45,834 --> 00:00:47,875
She made you a hippopotamus.
10
00:00:47,917 --> 00:00:49,375
No, no.
She's a rhinoceros.
11
00:00:49,417 --> 00:00:51,250
A hippo has fatter thighs
and a wider snout.
12
00:00:51,291 --> 00:00:53,667
What does it matter?
13
00:00:56,750 --> 00:00:59,709
I think we should call
her father in to discuss this.
14
00:00:59,750 --> 00:01:01,792
Um, my dad's stationed
in Europe right now.
15
00:01:01,834 --> 00:01:03,208
He's in the military.
16
00:01:03,250 --> 00:01:05,123
Well, there must be
some adult in charge of her.
17
00:01:05,125 --> 00:01:06,250
My older brother, Spencer.
18
00:01:06,291 --> 00:01:09,792
Oh, yes, the artist.
19
00:01:09,834 --> 00:01:11,291
He's a great artist.
20
00:01:11,333 --> 00:01:14,000
Look, we don't need to call
her brother in about this.
21
00:01:14,041 --> 00:01:16,667
I'm sure that you can come up
with a suitable punishment.
22
00:01:16,709 --> 00:01:19,417
Fine.
23
00:01:19,458 --> 00:01:21,542
You know, Carly, I am in charge
24
00:01:21,583 --> 00:01:23,375
of the talent show this year.
25
00:01:23,417 --> 00:01:25,250
Yeah, you're holding
auditions on Saturday.
26
00:01:25,291 --> 00:01:28,000
No, you are.
Huh?!
27
00:01:28,041 --> 00:01:30,166
I will be enjoying my Saturday
28
00:01:30,208 --> 00:01:32,083
while you videotape
the auditions for me.
29
00:01:32,125 --> 00:01:33,834
No! I'm going to see
Cuddlefish play live
30
00:01:33,875 --> 00:01:35,291
at the Hawthorne on Saturday!
31
00:01:35,333 --> 00:01:38,875
Not anymore.
Aw, come on!
32
00:01:38,917 --> 00:01:41,583
It's what you get for
turning me into a hippopotamus.
33
00:01:41,625 --> 00:01:42,333
Rhinoceros.
34
00:01:42,375 --> 00:01:44,166
Get out!
Right.
35
00:01:44,208 --> 00:01:48,375
In five, four, three, two...
36
00:01:48,417 --> 00:01:50,375
♪
37
00:01:50,417 --> 00:01:52,667
♪ I know, you see ♪
38
00:01:52,709 --> 00:01:55,083
♪ Somehow the world
will change for me ♪
39
00:01:55,125 --> 00:01:57,875
♪ And be so wonderful ♪
40
00:01:57,917 --> 00:01:59,500
♪
41
00:01:59,542 --> 00:02:01,834
♪ Live life, breathe air ♪
42
00:02:01,875 --> 00:02:04,291
♪ I know somehow
we're gonna get there ♪
43
00:02:04,333 --> 00:02:07,333
♪ And feel so wonderful ♪
44
00:02:09,166 --> 00:02:12,625
♪ It's all for real ♪
45
00:02:12,667 --> 00:02:14,709
♪ I'm telling you
just how I feel ♪
46
00:02:14,750 --> 00:02:18,792
♪ So wake up the members
of my nation ♪
47
00:02:18,834 --> 00:02:20,458
♪ It's your time to be ♪
48
00:02:20,500 --> 00:02:23,458
♪ There's no chance
unless you take one ♪
49
00:02:23,500 --> 00:02:26,166
♪ And the time to see
the brighter side ♪
50
00:02:26,208 --> 00:02:29,417
♪ Of every situation ♪
51
00:02:29,458 --> 00:02:32,291
♪ Some things are meant to be
so give me your best ♪
52
00:02:32,333 --> 00:02:34,625
♪ And leave the rest to me ♪
53
00:02:34,667 --> 00:02:39,041
♪ Leave it all to me,
leave it all to me ♪
54
00:02:39,083 --> 00:02:42,166
♪ Just leave it all to me ♪
55
00:02:47,792 --> 00:02:50,750
♪
56
00:02:50,792 --> 00:02:52,041
Ah! Let me go!
57
00:02:52,083 --> 00:02:53,625
Say you're sorry.
I'm sorry!
58
00:02:53,667 --> 00:02:56,125
And what are you sorry for?
For saying you're aggressive!
59
00:02:58,583 --> 00:03:01,250
And what am I, again?
Pretty and sweet!
60
00:03:01,291 --> 00:03:06,917
Thank you! Now the next time...
Ow! Hair, hair, hair.
61
00:03:06,959 --> 00:03:08,417
Hi!
Did you get in trouble?
62
00:03:08,458 --> 00:03:09,750
Of course I got in trouble!
63
00:03:09,792 --> 00:03:11,456
Teachers tend to get upset
when you put their heads
64
00:03:11,458 --> 00:03:13,458
on the bodies of big,
fat animals!
65
00:03:14,458 --> 00:03:16,166
I can't believe
I let you talk me
66
00:03:16,208 --> 00:03:17,750
into taking the blame for you!
67
00:03:17,792 --> 00:03:20,667
You had to. I've already been
suspended once this semester.
68
00:03:20,709 --> 00:03:22,542
If I'd gotten busted,
they'd have expelled me.
69
00:03:22,583 --> 00:03:24,041
Well, here's an idea.
What?
70
00:03:24,083 --> 00:03:25,834
Stop doing bad things!
71
00:03:27,250 --> 00:03:29,625
Okay. Chillax.
72
00:03:29,667 --> 00:03:32,041
I will not chillax!
73
00:03:32,083 --> 00:03:33,883
And get excited,
'cause you and I get to spend
74
00:03:33,917 --> 00:03:35,542
our entire Saturday here
75
00:03:35,583 --> 00:03:38,375
videotaping kids' auditions
for the talent show.
76
00:03:38,417 --> 00:03:39,542
Whatev.
77
00:03:40,792 --> 00:03:43,375
You know, anybody but me would
punch you right in the head.
78
00:03:43,417 --> 00:03:47,000
Which is why you are
my best friend.
79
00:03:47,041 --> 00:03:49,166
Good to know.
Now, why are you mine?
80
00:03:50,917 --> 00:03:53,166
Because I'm a lovable person.
81
00:03:54,917 --> 00:04:02,917
♪
82
00:04:06,875 --> 00:04:08,291
You dropped this!
83
00:04:09,417 --> 00:04:10,709
Um, thanks, but you really...
84
00:04:10,750 --> 00:04:12,458
I was gonna walk you
home from school
85
00:04:12,500 --> 00:04:15,500
but I couldn't find ya. Hey!
86
00:04:15,542 --> 00:04:17,123
Freddie, were you
looking out your peephole
87
00:04:17,125 --> 00:04:18,500
waiting for me to come home?
88
00:04:18,542 --> 00:04:19,667
No!
89
00:04:19,709 --> 00:04:21,333
Freddie.
Yes.
90
00:04:22,542 --> 00:04:24,041
I thought we talked about this.
91
00:04:24,083 --> 00:04:26,500
We can be buds, but you gotta
get over this crush thing.
92
00:04:26,542 --> 00:04:28,834
I am over it. Seriously.
93
00:04:28,875 --> 00:04:31,000
I'm in love with you.
You just wanna be friends.
94
00:04:31,041 --> 00:04:33,542
And I'm totally cool
living with that constant pain.
95
00:04:34,959 --> 00:04:36,208
Oh, god.
96
00:04:38,083 --> 00:04:39,166
I'm home.
97
00:04:39,208 --> 00:04:41,625
Hey, kiddo! Up here.
98
00:04:43,542 --> 00:04:46,458
Just taking some pics
of my robot sculpture.
99
00:04:46,500 --> 00:04:50,083
Smile! Yeah.
100
00:04:50,125 --> 00:04:52,291
You know, for most
eighth grade girls,
101
00:04:52,333 --> 00:04:54,373
if they came home and found
their 26-year-old brother
102
00:04:54,375 --> 00:04:56,000
dangling upside down
from the ceiling
103
00:04:56,041 --> 00:04:58,500
over a giant robot
made out of soda bottles,
104
00:04:58,542 --> 00:04:59,792
it'd be weird.
105
00:05:02,000 --> 00:05:04,208
You're saying I'm abnormal.
106
00:05:05,250 --> 00:05:07,125
Do I need to say it?
107
00:05:07,166 --> 00:05:08,966
Come down from there
before you hurt yourself.
108
00:05:09,000 --> 00:05:10,166
No worries.
109
00:05:10,208 --> 00:05:11,928
I got my leg wrapped
around this pipe... Ah!
110
00:05:16,000 --> 00:05:17,834
Please help me stand up.
111
00:05:22,458 --> 00:05:24,875
Are you all right?
Yea... Nope.
112
00:05:26,125 --> 00:05:28,917
I dislocated my shoulder again.
113
00:05:28,959 --> 00:05:30,834
One sec.
114
00:05:33,333 --> 00:05:35,750
Yeah, that fixed her.
115
00:05:37,375 --> 00:05:39,041
Good.
So listen, I need a favor.
116
00:05:39,083 --> 00:05:40,375
Shoot.
I have to tape
117
00:05:40,417 --> 00:05:41,998
a bunch of auditions
at school on Saturday.
118
00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:43,625
Fun.
Yeah, not really.
119
00:05:44,709 --> 00:05:46,456
Anyway, would you let me
borrow your video camera?
120
00:05:46,458 --> 00:05:48,041
I would.
Awesome.
121
00:05:48,083 --> 00:05:50,375
Though I can't.
122
00:05:50,417 --> 00:05:55,458
Why not?
123
00:05:55,500 --> 00:05:57,625
I made it into a squirrel.
124
00:05:57,667 --> 00:06:03,083
♪
125
00:06:03,125 --> 00:06:05,500
I told you the front doors
would be locked.
126
00:06:05,542 --> 00:06:07,581
You gotta go around to the blue
doors in the back of the...
127
00:06:07,583 --> 00:06:09,542
Oh, my God.
128
00:06:09,583 --> 00:06:13,125
What do you think
of my equipment?
129
00:06:13,166 --> 00:06:15,041
I just asked to borrow
your video camera.
130
00:06:15,083 --> 00:06:16,417
What is all this?
131
00:06:16,458 --> 00:06:19,375
Well, that's a three-chip,
high-def camcorder
132
00:06:19,417 --> 00:06:21,625
with a hyper-cardioid
condenser microphone.
133
00:06:21,667 --> 00:06:25,333
Mounted on a carbon fiber tripod
with a low-drag fluid head.
134
00:06:25,375 --> 00:06:27,375
I also brought you
juice and a bagel.
135
00:06:30,125 --> 00:06:33,208
Hey, you invited the doof.
Sam.
136
00:06:33,250 --> 00:06:38,041
Aw, man! I didn't know
that was gonna be here.
137
00:06:38,083 --> 00:06:41,125
She. I'm a she, Freddie,
as in "girl."
138
00:06:41,166 --> 00:06:43,458
Just keep your hands
off my AV equipment.
139
00:06:43,500 --> 00:06:45,375
You mean I can't play
with the white balance
140
00:06:45,417 --> 00:06:48,542
on your super-dee duper-dee
camcorder?
141
00:06:48,583 --> 00:06:51,500
Ah, sure! Everybody jokes
about the white balance
142
00:06:51,542 --> 00:06:54,083
'til the skin tones
go magenta...
143
00:06:55,709 --> 00:06:59,458
Carly will never love you.
144
00:07:01,625 --> 00:07:03,083
That's it!
145
00:07:03,125 --> 00:07:05,333
I'm taking my stuff
and I'm going home!
146
00:07:05,375 --> 00:07:07,875
Please stay.
Okay.
147
00:07:11,709 --> 00:07:13,709
Okay, Jeb,
you ready to audition?
148
00:07:13,750 --> 00:07:17,000
Yeah. I will be performing
a scene from a French play
149
00:07:17,041 --> 00:07:20,875
called...
150
00:07:20,917 --> 00:07:22,917
Okay.
151
00:07:22,959 --> 00:07:25,750
We don't know what
that means, but knock us out.
152
00:07:25,792 --> 00:07:27,208
Rolling?
153
00:07:27,250 --> 00:07:28,583
Uh... rolling.
154
00:07:28,625 --> 00:07:31,417
But... but
155
00:07:31,458 --> 00:07:35,291
where did she go?
I don't know.
156
00:07:35,333 --> 00:07:38,959
But when will she be back?
I don't know!
157
00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:43,792
Well, where can I find her?
I tell you, I do not know!
158
00:07:47,959 --> 00:07:49,625
Okay!
Nice job!
159
00:07:51,959 --> 00:07:54,000
What'd you think?
I don't know!
160
00:07:54,041 --> 00:07:55,333
You don't know?!
161
00:07:55,375 --> 00:07:57,959
I tell you, I do not know!
But you must know!
162
00:07:58,000 --> 00:07:59,959
How can I know
when I do not know?
163
00:08:00,041 --> 00:08:01,542
I don't know.
164
00:08:03,750 --> 00:08:11,500
♪
165
00:08:12,959 --> 00:08:14,750
I will play the trumpet.
166
00:08:14,792 --> 00:08:16,291
Great.
Nice.
167
00:08:17,500 --> 00:08:20,291
While hopping
on this pogo stick.
168
00:08:26,709 --> 00:08:31,083
♪
169
00:08:32,625 --> 00:08:34,125
That's what I'm talking about!
170
00:08:34,166 --> 00:08:37,417
Great job!
You go, girl! Yeah.
171
00:08:37,458 --> 00:08:39,750
Pogo-tastic!
That's awesome!
172
00:08:39,792 --> 00:08:42,208
Jump and blow!
173
00:08:42,250 --> 00:08:43,458
So the doc says,
174
00:08:43,500 --> 00:08:45,458
"Why'd you wait so long
to bring her in?"
175
00:08:45,500 --> 00:08:49,166
So I say, "I liked the eggs."
176
00:08:52,542 --> 00:08:54,417
That's awesome.
Thanks.
177
00:08:55,500 --> 00:08:57,750
Not that funny.
No, no, not at all.
178
00:08:59,750 --> 00:09:01,083
But forget that.
179
00:09:01,125 --> 00:09:03,045
Can we please discuss
the boy's hair and glasses?
180
00:09:03,083 --> 00:09:05,041
He looks like Miss Briggs.
181
00:09:05,083 --> 00:09:08,875
Yeah, except he doesn't have
Miss Briggs' crazy pointy boobs.
182
00:09:08,917 --> 00:09:12,375
I know!
What is up with those?
183
00:09:12,417 --> 00:09:15,208
It's like she stuffs
waffle cones in her bra.
184
00:09:15,250 --> 00:09:17,041
Totally! She could
poke an eye out
185
00:09:17,083 --> 00:09:18,250
with one of those things.
186
00:09:20,375 --> 00:09:22,375
Okay, okay,
we better keep going.
187
00:09:22,417 --> 00:09:24,875
We've still got 11 more
kids to see.
188
00:09:24,917 --> 00:09:27,000
No.
Eleven?
189
00:09:27,041 --> 00:09:28,792
Calm down.
They can't get worse.
190
00:09:37,750 --> 00:09:39,375
And I was wrong.
191
00:09:42,834 --> 00:09:45,959
♪
192
00:09:53,625 --> 00:09:55,500
Sam.
193
00:09:55,542 --> 00:09:56,792
Sam.
194
00:09:58,208 --> 00:09:59,500
Wake up!
195
00:10:01,542 --> 00:10:04,458
What time is it?
196
00:10:04,500 --> 00:10:07,792
Late. What time is your mom
coming to pick you up?
197
00:10:07,834 --> 00:10:10,500
She's not. I told her you
invited me to spend the night.
198
00:10:10,542 --> 00:10:13,083
I didn't invite you
to spend the night.
199
00:10:13,125 --> 00:10:14,834
Well, you should
'cause I'm not leaving.
200
00:10:18,125 --> 00:10:19,583
What you doing?
201
00:10:19,625 --> 00:10:21,498
Checking to make sure Freddie
put the auditions online.
202
00:10:21,500 --> 00:10:23,000
I told Miss Briggs
we'd upload 'em
203
00:10:23,041 --> 00:10:25,289
on SplashFace tonight so she
could watch 'em in the morning.
204
00:10:25,291 --> 00:10:27,250
I kind of hate Miss Briggs.
205
00:10:27,291 --> 00:10:28,665
Remember when
she called me a demon?
206
00:10:28,667 --> 00:10:30,709
No!
Oh, Yeah.
207
00:10:30,750 --> 00:10:32,458
When I put that
raw chicken in her purse...
208
00:10:32,500 --> 00:10:34,667
Shut up and come look at this!
209
00:10:34,709 --> 00:10:36,917
What? Freddie didn't
upload the auditions?
210
00:10:36,959 --> 00:10:38,750
No! He uploaded us!
211
00:10:38,792 --> 00:10:40,041
What?
Look!
212
00:10:40,083 --> 00:10:43,250
It's like she stuffs
waffle cones in her bra.
213
00:10:43,291 --> 00:10:45,125
That's you and me!
Sure is!
214
00:10:45,166 --> 00:10:46,875
He wasn't supposed to film us!
215
00:10:46,917 --> 00:10:47,959
We were being all goofy
216
00:10:48,000 --> 00:10:49,917
and acting like idiots all day!
217
00:10:49,959 --> 00:10:51,375
Oh, my God.
218
00:10:51,417 --> 00:10:53,792
We made fun of Miss Briggs
and her crazy pointy boobs!
219
00:10:55,458 --> 00:10:57,041
Whoa, if she sees that...
220
00:10:57,083 --> 00:10:59,625
Anyone can see it!
It's on SplashFace!
221
00:10:59,667 --> 00:11:03,041
Okay, okay, chillax.
222
00:11:03,083 --> 00:11:04,917
Look, see the view count?
223
00:11:04,959 --> 00:11:07,250
Only 27 people
have clicked on it.
224
00:11:07,291 --> 00:11:10,625
Oh. Okay, good.
225
00:11:14,041 --> 00:11:16,041
Sam?
Yeah.
226
00:11:16,083 --> 00:11:18,625
That's 27,000!
227
00:11:18,667 --> 00:11:21,375
♪
228
00:11:27,417 --> 00:11:30,166
Quit it, Sam!
Let go of my foot!
229
00:11:30,208 --> 00:11:33,917
Too much friction! Let go!
230
00:11:33,959 --> 00:11:36,667
What is the matter with you?!
231
00:11:36,709 --> 00:11:39,750
Why'd you film us
at the auditions today?
232
00:11:39,792 --> 00:11:42,291
Oh. 'Cause you guys
were being funny.
233
00:11:42,333 --> 00:11:44,125
Well, you shouldn't have
put us online
234
00:11:44,166 --> 00:11:45,625
without our permission!
235
00:11:45,667 --> 00:11:47,625
I didn't!
I edited you guys out
236
00:11:47,667 --> 00:11:49,542
before I uploaded the auditions.
237
00:11:49,583 --> 00:11:51,875
No, you did
the opposite of that!
238
00:11:51,917 --> 00:11:54,750
What? There's no way I...
239
00:11:54,792 --> 00:11:56,291
Uh-oh.
240
00:11:57,166 --> 00:11:58,792
Yeah.
Just take us off the site!
241
00:11:58,834 --> 00:12:00,959
Okay, okay!
Just give me a sec.
242
00:12:01,000 --> 00:12:02,542
Oh, this is so not good.
243
00:12:02,583 --> 00:12:04,667
Anyone, anyone in the world
can just click and see
244
00:12:04,709 --> 00:12:06,583
everything we did
and said today.
245
00:12:06,625 --> 00:12:08,385
It's so embarrassing.
And if Miss Briggs...
246
00:12:08,417 --> 00:12:09,832
Don't even talk about it.
If she...
247
00:12:09,834 --> 00:12:11,291
Ha! Got it.
248
00:12:11,333 --> 00:12:12,667
See? It says,
"At your request,
249
00:12:12,709 --> 00:12:14,375
this video will be removed."
250
00:12:14,417 --> 00:12:15,375
Good!
Finally.
251
00:12:15,417 --> 00:12:16,291
Tomorrow morning.
252
00:12:16,333 --> 00:12:17,750
Ugh, great.
Aw, man!
253
00:12:17,792 --> 00:12:19,417
Do you know how many
more thousands
254
00:12:19,458 --> 00:12:20,709
can view it by then?
Alright!
255
00:12:20,750 --> 00:12:22,667
Look, before you get
all freaked out,
256
00:12:22,709 --> 00:12:24,834
SplashFace has message boards.
257
00:12:24,875 --> 00:12:25,917
So?
258
00:12:25,959 --> 00:12:27,415
So, let's see
what people are saying
259
00:12:27,417 --> 00:12:28,542
about the video.
260
00:12:28,583 --> 00:12:30,417
Um, okay, here's one.
261
00:12:30,458 --> 00:12:33,083
"Carly, you and your
friend Sam crack me up.
262
00:12:33,125 --> 00:12:34,208
Funny stuff."
263
00:12:34,250 --> 00:12:36,000
Great, so one kid...
Wait.
264
00:12:36,041 --> 00:12:37,625
SlackerBoy314 writes,
265
00:12:37,667 --> 00:12:40,041
"Carly and Sam,
you chicks are hilarious.
266
00:12:40,083 --> 00:12:41,333
When's your next show?"
267
00:12:41,375 --> 00:12:42,625
And this kid says,
268
00:12:42,667 --> 00:12:44,917
"You guys are way better
than most of the puke
269
00:12:44,959 --> 00:12:46,959
here on SplashFace."
270
00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:49,250
Wow. They love us.
271
00:12:49,291 --> 00:12:51,834
Yeah! More than puke.
272
00:12:53,709 --> 00:12:57,542
♪
273
00:12:57,583 --> 00:12:59,875
Where's Miss Briggs?
What if she saw it?
274
00:12:59,917 --> 00:13:01,458
Video was off
by yesterday morning.
275
00:13:01,500 --> 00:13:02,915
What if she saw it
before it was off?
276
00:13:02,917 --> 00:13:04,667
It was Sunday.
She was probably in church.
277
00:13:04,709 --> 00:13:07,333
What church would let
Miss Briggs in the door?
278
00:13:10,583 --> 00:13:13,375
Hello, Carly. Samantha.
279
00:13:13,417 --> 00:13:15,542
Howdy.
Morning, Miss Briggs.
280
00:13:15,583 --> 00:13:17,709
Um, we had some trouble
putting the video online,
281
00:13:17,750 --> 00:13:20,583
so here's a DVD of every kid
who auditioned on Saturday.
282
00:13:20,625 --> 00:13:23,083
Thank you.
Sure.
283
00:13:23,125 --> 00:13:27,041
I'll try not to poke a hole
in this with my pointy bosoms.
284
00:13:29,625 --> 00:13:33,583
She saw the video.
We're so sorry.
285
00:13:35,709 --> 00:13:37,417
Miss Briggs?
What?
286
00:13:37,458 --> 00:13:39,208
I typed up a list of the kids
287
00:13:39,250 --> 00:13:41,041
we think should be
in the talent show.
288
00:13:42,500 --> 00:13:45,000
Snorting milk?
Pogo stick hopping?
289
00:13:45,041 --> 00:13:46,542
These aren't talents.
290
00:13:46,583 --> 00:13:48,208
They were the most fun to watch.
291
00:13:48,250 --> 00:13:49,542
Goodbye.
292
00:13:49,583 --> 00:13:51,709
Wait, so you're not gonna
let any of the kids
293
00:13:51,750 --> 00:13:55,458
we picked be in the show?
That's right. Girls.
294
00:14:07,208 --> 00:14:09,583
No one enjoys that!
295
00:14:11,875 --> 00:14:17,333
♪
296
00:14:17,375 --> 00:14:19,291
I am so mad!
297
00:14:19,333 --> 00:14:20,583
Me, too.
298
00:14:22,166 --> 00:14:24,291
I need some ham.
299
00:14:24,333 --> 00:14:27,250
Seriously,
Miss Briggs is the worst!
300
00:14:27,291 --> 00:14:28,792
You don't gotta convince me.
301
00:14:28,834 --> 00:14:31,000
I hated her even after
she got that brown lump
302
00:14:31,041 --> 00:14:32,834
removed from her nose.
303
00:14:34,583 --> 00:14:36,500
I'll tell you something.
304
00:14:36,542 --> 00:14:38,583
She is what's wrong
with the world.
305
00:14:38,625 --> 00:14:40,025
Who's what's wrong
with the world?
306
00:14:40,041 --> 00:14:41,583
Miss Briggs.
Oh.
307
00:14:41,625 --> 00:14:43,305
Well, hey, at least she got
that brown lump
308
00:14:43,333 --> 00:14:45,166
taken off of her nose.
309
00:14:45,208 --> 00:14:46,750
I just hate it
when adults like her
310
00:14:46,792 --> 00:14:49,125
get to control what kids
can do and see.
311
00:14:49,166 --> 00:14:50,792
It ticks me off.
312
00:14:50,834 --> 00:14:53,917
Why do they put a bone
right in the middle of a ham?
313
00:14:57,125 --> 00:15:00,375
Hey, remember all that stuff
those kids wrote about us
314
00:15:00,417 --> 00:15:02,583
on the message boards?
Yeah.
315
00:15:02,625 --> 00:15:04,623
Things like, "You guys
should upload more videos,"
316
00:15:04,625 --> 00:15:08,083
and, "When's your next show?"
And, "We want more."
317
00:15:08,125 --> 00:15:10,792
Let's give 'em more.
More?
318
00:15:10,834 --> 00:15:14,417
Okay, what are we
talking about here?
319
00:15:14,458 --> 00:15:18,083
Doing a web show,
online, every week.
320
00:15:18,125 --> 00:15:19,750
Why?
'Cause it can be
321
00:15:19,792 --> 00:15:22,250
whatever we want it to be,
no adults to say,
322
00:15:22,291 --> 00:15:24,417
"You can do this.
You can't do that."
323
00:15:24,458 --> 00:15:27,709
We can do whatever we want,
say whatever we want.
324
00:15:27,750 --> 00:15:31,458
Would it mean I have to do,
like, work and stuff?
325
00:15:31,500 --> 00:15:33,709
Well, if you're gonna do it,
you gotta prepare for it.
326
00:15:33,750 --> 00:15:35,709
Eh, then make it your show.
327
00:15:35,750 --> 00:15:37,333
You do the work,
I'll just show up
328
00:15:37,375 --> 00:15:39,083
and be your amusing little
sidekick.
329
00:15:40,625 --> 00:15:42,709
Wait, what's the show
gonna be about?
330
00:15:42,750 --> 00:15:46,375
Anything.
Something different every week.
331
00:15:46,417 --> 00:15:50,834
But for the first show,
kids with bizarro talents.
332
00:15:50,875 --> 00:15:52,333
Ah, clever.
333
00:15:52,375 --> 00:15:54,417
Miss Briggs says,
"No, no, no."
334
00:15:54,458 --> 00:15:57,333
We say, "Yeah, yeah, yeah."
335
00:15:57,375 --> 00:16:01,208
Hey, why don't you guys
call your show "iCarly."
336
00:16:01,250 --> 00:16:06,709
You know, "I," Internet,
"Carly," you.
337
00:16:06,750 --> 00:16:08,959
I like it.
ICarly's cool.
338
00:16:09,000 --> 00:16:13,375
And um, you're gonna need
a technical producer, right?
339
00:16:13,417 --> 00:16:17,125
To set up the lights, audio,
work the camera...
340
00:16:17,166 --> 00:16:21,625
Aw, he wants to be our geek.
341
00:16:21,667 --> 00:16:25,542
You got a big mouth, lady!
342
00:16:27,417 --> 00:16:30,500
Hey! Look what someone
just left in the dumpster.
343
00:16:30,542 --> 00:16:32,375
Isn't she amazing?!
344
00:16:34,000 --> 00:16:36,542
Hey, can we use the third
floor as kind of a TV studio?
345
00:16:36,583 --> 00:16:38,000
Well, I don't know...
Thanks!
346
00:16:38,041 --> 00:16:39,250
You rock.
Later!
347
00:16:39,291 --> 00:16:41,542
Wait, I didn't say...
Why do you... Okay, later!
348
00:16:43,083 --> 00:16:51,083
♪
349
00:16:52,208 --> 00:16:54,041
52 seconds!
350
00:16:55,625 --> 00:16:59,500
Sam, come on!
Sorry, I had to pee!
351
00:16:59,542 --> 00:17:00,667
You always have to pee.
352
00:17:00,709 --> 00:17:02,834
Well, it's either that
or I explode.
353
00:17:02,875 --> 00:17:05,458
45 seconds!
We're on our way up!
354
00:17:08,917 --> 00:17:09,709
You know what to do?
355
00:17:09,750 --> 00:17:11,375
Yes.
We sit together;
356
00:17:11,417 --> 00:17:12,792
me on the left,
you on the right.
357
00:17:12,834 --> 00:17:14,542
Camera opens on the sign,
pans down to me.
358
00:17:16,041 --> 00:17:17,959
We chat with all the kids
with weird talents.
359
00:17:18,000 --> 00:17:19,333
You got it?
I'm down.
360
00:17:22,458 --> 00:17:25,041
20 seconds.
Here we go.
361
00:17:25,083 --> 00:17:26,750
I look good?
Perfect. Me?
362
00:17:26,792 --> 00:17:28,583
Uh, well, you got
something in your teeth.
363
00:17:28,625 --> 00:17:31,125
What?! Get it out!
364
00:17:31,166 --> 00:17:33,542
Five! Four!
365
00:17:33,583 --> 00:17:35,709
Three! Two, and...
366
00:17:35,750 --> 00:17:38,041
Hey, there, people of Earth.
367
00:17:38,083 --> 00:17:39,041
I'm Carly Shay,
368
00:17:39,083 --> 00:17:40,403
and this is our very first
webcast
369
00:17:40,417 --> 00:17:42,667
of a little show we call iCarly.
370
00:17:42,709 --> 00:17:44,041
She's Carly.
She's Sam.
371
00:17:44,083 --> 00:17:46,041
Sam I am.
Carly, Sam.
372
00:17:46,083 --> 00:17:48,625
I think they're clear.
Demonstrate the thing.
373
00:17:48,667 --> 00:17:50,250
Oh, yeah! With this item,
374
00:17:50,291 --> 00:17:52,083
provided by our dorky friend,
Freddie...
375
00:17:52,125 --> 00:17:55,000
That's disrespectful!
376
00:17:55,041 --> 00:17:58,083
We can do this...
377
00:17:58,125 --> 00:18:00,333
and this.
378
00:18:00,375 --> 00:18:03,333
And this...
379
00:18:03,375 --> 00:18:07,667
♪
380
00:18:07,709 --> 00:18:09,291
Okay.
381
00:18:09,333 --> 00:18:10,790
Tonight, we're gonna show you
some kids
382
00:18:10,792 --> 00:18:12,250
with super insane talents.
383
00:18:12,291 --> 00:18:15,792
♪ Freak show! ♪
Stop it.
384
00:18:15,834 --> 00:18:17,434
Okay, this first kid
we're gonna show you
385
00:18:17,458 --> 00:18:19,792
can take a glass of milk...
This is so deliciously gross.
386
00:18:19,834 --> 00:18:21,542
Snort the milk up into his nose.
387
00:18:21,583 --> 00:18:22,750
It's the best thing ever.
388
00:18:22,792 --> 00:18:24,456
And make the milk
squirt out of his eyes.
389
00:18:24,458 --> 00:18:27,208
I wanna marry this boy!
Let's bring him out.
390
00:18:27,250 --> 00:18:29,208
Simon Kendall!
You're up, dude!
391
00:18:32,583 --> 00:18:34,417
Okay, Simon, you ready
to blow people away
392
00:18:34,458 --> 00:18:36,500
with your freakish talent?
Do it!
393
00:18:36,542 --> 00:18:37,959
Let's go.
Drum roll.
394
00:18:51,208 --> 00:18:54,417
Okay, this is insane!
Tell the people your name.
395
00:18:54,458 --> 00:18:57,083
Brennan Yubberly.
Yeah, Yubberly!
396
00:18:57,125 --> 00:18:58,250
Okay, any word you say,
397
00:18:58,291 --> 00:19:00,333
Brennan can say backwards
perfectly.
398
00:19:00,375 --> 00:19:02,625
He's a backwards talker.
Check this out.
399
00:19:02,667 --> 00:19:04,291
Ointment.
Tnenmtnio.
400
00:19:04,333 --> 00:19:06,542
Yes! Okay, uh,
slippery watermelon.
401
00:19:06,583 --> 00:19:08,000
Yreppils nolemretaw.
402
00:19:08,041 --> 00:19:10,291
Do you hear this?
We love this boy!
403
00:19:10,333 --> 00:19:12,709
Okay, okay! Say,
"I must be from planet Jupiter
404
00:19:12,750 --> 00:19:13,910
"because there's no other way
405
00:19:13,917 --> 00:19:15,417
I could be saying all this
backwards!"
406
00:19:15,458 --> 00:19:18,709
I tsum eb morf tenalp retipuJ
esuaceb s'ereht on rehto yaw
407
00:19:18,750 --> 00:19:21,417
I dluoc eb gniyas lla siht
sdrawkcab.
408
00:19:21,458 --> 00:19:23,959
Did you hear that?
409
00:19:24,000 --> 00:19:26,125
Insanity!
Ytinasni!
410
00:19:26,166 --> 00:19:27,542
That's enough, Brennan.
411
00:19:29,125 --> 00:19:32,125
Yeah! Great job!
Wonderful!
412
00:19:32,166 --> 00:19:36,000
Well, looking at that goat
made me hungry!
413
00:19:36,041 --> 00:19:38,081
Well, you can eat soon,
'cause the very first webcast
414
00:19:38,083 --> 00:19:40,667
of iCarly is almost over.
415
00:19:40,709 --> 00:19:42,333
No, no, don't be sad.
416
00:19:42,375 --> 00:19:44,709
We still got one more kid
with a weird talent. But first...
417
00:19:44,750 --> 00:19:46,190
Here's some stuff
you need to know.
418
00:19:46,208 --> 00:19:47,917
If you liked our show,
tell your friends.
419
00:19:47,959 --> 00:19:49,748
Your cousins, people you like.
People you hate.
420
00:19:49,750 --> 00:19:50,917
All people of this planet.
421
00:19:50,959 --> 00:19:52,625
That we're gonna be here,
live, online,
422
00:19:52,667 --> 00:19:54,542
every week at iCarly.com.
423
00:19:54,583 --> 00:19:55,792
In fact, next week,
424
00:19:55,834 --> 00:19:57,456
Carly's gonna take
my tonsils out right here.
425
00:19:57,458 --> 00:20:00,417
She's lying.
But how awesome would that be?
426
00:20:00,458 --> 00:20:02,792
Oh! And if you wanna
send us a video...
427
00:20:02,834 --> 00:20:04,709
Of you doing
or saying anything cool.
428
00:20:04,750 --> 00:20:06,333
Telling a joke, eating a bug.
429
00:20:06,375 --> 00:20:07,959
Just email the video clip to us.
430
00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:09,458
Carly and me.
Me and Sam.
431
00:20:09,500 --> 00:20:11,834
At iCarly.com
And if it's cool enough...
432
00:20:11,875 --> 00:20:13,542
We'll show it right here
on iCarly.
433
00:20:13,583 --> 00:20:15,875
Okay, our last freakishly
talented kid's name
434
00:20:15,917 --> 00:20:18,291
is Taryn James,
and she's about to play us out.
435
00:20:18,333 --> 00:20:20,959
With her trumpet.
But with a little extra twist.
436
00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:22,709
Hit the button.
Get out here, Taryn!
437
00:20:30,500 --> 00:20:33,792
♪ Will you look at that!
438
00:20:33,834 --> 00:20:36,083
It seems impossible.
That is so cool!
439
00:20:36,125 --> 00:20:39,291
I wish I could do that!
Come on, let's go!
440
00:20:39,333 --> 00:20:42,500
Yeah!
Well, thanks for watching!
441
00:20:42,542 --> 00:20:45,166
Yeah!
Tune in next time!
442
00:20:45,208 --> 00:20:48,208
Oh, my gosh!
This is so much fun!
443
00:20:48,250 --> 00:20:51,959
And we're clear!
Yes! We did it!
444
00:21:03,625 --> 00:21:05,750
Oh, here it is!
How many?
445
00:21:05,792 --> 00:21:09,750
37,000!
446
00:21:18,834 --> 00:21:21,667
Why are we happy?
447
00:21:21,709 --> 00:21:23,667
'Cause our very first
web show rocked!
448
00:21:23,709 --> 00:21:26,166
And was watched by over
37,000 people!
449
00:21:26,208 --> 00:21:28,500
Get out!
450
00:21:28,542 --> 00:21:32,333
My baby sister's a web star!
451
00:21:32,375 --> 00:21:34,750
Hey, we should have a party,
you know, to celebrate.
452
00:21:34,792 --> 00:21:36,456
Yeah, that'd be so cool.
That'd be so tight!
453
00:21:36,458 --> 00:21:39,083
Yes. Yes, we should.
454
00:21:39,125 --> 00:21:42,834
But it shouldn't be
a normal, regular party.
455
00:21:42,875 --> 00:21:44,792
Oh no.
456
00:21:44,834 --> 00:21:46,750
It needs to be something
different,
457
00:21:46,792 --> 00:21:51,834
something... wonderfully random.
458
00:21:51,875 --> 00:21:52,959
Crazy hat party?
459
00:21:54,333 --> 00:21:59,250
♪
460
00:21:59,291 --> 00:22:00,750
Hey, cupcake.
461
00:22:00,792 --> 00:22:04,000
There you are! Nice hat.
Back at ya.
462
00:22:05,208 --> 00:22:07,834
Hi. Um, can we get
your autographs?
463
00:22:07,875 --> 00:22:10,083
We love iCarly.
Your web show.
464
00:22:10,125 --> 00:22:12,333
Um, sure.
No prob.
465
00:22:17,750 --> 00:22:19,000
There you go.
466
00:22:19,041 --> 00:22:20,375
Thanks.
Sure.
467
00:22:20,417 --> 00:22:21,959
I love you, Carly!
468
00:22:26,041 --> 00:22:28,709
Wow.
I just signed an autograph.
469
00:22:28,750 --> 00:22:31,834
Get used to it.
ICarly's a great show.
470
00:22:31,875 --> 00:22:34,000
You might get famous.
471
00:22:34,041 --> 00:22:37,583
Yeah, I don't know
if I'm gonna like that.
472
00:22:37,625 --> 00:22:39,625
Hey.
473
00:22:39,667 --> 00:22:42,500
Saw your web show.
Pretty hot.
474
00:22:45,375 --> 00:22:49,083
Um, thanks.
Yeah, thanks a lot.
475
00:22:49,125 --> 00:22:52,375
So, you guys wanna dance?
Yes.
476
00:22:52,417 --> 00:22:54,500
Cool, let's do it.
477
00:22:54,542 --> 00:22:56,375
I'm gonna like it.
478
00:22:59,208 --> 00:23:02,917
Hey! Hey, stop that!
479
00:23:02,959 --> 00:23:05,875
Put her down!
She's not for you!
480
00:23:05,917 --> 00:23:10,709
Get off! How pitiful!
Who invited you?!
481
00:23:10,750 --> 00:23:15,375
♪
482
00:23:15,417 --> 00:23:16,417
Woo!
483
00:23:18,917 --> 00:23:26,917
♪
484
00:23:32,917 --> 00:23:34,500
Mmm.
34064
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