Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:08,434 --> 00:00:10,100
* i'm going down
to south park *
2
00:00:10,135 --> 00:00:11,684
* gonna have
myself a time *
3
00:00:11,719 --> 00:00:13,199
* friendly faces
everywhere *
4
00:00:13,234 --> 00:00:14,234
* humble folks
without temptation *
5
00:00:14,269 --> 00:00:16,284
* going down
to south park *
6
00:00:16,319 --> 00:00:17,826
* gonna leave my
woes behind *
7
00:00:17,861 --> 00:00:19,299
* ample parking
day or night *
8
00:00:19,334 --> 00:00:21,667
* people spouting
"howdy neighbor" *
9
00:00:21,702 --> 00:00:22,867
* headin' on up
to south park *
10
00:00:22,902 --> 00:00:23,998
* gonna see
if i can't unwind *
11
00:00:24,033 --> 00:00:28,400
* tim-Tmah tim-Mah,
tim-Mah tim-Mah timmy tim-Mah *
12
00:00:28,435 --> 00:00:30,201
* so come on down
to south park *
13
00:00:30,236 --> 00:00:31,968
* and meet some
friends of mine *
14
00:00:34,834 --> 00:00:36,699
Oh, great wizard
of gregendath!
15
00:00:36,734 --> 00:00:38,868
What quest do you ask of
this ranger and paladin?
16
00:00:38,903 --> 00:00:40,752
Only one thing can
save our kingdom-
17
00:00:40,787 --> 00:00:42,043
You must bring me
a piece of pecan pie
18
00:00:42,078 --> 00:00:43,300
With toffee ice cream
and magic shell.
19
00:00:43,335 --> 00:00:45,332
Hurry now!
20
00:00:45,367 --> 00:00:46,334
That quest sucks,
cartman!
21
00:00:46,369 --> 00:00:47,499
Think of another one!
22
00:00:47,534 --> 00:00:48,967
Uh, boys, butters' parents
want to borrow
23
00:00:49,002 --> 00:00:50,400
"The lord of the rings"
video we rented.
24
00:00:50,435 --> 00:00:52,618
Could you take it
over to them?
25
00:00:52,653 --> 00:00:54,443
You're sending us
on... a quest?
26
00:00:54,478 --> 00:00:56,234
You ask of us to
take the one video
27
00:00:56,269 --> 00:00:57,501
To the house of butters?
28
00:00:57,536 --> 00:00:58,666
Yeah, whatever.
29
00:00:58,701 --> 00:01:00,000
It shall be
a long journey,
30
00:01:00,035 --> 00:01:01,265
With many dangers
on the way.
31
00:01:01,300 --> 00:01:02,501
But if the tape must be brought
to the house of butters,
32
00:01:02,536 --> 00:01:03,801
Who else can do it?
33
00:01:03,836 --> 00:01:04,833
Very well!
34
00:01:04,868 --> 00:01:05,534
We shall embark on this quest
immediately, father!
35
00:01:05,569 --> 00:01:06,300
Come, warriors!
36
00:01:06,335 --> 00:01:08,632
Ho!
Ho!
37
00:01:08,667 --> 00:01:09,933
Mmm, that gets
rid of them.
38
00:01:09,968 --> 00:01:12,084
Ooh, you're a little
frisky, aren't you?
39
00:01:12,119 --> 00:01:14,165
Yeah, well, uh,
the lord of the rings
40
00:01:14,200 --> 00:01:16,701
Wasn't the only thing i rented
from the video store.
41
00:01:16,736 --> 00:01:19,468
I also rented...
a porno.
42
00:01:19,503 --> 00:01:21,818
Ohh, you little devil!
43
00:01:21,853 --> 00:01:24,098
You wanna go watch?
44
00:01:24,133 --> 00:01:26,666
How shall we journey to
the house of butters?
45
00:01:26,701 --> 00:01:28,667
Through the mines of vandor or
over the mountains of gralch?
46
00:01:28,702 --> 00:01:30,901
Look out, here comes the great
dragon of peringraf!
47
00:01:30,936 --> 00:01:32,667
Don't worry, i am the
great wizard moltiloch.
48
00:01:32,702 --> 00:01:34,501
I can shield us from
the dragon's fire!
49
00:01:34,536 --> 00:01:36,185
Bwwowowoowowo!
50
00:01:36,220 --> 00:01:37,799
Good job, wizard.
51
00:01:37,834 --> 00:01:39,401
And so, the party
journeyed onward-
52
00:01:39,436 --> 00:01:40,968
The great wizard,
the skillful ranger
53
00:01:41,003 --> 00:01:42,252
And the covetous jew.
54
00:01:42,287 --> 00:01:44,227
I'm a paladin,
cartman!
55
00:01:44,262 --> 00:01:46,167
Jews can't be
paladins.
56
00:01:46,202 --> 00:01:48,566
Hey there, cowboy.
57
00:01:48,601 --> 00:01:50,234
You ready for some
hot, steamy fun?
58
00:01:50,269 --> 00:01:52,599
You bet i am.
59
00:01:52,634 --> 00:01:54,000
The guys at the office told me
i had to rent this porno.
60
00:01:54,035 --> 00:01:56,634
They said this is,
without a doubt,
61
00:01:56,669 --> 00:01:59,234
The hottest porno
ever made.
62
00:01:59,269 --> 00:02:01,184
Mmm, sounds good.
63
00:02:01,219 --> 00:02:03,626
I love that lingerie.
64
00:02:03,661 --> 00:02:06,033
Yeah...
you like that?
65
00:02:06,068 --> 00:02:07,434
Mmm, yeah, baby.
66
00:02:07,469 --> 00:02:09,098
Yeah...
67
00:02:09,133 --> 00:02:09,434
Alright, you ready?
68
00:02:09,469 --> 00:02:11,518
Ready.
69
00:02:11,553 --> 00:02:13,532
Oh yeah.
70
00:02:13,567 --> 00:02:15,866
The story begins
in ages past!
71
00:02:15,901 --> 00:02:17,933
In the deep regions
of middle earth,
72
00:02:17,968 --> 00:02:21,000
Where skorn first thrived
in the kingdom of gelgala!
73
00:02:21,035 --> 00:02:23,699
Oh man, i hate when pornos
try to have a story.
74
00:02:23,734 --> 00:02:27,067
Seven rings were cast and
given to the races of men.
75
00:02:27,102 --> 00:02:28,265
Mmm, yeah.
76
00:02:28,300 --> 00:02:29,965
Seven to the races
of elves,
77
00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:32,032
Five to the glundock viladers
of gelgendol.
78
00:02:32,067 --> 00:02:35,334
Wow, the production values are
really good in this porno.
79
00:02:35,369 --> 00:02:38,651
Yeah, it almost
looks like...
80
00:02:38,686 --> 00:02:41,934
"The lord of the"-
Oh my god!
81
00:02:44,267 --> 00:02:45,700
This is the
lord of the rings!
82
00:02:45,735 --> 00:02:47,098
But then
does that mean-?
83
00:02:47,133 --> 00:02:50,934
The boys have the hottest
porno ever made.
84
00:02:53,067 --> 00:02:54,165
Oh hello, boys.
85
00:02:54,200 --> 00:02:55,367
My father has asked that
we bring you this copy
86
00:02:55,402 --> 00:02:57,599
Of lord of the rings!
87
00:02:57,634 --> 00:02:59,567
Well, thank you very much,
kind heroes.
88
00:02:59,602 --> 00:03:01,101
Perhaps a reward
is in order?
89
00:03:01,136 --> 00:03:02,566
Gold?
Frankenstein sense?
90
00:03:02,601 --> 00:03:03,900
Oh, but you are
noble heroes-
91
00:03:03,935 --> 00:03:05,200
We know our thanks
is enough.
92
00:03:05,235 --> 00:03:08,365
Man, that's crap.
93
00:03:08,400 --> 00:03:11,734
Butters, look what we have
for you to watch-
94
00:03:11,769 --> 00:03:13,466
The lord of the rings!
95
00:03:13,501 --> 00:03:14,965
Oh boy, finally
i get to see it!
96
00:03:15,000 --> 00:03:17,566
Now, daddy and i have to
do our taxes,
97
00:03:17,601 --> 00:03:19,834
So can you watch this by
yourself and not get scared?
98
00:03:19,869 --> 00:03:21,300
I won't get scared, mom,
promise!
99
00:03:21,335 --> 00:03:25,367
That's our man.
Here you go.
100
00:03:25,402 --> 00:03:27,965
Ooh da lolly!
101
00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:31,667
I finally get to see
lord of the rings!
102
00:03:34,234 --> 00:03:36,801
Spank that ass.
103
00:03:36,836 --> 00:03:39,051
Ooh...
104
00:03:39,086 --> 00:03:41,232
Neat-O!
105
00:03:41,267 --> 00:03:44,098
This is good!
106
00:03:44,133 --> 00:03:47,734
Oh my god, this is
gonna be so embarrassing.
107
00:03:47,769 --> 00:03:49,032
"Hi chris!
Hi linda!
108
00:03:49,067 --> 00:03:51,284
We were just wondering if we
could get our porno back?"
109
00:03:51,319 --> 00:03:53,501
Calm down, maybe the boys
haven't gotten there yet.
110
00:03:53,536 --> 00:03:55,833
And so the party
returns home
111
00:03:55,868 --> 00:03:57,400
After completing
their great quest.
112
00:03:57,435 --> 00:03:58,732
The one tape
was returned
113
00:03:58,767 --> 00:04:01,134
And south park
was again at peace.
114
00:04:01,169 --> 00:04:03,501
Quick, a monster
of rivendel!
115
00:04:03,536 --> 00:04:05,067
Prepare for battle!
116
00:04:05,102 --> 00:04:05,965
The boys!
117
00:04:06,000 --> 00:04:09,165
Boys! Boys!
Where's the videotape?
118
00:04:09,200 --> 00:04:11,067
We gave it to the parents of
butters as commanded by you.
119
00:04:11,102 --> 00:04:14,501
Oh, i guess we have to
go talk to them now.
120
00:04:14,536 --> 00:04:16,065
Well, wait a minute-
Uh, boys-
121
00:04:16,100 --> 00:04:20,000
Do you think you can go get that
tape back for us really fast?
122
00:04:20,035 --> 00:04:23,968
This sounds like a really
important quest.
123
00:04:24,003 --> 00:04:24,499
Yes, it is.
124
00:04:24,534 --> 00:04:26,032
This is more important
125
00:04:26,067 --> 00:04:28,100
Than anything i've ever
asked you to do.
126
00:04:28,135 --> 00:04:29,499
You must retrieve the tape-
127
00:04:29,534 --> 00:04:32,267
But do not look at it,
for it holds an evil power.
128
00:04:32,302 --> 00:04:35,268
Retrieve the tape and
return it to us at home.
129
00:04:35,303 --> 00:04:38,234
Do this, and you will be
greatly rewarded.
130
00:04:38,269 --> 00:04:39,499
Wow!
131
00:04:39,534 --> 00:04:40,365
This- Is so cool.
132
00:04:40,400 --> 00:04:43,750
Gentlemen-
We are off!
133
00:04:43,785 --> 00:04:47,100
Okay.
Problem solved.
134
00:04:50,567 --> 00:04:53,300
Just like that.
135
00:04:53,335 --> 00:04:56,634
Oh golly.
136
00:04:57,667 --> 00:05:00,766
Hey, what's happenin'
down there?
137
00:05:00,801 --> 00:05:03,300
We have come to reclaim
the one tape!
138
00:05:03,335 --> 00:05:05,468
Whoa, whoa,
what are you doing?
139
00:05:05,503 --> 00:05:07,566
The queen and king
of stanzizhouse
140
00:05:07,601 --> 00:05:09,867
Wish the lord of the rings
returned to them.
141
00:05:09,902 --> 00:05:12,133
But it's the greatest movie
i've ever seen.
142
00:05:12,168 --> 00:05:13,165
You guys were right.
143
00:05:13,200 --> 00:05:14,632
Lord of the rings
is awesome.
144
00:05:14,667 --> 00:05:15,267
You have to let me
finish watching it.
145
00:05:15,302 --> 00:05:17,232
Nay, butters!
146
00:05:17,267 --> 00:05:19,934
The one tape must be brought
back to stanzizhouse!
147
00:05:22,133 --> 00:05:22,933
Wagh!
148
00:05:22,968 --> 00:05:24,667
Butters, we said
you can't watch it!
149
00:05:24,702 --> 00:05:25,866
We have a quest!
150
00:05:25,901 --> 00:05:27,667
Then, then let me
go with you.
151
00:05:27,702 --> 00:05:28,699
Okay, fine, butters,
152
00:05:28,734 --> 00:05:30,317
But if you're gonna
hang out with us,
153
00:05:30,352 --> 00:05:31,901
You have to play like
lord of the rings.
154
00:05:31,936 --> 00:05:33,200
Oh, okay!
155
00:05:34,968 --> 00:05:36,299
Yeah.
156
00:05:36,334 --> 00:05:37,801
Butters! What the hell
are you doing?!
157
00:05:37,836 --> 00:05:38,534
Playing lord
of the rings!
158
00:05:38,569 --> 00:05:40,965
Huh, huh!
Yeah.
159
00:05:41,000 --> 00:05:41,998
Get the hell off me!
160
00:05:42,033 --> 00:05:43,267
You're a freak, butters!
You can't play with us!
161
00:05:43,302 --> 00:05:45,265
Let me have the tape!
162
00:05:45,300 --> 00:05:47,834
No, we have to
return it!
163
00:05:47,869 --> 00:05:48,466
My movie!
164
00:05:48,501 --> 00:05:50,300
My awesome,
cool movie.
165
00:05:50,335 --> 00:05:54,833
My... precious.
166
00:05:54,868 --> 00:05:57,267
And so, the tape
was again retrieved
167
00:05:57,302 --> 00:05:59,667
To be brought back
to stanzizhouse.
168
00:05:59,702 --> 00:06:00,799
This copy of
lord of the rings
169
00:06:00,834 --> 00:06:02,566
Made the young butters
behave quite oddly.
170
00:06:02,601 --> 00:06:04,467
Yeah, and mine parents were
acting strange about it too.
171
00:06:04,502 --> 00:06:06,365
Perhaps the
one videotape
172
00:06:06,400 --> 00:06:08,234
Has some power
we have not foreseen.
173
00:06:08,269 --> 00:06:09,998
Well, well, well!
174
00:06:10,033 --> 00:06:13,367
If it isn't robin hood
and his merry men!
175
00:06:13,402 --> 00:06:14,334
Oh crap,
the 6th graders!
176
00:06:14,369 --> 00:06:16,434
What you got there?
177
00:06:16,469 --> 00:06:17,651
Nothing.
178
00:06:17,686 --> 00:06:18,799
Hey, kid!
179
00:06:18,834 --> 00:06:21,300
Lord of the rings-
Ha! That movie's gay!
180
00:06:21,335 --> 00:06:22,566
You're gay!
181
00:06:22,601 --> 00:06:24,799
What the-?!
Whoa!
182
00:06:24,834 --> 00:06:26,501
Check it out,
you guys!
183
00:06:26,536 --> 00:06:27,768
Whoa!
Whoa!
184
00:06:27,803 --> 00:06:28,965
Give it back!
185
00:06:29,000 --> 00:06:30,267
We're on a quest to
return it to my parents.
186
00:06:30,302 --> 00:06:31,699
No way!
187
00:06:31,734 --> 00:06:32,467
We're keeping this and
watching it ourselves!
188
00:06:32,502 --> 00:06:34,466
You can't keep it!
189
00:06:34,501 --> 00:06:36,100
And what are three
little 4th graders
190
00:06:36,135 --> 00:06:37,334
Gonna do
about it, huh?
191
00:06:37,369 --> 00:06:38,499
There's four of us!
192
00:06:38,534 --> 00:06:39,267
Kenny's soul is still
trapped in cartman's body.
193
00:06:39,302 --> 00:06:41,332
Yeah!
194
00:06:41,367 --> 00:06:43,032
Oh man!
I can't wait to see this.
195
00:06:43,067 --> 00:06:44,334
Dude, that video is making
people act strange!
196
00:06:44,369 --> 00:06:47,300
The one tape
must be returned!
197
00:06:47,335 --> 00:06:48,732
Run!
198
00:06:48,767 --> 00:06:49,567
Get 'em!
199
00:06:55,234 --> 00:06:55,965
Oh, hello,
randy, sharon.
200
00:06:56,000 --> 00:06:59,033
Chris, are the boys
over here?
201
00:06:59,068 --> 00:07:00,965
No, just butters.
202
00:07:01,000 --> 00:07:02,200
He's been watching the lord
of the rings downstairs.
203
00:07:02,235 --> 00:07:04,265
Oh dear!
204
00:07:04,300 --> 00:07:05,866
What's the matter?
205
00:07:05,901 --> 00:07:08,098
We- Well, this is really
sort of funny, but,
206
00:07:08,133 --> 00:07:13,400
We, we accidentally put a porno
in the lord of the rings box.
207
00:07:13,435 --> 00:07:15,618
Oh god!
208
00:07:15,653 --> 00:07:17,743
Butters?
209
00:07:17,778 --> 00:07:19,589
Butters?
210
00:07:19,624 --> 00:07:21,012
Butters!
211
00:07:21,047 --> 00:07:22,365
Precious...
212
00:07:22,400 --> 00:07:24,933
Did you bring back
my precious?
213
00:07:24,968 --> 00:07:27,267
Butters, where is the movie
you were watching?
214
00:07:27,302 --> 00:07:28,833
They took his precious.
215
00:07:28,868 --> 00:07:30,732
Took it away to watch
without him.
216
00:07:30,767 --> 00:07:33,000
He was really enjoying
that movie, too!
217
00:07:33,035 --> 00:07:33,965
My precious.
218
00:07:34,000 --> 00:07:37,400
The boys must have come
and saw what it was,
219
00:07:37,435 --> 00:07:39,267
And then taken it
away somewhere.
220
00:07:39,302 --> 00:07:40,534
Oh, no.
221
00:07:45,534 --> 00:07:47,317
We can't let those
6th graders
222
00:07:47,352 --> 00:07:49,100
Get their hands
on this videotape.
223
00:07:49,135 --> 00:07:50,098
I must say i agree.
224
00:07:50,133 --> 00:07:52,033
If this copy of the lord
of rings is "hainted"
225
00:07:52,068 --> 00:07:54,034
It would not be safe
in the wrong hands.
226
00:07:54,069 --> 00:07:56,000
I smell 4th graders!
227
00:07:56,035 --> 00:07:57,067
Oh crap, dude!
228
00:07:57,102 --> 00:07:59,434
Hide!
229
00:08:07,300 --> 00:08:08,399
Hey!
230
00:08:08,434 --> 00:08:12,267
I think i see something
down the hill!
231
00:08:12,302 --> 00:08:13,365
Whew!
232
00:08:13,400 --> 00:08:15,732
The one videotape is
sought after indeed.
233
00:08:15,767 --> 00:08:17,934
Yeah, butters, my parents,
now the 6th graders.
234
00:08:17,969 --> 00:08:18,732
Come, guys.
235
00:08:18,767 --> 00:08:20,334
We must bring this
all to the attention
236
00:08:20,369 --> 00:08:21,799
Of the high elf
of faragon.
237
00:08:21,834 --> 00:08:24,634
Yeah, the high elf!
He'll know what to do!
238
00:08:26,501 --> 00:08:27,699
And so, that's
the situation.
239
00:08:27,734 --> 00:08:29,634
All the boys are out there
somewhere with a...
240
00:08:29,669 --> 00:08:31,165
Pornographic videotape.
241
00:08:31,200 --> 00:08:32,167
Oh god!
This is horrible!
242
00:08:32,202 --> 00:08:34,599
Alright, calm down.
243
00:08:34,634 --> 00:08:37,267
Now just how bad of a porno tape
are we talking, here?
244
00:08:37,302 --> 00:08:40,334
I mean, was it like,
"crotch capers 3"?
245
00:08:40,369 --> 00:08:42,801
I'm afraid it was...
"backdoor sluts 9".
246
00:08:42,836 --> 00:08:45,234
Backdoor sluts 9!
Backdoor sluts 9!
247
00:08:45,269 --> 00:08:46,566
Is that bad?
248
00:08:46,601 --> 00:08:47,968
Backdoor sluts 9
makes crotch capers 3
249
00:08:48,003 --> 00:08:49,833
Look like
"naughty nurses 2"!
250
00:08:49,868 --> 00:08:52,133
It is the single most
vile, twisted,
251
00:08:52,168 --> 00:08:54,068
Dark piece of porn
ever made.
252
00:08:54,103 --> 00:08:55,933
How the hell
do you know?!
253
00:08:55,968 --> 00:08:58,634
I, uh, i read
about it in "people".
254
00:08:58,669 --> 00:08:59,933
Oh, this is just great!
255
00:08:59,968 --> 00:09:01,400
How could you two
be so careless?!
256
00:09:01,435 --> 00:09:02,799
We're sorry!
257
00:09:02,834 --> 00:09:04,567
Well, sheila, we can't
shelter our boys forever
258
00:09:04,602 --> 00:09:05,732
From these things.
259
00:09:05,767 --> 00:09:07,799
Maybe it's okay for them
to see an adult film.
260
00:09:07,834 --> 00:09:10,033
Not without their parents to
put it in the proper context.
261
00:09:10,068 --> 00:09:12,251
They won't understand
what they're seeing!
262
00:09:12,286 --> 00:09:14,434
It can't hurt them
that much, can it?
263
00:09:14,469 --> 00:09:16,098
Precious!
264
00:09:16,133 --> 00:09:18,133
Let me see
my precious.
265
00:09:18,168 --> 00:09:20,100
Plea-A-Ase!
266
00:09:26,167 --> 00:09:28,384
O- Pen!
267
00:09:28,419 --> 00:09:30,566
Bell-Lock.
268
00:09:30,601 --> 00:09:32,532
What do you guys want?
269
00:09:32,567 --> 00:09:34,601
We must speak speak with
the high elf of faragon!
270
00:09:34,636 --> 00:09:36,868
Oh, okay,
hang on a second.
271
00:09:41,033 --> 00:09:42,933
What troubles you?
272
00:09:42,968 --> 00:09:45,667
We have in our possession
something of great power.
273
00:09:45,702 --> 00:09:48,168
It is the lord
of rings.
274
00:09:48,203 --> 00:09:50,599
So? I have
three copies-
275
00:09:50,634 --> 00:09:52,968
And the d.V.D. With
12 hours of extra footage.
276
00:09:53,003 --> 00:09:54,668
Yes, but this is not-
Wow, 12 hours?
277
00:09:54,703 --> 00:09:56,901
Yes, but this is not
a normal copy.
278
00:09:56,936 --> 00:09:59,100
It's making people
act really strange.
279
00:09:59,135 --> 00:10:00,299
We're seriously,
high elf-
280
00:10:00,334 --> 00:10:03,300
Something very evil
lurks in this tape.
281
00:10:03,335 --> 00:10:04,399
Very well.
282
00:10:04,434 --> 00:10:05,634
I shall call the council
together.
283
00:10:05,669 --> 00:10:07,135
Meet me in the
woods of gathering
284
00:10:07,170 --> 00:10:08,566
Behind talingharr
the black's house.
285
00:10:08,601 --> 00:10:10,200
And don't let my mom see you
'cause i'll get in trouble.
286
00:10:10,235 --> 00:10:11,601
Thank you,
high elf of paragon.
287
00:10:11,636 --> 00:10:13,818
Faragon!
Asshole.
288
00:10:13,853 --> 00:10:16,000
Clyde's a dick.
289
00:10:17,167 --> 00:10:19,833
Alright, everybody,
listen up!
290
00:10:19,868 --> 00:10:21,901
There's three snot-Nosed little
4th graders out there
291
00:10:21,936 --> 00:10:24,434
Who have a porno called
"backdoor sluts 9".
292
00:10:24,469 --> 00:10:26,232
Ooohh!
293
00:10:26,267 --> 00:10:27,884
I checked it out
on the internet
294
00:10:27,919 --> 00:10:29,466
And it said that
backdoor sluts 9
295
00:10:29,501 --> 00:10:32,767
Is the most hardcore
porno ever made.
296
00:10:32,802 --> 00:10:33,599
Ahhhh!
297
00:10:33,634 --> 00:10:36,017
I have amassed this army
of 6th graders
298
00:10:36,052 --> 00:10:38,400
To get the tape
by any means necessary.
299
00:10:38,435 --> 00:10:40,934
Now- Let's go get
that porno!
300
00:10:40,969 --> 00:10:42,901
Aaahhh!
301
00:10:45,434 --> 00:10:47,032
And so, that is
the situation.
302
00:10:47,067 --> 00:10:49,384
The videotape may or may not
have evil powers.
303
00:10:49,419 --> 00:10:51,701
Kyle, would you bring it
up here, please?
304
00:10:54,300 --> 00:10:55,599
Ooh...
ahh...
305
00:10:55,634 --> 00:10:59,167
That video could have been
made by sauron's evil forces.
306
00:10:59,202 --> 00:11:01,466
It could hold a mental
spell of some kind.
307
00:11:01,501 --> 00:11:04,734
Perhaps we could use it to
strengthen our star cruisers!
308
00:11:07,434 --> 00:11:11,165
Kevin, god dammit.
309
00:11:11,200 --> 00:11:13,968
Look, until we see this tape's
power for ourselves
310
00:11:14,003 --> 00:11:15,499
We cannot risk
giving it to anybody.
311
00:11:15,534 --> 00:11:17,968
But if we watch it we could
fall under its spell too!
312
00:11:18,003 --> 00:11:18,933
That is true.
313
00:11:18,968 --> 00:11:20,467
Only a paladin with
a high constitution
314
00:11:20,502 --> 00:11:21,799
Should watch the tape.
315
00:11:21,834 --> 00:11:23,434
Therefore, i think it is
a job for you-
316
00:11:23,469 --> 00:11:26,067
Talingharr the black.
317
00:11:26,102 --> 00:11:27,632
I'm not scared.
318
00:11:27,667 --> 00:11:28,467
I'll go inside
and watch the tape,
319
00:11:28,502 --> 00:11:30,632
Just for a few seconds.
320
00:11:30,667 --> 00:11:32,300
If i do not return
in two minutes
321
00:11:32,335 --> 00:11:33,699
Send a party in
after me.
322
00:11:33,734 --> 00:11:36,033
The fate of middle earth
is in my hands.
323
00:11:40,968 --> 00:11:42,165
Fourth graders!
324
00:11:42,200 --> 00:11:45,601
Give us that porno!
325
00:11:48,400 --> 00:11:49,732
Boys?
326
00:11:49,767 --> 00:11:52,700
Boys, we're not
mad at you.
327
00:11:52,735 --> 00:11:55,599
We just want to
talk to you!
328
00:11:55,634 --> 00:11:58,134
Talingharr the black returns
from watching the video!
329
00:11:58,169 --> 00:12:00,634
What sights did you see on
the videotape, talingharr?
330
00:12:00,669 --> 00:12:01,501
Is it the work
of sauron's magic?
331
00:12:01,536 --> 00:12:04,118
I'm not playing
anymore.
332
00:12:04,153 --> 00:12:06,666
Whoa, wait,
what'd you see?
333
00:12:06,701 --> 00:12:08,300
I don't know.
I don't want to know.
334
00:12:08,335 --> 00:12:10,868
I'm out.
335
00:12:14,467 --> 00:12:17,933
My god, this thing must
really be powerful.
336
00:12:17,968 --> 00:12:19,200
This tape makes people
freak out wherever it goes!
337
00:12:19,235 --> 00:12:20,968
What do we do
with it?
338
00:12:21,003 --> 00:12:22,666
One thing's for sure,
339
00:12:22,701 --> 00:12:24,065
This tape cannot be
trusted with anybody.
340
00:12:24,100 --> 00:12:25,267
It must be returned to the
video store from whence it came.
341
00:12:25,302 --> 00:12:27,618
Where is the videotape
rented from?
342
00:12:27,653 --> 00:12:29,934
Two towers video store-
In conifer.
343
00:12:29,969 --> 00:12:30,866
Conifer?!
344
00:12:30,901 --> 00:12:32,234
Walking there
would take hours!
345
00:12:32,269 --> 00:12:33,435
There's no alternative,
346
00:12:33,470 --> 00:12:34,768
We have to
return the tape
347
00:12:34,803 --> 00:12:36,067
Before it causes
more damage!
348
00:12:36,102 --> 00:12:37,101
I'll go.
349
00:12:37,136 --> 00:12:38,065
Ha!
350
00:12:38,100 --> 00:12:39,901
We cannot trust something of
that much power to a dwarf!
351
00:12:39,936 --> 00:12:41,334
Especially a
kindergartner dwarf!
352
00:12:42,868 --> 00:12:44,267
Stop acting like
a bunch of assholes!
353
00:12:44,302 --> 00:12:46,165
I will take it!
354
00:12:46,200 --> 00:12:47,165
I will walk to
the video store.
355
00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:50,032
It is too far and too
dangerous to go alone.
356
00:12:50,067 --> 00:12:52,334
Take with you the wizard,
the dwarf, the warrior,
357
00:12:52,369 --> 00:12:54,234
The cleric
and the jew.
358
00:12:54,269 --> 00:12:55,468
Paladin!
359
00:12:55,503 --> 00:12:56,632
Very well.
360
00:12:56,667 --> 00:12:58,434
You shall be the fellowship
of the lord of the rings.
361
00:12:58,469 --> 00:12:59,799
Good luck.
362
00:12:59,834 --> 00:13:01,767
I have to go home now
before i get in trouble.
363
00:13:01,802 --> 00:13:03,732
Me too!
364
00:13:03,767 --> 00:13:05,300
Only the six of us
are to go?
365
00:13:05,335 --> 00:13:06,799
No, no, there's
seven of us,
366
00:13:06,834 --> 00:13:09,100
Kenny soul is still trapped
in cartman's body, remember?
367
00:13:09,135 --> 00:13:10,165
Yeah, stupid.
368
00:13:10,200 --> 00:13:11,868
Yeah, luckily cartman's
big enough for the both of us.
369
00:13:11,903 --> 00:13:12,868
Shut up, kenny!
370
00:13:15,067 --> 00:13:18,033
And so it was that the heros
traveled many miles
371
00:13:18,068 --> 00:13:20,951
To return the lord of the rings
to the video store.
372
00:13:20,986 --> 00:13:23,834
We have reached the great pass
of mount uuurluroch!
373
00:13:23,869 --> 00:13:25,632
Look out!
374
00:13:25,667 --> 00:13:27,399
We were
almost killed!
375
00:13:27,434 --> 00:13:29,132
A dark wizard must be
trying to stop us!
376
00:13:29,167 --> 00:13:31,300
True, someone or something
doesn't want this video
377
00:13:31,335 --> 00:13:33,300
Returned to the
video store!
378
00:13:35,100 --> 00:13:37,732
Oh, hello, everybody.
379
00:13:37,767 --> 00:13:40,267
Steve, we heard that
a bunch of the kids
380
00:13:40,302 --> 00:13:41,734
Were over here
a little while ago.
381
00:13:41,769 --> 00:13:43,167
Well, yes,
i believe they were,
382
00:13:43,202 --> 00:13:44,484
But they've gone.
383
00:13:44,519 --> 00:13:45,732
What's the matter?
384
00:13:45,767 --> 00:13:49,100
We think our boys might be
showing other children a...
385
00:13:49,135 --> 00:13:50,868
Pornographic tape.
386
00:13:50,903 --> 00:13:51,833
What?!
387
00:13:51,868 --> 00:13:53,534
But token's never
seen a porno before!
388
00:13:53,569 --> 00:13:55,834
He wouldn't know what-
Oh god!
389
00:13:55,869 --> 00:13:56,934
Token!
390
00:14:01,234 --> 00:14:03,232
Token...
391
00:14:03,267 --> 00:14:04,968
Did the boys
come over and-
392
00:14:05,003 --> 00:14:07,067
Show you a movie?
393
00:14:07,102 --> 00:14:09,466
Token?
394
00:14:09,501 --> 00:14:12,567
Alright, token, we know
you must be very confused
395
00:14:12,602 --> 00:14:14,534
About what you saw.
396
00:14:17,267 --> 00:14:19,566
Yes, uh,
you see, token,
397
00:14:19,601 --> 00:14:21,867
That was called
a "pornographic" film.
398
00:14:21,902 --> 00:14:24,133
It shows adult men
and adult women
399
00:14:24,168 --> 00:14:26,200
Having sexual
intercourse.
400
00:14:29,501 --> 00:14:32,417
You see, when a man and
a woman fall in love
401
00:14:32,452 --> 00:14:35,299
The man puts his penis
in the woman's vagina.
402
00:14:35,334 --> 00:14:38,065
It's called lovemaking, and
it's part of being in love.
403
00:14:38,100 --> 00:14:42,601
And when the woman has four
penises in her at the same time,
404
00:14:42,636 --> 00:14:44,934
Then stands over the men
and pees on them,
405
00:14:44,969 --> 00:14:47,400
Is that part of
being in love too?
406
00:14:47,435 --> 00:14:50,699
Five midgets,
spanking a man,
407
00:14:50,734 --> 00:14:52,467
Covered with
thousand island dressing-
408
00:14:52,502 --> 00:14:54,332
Is that making love?
409
00:14:54,367 --> 00:14:56,434
Jesus, what kind of
porno was that?
410
00:14:56,469 --> 00:14:58,601
It was
backdoor sluts 9.
411
00:14:58,636 --> 00:15:00,699
Oh jesus,
not that one!
412
00:15:00,734 --> 00:15:02,734
Oh gerald, poor kyle
must be just as confused
413
00:15:02,769 --> 00:15:04,685
And scared as
this poor kid!
414
00:15:04,720 --> 00:15:06,566
Token, this is
very important.
415
00:15:06,601 --> 00:15:09,000
Do you know where the boys went
with the naughty tape?
416
00:15:09,035 --> 00:15:13,534
We're entering
the limits of bailey.
417
00:15:13,569 --> 00:15:14,732
Everyone stay close.
418
00:15:14,767 --> 00:15:16,667
Perhaps the great ringworm
of bailey is about!
419
00:15:16,702 --> 00:15:18,318
Ringworms are no match
for a dwarf.
420
00:15:18,353 --> 00:15:20,060
Yes, we shall
slay the ringworm
421
00:15:20,095 --> 00:15:21,448
And take its bounty
of treasure!
422
00:15:21,483 --> 00:15:22,766
For that is
the way of the-
423
00:15:22,801 --> 00:15:24,550
I shall put a magic
spell on you!
424
00:15:24,585 --> 00:15:25,892
I have blocked
your spell, wizard!
425
00:15:25,927 --> 00:15:27,597
Hey, what are you
guys doing?
426
00:15:27,632 --> 00:15:29,267
We're playing
"harry potter"!
427
00:15:29,302 --> 00:15:30,901
Ha!
428
00:15:30,936 --> 00:15:32,501
Fags!
429
00:15:35,267 --> 00:15:37,367
You guys, somebody's
following us!
430
00:15:37,402 --> 00:15:39,118
It's butters.
431
00:15:39,153 --> 00:15:40,799
Butters?
432
00:15:40,834 --> 00:15:42,734
Yes, he's been following us
for like two hours.
433
00:15:44,267 --> 00:15:46,250
The precious
videotape.
434
00:15:46,285 --> 00:15:48,199
Let the butters see it.
435
00:15:48,234 --> 00:15:49,299
Just ignore him,
maybe he'll go away.
436
00:15:49,334 --> 00:15:51,400
Hey fellas, mind if we
take a little rest?
437
00:15:51,435 --> 00:15:53,801
There is no time
for rest, sorcerer!
438
00:15:53,836 --> 00:15:54,267
Keep up!
439
00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:02,199
They are coming.
440
00:16:02,234 --> 00:16:04,017
You guys
go on ahead!
441
00:16:04,052 --> 00:16:05,801
Jimmy, are you sure?
442
00:16:05,836 --> 00:16:07,467
Go!
443
00:16:09,334 --> 00:16:11,667
You shall not
p- Paa...
444
00:16:11,702 --> 00:16:14,000
You shall not paa...
445
00:16:16,033 --> 00:16:17,501
You shall not pa...
446
00:16:22,801 --> 00:16:26,200
You shall not-
You shall not-
447
00:16:32,567 --> 00:16:35,732
You shall not pass.
448
00:16:35,767 --> 00:16:37,098
Jimmy didn't stop them!
449
00:16:37,133 --> 00:16:38,734
They're going to take the
lord of the rings from us!
450
00:16:38,769 --> 00:16:39,699
Quick, cross the river!
451
00:16:39,734 --> 00:16:41,400
6th graders
can't stand water!
452
00:16:41,435 --> 00:16:42,899
What?
That's stupid.
453
00:16:42,934 --> 00:16:44,533
I am a high ranking
white wizard, craig,
454
00:16:44,568 --> 00:16:46,133
And i say 6th graders
are opposed to water.
455
00:16:46,168 --> 00:16:47,199
Whatever!
456
00:16:47,234 --> 00:16:48,968
I'm going back to play with
the harry potter kids.
457
00:16:49,003 --> 00:16:50,933
Me too.
458
00:16:50,968 --> 00:16:53,451
Go ahead and play harry-
Butthole-Pussy-Potter!
459
00:16:53,486 --> 00:16:55,934
Just get across the river,
they're coming!
460
00:17:00,400 --> 00:17:03,300
What the hell is
wrong with you guys?!
461
00:17:03,335 --> 00:17:04,599
Get the tape!
462
00:17:04,634 --> 00:17:05,599
Dude, i don't
wanna get wet.
463
00:17:05,634 --> 00:17:07,601
Yeah, i don't really
like the water.
464
00:17:07,636 --> 00:17:08,334
Besides, if our
bikes get wet
465
00:17:08,369 --> 00:17:10,499
The chains'll rust.
466
00:17:10,534 --> 00:17:13,734
Oh god dammit!
Come on, we'll find a bridge.
467
00:17:15,767 --> 00:17:17,165
The quest continued
468
00:17:17,200 --> 00:17:19,467
To return the lord of the rings
to the video store.
469
00:17:19,502 --> 00:17:21,734
Man, we should have never
crossed that stupid river.
470
00:17:21,769 --> 00:17:23,300
Yeah, good job,
wizard fat-Ass!
471
00:17:23,335 --> 00:17:24,666
Now we're totally lost!
472
00:17:24,701 --> 00:17:26,050
We're not lost,
jewgar of jewlingrad!
473
00:17:26,085 --> 00:17:27,493
We just don't know
where we are!
474
00:17:27,528 --> 00:17:29,014
That's what lost means,
stupid!
475
00:17:29,049 --> 00:17:30,466
Kenny, shut your
goddamn mouth!
476
00:17:30,501 --> 00:17:31,833
This is great, we're in the
middle of nowhere
477
00:17:31,868 --> 00:17:33,968
And nobody knows what direction
the video store is in.
478
00:17:34,003 --> 00:17:35,200
The butters knowses.
479
00:17:35,235 --> 00:17:36,998
Oh brother.
480
00:17:37,033 --> 00:17:39,400
The video store, yes,
not far from here.
481
00:17:39,435 --> 00:17:41,334
We can show you
wheres it is!
482
00:17:41,369 --> 00:17:42,599
Where?
483
00:17:42,634 --> 00:17:44,967
First, just let butters
see the precious.
484
00:17:45,002 --> 00:17:47,051
No, butters, look what
it's done to you.
485
00:17:47,086 --> 00:17:49,100
It's made you even lamer
than before.
486
00:17:49,135 --> 00:17:50,566
If that was possible.
487
00:17:50,601 --> 00:17:51,567
Tell us how to get to
the video store, butters,
488
00:17:51,602 --> 00:17:53,434
Else we're gonna
kick your ass!
489
00:17:53,469 --> 00:17:54,918
No hurtses
the butters!
490
00:17:54,953 --> 00:17:56,576
We will show you
the way.
491
00:17:56,611 --> 00:17:58,200
Yesss...
this way it is.
492
00:17:58,235 --> 00:18:00,599
This is awful!
493
00:18:00,634 --> 00:18:01,899
I just know with
every passing minute
494
00:18:01,934 --> 00:18:04,934
Little kyle is seeing more
and more depraved sex acts!
495
00:18:04,969 --> 00:18:06,098
We'll find them.
496
00:18:06,133 --> 00:18:08,300
And then we'll try to put
what they saw into context.
497
00:18:08,335 --> 00:18:11,033
Look, there's
one of the boys now!
498
00:18:11,068 --> 00:18:12,165
Jimmy!
499
00:18:12,200 --> 00:18:13,432
Jimmy, jimmy!
500
00:18:13,467 --> 00:18:15,534
Where did the boys go
with the porno tape?
501
00:18:15,569 --> 00:18:17,400
They were taking it
to the v...
502
00:18:17,435 --> 00:18:18,965
The v... v...
503
00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:22,234
Come on, jimmy, we don't
have a lot of time.
504
00:18:22,269 --> 00:18:24,234
They took it back
to the video...
505
00:18:24,269 --> 00:18:25,265
The video...
506
00:18:25,300 --> 00:18:26,933
The video sandwich?
507
00:18:26,968 --> 00:18:28,532
The video stockyard?
508
00:18:28,567 --> 00:18:31,184
What's a video
stockyard, jimmy?
509
00:18:31,219 --> 00:18:33,801
No, the video st...
the video st...
510
00:18:33,836 --> 00:18:34,766
Stinger?
511
00:18:34,801 --> 00:18:36,567
Staples, they went to
the video staples.
512
00:18:36,602 --> 00:18:37,518
Where's that, jimmy?
513
00:18:37,553 --> 00:18:39,127
No, you retards!
514
00:18:39,162 --> 00:18:40,714
The video st-Store!
515
00:18:40,749 --> 00:18:42,158
The video store!
516
00:18:42,193 --> 00:18:43,532
Hurry!
Hurry!
517
00:18:43,567 --> 00:18:44,567
I know where it is!
518
00:18:52,667 --> 00:18:54,868
Oh no,
they're closed!
519
00:18:54,903 --> 00:18:56,165
Closed?!
520
00:18:56,200 --> 00:18:58,098
There they are!
521
00:18:58,133 --> 00:19:00,534
Don't let 'em turn it back in
to the video store!
522
00:19:00,569 --> 00:19:01,934
We're screwed.
523
00:19:01,969 --> 00:19:03,265
Wait, a drop box!
524
00:19:03,300 --> 00:19:05,534
Quick, kyle,
drop the movie in!
525
00:19:05,569 --> 00:19:08,499
Finally, it's over.
526
00:19:08,534 --> 00:19:11,033
Precious, must have
our precious.
527
00:19:11,068 --> 00:19:11,432
Wagh!
528
00:19:11,467 --> 00:19:13,132
Butters, no!
529
00:19:13,167 --> 00:19:15,550
Nows wees hasses it!
530
00:19:15,585 --> 00:19:17,526
They're coming!
531
00:19:17,561 --> 00:19:19,432
It has to go back!
532
00:19:19,467 --> 00:19:21,617
It wantses to stay
with the butters!
533
00:19:21,652 --> 00:19:23,767
There it is!
Give me that tape!
534
00:19:25,567 --> 00:19:27,000
Let go of
the tape, butters!
535
00:19:27,035 --> 00:19:27,300
I'm never
letting go!
536
00:19:27,335 --> 00:19:28,265
Fine!
537
00:19:28,300 --> 00:19:30,834
Preciousss...
538
00:19:30,869 --> 00:19:32,365
No!
539
00:19:32,400 --> 00:19:34,117
No, no!
540
00:19:34,152 --> 00:19:35,799
Dammit!
541
00:19:35,834 --> 00:19:38,267
Aw man, now we'll never
see the hot action!
542
00:19:38,302 --> 00:19:40,432
You stupid little
4th graders!
543
00:19:40,467 --> 00:19:41,900
The tape is returned
to whence it came.
544
00:19:41,935 --> 00:19:43,334
It's power over you
shall fade as well.
545
00:19:43,369 --> 00:19:45,767
Middle earth
is again safe.
546
00:19:45,802 --> 00:19:46,933
Yeah?
547
00:19:46,968 --> 00:19:49,334
Well, that's not gonna stop us
from kicking your asses!
548
00:19:49,369 --> 00:19:51,267
Uh-Oh.
549
00:19:53,200 --> 00:19:55,332
Boys, boys!
550
00:19:55,367 --> 00:19:57,617
Crap!
Parents!
551
00:19:57,652 --> 00:19:59,833
Come on, guys!
552
00:19:59,868 --> 00:20:03,200
We'll see you next time,
fourthies!
553
00:20:03,235 --> 00:20:04,399
And perhaps they would.
554
00:20:04,434 --> 00:20:07,300
But for now, the 6th grader
army was defeated.
555
00:20:07,335 --> 00:20:08,399
There you are!
556
00:20:08,434 --> 00:20:09,934
Oh kyle, you're safe!
557
00:20:09,969 --> 00:20:11,065
Hey guys.
558
00:20:11,100 --> 00:20:12,133
We were just
about to come home.
559
00:20:12,168 --> 00:20:13,600
We had to
return the video.
560
00:20:13,635 --> 00:20:14,998
Alright, now listen, kids,
561
00:20:15,033 --> 00:20:17,133
There's some things we need to
put into context for you.
562
00:20:17,168 --> 00:20:19,200
You see, a man puts his penis
into a woman's vagina
563
00:20:19,235 --> 00:20:20,965
For both love and pleasure.
564
00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:24,367
But sometimes the woman
lays on top of the man,
565
00:20:24,402 --> 00:20:25,851
Facing the other way,
so that they can
566
00:20:25,886 --> 00:20:28,276
Put each other's genitals
in their mouths.
567
00:20:28,311 --> 00:20:30,222
This is called "69-Ing",
and it's normal.
568
00:20:30,257 --> 00:20:32,098
See, boys, a woman is
sensitive in her vagina
569
00:20:32,133 --> 00:20:35,267
And it feels good to have
a man's penis inside of it.
570
00:20:35,302 --> 00:20:37,466
That's right!
571
00:20:37,501 --> 00:20:39,567
But sometimes a woman chooses
to use other things.
572
00:20:39,602 --> 00:20:41,732
Telephones, staplers,
magazines-
573
00:20:41,767 --> 00:20:45,067
It's because the nerve endings
in the vagina are so sensitive-
574
00:20:45,102 --> 00:20:46,632
It's like a fun tickle.
575
00:20:46,667 --> 00:20:48,467
Now, on to double
penetration, boys.
576
00:20:48,502 --> 00:20:50,168
You see, sometimes
when a woman
577
00:20:50,203 --> 00:20:51,799
Has sex with
more than one man,
578
00:20:51,834 --> 00:20:54,033
Each man makes love to
a different orifice.
579
00:20:54,068 --> 00:20:55,065
That's right.
580
00:20:55,100 --> 00:20:56,267
It's something adults can do
with really good friends
581
00:20:56,302 --> 00:20:58,732
In a comfortable setting.
582
00:20:58,767 --> 00:21:00,267
It's also important that you
understand why some people
583
00:21:00,302 --> 00:21:02,251
Choose to urinate
on each other.
584
00:21:02,286 --> 00:21:04,510
Going #1 or #2
on your lover
585
00:21:04,545 --> 00:21:06,699
Is something
people might do,
586
00:21:06,734 --> 00:21:09,334
But you must make sure your
partner is okay with it
587
00:21:09,369 --> 00:21:10,332
Before you start doing it.
588
00:21:10,367 --> 00:21:14,033
Okay, boys, do you
have any questions?
589
00:21:17,334 --> 00:21:18,901
Wow.
590
00:21:21,467 --> 00:21:23,732
Well, let's all
get going.
591
00:21:23,767 --> 00:21:25,501
Yeah, come on boys,
time to get home.
592
00:21:29,133 --> 00:21:31,150
Wait a minute,
where's butters?
593
00:21:31,185 --> 00:21:33,559
Wees hasses our
preciouses.
594
00:21:33,594 --> 00:21:35,934
Hasses it...
hasses it.
38611
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