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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.BZ 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.BZ 3 00:01:49,902 --> 00:01:50,945 Oh! 4 00:01:51,111 --> 00:01:53,656 Oh, almost didn't make that jump. 5 00:01:53,781 --> 00:01:55,157 It would've hurt something terrible 6 00:01:55,324 --> 00:01:58,953 in a permanent kind of way. 7 00:01:59,078 --> 00:02:00,120 God, damn it. 8 00:02:01,247 --> 00:02:03,207 Messed my shine all up. 9 00:02:03,374 --> 00:02:04,959 They know people trying to jump these trains. 10 00:02:05,125 --> 00:02:07,294 I don't know why they just won't slow 'em down. 11 00:02:07,461 --> 00:02:08,921 Hell, I'd be willing to buy a ticket 12 00:02:09,088 --> 00:02:12,091 if they was free. 13 00:02:12,967 --> 00:02:14,426 No. 14 00:02:14,552 --> 00:02:17,012 They force a gentleman to use these Philistine tactics 15 00:02:17,179 --> 00:02:19,765 and don't even make it easy for 'em to do it. 16 00:02:21,141 --> 00:02:22,810 You know, I, I used to didn't have to take the rails 17 00:02:22,935 --> 00:02:26,355 to get to a show before William decided to- 18 00:02:30,401 --> 00:02:33,487 First off, my name Abel, Abel Green. 19 00:02:33,654 --> 00:02:34,947 Damn glad to meet you. 20 00:02:35,114 --> 00:02:36,574 Sorry if I scared you when I jumped on here. 21 00:02:36,740 --> 00:02:39,368 And mayhaps you've heard of me or us, rather? 22 00:02:41,120 --> 00:02:41,954 No? 23 00:02:43,747 --> 00:02:44,707 Really? 24 00:02:45,457 --> 00:02:47,084 No, no, no. I know why. 25 00:02:47,251 --> 00:02:51,672 You don't recognize me without my face on. 26 00:02:58,262 --> 00:03:01,473 Hey, that's me and William Benson. 27 00:03:01,640 --> 00:03:03,517 All right, come on, kinfolk. 28 00:03:03,684 --> 00:03:07,271 William Benson, the great colored actor, comedian, minstrel. 29 00:03:08,731 --> 00:03:10,441 You heard of Burt Williams, right? 30 00:03:10,608 --> 00:03:11,692 The song, "Nobody"? 31 00:03:11,817 --> 00:03:12,860 Well, think Burt Williams 32 00:03:13,027 --> 00:03:14,236 with a whole lot less money 33 00:03:14,403 --> 00:03:15,696 and a more complex kind of funny. 34 00:03:16,906 --> 00:03:18,365 Yeah, I was his partner, 35 00:03:18,532 --> 00:03:20,451 and we were Captain Davenport's Minstrel Troupe, 36 00:03:20,618 --> 00:03:25,915 featuring two willing and able bonafide darkies. 37 00:03:27,082 --> 00:03:29,877 William came up with that, the bonafide part. 38 00:03:30,044 --> 00:03:31,629 See, and that's how we competed against 39 00:03:31,795 --> 00:03:33,505 the white minstrels in blackface. 40 00:03:33,672 --> 00:03:35,341 That's where our pitch came from, 41 00:03:35,466 --> 00:03:39,011 which was, why hire fake coons when you can hire real ones? 42 00:03:39,178 --> 00:03:43,057 When these boys wipe off the black, the black still there. 43 00:03:47,394 --> 00:03:48,979 Now William Benson, 44 00:03:49,146 --> 00:03:50,731 he had more sense than a little bit, 45 00:03:50,898 --> 00:03:52,608 and made a bundle of money making people 46 00:03:52,775 --> 00:03:54,526 think he ain't had none at all. 47 00:03:55,402 --> 00:03:57,905 Yes Lord, things were real sweet 48 00:03:58,072 --> 00:03:59,406 when William was around. 49 00:04:00,824 --> 00:04:02,326 But, 50 00:04:02,493 --> 00:04:03,911 life is change. 51 00:04:05,037 --> 00:04:07,665 Thing is, sometimes you make the change 52 00:04:07,831 --> 00:04:09,750 and sometimes the change make you. 53 00:04:10,834 --> 00:04:12,586 All the biggest changes in my life, 54 00:04:12,753 --> 00:04:14,380 either William had something to do with 'em 55 00:04:14,505 --> 00:04:17,216 or he was around when I made 'em. 56 00:04:17,383 --> 00:04:19,885 He's the one that brought me into the show business. 57 00:04:20,010 --> 00:04:22,930 Well, getting paid side of it. 58 00:04:23,055 --> 00:04:27,309 See, all Negroes are actors by necessity. 59 00:04:27,476 --> 00:04:30,270 The script is passed down generation to generation, 60 00:04:30,437 --> 00:04:32,106 and the Negroes that know they lines 61 00:04:32,272 --> 00:04:34,525 tend to live longer than the Negroes that don't. 62 00:04:36,193 --> 00:04:37,736 Generally speaking as it pertain to dealing 63 00:04:37,903 --> 00:04:39,279 with white folks. 64 00:04:39,446 --> 00:04:41,615 Now as far as dealing with other Negroes, well, 65 00:04:41,782 --> 00:04:43,409 memorization won't help. 66 00:04:43,575 --> 00:04:45,744 Negroes be changing on the daily. 67 00:04:47,413 --> 00:04:51,333 William, he was privy to one of my best performances, 68 00:04:51,500 --> 00:04:54,003 performed in front of an all Negro audience, 69 00:04:54,169 --> 00:04:55,504 outside of the liquor house 70 00:04:55,671 --> 00:04:57,297 where an angry husband held a straight razor 71 00:04:57,464 --> 00:04:59,591 but inches away from my adam's apple. 72 00:05:01,051 --> 00:05:04,013 Now when William saw I was able to convince said individual 73 00:05:04,179 --> 00:05:06,306 that the black ashy bottom he saw climbing out 74 00:05:06,473 --> 00:05:10,310 of his bedroom window did not belong to one Abel Green, 75 00:05:10,477 --> 00:05:11,895 rather to some other dirty, 76 00:05:12,062 --> 00:05:14,440 derelict defiler of his lady love. 77 00:05:17,026 --> 00:05:19,403 Well, William offered me a job on the spot. 78 00:05:19,570 --> 00:05:21,363 You know, we hit the road the next day, 79 00:05:21,530 --> 00:05:24,450 made money makin' folk laugh all across this nation. 80 00:05:25,576 --> 00:05:28,078 NAACP didn't think we're very funny though. 81 00:05:29,288 --> 00:05:31,540 A lot of Black newspapers didn't appreciate 82 00:05:31,707 --> 00:05:33,375 our brand of humor either. 83 00:05:33,500 --> 00:05:37,921 I got this article right here from the New Negro Gazette. 84 00:05:38,088 --> 00:05:40,382 "The Negro performing in blackface, 85 00:05:40,549 --> 00:05:44,053 dancing and singing like a bubbling fool in front of whites, 86 00:05:44,178 --> 00:05:47,723 betrays the advancement of the entire race." 87 00:05:47,890 --> 00:05:50,684 JA Sutter, publisher. 88 00:05:53,479 --> 00:05:57,858 When I read that to William, he got real, real quiet, 89 00:05:59,193 --> 00:06:01,320 that right before a thunderstorm type of quiet. 90 00:06:02,905 --> 00:06:04,490 Then came the boom. 91 00:06:05,365 --> 00:06:07,618 Why the negrocity of this Negro. 92 00:06:08,786 --> 00:06:10,370 Are we not the race? 93 00:06:10,537 --> 00:06:13,123 Is our skin not Black? 94 00:06:13,290 --> 00:06:14,958 I'm a colored actor doing the best I can, 95 00:06:15,125 --> 00:06:16,460 trying to make a living the best I can, 96 00:06:16,627 --> 00:06:18,462 and for that they call me Judas. 97 00:06:19,338 --> 00:06:20,964 I say with the utmost certainty 98 00:06:21,131 --> 00:06:23,550 that neither you nor I have caused a single crucifixion, 99 00:06:23,717 --> 00:06:26,220 Abel Green, while these Romans crucify us 100 00:06:26,386 --> 00:06:29,348 on their editorial pages every chance that avails them. 101 00:06:30,057 --> 00:06:31,225 Bastards. 102 00:06:33,602 --> 00:06:35,562 William always used too many words 103 00:06:35,729 --> 00:06:37,106 for the point he was making. 104 00:06:38,398 --> 00:06:39,399 Still, he was the smartest man 105 00:06:39,566 --> 00:06:41,193 I ever knew, white or colored. 106 00:06:41,360 --> 00:06:43,070 All them big shows we did. 107 00:06:43,237 --> 00:06:46,573 Them white folks still don't know that Captain Davenport 108 00:06:47,366 --> 00:06:48,909 was really William Benson. 109 00:06:49,743 --> 00:06:50,994 Yeah. 110 00:06:51,161 --> 00:06:52,704 They ever found out they paid a couple of coons 111 00:06:52,871 --> 00:06:54,414 that much money, some of 'em drop dead on the spot. 112 00:06:56,083 --> 00:06:57,459 I'm gonna tell you how we did it. 113 00:06:57,626 --> 00:06:59,336 Yo, William had this cousin from New Orleans 114 00:06:59,461 --> 00:07:03,841 named Alonzo Price who could pass as white. 115 00:07:04,007 --> 00:07:06,051 So he would pose as Captain Davenport 116 00:07:06,218 --> 00:07:07,636 for a small cut of the money. 117 00:07:07,803 --> 00:07:09,805 Get to town a week before us, book the show, 118 00:07:09,972 --> 00:07:11,723 We would come and perform, ha. 119 00:07:13,767 --> 00:07:15,435 I'm telling you, it was beautiful. 120 00:07:15,602 --> 00:07:17,271 That boy William, he always had a plan. 121 00:07:17,396 --> 00:07:19,106 You know he knew everything, read everything. 122 00:07:19,231 --> 00:07:21,483 He'd get drunk, spend the night reciting Shakespeare. 123 00:07:21,650 --> 00:07:23,026 Yeah, he would. 124 00:07:23,193 --> 00:07:25,445 He knew the complete works except for Othello. 125 00:07:25,612 --> 00:07:27,573 He refused to commit that one to memory. 126 00:07:27,698 --> 00:07:29,074 He said Othello was nothing 127 00:07:29,241 --> 00:07:31,285 but a minstrel show without the punchlines. 128 00:07:32,494 --> 00:07:35,914 The only weakness he had was for, shall we say, 129 00:07:36,081 --> 00:07:37,666 ladies of the night. 130 00:07:37,791 --> 00:07:39,585 Now I know some might think I'm wrong for saying that, 131 00:07:39,751 --> 00:07:41,795 but where I come from, if you gonna tell a man's business, 132 00:07:41,920 --> 00:07:43,255 then you tell all of it. 133 00:07:45,215 --> 00:07:47,426 It wasn't that William couldn't get a regular woman, 134 00:07:47,593 --> 00:07:49,094 it's just with the money we were making 135 00:07:49,261 --> 00:07:50,804 and the times being what they were, hell still are, 136 00:07:50,971 --> 00:07:52,764 a man with a dollar or two didn't have to go 137 00:07:52,931 --> 00:07:55,642 to a house of ill repute to find a lady friend. 138 00:07:57,102 --> 00:08:00,105 I asked William why he liked prostitutes so much. 139 00:08:01,523 --> 00:08:04,318 He said, because they were master actors. 140 00:08:06,069 --> 00:08:08,363 He said they knew the secret to managing vacancy 141 00:08:08,530 --> 00:08:10,032 and he wanted to learn it. 142 00:08:12,659 --> 00:08:14,119 Now I ain't know what he meant by that at the time, 143 00:08:14,286 --> 00:08:17,664 but I damn sure understood after Jefferson. 144 00:08:19,374 --> 00:08:20,918 Jefferson was one of those 145 00:08:21,084 --> 00:08:23,754 life-changing moments, like I mentioned earlier. 146 00:08:24,713 --> 00:08:25,756 Shit, it's the reason William 147 00:08:25,923 --> 00:08:27,633 ain't going on this gig with me. 148 00:08:28,926 --> 00:08:30,469 It's the reason why I got less money in my pocket. 149 00:08:30,636 --> 00:08:32,221 It's the reason why I wake up some nights sweating, 150 00:08:32,387 --> 00:08:34,306 which turns into shaking and crying. 151 00:08:34,431 --> 00:08:35,724 It's the reason why I sleep 152 00:08:35,891 --> 00:08:37,184 with a bottle of whiskey on my night table 153 00:08:37,351 --> 00:08:38,727 and a pistol underneath my pillow. 154 00:08:44,024 --> 00:08:45,817 I wanted to drive to town. 155 00:08:45,984 --> 00:08:47,361 Damn some walking. 156 00:08:47,486 --> 00:08:49,029 Jefferson was about three miles or more 157 00:08:49,196 --> 00:08:50,656 from this colored hotel. 158 00:08:50,822 --> 00:08:52,950 And we had us this brand new Ford Packard. 159 00:08:53,075 --> 00:08:56,036 Couldn't even drive it 'cause Alonzo had gotten sick, 160 00:08:56,203 --> 00:08:57,829 and as William put it, 161 00:08:57,996 --> 00:09:00,666 it makes no sense to step in some shit you can step around. 162 00:09:02,501 --> 00:09:05,128 Two colored fellas driving that brand new Ford? 163 00:09:05,837 --> 00:09:08,257 Well, so we walked. 164 00:09:09,466 --> 00:09:11,426 It was hotter than fish grease that day. 165 00:09:11,593 --> 00:09:13,136 You know, it wasn't even noon yet, 166 00:09:13,303 --> 00:09:16,390 but the air was thick, thick enough to cut like cake, 167 00:09:17,224 --> 00:09:19,184 so we cut across this field and, 168 00:09:23,814 --> 00:09:26,817 we smelled the body before we saw anything. 169 00:09:28,485 --> 00:09:30,946 It was a sweet stench like burnt pork. 170 00:09:32,447 --> 00:09:35,659 Once we came down the last dip at the end of the field, 171 00:09:37,160 --> 00:09:40,414 we saw the tree at the edge of the wood where the body hung. 172 00:09:42,374 --> 00:09:43,792 I ain't want to go towards it, 173 00:09:43,959 --> 00:09:45,752 but it drew Will in like he was hypnotized. 174 00:09:47,379 --> 00:09:49,006 I followed behind him and, 175 00:09:51,508 --> 00:09:53,176 it's hard to believe what we was looking at 176 00:09:53,302 --> 00:09:54,428 was once human, 177 00:09:55,929 --> 00:09:57,514 once a man. 178 00:09:59,099 --> 00:10:00,684 He was burnt black as tar, 179 00:10:02,019 --> 00:10:03,937 and parts of him was missing, 180 00:10:04,104 --> 00:10:06,690 his lips, ears, nose, 181 00:10:10,068 --> 00:10:11,570 even his private parts. 182 00:10:14,948 --> 00:10:16,867 I turned my back and vomited but 183 00:10:17,576 --> 00:10:19,411 Will just kept starin'. 184 00:10:21,371 --> 00:10:23,749 There were beer bottles, peanut hulls, 185 00:10:23,915 --> 00:10:25,542 cigarette butts everywhere. 186 00:10:27,336 --> 00:10:29,880 Some of 'em even had lipstick on 'em. 187 00:10:32,507 --> 00:10:33,467 And Will, 188 00:10:34,760 --> 00:10:36,970 he looked down and saw this doll, 189 00:10:38,180 --> 00:10:41,266 this little rag doll with hay-colored hair. 190 00:10:44,519 --> 00:10:45,729 Somebody brought their little daughter 191 00:10:45,896 --> 00:10:47,272 to watch that man burn, 192 00:10:49,232 --> 00:10:50,942 brought her like they were taking her to the county fair 193 00:10:51,109 --> 00:10:53,070 to watch the apple bobbing contest. 194 00:10:56,406 --> 00:10:57,449 Anyway, 195 00:10:59,034 --> 00:11:01,495 when William looked down and saw that doll, 196 00:11:03,163 --> 00:11:04,831 a noise came outta him 197 00:11:04,998 --> 00:11:07,667 I ain't never heard come outta any human being. 198 00:11:09,044 --> 00:11:11,296 And he started cussing, throwing bottles in the trees. 199 00:11:11,421 --> 00:11:12,881 I had to put my hand over his mouth, 200 00:11:13,048 --> 00:11:14,549 drag his ass out of there before we ended up 201 00:11:14,716 --> 00:11:17,094 swinging in the wind like the poor fella above us. 202 00:11:23,058 --> 00:11:25,519 We made it to Jefferson later that night. 203 00:11:26,686 --> 00:11:28,772 And you're damn right, we performed. 204 00:11:30,190 --> 00:11:31,525 What was we supposed to do, 205 00:11:31,691 --> 00:11:33,402 take the night off 'cause we was upset? 206 00:11:34,653 --> 00:11:36,696 No, we were supposed to run and tell the sheriff. 207 00:11:37,697 --> 00:11:39,032 No, buddy. 208 00:11:39,199 --> 00:11:40,867 Me and William did what we were supposed to do, 209 00:11:41,034 --> 00:11:42,369 and I'll tell you this, 210 00:11:42,494 --> 00:11:44,079 it was by far our best performance ever. 211 00:11:45,580 --> 00:11:47,124 The laughs came roaring in 212 00:11:47,290 --> 00:11:48,291 from a sea of faces 213 00:11:48,458 --> 00:11:49,668 that looked just like those faces 214 00:11:49,835 --> 00:11:51,420 that watched that man burn. 215 00:11:53,171 --> 00:11:54,798 And I smiled so hard on those faces 216 00:11:54,965 --> 00:11:57,634 I thought my mouth was gonna split from the stretching. 217 00:11:58,677 --> 00:12:00,137 I smiled even harder when I got paid. 218 00:12:02,013 --> 00:12:03,598 And I smiled all the way till I got to the dressing room 219 00:12:03,723 --> 00:12:05,767 and I shut the door behind me, wanting to cry. 220 00:12:08,061 --> 00:12:10,814 Stage lights had dried out my damn eyes. 221 00:12:14,401 --> 00:12:17,737 Later that night, William looked at me and said he was done. 222 00:12:18,947 --> 00:12:20,574 He said I could keep going if I wanted to, 223 00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:23,368 but if he kept going he may never feel clean again. 224 00:12:25,495 --> 00:12:26,830 Hit me like a brick. 225 00:12:27,664 --> 00:12:28,707 And like I told you before, 226 00:12:28,874 --> 00:12:29,916 William the one that brought me 227 00:12:30,083 --> 00:12:31,585 into this here show business. 228 00:12:31,751 --> 00:12:33,962 So I asked him if he thought he was better than me, 229 00:12:35,130 --> 00:12:36,590 if he thought he was a bigger man than me 230 00:12:36,756 --> 00:12:38,633 because he can walk away from all of it. 231 00:12:39,843 --> 00:12:41,178 The show business, the money, 232 00:12:41,344 --> 00:12:42,971 the ability to not have to live like a nigga, 233 00:12:43,138 --> 00:12:45,891 even if he had to play one on stage to be able to do it. 234 00:12:51,855 --> 00:12:53,773 He said he wasn't better than me, 235 00:12:56,318 --> 00:12:57,736 just more tired. 236 00:13:01,781 --> 00:13:04,618 I called him a coward, walked out the dressing room. 237 00:13:04,784 --> 00:13:06,411 I ain't seen him ever since. 238 00:13:09,039 --> 00:13:10,290 Heard he ended up 239 00:13:10,457 --> 00:13:11,416 with one of those ladies of the evening, 240 00:13:11,583 --> 00:13:12,959 drank himself to death. 241 00:13:15,378 --> 00:13:16,338 Me? 242 00:13:17,631 --> 00:13:19,007 I have nightmares. 243 00:13:20,175 --> 00:13:22,969 And in those calamities of the dreamscape, 244 00:13:24,137 --> 00:13:25,847 it's me burnt and hanging from that rope. 245 00:13:28,475 --> 00:13:31,853 Well still, the devils that done that, 246 00:13:33,230 --> 00:13:34,940 they mind ain't gonna change one way or the other 247 00:13:35,106 --> 00:13:38,985 about Negroes 'cause I stopped blackening up. 248 00:13:39,152 --> 00:13:42,072 So I keep dancing and smiling 249 00:13:42,239 --> 00:13:43,406 and they pay me for that. 250 00:13:43,573 --> 00:13:45,283 You know, good money too. 251 00:13:46,284 --> 00:13:47,869 You know what they don't pay me for 252 00:13:48,036 --> 00:13:50,622 is what I'm thinking behind all that smiling. 253 00:13:51,831 --> 00:13:54,417 That's all mine and none of they damn business, 254 00:13:54,584 --> 00:13:55,919 which is good for both parties, 255 00:13:56,086 --> 00:13:58,129 'cause if they really knew what I was thinking 256 00:13:58,255 --> 00:14:01,550 behind all that smiling, 257 00:14:02,425 --> 00:14:03,510 well let's just say I'd probably 258 00:14:03,677 --> 00:14:04,803 wind up in the same predicament 259 00:14:04,970 --> 00:14:06,596 as that fella near Jefferson. 260 00:14:08,515 --> 00:14:13,061 So, I take my instructions from the great Negro poet, 261 00:14:13,228 --> 00:14:15,438 Paul Laurence Dunbar. 262 00:14:15,605 --> 00:14:18,525 And I wear the mask that grins and lies, 263 00:14:18,692 --> 00:14:21,236 hides my cheeks and shades my eyes 264 00:14:21,403 --> 00:14:24,781 and let them bastards dream otherwise. 265 00:14:26,408 --> 00:14:29,869 You know cause reality is just this. 266 00:14:30,954 --> 00:14:33,456 As William once sang so beautifully. 267 00:14:36,501 --> 00:14:41,172 โ™ช When life is full of clouds and rain โ™ช 268 00:14:41,339 --> 00:14:45,302 โ™ช And I am filled with not but pain โ™ช 269 00:14:45,468 --> 00:14:49,973 โ™ช Who soothes my thumping bumping brain โ™ช 270 00:14:50,098 --> 00:14:51,224 Nobody. 271 00:14:52,434 --> 00:14:56,313 โ™ช When winter comes with snow and sleet โ™ช 272 00:14:56,438 --> 00:15:00,442 โ™ช And me with hunger and cold feet โ™ช 273 00:15:00,567 --> 00:15:05,822 โ™ช Who says, ah, here's two bits, go and eat โ™ช 274 00:15:06,239 --> 00:15:07,407 Nobody. 275 00:15:08,742 --> 00:15:13,872 โ™ช I ain't never got nothing from nobody no time โ™ช 276 00:15:15,040 --> 00:15:19,961 โ™ช Until I get something from somebody sometime โ™ช 277 00:15:21,296 --> 00:15:26,676 โ™ช I don't intend to do nothing for nobody โ™ช 278 00:15:29,804 --> 00:15:32,182 โ™ช No time โ™ช 279 00:16:01,044 --> 00:16:03,546 Boy, I miss my friend. 280 00:16:06,383 --> 00:16:09,010 It's hard being nobody all by yourself. 281 00:16:11,346 --> 00:16:13,014 That's probably why I talk about Will all the time. 282 00:16:13,181 --> 00:16:14,516 I'm scared, I admit it. 283 00:16:15,767 --> 00:16:17,852 Happen if I get tired like he did? 284 00:16:19,396 --> 00:16:22,232 Happen when I feel like I can't get clean no more? 285 00:16:25,652 --> 00:16:27,404 I'll probably use that 38 underneath my pillow 286 00:16:27,570 --> 00:16:28,988 rather than a bottle like Will did, 287 00:16:29,155 --> 00:16:31,533 'cause I ain't got nothing but this here. 288 00:16:31,700 --> 00:16:35,328 This song, this dance, this jig show. 289 00:16:36,621 --> 00:16:38,915 And the next one, some miles up these here tracks. 290 00:16:40,250 --> 00:16:42,085 Lunceford County Dixieland Theater to be exact. 291 00:16:42,252 --> 00:16:44,254 8:30 this p.m. 292 00:16:45,380 --> 00:16:47,632 Either I'll see you there or I won't. 293 00:16:49,217 --> 00:16:52,011 Either way, I gotta be about the business 294 00:16:52,178 --> 00:16:53,722 of my preparations. 295 00:16:53,888 --> 00:16:56,224 So, if y'all don't mind, 296 00:16:57,350 --> 00:16:58,685 excuse me. 297 00:17:59,996 --> 00:18:04,083 Church, turn to your neighbor and say, neighbor. 298 00:18:04,209 --> 00:18:05,710 Neighbor. 299 00:18:05,877 --> 00:18:07,545 - I know. - I know. 300 00:18:08,296 --> 00:18:10,715 - Jesus. - Jesus. 301 00:18:10,882 --> 00:18:13,259 - Is Black. - Is Black. 302 00:18:16,221 --> 00:18:18,097 Oh, some of y'all scared to do it. 303 00:18:22,769 --> 00:18:25,104 Even though it say right here in the good book, 304 00:18:25,939 --> 00:18:28,399 feet the color of bronze, 305 00:18:28,566 --> 00:18:31,027 hair like wool. 306 00:18:31,194 --> 00:18:35,782 What white man you know got a white face and black feet? 307 00:18:37,617 --> 00:18:39,369 Oh, this earthly journey ain't the end of the story. 308 00:18:39,494 --> 00:18:41,996 That's why I'm focused on building my spiritual house. 309 00:18:42,121 --> 00:18:44,541 See, I know when it snows, 310 00:18:44,707 --> 00:18:46,751 it's white folks jumping outta heaven, 311 00:18:46,876 --> 00:18:49,379 'cause they done found out God is Black. 312 00:18:52,507 --> 00:18:54,884 And now they got to account 313 00:18:55,051 --> 00:18:58,930 for all the trifling shit they done done. 314 00:18:59,848 --> 00:19:01,349 Amen. 315 00:19:02,559 --> 00:19:06,229 Your home is above the clouds, beloved. 316 00:19:12,986 --> 00:19:14,863 These words of liberation drip syrupy sweet 317 00:19:15,029 --> 00:19:17,198 from the lips of the enlightened one. 318 00:19:18,283 --> 00:19:20,159 Reverend William Benson, 319 00:19:20,326 --> 00:19:22,036 founder of the Church of Revelation, 320 00:19:22,161 --> 00:19:23,580 minister to the downtrodden 321 00:19:23,746 --> 00:19:25,123 and those lost in despair from a life lived 322 00:19:25,290 --> 00:19:26,875 behind the walls of Babylon. 323 00:19:27,542 --> 00:19:28,751 Peace be upon him. 324 00:19:30,086 --> 00:19:32,422 Let us bow our heads in a brief moment of silence 325 00:19:32,589 --> 00:19:34,966 as a sign of reverence for God's prophet. 326 00:19:41,598 --> 00:19:44,434 When Abel Green didn't have a pot to piss in, 327 00:19:44,601 --> 00:19:46,311 nor a window to throw it out. 328 00:19:47,478 --> 00:19:49,355 When I was a child digging in garbage cans 329 00:19:49,522 --> 00:19:51,149 and begging in the streets, 330 00:19:51,316 --> 00:19:54,861 Reverend Benson gave me a home, food, clothing, shelter. 331 00:19:55,028 --> 00:19:57,238 And he taught me the ways of a holy man. 332 00:19:57,363 --> 00:19:58,823 He believed God had brought me to him 333 00:19:58,990 --> 00:20:00,825 for the purpose of training for the ministry. 334 00:20:00,992 --> 00:20:02,327 Now I began to accompany him 335 00:20:02,493 --> 00:20:04,329 and his assistant minister Alonzo Price, 336 00:20:04,495 --> 00:20:06,956 on the visits to the sick and shut in. 337 00:20:07,123 --> 00:20:08,666 I was 17 and living in Prospect 338 00:20:08,833 --> 00:20:10,793 when I performed my first miracle. 339 00:20:12,003 --> 00:20:13,588 Her name was Mary Bingham. 340 00:20:15,214 --> 00:20:16,716 She was a school teacher, 341 00:20:17,884 --> 00:20:20,553 and she reminded me of a photo I had of my mother 342 00:20:20,720 --> 00:20:23,973 who died of tuberculosis when I was just seven years old. 343 00:20:25,391 --> 00:20:28,770 Pneumonia had wrapped Ms. Bingham in its death grip, 344 00:20:30,063 --> 00:20:32,523 and the doctor said she would not survive the night. 345 00:20:34,067 --> 00:20:36,069 And while Reverend Benson and Alonzo consoled the family, 346 00:20:36,235 --> 00:20:38,404 I knelt down on the floor by the bed, 347 00:20:38,571 --> 00:20:39,989 placed my hand on Mary's brow, 348 00:20:40,156 --> 00:20:42,241 bowed my head, and I began to pray. 349 00:20:43,576 --> 00:20:46,287 I prayed all that evening into the next morning. 350 00:20:46,412 --> 00:20:48,289 I didn't sleep, I didn't eat. 351 00:20:48,414 --> 00:20:51,334 It was the end of the second day when I knew. 352 00:20:53,878 --> 00:20:54,837 I stood up, 353 00:20:56,005 --> 00:20:59,926 and Miss Bingham opened her eyes, healed. 354 00:21:01,886 --> 00:21:03,930 In a mere few days she was back in the classroom. 355 00:21:04,097 --> 00:21:05,431 And after her healing, 356 00:21:05,598 --> 00:21:07,558 I became the miracle worker of Prospect. 357 00:21:09,644 --> 00:21:11,312 A massive heart attack took Reverend Benson 358 00:21:11,479 --> 00:21:14,273 away from this world not too long after that. 359 00:21:14,440 --> 00:21:17,026 His last act was to name me Pastor, 360 00:21:17,193 --> 00:21:20,446 and Alonzo Price was to support me in that capacity 361 00:21:20,613 --> 00:21:21,781 as assistant, 362 00:21:23,282 --> 00:21:26,244 Assistant Minister of the Church of Revelation. 363 00:21:32,208 --> 00:21:33,501 Can you see the people? 364 00:21:34,919 --> 00:21:37,380 Imagine the multitudes in your mind. 365 00:21:38,715 --> 00:21:40,466 You know Black folk who heard the tale of the miracle 366 00:21:40,633 --> 00:21:43,386 of Mary and her boy healer came from miles and miles around. 367 00:21:43,553 --> 00:21:44,804 Our numbers grew to the point to where 368 00:21:44,971 --> 00:21:47,140 we had to hold services in fields and parks. 369 00:21:47,265 --> 00:21:49,517 I began to spend long weeks fasting, 370 00:21:49,684 --> 00:21:52,311 hours a day in prayer and meditation. 371 00:21:52,478 --> 00:21:55,231 I stopped combing my hair and cutting my nails. 372 00:21:55,356 --> 00:21:58,693 And I began referring to myself as The Instrument, 373 00:22:00,987 --> 00:22:02,196 The Instrument of God. 374 00:22:04,282 --> 00:22:06,242 When I hadn't come outta my room for several days 375 00:22:06,409 --> 00:22:08,995 and members began to whisper about my sanity, 376 00:22:10,204 --> 00:22:12,457 Mrs. Benson had Alonzo break down the door. 377 00:22:14,375 --> 00:22:17,462 And when she saw me, she broke down crying. 378 00:22:18,713 --> 00:22:22,216 Sister, God has called me to build a Zion 379 00:22:22,383 --> 00:22:24,052 for colored people on Earth, 380 00:22:24,927 --> 00:22:26,512 to be the shepherd of his flock 381 00:22:26,679 --> 00:22:28,598 until our Jesus returns. 382 00:22:30,975 --> 00:22:33,102 I am the instrument of God, 383 00:22:34,562 --> 00:22:37,315 and let all bear witness to my power. 384 00:22:38,858 --> 00:22:42,111 Oh, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah. 385 00:22:48,451 --> 00:22:51,245 Mrs. Benson was speechless for a long time. 386 00:22:52,455 --> 00:22:55,541 Before she left, she walked over and said, 387 00:22:55,666 --> 00:22:58,961 "This is not what my William intended. 388 00:23:00,129 --> 00:23:02,882 Satan done stole your mind boy. 389 00:23:04,092 --> 00:23:06,094 And I can't have no more to do with you." 390 00:23:12,558 --> 00:23:14,560 It was after Mrs. Benson left, 391 00:23:16,062 --> 00:23:20,650 that Alonzo Price shared with me what God revealed to him. 392 00:23:22,068 --> 00:23:25,446 God has also told me that you are to be his instrument. 393 00:23:26,739 --> 00:23:27,949 And I, your first bishop, 394 00:23:28,116 --> 00:23:30,159 Chairman of the church's Holy Council. 395 00:23:30,326 --> 00:23:32,954 You know, he has told me that you are to heal 396 00:23:33,121 --> 00:23:35,248 10 sick people at our next service. 397 00:23:35,414 --> 00:23:36,791 He has provided me proclamations 398 00:23:36,958 --> 00:23:38,334 and instructions as to how our church 399 00:23:38,501 --> 00:23:40,837 is to operate from this moment onward. 400 00:23:41,003 --> 00:23:43,256 You are to take a trip with me 401 00:23:43,422 --> 00:23:47,885 dear brother, tonight. 402 00:23:50,263 --> 00:23:53,975 We drove for a long time down a dark country road. 403 00:23:55,143 --> 00:23:57,186 It was late when we got to where we were going. 404 00:23:57,311 --> 00:24:00,398 And I remember this dog tied to a tree in the yard, 405 00:24:01,649 --> 00:24:03,901 his blood-red eyes looking right through me. 406 00:24:04,068 --> 00:24:06,237 Didn't bark, just growled and stared, 407 00:24:06,404 --> 00:24:08,906 drool dripping from the sides of his mouth. 408 00:24:09,740 --> 00:24:11,701 When we went into the house, 409 00:24:11,868 --> 00:24:14,537 I could smell burning curling irons and hair grease 410 00:24:14,704 --> 00:24:16,247 as soon as we entered. 411 00:24:16,414 --> 00:24:18,583 And in the kitchen was a small woman 412 00:24:18,749 --> 00:24:22,378 with unusually big hands holding a straightening comb. 413 00:24:22,545 --> 00:24:23,796 Her name was Esther. 414 00:24:24,672 --> 00:24:26,174 And when she was done, 415 00:24:27,508 --> 00:24:29,886 my tangled jungle was straighter than a horse's mane. 416 00:24:31,220 --> 00:24:33,681 Rather than cut my fingernails, she painted them gold, 417 00:24:33,848 --> 00:24:37,101 each one representing one of the Lord's Ten Commandments. 418 00:24:37,977 --> 00:24:39,729 And she handed me a mirror and 419 00:24:42,982 --> 00:24:44,775 I saw my transformation, I wept. 420 00:24:45,735 --> 00:24:47,570 Esther began to rub my back, 421 00:24:47,737 --> 00:24:50,907 kissed my tears, massaged me in delicate places 422 00:24:51,073 --> 00:24:52,909 with those powerful hands and 423 00:24:53,993 --> 00:24:56,954 in a moment of weakness, I did sin. 424 00:24:59,957 --> 00:25:02,084 When Alonzo found out he had Esther 425 00:25:02,251 --> 00:25:04,086 excommunicated from the church. 426 00:25:08,549 --> 00:25:12,511 Now I hold in my hands the way of heavenly glory, 427 00:25:12,678 --> 00:25:15,640 which also contains the three points of light. 428 00:25:15,806 --> 00:25:18,684 The truth God whispered into Alonzo's ear. 429 00:25:22,396 --> 00:25:27,443 Point one, no woman shall lie with the Instrument of God. 430 00:25:33,991 --> 00:25:37,036 Point two, no man or woman shall speak 431 00:25:37,161 --> 00:25:38,412 to the Instrument of God 432 00:25:38,537 --> 00:25:40,206 if Bishop Alonzo Price is not present. 433 00:25:40,373 --> 00:25:43,000 Point three, no one shall keep the confidence of anyone 434 00:25:43,167 --> 00:25:45,670 who questions of blasphemes against the Instrument of God, 435 00:25:45,836 --> 00:25:49,382 Bishop Alonzo, or the Instrument's Holy Council. 436 00:25:49,548 --> 00:25:51,092 The holy council were a group of men 437 00:25:51,259 --> 00:25:53,010 God pointed out to Alonzo. 438 00:25:54,512 --> 00:25:55,930 The men God gave the strength to bear the physical burden 439 00:25:56,055 --> 00:25:57,640 of upholding the law amongst the people 440 00:25:57,807 --> 00:26:00,142 and delivering the punishment to the law breakers. 441 00:26:00,309 --> 00:26:03,187 As Aaron spoke for Moses, Alonzo said, 442 00:26:03,354 --> 00:26:05,439 "God tasked him to speak for me." 443 00:26:06,983 --> 00:26:09,819 He delivered the sermons from then on out and 444 00:26:09,986 --> 00:26:12,446 the sick and afflicted came to me to be healed, 445 00:26:13,614 --> 00:26:15,866 and the holy council would line them up 446 00:26:15,992 --> 00:26:19,537 and I would step down from the dais as the sweet cherubs, 447 00:26:19,662 --> 00:26:20,997 small children of the church, 448 00:26:21,163 --> 00:26:22,999 dressed in their white suits and dresses, 449 00:26:23,165 --> 00:26:24,834 angel wings pinned to their backs, 450 00:26:25,001 --> 00:26:27,128 gather my robes so I wouldn't trip. 451 00:26:28,546 --> 00:26:32,633 I would close my eyes and lay my hand upon the heads, 452 00:26:32,800 --> 00:26:34,343 and empty my mind of all thoughts 453 00:26:34,510 --> 00:26:37,221 so that I could feel God's energy flow through me. 454 00:26:38,014 --> 00:26:39,140 Mm. 455 00:26:39,307 --> 00:26:41,350 Feel his healing power stretch forth 456 00:26:41,517 --> 00:26:44,687 through the palm of my hand into their afflicted bodies. 457 00:26:47,606 --> 00:26:49,358 They fell out as I touched them, 458 00:26:50,609 --> 00:26:51,610 each one, 459 00:26:53,029 --> 00:26:55,781 and opened they eyes a few seconds later, fully healed. 460 00:26:58,159 --> 00:26:59,660 Our movement grew, 461 00:27:00,870 --> 00:27:02,163 and so did our wealth. 462 00:27:03,497 --> 00:27:05,333 But the Bible teaches us that it's easier for a camel 463 00:27:05,499 --> 00:27:06,709 to get through the eye of a needle 464 00:27:06,876 --> 00:27:08,210 than a rich man to get into heaven, 465 00:27:08,377 --> 00:27:10,504 but a instrument of God is beyond man, amen? 466 00:27:10,671 --> 00:27:11,589 Amen. 467 00:27:11,756 --> 00:27:13,257 As Alonzo explained, 468 00:27:13,424 --> 00:27:15,509 colored people ain't gonna follow nobody poorer than them. 469 00:27:16,719 --> 00:27:18,512 This was a time of high living, 470 00:27:19,680 --> 00:27:21,349 of gold Cadillacs and white rose petals 471 00:27:21,515 --> 00:27:23,893 sprinkled before my feet, wherever I walked. 472 00:27:29,774 --> 00:27:32,109 This is before everything fell apart, 473 00:27:33,569 --> 00:27:36,739 before our summer revival near the town of Jefferson. 474 00:27:38,282 --> 00:27:42,912 Alonzo had delivered the word, offering had been collected. 475 00:27:43,079 --> 00:27:44,622 Cherubs gather my robes. 476 00:27:44,789 --> 00:27:47,166 I stepped down from the dais to unleash God's healing power, 477 00:27:47,333 --> 00:27:51,545 when I looked into the eyes of Deborah Lee, 478 00:27:54,131 --> 00:27:55,466 that's what she told me her name was 479 00:27:55,591 --> 00:27:57,051 when God had used me to cure her 480 00:27:57,218 --> 00:27:59,720 of lameness in Lunceord County, just two weeks before. 481 00:28:00,930 --> 00:28:03,307 Now, she stood in front of me as a deaf mute. 482 00:28:04,975 --> 00:28:07,686 Alonzo noticed the bamboozled look on my face. 483 00:28:07,812 --> 00:28:09,688 The council swooped in like desperate wolves, 484 00:28:09,855 --> 00:28:12,358 seized Deborah, roughly escorted her away. 485 00:28:12,525 --> 00:28:13,692 Alonzo dispersed the gathering 486 00:28:13,859 --> 00:28:15,611 and I was quickly driven home. 487 00:28:18,948 --> 00:28:21,951 Why would this woman fake her affliction? 488 00:28:23,869 --> 00:28:28,707 Now why would God not smite her for mocking his instrument? 489 00:28:33,129 --> 00:28:34,797 That night I couldn't sleep. 490 00:28:36,841 --> 00:28:39,218 Came down to get a glass of water. 491 00:28:40,970 --> 00:28:41,887 That's when I heard 'em. 492 00:28:42,054 --> 00:28:43,848 "You ignorant fool. 493 00:28:45,224 --> 00:28:49,103 How the hell did you pick the same woman twice?" 494 00:28:51,730 --> 00:28:52,940 Damn, boy. 495 00:28:55,901 --> 00:28:58,154 The words hit me like a runaway train. 496 00:28:59,905 --> 00:29:04,577 Everything I was and everything I thought about myself 497 00:29:04,702 --> 00:29:07,997 and my relationship with God was destroyed in that moment. 498 00:29:09,832 --> 00:29:12,293 Soon as Alonzo came into the hall, 499 00:29:12,418 --> 00:29:15,463 I asked him if he knew he's doomed our souls to hell? 500 00:29:17,798 --> 00:29:20,468 You've turned us into false prophets, brother. 501 00:29:22,553 --> 00:29:23,721 Get on your knees. 502 00:29:25,431 --> 00:29:26,682 Now, Alonzo! 503 00:29:29,643 --> 00:29:33,230 We must beg the Heavenly Father for forgiveness. 504 00:29:34,440 --> 00:29:37,985 We must reveal the truth to God's people, 505 00:29:40,613 --> 00:29:41,989 and accept their judgment. 506 00:29:45,993 --> 00:29:47,870 What have you done, brother? 507 00:29:50,080 --> 00:29:52,583 Lord Jesus, what have you done, man? 508 00:29:57,463 --> 00:29:59,715 The entire holy council had been in his study 509 00:29:59,882 --> 00:30:02,051 when they came down on me like they did, Deborah, 510 00:30:02,218 --> 00:30:03,469 stripped me to my under clothes, 511 00:30:03,594 --> 00:30:06,388 cut my hair, my nails, bound my hands. 512 00:30:06,555 --> 00:30:09,934 And then Alonzo towering over my shivering frame, 513 00:30:10,100 --> 00:30:12,895 cast his sentence like a judge from the Old Testament. 514 00:30:13,062 --> 00:30:16,273 "You are no longer the Instrument of God. 515 00:30:17,733 --> 00:30:20,110 You have blasphemed against the bishop and the holy council, 516 00:30:20,236 --> 00:30:22,988 therefore I'm assuming leadership of the church. 517 00:30:24,406 --> 00:30:26,867 We'll tell the flock that you have ascended to return 518 00:30:26,992 --> 00:30:28,827 with Christ at the end of days. 519 00:30:30,204 --> 00:30:31,747 Now take this spawn of Satan 520 00:30:31,914 --> 00:30:34,250 where we'll never hear his blasphemous tongue again." 521 00:30:37,044 --> 00:30:39,088 They threw me in the trunk of a car, 522 00:30:40,714 --> 00:30:42,967 and we drove for hours. 523 00:30:50,808 --> 00:30:52,685 When they opened the trunk, 524 00:30:52,851 --> 00:30:54,353 they set upon me with clubs 525 00:30:54,520 --> 00:30:56,105 and left me in a bloody mess on the side of the road 526 00:30:56,272 --> 00:30:57,731 in the middle of nowhere. 527 00:30:59,024 --> 00:31:01,527 I laid there for a long time thinking I was dead. 528 00:31:02,319 --> 00:31:05,364 Then I heard a truck, footsteps, 529 00:31:06,657 --> 00:31:08,450 and I felt a cold barrel of a shotgun 530 00:31:08,617 --> 00:31:10,619 against the temple of my head, 531 00:31:10,786 --> 00:31:13,330 and heard a voice most often associated with those 532 00:31:13,497 --> 00:31:15,249 that hang my kind from trees. 533 00:31:15,374 --> 00:31:17,418 "Explain yourself, nigger." 534 00:31:22,423 --> 00:31:25,926 God has truly forsaken me. 535 00:31:27,386 --> 00:31:30,389 Were the only words I can muster past my busted swollen lips 536 00:31:32,433 --> 00:31:33,559 I passed out. 537 00:31:35,227 --> 00:31:38,188 When I woke I was in a barn. 538 00:31:39,064 --> 00:31:40,858 I was fully clothed. 539 00:31:41,025 --> 00:31:42,651 My wounds had been bandaged, 540 00:31:45,237 --> 00:31:47,114 and there was a jug of water, 541 00:31:52,161 --> 00:31:53,746 and a note that read, 542 00:31:54,913 --> 00:31:58,042 "Have your Black ass out this county by sunset." 543 00:32:04,214 --> 00:32:05,758 Testimony is this. 544 00:32:07,009 --> 00:32:10,387 God is good all the time. 545 00:32:11,388 --> 00:32:12,598 And as you can see, 546 00:32:12,723 --> 00:32:14,141 I embraced my second chance 547 00:32:14,308 --> 00:32:17,061 and got my Black ass out that county by sunset. 548 00:32:23,442 --> 00:32:25,277 So the past few months, 549 00:32:25,444 --> 00:32:28,280 I've been working as a porter on this train. 550 00:32:28,447 --> 00:32:30,240 I hold Bible studies on Wednesday nights 551 00:32:30,407 --> 00:32:33,160 for the other porters and the cooks, too. 552 00:32:33,327 --> 00:32:36,372 I'm no longer performing miracles. 553 00:32:36,538 --> 00:32:39,208 God doesn't trust me in that capacity anymore. 554 00:32:41,043 --> 00:32:43,462 Yeah. I'm just grateful for a second chance, 555 00:32:43,629 --> 00:32:45,047 a chance to show Reverend Benson, 556 00:32:45,172 --> 00:32:46,590 who I know is looking down on me right now 557 00:32:46,715 --> 00:32:48,050 from behind them pearly gates, 558 00:32:48,217 --> 00:32:50,469 that his saving my life was not in vain. 559 00:32:52,137 --> 00:32:54,848 I know I'm a child of God and made in his image, 560 00:32:56,767 --> 00:32:57,893 but I also know. 561 00:33:00,187 --> 00:33:05,567 โ™ช The devil never rests come day, come dusk, come dawn โ™ช 562 00:33:06,819 --> 00:33:11,031 โ™ช You compromise, you wind up sold in parts โ™ช 563 00:33:11,865 --> 00:33:13,075 โ™ช So don't it strike you funny โ™ช 564 00:33:13,242 --> 00:33:16,745 โ™ช When you look him in the eye โ™ช 565 00:33:16,870 --> 00:33:21,792 โ™ช The devil looks a lot like you and I? โ™ช 566 00:35:26,542 --> 00:35:29,545 When I first met William Benson, 567 00:35:29,711 --> 00:35:31,421 I was handcuffed to a hospital bed 568 00:35:31,547 --> 00:35:34,800 with three broken ribs facing robbery and assault charges. 569 00:35:35,759 --> 00:35:37,135 Shit like that can happen 570 00:35:37,261 --> 00:35:38,929 when you rob houses and run from cops. 571 00:35:41,181 --> 00:35:43,475 Needless to say, I was desperate, 572 00:35:43,642 --> 00:35:45,477 and I ain't seen no future without a cage 573 00:35:45,644 --> 00:35:47,312 and some muscle bound motherfucker with a shiv in his hands 574 00:35:47,479 --> 00:35:49,231 and plans to make me his bitch. 575 00:35:51,400 --> 00:35:53,485 I was vulnerable, you dig? 576 00:35:55,195 --> 00:35:56,196 And Benson, 577 00:35:58,115 --> 00:35:59,408 he knew that shit. 578 00:36:14,631 --> 00:36:17,134 Let me ask you a question. 579 00:36:17,301 --> 00:36:18,552 Do you still go to hell 580 00:36:18,719 --> 00:36:20,178 for making a deal with the devil, 581 00:36:20,345 --> 00:36:22,973 if the devil presents himself like Christ? 582 00:36:23,140 --> 00:36:25,183 Look look, what if an angel ends up dying 583 00:36:25,350 --> 00:36:26,935 during the process? 584 00:36:27,060 --> 00:36:30,188 Ooh, then you best believe you going to hell, 585 00:36:30,355 --> 00:36:32,900 with some groovy gasoline drawers on too. 586 00:36:33,734 --> 00:36:34,943 You know, my thing is this. 587 00:36:35,068 --> 00:36:36,320 Make sure you take the bastard 588 00:36:36,486 --> 00:36:39,281 that put you on the path with you. 589 00:36:43,660 --> 00:36:45,537 When Benson walked into that hospital room 590 00:36:45,704 --> 00:36:48,624 with them suede patches on the elbows of his tweed jacket, 591 00:36:48,790 --> 00:36:50,792 only Black man I ever seen look anything like that 592 00:36:50,959 --> 00:36:53,128 was Greg Morris on Mission Impossible. 593 00:36:54,171 --> 00:36:56,006 He sat down real slow and cool like, 594 00:36:56,173 --> 00:36:58,300 like you could imagine Steve McQueen doing 595 00:36:58,425 --> 00:36:59,927 if he was a soul brother. 596 00:37:01,261 --> 00:37:05,724 Abel Green, I'm William Benson, special agent, FBI. 597 00:37:07,017 --> 00:37:10,979 Then he crossed his legs, leaned back, smiled. 598 00:37:12,147 --> 00:37:14,316 Not that, I got your ass now, kind of smile. 599 00:37:14,483 --> 00:37:18,946 No rather, everything's going be all right bay bruh. 600 00:37:19,112 --> 00:37:20,322 That kind of smile. 601 00:37:22,407 --> 00:37:25,911 "A man's life is like a page in a novel. 602 00:37:26,828 --> 00:37:28,205 In order to have a happy ending, 603 00:37:28,372 --> 00:37:29,706 a man's gotta write sentences 604 00:37:29,873 --> 00:37:32,000 that makes that happy ending possible. 605 00:37:33,210 --> 00:37:35,003 You ain't writing them kind of sentences, son. 606 00:37:35,170 --> 00:37:37,839 Your paragraphs are all fucked up. 607 00:37:39,549 --> 00:37:41,301 And in your current chapter, you're facing time 608 00:37:41,468 --> 00:37:43,095 for armed robbery, assault, possession of stolen goods. 609 00:37:43,261 --> 00:37:44,554 Good gracious, nigga. 610 00:37:45,639 --> 00:37:47,265 The point is, right now your story 611 00:37:47,432 --> 00:37:50,227 ain't got no happy ending and no way to get to one. 612 00:37:51,353 --> 00:37:52,521 I can change that. 613 00:37:53,397 --> 00:37:56,316 You want me to change that." 614 00:37:58,694 --> 00:38:00,278 Then he stood up, walked out the room, 615 00:38:00,445 --> 00:38:01,780 I ain't seen him again till I was ready 616 00:38:01,947 --> 00:38:03,782 to get out the hospital and head to jail. 617 00:38:04,908 --> 00:38:06,618 Told me the deal in simple sentences. 618 00:38:06,785 --> 00:38:08,120 "And I'm sure you heard of this group 619 00:38:08,286 --> 00:38:10,414 calling themselves the Black Panthers. 620 00:38:10,580 --> 00:38:12,874 Yeah, well the FBI heard some things, too." 621 00:38:13,041 --> 00:38:14,710 Needed someone to confirm or deny. 622 00:38:14,876 --> 00:38:16,628 Told me I was to go down to their offices and try to join. 623 00:38:16,753 --> 00:38:18,463 They'll meet me at a place and time of his choosing 624 00:38:18,588 --> 00:38:19,589 once a week. 625 00:38:20,799 --> 00:38:22,134 They chose me 'cause I grew up on the west side 626 00:38:22,300 --> 00:38:24,011 with this cat named Frank Red. 627 00:38:24,177 --> 00:38:25,637 Frank was involved with the Panthers 628 00:38:25,804 --> 00:38:27,264 and 'cause he knew me from the old neighborhood, 629 00:38:27,431 --> 00:38:29,099 Feds figured that might be my way in. 630 00:38:30,517 --> 00:38:33,562 Benson had me feeling like Eliot fucking Ness, you dig? 631 00:38:33,687 --> 00:38:36,064 They never used the word informant. 632 00:38:36,231 --> 00:38:38,400 I never thought of myself as a snitch. 633 00:38:38,567 --> 00:38:41,278 No, I was special agent Abel Green on the scene. 634 00:38:41,445 --> 00:38:44,239 Star of the story, the hero, shiiit. 635 00:38:47,617 --> 00:38:50,620 Hero ain't nothing but a goddamn sandwich. 636 00:39:00,672 --> 00:39:04,342 โ™ช Revolution has come, off the pigs โ™ช 637 00:39:04,509 --> 00:39:08,138 โ™ช Time to pick up a gun, off the pigs โ™ช 638 00:39:08,305 --> 00:39:11,224 โ™ช The revolution has come, off the pigs โ™ช 639 00:39:11,391 --> 00:39:16,188 โ™ช Time to pick up a gun, off the pigs โ™ช 640 00:39:18,815 --> 00:39:20,776 I ain't gonna lie. 641 00:39:20,942 --> 00:39:23,570 First time I went to a rally I was, 642 00:39:23,737 --> 00:39:24,780 I was mesmerized. 643 00:39:26,156 --> 00:39:27,949 I ain't never seen no shit like that before in my life. 644 00:39:28,116 --> 00:39:31,328 Talking about the cops like that with the cops right there. 645 00:39:31,495 --> 00:39:33,872 Black people, looking good, too. 646 00:39:34,039 --> 00:39:36,750 Sharp as a tack and comfortable as a broke dick dog 647 00:39:36,875 --> 00:39:39,044 talking that big bad and bold shit. 648 00:39:39,211 --> 00:39:41,880 Black leather jackets, berets, powder blue shirts, 649 00:39:42,047 --> 00:39:43,799 fists raised in the Black power salute. 650 00:39:43,965 --> 00:39:46,093 Baby, those pigs was red as beets wanting to do something, 651 00:39:46,218 --> 00:39:48,053 but scared to 'cause there wasn't no easy way. 652 00:39:48,178 --> 00:39:49,262 Black folks weren't gonna be 653 00:39:49,429 --> 00:39:50,889 the only ones leaving fucked up. 654 00:39:54,851 --> 00:39:56,478 Frank was at the party office when I went in 655 00:39:56,645 --> 00:39:58,230 and asked to join, 656 00:39:58,396 --> 00:40:00,107 and we talked about some people from the old neighborhood, 657 00:40:00,232 --> 00:40:01,566 what I've been up to in the years past 658 00:40:01,733 --> 00:40:03,068 since we'd seen each other. 659 00:40:03,235 --> 00:40:05,403 And then he broke out into this bag about 660 00:40:05,570 --> 00:40:06,613 how I've been locked up, 661 00:40:06,738 --> 00:40:08,323 because I was Black and poor, 662 00:40:08,490 --> 00:40:10,992 which was a result of capitalism that couldn't be reformed, 663 00:40:11,159 --> 00:40:13,286 that had to be torn down for the people and the planet, 664 00:40:13,453 --> 00:40:14,830 and this and that. 665 00:40:14,996 --> 00:40:16,873 I mean this cat could run it down, runnin'. 666 00:40:16,998 --> 00:40:18,583 Then an angel walked in. 667 00:40:19,668 --> 00:40:20,585 Ooh. 668 00:40:23,463 --> 00:40:24,756 Chocolate angel. 669 00:40:26,049 --> 00:40:28,510 Big doe eyes, curly fro. 670 00:40:28,677 --> 00:40:32,180 "Comrade Mary, this here's my man, Abel Green, 671 00:40:32,347 --> 00:40:33,849 from my old neighborhood, 672 00:40:34,015 --> 00:40:36,518 says he wants to join the vanguard of the struggle." 673 00:40:36,685 --> 00:40:39,980 And I was like, nah, I ain't never heard of no vanguards, 674 00:40:40,105 --> 00:40:41,648 I wanna join the Panthers. 675 00:40:44,442 --> 00:40:47,863 They both bust out laughing at my ignorant ass. 676 00:40:48,029 --> 00:40:49,489 But her laugh though, 677 00:40:51,032 --> 00:40:54,786 it's like listenin' to Motown on a sunny day in the park. 678 00:40:54,911 --> 00:40:56,621 I got lost and caught up in it. 679 00:40:56,788 --> 00:41:00,625 And Frank asked me why I wanted to join the party. 680 00:41:00,792 --> 00:41:02,377 Well I was prepared for this, 681 00:41:02,544 --> 00:41:03,920 and I felt like Hank Aaron at the plate 682 00:41:04,087 --> 00:41:05,547 getting ready to knock one out the park. 683 00:41:05,714 --> 00:41:09,718 So I go, "so I can kill honky pigs, brother." 684 00:41:15,056 --> 00:41:16,349 Room was silent. 685 00:41:17,017 --> 00:41:18,435 Frank looked at me 686 00:41:18,602 --> 00:41:20,228 like I was the dumbest motherfucker on Earth, 687 00:41:21,354 --> 00:41:23,106 and then he broke out into his bag. 688 00:41:25,692 --> 00:41:28,195 "The pig is a tool of the power structure 689 00:41:28,361 --> 00:41:30,655 created to suppress and oppress the masses. 690 00:41:30,780 --> 00:41:32,407 The pig is not a color. 691 00:41:32,574 --> 00:41:34,534 It's obvious that you don't understand what we are about. 692 00:41:34,659 --> 00:41:36,745 We are not trying to replace racism with racism, 693 00:41:36,870 --> 00:41:40,665 rather replace racism spawned by capitalism with socialism. 694 00:41:40,832 --> 00:41:43,084 Do not believe what they say about who we are in the press. 695 00:41:43,210 --> 00:41:44,920 The press is a tool used by the capitalists 696 00:41:45,086 --> 00:41:46,504 to misinform, spread lies, 697 00:41:46,671 --> 00:41:49,591 and alienate the vanguard from the people. 698 00:41:49,758 --> 00:41:50,800 Boy." 699 00:41:55,555 --> 00:41:57,390 I'm telling you, them ole capitalists were a bitch. 700 00:41:57,557 --> 00:41:59,142 And then Mary chimed in, 701 00:41:59,309 --> 00:42:02,062 throwing me the lifeline I wish she never had. 702 00:42:02,187 --> 00:42:04,022 "Just because the brother doesn't know the time 703 00:42:04,189 --> 00:42:07,400 doesn't mean he can't learn what the time is, Frank." 704 00:42:10,195 --> 00:42:13,031 "Everyone's level of consciousness is not the same. 705 00:42:13,198 --> 00:42:14,616 We have to raise the people up. 706 00:42:14,783 --> 00:42:17,327 We have to educate the people, you know that." 707 00:42:24,167 --> 00:42:26,336 So, they invited me to the political education classes 708 00:42:26,461 --> 00:42:27,879 they held on Friday nights. 709 00:42:28,046 --> 00:42:30,173 I said right on, gave him five and split. 710 00:42:30,340 --> 00:42:34,386 Met Benson at O'Leary's, a dive bar in Old Town. 711 00:42:34,552 --> 00:42:38,014 He just sat, stared into his glass of Scotch. 712 00:42:38,139 --> 00:42:40,308 Soaked it in what I told him. 713 00:42:40,475 --> 00:42:42,560 He smiled that smile of his, 714 00:42:42,727 --> 00:42:45,939 told me I done good, slid me an envelope. 715 00:42:47,274 --> 00:42:49,150 250 bucks. 716 00:42:50,235 --> 00:42:53,196 Yeah, I was on cloud nine baby. 717 00:42:54,364 --> 00:42:56,783 But that night I dreamed about Mary Bingham. 718 00:42:56,950 --> 00:42:58,243 I ain't gonna lie, when I woke up, 719 00:42:58,368 --> 00:43:00,370 them sheets were a little sticky. 720 00:43:01,997 --> 00:43:03,081 That Friday night I had my ass at them 721 00:43:03,248 --> 00:43:05,208 political education classes. 722 00:43:05,375 --> 00:43:07,711 And when I tell you them discussions were heavy, 723 00:43:07,877 --> 00:43:09,212 Lenin, Marx, Mao, Fanon. 724 00:43:09,337 --> 00:43:10,755 I ain't never heard of none of these dudes. 725 00:43:10,922 --> 00:43:12,007 And these cats were talking about 'em 726 00:43:12,132 --> 00:43:13,466 like cats be on the corner 727 00:43:13,633 --> 00:43:15,385 talking about Walt Frazier and the Knicks. 728 00:43:15,552 --> 00:43:17,053 I'm making connections to what was going on 729 00:43:17,178 --> 00:43:18,555 in ghettos of America 730 00:43:18,722 --> 00:43:21,141 to what was happening in ghettos all across the world. 731 00:43:21,266 --> 00:43:22,809 And sometimes Mary would be there, 732 00:43:22,976 --> 00:43:24,519 and whenever she made a point, 733 00:43:24,686 --> 00:43:26,813 the crowd would erupt into chants of right on, Sister, 734 00:43:26,938 --> 00:43:28,773 tell it like it is Sister Mary. 735 00:43:31,276 --> 00:43:32,944 I would leave Mary's name out of it 736 00:43:33,111 --> 00:43:34,779 whenever I reported to Benson. 737 00:43:36,489 --> 00:43:38,533 I told him everything else though. 738 00:43:38,700 --> 00:43:40,827 Who was there, who said what. 739 00:43:42,078 --> 00:43:44,497 We talked about a lot of other things too. 740 00:43:45,206 --> 00:43:46,541 Our lives, our families. 741 00:43:46,708 --> 00:43:48,752 He'd give me advice, the type of advice I wanted 742 00:43:48,918 --> 00:43:50,628 from an older Black man all my life 743 00:43:50,795 --> 00:43:53,548 to fill the void I was trying to fill with nigga logic, 744 00:43:53,715 --> 00:43:54,716 which the only type of knowledge 745 00:43:54,883 --> 00:43:56,176 a blood from the street got, 746 00:43:56,301 --> 00:43:58,428 but listening, learning from Benson, 747 00:44:00,638 --> 00:44:03,224 I really thought my life was gonna be different. 748 00:44:08,480 --> 00:44:09,856 After a few months, 749 00:44:10,023 --> 00:44:11,358 the Panthers started to recognize my dedication, 750 00:44:11,524 --> 00:44:12,942 let me volunteer at the breakfast program 751 00:44:13,068 --> 00:44:14,527 they ran for the kids. 752 00:44:14,694 --> 00:44:16,571 Them hungry kids be in there lined up. 753 00:44:16,738 --> 00:44:21,659 Big eyes, swollen bellies and they would feed 'em man, free. 754 00:44:22,577 --> 00:44:23,912 You know, after I told Benson 755 00:44:24,079 --> 00:44:25,205 how the community was looking at the Panthers 756 00:44:25,330 --> 00:44:26,664 like superheroes and shit, 757 00:44:26,831 --> 00:44:29,042 that's when things started to heat up. 758 00:44:29,209 --> 00:44:30,752 Brothers started to get arrested constantly 759 00:44:30,919 --> 00:44:32,462 on bullshit charges. 760 00:44:32,629 --> 00:44:34,297 My main man, Tommy, who worked at the free health clinic, 761 00:44:34,464 --> 00:44:36,424 the Panthers ran on Jefferson Street, got snagged. 762 00:44:36,591 --> 00:44:38,718 So Frank assigned me to the clinic to help out. 763 00:44:38,885 --> 00:44:42,180 And Mary, she was a nurse prior to joining the party. 764 00:44:42,347 --> 00:44:43,807 So she ran the clinic 765 00:44:43,973 --> 00:44:46,851 along with this other doctor from the community and, 766 00:44:49,020 --> 00:44:50,230 no, no, no, no, no, no. 767 00:44:50,397 --> 00:44:51,815 Come on now, I gotta get to O'Leary's. 768 00:44:53,024 --> 00:44:55,860 And start the fuckin' train man, come on. 769 00:44:56,027 --> 00:44:57,195 Shit! 770 00:44:57,320 --> 00:44:58,279 Damn. 771 00:45:11,418 --> 00:45:13,461 Wanna know how beautiful Mary was? 772 00:45:15,380 --> 00:45:19,008 One night she was bandaging the hand of this junkie, 773 00:45:19,843 --> 00:45:21,428 when the junkie just vamped, 774 00:45:22,512 --> 00:45:24,097 grabbed her and started demanding drugs. 775 00:45:24,264 --> 00:45:26,433 I picked up this metal tray, about to bash him in the head, 776 00:45:26,599 --> 00:45:29,269 when Mary just kneed him in the nuts. 777 00:45:31,020 --> 00:45:32,772 He dropped like a sack of potatoes, 778 00:45:32,939 --> 00:45:34,858 and she motioned me over to help her sit him in the chair. 779 00:45:35,024 --> 00:45:38,194 She said, "Let's make sure we get him something to eat. 780 00:45:39,571 --> 00:45:41,573 Brother looks like he hasn't eaten in a while." 781 00:45:41,739 --> 00:45:44,117 And the junkie, you know, tears coming down his face, 782 00:45:44,284 --> 00:45:45,827 he can't stop apologizing. 783 00:45:45,952 --> 00:45:47,996 And I done seen junkies do a bunch of shit. 784 00:45:48,163 --> 00:45:49,747 Apologizing after being kneed in the nuts 785 00:45:49,914 --> 00:45:54,002 while trying to get a fix, ain't one of 'em. 786 00:45:55,336 --> 00:45:57,589 We became close over the months that followed and, 787 00:45:59,215 --> 00:46:00,425 damn, she was right. 788 00:46:01,468 --> 00:46:03,261 I was getting edumacated, you dig? 789 00:46:03,428 --> 00:46:05,138 In a way I never had before. 790 00:46:05,305 --> 00:46:07,307 Hell, I ain't know shit about Black people, not history. 791 00:46:07,474 --> 00:46:09,392 Something nobody white ain't taught me. 792 00:46:09,517 --> 00:46:11,019 I ain't know nothing about the government either, 793 00:46:11,186 --> 00:46:12,270 so the more I learned about the Panthers 794 00:46:12,437 --> 00:46:13,771 and what they were trying to do, 795 00:46:13,938 --> 00:46:15,648 the shittier I felt for trying to betray 'em. 796 00:46:16,816 --> 00:46:18,193 But what was I gonna do? 797 00:46:18,359 --> 00:46:19,694 You know, come up to Frank and be like... 798 00:46:19,861 --> 00:46:22,447 Hey blood, I hate to drop this on you, 799 00:46:22,572 --> 00:46:27,035 but I've been snitching for the FBI for the last six months, 800 00:46:27,202 --> 00:46:31,873 but I like y'all now so I ain't gonna do it no more. 801 00:46:32,040 --> 00:46:34,667 We cool? 802 00:46:37,712 --> 00:46:39,506 Instead, I thought about Mary. 803 00:46:40,965 --> 00:46:43,760 We began spending the few free moments we had together. 804 00:46:44,928 --> 00:46:47,639 And when I was with Mary, I felt like a man, 805 00:46:47,805 --> 00:46:49,849 not like somebody pretending to be one, 806 00:46:50,016 --> 00:46:53,144 and that was something very, very new for me. 807 00:46:54,145 --> 00:46:55,271 And one night we were cleaning up 808 00:46:55,438 --> 00:46:56,648 and I just came straight out 809 00:46:56,814 --> 00:46:58,274 and asked her what we were doing? 810 00:46:58,441 --> 00:47:00,527 And she took my face in her hands, 811 00:47:01,778 --> 00:47:03,738 she kissed me long and deep, 812 00:47:05,740 --> 00:47:07,242 and I accepted what I knew 813 00:47:07,408 --> 00:47:09,452 from the very first moment she spoke up for me. 814 00:47:11,204 --> 00:47:12,497 It was around this time Benson 815 00:47:12,664 --> 00:47:14,832 started hounding me about these guns. 816 00:47:14,958 --> 00:47:17,585 These illegal guns the Panthers were supposed to have? 817 00:47:17,752 --> 00:47:20,129 And then he started asking me about the clinic constantly, 818 00:47:20,296 --> 00:47:23,508 even had me draw him a diagram where everything was. 819 00:47:23,675 --> 00:47:25,552 So I finally just asked him 820 00:47:25,718 --> 00:47:27,679 if they were gonna raid the clinic. 821 00:47:30,473 --> 00:47:31,516 He was silent. 822 00:47:33,184 --> 00:47:35,311 And that's when I told him about Mary, 823 00:47:37,522 --> 00:47:38,523 and that I loved her, 824 00:47:40,191 --> 00:47:41,568 and I asked him to let me know 825 00:47:41,693 --> 00:47:43,444 if they were gonna raid the place, you know, 826 00:47:43,611 --> 00:47:45,405 to give me a heads up so I can make sure she wasn't there. 827 00:47:45,572 --> 00:47:48,908 And he looked me dead in my eyes and said, of course I will. 828 00:47:50,702 --> 00:47:51,786 Of course, I will. 829 00:47:53,621 --> 00:47:54,622 He smiled, 830 00:47:56,124 --> 00:47:59,335 patted me on the back, slid me an envelope full of cash 831 00:47:59,502 --> 00:48:01,713 and ordered us two T-bone steaks. 832 00:48:05,758 --> 00:48:06,676 Well, 833 00:48:08,136 --> 00:48:09,679 they never raided the clinic. 834 00:48:12,223 --> 00:48:14,058 They burnt the motherfucka down. 835 00:48:17,770 --> 00:48:18,771 It was late. 836 00:48:20,064 --> 00:48:21,482 Maybe they thought nobody was gonna be in there, 837 00:48:21,649 --> 00:48:23,192 but they couldn't have known, right? 838 00:48:25,194 --> 00:48:26,195 Mary, 839 00:48:27,447 --> 00:48:30,658 she had left, came back to do some work, laid down, 840 00:48:30,825 --> 00:48:32,577 fell asleep on the couch and, 841 00:48:34,996 --> 00:48:36,247 she ain't make it out. 842 00:48:39,500 --> 00:48:40,877 She ain't make it out. 843 00:48:46,841 --> 00:48:48,926 It didn't take the Panthers long to figure out who did it. 844 00:48:49,093 --> 00:48:52,096 This drug dealer by the name of Alonzo Price 845 00:48:52,263 --> 00:48:53,640 had been selling drugs in the community, 846 00:48:53,806 --> 00:48:55,433 was getting heat from the Panthers 847 00:48:55,600 --> 00:48:57,310 and given an ultimatum what was gonna happen to his ass 848 00:48:57,477 --> 00:48:58,770 if he ain't stop. 849 00:48:59,771 --> 00:49:02,315 Crazy thing is, I had met Alonzo, 850 00:49:03,232 --> 00:49:04,692 but not in the streets. 851 00:49:05,401 --> 00:49:07,028 I met him in O'Leary's, 852 00:49:08,321 --> 00:49:11,115 and Frank told me they found a business card on him 853 00:49:11,282 --> 00:49:13,993 from a FBI agent named William Benson. 854 00:49:15,244 --> 00:49:17,538 He said he told him some other things too. 855 00:49:18,831 --> 00:49:20,583 Now I seen a couple of brothers move to block the doors, 856 00:49:20,750 --> 00:49:22,085 but they was too slow. 857 00:49:22,251 --> 00:49:23,795 I bust through 'em, they chased after me. 858 00:49:23,961 --> 00:49:26,714 I lost 'em in the city and I just made this train. 859 00:49:32,428 --> 00:49:33,554 I'm a snitch. 860 00:49:37,892 --> 00:49:39,018 I'm a fuckin', 861 00:49:40,436 --> 00:49:43,147 I'm a low life fuckin' rat, that's what the fuck I am. 862 00:49:54,075 --> 00:49:56,953 But even Judas had his reasons. 863 00:49:57,120 --> 00:49:58,579 If you dumb enough to think it's just about 864 00:49:58,746 --> 00:50:00,081 30 pieces of silver, 865 00:50:00,248 --> 00:50:01,999 then you dumb as a box of rocks for real. 866 00:50:04,919 --> 00:50:06,254 Shit ain't that simple. 867 00:50:06,421 --> 00:50:07,380 Nothing is. 868 00:50:09,382 --> 00:50:13,177 But, Judas did try to make it right when he hung himself. 869 00:50:14,554 --> 00:50:16,180 I know putting a bullet through Benson's head 870 00:50:16,305 --> 00:50:18,057 isn't gonna bring Mary back. 871 00:50:20,727 --> 00:50:21,936 But I'm still gonna do it. 872 00:50:23,187 --> 00:50:25,606 Have to, it's the least I can fuckin' do. 873 00:50:34,532 --> 00:50:35,491 Ah fuck! 874 00:50:37,201 --> 00:50:39,036 Fuck they get on the train? 875 00:50:40,663 --> 00:50:41,998 It's Frank. 876 00:50:42,123 --> 00:50:44,709 He got three other Panthers with him. 877 00:50:48,463 --> 00:50:49,422 Ah, 878 00:50:51,340 --> 00:50:54,677 I guess Abel Green still don't get no happy ending. 879 00:50:56,596 --> 00:50:59,307 Fuck you too, William Benson. 880 00:51:01,851 --> 00:51:02,810 Fuck you. 881 00:52:25,434 --> 00:52:27,687 You're staring at me like that because you've seen me, 882 00:52:27,854 --> 00:52:30,898 but for the life of you, you can't remember where. 883 00:52:32,066 --> 00:52:34,902 I would tell you to stop, but you won't. 884 00:52:37,822 --> 00:52:39,240 I've just done the most difficult thing 885 00:52:39,407 --> 00:52:40,658 I've ever had to do in my life, 886 00:52:40,825 --> 00:52:42,660 so I don't feel like engaging you. 887 00:52:44,954 --> 00:52:47,331 But um, If I don't say something, 888 00:52:47,498 --> 00:52:48,791 you're just gonna keep staring at me 889 00:52:48,958 --> 00:52:49,917 until I get off the train. 890 00:52:50,084 --> 00:52:52,420 So here it is, I'm Abel Green. 891 00:52:55,548 --> 00:52:57,967 You probably recognize me as Donny Diamond 892 00:52:58,092 --> 00:53:00,344 from "The Revenge of the Killer Pimps." 893 00:53:00,511 --> 00:53:02,179 Oh, you also could have seen me in "The Death Merchant" 894 00:53:02,346 --> 00:53:04,056 or the "Take Back the Street" series, 895 00:53:04,223 --> 00:53:06,142 but I haven't done any films like that in a long, long time. 896 00:53:06,309 --> 00:53:08,561 But I see you have your paper there ready to be signed. 897 00:53:08,728 --> 00:53:10,021 So I'll take it from you. 898 00:53:10,187 --> 00:53:11,522 Oh wow, you went to go see a play? 899 00:53:11,689 --> 00:53:14,692 That's awesome. 900 00:53:14,859 --> 00:53:16,485 All right, have a great night. 901 00:53:20,823 --> 00:53:21,866 Oh man. 902 00:53:24,076 --> 00:53:25,328 You wanna know what it's like 903 00:53:25,494 --> 00:53:27,455 being a Black actor in Hollywood? 904 00:53:28,623 --> 00:53:32,168 In 1988 it's about being killed by white men 905 00:53:32,335 --> 00:53:34,337 with raspy voices. 906 00:53:35,421 --> 00:53:36,589 Yeah, I've been shot a lot. 907 00:53:36,756 --> 00:53:38,841 You know, Magnums, shotguns, Uzis. 908 00:53:39,008 --> 00:53:40,468 Been blown up quite a bit too. 909 00:53:40,593 --> 00:53:44,013 You know, grenades, rocket launchers, twice. 910 00:53:44,180 --> 00:53:46,849 In "Death Merchant 3", the white vigilante hero 911 00:53:47,016 --> 00:53:49,644 strangles me with his shoe strings. 912 00:53:49,810 --> 00:53:53,064 In "Take Back the Streets" the white vigilante hero 913 00:53:53,230 --> 00:53:55,066 throws me out of a skyscraper. 914 00:53:55,232 --> 00:53:57,193 In "Take Back the Streets Again", 915 00:53:57,360 --> 00:53:59,779 the white vigilante hero douses me in gasoline 916 00:53:59,946 --> 00:54:01,447 and sets me on fire. 917 00:54:01,614 --> 00:54:04,992 And in "Take Back the The Final Chapter," 918 00:54:06,494 --> 00:54:08,371 the white vigilante hero's daughter 919 00:54:08,537 --> 00:54:09,830 cuts off my testicles 920 00:54:09,997 --> 00:54:12,458 and stomps 'em with her ruby red high heels. 921 00:54:13,668 --> 00:54:15,920 Yeah, I stopped doing movies after that. 922 00:54:17,505 --> 00:54:19,215 Didn't stop acting though. 923 00:54:20,424 --> 00:54:22,510 I took a job over at Alonzo's Hard Bodies, 924 00:54:23,511 --> 00:54:24,929 it's a vitamin and supplement shop. 925 00:54:25,054 --> 00:54:27,431 Alonzo Price was this steroid freak, 926 00:54:27,556 --> 00:54:29,642 competed in a couple Mr. Universes, 927 00:54:29,809 --> 00:54:31,686 and he liked to hire actors as salesmen 928 00:54:31,852 --> 00:54:34,814 because you had to be able to act to sell that bullshit. 929 00:54:36,148 --> 00:54:37,817 Sir, can I be honest with you? 930 00:54:37,984 --> 00:54:39,610 Take a look at yourself. 931 00:54:39,777 --> 00:54:42,321 Now, would you fuck you? 932 00:54:43,948 --> 00:54:45,408 See? But that's not your fault. 933 00:54:45,533 --> 00:54:46,867 I know you care about your body. 934 00:54:46,993 --> 00:54:48,285 I know you like to work out, 935 00:54:48,411 --> 00:54:49,954 but to get the results that you need, 936 00:54:50,121 --> 00:54:51,622 you need this, my friend, 937 00:54:51,789 --> 00:54:54,291 Price's Big and Swole Protein Powder. 938 00:54:54,458 --> 00:54:58,212 For just 19.95, you too can be ridiculously ripped 939 00:54:58,379 --> 00:54:59,964 and stupendously stacked 940 00:55:00,131 --> 00:55:04,093 and as a side effect, it makes your penis grow three inches. 941 00:55:06,012 --> 00:55:07,471 And then one day while stacking the shelves, 942 00:55:07,638 --> 00:55:11,308 I heard, "Does man love art? 943 00:55:12,268 --> 00:55:15,521 Man visits art, but squirms. 944 00:55:15,646 --> 00:55:17,565 Art hurts. 945 00:55:17,732 --> 00:55:21,944 Art urges voyages, and it's easier to stay at home. 946 00:55:23,070 --> 00:55:24,488 You wanna stay at home, Abel Green, 947 00:55:24,655 --> 00:55:26,365 or you wanna come up with me to New York, 948 00:55:26,532 --> 00:55:29,035 make some money and do some acting that means something?" 949 00:55:30,077 --> 00:55:31,370 I looked up, 950 00:55:31,537 --> 00:55:33,706 and standing there by the creatine, 951 00:55:34,707 --> 00:55:36,125 was the baddest, boldest, 952 00:55:36,292 --> 00:55:39,253 best writer, actor, director, I ever knew, 953 00:55:39,420 --> 00:55:41,130 my friend William Benson. 954 00:55:41,922 --> 00:55:43,424 I hadn't heard from him in years 955 00:55:43,591 --> 00:55:45,092 and he just shows up when I need him most, 956 00:55:45,259 --> 00:55:47,428 quoting Gwendolyn Brooks, the Chicago Picasso, 957 00:55:47,595 --> 00:55:49,847 offering me a role that changed my career. 958 00:55:52,391 --> 00:55:53,350 Will, 959 00:55:54,518 --> 00:55:55,936 a beautiful human being. 960 00:55:57,229 --> 00:55:59,106 I met him in college. 961 00:55:59,273 --> 00:56:00,691 There were three African Americans 962 00:56:00,858 --> 00:56:02,276 in the theater department, 963 00:56:02,443 --> 00:56:05,362 William Benson, Mary Bingham, and yours truly. 964 00:56:06,238 --> 00:56:07,782 Will was a couple years ahead, 965 00:56:07,948 --> 00:56:11,535 and the first thing he asked me when I met him was, 966 00:56:12,703 --> 00:56:14,455 "What do you want your legacy to be?" 967 00:56:14,622 --> 00:56:17,458 And I was like, "I'm 18, man." 968 00:56:18,626 --> 00:56:21,212 He responded, "Exactly." 969 00:56:22,671 --> 00:56:26,050 This dude, not only was he deep, but he was like Shaft, too. 970 00:56:26,217 --> 00:56:28,803 You know, Jim Kelly minus the fro. 971 00:56:28,969 --> 00:56:30,971 I had a couple of football players after me once. 972 00:56:31,138 --> 00:56:32,348 They had me cornered in this bar, 973 00:56:32,515 --> 00:56:33,766 I thought was done for sure. 974 00:56:33,933 --> 00:56:35,392 And then I hear (yelling). 975 00:56:41,482 --> 00:56:43,275 They took one look at Will and took off. 976 00:56:43,442 --> 00:56:46,487 I believe one of those big white boys shitted himself. 977 00:56:47,863 --> 00:56:50,366 Will, he was that type of friend. He always had your back. 978 00:56:50,533 --> 00:56:53,119 You know, a hell of an actor, too. 979 00:56:54,995 --> 00:56:58,415 Everyone said he was gonna be the next James Earl Jones. 980 00:56:59,250 --> 00:57:00,918 Instead, after he graduated, 981 00:57:01,043 --> 00:57:03,129 he got offered the same roles I did. 982 00:57:04,380 --> 00:57:05,714 And that's when he started 983 00:57:05,840 --> 00:57:07,508 the African Roots Theatrical Concern. 984 00:57:08,676 --> 00:57:10,511 Will cast me in this amazing play called, 985 00:57:10,678 --> 00:57:11,971 "The Whispering Dream." 986 00:57:12,096 --> 00:57:13,722 It's this love story about this soldier 987 00:57:13,889 --> 00:57:15,516 returning home from Vietnam, 988 00:57:15,641 --> 00:57:19,562 and I played the lead, Ulysses James. 989 00:57:25,192 --> 00:57:26,152 Boop. 990 00:57:27,945 --> 00:57:30,114 "Abel Green is brilliant. 991 00:57:34,702 --> 00:57:36,412 He takes us on an emotional rollercoaster 992 00:57:36,579 --> 00:57:38,497 without the sentimentality and overreach 993 00:57:38,664 --> 00:57:40,249 a lesser actor would employ. 994 00:57:40,416 --> 00:57:41,959 It is indeed his understatement 995 00:57:42,126 --> 00:57:44,920 that makes the horrors of Ulysses James even more riveting 996 00:57:45,045 --> 00:57:48,299 and gives this production five stars." 997 00:57:48,424 --> 00:57:51,844 JA Sutter, "Main Stage Magazine." 998 00:57:53,137 --> 00:57:53,971 It's pretty awesome, right? 999 00:57:54,138 --> 00:57:55,181 Yeah. 1000 00:57:56,974 --> 00:57:59,852 Wanna know how I repaid Will for this opportunity? 1001 00:58:01,604 --> 00:58:03,355 When he needed me, 1002 00:58:03,480 --> 00:58:06,692 I turned my back on him and ran as fast as I fuckin' could. 1003 00:58:10,279 --> 00:58:11,238 It was late. 1004 00:58:12,281 --> 00:58:13,782 I got drunk in a bar not too far 1005 00:58:13,949 --> 00:58:16,160 from Will's place on Jefferson Ave. 1006 00:58:17,578 --> 00:58:21,081 Had a key to his place, he was supposed to be outta town. 1007 00:58:21,248 --> 00:58:22,917 I was too drunk to drive home, 1008 00:58:23,083 --> 00:58:26,086 so I headed there and when I was on the stairs walking up, 1009 00:58:26,253 --> 00:58:27,421 this guy brushes past me, 1010 00:58:27,588 --> 00:58:29,506 almost knocks me down he's so upset. 1011 00:58:29,673 --> 00:58:32,343 And the front door to Will's place is open. 1012 00:58:32,509 --> 00:58:34,011 Will is standing in the middle of the room, 1013 00:58:34,178 --> 00:58:35,971 shirt ripped, furniture overturned. 1014 00:58:36,096 --> 00:58:39,225 I was like, "Will, what the fuck? Are you okay?" 1015 00:58:40,059 --> 00:58:41,352 And Will goes, 1016 00:58:43,979 --> 00:58:48,025 "My ex-boyfriend just found out he's HIV positive." 1017 00:58:56,367 --> 00:58:58,160 And he sat down on the couch 1018 00:58:59,411 --> 00:59:01,872 and didn't say a word like he was in shock. 1019 00:59:03,082 --> 00:59:04,667 Eventually he asked me if I would go with him 1020 00:59:04,833 --> 00:59:07,920 to get the test and I promised him I would. 1021 00:59:11,465 --> 00:59:12,424 I lied. 1022 00:59:14,969 --> 00:59:16,595 I didn't even know he was gay. 1023 00:59:17,388 --> 00:59:19,723 He dated Mary Bingham. 1024 00:59:21,016 --> 00:59:23,477 How the hell you go from that to loving on some dude? 1025 00:59:24,436 --> 00:59:25,771 And the betrayal of it all is that 1026 00:59:25,938 --> 00:59:27,398 he knew everything about my life. 1027 00:59:27,564 --> 00:59:29,191 I mean, he knew things about me. 1028 00:59:29,358 --> 00:59:32,236 What kind of person can compartmentalize like that? 1029 00:59:32,987 --> 00:59:34,822 God, I was mad as hell, 1030 00:59:34,989 --> 00:59:36,573 and he might have AIDS, 1031 00:59:36,740 --> 00:59:39,326 this shit that's going around that ain't no cure for. 1032 00:59:39,451 --> 00:59:41,870 Know how many times I had drank something after him? 1033 00:59:41,996 --> 00:59:44,415 Used his shower, hugged him, shaking his hand. 1034 00:59:44,581 --> 00:59:46,375 I was like, this motherfucka. 1035 00:59:47,668 --> 00:59:49,378 I'm telling you I had no love for Will right then. 1036 00:59:49,545 --> 00:59:52,006 The company season was over so I got ghost like Swayze. 1037 00:59:55,175 --> 00:59:56,552 Back in LA almost a year later, 1038 00:59:56,719 --> 01:00:00,764 Mary Bingham flew out to see me and she was pissed. 1039 01:00:02,057 --> 01:00:04,351 She asked me why I hadn't been to see Will and 1040 01:00:05,394 --> 01:00:07,062 I told her Will's a liar. 1041 01:00:07,229 --> 01:00:09,064 I got nothing to say to him, and you shouldn't either. 1042 01:00:09,189 --> 01:00:10,733 He betrayed you most of all. 1043 01:00:10,899 --> 01:00:12,985 "Always knew Will was gay. 1044 01:00:14,111 --> 01:00:15,946 We had an arrangement. 1045 01:00:16,113 --> 01:00:18,032 And you of all people know how hard it is 1046 01:00:18,198 --> 01:00:20,701 for a Black man to get a leading role. 1047 01:00:20,868 --> 01:00:23,537 A gay Black man? Times that to infinity." 1048 01:00:25,289 --> 01:00:26,915 So you was part of this lie? 1049 01:00:28,917 --> 01:00:29,918 You know what? 1050 01:00:30,085 --> 01:00:31,503 You and Will can both go to hell. 1051 01:00:31,670 --> 01:00:33,255 "I'm so sick of these faggot producers 1052 01:00:33,380 --> 01:00:34,798 always running everything. 1053 01:00:34,965 --> 01:00:36,550 What I gotta do, suck a dick to get a role? 1054 01:00:36,717 --> 01:00:38,594 You remember saying that? 1055 01:00:38,761 --> 01:00:40,220 Probably not. 1056 01:00:40,387 --> 01:00:42,556 And that's not the worst thing you've said over the years. 1057 01:00:42,723 --> 01:00:44,141 The fact that Will loves you so much 1058 01:00:44,308 --> 01:00:46,310 is something I will never understand." 1059 01:00:46,477 --> 01:00:48,395 Will lied to me! 1060 01:00:54,485 --> 01:00:56,528 "Like you lying to yourself?" 1061 01:01:02,576 --> 01:01:04,536 I didn't say anything after that. 1062 01:01:06,205 --> 01:01:08,707 Mary went on to tell me that Will had full blown AIDS 1063 01:01:08,874 --> 01:01:10,959 and she didn't know how long he had. 1064 01:01:13,879 --> 01:01:16,215 I spent that night after Mary left 1065 01:01:16,382 --> 01:01:19,426 trying to prove to myself that she was wrong about me. 1066 01:01:20,886 --> 01:01:22,179 But the fact is, 1067 01:01:23,347 --> 01:01:24,598 I can't even hug another man 1068 01:01:24,765 --> 01:01:26,892 without having a forearm in between us. 1069 01:01:29,895 --> 01:01:30,896 I loved Will, 1070 01:01:32,356 --> 01:01:33,774 but I've never said that to any man, 1071 01:01:33,941 --> 01:01:35,776 and I've never had any man say it to me. 1072 01:01:37,277 --> 01:01:38,695 In my old neighborhood, 1073 01:01:38,862 --> 01:01:40,155 you'd rather have somebody talk about your mama 1074 01:01:40,280 --> 01:01:41,740 than call you a faggot or a punk. 1075 01:01:43,033 --> 01:01:44,660 It was a code, and I thought a lot about those 1076 01:01:44,827 --> 01:01:46,286 that followed it and what they had done for me, 1077 01:01:46,453 --> 01:01:48,288 which was absolutely nothing. 1078 01:01:48,455 --> 01:01:49,832 Will on the other hand. 1079 01:01:52,668 --> 01:01:54,294 That night I couldn't sleep. 1080 01:01:55,129 --> 01:01:56,505 I stayed up channel surfing 1081 01:01:56,672 --> 01:01:58,382 and I came across this religious program 1082 01:01:58,549 --> 01:02:01,969 called Reverend Frank Red's God's Truth Christian Hour. 1083 01:02:02,136 --> 01:02:03,846 "Christian family, 1084 01:02:03,971 --> 01:02:06,890 the Bible teaches us that when a people get away from God, 1085 01:02:07,057 --> 01:02:09,476 when they engage in filthy, nasty ways, 1086 01:02:09,643 --> 01:02:11,270 God will punish them, 1087 01:02:11,395 --> 01:02:14,064 and that is why we have AIDS. 1088 01:02:15,065 --> 01:02:16,483 Now that is not hate. 1089 01:02:16,650 --> 01:02:19,403 I hate no one, and I pray for everyone, 1090 01:02:19,570 --> 01:02:23,115 but my Bible teaches me that homosexuality is a sin 1091 01:02:23,282 --> 01:02:25,742 and the wages of sin is death. 1092 01:02:25,909 --> 01:02:26,910 Amen." 1093 01:02:35,544 --> 01:02:37,212 Fuck you, Rev. 1094 01:02:39,089 --> 01:02:41,758 God doesn't have anything to do with this shit. 1095 01:02:42,634 --> 01:02:43,844 Fucked up people. 1096 01:02:44,970 --> 01:02:47,806 People who bring suffering into the world, 1097 01:02:47,931 --> 01:02:49,766 seem to live forever. 1098 01:02:50,934 --> 01:02:53,479 And the dreamers, the lovers, the people 1099 01:02:53,645 --> 01:02:55,939 who actually make this hell worth living in 1100 01:02:56,106 --> 01:02:57,441 seem to die too soon 1101 01:02:57,608 --> 01:02:59,693 and in fucked up ways that nobody deserves. 1102 01:02:59,860 --> 01:03:02,112 That can't be God's plan. 1103 01:03:11,914 --> 01:03:12,915 Next day, 1104 01:03:14,166 --> 01:03:15,792 I got my ass on a plane 1105 01:03:15,959 --> 01:03:17,669 and I flew to New York to beg my friend 1106 01:03:17,836 --> 01:03:20,589 for what I knew no way in hell I deserved, 1107 01:03:20,756 --> 01:03:22,174 his forgiveness. 1108 01:03:24,510 --> 01:03:27,763 I saw him, he had just gotten out the hospital. 1109 01:03:28,972 --> 01:03:30,641 His body was covered in these purple splotches, 1110 01:03:30,807 --> 01:03:32,518 leach-looking like things. 1111 01:03:33,769 --> 01:03:36,230 It's a type of skin cancer AIDS patients get. 1112 01:03:38,524 --> 01:03:42,236 The fact that he was gonna die finally hit home. 1113 01:03:45,113 --> 01:03:48,992 He opened his eyes and held out his hand. 1114 01:03:51,912 --> 01:03:56,291 "Does man love art?" 1115 01:03:57,793 --> 01:03:59,795 He tried to laugh, but the pain, 1116 01:04:01,630 --> 01:04:03,340 I took his hand in mine and- 1117 01:04:06,718 --> 01:04:08,512 "Art hurts." 1118 01:04:13,684 --> 01:04:15,227 "I knew you would come." 1119 01:04:22,943 --> 01:04:24,486 I moved into Will's apartment 1120 01:04:24,653 --> 01:04:27,364 along with some other members of the African Roots and 1121 01:04:28,407 --> 01:04:29,700 we took care of him. 1122 01:04:35,289 --> 01:04:37,624 Mary said she was gonna come by to feed Will at noon, 1123 01:04:37,791 --> 01:04:40,127 so I'm sure she's found the body by now 1124 01:04:40,294 --> 01:04:42,504 and called the proper authorities. 1125 01:04:45,299 --> 01:04:46,675 At first I didn't think I could do it, 1126 01:04:46,800 --> 01:04:48,760 but how could I not? 1127 01:04:50,512 --> 01:04:53,765 What would you do if your friend said, help me? 1128 01:04:56,435 --> 01:04:58,770 I'm tired of hurting, I'd do it for you. 1129 01:05:04,234 --> 01:05:06,445 I tell you what I did. 1130 01:05:06,612 --> 01:05:09,156 I kissed Will on his forehead and 1131 01:05:10,574 --> 01:05:13,201 I gave him the overdose of morphine that he asked me for. 1132 01:05:15,704 --> 01:05:18,999 And if that condemns my soul to hell, then so be it but, 1133 01:05:20,459 --> 01:05:21,752 I don't think it does. 1134 01:05:26,173 --> 01:05:27,466 This is me. 1135 01:07:02,310 --> 01:07:05,397 My mother and father didn't always try to kill each other, 1136 01:07:06,565 --> 01:07:10,444 just on the 1st and 15th of the month. 1137 01:07:12,446 --> 01:07:13,697 I would go into my bedroom 1138 01:07:13,864 --> 01:07:16,700 and turn the TV up as loud as I could. 1139 01:07:16,867 --> 01:07:20,287 "Star Trek, the Next Generation" was my show. 1140 01:07:20,454 --> 01:07:23,290 Now I dreamed of traveling to brave new worlds. 1141 01:07:23,457 --> 01:07:27,461 And in these worlds, higher pursuits took precedence 1142 01:07:27,627 --> 01:07:30,672 because food, clothing, and shelter were the given. 1143 01:07:31,757 --> 01:07:33,925 and not the daily struggle to acquire, 1144 01:07:34,050 --> 01:07:35,469 and not the root cause 1145 01:07:35,594 --> 01:07:38,597 of cut lips, black eyes, broken coffee tables. 1146 01:07:41,183 --> 01:07:43,059 Now I stopped believing in the existence 1147 01:07:43,226 --> 01:07:44,978 of those worlds when my father lost his job 1148 01:07:45,103 --> 01:07:46,563 and committed suicide. 1149 01:07:46,730 --> 01:07:48,440 Now, I never watched "Star Trek" again, 1150 01:07:48,565 --> 01:07:52,152 'cause even if those worlds did exist, 1151 01:07:53,361 --> 01:07:55,697 what the fuck did they mean to Abel Green? 1152 01:08:20,722 --> 01:08:24,351 Did you know on Saturn people live to be 205? 1153 01:08:25,435 --> 01:08:27,646 They have orange snow too. 1154 01:08:27,813 --> 01:08:30,482 Imagine snowboarding on sherbet. 1155 01:08:31,983 --> 01:08:33,860 Now I've seen it in my dreams. 1156 01:08:34,861 --> 01:08:37,447 Wilma Benson told me it was real. 1157 01:08:37,572 --> 01:08:39,032 That's what these cans are about, 1158 01:08:39,199 --> 01:08:41,326 leaving here, getting to Saturn. 1159 01:08:57,300 --> 01:09:00,136 Wilma says, if you can imagine an elsewhere, 1160 01:09:00,303 --> 01:09:01,680 you can build it. 1161 01:09:01,847 --> 01:09:03,098 Now the problem is most of us 1162 01:09:03,265 --> 01:09:04,808 don't want to build an elsewhere, 1163 01:09:04,975 --> 01:09:07,269 we'd rather just figure out a way to be on top here. 1164 01:09:08,645 --> 01:09:10,397 It took the murders of four people for me 1165 01:09:10,564 --> 01:09:13,024 to get to Wilma's understanding of things. 1166 01:09:14,526 --> 01:09:16,903 You probably read about it or saw the special on "Dateline." 1167 01:09:18,488 --> 01:09:20,699 Then again, you may not have paid any attention. 1168 01:09:20,866 --> 01:09:22,284 You know shit happens so much these days 1169 01:09:22,450 --> 01:09:24,452 you can turn it into a drinking game. 1170 01:09:24,619 --> 01:09:27,831 Every time somebody goes off into a school or workplace 1171 01:09:27,998 --> 01:09:31,042 and shoots up a bunch of people, take a shot of vodka. 1172 01:09:35,088 --> 01:09:37,507 But, when you're in the center of it, 1173 01:09:37,674 --> 01:09:39,217 vodka shots won't help. 1174 01:09:40,385 --> 01:09:41,761 You might find yourself beaten half to death 1175 01:09:41,928 --> 01:09:43,680 in a ditch outside of Jefferson Park, 1176 01:09:43,847 --> 01:09:45,724 which is where I was when Wilma saved me, 1177 01:09:45,849 --> 01:09:48,018 so don't do that. 1178 01:10:05,869 --> 01:10:08,663 Before I began my studies with Wilma Benson, 1179 01:10:08,830 --> 01:10:10,874 I didn't have a picture of my parents 1180 01:10:11,041 --> 01:10:12,876 or a girlfriend on my dresser. 1181 01:10:13,043 --> 01:10:15,003 I had an 8x10 of Warren Buffett 1182 01:10:15,170 --> 01:10:17,964 that I talked to each morning while preparing for work. 1183 01:10:18,131 --> 01:10:19,716 "Good morning, Mr. Buffett. 1184 01:10:19,883 --> 01:10:22,802 Today I'm gonna do something to make you proud." 1185 01:10:23,929 --> 01:10:25,513 I had pocket sized pics in my wallet 1186 01:10:25,680 --> 01:10:27,140 of Bill Gates and Bloomberg. 1187 01:10:27,307 --> 01:10:29,601 I named my fantasy football team Greenspan. 1188 01:10:29,768 --> 01:10:31,895 I voted Republican because that's what rich people did, 1189 01:10:32,062 --> 01:10:33,438 and I intended to be rich. 1190 01:10:33,605 --> 01:10:35,106 I made love to my girlfriend while listening 1191 01:10:35,273 --> 01:10:37,651 to David Bach's "Automatic Millionaire" on CD. 1192 01:10:39,569 --> 01:10:42,280 And when I really wanted to get kinky, I played Suze Orman. 1193 01:10:47,452 --> 01:10:49,621 Y'know money has always been at the 1194 01:10:49,788 --> 01:10:51,581 core of the American dream. 1195 01:10:51,748 --> 01:10:53,124 Before the housing bubble burst, 1196 01:10:53,291 --> 01:10:55,210 I made a shit-ton of money selling that dream 1197 01:10:55,377 --> 01:10:56,753 to folks who look just like you. 1198 01:10:56,920 --> 01:10:58,421 The crooked broker who suckered people 1199 01:10:58,588 --> 01:11:00,340 into loans they couldn't afford. 1200 01:11:01,132 --> 01:11:02,550 I was that guy. 1201 01:11:02,717 --> 01:11:04,803 Started at the bottom, worked my way to the top. 1202 01:11:04,928 --> 01:11:08,056 Went from working for the banks to contracting with them. 1203 01:11:08,223 --> 01:11:09,599 It was the wild, wild west, 1204 01:11:09,766 --> 01:11:11,309 and I was Clint with the Stogie hanging out 1205 01:11:11,434 --> 01:11:13,186 the side of his mouth, trigger finger itching. 1206 01:11:13,979 --> 01:11:16,439 I came to collect the bounties. 1207 01:11:16,606 --> 01:11:18,358 That's what I called subprime loans, 1208 01:11:18,525 --> 01:11:20,110 'cause we got a bonus for each one we made. 1209 01:11:20,276 --> 01:11:22,946 And Black and Latino communities were the best targets. 1210 01:11:23,071 --> 01:11:25,073 And we pushed those fucked up loans there the hardest 1211 01:11:25,240 --> 01:11:27,033 because nobody gives a damn about what you do 1212 01:11:27,200 --> 01:11:29,035 to Black and Latino communities. 1213 01:11:30,370 --> 01:11:32,539 And as far as my conscience, I found that new cars, 1214 01:11:32,664 --> 01:11:35,875 sex with beautiful women, good coke, single malt Scotch, 1215 01:11:36,042 --> 01:11:37,919 and Cuban cigars can clean the conscience 1216 01:11:38,044 --> 01:11:41,214 better than ammonia can eradicate piss from a toilet seat. 1217 01:11:49,097 --> 01:11:52,559 I met Alonzo Price at a church picnic. 1218 01:11:54,060 --> 01:11:56,688 His daughter and son-in-law had died in a car accident 1219 01:11:56,813 --> 01:11:57,981 not too long before, 1220 01:11:58,148 --> 01:11:59,482 and now he and his wife, 1221 01:11:59,649 --> 01:12:01,693 both in their sixties, were raising their boy. 1222 01:12:01,860 --> 01:12:04,362 And so I talked to Price about securing the boy's future, 1223 01:12:04,529 --> 01:12:07,032 a college education, a nest egg the kid could have 1224 01:12:07,157 --> 01:12:08,992 to start life with something to lean on 1225 01:12:09,159 --> 01:12:11,619 when Price and his wife had transitioned. 1226 01:12:14,330 --> 01:12:16,583 Once I had the hook in, I talked Price 1227 01:12:16,708 --> 01:12:19,169 into taking a second mortgage out on his home. 1228 01:12:19,294 --> 01:12:20,128 And you know what he said to me 1229 01:12:20,295 --> 01:12:21,755 after we made that deal? 1230 01:12:21,921 --> 01:12:25,842 Mr. Green, I know your parents are mighty proud of you. 1231 01:12:31,389 --> 01:12:34,350 Four years later, he lost the house, 1232 01:12:35,643 --> 01:12:38,313 and the stress of which caused his wife 1233 01:12:38,480 --> 01:12:40,565 to have a heart attack, so. 1234 01:12:46,488 --> 01:12:50,366 "There are other worlds they have not told you of. 1235 01:12:51,618 --> 01:12:52,494 Okay? 1236 01:12:53,912 --> 01:12:56,831 There are other worlds they have not told you of. 1237 01:12:56,998 --> 01:12:59,751 There are other worlds they have not told you of. 1238 01:13:01,002 --> 01:13:04,547 Wrap your mind in the peace that is Saturn. 1239 01:13:04,714 --> 01:13:08,676 Wrap your mind in the peace that is Saturn. 1240 01:13:08,843 --> 01:13:12,430 Wrap your mind in the peace that is Saturn. 1241 01:13:13,264 --> 01:13:15,016 Peace, Saturn. 1242 01:13:16,601 --> 01:13:18,019 Peace, Saturn. 1243 01:13:19,562 --> 01:13:20,688 "Abel Green, you lousy son of a bitch, 1244 01:13:20,855 --> 01:13:22,941 get your ass out here now!" 1245 01:13:28,863 --> 01:13:31,699 I heard Price from the men's room. 1246 01:13:31,825 --> 01:13:33,159 I was in the stall doing a line of coke 1247 01:13:33,326 --> 01:13:35,036 and it wasn't even 12. 1248 01:13:39,249 --> 01:13:41,751 My secretary Mary Bingham was dead. 1249 01:13:43,294 --> 01:13:45,088 There were three more shots. 1250 01:13:49,884 --> 01:13:51,511 Frank Red in accounts, 1251 01:13:52,595 --> 01:13:55,515 Tom Pedelton, our IT specialist, 1252 01:13:55,682 --> 01:13:58,852 and Esther in Human Resources, all dead, 1253 01:13:58,977 --> 01:14:00,979 as I sat, hiding in the restroom. 1254 01:14:03,606 --> 01:14:05,066 Felt like two lifetimes passed 1255 01:14:05,233 --> 01:14:07,026 before Alonzo finally walked in. 1256 01:14:08,069 --> 01:14:10,196 "I know your ass somewhere, Green." 1257 01:14:10,363 --> 01:14:12,031 He began going through the stalls. 1258 01:14:12,198 --> 01:14:13,825 But when the sirens howling from the street grew louder, 1259 01:14:13,992 --> 01:14:15,618 he knew he didn't have much time. 1260 01:14:15,785 --> 01:14:18,454 He ran past the men's room and there was one more shot. 1261 01:14:24,836 --> 01:14:28,089 The police found his body outside of my office door. 1262 01:14:33,928 --> 01:14:36,014 When I met Wilma Benson, 1263 01:14:36,848 --> 01:14:38,558 I was trying to end my life. 1264 01:14:40,143 --> 01:14:42,353 I rented a room at a cheap motel, 1265 01:14:42,478 --> 01:14:45,315 drank an entire bottle of Johnny Walker Red. 1266 01:14:46,566 --> 01:14:48,526 My plan was to hang myself in the closet. 1267 01:14:49,861 --> 01:14:53,239 I stood on the chair, put the noose around my neck, 1268 01:14:53,406 --> 01:14:56,242 when I heard this banging and crunching noise 1269 01:14:56,409 --> 01:14:58,620 coming from the alley outside. 1270 01:14:58,786 --> 01:14:59,913 And I got down to look, 1271 01:15:00,079 --> 01:15:01,247 and there was this homeless woman 1272 01:15:01,414 --> 01:15:02,665 with a bunch of coats on 1273 01:15:02,832 --> 01:15:04,459 rummaging through the dumpster for cans, 1274 01:15:04,626 --> 01:15:07,754 stamping them flat, putting them in a large trash bag. 1275 01:15:07,921 --> 01:15:09,255 And I yelled down, 1276 01:15:09,422 --> 01:15:10,798 would you stop making all that damn noise? 1277 01:15:10,965 --> 01:15:12,592 And she looked up and hollered back. 1278 01:15:12,759 --> 01:15:14,969 "I freed a thousand slaves 1279 01:15:15,136 --> 01:15:16,512 and I could have freed a thousand more 1280 01:15:16,679 --> 01:15:19,849 if they only knew they were slaves." 1281 01:15:22,560 --> 01:15:24,145 And she went back to smashing cans 1282 01:15:24,312 --> 01:15:26,022 and putting them in the bag. 1283 01:15:26,147 --> 01:15:27,774 Now I raced down after her. 1284 01:15:27,941 --> 01:15:29,400 I don't know what I was thinking 1285 01:15:29,567 --> 01:15:31,110 or what I was planning to do, but I followed her. 1286 01:15:31,277 --> 01:15:32,946 And when we reached the outskirts of Jefferson Park 1287 01:15:33,112 --> 01:15:34,697 where a lot of homeless lived, 1288 01:15:34,864 --> 01:15:37,033 I realized I was being followed too. 1289 01:15:38,243 --> 01:15:39,452 And right before Wilma made it over 1290 01:15:39,619 --> 01:15:41,162 the last dip in the field, 1291 01:15:42,247 --> 01:15:43,957 my stalkers announced themselves. 1292 01:15:44,123 --> 01:15:45,458 One administered the beating, 1293 01:15:45,625 --> 01:15:48,002 while the other went through my pockets. 1294 01:15:48,169 --> 01:15:50,255 I started to lose consciousness but, 1295 01:15:51,506 --> 01:15:52,757 I felt so relieved. 1296 01:15:54,092 --> 01:15:55,635 If they killed me I no longer had to see the faces 1297 01:15:55,802 --> 01:15:58,972 of my dead friends or Alonzo or his grandson, 1298 01:15:59,138 --> 01:16:01,266 who is now in the foster care system. 1299 01:16:03,559 --> 01:16:04,686 But they didn't kill me. 1300 01:16:05,895 --> 01:16:08,898 Someone lifted my first attacker off the ground, 1301 01:16:09,023 --> 01:16:10,775 and threw him face first into a pine tree 1302 01:16:10,942 --> 01:16:12,235 like a paper airplane. 1303 01:16:12,360 --> 01:16:14,070 The other attacker swung, my hero ducked, 1304 01:16:14,237 --> 01:16:15,947 lifted that guy, twirled him a couple of times 1305 01:16:16,114 --> 01:16:17,782 and tossed him too. 1306 01:16:17,907 --> 01:16:20,743 I squinted through my swollen eyes to get a better look and, 1307 01:16:22,036 --> 01:16:23,204 it was Wilma, 1308 01:16:24,372 --> 01:16:27,041 this little bitty Black homeless woman. 1309 01:16:28,376 --> 01:16:30,003 And she picked me up, threw me over her shoulder, 1310 01:16:30,169 --> 01:16:31,796 and I blacked out. 1311 01:16:33,673 --> 01:16:36,801 When I woke, I was in a lean-to tent. 1312 01:16:36,926 --> 01:16:39,220 There were a couple of cots and books scattered about. 1313 01:16:39,345 --> 01:16:40,763 And the one lying on her pillow 1314 01:16:40,930 --> 01:16:43,308 was a biography of Harriet Tubman. 1315 01:16:44,100 --> 01:16:45,601 I got up and went outside 1316 01:16:45,768 --> 01:16:49,022 and there was this structure like 14 feet high, 1317 01:16:49,188 --> 01:16:52,066 made outta tin cans hammered into wooden beams. 1318 01:16:52,191 --> 01:16:55,278 And there was Wilma hammering on the platform. 1319 01:16:55,445 --> 01:16:58,656 And she told me her Earth name was Wilma Benson, 1320 01:17:00,033 --> 01:17:01,284 that she was from Saturn 1321 01:17:01,409 --> 01:17:02,452 and the structure she was building 1322 01:17:02,618 --> 01:17:04,746 was a spaceship to return home. 1323 01:17:06,247 --> 01:17:09,751 So yeah, like you, I thought she was batshit crazy. 1324 01:17:09,917 --> 01:17:12,378 But when she called me over and handed me a hammer, I went 1325 01:17:12,545 --> 01:17:15,214 and while I hammered away at those cans, 1326 01:17:15,381 --> 01:17:17,050 I didn't think about Price, 1327 01:17:17,216 --> 01:17:18,551 or the death of my friends 1328 01:17:18,718 --> 01:17:20,261 or drugs or alcohol. 1329 01:17:20,428 --> 01:17:21,971 The only thing that mattered 1330 01:17:24,057 --> 01:17:26,392 was hammering those cans into that wooden frame. 1331 01:17:26,559 --> 01:17:28,061 And from the time I nailed the first can 1332 01:17:28,227 --> 01:17:29,479 to the moment we stopped, 1333 01:17:29,645 --> 01:17:32,440 I existed in a complete state of calm and peace. 1334 01:17:35,318 --> 01:17:37,362 Peace like I never felt before. 1335 01:17:39,030 --> 01:17:40,406 And I didn't understand why, 1336 01:17:40,573 --> 01:17:43,951 but the only thing that mattered was, it was. 1337 01:17:47,789 --> 01:17:49,123 Then it began to rain. 1338 01:17:50,917 --> 01:17:52,251 I spent the night with the woman in the lean-to, 1339 01:17:52,418 --> 01:17:54,670 and she told me about Saturn. 1340 01:17:55,713 --> 01:17:57,673 Delusional, deranged, I don't know, 1341 01:17:57,840 --> 01:17:59,092 but that night I dreamed of Saturn 1342 01:17:59,258 --> 01:18:01,010 like I was dreaming in HD. 1343 01:18:02,470 --> 01:18:05,890 I spent the next three weeks living with Wilma in that tent. 1344 01:18:06,057 --> 01:18:07,642 In the morning we'd collect the cans. 1345 01:18:07,809 --> 01:18:10,520 In the afternoon, we hammered them onto the structure. 1346 01:18:11,687 --> 01:18:14,023 And out of the blue one day, she said to me, 1347 01:18:19,529 --> 01:18:22,198 "You have to forgive yourself. 1348 01:18:24,283 --> 01:18:25,493 If you don't, 1349 01:18:26,702 --> 01:18:31,040 Saturn will always be beyond your reach." 1350 01:18:39,715 --> 01:18:41,008 I began to cry. 1351 01:18:42,301 --> 01:18:44,470 Wilma picked me up, 1352 01:18:44,595 --> 01:18:46,931 rocked me in her arms until I fell asleep. 1353 01:18:49,684 --> 01:18:50,643 When I woke, 1354 01:18:52,061 --> 01:18:53,271 Wilma was gone. 1355 01:18:54,730 --> 01:18:57,024 I got up and went outside and 1356 01:18:58,276 --> 01:19:00,528 the structure we had built had disappeared. 1357 01:19:01,487 --> 01:19:02,864 I mean, this thing was huge. 1358 01:19:02,989 --> 01:19:04,073 There's no way it could have been moved 1359 01:19:04,240 --> 01:19:05,616 without making hella noise. 1360 01:19:06,492 --> 01:19:07,535 I never said what the fuck 1361 01:19:07,702 --> 01:19:09,537 so many times in a single day. 1362 01:19:10,788 --> 01:19:11,873 I went and asked the other homeless people 1363 01:19:12,039 --> 01:19:13,416 who slept there, what they saw. 1364 01:19:13,583 --> 01:19:15,501 And they all looked at me like I was crazy, 1365 01:19:15,668 --> 01:19:17,211 even the crazy ones, 1366 01:19:18,546 --> 01:19:19,964 like there was never a Wilma, 1367 01:19:20,131 --> 01:19:21,591 like there was never a big ass wooden edifice 1368 01:19:21,757 --> 01:19:23,634 with tin cans hammered onto it. 1369 01:19:25,928 --> 01:19:27,346 I went back to the tent, 1370 01:19:27,513 --> 01:19:29,599 and I saw this written on it in big gold letters. 1371 01:19:29,765 --> 01:19:30,725 Let me show you. 1372 01:19:39,567 --> 01:19:42,695 Every great dream begins with a dreamer. 1373 01:19:43,988 --> 01:19:46,574 Always remember, you have the strength, 1374 01:19:47,450 --> 01:19:49,952 the patience and the passion. 1375 01:19:50,119 --> 01:19:51,662 Reach for the stars 1376 01:19:53,581 --> 01:19:55,374 to change the world. 1377 01:20:02,465 --> 01:20:04,884 I left Jefferson Park that night. 1378 01:20:05,051 --> 01:20:07,803 The next day I liquidated all my assets. 1379 01:20:07,970 --> 01:20:09,138 I closed all my accounts. 1380 01:20:09,305 --> 01:20:10,806 The wealth I had left over, 1381 01:20:10,973 --> 01:20:13,059 I anonymously sent to the families I destroyed, 1382 01:20:14,018 --> 01:20:15,853 the ones I could locate anyway. 1383 01:20:17,563 --> 01:20:19,690 And then I went back to my McMansion, 1384 01:20:20,483 --> 01:20:21,776 beautiful home bought with money 1385 01:20:21,943 --> 01:20:23,861 stolen from people's dreams. 1386 01:20:25,321 --> 01:20:26,697 I went through every room, 1387 01:20:26,864 --> 01:20:29,575 doused the curtains with gasoline, struck a match, 1388 01:20:29,742 --> 01:20:32,870 walked away from my burning house and didn't look back. 1389 01:20:36,791 --> 01:20:38,501 That was seven years ago. 1390 01:20:41,254 --> 01:20:43,673 Today, I live on the streets. 1391 01:20:44,715 --> 01:20:45,716 I, um, 1392 01:20:46,634 --> 01:20:49,428 I work odd jobs. 1393 01:20:51,722 --> 01:20:53,849 I have everything I need to survive. 1394 01:20:57,144 --> 01:20:58,271 I'm free now. 1395 01:21:01,023 --> 01:21:02,692 And somewhere in this purging, 1396 01:21:03,818 --> 01:21:06,737 I found the courage to forgive myself, 1397 01:21:08,114 --> 01:21:11,784 not forget what I've caused, but to move beyond it. 1398 01:21:14,245 --> 01:21:16,622 And some nights, I sit out underneath the stars 1399 01:21:16,789 --> 01:21:19,083 and I wonder what Wilma's doing. 1400 01:21:21,252 --> 01:21:22,628 I'm tired of that now. 1401 01:21:23,963 --> 01:21:26,007 I've decided to go visit her, 1402 01:21:26,132 --> 01:21:27,466 to visit Saturn. 1403 01:21:27,633 --> 01:21:29,552 Not to stay, 1404 01:21:29,677 --> 01:21:30,928 just to see for myself 1405 01:21:31,095 --> 01:21:33,139 and thank Wilma for all she's taught me. 1406 01:21:34,140 --> 01:21:35,725 That's what these cans are about. 1407 01:21:35,891 --> 01:21:38,311 I'm gonna build a spaceship just like Wilma Benson, 1408 01:21:39,604 --> 01:21:42,398 and then I'm gonna sit down in the middle of it, 1409 01:21:44,400 --> 01:21:47,653 let my drums speak my heart, 1410 01:21:49,071 --> 01:21:51,282 and wait for the universe to answer. 102244

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