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1
00:00:03,208 --> 00:00:04,208
Sorry, I'm late.
2
00:00:04,292 --> 00:00:06,667
I'm assuming you're a Wonder Man
and not a Barnaby?
3
00:00:06,750 --> 00:00:07,750
Correct.
4
00:00:07,833 --> 00:00:09,958
I don't have
a Doorman waiver on file for you,
5
00:00:10,042 --> 00:00:11,667
so I'm gonna need you to sign this...
6
00:00:12,917 --> 00:00:15,042
Assuming, of course,
you don't have superpowers.
7
00:00:15,833 --> 00:00:17,500
The showrunner just called.
8
00:00:17,583 --> 00:00:19,417
He's cutting your character from the show.
9
00:00:19,500 --> 00:00:21,333
What happenedon American Horror Story, Simon?
10
00:00:21,417 --> 00:00:22,417
I got fired, okay?
11
00:00:22,500 --> 00:00:25,667
- Oh, no, Simon. Really?
- No, Mummi, it wasn't my fault.
12
00:00:25,750 --> 00:00:27,250
Of course,
nothing is ever your fault.
13
00:00:27,333 --> 00:00:28,750
Don't upset him.
14
00:00:31,875 --> 00:00:34,333
You know I'd never work again
if anyone found out.
15
00:00:34,417 --> 00:00:35,583
What are you talking about?
16
00:00:35,667 --> 00:00:37,750
Because of DeMarr "Doorman" Davis.
17
00:00:37,833 --> 00:00:40,125
Sorry. Who's DeMarr "Doorman" Davis?
18
00:01:20,708 --> 00:01:23,500
Oh, damn. Sorry. I can't let y'all in.
19
00:01:23,583 --> 00:01:24,875
What? Why not?
20
00:01:24,958 --> 00:01:27,417
You see, right there,
it says you're from Texas.
21
00:01:27,500 --> 00:01:29,875
And I heard they dance weird out there.
22
00:01:30,917 --> 00:01:32,125
Yeah. We don't do none of this in LA.
23
00:01:32,208 --> 00:01:33,750
♪ Woohoo ♪
24
00:01:33,833 --> 00:01:35,917
♪ Do-si-do, tell your mamaYou're too slow ♪
25
00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:37,125
Oh, my God.
26
00:01:38,083 --> 00:01:39,208
I think we'll be okay.
27
00:01:39,292 --> 00:01:41,333
All right. Get your ass in there, girl.
28
00:01:42,292 --> 00:01:44,500
Don't injure yourself now, you hear?
Yeehaw.
29
00:01:44,583 --> 00:01:48,000
Oh, yeah. Look who's in the house.
30
00:01:48,083 --> 00:01:50,250
- Oh, What?
- There he is.
31
00:01:50,333 --> 00:01:52,750
Stand back. What's up?
Mr. Gad, how you doing, sir?
32
00:01:52,833 --> 00:01:54,917
Mr. Gad? Come on, man.
33
00:01:55,000 --> 00:01:58,000
Call me Josh or J-Gad,
I'm trying to make that a thing.
34
00:01:58,083 --> 00:02:00,750
- Anyways, so what's cooking tonight?
- Oh, y'all gonna have fun tonight.
35
00:02:00,833 --> 00:02:03,417
We got the guy
from Imagine Dragons deejaying.
36
00:02:03,500 --> 00:02:06,333
Radioactive most important song
of the last three years, easy.
37
00:02:06,417 --> 00:02:07,417
- Oh, yeah.
- Yep.
38
00:02:07,500 --> 00:02:09,250
Listen, if things slow down out here,
39
00:02:09,333 --> 00:02:11,083
why don't you come in
and have a drink with me? Yeah?
40
00:02:11,167 --> 00:02:12,667
- Oh, that's very nice of you.
- Come here.
41
00:02:14,167 --> 00:02:16,125
Mmm. That's it.
42
00:02:18,292 --> 00:02:20,333
Okay. You're just gonna
wear the shades in?
43
00:02:21,083 --> 00:02:22,083
I don't know.
44
00:02:23,000 --> 00:02:24,458
Are you really with him? 'Cause...
45
00:02:26,167 --> 00:02:27,167
Next!
46
00:02:27,250 --> 00:02:30,333
Seems like it was live in here.
The line outside was slammed.
47
00:02:30,417 --> 00:02:32,833
People went apeshit
when Olaf started crowd surfing.
48
00:02:33,333 --> 00:02:34,333
I bet.
49
00:02:34,417 --> 00:02:39,083
Do you realize the first time
I tipped you out was over three years ago?
50
00:02:39,167 --> 00:02:41,583
You kidding? I've been here that long?
51
00:02:43,042 --> 00:02:46,250
- Do you like working here, DeMarr?
- Of course. Why you say that?
52
00:02:46,333 --> 00:02:48,667
We don't normally
have employees last with us this long.
53
00:02:48,750 --> 00:02:52,292
It's Hollywood. Everyone's an actor
or a model and, you know...
54
00:02:52,375 --> 00:02:55,167
Working here is just a stepping stone.
55
00:02:55,250 --> 00:02:57,167
That ain't me. I like this gig.
56
00:02:57,250 --> 00:02:58,375
It's fun.
57
00:02:58,458 --> 00:02:59,500
The tips are good.
58
00:02:59,583 --> 00:03:01,917
I get to talk to people and be myself.
59
00:03:03,625 --> 00:03:04,875
That's all I really need.
60
00:03:04,958 --> 00:03:07,458
You don't meet a lot of people
in this town who are happy
61
00:03:07,542 --> 00:03:08,542
with where they're at.
62
00:03:09,375 --> 00:03:10,375
Hold on to that.
63
00:03:11,000 --> 00:03:12,000
Why wouldn't I?
64
00:03:12,083 --> 00:03:13,333
Probably because you're gonna be hauling
65
00:03:13,417 --> 00:03:16,625
a stinky bag of garbage
in about two seconds.
66
00:03:19,875 --> 00:03:21,292
Heart-to-heart's over.
67
00:03:21,375 --> 00:03:23,750
Sorry. Thank you very much.
68
00:03:23,833 --> 00:03:25,833
Fun while it lasted.
69
00:03:39,667 --> 00:03:40,667
Shit.
70
00:04:01,958 --> 00:04:03,292
What the hell?
71
00:04:41,833 --> 00:04:43,375
No, no.
72
00:04:46,000 --> 00:04:47,292
No!
73
00:04:49,208 --> 00:04:51,667
No!
74
00:05:03,792 --> 00:05:04,792
Chance.
75
00:05:05,917 --> 00:05:07,458
What's up, Chance?
76
00:05:11,000 --> 00:05:12,000
Chance?
77
00:05:15,208 --> 00:05:16,208
Chance.
78
00:05:19,125 --> 00:05:20,125
Chance, I'm coming.
79
00:05:22,458 --> 00:05:23,458
Hello?
80
00:05:27,000 --> 00:05:28,000
Hello?
81
00:05:29,792 --> 00:05:31,917
Chance, come here. Come. Come here, girl.
82
00:05:32,000 --> 00:05:34,375
What the hell are you doing?
Get out of my apartment!
83
00:05:34,458 --> 00:05:36,292
Ma'am, uh, this is a misunderstanding.
84
00:05:36,375 --> 00:05:38,583
I put my hand in some goo,
and all of a sudden,
85
00:05:38,667 --> 00:05:40,042
my dog fell through the floor.
86
00:05:40,125 --> 00:05:41,958
- Get out!
- I promise I'm not breaking in.
87
00:05:45,083 --> 00:05:46,375
Whoa, I'm leaving.
88
00:05:56,792 --> 00:05:58,375
Oh, no.
89
00:06:00,750 --> 00:06:01,750
No.
90
00:06:04,583 --> 00:06:05,583
Nah.
91
00:06:11,250 --> 00:06:14,333
DeMarr, uh, you okay?
92
00:06:14,417 --> 00:06:15,583
Yeah, yeah.
93
00:06:15,667 --> 00:06:18,792
It's just kinda been a weird day.
That's all. Sorry.
94
00:06:18,875 --> 00:06:21,333
No, no, it's fine.
Listen, we are totally packed tonight.
95
00:06:21,417 --> 00:06:24,542
Pushing it on the fire code, so just,
you know, don't let anyone else in,
96
00:06:24,625 --> 00:06:26,417
- until it clears out a bit.
- I got you.
97
00:06:26,500 --> 00:06:28,042
♪ Bees'll buzz ♪
98
00:06:28,125 --> 00:06:29,958
♪ Kids'll blow dandelion fuzz ♪
99
00:06:30,042 --> 00:06:33,458
♪ And I'll be doing whatever snow doesIn summer ♪
100
00:06:36,292 --> 00:06:38,000
♪ A drink in my hand ♪
101
00:06:38,083 --> 00:06:40,167
♪ My snow up against the burning sand ♪
102
00:06:40,250 --> 00:06:43,875
♪ Prob'ly getting gorgeously tannedIn summer ♪
103
00:06:43,958 --> 00:06:48,125
We're melting! Melting, bitches!
104
00:06:48,208 --> 00:06:49,667
♪ Summer, summer, summer ♪
105
00:06:49,750 --> 00:06:54,333
♪ In summer ♪
106
00:07:00,375 --> 00:07:01,625
What the hell was that?
107
00:07:04,583 --> 00:07:06,125
It's stuck!
108
00:07:09,167 --> 00:07:10,833
- I can't get it open.
- Keep trying.
109
00:07:11,792 --> 00:07:14,875
I'm gonna call the fire department.
Get that door open.
110
00:07:14,958 --> 00:07:17,458
Okay. Hold on!
111
00:07:41,708 --> 00:07:44,875
The door was jammed. Quick, go through me.
112
00:07:44,958 --> 00:07:47,500
- What do you mean?
- Go through me.
113
00:07:47,583 --> 00:07:48,958
- I don't...
- What is he saying?
114
00:07:49,042 --> 00:07:50,750
I think he said he wants us inside him.
115
00:07:51,458 --> 00:07:52,458
Pass.
116
00:07:52,542 --> 00:07:56,417
He's saying,
he wants us to go through him.
117
00:07:59,333 --> 00:08:00,500
Mmm-hmm...
118
00:08:00,583 --> 00:08:02,792
How does... How do I do this?
Do I just enter you?
119
00:08:02,875 --> 00:08:04,250
I really don't know. Really.
120
00:08:04,333 --> 00:08:06,042
Uh, hold on. Just give me
a second, let me...
121
00:08:07,208 --> 00:08:08,417
- Now, now.
- Okay.
122
00:08:08,500 --> 00:08:10,125
Ugh!
123
00:08:10,208 --> 00:08:12,208
All right.
124
00:08:12,292 --> 00:08:15,583
Shit! Why am I doing this? Oh, God. Oh!
125
00:08:15,667 --> 00:08:17,833
Oh, look! Look at that.
There's the other side.
126
00:08:17,917 --> 00:08:18,917
Oh, shit.
127
00:08:19,000 --> 00:08:20,375
It works!
128
00:08:20,458 --> 00:08:23,250
Everyone follow me. Exit through DeMarr.
129
00:08:32,292 --> 00:08:33,958
Hurry! This shit ain't easy.
130
00:08:38,667 --> 00:08:40,083
- Hey.
- Jesus!
131
00:08:40,167 --> 00:08:41,958
Sorry, man. I didn't mean to scare you.
132
00:08:42,042 --> 00:08:44,458
I just wanted to come out here
and say thank you.
133
00:08:44,542 --> 00:08:47,333
Don't sweat it. I'm sure anybody
would have done that.
134
00:08:47,417 --> 00:08:48,750
Are you being serious right now?
135
00:08:48,833 --> 00:08:51,167
You just saved
everybody's life in that building.
136
00:08:51,917 --> 00:08:53,458
You just saved my life.
137
00:08:53,542 --> 00:08:54,708
I gotta pay you back.
138
00:08:55,500 --> 00:08:57,167
I don't need anything. I'm good.
139
00:08:57,250 --> 00:08:58,708
- How about a new job?
- What?
140
00:08:59,792 --> 00:09:02,292
DeMarr, after what you did tonight,
there's no way...
141
00:09:02,375 --> 00:09:05,500
no offense, that you can
go be a doorman anymore.
142
00:09:05,583 --> 00:09:07,667
Come work for me.
I'll put you on the payroll.
143
00:09:07,750 --> 00:09:10,708
Look, Mr. J-Gad, I appreciate it,
but I'm fine here.
144
00:09:11,500 --> 00:09:14,542
- Got a good boss...
- Starting salary is 200K plus benefits.
145
00:09:15,583 --> 00:09:17,083
- Yeah, that'll work.
- Yeah.
146
00:09:17,167 --> 00:09:19,167
{\an8}Josh Gad is in the news again.
147
00:09:19,250 --> 00:09:22,208
{\an8}The Frozen
star is catching fire and turning heads,
148
00:09:22,292 --> 00:09:24,542
{\an8}with his new superpowered personal valet.
149
00:09:24,625 --> 00:09:26,750
{\an8}The man in question
appears to be DeMarr Davis,
150
00:09:26,833 --> 00:09:28,167
{\an8}former Wilcox employee,
151
00:09:28,250 --> 00:09:30,750
{\an8}who's affectionately
been dubbed "Doorman."
152
00:09:30,833 --> 00:09:32,958
{\an8}He's been spotted all over town with Josh
153
00:09:33,042 --> 00:09:37,500
{\an8}and seemingly has the power to move
himself and his boss through solid walls.
154
00:09:37,583 --> 00:09:39,500
{\an8}Davis recently saved a crowd
155
00:09:39,583 --> 00:09:41,083
{\an8}from a fire at a popular nightclub.
156
00:09:41,167 --> 00:09:46,292
{\an8}Now it seems he's exclusively
using his talents in service of Gad.
157
00:09:46,375 --> 00:09:49,292
{\an8}Meanwhile, this Mormon
has just Booked a new project,
158
00:09:49,375 --> 00:09:51,667
{\an8}an action comedy called Cash Grab.
159
00:09:52,250 --> 00:09:55,208
{\an8}You might say this former LeFou...
is Gast-on a roll.
160
00:10:06,250 --> 00:10:07,375
Dying for some sugar.
161
00:10:07,458 --> 00:10:09,375
They got some stale
snickerdoodle cookies over there.
162
00:10:09,458 --> 00:10:11,042
- Mmm.
- But it's better to have no cookie
163
00:10:11,125 --> 00:10:12,375
than to have a disappointing cookie.
164
00:10:12,458 --> 00:10:13,542
- Know what I'm saying?
- Huh.
165
00:10:13,625 --> 00:10:16,750
Frank Preminger, Hanover Agency.
166
00:10:16,833 --> 00:10:17,958
Oh, I heard of that.
167
00:10:18,042 --> 00:10:19,417
- DeMarr, right?
- Yeah.
168
00:10:19,500 --> 00:10:21,083
- The Doorman?
- Live and direct.
169
00:10:22,375 --> 00:10:24,000
Ding dong.
170
00:10:24,625 --> 00:10:25,625
You're a funny guy.
171
00:10:25,708 --> 00:10:28,833
- Thank you.
- Yeah. Do you ever think about acting?
172
00:10:28,917 --> 00:10:32,417
Nah. Not my thing, Frank.
173
00:10:33,333 --> 00:10:35,750
Besides, who will get
J-Gad his snack plate?
174
00:10:35,833 --> 00:10:38,458
True. Keep it. You never know.
175
00:10:38,542 --> 00:10:42,542
It's just,
you know the heist is feeling flat.
176
00:10:42,625 --> 00:10:45,042
Mmm-hmm, I agree. I think we need
something more original.
177
00:10:45,125 --> 00:10:47,125
Well, we could go back
to flooding the vault.
178
00:10:47,208 --> 00:10:48,500
I always liked that version.
179
00:10:48,583 --> 00:10:50,958
Snatched you some crab rangoons
before they got housed.
180
00:10:52,125 --> 00:10:56,708
Or we could use liquid nitrogen
to freeze the locks and shatter them.
181
00:10:56,792 --> 00:10:58,417
The vault needs to be impenetrable.
182
00:10:58,500 --> 00:11:01,958
The whole point is that this crew
are the only ones on the planet
183
00:11:02,042 --> 00:11:03,667
that can get in or out.
184
00:11:04,833 --> 00:11:05,833
Um...
185
00:11:06,792 --> 00:11:07,958
I may have something.
186
00:11:08,708 --> 00:11:10,667
Look, man, I wanna help out.
187
00:11:10,750 --> 00:11:11,958
But I can't act.
188
00:11:12,042 --> 00:11:14,208
Who cares? I can't act.
189
00:11:14,292 --> 00:11:16,208
It's never stopped me from being an actor.
190
00:11:16,292 --> 00:11:17,750
We'll make sure
it's only a couple of lines.
191
00:11:17,833 --> 00:11:20,042
This will be easy, I'm telling you.
192
00:11:20,125 --> 00:11:22,458
You know what's easy?
If you bring somebody else in.
193
00:11:22,542 --> 00:11:24,708
Keep the idea, a brilliant idea.
194
00:11:24,792 --> 00:11:28,458
Bring in a real actor.
Then you can fake it with CGI.
195
00:11:28,542 --> 00:11:31,542
Yeah, but what makes it cool
is that it's you.
196
00:11:31,625 --> 00:11:35,208
People know who you are,
and they would go crazy.
197
00:11:35,292 --> 00:11:38,292
I don't know.
I'm more comfortable behind the scenes.
198
00:11:38,375 --> 00:11:42,375
DeMarr, there is a reason
that you are making headlines.
199
00:11:42,458 --> 00:11:45,083
You have something
that other people just don't.
200
00:11:45,167 --> 00:11:48,333
It's a... a charisma, a charm.
201
00:11:48,417 --> 00:11:51,333
On top of all of that,
you can become a door.
202
00:11:52,167 --> 00:11:56,042
It is not every day that an opportunity
like this just falls into your lap.
203
00:11:56,125 --> 00:11:57,500
You do realize that, right?
204
00:12:02,875 --> 00:12:04,208
- All right.
- Yeah.
205
00:12:04,875 --> 00:12:06,125
All right.
206
00:12:06,208 --> 00:12:07,333
It's gonna be great.
207
00:12:12,250 --> 00:12:13,792
Vamos a la playa, amigos.
208
00:12:13,875 --> 00:12:16,125
We've been training ten years for this.
209
00:12:16,208 --> 00:12:19,458
And now we've only got 30 seconds
to grab some cash.
210
00:12:26,083 --> 00:12:28,792
Oh, shit. No! We're trapped.
211
00:12:30,542 --> 00:12:32,208
I knew you'd trip the silent alarm.
212
00:12:32,292 --> 00:12:34,333
What difference does it make?
We're all gonna die.
213
00:12:34,417 --> 00:12:36,375
Hey, keep it together, you two.
214
00:12:36,458 --> 00:12:38,333
Why, Jake? It's time to panic.
215
00:12:38,417 --> 00:12:40,125
I wouldn't be so sure about that.
216
00:12:43,333 --> 00:12:44,458
Ding-dong, motherfu...
217
00:12:44,542 --> 00:12:47,000
Doorman!
218
00:12:48,875 --> 00:12:51,875
Doorman, Doorman, Doorman!
219
00:12:55,292 --> 00:12:57,083
What did I tell you, huh?
220
00:12:58,167 --> 00:12:59,167
They love you.
221
00:13:00,125 --> 00:13:02,875
And things get a little crazyon this week's Murphy Family.
222
00:13:02,958 --> 00:13:06,167
When special guest DeMarr "Doorman" Davis
comes a-knockin'.
223
00:13:08,083 --> 00:13:11,167
There's the door... man.
224
00:13:16,083 --> 00:13:17,542
{\an8}Where is that thing?
225
00:13:17,625 --> 00:13:20,792
{\an8}I'm so embarrassed.
Oh, hold on. I got this.
226
00:13:27,750 --> 00:13:30,750
{\an8}Ding-dong, babies! Ding to the dong!
227
00:13:30,833 --> 00:13:33,167
{\an8}The people are real, the rulings are real.
228
00:13:33,250 --> 00:13:36,625
{\an8}And this week's guest judge isn't afraid
to tell it like it is.
229
00:13:36,708 --> 00:13:39,958
Ding-dong.
I said ding-dong! You ding-dongs!
230
00:13:40,042 --> 00:13:42,583
- I am a big fan.
- You want a pic?
231
00:13:42,667 --> 00:13:43,792
Okay.
232
00:13:47,750 --> 00:13:49,208
I remember this place.
233
00:13:50,000 --> 00:13:52,083
Dang, girl, you done got fine. What's up?
234
00:13:52,167 --> 00:13:54,583
Yo! Mind if I come in for a drink?
235
00:13:54,667 --> 00:13:56,917
Oh, of course, Mr. Doorman.
Please, head right in.
236
00:13:57,000 --> 00:13:58,375
Yeah.
237
00:13:58,458 --> 00:14:01,417
Oh, if things quiet down, why don't you
come and have a drink with us?
238
00:14:01,500 --> 00:14:03,333
Oh, I'd love that. Thank you.
239
00:14:03,417 --> 00:14:04,750
Ding-dong.
240
00:14:06,417 --> 00:14:08,792
Ding-dong.
241
00:14:10,042 --> 00:14:13,750
♪ Dance, dance, dance, dance ♪
242
00:14:13,833 --> 00:14:16,500
♪ You'll be dancing like a star
In Hollywood ♪
243
00:14:16,583 --> 00:14:17,583
♪ Oh, yeah ♪
244
00:14:17,667 --> 00:14:20,250
♪ You'll be dancing like a star
In Hollywood ♪
245
00:14:20,333 --> 00:14:21,375
♪ All right ♪
246
00:14:21,458 --> 00:14:24,208
♪ Holly-Hollywood, Holly-Hollywood ♪
247
00:14:28,792 --> 00:14:30,167
Yeah!
248
00:14:30,250 --> 00:14:33,375
Is there a celebrity in here
that used to be my employee?
249
00:14:33,458 --> 00:14:35,417
Oh, Bridget, what's up, girl?
250
00:14:35,500 --> 00:14:39,042
Bridget! Yo, what's goin' on?
251
00:14:39,125 --> 00:14:40,375
Wow.
252
00:14:41,125 --> 00:14:43,125
- Y'all, this is Bridget Bailey.
- Yeah.
253
00:14:43,208 --> 00:14:44,875
- The number-one club owner in LA...
- Hey.
254
00:14:44,958 --> 00:14:46,833
- And an amazing boss.
- Hey. I like that.
255
00:14:46,917 --> 00:14:47,917
Wow. Look at you.
256
00:14:48,750 --> 00:14:50,083
- You look great.
- Thank you.
257
00:14:50,167 --> 00:14:51,875
- I heard you got a movie out.
- Ding-dong.
258
00:14:51,958 --> 00:14:53,458
I'm sorry, I haven't seen it yet.
259
00:14:53,542 --> 00:14:55,208
- Oh, don't worry about it.
- Yet.
260
00:14:55,292 --> 00:14:56,583
- How are you doing?
- Me?
261
00:14:56,667 --> 00:14:59,500
- Yeah.
- You know, same old, same old.
262
00:14:59,583 --> 00:15:00,583
So, uh...
263
00:15:02,083 --> 00:15:03,083
You happy?
264
00:15:03,167 --> 00:15:04,208
Damn straight.
265
00:15:05,042 --> 00:15:08,750
I just got off the phone with my agent,
and he told me he landed me a huge,
266
00:15:08,833 --> 00:15:11,875
- huge commercial contract.
- Wow.
267
00:15:11,958 --> 00:15:13,167
Life's about to change.
268
00:15:21,833 --> 00:15:22,917
What the hell?
269
00:15:23,000 --> 00:15:25,625
"Wouldn't 'knock-knock'
make more sense as a catchphrase?"
270
00:15:25,708 --> 00:15:27,375
That's a good one, Samuel.
271
00:15:27,458 --> 00:15:29,125
Hmm. Mark that one.
272
00:15:31,083 --> 00:15:34,792
"Please tell me
when his fifteen minutes are up."
273
00:15:36,417 --> 00:15:39,167
"Getting real tired
of this Ding Dong business."
274
00:15:41,042 --> 00:15:44,417
"Some fools are hating,
but Doorman still makes me smile."
275
00:15:46,583 --> 00:15:47,583
Thank you.
276
00:15:50,000 --> 00:15:52,542
I'll come grab you in a bit for rehearsal.
Let me know if you need anything else.
277
00:15:52,625 --> 00:15:54,208
Will do.
278
00:15:54,292 --> 00:15:55,958
Oh, maybe some ice for the water.
279
00:15:57,417 --> 00:16:02,000
Or, I can go to town with this brown.
280
00:16:05,625 --> 00:16:08,417
Doorman. Yo, this is crazy.
I'm such a huge fan, bro.
281
00:16:09,292 --> 00:16:12,542
- Good to meet you, bro. I appreciate that.
- Yeah.
282
00:16:12,625 --> 00:16:14,042
So, hey, look I was looking
over the pages...
283
00:16:14,125 --> 00:16:16,375
Yo, man, we wrote that at
three o' clock in the morning, man.
284
00:16:16,458 --> 00:16:18,417
- Go easy on me.
- No, no, it ain't that. It's just...
285
00:16:18,500 --> 00:16:21,042
I'm... I'm a little nervous about the bit.
286
00:16:21,125 --> 00:16:23,125
Don't sweat it. People love when you can
poke a little fun
287
00:16:23,208 --> 00:16:24,292
at yourself, man. Trust me.
288
00:16:24,917 --> 00:16:26,667
- Okay, cool.
- Okay.
289
00:16:26,750 --> 00:16:28,042
- I gotta get back out to rehearsal.
- All right.
290
00:16:28,125 --> 00:16:29,625
- See you out there?
- For sure.
291
00:16:33,667 --> 00:16:37,000
{\an8}Hey!
292
00:16:37,083 --> 00:16:39,667
Hey, what's up, y'all? It's me.
293
00:16:39,750 --> 00:16:43,667
D-list actor and literal door,
DeMarr Davis aka "Doorman!"
294
00:16:43,750 --> 00:16:45,667
And welcome to Ding-Dong Tonight.
295
00:16:50,625 --> 00:16:52,417
I'm a little thirsty. A little thirsty.
296
00:16:52,500 --> 00:16:53,500
See what I can...
297
00:16:56,333 --> 00:16:57,708
Oh!
298
00:17:01,083 --> 00:17:03,042
Tastes like door. A-ding-dong!
299
00:17:04,833 --> 00:17:06,292
What else I got up in here?
300
00:17:06,375 --> 00:17:08,750
Oh! Whoa!
301
00:17:08,833 --> 00:17:11,458
My mixtape. That's my mixtape.
I've been looking for this.
302
00:17:11,542 --> 00:17:13,583
Ding-Dong!
303
00:17:13,667 --> 00:17:15,292
Oh!
304
00:17:15,375 --> 00:17:17,958
I call this, the go-long-ding-dong.
305
00:17:19,292 --> 00:17:20,833
♪ Ding ding dong ♪
306
00:17:20,917 --> 00:17:23,667
♪ Ding ding ding ding ding dong ♪
307
00:17:23,750 --> 00:17:26,042
Oh, snap. Oh, look at this.
308
00:17:26,125 --> 00:17:27,417
♪ Ding ding ding ding ding dong ♪
309
00:17:27,500 --> 00:17:29,750
Oh. What's up, DeMarr?
310
00:17:29,833 --> 00:17:31,500
Man, what are you doing here?
311
00:17:31,583 --> 00:17:33,500
I thought you was hiding out from the IRS.
312
00:17:34,958 --> 00:17:37,708
Earl, come on,
you gotta cool it with those rumors...
313
00:17:37,792 --> 00:17:38,792
and that impression.
314
00:17:38,875 --> 00:17:42,375
"Ding-dong." I mean, who is that?
That's not me, is it?
315
00:17:43,000 --> 00:17:45,083
I mean, I'm much more
than just a catchphrase.
316
00:17:45,167 --> 00:17:47,833
You know, Earl,
a lot of people don't realize
317
00:17:47,917 --> 00:17:51,417
that I've been taking acting classes
at the Stella Adler Academy.
318
00:17:51,500 --> 00:17:52,833
- Really?
- Yeah.
319
00:17:52,917 --> 00:17:54,167
Well, let's see some of that training.
320
00:18:11,250 --> 00:18:17,667
"Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him, Horatio,
a fellow of infinite..."
321
00:18:19,458 --> 00:18:20,458
ding-dongs.
322
00:18:25,417 --> 00:18:29,708
With my diet, sometimes I have trouble
getting things to move through me.
323
00:18:30,542 --> 00:18:34,417
Try Expellax. It'll have your insides
as insubstantial as mine.
324
00:18:35,250 --> 00:18:36,625
Doorman, boundaries.
325
00:18:37,917 --> 00:18:38,917
Ding-dong.
326
00:18:41,625 --> 00:18:44,250
Expellax, in new black cherry flavor.
327
00:18:44,875 --> 00:18:45,917
Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa!
328
00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:48,917
Sure you don't wanna slow down there, pal?
329
00:18:50,583 --> 00:18:51,583
You're an hour late.
330
00:18:52,458 --> 00:18:53,958
Well, I'm here now.
331
00:18:54,833 --> 00:18:57,250
- What do you want to talk about?
- Expellax.
332
00:18:57,333 --> 00:18:59,417
They said the campaign
would be smart and elevated,
333
00:19:00,292 --> 00:19:02,792
like Seinfeld and American Express.
But these...
334
00:19:02,875 --> 00:19:04,292
Yeah, about that.
335
00:19:05,042 --> 00:19:06,875
Ogilvy's cutting the contract short.
336
00:19:08,250 --> 00:19:09,667
They just feel the joke's a little...
337
00:19:10,833 --> 00:19:11,833
stale.
338
00:19:11,917 --> 00:19:15,417
Exactly. That's why we need
to come up with some new ideas.
339
00:19:15,500 --> 00:19:17,208
- Let me pitch you...
- It's too late, DeMarr.
340
00:19:17,292 --> 00:19:19,417
They already signed Michael Strahan. So...
341
00:19:19,500 --> 00:19:20,625
- Strahan?
- Yeah.
342
00:19:21,292 --> 00:19:23,792
That don't even make sense.
He's just a normal guy.
343
00:19:23,875 --> 00:19:27,208
He is charming AF, and apparently
suffers from chronic constipation.
344
00:19:27,292 --> 00:19:28,708
Damn.
345
00:19:29,583 --> 00:19:32,083
Can we fight this?
I mean, we got a contract, right?
346
00:19:32,167 --> 00:19:34,917
I don't think we wanna take on
a huge advertising agency.
347
00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:36,500
Things are getting pretty tight.
348
00:19:37,833 --> 00:19:40,208
Behind on car payments
and a few other things.
349
00:19:40,292 --> 00:19:43,333
Oh, come on, DeMarr,
you gotta be more careful with your money.
350
00:19:43,417 --> 00:19:45,083
You know how this business works.
351
00:19:46,125 --> 00:19:48,958
You can't count on the next paycheck
until it's in your hands.
352
00:19:50,500 --> 00:19:51,667
You've never said that.
353
00:19:52,500 --> 00:19:53,542
I'm saying it now.
354
00:19:56,583 --> 00:19:58,958
You don't have any other superpowers
you didn't tell me about, right?
355
00:19:59,042 --> 00:20:00,542
Just the door thing.
356
00:20:01,708 --> 00:20:02,958
Cool.
357
00:20:03,042 --> 00:20:05,500
Okay, well, look, this is a dip.
358
00:20:05,583 --> 00:20:08,292
This is a tiny little dip,
and we're gonna get back on top.
359
00:20:08,375 --> 00:20:13,083
We're gonna get you something better.
Something... smart and elevated.
360
00:20:13,917 --> 00:20:15,042
Trust me.
361
00:20:16,042 --> 00:20:18,375
{\an8}That's right. This?
You don't even need this no more.
362
00:20:18,458 --> 00:20:20,792
{\an8}This is a drum.
'Cause with the Potato Bag,
363
00:20:20,875 --> 00:20:24,917
{\an8}your potatoes will come fluffy
on the inside and chewy on the outside.
364
00:20:25,000 --> 00:20:27,958
{\an8}Why juggle a tough schedule
when you can just use the Potato Bag?
365
00:20:28,042 --> 00:20:30,750
{\an8}Just drop it and plop it in the microwave.
366
00:20:30,833 --> 00:20:32,833
{\an8}You hear that sound?
367
00:20:33,333 --> 00:20:36,042
{\an8}I think the potatoes
just said "ding-dong."
368
00:20:37,125 --> 00:20:38,125
{\an8}Ooh!
369
00:20:38,208 --> 00:20:40,375
{\an8}Well, looks like Doorman
is back in the news.
370
00:20:40,458 --> 00:20:44,833
{\an8}Only this time, the overnight success
finds himself in a bit of hot water.
371
00:20:44,917 --> 00:20:46,917
{\an8}Steam might be more accurate.
372
00:20:47,542 --> 00:20:49,917
{\an8}DeMarr Davis has been hit
with several lawsuits
373
00:20:50,000 --> 00:20:52,833
{\an8}over his involvement
in the Potato Bag product,
374
00:20:52,917 --> 00:20:55,708
{\an8}which has been found to cause
severe steam burns.
375
00:20:55,792 --> 00:20:57,292
{\an8}Ouch.
376
00:20:57,375 --> 00:21:00,375
{\an8}Hey, Doorknobs.
I just wanted to get on today
377
00:21:00,458 --> 00:21:03,250
{\an8}just to let you know that I'm sorry
to the hundreds of you
378
00:21:03,333 --> 00:21:06,667
{\an8}who experienced steam burns
from using the Potato Bag.
379
00:21:06,750 --> 00:21:09,333
{\an8}I want you to know
that I'm in full support
380
00:21:09,417 --> 00:21:11,833
{\an8}of the class action lawsuit
381
00:21:11,917 --> 00:21:14,042
{\an8}and that I, too, was misled
382
00:21:14,125 --> 00:21:17,667
{\an8}by Food America Product Incorporated.
383
00:21:17,750 --> 00:21:20,833
{\an8}I think, at this moment,
I need to take some time to step away
384
00:21:20,917 --> 00:21:26,708
and really reflect on where
all this is going for me and for you.
385
00:21:26,792 --> 00:21:30,500
So stay supportive, and I will stay
supporting you. Keep knocking.
386
00:21:32,667 --> 00:21:33,667
Shit.
387
00:21:56,125 --> 00:21:58,833
- Oh, shit.
- There's my best friend.
388
00:21:58,917 --> 00:22:00,250
- I miss you, man.
- I miss you more.
389
00:22:00,333 --> 00:22:02,708
Guess what, though?Studio wants Cash Grab Two.
390
00:22:02,792 --> 00:22:04,208
- Really?
- Hell yeah.
391
00:22:04,875 --> 00:22:05,875
You bullshitting.
392
00:22:05,958 --> 00:22:08,542
No, man. We're getting the band
back together. You in?
393
00:22:08,625 --> 00:22:10,042
Of course. I'm in.
394
00:22:10,125 --> 00:22:11,625
Ah, beautiful, man.
395
00:22:11,708 --> 00:22:13,000
- Let's do it.
- Yeah?
396
00:22:13,083 --> 00:22:14,625
- Hell yeah.
- Amazing.
397
00:22:14,708 --> 00:22:16,875
- All right, I'll be in touch, bud.
- All right.
398
00:22:24,000 --> 00:22:25,292
Thank you. Thank you.
399
00:22:26,250 --> 00:22:28,750
Don't mess this up. Don't mess this up.
400
00:22:44,000 --> 00:22:45,042
Ding-dong.
401
00:22:49,500 --> 00:22:51,792
They're inviting you to set, again.
402
00:22:51,875 --> 00:22:52,875
I'm coming.
403
00:22:54,250 --> 00:22:55,250
DeMarr?
404
00:22:56,333 --> 00:22:57,333
Go ahead.
405
00:22:59,583 --> 00:23:00,667
Oh, shit.
406
00:23:03,167 --> 00:23:05,417
Cash Grab Two apart
is upping our game on the stunts.
407
00:23:05,500 --> 00:23:08,625
Hey, you're that Incredible Hulk, huh?
You ain't that tall.
408
00:23:08,708 --> 00:23:10,458
DeMarr, you're all right with that, right?
The stunts?
409
00:23:10,542 --> 00:23:13,583
Of course. Me and Tom Cruise,
we do our own stunts, baby.
410
00:23:14,417 --> 00:23:16,583
DeMarr... DeMarr, you good, bud?
411
00:23:16,667 --> 00:23:18,083
- Yeah. I'm good to go.
- Okay.
412
00:23:18,667 --> 00:23:19,917
G-T-G.
413
00:23:20,750 --> 00:23:22,375
- A mark.
- B mark.
414
00:23:23,000 --> 00:23:24,792
And action!
415
00:23:31,292 --> 00:23:34,458
We only get one shot at this, Gustavo.
You ready?
416
00:23:34,542 --> 00:23:36,000
Always, Jake.
417
00:23:38,542 --> 00:23:39,833
We're in position.
418
00:23:39,917 --> 00:23:41,625
- They're in place.
- Okay. Yeah.
419
00:23:43,000 --> 00:23:44,000
Here we go.
420
00:23:59,292 --> 00:24:00,417
I'm going through.
421
00:24:00,500 --> 00:24:01,500
All right.
422
00:24:23,042 --> 00:24:24,375
Where is he?
423
00:24:24,458 --> 00:24:25,458
He didn't come out.
424
00:24:31,792 --> 00:24:32,792
J-Gad!
425
00:24:35,000 --> 00:24:36,000
J...
426
00:24:41,375 --> 00:24:43,167
Where is Josh Gad?
427
00:24:43,250 --> 00:24:45,417
{\an8}The world wants to know.
428
00:24:45,500 --> 00:24:48,667
{\an8}It's been months since he disappeared
inside DeMarr Davis,
429
00:24:48,750 --> 00:24:52,250
{\an8}and the Department of Damage Control
is still searching for answers.
430
00:24:52,333 --> 00:24:54,125
{\an8}We want to assure the American public
431
00:24:54,208 --> 00:24:58,333
{\an8}that the Department
takes this horrific incident seriously.
432
00:24:58,417 --> 00:25:02,333
{\an8}DeMarr Davis will be continually monitored
for the rest of his life.
433
00:25:02,417 --> 00:25:04,333
{\an8}We will do everything in our power
434
00:25:04,417 --> 00:25:08,375
{\an8}to ensure a tragedy of this magnitude
never happens again.
435
00:25:08,458 --> 00:25:12,750
{\an8}While the DODC continues to
probe, experiment, and investigate
436
00:25:12,833 --> 00:25:16,250
{\an8}every inch of DeMarr Davis,
Hollywood is now waiting.
437
00:25:16,333 --> 00:25:19,125
{\an8}Every major studio in Hollywood
is doing their part
438
00:25:19,208 --> 00:25:21,542
{\an8}to avoid another possible tragedy.
439
00:25:21,625 --> 00:25:24,167
{\an8}They're calling it "The Doorman Clause."
440
00:25:24,250 --> 00:25:26,792
Going forward,
it will be nearly impossible
441
00:25:26,875 --> 00:25:32,125
for superpowered individuals to perform
in major motion picture or TV roles.
442
00:25:32,208 --> 00:25:35,458
The insurance required now, astronomical.
443
00:25:35,542 --> 00:25:36,708
Everything okay?
444
00:25:37,542 --> 00:25:38,583
Hmm?
445
00:25:38,667 --> 00:25:39,750
Is it bad news?
446
00:25:39,833 --> 00:25:42,292
Oh. No, it's... it's good.
447
00:25:43,042 --> 00:25:44,333
It's all good.
448
00:26:01,875 --> 00:26:05,833
♪ I have come a long way
From the hills of Tennessee ♪
449
00:26:05,917 --> 00:26:10,417
♪ And I've worked hard to make
The folks back home real proud of me ♪
450
00:26:10,500 --> 00:26:14,958
♪ Now everybody knows my name
No matter where I go ♪
451
00:26:15,042 --> 00:26:19,417
♪ But I never really made it till
The Johnny Carson Show ♪
452
00:26:22,917 --> 00:26:27,167
♪ Now I have dreamed of stardom
Since I was just a kid ♪
453
00:26:27,250 --> 00:26:31,500
{\an8}♪ And me 'n' Dollar dreamed beneath
This thirteen dollar wig ♪
454
00:26:31,583 --> 00:26:36,083
{\an8}♪ In my bell-bottom jumpsuits
With my rhinestones all aglow ♪
455
00:26:36,167 --> 00:26:41,625
{\an8}♪ I became an overnight success
From The Johnny Carson Show ♪
456
00:26:41,708 --> 00:26:46,708
♪ From polyester paradise
To silk and satin frills ♪
457
00:26:46,792 --> 00:26:51,375
♪ From a forty-eight foot mobile home
To a mansion on the hill ♪
458
00:26:51,458 --> 00:26:55,917
♪ From moonshine to rare wine
From a Packard to a Rolls ♪
459
00:26:56,000 --> 00:27:01,292
♪ But I'd never really made it till
The Johnny Carson Show ♪
460
00:27:01,375 --> 00:27:05,875
♪ Now there's only one small problem
Sometimes I get disturbed ♪
461
00:27:05,958 --> 00:27:10,792
♪ Folks sometimes get me confused
With Monti Rock the third ♪
462
00:27:10,875 --> 00:27:14,667
♪ But still I think it's worth it
And I just thought you should know ♪
463
00:27:14,750 --> 00:27:19,500
♪ That I'll always owe a special thanks
To The Johnny Carson Show ♪
464
00:27:19,583 --> 00:27:24,708
♪ I went from pop beads to diamonds
From car coats to fur ♪
465
00:27:24,792 --> 00:27:29,125
♪ From K-Mart to Guccis
From here no tellin' where ♪
466
00:27:29,208 --> 00:27:33,667
♪ From Hillbilly Heaven
To a penthouse on the coast ♪
467
00:27:33,750 --> 00:27:38,542
♪ But I never really made it till
The Johnny Carson Show ♪
468
00:27:48,417 --> 00:27:50,708
♪ Sometimes, I like to close my eyes ♪
469
00:27:50,792 --> 00:27:55,208
♪ And imagine what it'd be like
When summer does come, ah ♪
470
00:27:56,333 --> 00:28:00,000
♪ Bees'll buzz
Kids'll blow dandelion fuzz ♪
471
00:28:00,083 --> 00:28:04,667
♪ And I'll be doing whatever snow does
In summer ♪
472
00:28:05,958 --> 00:28:10,000
♪ A drink in my hand
My snow up against the burning sand ♪
473
00:28:10,083 --> 00:28:13,875
♪ Prob'ly getting gorgeously tanned
In summer ♪
474
00:28:16,167 --> 00:28:20,000
♪ I'll finally see a summer breeze,
Blow away a winter storm ♪
475
00:28:20,083 --> 00:28:24,458
♪ And find out what happens
To solid water when it gets warm ♪
476
00:28:25,958 --> 00:28:30,000
♪ And I can't wait to see
What my buddies all think of me ♪
477
00:28:30,083 --> 00:28:34,208
♪ Just imagine how much cooler
I'll be in summer ♪
478
00:28:34,292 --> 00:28:39,458
♪ Summer, summer, summer
Summer summer, summer ♪
479
00:28:39,542 --> 00:28:44,042
♪ In summer ♪
480
00:28:47,417 --> 00:28:51,708
♪ In summer ♪
481
00:28:51,792 --> 00:28:55,667
♪ Bad-dah, da-doo,
Uh-bah-bah-bah-bah-bah-boo ♪
482
00:28:55,750 --> 00:29:00,208
♪ The hot and the cold are both so intense
Put 'em together, it just makes sense ♪
483
00:29:00,292 --> 00:29:04,250
♪ Rrrat, dah-dah, dah-dah
Dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-doo ♪
484
00:29:04,333 --> 00:29:06,250
♪ Winter's a good time to stay in
And cuddle ♪
485
00:29:06,333 --> 00:29:08,208
♪ But put me in summer and I'll be a... ♪
486
00:29:08,292 --> 00:29:12,167
♪ Happy, happy, happy, happy
Happy, happy, snowman ♪
487
00:29:12,250 --> 00:29:13,792
♪ Happy, happy, snowman ♪
488
00:29:13,875 --> 00:29:14,958
♪ Happy snowman ♪
489
00:29:15,042 --> 00:29:16,333
♪ Happy snowman ♪
490
00:29:16,417 --> 00:29:18,750
♪ Happy, happy, happy, happy snowman ♪
491
00:29:18,833 --> 00:29:19,875
♪ Happy snowman ♪
492
00:29:20,792 --> 00:29:22,708
♪ Happy, happy... ♪
493
00:29:24,333 --> 00:29:27,083
♪ Happy, happy, happy, happy snowman ♪
494
00:29:27,792 --> 00:29:29,250
♪ Snowman, snowman ♪
495
00:29:32,292 --> 00:29:34,208
♪ Winter's a good time to stay in
And cuddle ♪
496
00:29:34,292 --> 00:29:36,167
♪ Winter's a good time to
Stay in and cuddle ♪
497
00:29:36,250 --> 00:29:37,417
♪ Winter's a good time... ♪
498
00:29:37,500 --> 00:29:39,250
♪ Winter's a good time to
Cuddle, cuddle, cuddle ♪
499
00:29:39,333 --> 00:29:41,958
- ♪ In summer ♪
- ♪ Happy, happy, happy, happy ♪
500
00:29:42,042 --> 00:29:43,292
♪ Snowman ♪
501
00:29:47,333 --> 00:29:52,125
♪ In summer ♪
39664
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