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1
00:00:08,467 --> 00:00:09,984
* i'm going down
to south park *
2
00:00:10,019 --> 00:00:11,493
* gonna have
myself a time *
3
00:00:11,528 --> 00:00:12,933
* friendly faces
everywhere *
4
00:00:12,968 --> 00:00:14,868
* humble folks
without temptation *
5
00:00:14,903 --> 00:00:16,118
* going down
to south park *
6
00:00:16,153 --> 00:00:17,943
* gonna leave my
woes behind *
7
00:00:17,978 --> 00:00:19,699
* ample parking
day or night *
8
00:00:19,734 --> 00:00:21,501
* people spouting
"howdy neighbor" *
9
00:00:21,536 --> 00:00:23,185
* headin' on up
to south park *
10
00:00:23,220 --> 00:00:24,799
* gonna see
if i can't unwind *
11
00:00:24,834 --> 00:00:28,334
* tim-Tmah tim-Mah,
tim-Mah tim-Mah timmy tim-Mah *
12
00:00:28,369 --> 00:00:30,085
* so come on down
to south park *
13
00:00:30,120 --> 00:00:31,801
* and meet some
friends of mine *
14
00:00:34,434 --> 00:00:35,833
Oh, hello there, kids!
15
00:00:35,868 --> 00:00:37,699
Welcome to
lolly's candy shop!
16
00:00:37,734 --> 00:00:39,234
We're the kids whose
names you called
17
00:00:39,269 --> 00:00:40,833
On your commercial
last night.
18
00:00:40,868 --> 00:00:41,567
We're here to do
the shopping spree.
19
00:00:41,602 --> 00:00:43,365
Oh, that's great.
20
00:00:43,400 --> 00:00:44,965
You bet your fat
clown ass it is!
21
00:00:45,000 --> 00:00:48,167
Okay, i'll just need
your ticket stub.
22
00:00:48,202 --> 00:00:50,566
Ticket stub?
23
00:00:50,601 --> 00:00:51,817
You know, when you
entered the contest
24
00:00:51,852 --> 00:00:53,693
You got the other half
of this ticket.
25
00:00:53,728 --> 00:00:55,264
Oh,
who has the ticket stub?
26
00:00:55,299 --> 00:00:56,766
It was such a
long time ago!
27
00:00:56,801 --> 00:00:58,534
We don't really need
the ticket stub, do we?
28
00:00:58,569 --> 00:01:00,467
Don't need
the ticket stub?
29
00:01:00,502 --> 00:01:01,666
Are you high?
30
00:01:01,701 --> 00:01:02,965
How else do i know
you're the winners?
31
00:01:03,000 --> 00:01:05,383
Our names were called on
the commercial last night.
32
00:01:05,418 --> 00:01:07,767
Sorry, boys, no ticket stub,
no candy shopping spree.
33
00:01:07,802 --> 00:01:09,833
If you find it,
you can come back,
34
00:01:09,868 --> 00:01:11,167
But you only have one week
to claim the prize.
35
00:01:11,202 --> 00:01:13,434
That's called
a "ticking clock".
36
00:01:13,469 --> 00:01:15,667
Works great
in the movies.
37
00:01:18,901 --> 00:01:21,032
God damn it!
38
00:01:21,067 --> 00:01:22,150
We've gotta
find that ticket!
39
00:01:22,185 --> 00:01:23,199
Which one of us
took it?!
40
00:01:23,234 --> 00:01:24,434
It was so long ago
i can't remember.
41
00:01:24,469 --> 00:01:25,599
We've got to focus!
42
00:01:25,634 --> 00:01:28,400
We've got to focus
and remember.
43
00:01:28,435 --> 00:01:30,199
Alright,
there you go!
44
00:01:30,234 --> 00:01:31,599
Hold on to that
ticket stub.
45
00:01:31,634 --> 00:01:32,965
You'll need it to
claim your prize!
46
00:01:33,000 --> 00:01:35,699
Sign up for the 5-Minute
shopping spree!
47
00:01:35,734 --> 00:01:36,567
You hold onto this, cartman,
i might lose it.
48
00:01:36,602 --> 00:01:37,951
No, i'll lose it
for sure.
49
00:01:37,986 --> 00:01:39,300
You keep track
of it, kyle.
50
00:01:39,335 --> 00:01:41,566
Okay.
51
00:01:41,601 --> 00:01:43,534
No, i don't want that
much responsibility.
52
00:01:43,569 --> 00:01:45,234
Here, you hold
onto it, kenny.
53
00:01:45,269 --> 00:01:46,467
Okay.
54
00:01:49,167 --> 00:01:50,232
Kenny!
55
00:01:50,267 --> 00:01:52,601
Gaaah!
Gaaah!
56
00:01:55,734 --> 00:01:57,098
Yes?
57
00:01:57,133 --> 00:01:58,933
Where's kenny?
58
00:01:58,968 --> 00:02:00,699
Uh, boys...
59
00:02:00,734 --> 00:02:04,200
Kenny died last december,
don't you remember?
60
00:02:04,235 --> 00:02:05,466
We know he's dead!
61
00:02:05,501 --> 00:02:07,067
We mean, where
is his body?
62
00:02:07,102 --> 00:02:09,265
His body?
But why?
63
00:02:09,300 --> 00:02:10,899
Because he has the
god damn ticket for-
64
00:02:10,934 --> 00:02:13,367
Look, we just really
miss our friend and, uh,
65
00:02:13,402 --> 00:02:15,367
We need to see his remains
for closure.
66
00:02:15,402 --> 00:02:16,699
Yeah, closure.
67
00:02:16,734 --> 00:02:18,132
What the f-K
is closure?
68
00:02:18,167 --> 00:02:20,833
Oh, alright, boys,
come on in.
69
00:02:20,868 --> 00:02:22,418
We haven't seen you boys
for so long.
70
00:02:22,453 --> 00:02:25,310
We thought you'd
forgotten all about him.
71
00:02:25,345 --> 00:02:28,167
Here he is, boys,
our dear little kenny.
72
00:02:28,202 --> 00:02:32,067
You turned him
into a teapot?
73
00:02:32,102 --> 00:02:33,167
No, that's an urn, boys.
74
00:02:33,202 --> 00:02:35,332
Kenny's inside it.
75
00:02:35,367 --> 00:02:37,350
Your friends are here
to see you, kenny.
76
00:02:37,385 --> 00:02:39,334
They miss you an awful lot,
like we all do.
77
00:02:41,534 --> 00:02:42,300
Thanks for
coming by, boys,
78
00:02:42,335 --> 00:02:45,100
It means a lot to us.
79
00:02:45,135 --> 00:02:46,901
Oh, now, honey.
80
00:03:07,167 --> 00:03:08,265
Did you get it?
81
00:03:08,300 --> 00:03:10,065
Hold on, i'm checking
for robot guards.
82
00:03:10,100 --> 00:03:12,167
There's not gonna be any
robot guards, retard!
83
00:03:12,202 --> 00:03:13,934
Just get kenny!
84
00:03:21,133 --> 00:03:23,098
Alright!
We made it!
85
00:03:23,133 --> 00:03:25,467
Kenny better have the ticket
stub with him in there!
86
00:03:25,502 --> 00:03:26,200
Let him out,
cartman.
87
00:03:29,400 --> 00:03:30,867
Kenny?
88
00:03:30,902 --> 00:03:32,299
Kenny!
89
00:03:32,334 --> 00:03:34,367
Is he in there?
I can't see.
90
00:03:36,667 --> 00:03:38,767
What the hell is this?
Chocolate milk mix?!
91
00:03:38,802 --> 00:03:40,868
I knew kenny couldn't
fit in that teapot.
92
00:03:40,903 --> 00:03:41,965
It was a trick!
93
00:03:42,000 --> 00:03:43,532
God dammit, this isn't even
good chocolate milk mix!
94
00:03:43,567 --> 00:03:46,299
Kenny's parents must be
laughing pretty hard about now-
95
00:03:46,334 --> 00:03:48,534
We were dumb enough to believe
kenny's body could be in a teapot.
96
00:03:48,569 --> 00:03:50,167
Why would they play
such a cruel joke on us?
97
00:03:50,202 --> 00:03:51,466
Because they're
poor, kyle!
98
00:03:51,501 --> 00:03:52,767
Poor people don't have
anything better to do
99
00:03:52,802 --> 00:03:54,001
Than piss other
people off.
100
00:03:54,036 --> 00:03:55,165
Don't you watch
"springer"?!
101
00:03:55,200 --> 00:03:56,968
We just have to face it,
we're not gonna get kenny back
102
00:03:57,003 --> 00:03:58,501
And we're not gonna
have our shopping spree.
103
00:03:58,536 --> 00:03:59,799
It's over!
104
00:03:59,834 --> 00:04:01,767
God dammit, there
has to be a way!
105
00:04:01,802 --> 00:04:03,067
Hmm...
106
00:04:10,300 --> 00:04:11,501
Hmm, not bad.
107
00:04:25,033 --> 00:04:28,434
Hurry up, kenny, you're
gonna be late for school!
108
00:04:28,469 --> 00:04:30,098
Wagh!
109
00:04:30,133 --> 00:04:33,067
I don't think that chocolate
milk mix agreed with my stomach.
110
00:04:35,100 --> 00:04:36,066
Cartman, come on!
111
00:04:36,101 --> 00:04:36,998
What, what?!
112
00:04:37,033 --> 00:04:38,699
Jesus, you buttholes,
it's 6:00 in the morning!
113
00:04:38,734 --> 00:04:40,200
Kyle figured out a way to get
our winning ticket stub
114
00:04:40,235 --> 00:04:41,667
Back from kenny!
115
00:04:41,702 --> 00:04:42,432
How?
116
00:04:42,467 --> 00:04:43,799
A ladder to heaven.
117
00:04:43,834 --> 00:04:45,501
We build it, climb up and
get our winning ticket back
118
00:04:45,536 --> 00:04:48,667
From that asshole kenny.
119
00:04:52,033 --> 00:04:53,968
Hey, if you boys are
building a clubhouse
120
00:04:54,003 --> 00:04:55,402
You should start with
the floor.
121
00:04:55,437 --> 00:04:56,818
We're not building
a clubhouse,
122
00:04:56,853 --> 00:04:58,660
We're building
a ladder to heaven.
123
00:04:58,695 --> 00:05:00,614
A ladder to heaven?
Why, son?
124
00:05:00,649 --> 00:05:02,534
Because we wanna
see kenny again.
125
00:05:04,567 --> 00:05:06,899
Oh...
oh, that's so sweet...
126
00:05:06,934 --> 00:05:09,200
That's the saddest
thing i've ever heard.
127
00:05:09,235 --> 00:05:11,084
Hey, randy,
can i borrow your-
128
00:05:11,119 --> 00:05:12,899
What the hell
are they doing?
129
00:05:12,934 --> 00:05:15,601
The boys want to see their
dead friend kenny again, jimbo,
130
00:05:15,636 --> 00:05:18,400
So they're... building
a ladder to heaven.
131
00:05:18,435 --> 00:05:19,666
Aw...
132
00:05:19,701 --> 00:05:21,900
Kyle, i think you've bothered
the marshes enough.
133
00:05:21,935 --> 00:05:24,065
No, it's alright, sheila,
the boys were just...
134
00:05:24,100 --> 00:05:26,167
Building a ladder to heaven to
see their old friend kenny.
135
00:05:26,202 --> 00:05:28,201
A ladder to-
136
00:05:28,236 --> 00:05:30,165
Oh... oh gosh...
137
00:05:30,200 --> 00:05:32,267
Oh, that's
so touching.
138
00:05:36,801 --> 00:05:37,998
Tom, i'm standing in
south park, colorado,
139
00:05:38,033 --> 00:05:41,200
Where last december,
8- Year-Old kenny mccormick
140
00:05:41,235 --> 00:05:42,432
Died of a terminal illness.
141
00:05:42,467 --> 00:05:45,334
But now, that little boy's
three closest friends
142
00:05:45,369 --> 00:05:46,866
Miss their friend so much
143
00:05:46,901 --> 00:05:49,967
That they are building
a ladder to heaven in order-
144
00:05:50,002 --> 00:05:53,033
A ladder to heaven in order
to try to see him again.
145
00:05:53,068 --> 00:05:55,884
It's so sad and yet
so beautiful, tom.
146
00:05:55,919 --> 00:05:58,701
Here's what some people
had to say.
147
00:05:58,736 --> 00:06:00,199
Well, our son
just said to us
148
00:06:00,234 --> 00:06:02,868
That he really needed to see
his little friend kenny again
149
00:06:02,903 --> 00:06:07,434
And... and that he thought
it would work if he...
150
00:06:07,469 --> 00:06:08,499
Built a ladder to heaven!
151
00:06:08,534 --> 00:06:10,634
They just believe
in their little hearts
152
00:06:10,669 --> 00:06:11,866
That it will work-
153
00:06:11,901 --> 00:06:13,799
We can't tell them it won't,
we just can't!
154
00:06:13,834 --> 00:06:16,234
It shows how beautiful the
innocence of a child really is.
155
00:06:21,467 --> 00:06:24,199
A ladder to heaven?
That's stupid.
156
00:06:24,234 --> 00:06:27,067
These boys symbolize how
we all feel about loss.
157
00:06:27,102 --> 00:06:29,084
Who are we to tell them
it's impossible?
158
00:06:29,119 --> 00:06:31,032
Tom, people from all over the-
I'm sorry-
159
00:06:31,067 --> 00:06:34,934
People from all over the country
are coming to see the ladder,
160
00:06:34,969 --> 00:06:37,401
Feeling a connection to its
symbolism and beauty.
161
00:06:37,436 --> 00:06:39,768
Even country singer
alan jackson has shown up
162
00:06:39,803 --> 00:06:42,065
With a song he has written
about the ladder.
163
00:06:42,100 --> 00:06:44,133
Alan jackson is of course the
man who wrote the song
164
00:06:44,168 --> 00:06:46,534
"Where were you when
the world stopped turning"
165
00:06:46,569 --> 00:06:48,299
About the tragedies on
september 11th.
166
00:06:48,334 --> 00:06:51,400
And now he's here once again to
capitalize on people's emotions.
167
00:06:51,435 --> 00:06:53,165
Let's listen in.
168
00:06:53,200 --> 00:06:58,467
* where were you when they
built the ladder to heaven? *
169
00:06:58,502 --> 00:07:01,267
* did it make you feel
like cryin' *
170
00:07:01,302 --> 00:07:04,033
* or did you think
it was kinda gay? *
171
00:07:04,068 --> 00:07:05,532
What a beautiful song.
172
00:07:05,567 --> 00:07:11,601
* well i for one believe in
the ladder to heaven *
173
00:07:11,636 --> 00:07:14,201
* yeah yeah yeah
174
00:07:14,236 --> 00:07:16,732
* nine-Eleven
175
00:07:16,767 --> 00:07:22,033
* i said 9-11
9-11, 9-11 *
176
00:07:22,068 --> 00:07:25,968
* nine, nine...
177
00:07:26,003 --> 00:07:27,634
* eleven *
178
00:07:30,133 --> 00:07:31,432
Thank you!
179
00:07:31,467 --> 00:07:33,734
I have a new c.D. Out
with all my 9-11 songs
180
00:07:33,769 --> 00:07:35,534
For sale right here!
181
00:07:42,000 --> 00:07:44,984
Oh good, cartman's back
from the junkyard.
182
00:07:45,019 --> 00:07:47,968
I found this car seat
in mr. Garrison's car.
183
00:07:48,003 --> 00:07:50,033
Mr. Garrison threw away
his car?
184
00:07:50,068 --> 00:07:51,201
No.
185
00:07:51,236 --> 00:07:52,901
Eh!
186
00:07:52,936 --> 00:07:54,532
Whuu...
187
00:07:54,567 --> 00:07:57,567
Hurry up, kenny, you're
gonna be late for school!
188
00:07:57,602 --> 00:07:59,334
Kenny, do you by chance
know what happened
189
00:07:59,369 --> 00:08:01,851
To my playboys?
190
00:08:01,886 --> 00:08:03,593
Kenny, answer me!
191
00:08:03,628 --> 00:08:05,300
Cartman?
Cartman!
192
00:08:05,335 --> 00:08:07,466
Wha, what?
193
00:08:07,501 --> 00:08:08,632
Dude, what the hell's
wrong with you?!
194
00:08:08,667 --> 00:08:10,968
I don't know, it's like
my brain just keeps...
195
00:08:11,003 --> 00:08:11,632
Jacking off.
196
00:08:11,667 --> 00:08:12,267
Maybe you've got
brain cancer.
197
00:08:12,302 --> 00:08:13,299
You think?
198
00:08:13,334 --> 00:08:14,284
Don't get cancer on
the ladder, cartman,
199
00:08:14,319 --> 00:08:15,234
You're gonna fall off
and break it!
200
00:08:19,300 --> 00:08:22,234
The nation is rallying behind
three sweet boys in colorado
201
00:08:22,269 --> 00:08:23,334
Who are building
a ladder to heaven
202
00:08:23,369 --> 00:08:24,933
To be with
their dead friend.
203
00:08:24,968 --> 00:08:28,299
It's making americans start to
believe in heaven- Again.
204
00:08:28,334 --> 00:08:31,501
Well, when i see how this ladder
has brought people together,
205
00:08:31,536 --> 00:08:33,135
How it has
changed america,
206
00:08:33,170 --> 00:08:34,699
I mean, how can i
not believe?
207
00:08:34,734 --> 00:08:36,868
Do you actually believe
in the ladder to heaven?
208
00:08:36,903 --> 00:08:38,785
If heaven is
an 8-Year-Old boy
209
00:08:38,820 --> 00:08:40,677
And the ladder
is my penis...
210
00:08:40,712 --> 00:08:42,534
And the pearly gates
are the-
211
00:08:42,569 --> 00:08:44,732
Fffssshhhhh...
212
00:08:44,767 --> 00:08:47,666
Uh, meanwhile
the american economy-
213
00:08:47,701 --> 00:08:50,450
Wait, wait a minute-
We are getting reports now
214
00:08:50,485 --> 00:08:53,200
That japan is building
their own ladder to heaven
215
00:08:53,235 --> 00:08:53,998
To compete with the u.S.'S.
216
00:08:54,033 --> 00:08:56,767
Let's go live to
snn correspondent
217
00:08:56,802 --> 00:08:58,666
Nobu hirasama...
218
00:08:58,701 --> 00:09:02,599
This is nobunaga hiroichi
reporting rive from a tokyo,
219
00:09:02,634 --> 00:09:06,200
Where japan has started building
its own ladder to heaben.
220
00:09:06,235 --> 00:09:09,901
Already the japanese ladder
extend far into space,
221
00:09:09,936 --> 00:09:13,132
And is growing by
1,000 miles every day.
222
00:09:13,167 --> 00:09:15,666
As the endeavor continues
it is becoming clear
223
00:09:15,701 --> 00:09:19,934
That japan will reach heaven
before the united states.
224
00:09:19,969 --> 00:09:21,200
Pltftfff!
225
00:09:25,267 --> 00:09:27,750
Uh, excuse me...
excuse me!
226
00:09:27,785 --> 00:09:30,234
Uh, we ran out of stuff.
227
00:09:33,734 --> 00:09:35,300
We ran out of stuff to
build the ladder with.
228
00:09:35,335 --> 00:09:37,466
Oh no!
229
00:09:37,501 --> 00:09:39,134
Oh, jesus, no.
230
00:09:39,169 --> 00:09:40,732
* where were you *
231
00:09:40,767 --> 00:09:41,667
* when they ran out of
stuff to build *
232
00:09:41,702 --> 00:09:44,132
* the ladder to heaven? *
233
00:09:44,167 --> 00:09:46,300
We can keep going but we need to
start tearing down houses for wood.
234
00:09:46,335 --> 00:09:48,032
No!
235
00:09:48,067 --> 00:09:49,467
Uh, look, i think maybe
this has gone far enough.
236
00:09:49,502 --> 00:09:52,451
Yeah, it's time we told
the boys the truth,
237
00:09:52,486 --> 00:09:55,400
That they aren't really
going to get to heaven.
238
00:09:55,435 --> 00:09:57,767
Wait!
Look!
239
00:10:00,501 --> 00:10:02,417
We've come to help you
beat those japs, boys!
240
00:10:02,452 --> 00:10:04,334
There won't be anyone
stopping this great ladder
241
00:10:04,369 --> 00:10:06,033
From being built today!
242
00:10:07,601 --> 00:10:10,217
Alpha team, get that
support structure up!
243
00:10:10,252 --> 00:10:12,834
Surveillance team, get us
photos and recon!
244
00:10:12,869 --> 00:10:14,365
Yes, sir!
245
00:10:14,400 --> 00:10:15,766
* where were you *
246
00:10:15,801 --> 00:10:18,284
* when they saved
that ladder to heaven? *
247
00:10:18,319 --> 00:10:20,767
Man, i can't believe
how much people want us
248
00:10:20,802 --> 00:10:22,032
To get our
winning ticket back.
249
00:10:22,067 --> 00:10:24,601
Candy shopping sprees have
that effect on people, kyle.
250
00:10:33,300 --> 00:10:35,167
Do you see anything?
251
00:10:35,202 --> 00:10:36,998
No.
252
00:10:37,033 --> 00:10:39,667
Hello?
Kenny?
253
00:10:39,702 --> 00:10:41,199
God?
254
00:10:41,234 --> 00:10:43,467
Grandma?
255
00:10:45,334 --> 00:10:48,834
Aw, don't tell me we haven't
even reached the cloud city yet!
256
00:10:48,869 --> 00:10:50,501
No cloud city,
not even the giant.
257
00:10:50,536 --> 00:10:52,098
Heaven must still be
a long way off.
258
00:10:52,133 --> 00:10:53,467
Alright, look, i didn't
wanna have to say this,
259
00:10:53,502 --> 00:10:55,799
But i think maybe we're
not seeing heaven
260
00:10:55,834 --> 00:10:57,934
Because one of us doesn't
believe in it enough.
261
00:10:57,969 --> 00:10:59,098
Huh?
262
00:10:59,133 --> 00:11:01,200
Heaven could be like pixie
fairies of bubble-Yum forest-
263
00:11:01,235 --> 00:11:02,234
You only see them if you
really believe in them.
264
00:11:02,269 --> 00:11:04,365
What?
265
00:11:04,400 --> 00:11:05,701
You know- Maybe we're
not seeing heaven
266
00:11:05,736 --> 00:11:08,032
Because one of us
is a j-O-O.
267
00:11:08,067 --> 00:11:09,968
What does me being a jew
have to do with anything?!
268
00:11:10,003 --> 00:11:12,801
Because jews don't
believe in heaven!
269
00:11:12,836 --> 00:11:13,766
Yes we do!
270
00:11:13,801 --> 00:11:15,117
Just not a
christian heaven!
271
00:11:15,152 --> 00:11:16,399
Right, your idea of heaven
272
00:11:16,434 --> 00:11:17,699
Is getting $5 off your
matzo ball soup
273
00:11:17,734 --> 00:11:20,000
At barney's beanery by lying
about a hair in it.
274
00:11:20,035 --> 00:11:21,701
Aaagh!
275
00:11:21,736 --> 00:11:23,332
Ah!
276
00:11:23,367 --> 00:11:24,866
Hey, kenny.
Hey, kenny.
277
00:11:24,901 --> 00:11:26,434
We can watch it
at my house!
278
00:11:26,469 --> 00:11:27,933
* in the ghetto
in the ghetto *
279
00:11:27,968 --> 00:11:29,901
* he's a boy wearing orange
who's losing his pride *
280
00:11:29,936 --> 00:11:31,467
* 'cause kenny and
his family all reside *
281
00:11:31,502 --> 00:11:33,566
* in the ghetto
in the ghetto *
282
00:11:33,601 --> 00:11:34,300
Shut up, cartman, you
blood-Belching vagina!
283
00:11:34,335 --> 00:11:35,965
What did you say?!
284
00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:38,934
I said, shut up,
you blood-Belching vagina!
285
00:11:38,969 --> 00:11:39,998
What did you say?!
286
00:11:40,033 --> 00:11:43,250
I said shut up, cartman,
you blood-Belching vagina!
287
00:11:43,285 --> 00:11:46,467
Did i just call myself
a blood-Belching vagina?
288
00:11:46,502 --> 00:11:48,065
Dude, what the hell
is wrong with you?!
289
00:11:48,100 --> 00:11:50,200
I don't know, i just-
Keep feeling like i'm kenny,
290
00:11:50,235 --> 00:11:52,667
Seeing memories
through his eyes.
291
00:11:52,702 --> 00:11:54,968
You're too fat
to be kenny.
292
00:11:55,003 --> 00:11:56,752
You're a...
stupid jew.
293
00:11:56,787 --> 00:11:58,466
Let's just
keep building.
294
00:11:58,501 --> 00:12:01,167
We only have 5 more days
until the shopping spree.
295
00:12:01,202 --> 00:12:03,734
Alright, how's the
ladder going, general?
296
00:12:03,769 --> 00:12:04,300
Are we beating
the japanese?
297
00:12:04,335 --> 00:12:06,666
Not quite.
298
00:12:06,701 --> 00:12:07,965
But we have a new problem,
mr. President.
299
00:12:08,000 --> 00:12:10,400
Our recon team on the ladder
just found new evidence
300
00:12:10,435 --> 00:12:11,933
Of threats from
saddam hussein.
301
00:12:11,968 --> 00:12:14,767
Saddam hussein, but...
we killed him.
302
00:12:14,802 --> 00:12:17,567
We secretly took him out
months ago.
303
00:12:17,602 --> 00:12:19,065
Yes, sir,
and now we believe
304
00:12:19,100 --> 00:12:21,467
That he is building weapons
of mass destruction.
305
00:12:21,502 --> 00:12:23,065
In heaven.
306
00:12:23,100 --> 00:12:25,833
Dear christ, that son of
a bitch just doesn't stop.
307
00:12:25,868 --> 00:12:28,567
These surveillance photos
were taken atop the ladder
308
00:12:28,602 --> 00:12:30,499
Of what appears
to be heaven.
309
00:12:30,534 --> 00:12:31,998
Here we see what we believe
to be a missile silo.
310
00:12:32,033 --> 00:12:35,801
And here we see what looks like
a laboratory of some sort
311
00:12:35,836 --> 00:12:37,632
For making
chemical weapons.
312
00:12:37,667 --> 00:12:39,833
That kind of looks
like a seagull.
313
00:12:39,868 --> 00:12:43,200
Yes, it could be a laboratory
disguised as a seagull.
314
00:12:43,235 --> 00:12:44,732
That tricky bastard.
315
00:12:44,767 --> 00:12:46,234
Sir, you must
understand our fears.
316
00:12:46,269 --> 00:12:47,701
We must take out
those facilities.
317
00:12:47,736 --> 00:12:50,501
We must- Bomb heaven.
318
00:12:50,536 --> 00:12:53,232
Snn question of the day:
319
00:12:53,267 --> 00:12:55,133
Now that americans believe in
heaven, should we bomb it?
320
00:12:55,168 --> 00:12:57,567
The polls right now show
that 51% of americans
321
00:12:57,602 --> 00:12:58,998
Think saddam has to
be dealt with,
322
00:12:59,033 --> 00:13:01,601
While 49% are wimpy,
tree-Hugging pussies.
323
00:13:01,636 --> 00:13:03,199
War's not my voice!
324
00:13:03,234 --> 00:13:06,701
This country's just run by rednecks
and bumpkins with their guns!
325
00:13:06,736 --> 00:13:09,599
We have to take saddam out
to protect ourselves!
326
00:13:09,634 --> 00:13:12,734
I for one believe that if saddam
hussein were an 8-Year-Old boy
327
00:13:12,769 --> 00:13:14,601
And my penis were
the united states,
328
00:13:14,636 --> 00:13:16,435
Then there would-
329
00:13:16,470 --> 00:13:18,169
Hard nipples!
330
00:13:18,204 --> 00:13:19,586
God damn it.
331
00:13:19,621 --> 00:13:20,968
Ffffssshhh...
332
00:13:22,601 --> 00:13:24,734
Tom, it's been five days
since three sweet boys
333
00:13:24,769 --> 00:13:26,451
Set out to build
a ladder to heaven
334
00:13:26,486 --> 00:13:28,098
And captured
the nation's heart.
335
00:13:28,133 --> 00:13:31,100
They've made a nation believe
heaven might be up there-
336
00:13:31,135 --> 00:13:33,799
And it could prove to be
a threat to our country.
337
00:13:33,834 --> 00:13:37,167
President bush will seek u.N.
Approval for military action.
338
00:13:37,202 --> 00:13:39,165
Boys, it's really neat
339
00:13:39,200 --> 00:13:42,968
That you want to see your old
pal kenny so much, but-
340
00:13:43,003 --> 00:13:46,234
But, it's time for you
to get back to school
341
00:13:46,269 --> 00:13:47,768
And on with your lives.
342
00:13:47,803 --> 00:13:49,232
No, we have to
see kenny!
343
00:13:49,267 --> 00:13:52,267
You have to understand that
kenny's body isn't up in the clouds.
344
00:13:52,302 --> 00:13:53,766
He was cremated.
345
00:13:53,801 --> 00:13:54,998
Cremated?
What's that?
346
00:13:55,033 --> 00:13:57,534
When you die, your body is
put into a broiling oven
347
00:13:57,569 --> 00:13:59,234
And cooked until
you're nothing but ashes.
348
00:13:59,269 --> 00:14:02,499
What?!
For god's sake, why?!
349
00:14:02,534 --> 00:14:04,300
Kyle, its just what
some people do!
350
00:14:04,335 --> 00:14:05,599
Are you gonna burn me?!
351
00:14:05,634 --> 00:14:06,267
Kyle, that's not the
issue right now.
352
00:14:06,302 --> 00:14:08,132
Jesus christ!
353
00:14:08,167 --> 00:14:10,000
A person's ashes are
put into an urn,
354
00:14:10,035 --> 00:14:12,468
And that's where
kenny's body is.
355
00:14:12,503 --> 00:14:14,901
You see, boys,
kenny is in here.
356
00:14:14,936 --> 00:14:16,998
What the-
357
00:14:17,033 --> 00:14:21,532
Wait a minute!
This is kitty litter!
358
00:14:21,567 --> 00:14:23,400
Alright, alright, i drank
the chocolate milk mix
359
00:14:23,435 --> 00:14:25,067
And replaced it
with kitty litter.
360
00:14:25,102 --> 00:14:26,666
You what?!
361
00:14:26,701 --> 00:14:28,534
Dude, don't you know
what this means?
362
00:14:28,569 --> 00:14:30,334
You drank kenny!
363
00:14:30,369 --> 00:14:31,499
Shut up.
364
00:14:31,534 --> 00:14:32,666
You did, dude!
365
00:14:32,701 --> 00:14:34,200
You drank his
whole body!
366
00:14:34,235 --> 00:14:35,599
Shut up!
367
00:14:35,634 --> 00:14:39,167
Oh my god, this is awful!
And disgusting!
368
00:14:39,202 --> 00:14:41,818
Bad, eric, bad!
369
00:14:41,853 --> 00:14:44,399
That explains it-
370
00:14:44,434 --> 00:14:47,100
Why i'm having kenny's
memories all the time!
371
00:14:47,135 --> 00:14:47,933
His soul is inside me!
372
00:14:47,968 --> 00:14:50,199
Well, so much for
our winning ticket.
373
00:14:50,234 --> 00:14:51,234
Cartman probably drank that
with the rest of kenny.
374
00:14:51,269 --> 00:14:53,718
Yeah, good job, fat-Ass!
375
00:14:53,753 --> 00:14:55,677
I can't live like this.
376
00:14:55,712 --> 00:14:57,566
I- I have to
find a place
377
00:14:57,601 --> 00:15:00,033
Where they remove living souls
from your body!
378
00:15:03,200 --> 00:15:04,200
Looks like i've come
to the right place.
379
00:15:04,235 --> 00:15:06,466
Can i help you?
380
00:15:06,501 --> 00:15:08,334
Yes, hello, i have a
living thing inside of me
381
00:15:08,369 --> 00:15:09,918
That i need
sucked out, please.
382
00:15:09,953 --> 00:15:11,467
You'll have to make
an appointment.
383
00:15:11,502 --> 00:15:13,365
The charge is $230.
384
00:15:13,400 --> 00:15:15,200
$230?! I just want you
to vacuum him out of me
385
00:15:15,235 --> 00:15:18,067
And not put him up
in a condominium!
386
00:15:18,102 --> 00:15:19,132
It's gonna be
okay, babe.
387
00:15:19,167 --> 00:15:21,200
Listen, lady, you gotta
get this crap out of me!
388
00:15:21,235 --> 00:15:23,432
I don't want him
in me anymore!
389
00:15:23,467 --> 00:15:25,299
Just suck him up
and throw him out!
390
00:15:25,334 --> 00:15:27,868
Oh steven, i can't go
through with this.
391
00:15:27,903 --> 00:15:29,951
I have to keep it!
392
00:15:29,986 --> 00:15:32,093
Dammit!
Dammit!
393
00:15:32,128 --> 00:15:34,200
Thanks a lot, kid!
394
00:15:34,235 --> 00:15:36,200
Eh!
395
00:15:38,434 --> 00:15:39,833
Kenny, kenny!
396
00:15:39,868 --> 00:15:42,601
Kenny, lolly's candyland is
giving away a shopping spree!
397
00:15:42,636 --> 00:15:44,200
We're all gonna pitch in
on an entry!
398
00:15:44,235 --> 00:15:46,132
Alright, there you go.
399
00:15:46,167 --> 00:15:48,532
Hold on to that
ticket stub.
400
00:15:48,567 --> 00:15:50,367
Hold onto this, cartman,
i might lose it.
401
00:15:50,402 --> 00:15:52,734
No, i'll lose it
for sure.
402
00:15:52,769 --> 00:15:55,067
You keep track
of it, kyle.
403
00:15:55,102 --> 00:15:56,065
Okay.
404
00:15:56,100 --> 00:15:57,567
No, i don't want that
much responsibility.
405
00:15:57,602 --> 00:15:59,167
Here, you hold
onto it, kenny.
406
00:15:59,202 --> 00:16:01,666
Okay.
407
00:16:01,701 --> 00:16:03,000
You better not lose
that ticket, kenny,
408
00:16:03,035 --> 00:16:04,300
Else i will kick you
in the nuts!
409
00:16:04,335 --> 00:16:07,033
The nuts, the nuts...
410
00:16:14,367 --> 00:16:15,965
The ticket!
411
00:16:16,000 --> 00:16:18,267
Kenny didn't have it on him
when he died,
412
00:16:18,302 --> 00:16:20,000
He put it away
somewhere!
413
00:16:20,035 --> 00:16:20,933
Don't you see?
414
00:16:20,968 --> 00:16:22,534
I can still have my
candy shopping spree!
415
00:16:22,569 --> 00:16:23,334
Oh my god,
you guys!
416
00:16:23,369 --> 00:16:26,599
You guys!
417
00:16:26,634 --> 00:16:28,766
Ladies and gentlemen
of the u.N.
418
00:16:28,801 --> 00:16:31,400
We have evidence that
saddam hussein is up there
419
00:16:31,435 --> 00:16:33,332
Building weapons
of mass destruction.
420
00:16:33,367 --> 00:16:36,133
We have tried to communicate
with saddam, through a psychic,
421
00:16:36,168 --> 00:16:39,267
To ask him to let us see
his warehouses in heaven,
422
00:16:39,302 --> 00:16:41,968
But he has not
responded.
423
00:16:43,868 --> 00:16:45,300
Of course he has not responded
because he's dead!
424
00:16:45,335 --> 00:16:47,401
Right, dead
and in heaven.
425
00:16:47,436 --> 00:16:49,432
This is
preposterous!
426
00:16:49,467 --> 00:16:50,866
Even if there
was a heaven,
427
00:16:50,901 --> 00:16:52,334
What makes you think
saddam hussein's soul
428
00:16:52,369 --> 00:16:53,632
Would be sent there?
429
00:16:53,667 --> 00:16:54,833
Our intelligence
tells us
430
00:16:54,868 --> 00:16:55,834
That when saddam was
originally killed
431
00:16:55,869 --> 00:16:57,766
His soul actually
went to hell.
432
00:16:57,801 --> 00:16:59,100
But while in hell he began
a homosexual relationship
433
00:16:59,135 --> 00:17:02,165
With satan,
the prince of darkness.
434
00:17:02,200 --> 00:17:04,701
Satan, however, decided he didn't
wanna be with hussein anymore
435
00:17:04,736 --> 00:17:06,532
And broke up with him
around august.
436
00:17:06,567 --> 00:17:09,133
When saddam became jealous and tried
to kill satan's new lover, chris,
437
00:17:09,168 --> 00:17:12,934
Satan had saddam sent to heaven
to live with the mormons
438
00:17:12,969 --> 00:17:14,234
As punishment.
439
00:17:17,400 --> 00:17:20,334
Questions?
440
00:17:20,369 --> 00:17:21,998
Yes?
441
00:17:22,033 --> 00:17:25,567
Are you high or just
incredibly stupid?
442
00:17:25,602 --> 00:17:28,567
I assure you-
I am not high.
443
00:17:32,400 --> 00:17:34,534
You guys, you guys!
I saw the ticket!
444
00:17:34,569 --> 00:17:35,833
What do you mean,
fat-Ass?
445
00:17:35,868 --> 00:17:37,251
I had another vision,
you buttholes!
446
00:17:37,286 --> 00:17:38,634
Kenny didn't keep
the ticket with him.
447
00:17:38,669 --> 00:17:39,968
He put it away
somewhere.
448
00:17:40,003 --> 00:17:40,933
Where?!
449
00:17:40,968 --> 00:17:42,065
I don't know!
450
00:17:42,100 --> 00:17:43,634
I got conked in the head down
at the abortion clinic
451
00:17:43,669 --> 00:17:45,033
And i clearly saw kenny
putting the ticket
452
00:17:45,068 --> 00:17:46,065
In a little a red box.
453
00:17:46,100 --> 00:17:48,000
I just have to wait for
another vision to come.
454
00:17:48,035 --> 00:17:49,901
I could clearly see through
kenny's- Ugh!
455
00:17:54,968 --> 00:17:56,400
You see anything?
456
00:17:56,435 --> 00:17:58,165
Yes, kyle...
457
00:17:58,200 --> 00:17:59,599
I see a dead jew!
458
00:17:59,634 --> 00:18:00,917
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Maybe kyle's right-
459
00:18:00,952 --> 00:18:02,343
We gotta spark
the vision somehow.
460
00:18:02,378 --> 00:18:03,699
Not by giving me
brain damage!
461
00:18:03,734 --> 00:18:05,200
Do you want a candy
shopping spree or not?
462
00:18:07,267 --> 00:18:09,167
Alright, go ahead.
463
00:18:09,202 --> 00:18:10,984
Ah!
464
00:18:11,019 --> 00:18:12,376
No.
465
00:18:12,411 --> 00:18:13,699
Ah!
466
00:18:13,734 --> 00:18:16,032
Randy, gerald, we were
wrong about heaven.
467
00:18:16,067 --> 00:18:18,834
The japanese just reached it
with their ladder.
468
00:18:18,869 --> 00:18:19,299
What?
469
00:18:19,334 --> 00:18:21,699
See for yourself.
470
00:18:21,734 --> 00:18:25,567
This is nobunaga hiroichi
reporting rive from heaben.
471
00:18:25,602 --> 00:18:27,968
The great nation of japan
reached heaben today
472
00:18:28,003 --> 00:18:30,334
About 8:00
pacific standard time.
473
00:18:30,369 --> 00:18:33,199
Ohhh!
474
00:18:33,234 --> 00:18:35,400
Therefore, heaben
is now declared
475
00:18:35,435 --> 00:18:37,134
An official
part of japan.
476
00:18:37,169 --> 00:18:38,799
Because we got here first.
477
00:18:38,834 --> 00:18:40,634
And now for the
weather in heaben
478
00:18:40,669 --> 00:18:42,632
Let's go to
natsuko sen.
479
00:18:42,667 --> 00:18:45,833
Partly cloudy.
480
00:18:45,868 --> 00:18:48,868
That's the news
from heaben.
481
00:18:53,868 --> 00:18:56,133
Oh god, and we told our boys
they'd never reach heaven.
482
00:18:56,168 --> 00:18:58,033
Kids!
483
00:19:01,567 --> 00:19:03,634
Good, as soon as the boys
finish their ladder
484
00:19:03,669 --> 00:19:05,399
We'll be ready to
take saddam out.
485
00:19:05,434 --> 00:19:08,134
Do you really think this is
a good idea, randy?
486
00:19:08,169 --> 00:19:10,834
If saddam is building weapons,
we have to stop him.
487
00:19:10,869 --> 00:19:12,335
With our weapons.
488
00:19:12,370 --> 00:19:13,766
Excuse me, everyone!
489
00:19:13,801 --> 00:19:15,167
We're not working on
the ladder anymore.
490
00:19:15,202 --> 00:19:16,801
Thank you, we're done.
491
00:19:18,901 --> 00:19:19,833
Ohh...
492
00:19:19,868 --> 00:19:20,899
Not working on
the ladder?
493
00:19:20,934 --> 00:19:22,767
But the japanese
won't let us use theirs.
494
00:19:22,802 --> 00:19:23,467
Kenny didn't have
the ticket stub,
495
00:19:23,502 --> 00:19:25,032
It was in his room!
496
00:19:25,067 --> 00:19:27,167
So we got all our candy
and you can all go home!
497
00:19:27,202 --> 00:19:28,599
Wait, are you saying
498
00:19:28,634 --> 00:19:31,234
That you boys only wanted
to build a ladder to heaven
499
00:19:31,269 --> 00:19:33,699
So you could
get some candy?
500
00:19:33,734 --> 00:19:36,300
I've never heard the words
"only" and "candy"
501
00:19:36,335 --> 00:19:37,833
In the same
sentence before.
502
00:19:37,868 --> 00:19:39,317
But what about
your lost friend?
503
00:19:39,352 --> 00:19:40,732
What about your
fragile innocence
504
00:19:40,767 --> 00:19:42,317
In believing we could
all get to heaven?
505
00:19:42,352 --> 00:19:43,833
Yeah, well, people
make us kids believe
506
00:19:43,868 --> 00:19:46,051
That heaven is this white place
with fluffy clouds and angels.
507
00:19:46,086 --> 00:19:48,234
Yeah, but now we think maybe
heaven isn't a place you can get to.
508
00:19:48,269 --> 00:19:50,833
Maybe heaven is
just an idea.
509
00:19:50,868 --> 00:19:53,450
A frame of mind,
or something gay like that.
510
00:19:53,485 --> 00:19:55,998
Maybe heaven...
is this moment right now.
511
00:19:56,033 --> 00:20:01,100
So, you're saying we should
bomb this moment right now?
512
00:20:01,135 --> 00:20:02,199
Right, johnson!
Sir!
513
00:20:02,234 --> 00:20:04,334
No, no!
We shouldn't bomb anybody.
514
00:20:04,369 --> 00:20:05,666
These boys are right.
515
00:20:05,701 --> 00:20:08,734
The only heaven we can hope for
is one here on earth, now.
516
00:20:08,769 --> 00:20:10,133
We should stop waiting
to get into heaven
517
00:20:10,168 --> 00:20:13,868
And start trying
to create it.
518
00:20:13,903 --> 00:20:15,332
Aww...
519
00:20:15,367 --> 00:20:17,200
Oh, that's
so beautiful.
520
00:20:19,434 --> 00:20:20,899
And i was dumb enough
to believe
521
00:20:20,934 --> 00:20:24,000
Saddam could actually be
up there building bombs.
522
00:20:24,035 --> 00:20:25,265
* where were you *
523
00:20:25,300 --> 00:20:28,167
* when they decided heaven
was a more intangible idea *
524
00:20:28,202 --> 00:20:31,501
* and couldn't, couldn't
really get there *
525
00:20:31,536 --> 00:20:34,385
You little bastards
ruined my latest song!
526
00:20:34,420 --> 00:20:37,234
Well, i'm sure glad
this is all over with.
527
00:20:37,269 --> 00:20:38,551
Let's go count our candy.
528
00:20:38,586 --> 00:20:39,799
Yeah, but what
about kenny?
529
00:20:39,834 --> 00:20:41,317
His soul is still
in cartman's body.
530
00:20:41,352 --> 00:20:42,766
No, no, i just drank
his memories.
531
00:20:42,801 --> 00:20:44,334
I'm not sharing my body
with that poor piece of crap.
532
00:20:44,369 --> 00:20:47,033
Stop calling me poor,
you fat dick!
533
00:20:47,068 --> 00:20:48,299
Oh, jesus christ.
534
00:20:48,334 --> 00:20:50,834
Whoa, kenny,
you in there?
535
00:20:50,869 --> 00:20:51,699
Stop it!
536
00:20:51,734 --> 00:20:53,234
Where am i, you guys?
Oh god!
537
00:20:53,269 --> 00:20:54,400
Dude,
come back here!
538
00:20:54,435 --> 00:20:55,200
Stop him, kenny!
539
00:20:59,667 --> 00:21:02,734
Keep those nitrogen capsules
over there by the warheads.
540
00:21:02,769 --> 00:21:05,432
Right, chop chop!
Come on!
541
00:21:05,467 --> 00:21:07,433
Saddam, i've been
hearing rumors
542
00:21:07,468 --> 00:21:09,365
That you're
secretly building
543
00:21:09,400 --> 00:21:11,434
Weapons of mass
destruction up here.
544
00:21:11,469 --> 00:21:13,332
Weapons of
mass destruction!
545
00:21:13,367 --> 00:21:16,617
No, this is a chocolate chip
factory, see?
546
00:21:16,652 --> 00:21:19,868
It looks like
a chemical weapons plant.
547
00:21:19,903 --> 00:21:20,933
Look, god,
548
00:21:20,968 --> 00:21:23,299
If i was gonna secretly build
a chemical weapons plant
549
00:21:23,334 --> 00:21:26,267
I wouldn't make it look like a
chemical weapons plant, would i?
550
00:21:26,302 --> 00:21:27,732
I'd make it look like
551
00:21:27,767 --> 00:21:30,067
A chocolate chip factory
or something.
552
00:21:30,102 --> 00:21:32,167
Alright, just checking.
553
00:21:34,267 --> 00:21:35,767
Stupid asshole.
37649
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