All language subtitles for Go.On.S01E12.Win.At.All.Costas.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DD+2.0.H.264-playWEB_track3_[eng]

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,504 --> 00:00:07,256 Hey, ryan, This is bob costas. 2 00:00:07,257 --> 00:00:08,466 Oh, my god. Oh, my god. 3 00:00:08,467 --> 00:00:09,675 Oh, god. Oh, my god. 4 00:00:09,676 --> 00:00:11,552 Hey, ryan, this is bob costas. 5 00:00:11,553 --> 00:00:13,387 Hey, ryan, This is bob costas. 6 00:00:13,388 --> 00:00:15,848 Hey, ryan, why don't you play The whole message? 7 00:00:15,849 --> 00:00:18,184 Because bob costas Is my hero. 8 00:00:18,185 --> 00:00:20,144 He's the greatest broadcaster Who ever lived. 9 00:00:20,145 --> 00:00:22,355 He is the closest We humans have 10 00:00:22,356 --> 00:00:23,773 To a deity Here on earth. 11 00:00:23,774 --> 00:00:25,608 I'd like to believe There's a god. 12 00:00:25,609 --> 00:00:27,526 I know there's a costas. 13 00:00:27,527 --> 00:00:29,570 And he called you. That's good, right? 14 00:00:29,571 --> 00:00:30,655 Unless it's bad. 15 00:00:30,656 --> 00:00:32,365 He's a notoriously savage Critic. 16 00:00:32,366 --> 00:00:34,200 Maybe he called to say He doesn't like the show. 17 00:00:34,201 --> 00:00:36,786 He's the entire reason They cancelled my name is earl. 18 00:00:36,787 --> 00:00:40,498 You're great. You don't need his approval. 19 00:00:40,499 --> 00:00:42,333 You know what, You're right. 20 00:00:42,334 --> 00:00:43,459 To hell with that guy. 21 00:00:43,460 --> 00:00:45,253 He doesn't decide my worth. 22 00:00:45,254 --> 00:00:47,296 I decide my worth. 23 00:00:47,297 --> 00:00:49,548 Hey, ryan, This is bob costas. 24 00:00:49,549 --> 00:00:50,549 I caught the show Yesterday. 25 00:00:50,550 --> 00:00:52,510 You're really doing great stuff. 26 00:00:52,511 --> 00:00:53,552 My hat's off to you. 27 00:00:53,553 --> 00:00:55,263 Count me as a fan. 28 00:00:55,264 --> 00:00:57,515 Check that. Big fan. 29 00:00:57,516 --> 00:00:59,517 Excuse me. 30 00:00:59,518 --> 00:01:01,519 Call me back When you get a second, okay? 31 00:01:01,520 --> 00:01:03,521 Yes! Yes! He likes me. 32 00:01:03,522 --> 00:01:05,231 I'm good. We did it. 33 00:01:05,232 --> 00:01:07,650 I told you we could do it, And we did it. 34 00:01:07,651 --> 00:01:08,693 What's all the shouting? 35 00:01:08,694 --> 00:01:10,611 Bob costas called ryan. 36 00:01:10,612 --> 00:01:11,445 Does he hate the show? 37 00:01:11,446 --> 00:01:12,905 Screw that guy. Who's he? 38 00:01:12,906 --> 00:01:14,115 He's a fan. 39 00:01:14,116 --> 00:01:15,866 He's a fan. He likes us! 40 00:01:15,867 --> 00:01:18,244 He likes us! He likes us! 41 00:01:18,245 --> 00:01:20,579 Hey, ryan, This is bob costas. 42 00:01:20,580 --> 00:01:22,331 I caught the show yesterday. 43 00:01:22,332 --> 00:01:23,416 Both: You're really doing great stuff. 44 00:01:23,417 --> 00:01:24,417 My hat's off to you. 45 00:01:24,418 --> 00:01:25,668 Count me as a fan. 46 00:01:25,669 --> 00:01:28,254 All: check that. Big fan. 47 00:01:28,255 --> 00:01:29,797 Excuse me. 48 00:01:29,798 --> 00:01:31,590 Call me back When you get a second, okay? 49 00:01:31,591 --> 00:01:34,552 Ooh, carrie, I got one more Thing I need you to do for me. 50 00:01:34,553 --> 00:01:35,636 ♪ big, big fan ♪ 51 00:01:35,637 --> 00:01:37,763 ♪ hey, ryan, This is bob costas ♪ 52 00:01:37,764 --> 00:01:41,600 Call me back When you get a second, okay? 53 00:01:41,601 --> 00:01:44,645 - ♪ hey, ryan ♪ - I love technology. 54 00:01:58,952 --> 00:02:01,245 Ryan, bob costas Calling you back. 55 00:02:01,246 --> 00:02:02,621 Guess we're playing Phone tag now. 56 00:02:02,622 --> 00:02:06,625 Ooh, what will we play next, Bob costas? 57 00:02:06,626 --> 00:02:09,462 I have news. My niece Is having her quinceanera. 58 00:02:09,463 --> 00:02:13,716 It's a beautiful celebration For girl's 15th birthday. 59 00:02:13,717 --> 00:02:15,468 Wow, did the group Just share 60 00:02:15,469 --> 00:02:17,553 Two pieces of good news In a row? 61 00:02:17,554 --> 00:02:20,556 Time for anne to throw Some cold water on everything. 62 00:02:22,601 --> 00:02:24,727 And that is just the kind Of joke we're not ready for yet. 63 00:02:24,728 --> 00:02:27,730 Look for invitations. All my best families, 64 00:02:27,731 --> 00:02:29,857 All my best friends. - it's time. 65 00:02:29,858 --> 00:02:31,650 Oh, no. Are we all gonna die? 66 00:02:31,651 --> 00:02:34,653 No, the mars curiosity soil Sample arm is about to engage. 67 00:02:34,654 --> 00:02:37,740 Ryan, mr. K's an accomplished Aerospace engineer 68 00:02:37,741 --> 00:02:38,908 With the jet propulsion labs. 69 00:02:38,909 --> 00:02:41,869 I'm sorry. Mr. K is a rocket scientist? 70 00:02:41,870 --> 00:02:44,288 Yes, he's been designing The curiosity rover 71 00:02:44,289 --> 00:02:45,498 For ten years now. 72 00:02:45,499 --> 00:02:46,957 I just played a small part. 73 00:02:46,958 --> 00:02:48,834 You make it sound Like I'm dr. Adam seltzner, 74 00:02:48,835 --> 00:02:50,753 Who, by the way, Just left me a message. 75 00:02:50,754 --> 00:02:52,671 Didn't feel the need To make a big deal about it. 76 00:02:52,672 --> 00:02:55,424 An 8-centimeter robot arm 77 00:02:55,425 --> 00:02:57,635 Is about to take A soil sample on mars. 78 00:02:57,636 --> 00:02:59,011 If it succeeds, 79 00:02:59,012 --> 00:03:00,763 My life has been worth living. 80 00:03:00,764 --> 00:03:03,557 If it fails, I'll be like yolanda. 81 00:03:03,558 --> 00:03:05,393 Oh, it's okay. We have a thing 82 00:03:05,394 --> 00:03:06,936 Where we're mean to each other, But it's fun. 83 00:03:06,937 --> 00:03:08,646 No, we don't. 84 00:03:08,647 --> 00:03:09,688 Oh, here it goes. 85 00:03:09,689 --> 00:03:11,565 Come on, baby. Do your business. 86 00:03:11,566 --> 00:03:17,321 Dvvvft. Dvvvft. 87 00:03:17,322 --> 00:03:19,323 It dvvvft-ed. 88 00:03:19,324 --> 00:03:22,701 Oh, congratulations. Let's hear it for mr. K. 89 00:03:22,702 --> 00:03:26,789 But not too loud, as we know It sexualized him in the past. 90 00:03:26,790 --> 00:03:28,249 That's great, man. 91 00:03:28,250 --> 00:03:29,333 I can't wait to hear 92 00:03:29,334 --> 00:03:30,751 What you're gonna do next. 93 00:03:30,752 --> 00:03:33,462 - next? - well, you know, that's over, 94 00:03:33,463 --> 00:03:34,547 So what's your next challenge? 95 00:03:34,548 --> 00:03:36,465 You're right. 96 00:03:36,466 --> 00:03:38,384 I have nothing. 97 00:03:38,385 --> 00:03:39,885 No, no, no. I was just-- 98 00:03:39,886 --> 00:03:41,887 My life has no purpose. 99 00:03:41,888 --> 00:03:44,390 I'm just waiting to die. 100 00:03:44,391 --> 00:03:46,309 Like yolanda. 101 00:03:53,483 --> 00:03:54,733 Carrie, I'm getting antsy 102 00:03:54,734 --> 00:03:56,485 Waiting for bob costas To call back. 103 00:03:56,486 --> 00:03:58,028 - costas is on the phone. - it's happening. 104 00:03:58,029 --> 00:03:59,906 It's happening. 105 00:04:01,908 --> 00:04:03,826 Bob. - ryan king? 106 00:04:03,827 --> 00:04:05,202 Yeah, this is bob costas. - "Hey, ryan, 107 00:04:05,203 --> 00:04:07,955 This is bob costas." Like the message you left me. 108 00:04:07,956 --> 00:04:09,748 I've listened to it Like a thousand times. 109 00:04:09,749 --> 00:04:11,208 It's like if stairway to heaven Called me. 110 00:04:11,209 --> 00:04:13,419 Funny, I actually played The message you left for me 111 00:04:13,420 --> 00:04:14,753 A bunch of times too. - really? 112 00:04:14,754 --> 00:04:17,465 No. Listen, I'm rolling out A new tv show. 113 00:04:17,466 --> 00:04:19,925 I think there might be A place for you. 114 00:04:19,926 --> 00:04:22,428 You come do a spot. If it works, 115 00:04:22,429 --> 00:04:23,929 We're in business. What do you say? 116 00:04:23,930 --> 00:04:25,681 - bob, I'm really flattered. - great. 117 00:04:25,682 --> 00:04:27,600 Call my office, And we'll set it up. 118 00:04:27,601 --> 00:04:28,684 It could win you another emmy. 119 00:04:28,685 --> 00:04:30,352 Actually, I don't have any. 120 00:04:30,353 --> 00:04:31,937 Tell you what, I'll bring one of mine over, 121 00:04:31,938 --> 00:04:33,772 You can keep it. - okay. 122 00:04:33,773 --> 00:04:35,941 Ryan, that's amazing. 123 00:04:35,942 --> 00:04:37,359 I can't do tv. 124 00:04:37,360 --> 00:04:38,569 Why not? 125 00:04:38,570 --> 00:04:39,820 Have you never googled him? 126 00:04:39,821 --> 00:04:41,322 What do you do all day 127 00:04:41,323 --> 00:04:42,990 Besides read your old lady Soap opera magazines? 128 00:04:42,991 --> 00:04:45,951 Long ago, Ryan tried his hand at tv. 129 00:04:45,952 --> 00:04:47,912 One fateful day, 130 00:04:47,913 --> 00:04:50,998 Found himself on camera Next to a mr. Richard eisen. 131 00:04:50,999 --> 00:04:53,959 We're talking football, then He switched it up to soccer, 132 00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:55,878 Took me out of my comfort zone. 133 00:04:55,879 --> 00:04:59,465 The lights, The cameras recording an image. 134 00:04:59,466 --> 00:05:00,841 One that would end up On the internet 135 00:05:00,842 --> 00:05:02,468 And be seen by everyone. 136 00:05:02,469 --> 00:05:04,803 This is why I can't do tv Anymore, 137 00:05:04,804 --> 00:05:09,058 Even if bob costas himself Asked me back in. 138 00:05:09,059 --> 00:05:11,769 Ryan, we've all had Embarrassing moments. 139 00:05:11,770 --> 00:05:14,355 Remember owen's story About how he was on the beach 140 00:05:14,356 --> 00:05:15,523 Wearing only a towel, 141 00:05:15,524 --> 00:05:17,650 Then a white horse Came and ate his towel? 142 00:05:17,651 --> 00:05:19,360 That never happened. 143 00:05:19,361 --> 00:05:21,070 Lauren, I might be having Dreams about owen. 144 00:05:21,071 --> 00:05:24,406 Sonia, don't start Another group affair. 145 00:05:24,407 --> 00:05:25,908 That's how we lost carl. 146 00:05:25,909 --> 00:05:28,035 Dude, that was worth it. 147 00:05:28,036 --> 00:05:29,662 Nothing's worth it anymore. 148 00:05:29,663 --> 00:05:31,956 My life is devoid of meaning 149 00:05:31,957 --> 00:05:34,500 Or purpose or hope. 150 00:05:34,501 --> 00:05:37,002 What brave emotional honesty. Let's discuss that further. 151 00:05:37,003 --> 00:05:39,004 No, ryan has his thing. My despair can wait. 152 00:05:39,005 --> 00:05:40,506 Yeah. 153 00:05:40,507 --> 00:05:42,967 So, ryan, If this had gone well, 154 00:05:42,968 --> 00:05:44,301 You'd still be doing tv? 155 00:05:44,302 --> 00:05:47,888 Yeah, if I could go back And erase that, yeah. 156 00:05:47,889 --> 00:05:50,015 Then go back on that show And get it right this time. 157 00:05:50,016 --> 00:05:52,685 Yeah. Eisen would have me back on. 158 00:05:52,686 --> 00:05:55,437 It'd be tough to pull off Without janie around, though. 159 00:05:55,438 --> 00:05:57,022 She knew just how to relax me. 160 00:05:57,023 --> 00:06:01,694 She would smile And give me a scalp massage 161 00:06:01,695 --> 00:06:03,654 And tell me That I was gonna be great, 162 00:06:03,655 --> 00:06:05,030 And I believed her. 163 00:06:05,031 --> 00:06:07,616 That's it. That's my new purpose. 164 00:06:07,617 --> 00:06:10,119 - what? - ryan. 165 00:06:10,120 --> 00:06:12,997 I'm going to replace janie. - what? 166 00:06:12,998 --> 00:06:15,416 I'm capable. I can do great things. 167 00:06:15,417 --> 00:06:17,418 Dvvvft. Dvvvft. Dvvvft. 168 00:06:17,419 --> 00:06:19,587 Wow, it's like she's back. 169 00:06:19,588 --> 00:06:21,130 Hello. 170 00:06:21,131 --> 00:06:22,090 Owen. 171 00:06:23,717 --> 00:06:25,134 What do you wear To a quinceanera? 172 00:06:25,135 --> 00:06:27,428 You know, danny, I'm happy you asked, 173 00:06:27,429 --> 00:06:29,597 Because, if you don't commit to The appropriate cultural garb, 174 00:06:29,598 --> 00:06:30,723 It's really offensive. 175 00:06:30,724 --> 00:06:32,808 Hoo. I would hate to offend someone. 176 00:06:32,809 --> 00:06:34,893 Well, you have Bullfighter stuff, right? 177 00:06:34,894 --> 00:06:37,062 - no. - dude, we need to go shopping. 178 00:06:37,063 --> 00:06:39,064 We need to get you Some... 179 00:06:39,065 --> 00:06:43,027 Fausta, honey, there's been Some kind of mistake. 180 00:06:43,028 --> 00:06:46,030 You forgot to send me an Invitation to the quinceanera. 181 00:06:46,031 --> 00:06:47,531 I didn't forget. 182 00:06:47,532 --> 00:06:49,199 You are not invited. 183 00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:52,244 Wait a minute. 184 00:06:52,245 --> 00:06:54,079 Not that I care-- I mean, I clearly have 185 00:06:54,080 --> 00:06:57,583 Way better things to do-- Why not? 186 00:06:57,584 --> 00:07:00,878 Because you are--how you say-- You are sour, 187 00:07:00,879 --> 00:07:02,212 You are difficult. 188 00:07:02,213 --> 00:07:04,089 Momento. Sonia wrote a few down for me. 189 00:07:04,090 --> 00:07:07,593 "You are wet blanket, Bummer, 190 00:07:07,594 --> 00:07:10,095 Buzz kill, Bit-cah?" 191 00:07:10,096 --> 00:07:11,597 How you read? 192 00:07:11,598 --> 00:07:15,142 - "Bitch." - yes. That's good. 193 00:07:15,143 --> 00:07:17,479 "Bitch." 194 00:07:21,608 --> 00:07:22,941 If janie were here and you had Something in your teeth 195 00:07:22,942 --> 00:07:24,234 And she told you, Would you appreciate that? 196 00:07:24,235 --> 00:07:26,779 - yeah. - put this poppy seed 197 00:07:26,780 --> 00:07:28,989 In your teeth. 198 00:07:28,990 --> 00:07:31,784 Well, look who it is dipping His toe back in the tv waters. 199 00:07:31,785 --> 00:07:34,787 Returning to the scene of the Crime, ryan, it's a bold move. 200 00:07:34,788 --> 00:07:36,538 Hey, very nice of you To have me on, 201 00:07:36,539 --> 00:07:39,249 Especially after all the shots I take at you on the air. 202 00:07:39,250 --> 00:07:40,751 Well, what happens On the radio 203 00:07:40,752 --> 00:07:43,545 Is between you And dan from burbank. 204 00:07:43,546 --> 00:07:45,005 Listen, is there anything I can get you? 205 00:07:45,006 --> 00:07:47,091 Coffee, medication, Anything to help you avoid 206 00:07:47,092 --> 00:07:49,259 Another epic meltdown like The last time you were on tv? 207 00:07:49,260 --> 00:07:51,136 You know, I figured out What happened last time. 208 00:07:51,137 --> 00:07:54,598 I had an allergic reaction To your hair gel. 209 00:07:54,599 --> 00:07:56,100 Shouldn't be a problem anymore, Huh, rich eisen? 210 00:07:56,101 --> 00:07:58,769 I'm frozen without retort, Sort of like-- 211 00:07:58,770 --> 00:08:03,148 Oh, is that playing on every Possible screen behind me? 212 00:08:03,149 --> 00:08:04,733 Yeah, it is. 213 00:08:04,734 --> 00:08:06,735 We've been practicing this Ever since you called. 214 00:08:09,572 --> 00:08:10,781 He's gonna destroy me. 215 00:08:10,782 --> 00:08:11,782 When people leave espn, 216 00:08:11,783 --> 00:08:13,242 They're angry, deranged. 217 00:08:13,243 --> 00:08:14,702 What does chris berman Do to them? 218 00:08:14,703 --> 00:08:18,622 Shh. 219 00:08:18,623 --> 00:08:20,916 No, mr. K, you can't-- 220 00:08:20,917 --> 00:08:23,669 Oh, oh, so good. Oh... 221 00:08:23,670 --> 00:08:24,795 Now take off your shirt. 222 00:08:24,796 --> 00:08:26,880 - get out. - okay. 223 00:08:26,881 --> 00:08:28,924 And we are on in three, 224 00:08:28,925 --> 00:08:30,050 Two... 225 00:08:31,678 --> 00:08:33,095 Welcome to rich eisen live. 226 00:08:33,096 --> 00:08:35,013 It's ryan king On the show, everybody, 227 00:08:35,014 --> 00:08:36,932 And, ryan, we are gonna talk About the nfl, 228 00:08:36,933 --> 00:08:39,184 But first I'd love To talk a little bit of soccer 229 00:08:39,185 --> 00:08:40,853 And get your thoughts 230 00:08:40,854 --> 00:08:43,690 On this year's Premier league championship. 231 00:08:44,691 --> 00:08:46,316 Ryan, you okay? 232 00:08:46,317 --> 00:08:49,820 Yes, I'm just surprised By the easy question. 233 00:08:49,821 --> 00:08:50,988 I love an underdog. 234 00:08:50,989 --> 00:08:53,741 That's why I'm A big rich eisen fan. 235 00:08:53,742 --> 00:08:55,117 So I'm going with man city To repeat. 236 00:08:55,118 --> 00:08:57,828 Especially since their Vice-captain micah richards 237 00:08:57,829 --> 00:08:59,329 Will be back in boots. 238 00:08:59,330 --> 00:09:01,290 It's a pleasure Talking footie with you. 239 00:09:01,291 --> 00:09:04,752 All right. I got this. 240 00:09:04,753 --> 00:09:06,253 I'm ready for costas. 241 00:09:06,254 --> 00:09:07,838 This is called a walk-off. 242 00:09:07,839 --> 00:09:09,590 It's a baseball term, Rich eisen. 243 00:09:09,591 --> 00:09:11,008 Whoo! My man! 244 00:09:11,009 --> 00:09:13,678 Making my moment weird. Get out, get out, get out. 245 00:09:18,141 --> 00:09:21,810 Do you experience me As a wet blanket? A bummer? 246 00:09:21,811 --> 00:09:24,980 Anne, you're kind of catching Me off guard here, but yeah. 247 00:09:24,981 --> 00:09:28,609 Fausta didn't invite me To her niece's thing. 248 00:09:28,610 --> 00:09:31,695 I mean, yes, okay, I'm not All sunshine and rainbows, 249 00:09:31,696 --> 00:09:32,946 But my life is hell. 250 00:09:32,947 --> 00:09:35,074 I'm basically drowning In a sea of sorrow. 251 00:09:35,075 --> 00:09:37,701 Hard to imagine Why she wouldn't want that 252 00:09:37,702 --> 00:09:38,952 At a 15-year-old's party. 253 00:09:38,953 --> 00:09:41,079 I can be as difficult As I want. 254 00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:42,956 My stuff is bigger than hers. 255 00:09:42,957 --> 00:09:44,917 I don't think She sees it that way. 256 00:09:44,918 --> 00:09:46,877 Why are you defending her? Why aren't you mad? 257 00:09:46,878 --> 00:09:49,129 Well, I was invited. 258 00:09:49,130 --> 00:09:50,839 What? It never even occurred 259 00:09:50,840 --> 00:09:52,216 To me That she would invite you. 260 00:09:52,217 --> 00:09:53,926 That's it. 261 00:09:53,927 --> 00:09:55,844 She's not getting away With this. 262 00:09:55,845 --> 00:09:58,055 Honey, is she bothering you? 263 00:09:58,056 --> 00:10:01,683 What the Is this? 264 00:10:01,684 --> 00:10:05,062 I don't want to know. 265 00:10:05,063 --> 00:10:09,024 So will I be joining you for Your special tv show tomorrow? 266 00:10:09,025 --> 00:10:11,902 Well, the stakes Are pretty high tomorrow. 267 00:10:11,903 --> 00:10:14,780 Why don't we discuss it Over dinner? 268 00:10:14,781 --> 00:10:18,700 Let's take a look At this lasagna. 269 00:10:18,701 --> 00:10:21,870 You were in there for Three hours, and this is cereal. 270 00:10:21,871 --> 00:10:23,080 - yeah. - yeah. 271 00:10:23,081 --> 00:10:24,624 Maybe we skip tomorrow. 272 00:10:26,334 --> 00:10:28,794 - what are you doing? - I'm loosening up. 273 00:10:28,795 --> 00:10:31,129 I heard costas goes in hard For the handshake. 274 00:10:31,130 --> 00:10:32,923 He believes he can measure A man's worth 275 00:10:32,924 --> 00:10:35,092 By his grip, and I don't want To come up short. 276 00:10:35,093 --> 00:10:36,343 Just think, carrie. 277 00:10:36,344 --> 00:10:38,804 Any moment he's gonna walk up With that voice. 278 00:10:38,805 --> 00:10:40,305 "Hi, I'm bob costas. 279 00:10:40,306 --> 00:10:41,932 Hi, I'm bob costas." 280 00:10:41,933 --> 00:10:43,267 Hi, I'm bob costas. 281 00:10:43,268 --> 00:10:44,768 He does it so much better. 282 00:10:44,769 --> 00:10:47,146 - good to meet you, ryan. - oh, thanks for ha... 283 00:10:47,147 --> 00:10:48,939 You know, Everybody I shake hands with 284 00:10:48,940 --> 00:10:49,982 Has pretty much That same reaction. 285 00:10:49,983 --> 00:10:51,233 And the funny thing is, 286 00:10:51,234 --> 00:10:54,027 I'm a natural lefty. 287 00:10:54,028 --> 00:10:55,737 Who's this? - oh, that doesn't matter. 288 00:10:55,738 --> 00:10:56,989 All right, look, I got to find out 289 00:10:56,990 --> 00:10:59,157 What you're all about. Just vibe with me here. 290 00:10:59,158 --> 00:11:00,325 I want to try something, okay? 291 00:11:00,326 --> 00:11:03,120 Go with me. Epic, defining moments, 292 00:11:03,121 --> 00:11:04,997 Blah, blah, blah, 293 00:11:04,998 --> 00:11:07,124 Unscripted drama of sports, Blah, blah, blah, 294 00:11:07,125 --> 00:11:09,960 Mr. October, Blah, blah, blah. 295 00:11:09,961 --> 00:11:12,170 Yeah, this is gonna work. Here are the topics. 296 00:11:12,171 --> 00:11:13,964 Look 'em over, and I'll see you For the second segment. 297 00:11:13,965 --> 00:11:16,884 - okay. - hey, bob costas. 298 00:11:16,885 --> 00:11:18,135 Put her there. - ow. 299 00:11:18,136 --> 00:11:19,219 Oh, my god. This is perfect. 300 00:11:19,220 --> 00:11:21,013 Hockey, The state of the red sox-- 301 00:11:21,014 --> 00:11:22,389 This is everything I ever talk about. 302 00:11:22,390 --> 00:11:25,100 Can I touch you up Before the shoot? 303 00:11:25,101 --> 00:11:27,060 Tv. 304 00:11:27,061 --> 00:11:29,187 You're not gonna try To put anything in my eyes 305 00:11:29,188 --> 00:11:30,147 To make them pop, Are you? 306 00:11:30,148 --> 00:11:33,442 Actually, could you? 307 00:11:44,746 --> 00:11:46,872 I love this guy. 308 00:11:46,873 --> 00:11:49,041 Owen, where's your outfit? 309 00:11:49,042 --> 00:11:50,834 You're offending everyone here. 310 00:11:50,835 --> 00:11:54,129 Everyone is offending Everyone here. 311 00:11:54,130 --> 00:11:57,132 Oh, danny, the jacket, That's owen's fault, 312 00:11:57,133 --> 00:11:59,885 But the shoes--ooh, the shoes Are on you, bud. 313 00:11:59,886 --> 00:12:01,929 - hey. - anne, what are you doing here? 314 00:12:01,930 --> 00:12:03,180 Shut it, aladdin. 315 00:12:03,181 --> 00:12:05,891 Fausta does not get To exclude me from this. 316 00:12:05,892 --> 00:12:08,268 Look there. A completely empty table. 317 00:12:08,269 --> 00:12:09,478 All right, Out of the way, girls. 318 00:12:09,479 --> 00:12:11,772 Widow coming through. Yeah, that's right. 319 00:12:11,773 --> 00:12:14,232 Life ain't all justin bieber And second base. 320 00:12:14,233 --> 00:12:15,776 We're back in five. 321 00:12:15,777 --> 00:12:18,070 Hello, is ryan king here? He forgot his lunch. 322 00:12:18,071 --> 00:12:20,948 - who are you? - who are you? 323 00:12:20,949 --> 00:12:22,240 I'm bob. 324 00:12:22,241 --> 00:12:23,450 What do you do, bob? 325 00:12:23,451 --> 00:12:26,078 I'm a sports broadcaster. 326 00:12:26,079 --> 00:12:29,206 Is that all? My name is mr. K. 327 00:12:29,207 --> 00:12:33,251 Robert quinlan cost... 328 00:12:33,252 --> 00:12:36,129 Well, all right, mr. K. I'm listening. 329 00:12:36,130 --> 00:12:38,298 Sports broadcasting-- How long have you done that? 330 00:12:38,299 --> 00:12:41,259 Well, I was the voice Of the spirits of st. Louis 331 00:12:41,260 --> 00:12:43,470 Of the a.B.A. Back in 1974. 332 00:12:43,471 --> 00:12:45,847 Huh, I spent the last Ten years building a robot arm 333 00:12:45,848 --> 00:12:47,975 That goes dvvvft, dvvvft. 334 00:12:47,976 --> 00:12:50,852 Now I have to be brave enough To ask, "What's next?" 335 00:12:50,853 --> 00:12:52,479 You know, I can relate to that. 336 00:12:52,480 --> 00:12:54,272 Here I am with a new show, 337 00:12:54,273 --> 00:12:56,066 And yet I'm talking About sports. 338 00:12:56,067 --> 00:12:58,026 There's so much more I could talk about-- 339 00:12:58,027 --> 00:13:00,862 Philosophy, Poetry, music, 340 00:13:00,863 --> 00:13:02,114 Nanotechnology. 341 00:13:02,115 --> 00:13:03,115 I'd watch that show. 342 00:13:03,116 --> 00:13:04,199 I could do that show. 343 00:13:04,200 --> 00:13:06,369 But you won't. 344 00:13:08,371 --> 00:13:11,123 That candy, is that, like, For anybody? 345 00:13:11,124 --> 00:13:12,290 Hoo. - hey, gator, 346 00:13:12,291 --> 00:13:13,500 Forget about the graphics 347 00:13:13,501 --> 00:13:14,960 On the kings And the red sox. 348 00:13:14,961 --> 00:13:18,088 Load these in. Okay, thanks. 349 00:13:18,089 --> 00:13:19,339 Hey, ryan, This is gonna be good. 350 00:13:19,340 --> 00:13:21,299 We're gonna change things up A little bit. 351 00:13:21,300 --> 00:13:25,137 Why? I was excited for the way Things were going to exactly be. 352 00:13:25,138 --> 00:13:28,473 I talked to him. You're welcome. 353 00:13:28,474 --> 00:13:30,476 Ooh, your eyes look awesome. 354 00:13:34,188 --> 00:13:36,106 And welcome back To the new and, we think, 355 00:13:36,107 --> 00:13:37,399 Improved bob costas show. 356 00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:38,984 There's a lot to talk about Out there, 357 00:13:38,985 --> 00:13:40,402 And ryan king is here To help us get 358 00:13:40,403 --> 00:13:41,528 To the bottom of it all. 359 00:13:41,529 --> 00:13:43,864 Thank you, bob. For the first time, 360 00:13:43,865 --> 00:13:44,990 Los angeles is a hockey town. 361 00:13:44,991 --> 00:13:46,908 When the l.A. Kings Won the cup-- 362 00:13:46,909 --> 00:13:51,163 Ryan, let's take a look At the first graphic, all right? 363 00:13:51,164 --> 00:13:52,539 Thoughts? 364 00:13:52,540 --> 00:13:54,041 Uh... 365 00:13:54,042 --> 00:13:55,459 No. 366 00:13:55,460 --> 00:13:57,919 Leonardo fibonacci, Mathematician. 367 00:13:57,920 --> 00:14:02,466 Born 1170, pisa. Died 1240, pisa. 368 00:14:02,467 --> 00:14:04,176 Your thoughts On the fibonacci sequence-- 369 00:14:04,177 --> 00:14:06,261 Divine numerical progression 370 00:14:06,262 --> 00:14:10,015 Or cruel illusion of order Out of chaos? 371 00:14:10,016 --> 00:14:12,100 No, costas Is going intellectual. 372 00:14:12,101 --> 00:14:13,435 You want to talk numbers, 373 00:14:13,436 --> 00:14:15,479 911, that's a sequence Of numbers 374 00:14:15,480 --> 00:14:16,688 That you should call. 375 00:14:16,689 --> 00:14:18,523 The fashion police to talk 376 00:14:18,524 --> 00:14:20,400 About that firbucci's hat there. 377 00:14:20,401 --> 00:14:22,903 Has ryan had the talk With you? 378 00:14:22,904 --> 00:14:24,404 About how he's secretly stupid? 379 00:14:24,405 --> 00:14:26,031 - he is? - big time. 380 00:14:26,032 --> 00:14:28,033 Doesn't know What the taj mahal is. 381 00:14:28,034 --> 00:14:30,243 Uses the word "Literally" wrong All the time. 382 00:14:30,244 --> 00:14:31,995 He does. The other day, 383 00:14:31,996 --> 00:14:33,914 He said it was literally 1,000 degrees. 384 00:14:33,915 --> 00:14:36,458 What he's brilliant at Is steering a conversation back 385 00:14:36,459 --> 00:14:38,126 To his sweet spot. 386 00:14:38,127 --> 00:14:41,088 He's got two moves--first, Hard turn back into sports. 387 00:14:41,089 --> 00:14:43,423 Now personally I'd say That's too much power 388 00:14:43,424 --> 00:14:45,383 Even for a supreme court justice To have. 389 00:14:45,384 --> 00:14:48,386 Well, you want to talk about A justice with too much power-- 390 00:14:48,387 --> 00:14:51,264 David justice. Hit a lot of home runs, bob, 391 00:14:51,265 --> 00:14:52,557 But how many of them Were clean? 392 00:14:52,558 --> 00:14:54,226 I mean, how many of 'em Should have 393 00:14:54,227 --> 00:14:56,394 A little star thingy Next to 'em? 394 00:14:56,395 --> 00:14:58,230 You mean, an asterisk? 395 00:14:58,231 --> 00:14:59,648 He doesn't know The word "Asterisk." 396 00:14:59,649 --> 00:15:02,025 I've heard him call it An asteroid. 397 00:15:02,026 --> 00:15:04,069 His other move is distracting 398 00:15:04,070 --> 00:15:07,197 With lame pop culture References. 399 00:15:07,198 --> 00:15:08,573 Here's my question-- 400 00:15:08,574 --> 00:15:12,119 Where has all the talk About monet and manet gone? 401 00:15:12,120 --> 00:15:15,580 All kids learn about is dali And m.C. Escher. 402 00:15:15,581 --> 00:15:18,250 Well, I would like To quote another m.C. 403 00:15:18,251 --> 00:15:19,584 No. No. 404 00:15:19,585 --> 00:15:21,419 - m.C. Hammer. - no. 405 00:15:21,420 --> 00:15:25,090 Because, when you take The monets and the manets, 406 00:15:25,091 --> 00:15:26,591 You can't touch this. 407 00:15:26,592 --> 00:15:28,009 Am I right? 408 00:15:28,010 --> 00:15:31,304 Space or time? 409 00:15:31,305 --> 00:15:34,182 Which are we really moving Through, and ultimately 410 00:15:34,183 --> 00:15:35,434 Does it matter? 411 00:15:37,478 --> 00:15:42,649 Ryan. Ryan. 412 00:15:42,650 --> 00:15:45,694 Well, our thanks to... 413 00:15:45,695 --> 00:15:47,612 Ryan king. 414 00:15:47,613 --> 00:15:51,491 And the bob costas show Continues after these messages. 415 00:15:51,492 --> 00:15:52,576 - we're clear. - all right. 416 00:15:52,577 --> 00:15:54,494 Let's change this Back to sports. 417 00:15:54,495 --> 00:15:56,037 That sucked. 418 00:15:58,082 --> 00:16:00,167 Did you see that, What just happened? 419 00:16:00,168 --> 00:16:01,585 That was literally A train wreck. 420 00:16:01,586 --> 00:16:04,629 No, ryan, it was figuratively A train wreck. 421 00:16:04,630 --> 00:16:07,757 - what? - that was awesome, ryan. 422 00:16:07,758 --> 00:16:09,426 You! 423 00:16:09,427 --> 00:16:10,719 You ruined everything. 424 00:16:10,720 --> 00:16:12,721 Just like janie used to? 425 00:16:12,722 --> 00:16:15,182 I told you To stay home. 426 00:16:15,183 --> 00:16:17,017 But you forgot Your lunch. 427 00:16:17,018 --> 00:16:19,769 This is pictures of food! 428 00:16:19,770 --> 00:16:21,605 Look, be as weird As you want in group, 429 00:16:21,606 --> 00:16:22,647 But this is my life. 430 00:16:22,648 --> 00:16:24,399 This could have been 431 00:16:24,400 --> 00:16:26,359 A huge opportunity for me, And you ruined it. 432 00:16:26,360 --> 00:16:28,196 I don't want your help anymore. 433 00:16:30,323 --> 00:16:33,326 I make things worse. 434 00:16:36,537 --> 00:16:39,289 I'm gonna need Those eyelashes back. 435 00:16:39,290 --> 00:16:41,626 What lashes? 436 00:16:50,176 --> 00:16:51,509 - anne. - yeah. 437 00:16:51,510 --> 00:16:52,677 If you're gonna be here, Would you care 438 00:16:52,678 --> 00:16:55,263 To come sit someplace Less conspicuous? 439 00:16:55,264 --> 00:16:57,515 Look at her Having so much fun 440 00:16:57,516 --> 00:16:59,726 With her family And her friends 441 00:16:59,727 --> 00:17:02,729 While I sit at the table With my partner, loneliness. 442 00:17:02,730 --> 00:17:04,190 Yeah, I'm off the clock. 443 00:17:07,818 --> 00:17:09,736 - bueno, bueno. - hey! 444 00:17:09,737 --> 00:17:12,739 Banana shoes, come. Translate for me. 445 00:17:12,740 --> 00:17:13,865 I want to hear What she says about me. 446 00:17:13,866 --> 00:17:15,450 No, don't sit At the table. 447 00:17:15,451 --> 00:17:17,202 It lessens my isolation. 448 00:17:24,377 --> 00:17:26,670 She's glad that we made it. 449 00:17:26,671 --> 00:17:27,796 She loves her niece. 450 00:17:27,797 --> 00:17:29,172 Wow, what an orator. 451 00:17:29,173 --> 00:17:30,715 Move over, abe lincoln. 452 00:17:33,552 --> 00:17:35,136 Oh, here it is. 453 00:17:35,137 --> 00:17:38,139 What'd she say about me? 454 00:17:38,140 --> 00:17:40,141 "This table is left empty To honor those 455 00:17:40,142 --> 00:17:42,435 "Who can't be here with us. 456 00:17:42,436 --> 00:17:45,355 "Like, two beautiful sons, My husband, my little girl. 457 00:17:45,356 --> 00:17:47,857 Every day I miss them." 458 00:17:50,736 --> 00:17:56,324 "Being without them Fills me with a great sorrow." 459 00:17:56,325 --> 00:17:57,576 Disculpame! 460 00:17:57,577 --> 00:18:00,328 She's apologizing for my shoes. 461 00:18:00,329 --> 00:18:03,498 She's explaining Don't be mad at me. 462 00:18:04,500 --> 00:18:06,876 My head is soft Like a-- 463 00:18:06,877 --> 00:18:08,211 There's not An exact translation, 464 00:18:08,212 --> 00:18:11,756 But it's a large, Mexican gourd-like vegetable. 465 00:18:16,762 --> 00:18:20,807 Fausta, I'm sorry That you miss your family. 466 00:18:20,808 --> 00:18:22,559 I'm sorry I sat at your table. 467 00:18:22,560 --> 00:18:25,770 I, uh, I am a bit-cah. 468 00:18:25,771 --> 00:18:27,605 No. 469 00:18:27,606 --> 00:18:28,940 It's okay. 470 00:18:28,941 --> 00:18:30,608 You and these people, 471 00:18:30,609 --> 00:18:33,862 You help fill My empty table. 472 00:18:33,863 --> 00:18:36,615 Oh, my chiquita. 473 00:18:36,616 --> 00:18:38,408 How do you do it? 474 00:18:38,409 --> 00:18:41,786 How do you smile With so much pain? 475 00:18:41,787 --> 00:18:44,456 You can smile Or you can cry. 476 00:18:44,457 --> 00:18:48,626 And I choose to smile. You people help. 477 00:18:48,627 --> 00:18:50,170 Come on. 478 00:18:50,171 --> 00:18:51,796 Let's get you fun clothes. 479 00:18:51,797 --> 00:18:53,923 - what? - no more sad man suit. 480 00:18:53,924 --> 00:18:56,384 This is a good suit. 481 00:18:56,385 --> 00:18:57,844 No, it's not Supposed to be. 482 00:18:57,845 --> 00:19:00,805 ♪ hola my little mama ♪ 483 00:19:00,806 --> 00:19:03,558 ♪ the way you move it, You get me going ♪ 484 00:19:03,559 --> 00:19:05,810 Oh! 485 00:19:05,811 --> 00:19:08,229 Anne, you look so pretty. 486 00:19:08,230 --> 00:19:12,275 Yeah, fausta's niece Made a costume change, 487 00:19:12,276 --> 00:19:13,902 So this was available. 488 00:19:13,903 --> 00:19:16,905 Now come with me, senorita. We find you a man. 489 00:19:16,906 --> 00:19:17,822 - oh. - and don't say no. 490 00:19:17,823 --> 00:19:20,408 Why can't she find a man? 491 00:19:20,409 --> 00:19:22,577 Maybe she's shy. 492 00:19:22,578 --> 00:19:23,745 - that's it. - vamonos. 493 00:19:23,746 --> 00:19:25,914 Oh, good god. 494 00:19:25,915 --> 00:19:26,998 Okay, I'm first. 495 00:19:26,999 --> 00:19:28,333 Hey. Hi. 496 00:19:28,334 --> 00:19:30,585 Hi. So the costas thing Didn't go so well, huh? 497 00:19:30,586 --> 00:19:34,506 It was literally The apocalypse. 498 00:19:34,507 --> 00:19:36,549 Look, mr. K is really upset. 499 00:19:36,550 --> 00:19:37,634 He feels responsible. 500 00:19:37,635 --> 00:19:38,927 I think You should go talk to him. 501 00:19:38,928 --> 00:19:41,012 No. I got enough problems. 502 00:19:41,013 --> 00:19:42,847 I let that guy Back into my life, 503 00:19:42,848 --> 00:19:43,973 There'll be no end to it. 504 00:19:43,974 --> 00:19:45,433 The man is a menace. 505 00:19:45,434 --> 00:19:47,685 Ryan, do you remember How excited you were 506 00:19:47,686 --> 00:19:49,813 When you thought bob costas Was gonna be in your life? 507 00:19:49,814 --> 00:19:51,356 Yeah. 508 00:19:51,357 --> 00:19:52,899 You are mr. K's bob costas. 509 00:19:52,900 --> 00:19:55,235 Now I'm really sorry You lost yours, 510 00:19:55,236 --> 00:19:57,612 But does he have To lose his too? 511 00:19:57,613 --> 00:20:00,407 Oh, god, Look at him. 512 00:20:00,408 --> 00:20:02,951 Are those tears in his beard? - yeah. 513 00:20:02,952 --> 00:20:04,953 Becoming a better person Is such a drag. 514 00:20:07,957 --> 00:20:10,292 Hi. 515 00:20:13,337 --> 00:20:14,712 Hi. 516 00:20:14,713 --> 00:20:17,507 I'm sorry I yelled at you. 517 00:20:17,508 --> 00:20:19,592 You were just trying To help. 518 00:20:19,593 --> 00:20:21,679 It won't happen again. 519 00:20:23,556 --> 00:20:26,767 Put this poppy seed In your mouth. 520 00:20:31,522 --> 00:20:33,606 You have something In your teeth. 521 00:20:33,607 --> 00:20:35,400 Thank you. 522 00:20:35,401 --> 00:20:37,403 We're back. 523 00:20:42,074 --> 00:20:44,367 How long We gonna do this for? 524 00:20:44,368 --> 00:20:45,994 Exactly 45 seconds. 525 00:20:45,995 --> 00:20:47,328 Okay. 526 00:20:47,329 --> 00:20:48,914 - starting now. - okay. 527 00:20:51,876 --> 00:20:53,001 Lots going on In the world of sports, 528 00:20:53,002 --> 00:20:54,878 And we will talk About none of it. 529 00:20:54,879 --> 00:20:57,464 You all remember This instant classic, don't you? 530 00:20:57,465 --> 00:20:59,924 Well, now he has a brother. 531 00:20:59,925 --> 00:21:02,635 Christmas has come early, Rich eisen fans, 532 00:21:02,636 --> 00:21:04,053 Or hanukkah, kwanzaa. 533 00:21:04,054 --> 00:21:06,764 Ryan king's humiliation Knows no religious boundaries. 534 00:21:06,765 --> 00:21:10,351 It's the gift from the heavens, The gift that keeps on giving. 535 00:21:10,352 --> 00:21:13,771 Eisen, you evil bastard. You win again. 536 00:21:13,772 --> 00:21:18,819 Oh, honey, you're on tv. 38375

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