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1
00:00:02,144 --> 00:00:05,550
"Child Abduction Is Not Funny"
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00:00:33,483 --> 00:00:34,312
...And in other news,
3
00:00:34,347 --> 00:00:37,103
another school shooting has
taken place this time in Idaho.
4
00:00:37,138 --> 00:00:38,860
As these kinds
of shootings increase,
5
00:00:38,895 --> 00:00:41,873
one thing becomes clear:
Your children are not safe at school!
6
00:00:41,908 --> 00:00:43,929
Oh God!
Change it, change it!
7
00:00:44,334 --> 00:00:46,269
...This was the second time
a terrorist threat
8
00:00:46,304 --> 00:00:47,715
has been made on a theme park
9
00:00:47,865 --> 00:00:51,116
leaving everyone to realize that
children are not safe outside!
10
00:00:51,151 --> 00:00:52,570
Oh God, change it!
11
00:00:52,605 --> 00:00:55,387
...And it seems there is
a new danger to look out for.
12
00:00:55,422 --> 00:00:57,389
Children who are
taken by strangers!
13
00:00:57,424 --> 00:01:01,022
The bottom line: Children are
not safe in their own homes!
14
00:01:01,102 --> 00:01:02,920
- Agahghgh!
- Tweek!
15
00:01:02,955 --> 00:01:05,098
Come to the kitchen, sweetie,
we need to see you real quick.
16
00:01:06,968 --> 00:01:08,522
Oh God,
they're gonna get me.
17
00:01:09,019 --> 00:01:10,792
Sit down and
have some coffee, son.
18
00:01:13,133 --> 00:01:15,518
Tweek, there are starting to be
a lot of reports on the news
19
00:01:15,553 --> 00:01:18,096
about children being abducted
and we thought we should talk.
20
00:01:18,131 --> 00:01:19,036
I saw!
21
00:01:19,534 --> 00:01:22,020
You know never to talk to
strangers, right, Tweek?
22
00:01:22,021 --> 00:01:23,406
You can't trust anybody.
23
00:01:23,441 --> 00:01:24,190
Oh God!
24
00:01:24,467 --> 00:01:26,316
Now, we don't
want to alarm you, son,
25
00:01:26,351 --> 00:01:29,335
but we've installed new locks on
your bedroom windows and door.
26
00:01:29,502 --> 00:01:30,916
It's important
for you to know
27
00:01:30,951 --> 00:01:34,338
never to unlock them night for
anyone except your mother and I.
28
00:01:34,502 --> 00:01:35,269
Oh Jesus!
29
00:01:35,801 --> 00:01:38,781
It's just a precaution, sweetie.
Probably nothing will ever happen.
30
00:01:41,534 --> 00:01:42,708
No! No!
31
00:01:42,934 --> 00:01:43,973
They're gonna get me.
32
00:01:44,367 --> 00:01:47,526
Agh, oh God...
just a dream.
33
00:01:50,700 --> 00:01:51,604
Oh my God!
34
00:01:55,000 --> 00:01:55,890
Aghgh!
35
00:01:56,701 --> 00:02:00,289
Tweek, this is Officer Daniels!
Now try and stay calm,
36
00:02:00,324 --> 00:02:02,487
but we believe an
abductor is in your room!
37
00:02:03,335 --> 00:02:05,111
Inside my room?
Oh God!
38
00:02:05,146 --> 00:02:06,746
Give it up, buddy,
we've got you surrounded!
39
00:02:06,781 --> 00:02:09,163
Okay, Tweek, I want you
to very calmly but quickly
40
00:02:09,198 --> 00:02:10,951
walk to your door,
and come out to us!
41
00:02:12,169 --> 00:02:12,953
Oh my God!
42
00:02:14,971 --> 00:02:16,888
Oh, oh, Jesus, see me
through this.
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00:02:20,267 --> 00:02:21,852
Bang, you're dead, Tweek.
44
00:02:22,895 --> 00:02:24,775
- What?
- You failed the test, son.
45
00:02:24,776 --> 00:02:26,946
Didn't I tell you not
to open the door for anybody
46
00:02:27,005 --> 00:02:28,072
except your mother and I?
47
00:02:28,235 --> 00:02:29,769
Oh God! Oh Jesus!
48
00:02:29,804 --> 00:02:31,379
What if that had been
a child abductor
49
00:02:31,414 --> 00:02:33,266
pretending to be
a police officer, Tweek?
50
00:02:33,301 --> 00:02:35,425
He would have sprayed
your brains all over the floor
51
00:02:35,460 --> 00:02:37,111
then taken your body
off to the woods.
52
00:02:37,168 --> 00:02:38,916
Uhhho!
Aghaha!
53
00:02:38,951 --> 00:02:40,669
You've got to be
on your toes, Tweek.
54
00:02:41,009 --> 00:02:42,956
All right, now go to bed
and get some rest.
55
00:02:42,991 --> 00:02:44,038
Night, pumpkin!
56
00:02:49,301 --> 00:02:51,067
I hope this movie
doesn't suck ass.
57
00:02:51,102 --> 00:02:51,622
It will.
58
00:02:52,152 --> 00:02:53,414
One please.
59
00:02:53,449 --> 00:02:55,474
Wait, that's not the usual
ticket-taker guy!
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00:02:55,502 --> 00:02:56,196
So?
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00:02:56,400 --> 00:02:57,252
So I don't
know him!
62
00:02:57,502 --> 00:02:58,899
- Dude, relax.
- You relax!
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00:02:58,934 --> 00:03:00,432
What if he wants
to kill me?
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00:03:00,892 --> 00:03:02,646
God, what the hell do
his parents do to him?
65
00:03:04,431 --> 00:03:06,813
Excuse me, is this
the right road to Breckenridge?
66
00:03:06,814 --> 00:03:08,052
Aaghgh!
67
00:03:08,101 --> 00:03:10,727
Please, I just need to know
if this is South Park?
68
00:03:10,762 --> 00:03:11,805
Get away from me!
69
00:03:15,560 --> 00:03:18,123
Could you help me
across the street?
70
00:03:18,124 --> 00:03:19,379
I don't know you!
71
00:03:22,634 --> 00:03:23,515
Oh hey, kid!
72
00:03:23,801 --> 00:03:25,801
Oh thank God,
you happened by!
73
00:03:25,836 --> 00:03:28,796
My chair ran out of juice
right on these train tracks!
74
00:03:28,831 --> 00:03:29,866
If you hadn't have
shown up-
75
00:03:30,332 --> 00:03:31,725
Well, anyway, could you
give me a push?
76
00:03:31,760 --> 00:03:32,377
Nuh-uh!
77
00:03:33,240 --> 00:03:35,989
No, you don't understand,
I'm paralyzed from the neck down!
78
00:03:36,024 --> 00:03:38,248
I push the chair with this
device in front of my mouth
79
00:03:38,283 --> 00:03:39,684
but it's not working,
so, you see.
80
00:03:39,719 --> 00:03:40,860
I'm not a supposed
to talk to you!
81
00:03:41,335 --> 00:03:41,589
Please!
82
00:03:41,680 --> 00:03:43,615
This isn't funny, kid,
you have to help me!
83
00:03:43,650 --> 00:03:44,783
But it could be a trick!
84
00:03:48,367 --> 00:03:50,318
Blech!
That's a pretty good trick.
85
00:03:59,434 --> 00:04:00,863
Aaaaahhhh!
86
00:04:00,898 --> 00:04:03,611
Relax, Tweek.
I am not here to hurt you.
87
00:04:03,701 --> 00:04:06,133
I am the ghost
of human kindness.
88
00:04:06,405 --> 00:04:08,373
The ghost
of human kindness?
89
00:04:08,408 --> 00:04:11,089
You have never seen
the likes of me before!
90
00:04:11,390 --> 00:04:12,100
What do you want?
91
00:04:12,135 --> 00:04:14,217
You have lost faith
in humanity, lad.
92
00:04:14,468 --> 00:04:16,602
Something I cannot
bear to see happen.
93
00:04:16,637 --> 00:04:18,146
How can I help it?
94
00:04:18,181 --> 00:04:20,604
It seems like everywhere I turn,
somebody is out to get me!
95
00:04:20,639 --> 00:04:22,985
That is the world
that the news reports!
96
00:04:23,020 --> 00:04:25,938
It is the world that adults
preoccupy themselves with!
97
00:04:26,199 --> 00:04:28,124
But it is not
the world as it is!
98
00:04:28,159 --> 00:04:29,289
It isn't?
99
00:04:30,131 --> 00:04:31,435
Look here, Tweek.
100
00:04:31,601 --> 00:04:34,443
This woman is on her way
to the retirement home.
101
00:04:34,769 --> 00:04:35,634
She doesn't get paid,
102
00:04:35,669 --> 00:04:38,332
she volunteers her time
to talk with lonely,
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00:04:38,367 --> 00:04:41,898
elderly people who want
nothing more than a friend.
104
00:04:42,302 --> 00:04:44,592
But do you hear
about her on the news?
105
00:04:44,791 --> 00:04:45,527
No!
106
00:04:46,150 --> 00:04:48,676
Now gaze upon
this humble house, Tweek.
107
00:04:48,787 --> 00:04:52,309
Inside, there are two people
who have adopted needy children.
108
00:04:52,344 --> 00:04:54,767
They were strangers
to those kids once,
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00:04:55,010 --> 00:04:56,834
now they are loving parents.
110
00:04:59,200 --> 00:05:00,782
Now look here, boy.
111
00:05:00,923 --> 00:05:03,129
A car has broken down
with a flat tire
112
00:05:03,164 --> 00:05:05,961
and two complete strangers
have stopped to help.
113
00:05:06,162 --> 00:05:08,952
Will their kindness be reported
on the news tomorrow?
114
00:05:09,304 --> 00:05:10,421
I think not!
115
00:05:12,394 --> 00:05:14,575
Are you starting
to understand, boy?
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00:05:14,825 --> 00:05:15,678
I think so.
117
00:05:16,067 --> 00:05:19,268
You mean that even though all the news
is about murderers and abductors,
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00:05:19,303 --> 00:05:21,930
those kind of people only make up
a very small part of the world.
119
00:05:22,235 --> 00:05:23,396
That's right, lad.
120
00:05:23,501 --> 00:05:25,978
So do you think you can learn
to trust people now?
121
00:05:26,238 --> 00:05:28,402
- I'll try.
- Good.
122
00:05:28,749 --> 00:05:31,034
Then why don't you get
into the back of my van,
123
00:05:31,069 --> 00:05:32,118
and I'll drive you home.
124
00:05:35,567 --> 00:05:36,173
Your van?
125
00:05:39,084 --> 00:05:40,742
All right, Johnston,
give it up!
126
00:05:40,777 --> 00:05:43,572
Damn! Damn!
Damn! Damn!
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00:05:43,607 --> 00:05:45,502
Oh, I was so close.
128
00:05:45,537 --> 00:05:46,746
What the hell
is going on?
129
00:05:46,781 --> 00:05:48,309
Tweek, Tweek,
are you okay?
130
00:05:48,344 --> 00:05:49,782
- Did he hurt you, son?
- No!
131
00:05:49,817 --> 00:05:50,899
Then we aren't
too late.
132
00:05:50,934 --> 00:05:52,159
His name is
Frederick Johnston.
133
00:05:52,194 --> 00:05:54,106
He's been abducting
children by dressing up
134
00:05:54,141 --> 00:05:56,213
like the ghost of human kindness
for over a year now.
135
00:05:56,248 --> 00:05:58,154
And I would have gotten
away with it again
136
00:05:58,189 --> 00:05:59,960
if it weren't for you
meddling policemen!
137
00:06:00,461 --> 00:06:01,698
What's going on?
138
00:06:01,733 --> 00:06:04,322
A stranger was caught
trying to abduct the Tweek boy!
139
00:06:04,357 --> 00:06:06,204
An abductor,
in our own town?
140
00:06:06,239 --> 00:06:08,023
Oh my God, what are we
going to do?
141
00:06:08,058 --> 00:06:12,694
- Rabble, rabble, rabble, rabble!
- People, people, calm down.
142
00:06:12,734 --> 00:06:13,924
Well what are
we going to do, Mayor?
143
00:06:13,959 --> 00:06:16,996
We have to stop these abductors
from being able to get into our town!
144
00:06:17,068 --> 00:06:18,232
Rabble! Rabble! Rabble!
145
00:06:19,261 --> 00:06:22,402
Yes, but standing out here
yelling "Rabble, rabble, rabble"
146
00:06:22,437 --> 00:06:23,732
isn't going
to help anything!
147
00:06:24,752 --> 00:06:26,657
But we don't know
what else to do, Mayor!
148
00:06:26,692 --> 00:06:29,026
Rabble, rabble, rabble!
149
00:06:31,544 --> 00:06:35,768
People, what do you
think we need to do?
150
00:06:35,803 --> 00:06:36,561
Uhh...
151
00:06:37,167 --> 00:06:40,066
Well, we need to find a way
to close our town off
152
00:06:40,101 --> 00:06:41,290
from unwanted strangers!
153
00:06:41,534 --> 00:06:43,779
Yes, we need a barrier
to protect our kids!
154
00:06:45,369 --> 00:06:47,261
That's it, a wall.
155
00:06:47,296 --> 00:06:50,511
We could to build a huge city
wall all around South Park
156
00:06:50,546 --> 00:06:52,780
so that we have complete
control over who comes in.
157
00:06:53,009 --> 00:06:55,385
That's not a bad idea,
a city wall.
158
00:06:55,386 --> 00:06:57,177
But who can we get
to build it?
159
00:06:59,534 --> 00:07:03,971
And so, we want you to design and
build a great wall all around the city.
160
00:07:05,569 --> 00:07:07,065
I don't build walls!
161
00:07:07,100 --> 00:07:08,734
I just own and
operate Chitty Wok!
162
00:07:08,769 --> 00:07:11,057
We just think that you're
the best person to put up a wall,
163
00:07:11,117 --> 00:07:12,593
we're sure you've got it
in your blood.
164
00:07:13,608 --> 00:07:14,993
Ohhh I get it!
165
00:07:15,028 --> 00:07:17,861
Just because I Chinese you
fink I can build a wall!
166
00:07:18,269 --> 00:07:19,238
That is bullshit!
167
00:07:19,467 --> 00:07:20,933
I'm not a stereotype, okay?
168
00:07:20,968 --> 00:07:24,164
Just because I'm Chinese doesn't
mean I go around building walls!
169
00:07:24,165 --> 00:07:26,551
I'm just a normal person
like all of you,
170
00:07:26,640 --> 00:07:30,096
I eat rice and drive really slow
just like the rest of you,
171
00:07:30,131 --> 00:07:31,487
I'm not a stereotype!
172
00:07:31,736 --> 00:07:33,294
Please,
Mr. Twang Lu Kim.
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00:07:33,366 --> 00:07:36,418
Your ancestors put up a great wall
that kept Mongolians out
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00:07:36,453 --> 00:07:37,472
for thousands of years.
175
00:07:37,567 --> 00:07:39,168
We know you can
do it for us.
176
00:07:54,334 --> 00:07:56,609
Hey, hey!
Hey!
177
00:07:57,167 --> 00:07:59,109
What the hell you doing?
178
00:07:59,118 --> 00:08:01,816
- Tsao nugu kwaaa!
- Mongolians!
179
00:08:01,968 --> 00:08:04,146
What the hell
is Mongolian doing here?
180
00:08:05,485 --> 00:08:07,335
Hey, fuck You, Mongolian!
181
00:08:07,601 --> 00:08:09,051
Don't you
break down my wall!
182
00:08:10,064 --> 00:08:12,514
Get outta here!
Fuckin' Mongolian!
183
00:08:15,167 --> 00:08:16,711
Naini tantsu kwaaaa!
184
00:08:17,935 --> 00:08:20,566
Goddamit, how come every time
us Chinese put up a wall
185
00:08:20,601 --> 00:08:22,813
stupid Mongolians have
to come and knock it down?
186
00:08:27,558 --> 00:08:31,034
Stan, our abduction problems are over.
We got the new child tracker!
187
00:08:31,035 --> 00:08:33,544
- Child tracker?
- It's a little electrical device
188
00:08:33,579 --> 00:08:35,781
that can tell us where
you are anywhere on Earth.
189
00:08:35,816 --> 00:08:37,501
If anybody takes you,
we'll be able to locate
190
00:08:37,536 --> 00:08:39,723
your exact location
within two meters.
191
00:08:41,834 --> 00:08:43,100
There, I think
that's got it.
192
00:08:45,429 --> 00:08:47,573
Dude, no way. I'm not
wearing a child tracker.
193
00:08:47,701 --> 00:08:49,512
You can barely even tell
you have one on.
194
00:08:49,547 --> 00:08:51,901
I'm not going to school like this!
What will all the other guys say?
195
00:08:51,936 --> 00:08:53,281
I wouldn't
worry about that.
196
00:08:56,434 --> 00:08:57,088
So weak.
197
00:08:58,067 --> 00:08:59,206
So weak, dude.
198
00:08:59,936 --> 00:09:00,392
Man.
199
00:09:00,734 --> 00:09:02,467
Why did you have to go
and be abducted, Tweek?
200
00:09:02,502 --> 00:09:03,756
Now all our parents
are freaking out.
201
00:09:03,757 --> 00:09:04,709
I didn't mean to!
202
00:09:08,663 --> 00:09:09,415
Okay.
203
00:09:09,724 --> 00:09:10,637
Finally.
204
00:09:13,154 --> 00:09:13,743
Oh, no!
205
00:09:17,989 --> 00:09:20,727
It's those Goddamn
Mongolians again!
206
00:09:20,890 --> 00:09:21,281
Stop!
207
00:09:21,282 --> 00:09:23,244
Stop right there,
Mongolians!
208
00:09:23,824 --> 00:09:25,219
God damn it stop!
209
00:09:26,201 --> 00:09:30,596
Stop breaking down my city wall,
you stupid Mongolians!
210
00:09:32,835 --> 00:09:34,492
All right,
you sons of bitches,
211
00:09:35,716 --> 00:09:36,438
what the hell?
212
00:09:39,923 --> 00:09:41,157
Aw, shit!
213
00:09:44,356 --> 00:09:47,094
Oh Goddamn Mongolians!
214
00:09:48,598 --> 00:09:51,546
I gonna get you.
Fuck you, Mongolians!
215
00:09:51,581 --> 00:09:54,056
Stop breaking
my city wall!
216
00:09:55,926 --> 00:09:57,424
Aw, Goddammit!
217
00:09:57,863 --> 00:09:59,169
Bi urgalsan!
218
00:09:59,940 --> 00:10:03,749
That's the last time you gonna
break down my city wall!
219
00:10:03,890 --> 00:10:06,296
You hear me,
Mongolian?!
220
00:10:06,890 --> 00:10:08,895
God damn Mongolians.
221
00:10:12,356 --> 00:10:13,359
All right, Cows!
222
00:10:13,394 --> 00:10:15,505
We're gonna go out there and
we're gonna give 'em hell!
223
00:10:15,765 --> 00:10:17,724
But wait, where's
the other team?
224
00:10:18,508 --> 00:10:19,810
There is no other team.
225
00:10:19,845 --> 00:10:20,356
Huh?
226
00:10:20,391 --> 00:10:22,905
Well, we put a wall around
the city to get outsiders out.
227
00:10:22,940 --> 00:10:24,833
You don't think we want a bunch
of strangers coming in
228
00:10:24,868 --> 00:10:25,687
to play ball, do you?
229
00:10:25,722 --> 00:10:27,679
But there's no other team,
that won't be any fun.
230
00:10:27,714 --> 00:10:29,485
Don't worry, it'll still
be fun for us.
231
00:10:34,289 --> 00:10:36,198
Go Cows! Go Cows!
232
00:10:36,233 --> 00:10:38,075
Go Cows! Go Cows!
233
00:10:38,110 --> 00:10:39,157
Play ball!
234
00:10:42,911 --> 00:10:45,203
Steeeeee-rike!
235
00:10:50,590 --> 00:10:53,030
South Park Cows
do it again!
236
00:10:53,289 --> 00:10:55,536
Congratulations
on your victory, boys!
237
00:10:55,571 --> 00:10:57,373
Dude, we weren't
playing anybody!
238
00:10:57,408 --> 00:10:58,948
Yeah, and
you kicked ass!
239
00:10:59,854 --> 00:11:02,345
Isn't it awesome having
a great wall around our city?
240
00:11:02,380 --> 00:11:04,642
Nobody in town
except for our good friends!
241
00:11:06,922 --> 00:11:08,624
Hey, sshh!
Quiet everybody!
242
00:11:08,722 --> 00:11:10,592
And this newest study
reveals more
243
00:11:10,627 --> 00:11:13,391
about child abductions than
we apparently knew before, Tom.
244
00:11:13,426 --> 00:11:14,374
Turn it up.
245
00:11:14,409 --> 00:11:15,121
That's right, Chris,
246
00:11:15,156 --> 00:11:18,001
this newest study shows that
the majority of child abductions
247
00:11:18,036 --> 00:11:19,715
are not committed by strangers,
248
00:11:19,750 --> 00:11:22,575
but by somebody the child
knows in their own town!
249
00:11:24,364 --> 00:11:26,218
The report further states
that it is because
250
00:11:26,253 --> 00:11:29,335
the child trusts the individual that
problems occur in the first place.
251
00:11:29,370 --> 00:11:31,958
Well, I guess this means
the enemy is in our own backyard
252
00:11:31,993 --> 00:11:33,572
- so to speak.
- Sure does, Tom.
253
00:11:33,607 --> 00:11:34,621
All right, thanks, Chris.
254
00:11:34,656 --> 00:11:35,972
Is the weather
going to turn-
255
00:11:36,007 --> 00:11:37,383
Well, if you'll
all excuse us.
256
00:11:37,666 --> 00:11:39,037
I think
we'll be going now.
257
00:11:39,291 --> 00:11:40,835
Yeah, come along, Kyle.
258
00:11:40,870 --> 00:11:42,793
Stanley, time for us
to get back to the house.
259
00:11:42,828 --> 00:11:44,314
I'm not done
with my pizza.
260
00:11:44,349 --> 00:11:45,187
Now, Stanley!
261
00:11:48,689 --> 00:11:50,880
There we go,
all finished.
262
00:11:51,089 --> 00:11:53,802
My Mongolian
missile defense system!
263
00:11:53,837 --> 00:11:56,689
Those Mongolians try to break
down my city wall again,
264
00:11:56,761 --> 00:11:59,775
they gonna get a big
heat-seeking missile surprise!
265
00:12:03,223 --> 00:12:05,404
Oh!
Herro Mongolian!
266
00:12:05,491 --> 00:12:06,057
Yeah.
267
00:12:06,323 --> 00:12:08,521
You come to break down
my city wall?
268
00:12:10,681 --> 00:12:13,263
Oh, you gonna frow
dat baseball at my wall?
269
00:12:13,298 --> 00:12:16,653
Oh no, not a baseball!
I'm pretty scared.
270
00:12:17,421 --> 00:12:18,118
But you know what?
271
00:12:18,153 --> 00:12:21,942
I might have something here
that's a little bigger than a baseball!
272
00:12:23,190 --> 00:12:25,302
Say harro
to my rittle friend!
273
00:12:35,956 --> 00:12:37,184
Oh cwap.
274
00:12:42,171 --> 00:12:43,740
Ughhhh...
275
00:12:47,289 --> 00:12:49,448
God damn Mongolians!
276
00:12:50,190 --> 00:12:53,692
You break down my city wall
for the last time!
277
00:12:56,755 --> 00:12:58,869
Dude, this is worse
than child tracker.
278
00:12:58,904 --> 00:13:01,423
It's okay, boys, just
act as if we weren't here.
279
00:13:01,458 --> 00:13:03,456
Right, do what
you normally would do.
280
00:13:05,189 --> 00:13:06,768
You're such
a fat ass, Cartman.
281
00:13:06,807 --> 00:13:08,374
At least I'm not
a stupid Jew.
282
00:13:08,391 --> 00:13:09,378
What-what, whaaat?
283
00:13:11,022 --> 00:13:13,741
M'kay, kids, so now
who can tell me
284
00:13:13,776 --> 00:13:16,049
what year the first
moon landing took place?
285
00:13:16,458 --> 00:13:17,925
Uh, how about you, Clyde?
286
00:13:19,062 --> 00:13:20,221
No helping!
287
00:13:21,385 --> 00:13:23,868
M'kay, I'm not really sure
having all the parents here
288
00:13:23,903 --> 00:13:25,716
is a good idea, m'kay.
289
00:13:25,751 --> 00:13:27,956
Well, maybe things would be
better if we could trust people
290
00:13:27,991 --> 00:13:29,220
like the Stoch's!
291
00:13:29,255 --> 00:13:31,456
Us? Your family has always
been the shifty-eyed ones!
292
00:13:34,056 --> 00:13:36,003
Uh, this is just
too much to take.
293
00:13:37,870 --> 00:13:40,141
Mom, Dad, could you
please leave me alone?
294
00:13:40,176 --> 00:13:43,111
We just want to make sure
nobody hurts you, junior, m'kay.
295
00:13:43,708 --> 00:13:44,721
M'kay.
296
00:13:48,189 --> 00:13:50,141
Ha ha ha!
My master plan!
297
00:13:50,176 --> 00:13:52,115
When those Mongolians
come next time
298
00:13:52,150 --> 00:13:54,184
I pour this sweet-and-sour pork
on their heads.
299
00:13:54,616 --> 00:13:55,188
Ha ha!
300
00:13:55,223 --> 00:13:56,425
Sweet-and-sour pork
so hot and sticky,
301
00:13:56,473 --> 00:13:58,577
Mongolians will
stick right to the wall
302
00:13:58,612 --> 00:14:00,346
and scream, "Awoooooo!"
303
00:14:00,358 --> 00:14:01,628
I can't wait.
304
00:14:09,556 --> 00:14:13,711
Oh, I get it,
a Trojan Mongolian horse!
305
00:14:13,746 --> 00:14:16,150
Mongolians hiding inside
thinking that
306
00:14:16,185 --> 00:14:17,685
I'll bring it
in the city wall
307
00:14:17,720 --> 00:14:20,649
then Mongolians pop out and
destroy wall from inside out
308
00:14:20,684 --> 00:14:22,899
without getting sweet-and-sour
pork on their heads!
309
00:14:23,124 --> 00:14:25,057
Okay,
I'll pray along.
310
00:14:25,124 --> 00:14:26,875
Oh rook!
311
00:14:27,446 --> 00:14:30,324
My very own
Mongolian Trojan horse.
312
00:14:30,424 --> 00:14:32,097
Gee, what a surprise,
313
00:14:32,132 --> 00:14:35,687
I guess Mongolians aren't such
crappy, smelly people after all.
314
00:14:35,757 --> 00:14:36,488
Yeah.
315
00:14:37,022 --> 00:14:40,993
Great, wow, yeah,
what a great present!
316
00:14:41,028 --> 00:14:43,645
I just gonna push it
inside the gate
317
00:14:43,680 --> 00:14:45,110
and show it
to all my friends.
318
00:14:45,925 --> 00:14:47,181
Ahaah!
319
00:14:48,805 --> 00:14:50,789
Oh it's sweet-and-sour pork!
320
00:14:55,043 --> 00:15:02,608
Oh! I gonna get you Mongolians
if it's the last thing I do!
321
00:15:05,949 --> 00:15:08,131
...And so all the residents
of Manhattan
322
00:15:08,166 --> 00:15:11,754
are prepared to evacuate if
Ms. Clinton's ass gets any bigger.
323
00:15:11,824 --> 00:15:13,025
And in other news,
324
00:15:13,060 --> 00:15:15,554
new findings on the increase
in child abductions.
325
00:15:15,589 --> 00:15:17,077
Oh Jesus,
turn it up, honey.
326
00:15:17,089 --> 00:15:20,051
The study shows that the most
likely abductors of children
327
00:15:20,357 --> 00:15:22,032
are the parents themselves!
328
00:15:22,703 --> 00:15:26,013
The study reveals that nine out
of every ten abduction cases
329
00:15:26,048 --> 00:15:28,322
are committed by
the child's mother or father.
330
00:15:28,357 --> 00:15:29,616
The bottom line being
331
00:15:29,651 --> 00:15:32,237
that your children aren't safe,
even from you!
332
00:15:34,855 --> 00:15:35,820
Where are you going?
333
00:15:35,855 --> 00:15:39,121
I'm just going to go upstairs and
see if Tweek is still in his bed.
334
00:15:39,156 --> 00:15:39,872
Oh?
335
00:15:39,956 --> 00:15:41,229
I think
I'll go with you.
336
00:15:41,257 --> 00:15:42,674
It's okay, I can do it.
337
00:15:42,709 --> 00:15:43,839
I just want
to make sure that--
338
00:15:43,874 --> 00:15:45,115
That I don't abduct him?
339
00:15:45,150 --> 00:15:46,991
How do I know you haven't
done it already?
340
00:15:47,026 --> 00:15:48,506
Me? I would never
abduct our son!
341
00:15:48,541 --> 00:15:50,298
That's not what
the new study says!
342
00:15:51,574 --> 00:15:52,660
But what are
we supposed to do?
343
00:15:52,928 --> 00:15:54,925
How can we protect
Tweek from ourselves?
344
00:15:59,822 --> 00:16:00,687
Here you go, Stanley.
345
00:16:00,722 --> 00:16:02,633
This should hold you over
for three years.
346
00:16:02,668 --> 00:16:04,043
But why do
I have to leave?
347
00:16:04,078 --> 00:16:07,160
The news says that at your age
you aren't safe with us, son.
348
00:16:07,195 --> 00:16:09,357
You have to get out of here
before we abduct you.
349
00:16:09,392 --> 00:16:11,507
Goodbye, son,
remember to eat right.
350
00:16:11,732 --> 00:16:13,244
Look out for
your brother, Kyle.
351
00:16:13,279 --> 00:16:14,138
You're the man, now.
352
00:16:14,156 --> 00:16:16,622
Oh boys, don't ever forget
that we love you!
353
00:16:23,555 --> 00:16:24,879
Be careful out there!
354
00:16:27,582 --> 00:16:28,440
Where are
we supposed to go?
355
00:16:29,035 --> 00:16:32,025
We can't tell you because
we can't know where you are!
356
00:16:32,060 --> 00:16:33,662
Oh this is terrible!
357
00:16:34,590 --> 00:16:35,591
Go on, kids!
358
00:16:35,626 --> 00:16:37,980
Go! Go and
don't look back!
359
00:16:44,523 --> 00:16:47,000
Good-bye, kids,
we'll never forget you.
360
00:16:55,749 --> 00:16:58,067
Dude, sometimes I think
our parents are really stupid.
361
00:17:06,889 --> 00:17:10,030
Oh, hey dog,
over here,
362
00:17:10,324 --> 00:17:11,424
over here, dog.
363
00:17:11,845 --> 00:17:13,880
Got some sweet-and-sour
for you.
364
00:17:14,790 --> 00:17:15,488
Good dog!
365
00:17:15,523 --> 00:17:17,452
That's it,
keep licking, dog!
366
00:17:19,323 --> 00:17:20,777
Ha ha haaaa!
367
00:17:21,088 --> 00:17:22,782
I'm free, Mongolians!
368
00:17:22,817 --> 00:17:25,421
And now I'm gonna
make you pay!
369
00:17:26,922 --> 00:17:28,662
Finally,
some good news tonight.
370
00:17:28,697 --> 00:17:31,160
It's been several days
since any child abductions
371
00:17:31,195 --> 00:17:32,087
have taken place,
372
00:17:32,122 --> 00:17:34,662
the main reason, parents don't
know where their children are.
373
00:17:36,690 --> 00:17:37,531
What's the matter?
374
00:17:37,690 --> 00:17:40,704
Oh, it's just...
I was wondering if Stan's okay.
375
00:17:41,174 --> 00:17:43,492
Oh, I'm sure he's made it
somewhere safe by now.
376
00:17:43,804 --> 00:17:45,703
Do you really think we did
the right thing, Randy?
377
00:17:45,738 --> 00:17:48,492
Sending all the young kids
in town off to live on their own?
378
00:17:48,556 --> 00:17:50,308
Sweetheart,
you saw the news.
379
00:17:50,343 --> 00:17:51,154
I know.
380
00:17:51,189 --> 00:17:52,354
Don't you worry.
381
00:17:52,389 --> 00:17:53,887
I'm sure that
Stan and all the other kids
382
00:17:53,922 --> 00:17:56,711
are somewhere safe, off
in a whole new city by now
383
00:17:56,746 --> 00:17:58,828
making a new life
for themselves.
384
00:18:00,365 --> 00:18:02,272
Ta terniig dakhiad
kheleed ogooch.
385
00:18:02,307 --> 00:18:04,623
Bi oilgoj bain
bi naim nastal.
386
00:18:06,089 --> 00:18:08,939
- Tand ikh bayarlaa!
- Ta yamar ajil khiideg ve
387
00:18:08,974 --> 00:18:10,540
Kheden tsag bolj bain!
388
00:18:10,590 --> 00:18:12,071
Sain banaaaaaaa!
389
00:18:18,822 --> 00:18:20,469
All right, Mongolians!
390
00:18:20,504 --> 00:18:23,124
Your only way through
this wall is through me.
391
00:18:23,465 --> 00:18:25,156
This is my last stand!
392
00:18:25,191 --> 00:18:27,153
I'm gonna do
my war dance now!
393
00:18:34,623 --> 00:18:37,277
Does my war dance scare you,
Mongolians?
394
00:18:37,423 --> 00:18:39,758
Yeah, you think you
wanna piece of this?
395
00:18:50,690 --> 00:18:55,054
This is the ancient Chinese
dance of- Oh, herro, kids.
396
00:18:55,089 --> 00:18:57,340
Be careful, there's
Mongolians up there.
397
00:19:10,251 --> 00:19:11,461
Oh cwap.
398
00:19:17,595 --> 00:19:19,735
- What's going on?
- I heard an explosion!
399
00:19:19,770 --> 00:19:22,625
God damn Mongolians
attack city wall again!
400
00:19:23,987 --> 00:19:25,212
Mongolians?
401
00:19:25,247 --> 00:19:26,778
What the hell
are they doing here?
402
00:19:26,813 --> 00:19:28,303
Rabble! Rabble, rabble!
403
00:19:29,256 --> 00:19:30,342
Wait a minute.
404
00:19:30,423 --> 00:19:34,138
Those Mongolians are
our children.
405
00:19:34,524 --> 00:19:36,305
Ike? Kyle?
406
00:19:36,489 --> 00:19:38,575
My son has
become a Mongolian!?
407
00:19:39,068 --> 00:19:41,025
No! Nooooo!
408
00:19:41,056 --> 00:19:43,111
Oh God,
what have we done?
409
00:19:43,256 --> 00:19:45,441
We sent our children away
and now they don't
410
00:19:45,476 --> 00:19:46,767
even remember
who they are.
411
00:19:47,139 --> 00:19:49,070
Kids, don't you
remember us?
412
00:19:49,105 --> 00:19:50,087
Wait, wait...
413
00:19:50,122 --> 00:19:51,590
I learned some
Mongolian in college.
414
00:19:51,625 --> 00:19:52,579
Uh, let's see.
415
00:19:53,593 --> 00:19:54,316
Kids!
416
00:19:54,623 --> 00:19:56,764
Uhh, bi khuutel.
417
00:19:56,789 --> 00:20:01,528
Bi sanakh khuutel.
Ta tasalbaraa uzuulenuu.
418
00:20:01,563 --> 00:20:03,719
Oh my God, our parents
are so stupid, dude.
419
00:20:03,957 --> 00:20:06,430
Biii khuutel.
420
00:20:06,722 --> 00:20:08,198
We are your parents,
421
00:20:08,233 --> 00:20:10,875
you used to live here
with us.
422
00:20:11,116 --> 00:20:12,632
Yeah, it was like
four days ago!
423
00:20:12,667 --> 00:20:14,129
They're starting
to remember!
424
00:20:14,164 --> 00:20:15,188
Staaaaan.
425
00:20:15,857 --> 00:20:19,541
Your name is Staaan.
426
00:20:19,576 --> 00:20:21,086
Uh-huh, Stan Marsh.
427
00:20:21,357 --> 00:20:25,421
That's it! Remember, son,
remeeeeember!
428
00:20:28,789 --> 00:20:30,118
We're sorry, Tweek!
429
00:20:30,153 --> 00:20:31,303
Are you okay, Clyde?
430
00:20:31,338 --> 00:20:33,609
Oh son, can you
ever forgive us!
431
00:20:33,951 --> 00:20:35,947
- I'm over here, Dad.
- Oh.
432
00:20:36,122 --> 00:20:37,104
We're sorry, kids,
433
00:20:37,204 --> 00:20:39,503
we just let all those
sensationalist news reports
434
00:20:39,563 --> 00:20:40,594
go to our heads!
435
00:20:40,944 --> 00:20:42,598
Oh my God, do you see
what this means?
436
00:20:43,108 --> 00:20:45,691
The ghost of human kindness
was right all along!
437
00:20:45,726 --> 00:20:47,827
You mean how he said
we should trust each other
438
00:20:47,862 --> 00:20:49,271
or how he abducted
children?
439
00:20:49,472 --> 00:20:52,373
The... uh, no, the part about
being more trusting.
440
00:20:52,408 --> 00:20:54,595
We should follow what
he said, not what he did.
441
00:20:54,630 --> 00:20:56,246
Yeah!
442
00:20:56,281 --> 00:20:58,378
No, no, you know
who was right along?
443
00:20:58,413 --> 00:20:59,511
The Mongolians.
444
00:21:00,619 --> 00:21:03,008
They knew that you can't
just wall yourself off
445
00:21:03,043 --> 00:21:04,554
from the outside world.
446
00:21:04,589 --> 00:21:06,216
Putting walls up
never helps anything,
447
00:21:06,251 --> 00:21:08,358
tearing them down
brings us together.
448
00:21:11,923 --> 00:21:14,604
Oh, you better be not say
what I think you gonna say.
449
00:21:14,639 --> 00:21:17,683
Mr. Lu Kim,
tear down this wall!
450
00:21:17,718 --> 00:21:20,454
Oh God, I hate
this whole city!
451
00:21:20,623 --> 00:21:22,973
Randy, can we just
take our son home now?
452
00:21:23,008 --> 00:21:24,468
Yes, kids.
453
00:21:24,503 --> 00:21:26,797
With us, now come.
454
00:21:27,174 --> 00:21:29,718
Home.
Hooommeee.
455
00:21:31,789 --> 00:21:32,589
Jesus Christ, dude,
456
00:21:32,624 --> 00:21:35,397
they've done some stupid crap
but Jesus Christ!
31278
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