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1
00:00:08,467 --> 00:00:10,100
* i'm going down
to south park *
2
00:00:10,135 --> 00:00:11,734
* gonna have
myself a time *
3
00:00:11,769 --> 00:00:13,299
* friendly faces
everywhere *
4
00:00:13,334 --> 00:00:14,300
* humble folks
without temptation *
5
00:00:14,335 --> 00:00:16,351
* going down
to south park *
6
00:00:16,386 --> 00:00:18,143
* gonna leave my
woes behind *
7
00:00:18,178 --> 00:00:19,866
* ample parking
day or night *
8
00:00:19,901 --> 00:00:21,667
* people spouting
"howdy neighbor" *
9
00:00:21,702 --> 00:00:22,968
* headin' on up
to south park *
10
00:00:23,003 --> 00:00:24,199
* gonna see
if i can't unwind *
11
00:00:24,234 --> 00:00:28,501
* tim-Tmah tim-Mah,
tim-Mah tim-Mah timmy tim-Mah *
12
00:00:28,536 --> 00:00:30,585
* so come on down
to south park *
13
00:00:30,620 --> 00:00:32,634
* and meet some
friends of mine *
14
00:00:34,334 --> 00:00:36,799
Oh cool, a preview!
15
00:00:36,834 --> 00:00:38,599
Coming this summer,
16
00:00:38,634 --> 00:00:41,234
It's the classic film
that changed america.
17
00:00:41,269 --> 00:00:42,933
"E.T. The extra-Terrestrial"!
18
00:00:42,968 --> 00:00:46,199
The new, redone version
for 2002!
19
00:00:46,234 --> 00:00:48,566
All the e.T. Effects have been
digitally upgraded.
20
00:00:48,601 --> 00:00:50,968
All the guns have been digitally
changed to walkie-Talkies.
21
00:00:51,003 --> 00:00:53,267
And the word "terrorist" has
been changed to "hippie".
22
00:00:53,302 --> 00:00:55,532
Aw, dude, why would
they do that?
23
00:00:55,567 --> 00:00:57,450
Yeah, hippies and terrorists
are the same thing.
24
00:00:57,485 --> 00:00:59,334
No, dude, spielberg changed
terrorist to hippie
25
00:00:59,369 --> 00:01:00,300
To make e.T. More p.C.
26
00:01:00,335 --> 00:01:02,232
That's gay.
27
00:01:02,267 --> 00:01:03,833
Coming this summer,
28
00:01:03,868 --> 00:01:06,751
It's the motion picture
that changed america.
29
00:01:06,786 --> 00:01:08,877
"Saving private ryan",
the re-Re-Release,
30
00:01:08,912 --> 00:01:10,873
Where the word "nazi"
has been changed to
31
00:01:10,908 --> 00:01:12,799
"Persons with political
differences".
32
00:01:12,834 --> 00:01:15,701
And all the guns have been
replaced by walkie-Talkies.
33
00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:26,400
Why the hell do these directors
keep updating their movies?!
34
00:01:26,435 --> 00:01:28,300
And now for your
feature presentation!
35
00:01:28,335 --> 00:01:30,365
The classic re-Re-Re-Release
36
00:01:30,400 --> 00:01:32,267
Of "star wars: the empire
strikes back!
37
00:01:32,302 --> 00:01:34,767
Woo hoo!
38
00:01:40,033 --> 00:01:43,432
Aaaaaghhh!
39
00:01:43,467 --> 00:01:44,883
God dammit,
that pisses me off!
40
00:01:44,918 --> 00:01:46,300
Yeah, we want
our money back!
41
00:01:46,335 --> 00:01:47,867
Sorry, suckers!
42
00:01:47,902 --> 00:01:49,365
You asshole!
43
00:01:49,400 --> 00:01:50,868
Why don't they leave
those movies alone!
44
00:01:50,903 --> 00:01:52,352
We liked them the way
they were!
45
00:01:52,387 --> 00:01:53,766
Don't you see
what this means?
46
00:01:53,801 --> 00:01:55,834
All our favorite movies are
going to be changed and updated
47
00:01:55,869 --> 00:01:57,601
Until we can't even
recognize them anymore!
48
00:01:57,636 --> 00:01:58,732
Tweek is right.
49
00:01:58,767 --> 00:02:00,299
It isn't fair for those
asshole directors
50
00:02:00,334 --> 00:02:01,734
To keep changing their movies
and making them different!
51
00:02:01,769 --> 00:02:03,434
Movies are art and art
shouldn't be modified!
52
00:02:03,469 --> 00:02:04,718
Yeah, what if
they had modified
53
00:02:04,753 --> 00:02:05,933
The roman colosseum
every year?
54
00:02:05,968 --> 00:02:07,734
It would just be another
big "douchie" stadium now!
55
00:02:07,769 --> 00:02:08,467
We have to
do something!
56
00:02:08,502 --> 00:02:09,332
Let's form a club!
57
00:02:09,367 --> 00:02:10,399
Yeah, we could
form a club
58
00:02:10,434 --> 00:02:12,699
That takes food stamps
from poor people
59
00:02:12,734 --> 00:02:14,234
And then sells them back to
the government for a profit!
60
00:02:14,269 --> 00:02:15,632
No, fat-Ass!
61
00:02:15,667 --> 00:02:16,634
I mean a club to protect
films from their directors
62
00:02:16,669 --> 00:02:18,299
So they can't be
messed with!
63
00:02:18,334 --> 00:02:20,968
Yeah, we'll be the "save films
from their own directors' club".
64
00:02:21,003 --> 00:02:21,899
Yeah!
65
00:02:21,934 --> 00:02:22,998
No!
No, no!
66
00:02:23,033 --> 00:02:24,601
I don't wanna form a club!
That's too much pressure!
67
00:02:24,636 --> 00:02:25,632
Look, i'm supposed to
take it easy.
68
00:02:25,667 --> 00:02:27,399
Just watch the clouds,
sit in the grass.
69
00:02:27,434 --> 00:02:29,100
If we form a club there'll be
responsibilities,
70
00:02:29,135 --> 00:02:29,632
Commitments!
71
00:02:29,667 --> 00:02:30,566
Tweek, now god dammit,
72
00:02:30,601 --> 00:02:32,566
We picked you to
replace kenny
73
00:02:32,601 --> 00:02:33,234
Because we thought you were
a team player!
74
00:02:33,269 --> 00:02:34,232
I'm not!
75
00:02:34,267 --> 00:02:36,032
I'm not
a team player!
76
00:02:36,067 --> 00:02:37,501
Now either you stop with
these "faggotronics"
77
00:02:37,536 --> 00:02:38,601
Or we'll find someone
to replace you!
78
00:02:38,636 --> 00:02:40,901
Aaagh!
Oh, jesus!
79
00:02:43,434 --> 00:02:46,033
Dude, that sign sucks,
nobody's gonna show up!
80
00:02:46,068 --> 00:02:47,251
What's wrong with it?
81
00:02:47,286 --> 00:02:48,399
Look at it, dude,
82
00:02:48,434 --> 00:02:49,934
You're not offering
any fabulous prizes.
83
00:02:49,969 --> 00:02:51,532
You have to offer
fabulous prizes
84
00:02:51,567 --> 00:02:52,334
If you want people to show up
for your stupid crap.
85
00:02:52,369 --> 00:02:54,234
Here...
86
00:02:56,367 --> 00:02:57,666
Free hat?
87
00:02:57,701 --> 00:02:59,400
Yeah, if you offer free hats,
maybe people will show up.
88
00:02:59,435 --> 00:03:00,632
But we don't
have hats!
89
00:03:00,667 --> 00:03:01,699
We can make them
out of paper.
90
00:03:01,734 --> 00:03:03,267
It's not hard, just stupid
little paper hats.
91
00:03:03,302 --> 00:03:05,068
People just need free stuff.
92
00:03:05,103 --> 00:03:06,834
Don't you guys
know anything?
93
00:03:06,869 --> 00:03:07,998
You see?
94
00:03:08,033 --> 00:03:09,501
First we were just forming a
club, now we have to make hats!
95
00:03:09,536 --> 00:03:10,632
Where does it end?!
96
00:03:10,667 --> 00:03:11,834
Alright, let's go get
the gymnasium ready.
97
00:03:11,869 --> 00:03:12,567
Tweek, you go make
50 hats.
98
00:03:12,602 --> 00:03:14,866
50 hats?
Oh jesus!
99
00:03:14,901 --> 00:03:18,200
I'll never make it!
I'll never make it!
100
00:03:18,235 --> 00:03:19,299
Tweek!
101
00:03:19,334 --> 00:03:20,833
Calm down, son.
102
00:03:20,868 --> 00:03:22,234
Remember what
dr. Norris told you-
103
00:03:22,269 --> 00:03:23,534
Find your center.
104
00:03:23,569 --> 00:03:24,518
My center?
105
00:03:24,553 --> 00:03:25,432
My center.
106
00:03:25,467 --> 00:03:29,100
Calm... puppies.
107
00:03:34,267 --> 00:03:35,783
Tweek!
108
00:03:35,818 --> 00:03:37,265
Tweek!
109
00:03:37,300 --> 00:03:38,499
Tweeeeeekk!
110
00:03:38,534 --> 00:03:40,067
How many hats
have you made?
111
00:03:40,102 --> 00:03:41,132
Oh god!
112
00:03:41,167 --> 00:03:43,000
We only have until 10 a.M.
Tomorrow, get the lead out!
113
00:03:43,035 --> 00:03:44,234
Aagh, oh god!
114
00:03:47,234 --> 00:03:49,250
You guys,
we have a big problem!
115
00:03:49,285 --> 00:03:51,267
I was up all night
making hats-
116
00:03:51,302 --> 00:03:52,599
I only slept for an hour-
117
00:03:52,634 --> 00:03:53,334
And then i dreamt about
making hats!
118
00:03:53,369 --> 00:03:55,466
But i only made 15!
119
00:03:55,501 --> 00:03:57,165
Calm down, tweek.
15 might be enough.
120
00:03:57,200 --> 00:03:59,767
Yeah, let's see if anyone's
even shown up yet.
121
00:04:04,100 --> 00:04:06,567
Dude, there's like a thousand
people in there!
122
00:04:06,602 --> 00:04:08,132
A thousand?
Oh jesus, man!
123
00:04:08,167 --> 00:04:09,600
I don't have nearly
a thousand hats!
124
00:04:09,635 --> 00:04:11,033
They're gonna kick
your ass, tweek!
125
00:04:11,068 --> 00:04:12,199
Tweek, it's okay!
126
00:04:12,234 --> 00:04:13,950
Look, maybe these people
all turned out
127
00:04:13,985 --> 00:04:15,632
Because they believe
in saving films!
128
00:04:15,667 --> 00:04:17,467
Maybe they don't even care
about the free hat!
129
00:04:17,502 --> 00:04:19,267
Free hat!
Free hat!...
130
00:04:19,302 --> 00:04:21,165
Oh god!
131
00:04:21,200 --> 00:04:22,265
I told you guys-
132
00:04:22,300 --> 00:04:24,634
Never underestimate
the power of a free hat.
133
00:04:24,669 --> 00:04:26,499
I gotta move away,
you guys!
134
00:04:26,534 --> 00:04:27,367
Relax, tweek, we're just gonna
have to go in there
135
00:04:27,402 --> 00:04:29,199
And explain what happened.
136
00:04:29,234 --> 00:04:32,367
There are more important things
right now than free hats.
137
00:04:33,567 --> 00:04:36,132
Okay, uh, we wanna thank you
all for coming.
138
00:04:36,167 --> 00:04:40,734
We're really happy to see such
enthusiasm for our cause.
139
00:04:40,769 --> 00:04:42,332
Uh, one thing
before i continue:
140
00:04:42,367 --> 00:04:45,534
Unfortunately, we don't have enough
of the free hats for everyone.
141
00:04:47,200 --> 00:04:48,833
Uh, excuse me?
142
00:04:48,868 --> 00:04:51,300
Yes, we apologize,
but our friend tweek here,
143
00:04:51,335 --> 00:04:52,632
Didn't make
enough of them.
144
00:04:52,667 --> 00:04:54,467
Oh jesus, don't
tell them it was me!
145
00:04:54,502 --> 00:04:56,000
We don't care about that.
146
00:04:56,035 --> 00:04:57,165
You don't?
147
00:04:57,200 --> 00:04:59,100
You mean you just came because
you believe in our cause?
148
00:04:59,135 --> 00:04:59,434
Yeah, free hat!
149
00:04:59,469 --> 00:05:01,265
What?!
150
00:05:01,300 --> 00:05:02,566
Hat mccullough!
151
00:05:02,601 --> 00:05:03,599
He was sent to
prison in '82
152
00:05:03,634 --> 00:05:05,701
And we believe he should
be released!
153
00:05:05,736 --> 00:05:06,599
Yeah!
154
00:05:06,634 --> 00:05:08,767
Free hat!
Free hat!...
155
00:05:11,634 --> 00:05:12,934
Okay, apparently, there's been
a bit of a misunderstanding.
156
00:05:12,969 --> 00:05:16,868
This is a rally to save films
from their directors.
157
00:05:18,234 --> 00:05:20,299
To do what?
158
00:05:20,334 --> 00:05:22,067
We believe that films are pieces
of art that must be preserved
159
00:05:22,102 --> 00:05:24,400
From the perverse hands
of their aging filmmakers.
160
00:05:24,435 --> 00:05:26,098
Oh... sorry.
161
00:05:26,133 --> 00:05:28,267
Come on, everyone, guess
we're in the wrong place.
162
00:05:28,302 --> 00:05:30,051
Free hat!
Free hat!
163
00:05:30,086 --> 00:05:31,766
Wait, wait, wait!
164
00:05:31,801 --> 00:05:33,232
Don't you see what's happening
out there?
165
00:05:33,267 --> 00:05:35,950
The films that you all grew up
with, that touched your lives
166
00:05:35,985 --> 00:05:38,634
And are a part of your soul, are
now being updated and changed.
167
00:05:38,669 --> 00:05:41,434
Join us and we can be a group
that makes a difference!
168
00:05:41,469 --> 00:05:44,934
Can we also work towards
freeing hat?
169
00:05:44,969 --> 00:05:48,400
Uh, sure, and we'll also
try to free hat.
170
00:05:50,133 --> 00:05:51,501
Free hat!
Free hat!...
171
00:05:54,267 --> 00:05:56,350
212, 213, 214 members!
172
00:05:56,385 --> 00:05:58,399
You guys, you guys!
173
00:05:58,434 --> 00:05:59,234
Oh god!
I've got terrible news!
174
00:05:59,269 --> 00:06:01,332
What?
175
00:06:01,367 --> 00:06:02,634
Ted koppel wants us
to appear on "nightline"
176
00:06:02,669 --> 00:06:03,618
To talk about our cause!
177
00:06:03,653 --> 00:06:05,026
Really?
That's great!
178
00:06:05,061 --> 00:06:06,365
No, it isn't, man!
179
00:06:06,400 --> 00:06:07,833
That is way
too much pressure!
180
00:06:07,868 --> 00:06:09,334
If we go on nightline, the whole
country can hear about
181
00:06:09,369 --> 00:06:11,051
What's happening to
our classic films!
182
00:06:11,086 --> 00:06:12,734
Just remember that
i do all the talking.
183
00:06:12,769 --> 00:06:13,766
You? Why?
184
00:06:13,801 --> 00:06:15,334
Because i'm the
official spokesman.
185
00:06:15,369 --> 00:06:16,532
I got dibs on it.
186
00:06:16,567 --> 00:06:18,032
When did we do
dibs for it?
187
00:06:18,067 --> 00:06:19,167
Just now.
One two three- Dibs!
188
00:06:19,202 --> 00:06:20,666
Knee.
189
00:06:20,701 --> 00:06:22,767
Alright, fine, you're
the spokesman, cartman.
190
00:06:22,802 --> 00:06:24,835
But you better not
screw it up!
191
00:06:24,870 --> 00:06:26,833
What could
possibly go wrong?
192
00:06:26,868 --> 00:06:28,666
A new movement is
sweeping the country,
193
00:06:28,701 --> 00:06:30,867
Led by four determined boys
from south park, colorado.
194
00:06:30,902 --> 00:06:33,801
The organization was created
to protect hollywood's
195
00:06:33,836 --> 00:06:36,701
Classic films from the hands
of their directors,
196
00:06:36,736 --> 00:06:38,766
And also to free
hat mccullough.
197
00:06:38,801 --> 00:06:40,200
So boys, i'll ask you the question
that's on everyone's minds.
198
00:06:40,235 --> 00:06:43,951
Why does your organization want
to free hat mccullough,
199
00:06:43,986 --> 00:06:47,667
The convicted, confessed serial
murderer of 23 babies?
200
00:06:50,267 --> 00:06:51,733
I believe that can
best be answered
201
00:06:51,768 --> 00:06:53,200
By our official
spokesman, tweek.
202
00:06:53,235 --> 00:06:54,632
Agh!
203
00:06:54,667 --> 00:06:56,767
Well, hat mccullough admitted
he killed those toddlers,
204
00:06:56,802 --> 00:06:58,434
Why do you want him free?
205
00:06:58,469 --> 00:07:00,799
Oh, jesus, man!
206
00:07:00,834 --> 00:07:02,132
Just answer me
this, tweek-
207
00:07:02,167 --> 00:07:05,367
What do you see as positive
about toddler murder?
208
00:07:05,402 --> 00:07:09,801
Uh, uh, it's...
it's easy?
209
00:07:09,836 --> 00:07:12,232
Yes, it is easy.
210
00:07:12,267 --> 00:07:14,384
Alright, then on to
your other cause.
211
00:07:14,419 --> 00:07:16,093
"Saving films from
their directors".
212
00:07:16,128 --> 00:07:17,732
What got you boys
interested in this?
213
00:07:17,767 --> 00:07:19,965
Especially given your
pro-Toddler murder status.
214
00:07:20,000 --> 00:07:22,083
We believe that films have to be
taken away from people like
215
00:07:22,118 --> 00:07:24,167
Steven spielberg and george
lucas because they're insane.
216
00:07:24,202 --> 00:07:26,300
I'm glad you said that, boys,
because joining us now
217
00:07:26,335 --> 00:07:28,467
Are steven spielberg
and george lucas!
218
00:07:28,502 --> 00:07:29,199
Oh christ, agh!
219
00:07:29,234 --> 00:07:30,866
Hello, ted.
Hi, ted.
220
00:07:30,901 --> 00:07:33,650
Gentlemen, these toddler murder
fans think that you're insane
221
00:07:33,685 --> 00:07:36,400
And shouldn't be allowed to
alter your films. Your response?
222
00:07:36,435 --> 00:07:37,666
Well, first of all,
both george and i
223
00:07:37,701 --> 00:07:40,901
Are very firmly against
the murdering of toddlers.
224
00:07:40,936 --> 00:07:41,866
Hear, hear.
225
00:07:41,901 --> 00:07:43,267
Dude, that's steven spielberg
and george lucas.
226
00:07:43,302 --> 00:07:44,432
Get me out of here!
227
00:07:44,467 --> 00:07:45,601
Please somebody get me
out of here!
228
00:07:45,636 --> 00:07:46,866
And as for
altering our films,
229
00:07:46,901 --> 00:07:49,550
All we're doing reaching a
new audience with our movies.
230
00:07:49,585 --> 00:07:52,200
As the makers of dreams, we like
to speak for the children.
231
00:07:52,235 --> 00:07:55,100
Uh, we thought we were
speaking for the children.
232
00:07:55,135 --> 00:07:56,299
Yeah, we're children.
233
00:07:56,334 --> 00:07:58,634
Look, if the beatles went back
and updated "the white album"
234
00:07:58,669 --> 00:08:00,432
Every few years,
what would we have now?
235
00:08:00,467 --> 00:08:02,400
Yeah, these guys are only
motivated by money, ted.
236
00:08:02,435 --> 00:08:03,532
How so?
237
00:08:03,567 --> 00:08:05,433
Think about it-
Jew.
238
00:08:05,468 --> 00:08:06,951
Jew.
Jew.
239
00:08:06,986 --> 00:08:08,393
Coincidence?
240
00:08:08,428 --> 00:08:09,766
I'm not a jew!
241
00:08:09,801 --> 00:08:11,968
You little brats- I mean,
you darling children
242
00:08:12,003 --> 00:08:13,766
Don't know what
you're talking about.
243
00:08:13,801 --> 00:08:16,267
Changing e.T. Was the
best thing i ever did.
244
00:08:16,302 --> 00:08:17,732
Dude, don't you see
that it's not?
245
00:08:17,767 --> 00:08:21,200
It'd be like changing
"raiders of the lost ark"!
246
00:08:21,235 --> 00:08:23,367
Wait a minute,
what did you say?
247
00:08:23,402 --> 00:08:24,732
That's brilliant!
248
00:08:24,767 --> 00:08:26,050
Yes, change raiders
of the lost ark,
249
00:08:26,085 --> 00:08:27,334
Why didn't we
think of it before?
250
00:08:27,369 --> 00:08:29,200
No! No!
251
00:08:33,767 --> 00:08:35,766
Members, this is our
darkest hour.
252
00:08:35,801 --> 00:08:38,484
We have just learned that
george lucas and steven spielberg
253
00:08:38,519 --> 00:08:41,167
Now intend to update and change
"raiders of the lost ark".
254
00:08:42,734 --> 00:08:44,167
There is only one way we can
stop this important,
255
00:08:44,202 --> 00:08:46,367
Historical piece of art
from being harmed.
256
00:08:46,402 --> 00:08:47,668
Mr. Secretary?
257
00:08:47,703 --> 00:08:48,899
Thank you.
258
00:08:48,934 --> 00:08:50,567
Our intelligence tells us that
the original negative
259
00:08:50,602 --> 00:08:51,833
To raiders of the lost ark
260
00:08:51,868 --> 00:08:53,667
Is currently somewhere
in george lucas' house.
261
00:08:53,702 --> 00:08:55,484
We need to find
and usurp that negative.
262
00:08:55,519 --> 00:08:57,267
And if we can get a hold
of the negative,
263
00:08:57,302 --> 00:08:58,451
They can't change
the movie?
264
00:08:58,486 --> 00:08:59,566
That's our
understanding.
265
00:08:59,601 --> 00:09:01,632
Sounds like
a good idea to me!
266
00:09:01,667 --> 00:09:03,400
I don't want them to change
raiders of the lost ark!
267
00:09:03,435 --> 00:09:04,899
Yeah!
268
00:09:04,934 --> 00:09:07,901
We should get that negative
as soon as we get hat free!
269
00:09:07,936 --> 00:09:08,933
Yeah!
270
00:09:08,968 --> 00:09:10,332
Free hat!
Free hat!
271
00:09:10,367 --> 00:09:12,100
No, no, we need to do
this first.
272
00:09:12,135 --> 00:09:13,766
But we have to free hat.
273
00:09:13,801 --> 00:09:16,834
It's just that, you know,
he killed 23 babies.
274
00:09:16,869 --> 00:09:19,067
Yeah, but it was
in self-Defense!
275
00:09:19,102 --> 00:09:20,332
Yeah!
Yeah!
276
00:09:20,367 --> 00:09:21,998
He killed 23 babies
in self-Defense?
277
00:09:22,033 --> 00:09:25,400
Hat was attacked maliciously
and unprovoked
278
00:09:25,435 --> 00:09:27,334
By a gang of babies
in westown park.
279
00:09:27,369 --> 00:09:29,234
When that many babies
get together
280
00:09:29,269 --> 00:09:30,766
They can be like piranha.
281
00:09:30,801 --> 00:09:32,732
Three eyewitnesses
testified that
282
00:09:32,767 --> 00:09:35,634
If hat hadn't killed those
babies, they'd a killed him!
283
00:09:35,669 --> 00:09:37,265
Yeah!
Free hat! Free hat!
284
00:09:37,300 --> 00:09:39,400
Alright, but right now
we gotta focus on
285
00:09:39,435 --> 00:09:41,501
Getting those original
prints of raiders.
286
00:09:41,536 --> 00:09:42,998
He's right,
we better split up.
287
00:09:43,033 --> 00:09:45,367
Some of you go with the boys
to get those film prints,
288
00:09:45,402 --> 00:09:46,699
The rest come with me
289
00:09:46,734 --> 00:09:49,067
To go talk to the governor
about freeing hat!
290
00:09:49,102 --> 00:09:49,632
Yeah!
291
00:09:49,667 --> 00:09:51,834
Free hat!
Free hat!...
292
00:09:56,200 --> 00:09:58,400
Well, looks like we're gonna
have to do this ourselves.
293
00:09:58,435 --> 00:09:59,899
No, that's it!
I'm out!
294
00:09:59,934 --> 00:10:01,734
I can't deal with the stress
you guys create!
295
00:10:01,769 --> 00:10:02,984
We're just gonna
fly to california
296
00:10:03,019 --> 00:10:04,200
And break into george
lucas' house-
297
00:10:04,235 --> 00:10:05,801
What's stressful
about that?
298
00:10:05,836 --> 00:10:06,699
Aagh!
299
00:10:06,734 --> 00:10:08,032
Okay, tweek, let me
tell you something.
300
00:10:08,067 --> 00:10:09,683
You've been our new friend now
for two weeks, okay?
301
00:10:09,718 --> 00:10:11,192
And i've gotta be honest with
you, it isn't going well.
302
00:10:11,227 --> 00:10:12,667
People aren't that into you,
tweek, they find you annoying.
303
00:10:12,702 --> 00:10:14,351
Now i'd say you've got
one last shot here,
304
00:10:14,386 --> 00:10:16,310
And i don't want you
to blow it, okay?
305
00:10:16,345 --> 00:10:18,234
Does that help take
the stress off?
306
00:10:22,534 --> 00:10:24,200
Okay, go.
307
00:10:26,033 --> 00:10:27,150
I'm not breaking into
george lucas' house.
308
00:10:27,185 --> 00:10:28,267
I'm not breaking
into george lucas' house.
309
00:10:28,302 --> 00:10:30,599
I'm in a green field.
310
00:10:30,634 --> 00:10:32,300
Shut up, tweek, this is not
the time for "faggocity"!
311
00:10:32,335 --> 00:10:35,217
This looks like
the right room.
312
00:10:35,252 --> 00:10:38,100
I'm in a field,
surrounded by deer.
313
00:10:38,135 --> 00:10:38,234
Over here!
314
00:10:48,200 --> 00:10:49,399
That's it!
315
00:10:49,434 --> 00:10:50,934
Alright,
get it, tweek!
316
00:10:50,969 --> 00:10:52,098
Nu-Uh!
317
00:10:52,133 --> 00:10:53,432
Get it,
you piece of crap
318
00:10:53,467 --> 00:10:55,033
Before i grab your nutsack
and twist it!
319
00:10:58,234 --> 00:10:59,650
What are you doing?!
320
00:10:59,685 --> 00:11:01,032
Oh god!
Oh jesus!
321
00:11:01,067 --> 00:11:03,934
You're the boys from
that stupid club!
322
00:11:03,969 --> 00:11:04,699
Gimme that!
323
00:11:04,734 --> 00:11:06,566
Do with us
what you will, mr. Lucas,
324
00:11:06,601 --> 00:11:09,100
But please don't change
raiders of the lost ark.
325
00:11:09,135 --> 00:11:10,132
We're gonna
make it better.
326
00:11:10,167 --> 00:11:12,634
The movie is gonna be changed
and that is that!
327
00:11:12,669 --> 00:11:13,632
Alright, you asked for it.
328
00:11:13,667 --> 00:11:15,634
I'm afraid you
leave us no choice!
329
00:11:15,669 --> 00:11:16,200
It's time for plan b.!
330
00:11:16,235 --> 00:11:17,265
Aw, really?
331
00:11:17,300 --> 00:11:19,632
Oh god,
not plan b.!
332
00:11:19,667 --> 00:11:21,567
You have a heart
made of ice, mr. Lucas,
333
00:11:21,602 --> 00:11:23,467
So we're going to
melt your icy heart
334
00:11:23,502 --> 00:11:25,467
With a cool island song.
335
00:11:25,502 --> 00:11:26,934
Gentlemen?
336
00:11:28,300 --> 00:11:30,499
What?!
337
00:11:30,534 --> 00:11:31,267
Hit it, tweek!
338
00:11:33,534 --> 00:11:36,267
* in the tropical isles
with the coconut trees- *
339
00:11:36,302 --> 00:11:37,599
Wait, wait!
340
00:11:37,634 --> 00:11:38,400
I thought we were gonna
cool his hot heart
341
00:11:38,435 --> 00:11:40,134
With a cool island song.
342
00:11:40,169 --> 00:11:41,799
No, he has a icy heart.
343
00:11:41,834 --> 00:11:43,868
But you can't melt ice with
a cool song, r-Tard!
344
00:11:43,903 --> 00:11:45,334
So we have to warm
his icy heart
345
00:11:45,369 --> 00:11:46,734
With a hot
island song?
346
00:11:46,769 --> 00:11:48,065
It's a cool island song!
347
00:11:48,100 --> 00:11:49,634
Then we're gonna end up
freezing his hellish heart
348
00:11:49,669 --> 00:11:50,918
With a cool island song.
349
00:11:50,953 --> 00:11:52,277
Aw, do we wanna
do that?
350
00:11:52,312 --> 00:11:53,601
Alright, that does it!
351
00:11:55,367 --> 00:11:56,365
Yes, thank you,
officer.
352
00:11:56,400 --> 00:11:58,632
The police are
on their way, boys.
353
00:11:58,667 --> 00:12:00,501
Soon you'll be in jail
getting rammed!
354
00:12:00,536 --> 00:12:01,833
Aagh!
355
00:12:01,868 --> 00:12:03,418
Those rams can do to us what
they will, mr. Lucas,
356
00:12:03,453 --> 00:12:04,968
But we'll never stop
trying to protect films!
357
00:12:05,003 --> 00:12:07,167
It's not too late
to do what's right.
358
00:12:07,202 --> 00:12:08,532
Give us the print.
359
00:12:08,567 --> 00:12:10,133
There's still some good
in you, mr. Lucas,
360
00:12:10,168 --> 00:12:11,466
We know there is!
361
00:12:11,501 --> 00:12:13,950
It is... too late
for me, boys.
362
00:12:13,985 --> 00:12:16,365
You yourself
led the campaign
363
00:12:16,400 --> 00:12:18,866
Against the colorization
of films.
364
00:12:18,901 --> 00:12:21,467
You understand why films
shouldn't be changed!
365
00:12:21,502 --> 00:12:22,365
That's different.
366
00:12:22,400 --> 00:12:24,032
These are my movies,
i made them,
367
00:12:24,067 --> 00:12:27,767
And i have the right to do
whatever i want with them.
368
00:12:27,802 --> 00:12:28,799
You're wrong,
mr. Lucas.
369
00:12:28,834 --> 00:12:30,200
They're not your movies,
they're ours.
370
00:12:30,235 --> 00:12:32,232
All of ours.
371
00:12:32,267 --> 00:12:33,632
We paid to go see them,
372
00:12:33,667 --> 00:12:35,167
And they're just as much a part
of our lives
373
00:12:35,202 --> 00:12:36,301
As they are of yours.
374
00:12:36,336 --> 00:12:37,365
When an artist creates,
375
00:12:37,400 --> 00:12:40,133
Whatever they create
belongs to society.
376
00:12:42,167 --> 00:12:43,232
Have i...
become so old
377
00:12:43,267 --> 00:12:46,265
That i've forgotten what
being an artist is about?
378
00:12:46,300 --> 00:12:48,667
Give the print to us so that we
can protect it from spielberg
379
00:12:48,702 --> 00:12:50,234
And anyone else
who wants to alter it.
380
00:12:50,269 --> 00:12:52,834
Perhaps...
you are right.
381
00:12:52,869 --> 00:12:55,365
Stop!
382
00:12:55,400 --> 00:12:57,968
What are you
doing, george?
383
00:12:58,003 --> 00:12:59,399
Steven, i-
384
00:12:59,434 --> 00:13:00,365
Give me that print,
george.
385
00:13:00,400 --> 00:13:03,200
We need to make
the alterations.
386
00:13:03,235 --> 00:13:05,965
Steven, these boys
had a point.
387
00:13:06,000 --> 00:13:08,667
I don't remember what
it was, but it was good.
388
00:13:08,702 --> 00:13:10,651
You haven't let these
doe-Eyed children
389
00:13:10,686 --> 00:13:12,601
Affect your judgment,
have you, george?
390
00:13:12,636 --> 00:13:15,167
Don't forget-
You belong to me.
391
00:13:15,202 --> 00:13:16,965
Don't listen to him!
392
00:13:17,000 --> 00:13:19,667
You still have a chance to
preserve your film!
393
00:13:24,400 --> 00:13:27,567
I'm...
i'm sorry, boys.
394
00:13:29,801 --> 00:13:31,165
Ha ha ha-Haaaa!
395
00:13:31,200 --> 00:13:34,000
Now, take the children
prisoner!
396
00:13:34,035 --> 00:13:35,065
What?!
397
00:13:35,100 --> 00:13:37,165
You troublemakers shall be
my guests of honor
398
00:13:37,200 --> 00:13:39,767
At the premiere of the new
raiders of the lost ark!
399
00:13:39,802 --> 00:13:41,951
Your gay little club
is over!
400
00:13:41,986 --> 00:13:43,810
You,
steven spielberg!
401
00:13:43,845 --> 00:13:45,599
Come on, you guys!
402
00:13:45,634 --> 00:13:47,200
Oh my god, they're
gonna kill us!
403
00:13:47,235 --> 00:13:48,732
Don't even
think about it, kid!
404
00:13:48,767 --> 00:13:51,632
I'm not afraid to use
this walkie-Talkie.
405
00:13:51,667 --> 00:13:53,200
The one with the cocaine
problem escaped, mein director!
406
00:13:53,235 --> 00:13:55,165
Leave him!
407
00:13:55,200 --> 00:13:56,833
Let him run back
to his mommy.
408
00:13:56,868 --> 00:13:58,234
We must get the film ready
for the premiere.
409
00:13:58,269 --> 00:14:00,200
Lucas! Come!
410
00:14:06,267 --> 00:14:08,766
It's the digitally
re-Enhanced re-Release
411
00:14:08,801 --> 00:14:10,550
Of the very first, pilot episode
of "south park"!
412
00:14:10,585 --> 00:14:12,300
Yes, the classic, rough,
hand-Made first episode
413
00:14:12,335 --> 00:14:14,899
Is getting a makeover
for 2002!
414
00:14:14,934 --> 00:14:18,400
The simple, funny aliens are now
super bad-Ass and cool!
415
00:14:18,435 --> 00:14:19,766
The flying saucer?
416
00:14:19,801 --> 00:14:22,000
No longer cheap construction
paper- But a 4.0 megapixel
417
00:14:22,035 --> 00:14:24,567
Non-Drop digital masterpiece
of technology!
418
00:14:24,602 --> 00:14:27,300
Yes, everything's new.
New is better!
419
00:14:27,335 --> 00:14:28,699
When we first made
south park,
420
00:14:28,734 --> 00:14:30,234
We didn't want to use
construction paper,
421
00:14:30,269 --> 00:14:32,098
We just had to
because it was cheap.
422
00:14:32,133 --> 00:14:34,701
Now with new technology we can
finally re-Master south park
423
00:14:34,736 --> 00:14:37,067
To make it look sharp,
clean and focused.
424
00:14:37,102 --> 00:14:38,666
And expensive.
425
00:14:38,701 --> 00:14:40,767
Yes, all the charm of
the simple little cartoon
426
00:14:40,802 --> 00:14:42,199
Will melt before your eyes
427
00:14:42,234 --> 00:14:45,367
As it is replaced by newer and
more standardized animation!
428
00:14:45,402 --> 00:14:46,965
For instance, the scene
at the bus stop.
429
00:14:47,000 --> 00:14:50,501
We always meant to have imperial
walkers and giant dewback lizards
430
00:14:50,536 --> 00:14:53,100
In the background, but
simply couldn't afford it.
431
00:14:53,135 --> 00:14:54,866
Get this special enhanced
version quick!
432
00:14:54,901 --> 00:14:58,534
Because another enhanced version
will likely be coming out for 2003!
433
00:15:00,767 --> 00:15:02,466
Members!
434
00:15:02,501 --> 00:15:04,933
Uh, oh jesus-
You have to do something!
435
00:15:04,968 --> 00:15:07,351
Our club's president, treasurer,
and secretary
436
00:15:07,386 --> 00:15:09,734
Have all been taken hostage
by steven spielberg!
437
00:15:09,769 --> 00:15:10,998
Agh!
438
00:15:11,033 --> 00:15:12,234
Prisoner?
You mean like hat?
439
00:15:12,269 --> 00:15:13,833
Yes, just like hat!
440
00:15:13,868 --> 00:15:15,634
But the governor
won't pardon hat,
441
00:15:15,669 --> 00:15:17,400
So how can we get him
out of prison?
442
00:15:17,435 --> 00:15:18,132
Yeah!
443
00:15:18,167 --> 00:15:19,933
No, listen to me!
444
00:15:19,968 --> 00:15:23,767
We're not talking about
hat right now, okay?
445
00:15:23,802 --> 00:15:24,566
Get it?!
446
00:15:24,601 --> 00:15:26,666
Look, we went to
george lucas' house
447
00:15:26,701 --> 00:15:29,467
And tried to melt his icy heart
with a warm island song,
448
00:15:29,502 --> 00:15:30,732
But then spielberg showed up
449
00:15:30,767 --> 00:15:32,165
And took three of
our members prisoner!
450
00:15:32,200 --> 00:15:34,067
They're going to premiere the
new raiders of the lost ark
451
00:15:34,102 --> 00:15:37,200
And we have to rescue them,
do you understand?!
452
00:15:37,235 --> 00:15:39,732
Hey, he's got
a point there.
453
00:15:39,767 --> 00:15:43,367
Yeah, maybe we could melt
the governor's icy heart
454
00:15:43,402 --> 00:15:44,300
With a cool
island song!
455
00:15:44,335 --> 00:15:46,701
Yeah!
Let's go!
456
00:15:46,736 --> 00:15:47,651
No!
457
00:15:47,686 --> 00:15:48,532
No?
458
00:15:48,567 --> 00:15:49,899
No, he's right.
459
00:15:49,934 --> 00:15:52,500
We have to freeze his hot heart
with a cool island song!
460
00:15:52,535 --> 00:15:55,401
Or is it freshen his hot temper
with a cool island song?
461
00:15:55,436 --> 00:15:58,267
Let's cool his hot temper
with a fresh island song!
462
00:15:58,302 --> 00:16:00,601
That's it!
463
00:16:03,334 --> 00:16:05,334
Oh god, i'm gonna have to
do this myself!
464
00:16:05,369 --> 00:16:06,599
Oh god!
465
00:16:06,634 --> 00:16:08,834
Well, the print is finished
and the day has come!
466
00:16:08,869 --> 00:16:10,632
Tonight, steven spielberg
and george lucas
467
00:16:10,667 --> 00:16:13,000
Will be at the premiere of
the new, special edition
468
00:16:13,035 --> 00:16:14,432
Of raiders of the lost ark.
469
00:16:14,467 --> 00:16:16,517
Lots of celebrity guests
and other rich people
470
00:16:16,552 --> 00:16:18,567
Will be on hand to witness
all the updated effects
471
00:16:18,602 --> 00:16:20,968
And modernized technology!
472
00:16:36,200 --> 00:16:38,383
Ho-Oh!
473
00:16:38,418 --> 00:16:40,532
The kid?
474
00:16:40,567 --> 00:16:42,265
The tweeked-Out kid?
475
00:16:42,300 --> 00:16:44,467
I'm gonna blow up
the print, spielberg!
476
00:16:48,434 --> 00:16:49,933
Your persistence
surprises even me.
477
00:16:49,968 --> 00:16:53,384
Surely you don't think you can
escape from this premiere?
478
00:16:53,419 --> 00:16:56,801
That depends on how reasonable
we're all willing to be.
479
00:16:56,836 --> 00:16:58,801
All i want
are my friends.
480
00:16:58,836 --> 00:16:59,732
Wow...
481
00:16:59,767 --> 00:17:01,200
Except for cartman,
you can keep him.
482
00:17:01,235 --> 00:17:02,466
Ah!
483
00:17:02,501 --> 00:17:03,799
And if we refuse?
484
00:17:03,834 --> 00:17:05,200
Then your premiere
has no movie!
485
00:17:05,235 --> 00:17:07,100
He's definitely
lost it.
486
00:17:07,135 --> 00:17:08,299
Yup.
487
00:17:08,334 --> 00:17:09,601
Okay, okay,
stand back.
488
00:17:09,636 --> 00:17:10,833
Stand back, back!
489
00:17:10,868 --> 00:17:14,033
Okay, kid, you win,
blow it up.
490
00:17:14,068 --> 00:17:17,034
Zuroch!
Zuroch!
491
00:17:17,069 --> 00:17:19,965
Blow it back to god.
492
00:17:20,000 --> 00:17:23,067
All your life has been the
pursuit of seeing a great film.
493
00:17:23,102 --> 00:17:25,434
This new version of raiders
has digital effects
494
00:17:25,469 --> 00:17:27,399
Beyond your wildest dreams.
495
00:17:27,434 --> 00:17:31,133
You want to see it screened
just as much as i.
496
00:17:31,168 --> 00:17:33,566
Come on, tweek,
blow it up!
497
00:17:33,601 --> 00:17:36,567
Son, we are simply passing
through history.
498
00:17:36,602 --> 00:17:39,968
This- Is improved history.
499
00:17:45,334 --> 00:17:48,367
Do as you will.
500
00:17:52,968 --> 00:17:56,418
* in the tropical isles
with the coconut trees *
501
00:17:56,453 --> 00:17:59,833
* the air is fresh and
the people are free *
502
00:17:59,868 --> 00:18:02,734
* but here in the mountains
there's no freedom like that *
503
00:18:02,769 --> 00:18:05,467
* there's a man in prison
and his name is hat *
504
00:18:20,300 --> 00:18:23,699
Haffaaa mali fi!
505
00:18:23,734 --> 00:18:25,767
Thanks for coming,
everyone!
506
00:18:30,267 --> 00:18:32,367
This is the birth
of the new version
507
00:18:32,402 --> 00:18:33,432
Of raiders
of the lost ark!
508
00:18:33,467 --> 00:18:35,767
We shall screen it here
and then destroy
509
00:18:35,802 --> 00:18:38,400
All the old prints
in celebration!
510
00:18:38,435 --> 00:18:39,933
Hooray!
511
00:18:39,968 --> 00:18:41,734
Begin the film!
512
00:18:44,300 --> 00:18:46,166
Ohh, aaahh!
513
00:18:46,201 --> 00:18:47,998
You guys!
514
00:18:48,033 --> 00:18:49,968
Close your eyes,
don't look at it!
515
00:18:50,003 --> 00:18:50,866
What?
516
00:18:50,901 --> 00:18:52,450
Don't watch the movie,
you guys!
517
00:18:52,485 --> 00:18:54,000
It'll be terrible,
close your eyes!
518
00:18:54,035 --> 00:18:55,918
Oohhh...
aahh...
519
00:18:55,953 --> 00:18:57,801
It's beautiful!
520
00:19:04,267 --> 00:19:05,499
Wait a minute.
521
00:19:05,534 --> 00:19:06,917
This version
is awful!
522
00:19:06,952 --> 00:19:08,265
Yeah, they ruined it!
523
00:19:08,300 --> 00:19:11,067
Oh my god,
it's terrible!
524
00:19:16,100 --> 00:19:17,534
Aaaagh!
525
00:19:57,367 --> 00:20:00,133
You...
you guys okay?
526
00:20:00,168 --> 00:20:02,098
Yeah, i think so.
527
00:20:02,133 --> 00:20:06,234
Man, that new version
must've sucked balls.
528
00:20:13,634 --> 00:20:15,632
Today is a day
of celebration!
529
00:20:15,667 --> 00:20:19,067
And we owe it all to these
four brave, young boys!
530
00:20:19,102 --> 00:20:21,332
Yeah!
Alright!
531
00:20:21,367 --> 00:20:24,734
And thanks to the bravery of
this young man in particular-
532
00:20:24,769 --> 00:20:28,067
Hat mccullough is finally
free from prison!
533
00:20:30,901 --> 00:20:31,899
What?
534
00:20:31,934 --> 00:20:33,965
Hat! Hat! Hat!...
535
00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:37,065
Thank you, everyone-
Kill the innocent!
536
00:20:37,100 --> 00:20:41,367
Uh, i'm so thankful for all your
support- Rape the virgin!
537
00:20:41,402 --> 00:20:45,634
And uh, i just wonder if i could
get a baby real quick?
538
00:20:45,669 --> 00:20:47,467
Sure, give that
man a baby!
539
00:20:51,267 --> 00:20:52,334
Come on, you guys,
let's get outta here.
540
00:20:52,369 --> 00:20:54,799
Oh my god!
541
00:20:54,834 --> 00:20:57,384
Do you think we did
a good thing, stan?
542
00:20:57,419 --> 00:20:59,393
I mean, no one even
seemed to notice.
543
00:20:59,428 --> 00:21:01,367
Yeah, well, sometimes
the things we do
544
00:21:01,402 --> 00:21:02,599
Don't matter right now.
545
00:21:02,634 --> 00:21:03,965
Sometimes they matter
later.
546
00:21:04,000 --> 00:21:06,098
We have to care more about later
sometimes, you know?
547
00:21:06,133 --> 00:21:07,300
I think that's what separates us
from the steven spielbergs
548
00:21:07,335 --> 00:21:09,301
And george lucases
of the world.
549
00:21:09,336 --> 00:21:10,835
That and youth-
Those guys are old.
550
00:21:10,870 --> 00:21:12,334
But what about the
original prints
551
00:21:12,369 --> 00:21:14,165
Of raiders
of the lost ark?!
552
00:21:14,200 --> 00:21:15,601
What if somebody else takes
them and tries to change them?
553
00:21:15,636 --> 00:21:17,568
Don't worry, tweek,
it's somewhere safe,
554
00:21:17,603 --> 00:21:19,501
Somewhere where nobody
will ever find it.
37739
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