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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:08,260 --> 00:00:09,560 ♪ I'M GOING DOWN TO SOUTH PARK ♪ 2 00:00:09,560 --> 00:00:11,730 ♪ GONNA HAVE MYSELF A TIME ♪ 3 00:00:11,730 --> 00:00:13,030 ♪ FRIENDLY FACES EVERYWHERE ♪ 4 00:00:13,030 --> 00:00:14,760 ♪ HUMBLE FOLKS WITHOUT TEMPTATION ♪ 5 00:00:14,760 --> 00:00:16,060 ♪ GOING DOWN TO SOUTH PARK ♪ 6 00:00:16,070 --> 00:00:18,240 ♪ GONNA LEAVE MY WOES BEHIND ♪ 7 00:00:18,230 --> 00:00:19,530 ♪ AMPLE PARKING DAY OR NIGHT ♪ 8 00:00:19,540 --> 00:00:21,280 ♪ PEOPLE SPOUTING "HOWDY NEIGHBOR" ♪ 9 00:00:21,270 --> 00:00:22,570 ♪ HEADIN' ON UP TO SOUTH PARK ♪ 10 00:00:22,570 --> 00:00:24,740 ♪ GONNA SEE IF I CAN'T UNWIND ♪ 11 00:00:24,740 --> 00:00:28,210 ♪ TIM-TMAH TIM-MAH, TIM-MAH TIM-MAH TIMMY TIM-MAH ♪ 12 00:00:28,210 --> 00:00:29,510 ♪ SO COME ON DOWN TO SOUTH PARK ♪ 13 00:00:29,510 --> 00:00:32,110 ♪ AND MEET SOME FRIENDS OF MINE ♪ 14 00:00:38,190 --> 00:00:40,360 THROW IT AWAY, CLYDE. 15 00:00:40,360 --> 00:00:41,660 I'M NOT GONNA TOUCH IT. YOU THROW IT AWAY. 16 00:00:41,660 --> 00:00:42,960 WHAT'S GOING ON ? 17 00:00:42,960 --> 00:00:44,690 SOME HIGH-SCHOOLERS LEFT A MARIJUANA CIGARETTE BEHIND. 18 00:00:44,690 --> 00:00:45,990 WE HAVE TO THROW IT AWAY BEFORE SOME KIDS FIND IT OR SOMETHING. 19 00:00:46,000 --> 00:00:47,310 SO THROW IT AWAY. 20 00:00:47,300 --> 00:00:49,030 NOBODY WANTS TO TOUCH IT. 21 00:00:49,030 --> 00:00:50,330 WHAT IF THE RESIDUE GETS ON OUR HANDS 22 00:00:50,330 --> 00:00:52,500 AND IT LEADS TO HARDER DRUGS LIKE THOSE COMMERCIALS SAY ? 23 00:00:52,500 --> 00:00:53,370 YEAH, DIDN'T YOU SEE THAT COMMERCIAL WHERE IT SAYS 24 00:00:53,370 --> 00:00:55,970 IF YOU HAVE POT YOU CAN BECOME A TERRORIST ? 25 00:00:55,970 --> 00:00:57,270 AND THE COMMERCIAL WHERE TWO KIDS HAVE POT 26 00:00:57,270 --> 00:00:58,140 AND THE ONE KID SHOOTS THE OTHER. 27 00:00:58,140 --> 00:00:59,440 HARMLESS ? 28 00:00:59,440 --> 00:01:01,180 YOU GUYS, THOSE COMMERCIALS ARE JUST EXAGGERATIONS. 29 00:01:01,180 --> 00:01:02,480 HOW DO YOU KNOW ? 30 00:01:02,480 --> 00:01:03,340 NONE OF US HAVE EVER HAD ANY DRUGS BEFORE. 31 00:01:03,350 --> 00:01:06,390 WELL, I DID ECSTASY ONCE. 32 00:01:06,380 --> 00:01:07,680 ME AND MY GIRLFRIEND TOOK IT, 33 00:01:07,680 --> 00:01:10,720 AND WE STAYED UP ALL NIGHT HAVING S-S-SEX. 34 00:01:10,720 --> 00:01:12,020 WHERE DID YOU HAVE SEX WITH HER ? 35 00:01:12,020 --> 00:01:17,230 IN HER V-V-VAGINA. 36 00:01:18,090 --> 00:01:19,830 THANK YOU, THANK YOU. 37 00:01:19,830 --> 00:01:21,560 WHAT A TERRIFIC AUDIENCE. 38 00:01:21,560 --> 00:01:23,300 IT'S JUST A STUPID PLANT THAT MAKES YOU DUMB. 39 00:01:23,300 --> 00:01:24,170 TOUCHING IT WON'T HURT YOU. 40 00:01:24,170 --> 00:01:26,770 THEN YOU THROW IT AWAY, SMARTASS. 41 00:01:26,770 --> 00:01:28,500 FINE, I WILL. 42 00:01:33,710 --> 00:01:35,010 THERE-- SEE ? I TOUCHED MARIJUANA-- 43 00:01:35,010 --> 00:01:36,740 I'M NOT A TERRORIST, I DIDN'T SHOOT ANYBODY 44 00:01:36,750 --> 00:01:38,490 AND I DON'T FEEL LIKE DOING MORE DRUGS NOW. 45 00:01:38,480 --> 00:01:39,780 NO BIG DEAL. 46 00:01:44,120 --> 00:01:46,720 You kids don't around 47 00:01:46,720 --> 00:01:47,590 with your mom ! 48 00:01:47,590 --> 00:01:49,320 Dad, we can't ! 49 00:01:49,330 --> 00:01:50,640 The 50 00:01:50,630 --> 00:01:52,790 STAN, WHAT'D I TELL YOU ABOUT WATCHING "THE OSBOURNES" ? 51 00:01:52,800 --> 00:01:53,670 OH, COME ON, MOM ! 52 00:01:53,660 --> 00:01:56,260 IT'S GOING TO MAKE YOU RETARDED ! 53 00:01:56,270 --> 00:01:57,580 IT'S JUST A SHOW ! 54 00:01:57,570 --> 00:01:59,300 IT DOESN'T HAVE ANY EFFECT ON ME 55 00:01:59,300 --> 00:02:00,600 FOR 'S SAKE ! 56 00:02:00,600 --> 00:02:01,900 OH GOODIE, NOW WE CAN WATCH THE NEWS. 57 00:02:01,900 --> 00:02:04,070 In other news, South Park police are still looking for 58 00:02:04,070 --> 00:02:05,810 a crazy man who terrorized the town one hour ago. 59 00:02:05,810 --> 00:02:08,840 The man claimed to be from the future 60 00:02:08,850 --> 00:02:10,590 and ran naked through the city streets, 61 00:02:10,580 --> 00:02:12,310 screaming, "The past ! The past ! 62 00:02:12,320 --> 00:02:13,630 Oh my god, it's the past !" 63 00:02:13,620 --> 00:02:17,090 Which is what one would expect someone from the future to yell. 64 00:02:20,990 --> 00:02:22,290 OH MY GOD, IT'S THE PAST ! 65 00:02:22,290 --> 00:02:26,190 OH WHOA, MAN, IT'S YOU ! 66 00:02:26,200 --> 00:02:27,070 WHO ARE YOU ? 67 00:02:27,060 --> 00:02:29,230 IT'S ME, MOM, YOUR SON, STAN ! 68 00:02:33,140 --> 00:02:34,450 WHO IS IT, SHARON ? 69 00:02:34,440 --> 00:02:35,300 DAD ! 70 00:02:35,300 --> 00:02:36,600 DAD ? 71 00:02:36,610 --> 00:02:38,350 LOOK, WE DON'T KNOW YOU AND YOU DON'T KNOW US. 72 00:02:38,340 --> 00:02:39,210 JUST GO AWAY BEFORE WE CALL THE POLICE. 73 00:02:39,210 --> 00:02:41,380 WHO THE IS IT, MOM AND DAD ? 74 00:02:41,380 --> 00:02:43,980 NO WAY, IT'S ME FROM THE PAST ! 75 00:02:43,980 --> 00:02:44,410 I'M ME FROM THE PAST ? 76 00:02:44,410 --> 00:02:47,020 NO, I'M YOU FROM THE FUTURE. 77 00:02:47,020 --> 00:02:48,320 OH MAN, THIS IS SO MESSED UP. 78 00:02:48,320 --> 00:02:50,920 OKAY, WE'VE HAD ENOUGH. 79 00:02:50,920 --> 00:02:51,790 YOUR NAME'S RANDY MARSH. 80 00:02:51,790 --> 00:02:54,390 YOU'RE A GEOLOGIST AND YOU DON'T LIKE CHICKEN. 81 00:02:54,390 --> 00:02:56,120 MOM, YOUR MAIDEN NAME IS KIMBLE 82 00:02:56,130 --> 00:02:57,440 AND YOU HAVE A SCAR ON YOUR LEFT KNEE 83 00:02:57,430 --> 00:02:59,160 FROM WHEN YOU SLIPPED AT THE SWIMMING POOL ! 84 00:02:59,160 --> 00:03:00,900 RANDY, WHAT'S GOING ON ? 85 00:03:00,900 --> 00:03:03,500 I DON'T KNOW. 86 00:03:03,500 --> 00:03:05,230 DUDE, JUST LET ME TALK TO YOU FOR LIKE FIVE MINUTES. 87 00:03:05,230 --> 00:03:07,840 AFTER THAT, I'LL BAIL. 88 00:03:10,440 --> 00:03:13,040 I CAN STILL REMEMBER WHEN I WAS FIVE 89 00:03:13,040 --> 00:03:16,510 AND YOU BOTH FOUND THAT SQUIRREL I'D BEEN KEEPING IN THE CLOSET, 90 00:03:16,510 --> 00:03:18,250 AND YOU LET ME KEEP IT FOR ANOTHER WEEK, 91 00:03:18,250 --> 00:03:19,550 AND THEN IT RAN AWAY. 92 00:03:19,550 --> 00:03:20,420 BUT THAT'S WHAT YOU TOLD ME, 93 00:03:20,420 --> 00:03:22,150 I KNEW MOM HAD ACTUALLY LET IT OUT. 94 00:03:22,150 --> 00:03:24,320 HOW COULD HE POSSIBLY KNOW ALL THAT ? 95 00:03:24,320 --> 00:03:28,220 UNLESS-- HE IS OUR SON FROM THE FUTURE. 96 00:03:28,220 --> 00:03:30,390 BUT WHY ARE YOU BACK IN THIS TIME WITH US, SON ? 97 00:03:30,390 --> 00:03:32,990 I HAVE NO IDEA, MAN, I WAS JUST ABOUT TO GO TO SLEEP 98 00:03:33,000 --> 00:03:35,610 IN AN ALLEY BEHIND THE CRACK HOUSE. 99 00:03:35,600 --> 00:03:36,900 I HAD SHOT UP A LITTLE HEROIN, 100 00:03:36,900 --> 00:03:39,070 AND THEN THIS ELECTRICAL STORM STARTED. 101 00:03:39,070 --> 00:03:42,100 THE NEXT THING I KNEW I WAS RUNNING AROUND IN MY OWN PAST, MAN. 102 00:03:42,110 --> 00:03:44,280 I THOUGHT I WAS JUST TRIPPING, 103 00:03:44,270 --> 00:03:46,010 BUT THEN I CAME DOWN AND I WAS STILL HERE ! 104 00:03:46,010 --> 00:03:49,480 OH DUDE, IT'S SO BIZARRE ! 105 00:03:49,480 --> 00:03:51,650 OH DUDE, I SHOULD'VE NEVER TOUCHED THAT MARIJUANA. 106 00:03:51,650 --> 00:03:53,380 STAN, WHATEVER HAS HAPPENED, WE'RE GOING TO HELP YOU. 107 00:03:53,380 --> 00:03:55,120 THAT'S RIGHT. 108 00:03:55,120 --> 00:03:57,290 WE'RE A FAMILY, NO MATTER WHAT TIME SHIFT. 109 00:03:57,290 --> 00:03:59,020 THANKS. COULD I GET ANOTHER BEER ? 110 00:03:59,020 --> 00:04:00,320 YOU MUST BE EXHAUSTED. 111 00:04:00,320 --> 00:04:01,190 WHY DON'T YOU GET SOME SLEEP ? 112 00:04:01,190 --> 00:04:02,490 THAT'D BE KILLER. 113 00:04:02,490 --> 00:04:03,790 WHERE CAN I CRASH ? 114 00:04:03,790 --> 00:04:05,960 WELL, I'M SURE STAN WOULDN'T MIND SHARING HIS ROOM. 115 00:04:05,960 --> 00:04:09,000 WHAT ?! I HAVE TO SHARE MY ROOM WITH MY FUTURE SELF ? 116 00:04:09,000 --> 00:04:10,300 OH, NO ! 117 00:04:10,730 --> 00:04:13,330 ♪ HERE WE ARE FACE TO FACE ♪ 118 00:04:13,340 --> 00:04:15,510 ♪ MY FUTURE SELF N' ME ♪ 119 00:04:15,510 --> 00:04:16,380 STOP IT. 120 00:04:16,370 --> 00:04:17,670 ♪ SO MUCH ALIKE AND YET SO DIFFERENT ♪ 121 00:04:17,670 --> 00:04:20,280 ♪ ONE OF US MESSY THE OTHER ONE CLEAN ♪ 122 00:04:20,280 --> 00:04:22,010 ♪ GETTIN' ALONG ISN'T ALWAYS EASY ♪ 123 00:04:22,010 --> 00:04:22,880 ♪ SOMETIMES WE DISAGREE ♪ 124 00:04:22,880 --> 00:04:24,610 QUIT IT. 125 00:04:24,610 --> 00:04:26,780 ♪ BUT IN THE END WE KNOW WE'RE GOOD FOR EACH OTHER ♪ 126 00:04:26,780 --> 00:04:30,250 ♪ TWO PEAS IN A POD FUTURE SELF N' ME ♪ 127 00:04:30,250 --> 00:04:32,420 ♪ FUTURE SELF N' ME ♪ 128 00:04:32,420 --> 00:04:35,020 ♪ FUTURE SELF N'... ♪ 129 00:04:35,020 --> 00:04:37,630 ♪ NNNNN' ME ♪ 130 00:04:38,930 --> 00:04:40,230 HEY GUYS. HEY. 131 00:04:40,230 --> 00:04:41,530 WHOA ! KYLE AND CARTMAN ! 132 00:04:41,530 --> 00:04:43,260 SO COOL TO SEE YOU GUYS ! 133 00:04:43,270 --> 00:04:44,140 WHO'S THIS ASSHOLE ? 134 00:04:44,130 --> 00:04:45,430 THIS IS MY FUTURE SELF. 135 00:04:45,430 --> 00:04:47,170 HE CAME DURING THE ELECTRICAL STORM LAST NIGHT, 136 00:04:47,170 --> 00:04:47,600 AND IS CAUGHT IN A TIME MATRIX. 137 00:04:47,600 --> 00:04:49,340 HE'S ME WHEN I'M 32. 138 00:04:49,340 --> 00:04:50,640 WOW, THAT'S PRETTY COOL. 139 00:04:50,640 --> 00:04:51,940 BUT HOW DOES HE KNOW OUR NAMES ? 140 00:04:51,940 --> 00:04:53,240 'CAUSE, R-TARD, HE'S STAN FROM THE FUTURE ! 141 00:04:53,240 --> 00:04:54,540 HE KNOWS EVERYTHING STAN KNOWS. 142 00:04:54,540 --> 00:04:55,840 OHHH. 143 00:04:55,850 --> 00:04:57,590 WAIT-- STAN BECOMES THIS DOUCHE BAG ? 144 00:04:57,580 --> 00:05:00,620 YEAH, I SPENT A LOT OF MY TEENAGE YEARS ON A SLOW, 145 00:05:00,620 --> 00:05:03,650 DOWNWARD SPIRAL EXPERIMENTING WITH DRUGS AND ALCOHOL. 146 00:05:03,650 --> 00:05:05,390 HA HA AHAAA ! HAA AHAAA HAAA ! 147 00:05:05,390 --> 00:05:06,250 SHUT UP, CARTMAN ! 148 00:05:06,260 --> 00:05:08,000 THAT IS SO AWESOME ! 149 00:05:07,990 --> 00:05:11,460 THANK YOU, GOD ! OH, PRAISE GOD ! 150 00:05:11,460 --> 00:05:12,330 HEY, WHAT HAPPENS TO ME IN THE FUTURE ? 151 00:05:12,330 --> 00:05:14,500 OH, I DON'T KNOW. 152 00:05:14,500 --> 00:05:16,660 YOU GUYS STAYED AWAY FROM DRUGS SO YOU WERE OKAY. 153 00:05:16,670 --> 00:05:17,980 I JUST LOST TOUCH WITH YOU 154 00:05:17,970 --> 00:05:20,570 AFTER I WAS SENT TO JUVIE HALL IN 2006. 155 00:05:20,570 --> 00:05:22,740 JUVIE HALL ! HA HAHAHA ! 156 00:05:22,740 --> 00:05:25,770 STAN'S A LOSER ! STAN'S A LOSER ! 157 00:05:25,780 --> 00:05:26,220 GOD DAMMIT. 158 00:05:28,810 --> 00:05:30,980 THANKS FOR STAYING AFTER SCHOOL AND TUTORING ME, BUTTERS. 159 00:05:30,980 --> 00:05:32,280 WELL, SURE THING, STAN. 160 00:05:32,280 --> 00:05:34,020 BUT HOW COME YOU CARE ABOUT SCHOOLWORK ALL OF A SUDDEN ? 161 00:05:34,020 --> 00:05:36,620 I TOLD YOU, I CAN'T STAND MY FUTURE SELF ! 162 00:05:36,620 --> 00:05:38,350 I HAVE TO DO WHATEVER I CAN TO NOT BECOME A LOSER LIKE HIM. 163 00:05:38,350 --> 00:05:40,520 WELL, STUDYING IS THE GOLDEN KEY 164 00:05:40,520 --> 00:05:41,820 TO THE IMPOSING DOOR OF SUCCESS. 165 00:05:41,820 --> 00:05:44,430 I JUST CAN'T STAND HAVING MY FUTURE SELF AROUND ALL THE TIME. 166 00:05:44,430 --> 00:05:45,290 IT'S DRIVING ME CRAZY ! 167 00:05:45,290 --> 00:05:46,590 MAYBE IF I GET SMARTER I WON'T BECOME HIM 168 00:05:46,600 --> 00:05:48,340 AND I WON'T HAVE TO SHARE MY ROOM ! 169 00:05:48,330 --> 00:05:49,630 I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN. 170 00:05:49,630 --> 00:05:50,930 I HATE HAVING MY FUTURE SELF AROUND TOO ! 171 00:05:50,930 --> 00:05:53,100 YEAH, IT'S LIKE EVERYTHING I DO, HE-- 172 00:05:53,100 --> 00:05:54,400 WAIT A MINUTE-- WHAT DID YOU SAY ? 173 00:05:54,400 --> 00:05:55,700 I SAID I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL. 174 00:05:55,710 --> 00:05:57,450 MY LIFE HAS GONE COMPLETELY DOWNHILL 175 00:05:57,440 --> 00:05:58,310 EVER SINCE MY FUTURE SELF MOVED IN. 176 00:05:58,310 --> 00:06:00,040 I HATE HIM. 177 00:06:00,040 --> 00:06:01,780 ALL HE EVER WANTS TO DO IS WATCH "BECKER". 178 00:06:01,780 --> 00:06:03,510 AND THAT SHOW IS SO STUPID. 179 00:06:03,950 --> 00:06:06,550 DUDE, HOW LONG HAS YOUR FUTURE SELF BEEN AROUND ? 180 00:06:06,550 --> 00:06:09,150 OH, I GUESS IT'S BEEN ABOUT FOUR MONTHS NOW. 181 00:06:09,150 --> 00:06:10,020 FOUR MONTHS ?! 182 00:06:10,020 --> 00:06:11,320 AND YOU NEVER TOLD ANYBODY YOU WERE LIVING WITH 183 00:06:11,320 --> 00:06:12,190 YOURSELF FROM THE FUTURE ?! 184 00:06:12,190 --> 00:06:13,050 NOBODY ASKED. 185 00:06:13,060 --> 00:06:15,670 WHERE IS HE NOW ? 186 00:06:15,660 --> 00:06:17,390 PROBABLY WATCHING "BECKER". 187 00:06:19,130 --> 00:06:19,560 My name is T. Becker. 188 00:06:19,560 --> 00:06:21,300 The "T" stands for "Terrific". 189 00:06:21,300 --> 00:06:22,160 HA HA HA ! 190 00:06:22,160 --> 00:06:25,630 SEE, HERE HE IS-- FUTURE BUTTERS. 191 00:06:25,640 --> 00:06:27,380 FUTURE SELF, THIS IS MY GOOD FRIEND-- 192 00:06:27,370 --> 00:06:29,540 STAN ! SURE I REMEMBER YOU ! 193 00:06:29,540 --> 00:06:31,710 YUP, WEARING THAT PUFFBALL HAT LIKE ALWAYS ! 194 00:06:31,710 --> 00:06:33,010 OH, HELLO, BOYS. 195 00:06:33,010 --> 00:06:35,180 FUTURE BUTTERS, IT'S TIME TO TAKE YOUR LIVER MEDICINE. 196 00:06:35,180 --> 00:06:36,480 LIVER MEDICINE ? 197 00:06:36,480 --> 00:06:37,780 YEAH, MY FUTURE SELF HAS A BAD KIDNEY 198 00:06:37,780 --> 00:06:39,080 FROM ALL THE DRINKING HE DID IN HIGH SCHOOL. 199 00:06:39,080 --> 00:06:41,250 I NEED TO LEARN TO BEHAVE MYSELF. 200 00:06:43,850 --> 00:06:46,020 HEY, WHERE ARE YOU GOING, STAN ? 201 00:06:47,760 --> 00:06:49,490 ALRIGHT, WHERE'S THAT SON OF A BITCH'S WALLET ? 202 00:06:49,490 --> 00:06:51,660 WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR, HUH, STAN ? 203 00:06:51,660 --> 00:06:53,390 BUTTERS, DON'T YOU THINK IT'S A LITTLE BIT OF A COINCIDENCE 204 00:06:53,400 --> 00:06:55,140 THAT BOTH YOUR FUTURE SELF AND MY FUTURE SELF 205 00:06:55,130 --> 00:06:57,300 GOT CAUGHT IN A "MATRIX-ANX" TIME PLANE ? 206 00:06:57,300 --> 00:06:59,470 WELL, WE BOTH GOT THE SAME TEACHER FOR HOMEROOM, TOO. 207 00:06:59,470 --> 00:07:00,770 YOU DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING THEN. 208 00:07:00,770 --> 00:07:01,640 HERE IT IS. 209 00:07:01,640 --> 00:07:03,370 THERE HAS TO BE SOMETHING-- 210 00:07:03,370 --> 00:07:06,410 WAIT, WHAT'S THIS ? THIS EXPIRES IN 2002. 211 00:07:06,410 --> 00:07:07,280 WHY WOULD HE HAVE THIS IN HIS WALLET ? 212 00:07:07,280 --> 00:07:08,580 I DON'T FOLLOW. 213 00:07:08,580 --> 00:07:10,310 3451 COLFAX AVENUE. 214 00:07:10,310 --> 00:07:11,610 COME ON, BUTTERS ! 215 00:07:11,610 --> 00:07:13,780 OOH, ARE WE OFF ON AN ADVENTURE ?! 216 00:07:19,860 --> 00:07:22,900 HERE IT IS-- MOTIVATIONCORP. 217 00:07:25,490 --> 00:07:27,230 I DON'T THINK WE'RE SUPPOSED TO GO IN THERE, STAN. 218 00:07:27,230 --> 00:07:28,960 MAYBE WE SHOULD GO ADVENTURING SOMEWHERE ELSE. 219 00:07:28,970 --> 00:07:30,270 BUTTERS, PART OF BEING ON AN ADVENTURE 220 00:07:30,270 --> 00:07:32,880 IS YOU GO PLACES YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO ! 221 00:07:32,870 --> 00:07:33,730 OH ! 222 00:07:33,740 --> 00:07:35,910 WELL, YOU'RE GOOD AT ADVENTURIN', HUH, STAN ? 223 00:07:43,280 --> 00:07:45,450 WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE ? 224 00:07:45,450 --> 00:07:46,750 AND IT SHOULD TAKE ABOUT A MONTH 225 00:07:46,750 --> 00:07:47,620 TO ACHIEVE THE RESULTS YOU WANT. 226 00:07:47,620 --> 00:07:49,780 WELL, MR. AND MRS. BROOKS, 227 00:07:49,790 --> 00:07:52,400 I THINK YOU'RE GONNA BE VERY PLEASED WITH THE RESULTS. 228 00:07:52,390 --> 00:07:53,690 WE SURE HOPE SO. 229 00:07:53,690 --> 00:07:56,290 WE JUST DON'T KNOW HOW TO TALK TO OUR SON ABOUT DRUGS. 230 00:07:56,290 --> 00:07:57,590 WELL, NOW YOU WON'T HAVE TO. 231 00:07:57,590 --> 00:07:58,890 AH, HERE HE IS. 232 00:07:58,890 --> 00:07:59,760 THIS IS JOSH CASHNER, 233 00:07:59,760 --> 00:08:01,060 HE'LL BE PLAYING THE ROLE OF YOUR FUTURE SON. 234 00:08:01,060 --> 00:08:04,100 NICE TO MEET YOU-- "MOM AND DAD" ! 235 00:08:05,840 --> 00:08:08,010 MY GOODNESS, HE DOES LOOK A LITTLE LIKE KEVIN. 236 00:08:08,000 --> 00:08:10,170 YES, AND HE KNOWS ALL YOUR FAMILY HISTORY 237 00:08:10,170 --> 00:08:11,470 AND EVERY DETAIL OF YOUR HOUSE. 238 00:08:11,470 --> 00:08:14,510 AND, HE'S WORKED UP QUITE A FUTURE FOR YOUR SON ! 239 00:08:14,510 --> 00:08:16,680 I'M GOING TO TELL HIM THAT I DROPPED OUT OF SCHOOL 240 00:08:16,680 --> 00:08:18,410 AND WENT TO PRISON FOR EIGHT YEARS 241 00:08:18,410 --> 00:08:19,710 WHERE I WAS SODOMIZED ! 242 00:08:19,720 --> 00:08:21,030 IN THE ASS ! 243 00:08:21,020 --> 00:08:23,180 OOH-HOO, THAT SHOULD GET KEVIN TO STAY CLEAR OF DRUGS. 244 00:08:23,190 --> 00:08:24,500 IT SURE SHOULD ! 245 00:08:24,490 --> 00:08:27,520 ALRIGHT, SO WE'LL PUT THE FAKE NEWS REPORT OUT ON TUESDAY NIGHT-- 246 00:08:27,520 --> 00:08:29,690 MAKE SURE YOUR SON IS WATCHING THE CHANNEL FOUR NEWS. 247 00:08:29,690 --> 00:08:32,290 OH, AND THAT'S WHEN YOU FAKE THE ELECTRICAL STORM AS WELL ? 248 00:08:32,290 --> 00:08:34,460 MOTIVATIONCORP TAKES CARE OF EVERYTHING. 249 00:08:34,460 --> 00:08:36,200 JUST FOLLOW THESE SIMPLE SCRIPTS WHEN YOUR ACTOR ARRIVES. 250 00:08:36,200 --> 00:08:38,800 "LISTEN TO ME, YOU CRAZY PERSON. 251 00:08:38,800 --> 00:08:41,840 THERE'S NO WAY YOU CAN BE FROM THE FUTURE." 252 00:08:41,840 --> 00:08:43,570 OOH ! THIS IS GOING TO BE FUN ! 253 00:08:43,570 --> 00:08:45,310 I CAN'T BELIEVE IT, IT'S ALL A SCAM ! 254 00:08:45,310 --> 00:08:46,610 YEAH, I CAN'T BELIEVE IT ! 255 00:08:46,610 --> 00:08:48,340 THEY'VE ALL BEEN LYING TO US THIS WHOLE TIME ! 256 00:08:48,340 --> 00:08:49,640 THIS WHOLE TIME ! 257 00:08:49,650 --> 00:08:53,120 I WONDER IF MY FUTURE SELF KNOWS ANYTHING ABOUT THIS. 258 00:08:55,720 --> 00:08:57,020 HEY, MAYBE MY FUTURE SELF REMEMBERS THIS HAPPENING 259 00:08:57,020 --> 00:08:59,620 AND CAN SHED SOME LIGHT ON THE SUBJECT. 260 00:08:59,620 --> 00:09:00,490 BUTTERS, DON'T YOU GET IT ?! 261 00:09:00,490 --> 00:09:01,790 THOSE ASSHOLES AREN'T OUR FUTURE SELVES, 262 00:09:01,790 --> 00:09:03,960 OUR PARENTS HIRED THEM TO MAKE US MORE MOTIVATED ! 263 00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:06,130 BUT THEN WHY DID THEY COME BACK TO THE PAST ? 264 00:09:06,130 --> 00:09:08,730 THEY DIDN'T COME BACK TO THE PAST, YOU DUMBASS ! 265 00:09:08,730 --> 00:09:09,160 THEY'RE ACTORS ! 266 00:09:09,170 --> 00:09:11,780 OH. 267 00:09:11,770 --> 00:09:12,630 OHH... 268 00:09:12,640 --> 00:09:14,380 BUT THAT'S LIKE THEY'RE LYING. 269 00:09:14,370 --> 00:09:15,240 IT IS LYING, BUTTERS. 270 00:09:15,240 --> 00:09:17,410 YOUR PARENTS LIED TO YOU AND MY PARENTS LIED TO ME ! 271 00:09:17,410 --> 00:09:18,270 GET IT ?! 272 00:09:18,270 --> 00:09:20,010 OOH, THAT MAKES ME ANGRY. 273 00:09:20,010 --> 00:09:23,480 WHY, IF PROFESSOR CHAOS WERE HERE HE WOULD MAKE EVERYONE PAY ! 274 00:09:23,480 --> 00:09:24,780 WHO'S THAT ? 275 00:09:24,780 --> 00:09:25,650 YOU KNOW, PROFESSOR CHAOS-- 276 00:09:25,650 --> 00:09:26,950 BRINGER OF DESTRUCTION AND DISORDER ! 277 00:09:26,950 --> 00:09:27,820 WHAT ? 278 00:09:27,820 --> 00:09:29,120 FOLLOW ME BACK HOME, STAN. 279 00:09:29,120 --> 00:09:32,590 IT'S TIME I LET YOU IN ON A HORRIBLE SECRET. 280 00:09:34,760 --> 00:09:36,060 WAIT RIGHT HERE, STAN. 281 00:09:36,060 --> 00:09:38,230 I WARN YOU, YOU MAY NOT LIKE WHAT YOU'RE ABOUT TO SEE. 282 00:09:40,400 --> 00:09:41,710 WE HAVE TO TEACH OUR PARENTS A LESSON. 283 00:09:41,700 --> 00:09:43,000 SHOW THEM THEY CAN'T JUST PLAY WITH OUR EMOTIONS LIKE THAT. 284 00:09:43,000 --> 00:09:46,470 HA HA HA HAAAA ! 285 00:09:46,470 --> 00:09:49,070 NOW YOU KNOW MY TERRIBLE SECRET ! 286 00:09:49,070 --> 00:09:50,810 YOU'RE GAY ? 287 00:09:50,810 --> 00:09:52,110 THAT'S FINE IF YOU'RE GAY, BUTTERS, I DON'T CARE. 288 00:09:52,110 --> 00:09:53,840 HUH ? 289 00:09:53,840 --> 00:09:54,710 NO, I'M PROFESSOR CHAOS. 290 00:09:54,710 --> 00:09:56,440 WE HAVE TO TEACH OUR PARENTS A LESSON, BUTTERS ! 291 00:09:56,450 --> 00:09:57,760 WE'RE RUNNING AWAY ! 292 00:09:57,750 --> 00:09:59,910 HELP ME FIND THE PERFECT PLACE TO RUN AWAY TO ! 293 00:10:00,350 --> 00:10:03,380 MMM... MAYBE I USED A LITTLE TOO MUCH SILVER. 294 00:10:07,260 --> 00:10:09,000 HOW ABOUT THIS-- WINTER PARK. 295 00:10:08,990 --> 00:10:09,420 IT LOOKS KINDA NICE. 296 00:10:09,430 --> 00:10:11,600 NO, WE GOTTA RUN AWAY SOMEWHERE WARM. 297 00:10:11,590 --> 00:10:13,330 OH, LOOK AT THIS, STAN. 298 00:10:13,330 --> 00:10:14,630 "ARE YOU SICK OF YOUR PARENTS ? 299 00:10:14,630 --> 00:10:16,360 "DO YOU WANT REVENGE FOR SOMETHING THEY'VE DONE TO YOU ? 300 00:10:16,370 --> 00:10:18,980 "CALL THE PARENTAL REVENGE CENTER OF WESTERN AMERICA 301 00:10:18,970 --> 00:10:20,270 "FOR A FREE CONSULTATION. 302 00:10:20,270 --> 00:10:22,440 RESULTS GUARANTEED." 303 00:10:22,440 --> 00:10:23,300 DUDE, I DIDN'T KNOW THERE WAS SUCH A THING ! 304 00:10:23,310 --> 00:10:26,780 HEY LOOK, SOMEBODY LOST THEIR CAT. 305 00:10:26,780 --> 00:10:28,950 UH, HI, IS THIS THE PARENTAL REVENGE CENTER 306 00:10:28,940 --> 00:10:29,810 OF WESTERN AMERICA ? 307 00:10:29,810 --> 00:10:31,110 UH, I'M REALLY PISSED OFF AT MY PARENTS 308 00:10:31,110 --> 00:10:33,280 AND I WANT TO IMPOSE SWIFT AND HORRIBLE REVENGE UPON THEM ? 309 00:10:33,280 --> 00:10:34,150 LOOK, YOU CAN MAKE YOUR WIENER BIGGER 310 00:10:34,150 --> 00:10:35,880 IN JUST THREE WEEKS. 311 00:10:35,890 --> 00:10:37,190 OH REALLY ? 312 00:10:37,190 --> 00:10:38,930 OKAY, WHERE ARE YOU LOCATED, PLEASE ? 313 00:10:38,920 --> 00:10:41,520 GREAT, UM, CAN I COME BY TOMORROW ? 314 00:10:41,520 --> 00:10:43,690 THIS LADY WILL COME AND MASSAGE YOUR WIENER FOR $95. 315 00:10:43,690 --> 00:10:44,990 WELL, THAT'S A PRETTY GOOD DEAL. 316 00:10:44,990 --> 00:10:45,860 11:00 IS GREAT, THANK YOU. 317 00:10:45,860 --> 00:10:47,160 THAT WAS EASY ! 318 00:10:47,160 --> 00:10:48,460 I JUST HAVE TO GO TO THEIR OFFICE 319 00:10:48,460 --> 00:10:50,200 AND THEY'LL HELP ME FIGURE OUT HOW TO GET BACK AT MY PARENTS. 320 00:10:50,200 --> 00:10:52,370 HEY, I WANNA GET REVENGE ON MY DOUCHE BAG PARENTS TOO ! 321 00:10:52,370 --> 00:10:53,670 FINE, THEN YOU CAN COME WITH ME. 322 00:10:53,670 --> 00:10:54,540 HOORAY ! 323 00:10:54,540 --> 00:10:55,840 AND THEN WE CAN MAKE OUR WIENERS BIGGER 324 00:10:55,840 --> 00:10:57,570 AND HAVE A LADY MASSAGE 'EM. 325 00:11:03,650 --> 00:11:04,960 I GUESS THIS IS IT. 326 00:11:08,420 --> 00:11:09,720 UH, HELLO ? 327 00:11:09,720 --> 00:11:11,890 WE'RE HERE ABOUT REVENGE ON OUR PARENTS ? 328 00:11:11,890 --> 00:11:12,320 YES, COME IN, PLEASE. 329 00:11:12,320 --> 00:11:14,490 CARTMAN ?! 330 00:11:14,490 --> 00:11:16,220 OH, STAN, BUTTERS, I DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS YOU GUYS. 331 00:11:16,230 --> 00:11:17,540 WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE ? 332 00:11:17,530 --> 00:11:19,690 I'M RUNNING A BUSINESS, STAN, ARE YOU MY 11:00 ? 333 00:11:19,700 --> 00:11:21,440 YOU'RE THE PARENTAL REVENGE CENTER OF WESTERN AMERICA ? 334 00:11:21,430 --> 00:11:24,030 GOD DAMMIT, I KNEW THIS WAS TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE. 335 00:11:24,030 --> 00:11:24,900 COME ON, BUTTERS, LET'S GO ! 336 00:11:24,900 --> 00:11:26,630 SO YOU DON'T WANT TO MAKE YOUR PARENTS SUFFER 337 00:11:26,640 --> 00:11:27,950 AND PAY FOR MISTREATING YOU THEN ? 338 00:11:27,940 --> 00:11:30,100 LOOK, I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOUR PARENTS DID TO YOU, 339 00:11:30,110 --> 00:11:32,280 BUT IF YOU'RE HERE, I TAKE IT THEY PISSED YOU OFF PRETTY GOOD. 340 00:11:32,270 --> 00:11:34,880 MAYBE YOU SHOULD AT LEAST HEAR WHAT I HAVE TO OFFER ? 341 00:11:34,880 --> 00:11:36,610 I'M SORRY, WE THOUGHT THIS WAS A LEGITIMATE BUSINESS. 342 00:11:36,610 --> 00:11:37,910 AND IT IS, I ASSURE YOU. 343 00:11:37,910 --> 00:11:38,780 I STARTED THIS BUSINESS OVER THREE MONTHS AGO, 344 00:11:38,780 --> 00:11:40,510 FROM THE GROUND UP. 345 00:11:40,520 --> 00:11:42,690 I'VE BEEN HELPING CHILDREN GET BACK AT THEIR PARENTS EVER SINCE. 346 00:11:42,690 --> 00:11:44,430 HOW MANY PARENTS HAVE YOU EXACTED REVENGE UPON ? 347 00:11:44,420 --> 00:11:46,150 CRAIG'S. AND CLYDE'S. 348 00:11:46,160 --> 00:11:47,030 OH, AND KYLE'S. BUT THAT WAS A FREEBIE. 349 00:11:47,020 --> 00:11:49,190 LOOK, I RUN A LEGITIMATE BUSINESS HERE 350 00:11:49,190 --> 00:11:50,930 WITH STATE-OF-THE-ART COMPUTERS, CHARTS AND TECHNOLOGY. 351 00:11:50,930 --> 00:11:52,230 LOOK AROUND YOU. 352 00:11:52,230 --> 00:11:55,260 I KNOW HOW IT FEELS TO BE REALLY, REALLY PISSED OFF AT YOUR PARENTS. 353 00:11:55,260 --> 00:11:57,870 AND I WILL WORK HARD-- FOR YOU. 354 00:11:57,870 --> 00:12:01,770 OUR MOMS AND DADS LIED TO US ABOUT THOSE FUTURE SELVES. 355 00:12:01,770 --> 00:12:02,640 IT WAS JUST A TRICK TO GET US 356 00:12:02,640 --> 00:12:04,370 TO NOT WANT TO TRY DRUGS OR ALCOHOL. 357 00:12:04,370 --> 00:12:05,670 GOD DAMMIT. 358 00:12:05,670 --> 00:12:06,970 SEE, THIS IS EXACTLY WHY I STARTED THIS BUSINESS. 359 00:12:06,980 --> 00:12:09,150 IF A PARENT CAN'T RESPECT THEIR CHILD, 360 00:12:09,140 --> 00:12:10,010 THEN WHO CAN THEY RESPECT, HUH ? 361 00:12:10,010 --> 00:12:11,750 YEAH ! 362 00:12:11,750 --> 00:12:13,480 LISTEN, PARENTS UNDERSTAND ONE THING, AND THAT'S CONSEQUENCES. 363 00:12:13,480 --> 00:12:15,220 THEY NEED TO SEE CONSEQUENCES FROM THEIR ACTIONS 364 00:12:15,220 --> 00:12:16,950 OR ELSE THEY'LL NEVER LEARN. 365 00:12:16,950 --> 00:12:18,250 WHAT MY COMPANY DOES IS INFLICTS THOSE CONSEQUENCES 366 00:12:18,250 --> 00:12:21,290 UPON THE PARENTS IN A VERY REAL AND VERY DIRECT WAY. 367 00:12:21,290 --> 00:12:23,020 HOW MUCH IS THIS GOING TO COST US ? 368 00:12:23,030 --> 00:12:26,070 $18,000. 369 00:12:27,360 --> 00:12:29,100 HOW ABOUT JUST 387 EASY PAYMENTS 370 00:12:29,100 --> 00:12:29,960 OF 199.95 ? 371 00:12:33,440 --> 00:12:35,180 HOW ABOUT FIVE BUCKS ? 372 00:12:35,170 --> 00:12:38,640 SO EVERYTHING IS WORKING OUT WITH YOUR FUTURE ACTOR ? 373 00:12:38,640 --> 00:12:40,370 YOUR SON SEEMS TO BE RESPONDING ? 374 00:12:40,380 --> 00:12:41,250 I THINK HE'S PRETTY SCARED ALL RIGHT. 375 00:12:41,240 --> 00:12:42,980 IT'S JUST A LITTLE WEIRD 376 00:12:42,980 --> 00:12:44,710 HAVING TO KEEP LYING TO OUR BOY LIKE THIS. 377 00:12:44,710 --> 00:12:46,880 WELL YOU KNOW WHAT US ULTRA-LIBERALS SAY. 378 00:12:46,880 --> 00:12:50,350 "WHEN IT COMES TO CHILDREN AND DRUGS, LIES ARE OKAY." 379 00:12:50,350 --> 00:12:52,520 THE ENDS JUSTIFY THE MEANS. 380 00:12:52,520 --> 00:12:53,820 WELL, TAKE SMOKING FOR INSTANCE-- 381 00:12:53,820 --> 00:12:55,560 THE TRUTH IS THERE'S NO HARD EVIDENCE 382 00:12:55,560 --> 00:12:56,860 THAT SECONDHAND SMOKE CAN KILL, 383 00:12:56,860 --> 00:12:58,160 BUT WE BELIEVE IT'S OKAY TO LIE ABOUT IT 384 00:12:58,160 --> 00:13:01,200 AS LONG AS IT GETS PEOPLE TO STOP SMOKING. 385 00:13:01,200 --> 00:13:02,500 WELL, THAT MAKES SENSE. 386 00:13:02,500 --> 00:13:04,670 SO IT IS WITH EVERYTHING HERE AT MOTIVATIONCORP. 387 00:13:04,670 --> 00:13:06,400 IT'S OKAY FOR US TO LIE AND TELL KIDS 388 00:13:06,400 --> 00:13:08,140 THAT ALL MARIJUANA SUPPORTS TERRORISM, 389 00:13:08,140 --> 00:13:09,870 OR THAT ONE PILL OF ECSTASY IS GONNA KILL THEM. 390 00:13:09,870 --> 00:13:13,770 IT'S NOT NECESSARILY TRUE, BUT THE ENDS JUSTIFY THE MEANS. 391 00:13:13,780 --> 00:13:15,950 I THINK THAT WHEN THIS IS ALL OVER 392 00:13:15,940 --> 00:13:17,240 OUR SON IS GONNA THANK US. 393 00:13:20,280 --> 00:13:21,580 OKAY, BUTTERS, LET'S START WITH YOU. 394 00:13:21,580 --> 00:13:22,880 I THINK I FOUND A GREAT WAY TO GET REVENGE ON YOUR PARENTS. 395 00:13:22,890 --> 00:13:24,630 TELL ME IF I'M GOING IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION HERE. 396 00:13:24,620 --> 00:13:25,920 WHAT WE'RE GONNA DO, BUTTERS, 397 00:13:25,920 --> 00:13:27,220 IS WAIT FOR YOUR PARENTS TO LEAVE THE HOUSE, 398 00:13:27,220 --> 00:13:31,130 AND THEN, SMEAR ALL THE WALLS-- WITH POOP. 399 00:13:31,130 --> 00:13:32,860 HUH ! THAT'LL MAKE 'EM AWFUL SORE ! 400 00:13:32,860 --> 00:13:35,030 NOW, I WANT YOU TO TAKE A LOOK AT SOME OF THESE POOP SWATCHES. 401 00:13:35,030 --> 00:13:36,330 POOP SWATCHES ? 402 00:13:36,330 --> 00:13:38,070 POOP COMES IN A LOT OF VARIETIES, BUTTERS, 403 00:13:38,070 --> 00:13:38,930 I WANNA FIND THE PERFECT ONE, 404 00:13:38,930 --> 00:13:40,670 TAILORED TO YOUR REVENGE ON YOUR PARENTS. 405 00:13:40,670 --> 00:13:42,400 HEY, THAT'S NEAT-O, HUH, STAN ? 406 00:13:42,400 --> 00:13:43,700 PERSONALLY, I LIKE THE "BABY GREEN". 407 00:13:43,710 --> 00:13:45,880 BUT I ALSO THINK THAT "CLASSIC BROWN" 408 00:13:45,870 --> 00:13:47,170 WOULD GO NICELY WITH YOUR HOUSE. 409 00:13:47,180 --> 00:13:48,920 WOW, YOU SURE ARE PROFESSIONAL, ERIC. 410 00:13:48,910 --> 00:13:50,640 I DON'T KNOW WHICH SWATCH I LIKE BEST. 411 00:13:50,650 --> 00:13:52,820 WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT WE COULD DO, BUTTERS, 412 00:13:52,820 --> 00:13:54,560 IS GO WITH BABY GREEN IN THE LIVING ROOM 413 00:13:54,550 --> 00:13:57,150 AND THEN MAYBE A CLASSIC BROWN OR EVEN "NUT N' CORN CRUNCH" 414 00:13:57,150 --> 00:13:57,590 IN YOUR PARENTS BEDROOM. 415 00:13:57,590 --> 00:13:58,890 THAT SOUNDS GOOD ! 416 00:13:58,890 --> 00:14:01,060 OKAY, LET'S DO THAT THEN. THAT'LL LOOK NICE. 417 00:14:01,060 --> 00:14:02,360 HOORAY ! 418 00:14:02,360 --> 00:14:03,660 ALRIGHT NOW, STAN, 419 00:14:03,660 --> 00:14:04,960 FOR YOU'VE I'VE PUT TOGETHER A REALLY NICE DESIGN. 420 00:14:04,960 --> 00:14:07,130 I FEEL YOUR PARENTS WERE A BIT MORE COCKY ABOUT LYING TO YOU, 421 00:14:07,130 --> 00:14:08,860 AND YOUR REVENGE NEEDS TO REFLECT THAT. 422 00:14:08,860 --> 00:14:10,600 SO WHAT I WANT TO DO IS PUT A NOTE ON YOUR PARENTS DOOR, 423 00:14:10,600 --> 00:14:12,330 TELLING THEM I'M THE COUNSELOR FROM THE SCHOOL. 424 00:14:12,330 --> 00:14:13,630 YEAH ? 425 00:14:13,640 --> 00:14:14,950 THE NOTE WILL INFORM THEM THAT A PROBLEM HAS COME UP 426 00:14:14,940 --> 00:14:16,240 AND THEY NEED TO MEET ME RIGHT AWAY, BACK AT MY OFFICE. 427 00:14:16,240 --> 00:14:18,410 YEAH ? 428 00:14:18,410 --> 00:14:19,710 YOUR PARENTS WILL DRIVE ALL THE WAY OUT TO THE SCHOOL 429 00:14:19,710 --> 00:14:21,880 DISCOVERING THAT NO MEETING IS ACTUALLY TAKING PLACE. 430 00:14:21,880 --> 00:14:22,310 YEAH ? 431 00:14:22,310 --> 00:14:23,610 AND WHILE THEY'RE GONE, 432 00:14:23,610 --> 00:14:26,210 WE'RE GONNA SMEAR ALL THEIR WALLS WITH POOP. 433 00:14:26,220 --> 00:14:28,830 WOW ! NEAT-O ! 434 00:14:28,820 --> 00:14:30,120 THAT'S NOT NEAT-O, THAT SUCKS ! 435 00:14:30,120 --> 00:14:31,850 YOU'RE GONNA SMEARED BUTTERS' PARENTS' WALLS WITH POOP ? 436 00:14:31,850 --> 00:14:33,150 I THOUGHT EACH REVENGE WAS UNIQUE AND CUSTOMIZED. 437 00:14:33,160 --> 00:14:35,770 POOP SMEARING IS THE HOT TICKET RIGHT NOW, STAN. 438 00:14:35,760 --> 00:14:37,060 HAVE YOU SEEN THE POOP SWATCHES ? 439 00:14:37,060 --> 00:14:38,360 DUDE, THAT'S NOT EXTREME ENOUGH ! 440 00:14:38,360 --> 00:14:39,660 MY PARENTS AREN'T GONNA LEARN THEIR LESSON 441 00:14:39,660 --> 00:14:41,400 FROM HAVING SOME CRAP SMEARED ON THEIR WALLS ! 442 00:14:41,400 --> 00:14:42,700 I WANT THEM TO SEE WHAT THEY DID WAS WRONG. 443 00:14:42,700 --> 00:14:44,870 I WANT THEM TO ADMIT THAT THEY LIED TO ME ! 444 00:14:44,870 --> 00:14:46,170 OKAY, OKAY, FINE. 445 00:14:46,170 --> 00:14:48,340 JUST MY FIRST IDEA, THAT'S WHY WE HAVE THESE CONSULTATIONS. 446 00:14:48,340 --> 00:14:49,200 OKAY, LET ME SEE HERE. 447 00:14:49,200 --> 00:14:51,370 UH... 448 00:14:51,370 --> 00:14:52,670 WELL, THIS IS NICE. HOW ABOUT THIS ? 449 00:14:52,670 --> 00:14:53,110 WE'LL LURE YOUR PARENTS OUT OF THE HOUSE-- 450 00:14:53,110 --> 00:14:55,280 AND THEN WE'LL KILL THEM. 451 00:14:55,280 --> 00:14:56,140 WE'LL CUT THEM UP INTO LITTLE PIECES AND FEED THEM TO A DOG. 452 00:14:56,150 --> 00:14:57,020 DUDE ! 453 00:14:57,010 --> 00:14:58,310 EXTREME ENOUGH FOR YOU ? HOW'S WEDNESDAY ? 454 00:14:58,310 --> 00:15:00,480 NO, THAT'S TOO EXTREME ! 455 00:15:00,480 --> 00:15:02,220 WELL, FIRST ITS NOT EXTREME ENOUGH, THEN IT'S TOO EXTREME-- 456 00:15:02,220 --> 00:15:03,080 WHERE DO YOU WANT IT ? 457 00:15:03,090 --> 00:15:04,830 JUST FORGET IT, CARTMAN, YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING ! 458 00:15:04,820 --> 00:15:06,120 I AM A PROFESSIONAL, SIR ! 459 00:15:06,120 --> 00:15:09,160 DON'T WORRY, BUTTERS, YOU'RE GONNA BE 100% SATISFIED. 460 00:15:13,930 --> 00:15:14,800 HEY FUTURE SELF. 461 00:15:14,800 --> 00:15:15,660 YES, FORMER SELF ? 462 00:15:15,660 --> 00:15:17,830 YOU KNOW THAT THING THAT I'VE KEPT HIDDEN 463 00:15:17,830 --> 00:15:18,700 IN THE HOLE IN THE WALL FOR TWO YEARS 464 00:15:18,700 --> 00:15:20,430 THAT I'VE NEVER TOLD ANYBODY ABOUT ? 465 00:15:20,440 --> 00:15:22,180 YOU KNOW, THE THING THAT I TAKE OUT OF THE SHOE BOX 466 00:15:22,170 --> 00:15:24,770 EVERY NIGHT BEFORE I GO TO SLEEP ? 467 00:15:24,770 --> 00:15:26,510 OH, UH... 468 00:15:26,510 --> 00:15:27,810 YOU MUST KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT ? 469 00:15:27,810 --> 00:15:29,110 SURE, UH, UH... 470 00:15:29,110 --> 00:15:32,150 OH MAN, COULD YOU ALL EXCUSE ME FOR A SECOND ? 471 00:15:32,150 --> 00:15:34,320 I THINK I'M GONNA CRAP MY PANTS. 472 00:15:34,320 --> 00:15:36,920 UH, STAN, DON'T YOU THINK YOU'RE UPSETTING 473 00:15:36,920 --> 00:15:38,650 YOUR FUTURE SELF A LITTLE ? 474 00:15:38,650 --> 00:15:40,820 YEAH, STAN, DON'T BE SO HARD ON YOURSELF. 475 00:15:40,820 --> 00:15:41,690 MOM, DAD-- 476 00:15:41,690 --> 00:15:42,990 I DON'T THINK THAT GUY IS FROM THE FUTURE. 477 00:15:42,990 --> 00:15:47,330 OH, YOU, YOU DON'T ? 478 00:15:47,330 --> 00:15:48,630 NO, YOU KNOW WHAT I THINK ? 479 00:15:48,630 --> 00:15:49,500 I THINK THIS IS ALL AN ELABORATE HOAX. 480 00:15:49,500 --> 00:15:50,800 AND I THINK THAT WHOEVER IS DOING IT 481 00:15:50,800 --> 00:15:52,530 DOESN'T HAVE VERY MUCH RESPECT FOR ME. 482 00:15:52,530 --> 00:15:54,700 SEE, THE BEST WAY TO TRY TO MOTIVATE SOMEBODY 483 00:15:54,700 --> 00:15:56,000 IS BY BEING DIRECT WITH THEM, TO BE HONEST WITH THEM. 484 00:15:56,000 --> 00:15:58,610 I THINK THIS WHOLE FUTURE SELF THING IS A LIE, 485 00:15:58,610 --> 00:16:00,340 AND LIES ARE NEVER THE RIGHT WAY TO GET YOUR MESSAGE ACROSS. 486 00:16:00,340 --> 00:16:02,940 WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT I THINK, STAN ? 487 00:16:02,950 --> 00:16:04,250 WHAT ? 488 00:16:04,250 --> 00:16:05,990 I THINK HE IS FROM THE FUTURE ! 489 00:16:05,980 --> 00:16:06,850 YEAH, HE MUST BE ! 490 00:16:06,850 --> 00:16:08,150 IT'S LIKE, I JUST FEEL HE'S OUR SON, YOU KNOW ? 491 00:16:08,150 --> 00:16:10,750 RIGHT, THAT'S MOTHER'S INTUITION. 492 00:16:10,750 --> 00:16:12,050 YOU CAN'T ARGUE WITH THAT. 493 00:16:12,050 --> 00:16:13,790 NO, STAN, I THINK THE ONLY WAY YOU'RE GONNA GET RID OF HIM 494 00:16:13,790 --> 00:16:16,820 IS BY STAYING CLEAR OF DRUGS AND ALCOHOL ! 495 00:16:16,830 --> 00:16:18,570 RIGHT ! 496 00:16:30,440 --> 00:16:32,610 OKAY, VERY NICE, VERY NICE. 497 00:16:32,610 --> 00:16:34,340 OH WAIT-- GOD DAMMIT, PHILIPPE ! 498 00:16:34,340 --> 00:16:36,940 THE CLASSIC BROWN POOP IS SUPPOSED TO GO IN THE PARENTS BEDROOM. 499 00:16:36,950 --> 00:16:39,120 THE LIVING ROOM IS SUPPOSED TO BE ALL BABY GREEN POOP. 500 00:16:39,110 --> 00:16:41,280 QUE ? LA CACA NO ESTA AQUI ? 501 00:16:41,280 --> 00:16:42,150 LA CACA DE MORENO ALTA, SI ? 502 00:16:42,150 --> 00:16:43,880 AQUI ES VERDE, SENOR, ES VERDE ! 503 00:16:43,890 --> 00:16:46,060 ARRIBA ! ARRIBA ! 504 00:16:46,050 --> 00:16:46,490 SI, SI, SENOR ! 505 00:16:46,490 --> 00:16:47,790 BIEN, GRACIAS. E TU ? 506 00:16:47,790 --> 00:16:49,090 CARLOS ! CARLOS, NO ! 507 00:16:49,090 --> 00:16:51,260 WE WANT A TEXTURED EFFECT ON THE NUT N' CORN CRUNCH POOP ! 508 00:16:51,260 --> 00:16:53,430 THAT'S WHY WE SPACKLE WITH THE SPONGE, SEE ? 509 00:16:53,430 --> 00:16:55,600 SPACKLE GENTLY. LA MARRDO. 510 00:16:55,600 --> 00:16:56,900 GENTLY, SEE ? MARRDO. 511 00:16:56,900 --> 00:16:57,330 SI, MARRDO. 512 00:16:57,330 --> 00:16:59,930 MARRRDO, SPECTACULARRR. 513 00:16:59,940 --> 00:17:00,810 SI. 514 00:17:00,800 --> 00:17:02,100 UGH, SO HARD TO FIND GOOD HELP. 515 00:17:02,100 --> 00:17:03,840 AH, BUTTERS ! LIKE WHAT YOU'RE SEEING SO FAR ? 516 00:17:03,840 --> 00:17:05,140 BOY, IT SURE IS STINKY IN HERE. 517 00:17:05,140 --> 00:17:06,440 YEAH, WELL, 300 GALLONS OF POOP 518 00:17:06,440 --> 00:17:07,740 ISN'T GONNA SMELL LIKE A GARDEN, BUTTERS. 519 00:17:07,740 --> 00:17:09,480 BUT I THINK IT'S COMING TOGETHER REAL NICE. 520 00:17:09,480 --> 00:17:10,780 LOOK, ERIC, I BEEN THINKING, 521 00:17:10,780 --> 00:17:12,510 MY PARENTS SURE ARE GONNA BE AWFUL SORE AND I DON'T-- 522 00:17:12,510 --> 00:17:14,250 YES, WELL, I'VE DONE MY JOB, HAVEN'T I ? 523 00:17:14,250 --> 00:17:15,120 PEPETE ! PEPETE, NO ! 524 00:17:15,120 --> 00:17:18,590 NO COME LA TACO EN LA TRABAJAR !! 525 00:17:20,320 --> 00:17:22,490 YES, WELL, IT'S HARD TO FIND WORK IN COMMERCIALS 526 00:17:22,490 --> 00:17:23,360 SO I ENDED UP-- OH, STAN ! 527 00:17:23,360 --> 00:17:25,960 OH DUDE, HOW'S IT GOING, MAN ? 528 00:17:25,960 --> 00:17:29,430 HEY, YOU WANNA GO UPSTAIRS AND PLAY HIDE AND GO SEEK ? 529 00:17:29,430 --> 00:17:30,300 HIDE AND GO SEEK, HUH ? 530 00:17:30,300 --> 00:17:32,030 YEAH, STAN, WHY DON'T YOU GO UPSTAIRS 531 00:17:32,030 --> 00:17:32,900 AND PLAY WITH YOURSELF. 532 00:17:32,900 --> 00:17:34,640 I DON'T BELIEVE THAT HE'S MY FUTURE SELF. 533 00:17:34,640 --> 00:17:36,800 YEAH, BUT WE CAN'T BE SURE, SO WE BETTER ASSUME HE IS 534 00:17:36,810 --> 00:17:38,980 AND NEVER TRY THAT FIRST MARIJUANA CIGARETTE, HUH ? 535 00:17:38,970 --> 00:17:41,140 NO, ACTUALLY, I HAVE A WAY TO BE SURE. 536 00:17:41,140 --> 00:17:43,740 I'M GOING TO CUT OFF MY HAND. 537 00:17:43,750 --> 00:17:46,360 IF HE IS MY FUTURE SELF, THEN HIS HAND WILL DISAPPEAR. 538 00:17:46,350 --> 00:17:47,210 STANLEY, YOU DON'T NEED TO DO THAT ! 539 00:17:47,220 --> 00:17:48,960 HE IS YOUR FUTURE SELF ! 540 00:17:48,950 --> 00:17:51,120 BUT I HAVE TO KNOW FOR SURE. 541 00:17:51,120 --> 00:17:52,420 DON'T BE SILLY, STAN, 542 00:17:52,420 --> 00:17:53,720 YOU DON'T WANNA GO THROUGH LIFE WITHOUT ONE OF YOUR HANDS. 543 00:17:53,720 --> 00:17:55,020 MAYBE IT'S THE HAND I SMOKED THAT FIRST JOINT WITH. 544 00:17:55,020 --> 00:17:58,060 HERE I GO, I'M GONNA DO IT. 545 00:17:58,060 --> 00:17:58,930 STAN ! 546 00:17:58,930 --> 00:18:01,100 YES ? 547 00:18:01,100 --> 00:18:01,960 UH, NOTHING, GO AHEAD. 548 00:18:01,960 --> 00:18:04,130 RANDY ! 549 00:18:04,130 --> 00:18:05,000 AAAGH ! 550 00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:07,600 OOOOOH ! OH MY GOD, LOOK ! 551 00:18:07,600 --> 00:18:10,200 AAAAGH ! 552 00:18:10,210 --> 00:18:12,380 WHY, HIS HAND DID DISAPPEAR ! 553 00:18:12,370 --> 00:18:13,670 HE IS YOU FROM THE FUTURE ! 554 00:18:13,680 --> 00:18:14,990 OH, JESUS CHRIST, HELP ME ! 555 00:18:14,980 --> 00:18:18,010 THAT'S WEIRD, BECAUSE I DIDN'T REALLY CUT OFF MY HAND-- 556 00:18:18,010 --> 00:18:19,310 IT WAS FAKE. 557 00:18:19,310 --> 00:18:23,220 UH, LOOK, IT WAS FAKE IN THE FUTURE TOO ! 558 00:18:23,220 --> 00:18:25,390 LOOKS LIKE YOU BETTER REALLY WATCH OUT FOR MARIJUANA, 559 00:18:25,390 --> 00:18:26,250 HUH, STAN ? 560 00:18:27,990 --> 00:18:29,720 WELL, BUTTERS, I HOPE YOU LIKE THE WORK. 561 00:18:29,730 --> 00:18:31,470 I'M SURE YOUR PARENTS WILL BE PLENTY PISSED OFF. 562 00:18:31,460 --> 00:18:32,760 AND AFTER MY PARENTS GET ANGRY 563 00:18:32,760 --> 00:18:35,360 HOW DO WE GET THE POOP OFF THE WALLS ? 564 00:18:35,360 --> 00:18:36,230 OOH, UH, THAT'S A DIFFERENT COMPANY. 565 00:18:37,970 --> 00:18:39,270 OH, SOMEONE'S HERE, WE BETTER RUN OUT THE BACK. 566 00:18:39,270 --> 00:18:40,130 PEPETE ! CARLOS ! 567 00:18:40,140 --> 00:18:41,010 VAMANOS ! 568 00:18:41,000 --> 00:18:42,740 BUT CARTMAN, WAIT ! 569 00:18:42,740 --> 00:18:43,170 OH, CHRISTMAS. 570 00:18:44,470 --> 00:18:45,770 BUTTERS ! OH, STAN ! 571 00:18:45,770 --> 00:18:47,070 BUTTERS, WE-- OH GOD, IT SMELLS IN HERE. 572 00:18:47,080 --> 00:18:49,690 YEAH, WELL, 300 GALLONS OF POOP 573 00:18:49,680 --> 00:18:50,980 ISN'T GONNA SMELL LIKE A GARDEN. 574 00:18:50,980 --> 00:18:52,280 BUTTERS, WE'RE RUNNING AWAY. 575 00:18:52,280 --> 00:18:53,580 WE ARE ? 576 00:18:53,580 --> 00:18:55,320 OUR PARENTS ARE NEVER GONNA ADMIT WHAT THEY DID WAS WRONG, 577 00:18:55,320 --> 00:18:56,180 AND THEY'RE NEVER GONNA CHANGE. 578 00:18:56,180 --> 00:18:57,480 WHAT THE HELL IS THIS ?! 579 00:18:57,490 --> 00:18:59,230 OH MY GOD, OUR HOUSE ! 580 00:18:59,220 --> 00:19:01,820 OH JEEZ, I'M GONNA GET IT NOW. 581 00:19:01,820 --> 00:19:02,690 BUTTERS ! 582 00:19:02,690 --> 00:19:04,860 DO YOU HAVE AN EXPLANATION FOR THIS ?! 583 00:19:04,860 --> 00:19:06,590 WELL, NOT REALLY, SIR, I JUST THOUGHT-- 584 00:19:06,600 --> 00:19:09,210 WAIT A MINUTE, CHRIS-- DON'T YOU SEE ? 585 00:19:09,200 --> 00:19:10,500 THIS MIGHT BE OUR FAULT. 586 00:19:10,500 --> 00:19:11,800 WH-- I-- 587 00:19:11,800 --> 00:19:13,530 MY GOD, YOU'RE RIGHT, LINDA. 588 00:19:13,540 --> 00:19:15,280 THIS IS WHAT WE GET FOR DECEIVING OUR SON. 589 00:19:15,270 --> 00:19:17,440 HUH ?! 590 00:19:17,440 --> 00:19:18,310 BUTTERS, LISTEN, THE WHOLE FUTURE SELF THING, 591 00:19:18,310 --> 00:19:20,470 WELL, IT WAS A DIRTY FIB. 592 00:19:20,480 --> 00:19:22,650 WE JUST SO DESPERATELY WANTED YOU TO NEVER TRY DRUGS 593 00:19:22,640 --> 00:19:23,940 THAT WE USED A BIG SCARE TACTIC 594 00:19:23,950 --> 00:19:25,690 INSTEAD OF TELLING YOU THE TRUTH. 595 00:19:25,680 --> 00:19:27,850 WE THOUGHT THE ENDS JUSTIFIED THE MEANS, 596 00:19:27,850 --> 00:19:30,020 BUT THEY DON'T. THEY JUST DON'T, SON ! 597 00:19:30,890 --> 00:19:33,930 WE'RE SORRY, BABY ! 598 00:19:34,360 --> 00:19:36,100 GET THE OUTTA HERE. 599 00:19:36,090 --> 00:19:37,390 STAN ! STAN ! 600 00:19:37,390 --> 00:19:38,260 OH, OKAY, YOU MIGHT BE WONDERING 601 00:19:38,260 --> 00:19:39,990 WHY BUTTERS HAS A FUTURE SELF TOO. 602 00:19:40,000 --> 00:19:42,170 YES, WELL, YOU SEE, SON, 603 00:19:42,160 --> 00:19:43,900 THE TIME MATRIX PULLED IN MORE PEOPLE FROM-- 604 00:19:43,900 --> 00:19:45,630 OH, STOP IT, YOU GUYS ! 605 00:19:45,630 --> 00:19:46,930 I KNOW ALL ABOUT MOTIVATIONCORP ! 606 00:19:46,940 --> 00:19:48,250 ALL I'VE BEEN TRYING TO GET YOU GUYS TO DO 607 00:19:48,240 --> 00:19:49,970 IS ADMIT THAT YOU LIED TO ME ! 608 00:19:49,970 --> 00:19:51,270 OH... 609 00:19:51,270 --> 00:19:53,440 WELL, SON, WE'VE JUST BEEN TRYING TO MAKE SURE 610 00:19:53,440 --> 00:19:54,740 YOU KNOW HOW DANGEROUS DRUGS LIKE POT ARE. 611 00:19:54,740 --> 00:19:56,910 I'VE BEEN TOLD A LOT OF THINGS ABOUT POT, 612 00:19:56,910 --> 00:19:58,210 BUT I'VE COME TO FIND OUT A LOT OF THOSE THINGS AREN'T TRUE ! 613 00:19:58,210 --> 00:19:59,950 SO I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO BELIEVE ! 614 00:19:59,950 --> 00:20:01,680 WELL, STAN, THE TRUTH IS 615 00:20:01,680 --> 00:20:03,850 MARIJUANA PROBABLY ISN'T GOING TO MAKE YOU KILL PEOPLE. 616 00:20:03,850 --> 00:20:06,450 AND MOST LIKELY ISN'T GONNA FUND TERRORISTS. 617 00:20:06,460 --> 00:20:09,500 BUT, WELL, SON, POT MAKES YOU FEEL FINE WITH BEING BORED. 618 00:20:09,490 --> 00:20:10,790 AND IT'S WHEN YOU'RE BORED 619 00:20:10,790 --> 00:20:12,530 THAT YOU SHOULD BE LEARNING SOME NEW SKILL 620 00:20:12,530 --> 00:20:14,700 OR DISCOVERING SOME NEW SCIENCE OR BEING CREATIVE. 621 00:20:14,700 --> 00:20:16,860 IF YOU SMOKE POT YOU MAY GROW UP TO FIND OUT 622 00:20:16,870 --> 00:20:18,610 THAT YOU AREN'T GOOD AT ANYTHING. 623 00:20:18,600 --> 00:20:20,330 I REALLY, REALLY WISH YOU JUST WOULD'VE TOLD ME THAT 624 00:20:20,340 --> 00:20:22,080 FROM THE BEGINNING. 625 00:20:22,070 --> 00:20:23,370 HE'S RIGHT. 626 00:20:23,370 --> 00:20:24,240 IF WE USE LIES AND EXAGGERATIONS 627 00:20:24,240 --> 00:20:25,970 TO KEEP KIDS OFF DRUGS, 628 00:20:25,970 --> 00:20:27,710 THEN THEY'RE NEVER GONNA BELIEVE ANYTHING WE TELL THEM. 629 00:20:27,710 --> 00:20:30,740 WELL THERE'S ONLY ONE PERSON I CAN BLAME-- 630 00:20:30,750 --> 00:20:32,490 MOTIVATIONCORP ! 631 00:20:32,480 --> 00:20:33,780 OH, GOD ! 632 00:20:33,780 --> 00:20:35,950 WHO SMEARED CRAP ALL OVER OUR WALLS ?! 633 00:20:35,950 --> 00:20:38,120 OH JESUS, IT SMELLS, OHH ! 634 00:20:38,120 --> 00:20:40,290 YOU REALLY DID A NICE JOB, ERIC. 635 00:20:40,290 --> 00:20:42,020 YUP, I GOTTA ADMIT YOU CAME THROUGH. 636 00:20:42,020 --> 00:20:43,760 THANK YOU. 637 00:20:43,760 --> 00:20:44,630 I THOUGHT THE "HANGOVER BLACK" WENT REALLY NICE IN THE LOBBY. 638 00:20:44,630 --> 00:20:45,930 WELL, HERE, ERIC, 639 00:20:45,930 --> 00:20:47,230 I COOKED YOU A HUGE BOX OF COOKIES AS A PRESENT. 640 00:20:47,230 --> 00:20:48,530 THANKS ! 641 00:20:48,530 --> 00:20:50,260 BUT YOU KNOW, ALL THIS TALK ABOUT FUTURE SELVES 642 00:20:50,270 --> 00:20:53,310 HAS MADE ME THINK MAYBE I SHOULD TAKE BETTER CARE OF MYSELF. 643 00:20:53,300 --> 00:20:55,470 I MEAN, MAYBE I SHOULD THINK ABOUT WHO I'M GONNA BECOME. 644 00:20:55,470 --> 00:20:58,070 ATTA BOY, ERIC, YOU MADE THE RIGHT CHOICE ! 645 00:20:58,070 --> 00:20:58,940 WHO THE HELL ARE YOU ? 646 00:20:58,940 --> 00:21:00,240 HA HA ! IT'S ME, CARTMAN ! 647 00:21:00,240 --> 00:21:02,410 YOU FROM THE FUTURE ! 648 00:21:02,410 --> 00:21:03,280 I CAME BACK TO TELL YOU 649 00:21:03,280 --> 00:21:05,880 THAT THIS IS THE DAY YOU TURN IT ALL AROUND ! 650 00:21:05,880 --> 00:21:08,050 YOU STOP EATING JUNK FOOD, YOU START STUDYING HARDER, 651 00:21:08,050 --> 00:21:09,780 YOU STAY AWAY FROM DRUGS AND ALCOHOL 652 00:21:09,790 --> 00:21:13,700 AND YOU BECOME C.E.O. OF YOUR OWN TIME TRAVEL COMPANY ! 653 00:21:13,690 --> 00:21:16,720 OH WOW, REALLY ? THAT'S SO AWESOME ! 654 00:21:16,730 --> 00:21:18,900 NOW I'LL REALLY WORK TO BE SUCCESSFUL ! 655 00:21:18,890 --> 00:21:19,760 RIGHT ON ! 656 00:21:19,760 --> 00:21:21,930 GO HAVE SEX WITH YOURSELF, ASSHOLE ! 657 00:21:21,930 --> 00:21:22,800 I'M NOT THAT STUPID ! 658 00:21:22,800 --> 00:21:24,970 JUST FOR THAT I GONNA SPEND MY WHOLE CHILDHOOD 659 00:21:24,970 --> 00:21:27,130 EATING WHAT I WANT AND DOING DRUGS WHEN I WANT ! 660 00:21:27,140 --> 00:21:29,310 WHATEVAH, I DO WHAT I WANT ! 661 00:21:29,300 --> 00:21:30,600 NO, WAIT ! 662 00:21:32,340 --> 00:21:34,510 AW, GOD DAMMIT ! 46587

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